WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.280 --> 00:00:17.600 Andenogy, sit cancit, I'm so high ecstasy, sag cancelgema not Sorryenogy. 2 00:00:19.359 --> 00:00:22.879 What's up? Positive bitches? How are we doing today? If you're hearing 3 00:00:22.960 --> 00:00:26.679 this episode, then you are meant to be here, So keep listening on 4 00:00:26.800 --> 00:00:31.480 that Bitch's Positive Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh. Other times, baby Girl, 5 00:00:31.559 --> 00:00:35.600 we're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling our most empowered 6 00:00:35.679 --> 00:00:40.920 positive bitch self. That is Babe in true connection with herself. On this 7 00:00:41.079 --> 00:00:45.759 podcast, we unbecome who we are not so we can fully step into exactly 8 00:00:45.840 --> 00:00:49.520 who we came here to be. Today we're talking about one of my favorite 9 00:00:49.600 --> 00:00:53.920 topics, which is dating and relationships. I do want to quickly just say 10 00:00:53.960 --> 00:00:58.119 that as of April twenty fourth, Mercury is going direct, so you don't 11 00:00:58.159 --> 00:01:00.799 have to worry so much about those x is and things from your past coming 12 00:01:00.880 --> 00:01:04.439 back up. You should be experiencing much more clarity, and if you're not 13 00:01:04.680 --> 00:01:08.280 just yet, you will be in the next coming days. And if we're 14 00:01:08.319 --> 00:01:14.120 getting clarity, it's an amazing time to really get clear about what we want 15 00:01:14.480 --> 00:01:17.560 to not only get out of a relationship, but what is it do we 16 00:01:17.719 --> 00:01:22.760 want to give to a relationship. Because a relationship. I don't even believe 17 00:01:22.760 --> 00:01:26.239 it's fifty to fifty. I think it's one hundred and one hundred. Recently, 18 00:01:26.959 --> 00:01:32.719 there has been this cultural phenomenon, if you will, called drizzle Drizzle. 19 00:01:32.840 --> 00:01:37.400 Now, maybe you haven't heard about this yet, but you probably have 20 00:01:37.680 --> 00:01:42.280 heard of something called Sprinkle Sprinkle Shira seven. Now, I'm just gonna play 21 00:01:42.400 --> 00:01:48.599 you the audio of some of Shira seven seven videos. If you don't know 22 00:01:48.680 --> 00:01:52.799 who she is, but she is someone who talks about dating and relationships and 23 00:01:52.879 --> 00:01:59.239 it's really focused on how to get a provider man and she coaches mostly women. 24 00:01:59.319 --> 00:02:00.879 But this is one of her videos. How do you know if a 25 00:02:00.959 --> 00:02:05.879 dude is lying if his lips moved? Sprinkles, Prinkle, you said there's 26 00:02:05.879 --> 00:02:08.240 nothing wrong with you income. That's right, so there should be nothing wrong 27 00:02:08.280 --> 00:02:14.479 with you having two jobs. Sprinkles, You're totally right. I totally agree 28 00:02:14.479 --> 00:02:22.280 with you. No, what's your second job? Sir? This is another 29 00:02:22.319 --> 00:02:23.840 one. How do you ask man for money without feeling that like this? 30 00:02:24.599 --> 00:02:31.919 Do you want to make me happy right now? Yeah, I'm gonna make 31 00:02:31.960 --> 00:02:40.000 you happy too, But later on, what do you want? Then? 32 00:02:40.120 --> 00:02:51.560 West Spring has ear like this and give me as much money as you choose. 33 00:02:52.240 --> 00:02:54.639 It's kind of a te I just want to see what you're gonna give 34 00:02:58.560 --> 00:03:05.639 it, Like, Okay, let's go. So she is very much on 35 00:03:05.759 --> 00:03:08.800 the sideline of soft girl era, how to get money from your man. 36 00:03:09.560 --> 00:03:16.240 And because of this being so widespread and received by women, men are now 37 00:03:16.360 --> 00:03:24.000 responding with drizzle drizzle and entering their soft guy era. And that's what we're 38 00:03:24.039 --> 00:03:29.120 going to talk about today. But before we get into it, and we 39 00:03:29.240 --> 00:03:32.120 talk about how to respond to the soft guy era, how to date as 40 00:03:32.159 --> 00:03:37.080 a modern woman. If you will, I do have a couple of announcements. 41 00:03:37.800 --> 00:03:42.120 Okay, April thirtieth, my book Show Up as Her comes out, 42 00:03:42.199 --> 00:03:45.159 and I'm so excited for you to have it. If you have not ordered 43 00:03:45.199 --> 00:03:50.280 it just yet, girl, what are you doing? 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So, in response to the sheer seven to 79 00:06:27.879 --> 00:06:32.480 seven mindset of Sprinkle Sprinkle, there have been a plethora of men now saying 80 00:06:32.600 --> 00:06:36.279 drizzle, drizzle, And it wouldn't be right if I didn't show you these 81 00:06:36.399 --> 00:06:40.839 videos, at least two of them, so you can understand what I'm saying. 82 00:06:41.279 --> 00:06:45.079 And then we need to talk about how we can actually respond to both 83 00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:47.800 of these point of views and get what it is we want. I just 84 00:06:47.879 --> 00:06:51.240 got off the phone with someone I was seeing, and she asked me how 85 00:06:51.319 --> 00:06:55.360 my day was going, and I explained I was at the airport, and 86 00:06:55.480 --> 00:06:58.040 then she said, I'm glad you got there safe, and I said, 87 00:06:58.120 --> 00:07:00.800 yeah, I had to take an uber. I had to block her. 88 00:07:00.040 --> 00:07:03.519 I mean, she was great and everything. She was emotionally intelligent, always 89 00:07:03.560 --> 00:07:06.519 paid for dinner, pretty much cater to my every knee. But if you 90 00:07:06.680 --> 00:07:11.600 hear I'm taking ano uber to the airport and your first move is not to 91 00:07:11.720 --> 00:07:15.120 open up Venmo and send me money, are you even a real woman? 92 00:07:15.279 --> 00:07:17.399 And then you find out I'm on a commercial flight, you don't immediately charter 93 00:07:17.519 --> 00:07:20.920 me a private jet. I know my work, drizzled, drizzle, I'm 94 00:07:20.959 --> 00:07:24.879 in my soft guy era. I want to be paipered, And if you're 95 00:07:24.959 --> 00:07:28.319 broke, just say that and I'm sure later she'll come around looking for some 96 00:07:28.439 --> 00:07:31.399 sugar. But this sugar don't mix without drizzle. Okay, here's another one, 97 00:07:31.560 --> 00:07:33.600 just so you get the full stepe. I go on a date with 98 00:07:33.680 --> 00:07:39.160 a female and the bill comes and I look at it and I say, 99 00:07:39.319 --> 00:07:43.519 uh, you know, was so good to see you and everything. She 100 00:07:43.639 --> 00:07:46.040 don't pick up the bill, and she said, oh, you're not going 101 00:07:46.079 --> 00:07:48.879 to pay for it. I said, what, drizzle drizzle, I'm not 102 00:07:48.959 --> 00:07:54.319 going to pay for anything that's giving me an ick, Like I don't know 103 00:07:54.399 --> 00:07:57.639 what you're talking about, Like you're you should be paying for the bill. 104 00:07:58.480 --> 00:08:01.040 Like I don't know what you're talking about. Like I got ready, Like 105 00:08:01.160 --> 00:08:05.480 my suit costs like thousands of dollars. I got ready for you. My 106 00:08:05.600 --> 00:08:09.040 cologne costs a couple thousand, Like I got ready and showed up, Like 107 00:08:09.680 --> 00:08:13.360 I don't know what you're on, but I'm my soft guy era drizzle Drizzle. 108 00:08:13.439 --> 00:08:18.240 So I'm just trying to make sure that you understand that what's happening here 109 00:08:20.759 --> 00:08:22.879 is that you need to really put out. I don't know really what you 110 00:08:22.959 --> 00:08:24.800 have to offer. You could just say you're broke. But you could just 111 00:08:24.800 --> 00:08:28.000 say you're broke because I got a maid, I got a chef, I 112 00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:31.560 got an assistant. I don't really need a woman, So if you're broke, 113 00:08:31.680 --> 00:08:33.519 you can just say so, you know, but I have to go 114 00:08:33.559 --> 00:08:37.039 ahead and block her. I was not going back home with her. You 115 00:08:37.120 --> 00:08:39.279 know, if you and your soft guy era continue to be in your soft 116 00:08:39.320 --> 00:08:43.480 guy era, because we are not lowering our standards, we will find someone 117 00:08:43.480 --> 00:08:48.600 who would do better. So do I think these soft guy era videos are 118 00:08:50.240 --> 00:08:56.519 real? No? I think they're trying to make their own little point that 119 00:08:56.840 --> 00:09:03.600 maybe they feel like people are not valuing the right things when it comes to 120 00:09:03.759 --> 00:09:09.279 dating and might be too quick to cut someone off, maybe for the not 121 00:09:09.879 --> 00:09:15.200 not the best reasons. So when I hear drizzle drizzle, do I think 122 00:09:15.279 --> 00:09:20.320 they're really being serious? No? I think Shira seven to seven or whatever 123 00:09:20.320 --> 00:09:22.120 her name is, is really funny. I think these videos are really funny. 124 00:09:22.399 --> 00:09:26.320 I think they're both comical. But can I tell you what the truth 125 00:09:26.480 --> 00:09:30.799 is both of these points of view, these lenses are way too narrow for 126 00:09:30.879 --> 00:09:35.080 a real relationship. If all you're looking for is an ATM and another person, 127 00:09:35.720 --> 00:09:41.120 don't look for a relationship because let me just tell you, it will 128 00:09:41.279 --> 00:09:46.240 not sustain you and it will not fulfill you. If you think getting all 129 00:09:46.279 --> 00:09:48.039 your bills paid is what's going to make you happy at the end of the 130 00:09:48.159 --> 00:09:52.120 day, you have a route awakening waiting for you. Because when you come 131 00:09:52.240 --> 00:09:56.320 home after a long day and all you want to do is cry and have 132 00:09:56.480 --> 00:10:00.720 someone to talk to you, well, all you if you've ever looked for 133 00:10:00.799 --> 00:10:03.879 as an ATM, you didn't look for someone who's able to hold your emotional 134 00:10:03.960 --> 00:10:07.159 body. You didn't look for someone who's able to respond and be vulnerable with 135 00:10:09.639 --> 00:10:15.200 I am not disagreeing with all the things that Chira seven seven seven is saying, 136 00:10:15.840 --> 00:10:20.279 but I'm saying when you do only look for an ATM to be your 137 00:10:20.399 --> 00:10:26.080 partner, you miss out on so much more. And when you do that, 138 00:10:26.240 --> 00:10:31.399 it tells me that you're in survival mode. You're in a lack mindset. 139 00:10:31.840 --> 00:10:35.879 You don't trust God, you don't trust yourself to be able to attract 140 00:10:37.039 --> 00:10:41.440 finances on your own. You have to rely on this other person. If 141 00:10:41.480 --> 00:10:46.960 that's all you're looking for, you need to broaden your horizons here, because 142 00:10:48.039 --> 00:10:52.159 we need more than that. You're prioritizing a financial need. But what about 143 00:10:52.759 --> 00:10:58.200 everything else? What about everything else? To me, those things are important 144 00:10:58.799 --> 00:11:01.159 Emotionally, you'll be able to meet me. Intellectually, you'll be able to 145 00:11:01.240 --> 00:11:05.159 meet me financially. I do want you to be in good standing, of 146 00:11:05.279 --> 00:11:13.519 course, but it's not just that. I think what has happened is women 147 00:11:13.799 --> 00:11:20.919 have been fed a lie. You know how I feel about feminism, Okay, 148 00:11:20.480 --> 00:11:24.679 At one time feminism was a great thing. Yes, we should be 149 00:11:24.759 --> 00:11:28.279 paid equally for the same job. Yes we should have the right to vote. 150 00:11:28.399 --> 00:11:31.399 Yes, yes, yes. However, when there are these social movements, 151 00:11:31.639 --> 00:11:35.919 they end up going into the wrong people's hands, and they then are 152 00:11:37.039 --> 00:11:41.480 expanded into what they should not be. Feminism turned into oh, you want 153 00:11:41.519 --> 00:11:45.320 to beat men, become more like them. I don't want to be a 154 00:11:45.440 --> 00:11:48.039 man. I'm a woman, Okay, period. I don't want to become 155 00:11:48.080 --> 00:11:50.799 more like a man. I don't. I don't even want to be treated 156 00:11:50.840 --> 00:11:54.440 equal to men. I want to be treated better. Are you the window 157 00:11:54.559 --> 00:11:58.600 to another realm? If able to birth human beings out of your body? 158 00:11:58.720 --> 00:12:05.039 No? Okay, well then, end of story. I think that we 159 00:12:05.279 --> 00:12:11.000 have been fedali to move up the corporate ladder and work work, work, 160 00:12:11.080 --> 00:12:16.000 work work. We have a very different operating system than men do. They 161 00:12:16.159 --> 00:12:20.240 run on a twenty four hour cycle. Society is built for their cycle. 162 00:12:20.519 --> 00:12:24.799 We're on a twenty eight day cycle, our hormones, we function differently, 163 00:12:24.679 --> 00:12:28.879 and I think women have become so burnt out because they have been believing the 164 00:12:28.960 --> 00:12:33.919 lie that we're constantly fed that we should be this boss babe, move up 165 00:12:33.960 --> 00:12:37.679 the ladder, whatever it may be, instead of actually just listening to our 166 00:12:37.759 --> 00:12:43.159 own flow and our authentic hormonal cycle. I think because we're so burnt out, 167 00:12:43.480 --> 00:12:48.159 we really have highlighted we want to be in our soft girl era. 168 00:12:48.600 --> 00:12:52.679 This is what happens when we go too far in one direction. We tend 169 00:12:52.759 --> 00:12:56.200 to course correct because we're realizing this does not work. It doesn't work for 170 00:12:56.320 --> 00:13:03.080 us. When they is any one of these movements soft girl era movement, 171 00:13:03.600 --> 00:13:09.919 some voices will be highlighted like sheer a seven seven seven, and sometimes most 172 00:13:11.000 --> 00:13:13.519 of what they say can be right, but it doesn't mean it's exactly hitting 173 00:13:13.559 --> 00:13:20.159 the nail on the head. Just like there's toxic masculinity masculinity, there can 174 00:13:20.200 --> 00:13:26.000 also be toxic femininity. We've been telling men for a really long time that 175 00:13:26.120 --> 00:13:31.600 they're toxic, and so I believe a lot of masculine traits have now been 176 00:13:31.000 --> 00:13:37.440 removed from men and they have become more soft guy era because they've been told 177 00:13:37.440 --> 00:13:41.559 they're toxic, and I do see a lot of toxic femininity where we're only 178 00:13:41.720 --> 00:13:46.840 wanting a man who can pay for everything, and we're not actually valuing them 179 00:13:46.960 --> 00:13:52.200 as a human being. Both of these things. We need to find common 180 00:13:52.240 --> 00:13:58.000 ground again. And it just drives me crazy because people want commitment, they 181 00:13:58.120 --> 00:14:05.440 want love, they want relationship. But when we're falling into these TikTok traps 182 00:14:05.519 --> 00:14:09.720 of you only can think this one way. I think it really does sometimes 183 00:14:09.879 --> 00:14:15.600 more harm than good to me. When I think about princess treatment, it's 184 00:14:15.679 --> 00:14:18.960 not just oh, my person's inn ATM for me. I do want them 185 00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:20.759 paying for the dates. I do want them taking care of mostly everything. 186 00:14:22.200 --> 00:14:26.000 But they're not just an ATM. That's insane, that's not even what who 187 00:14:26.000 --> 00:14:30.679 would want that in ATM? Can't hug you, sorry, I don't know 188 00:14:30.759 --> 00:14:31.639 who else to tell you that. I'll be the one to tell you. 189 00:14:33.159 --> 00:14:37.240 Princess treatment is not just oh my person pays for me. It's also they 190 00:14:37.279 --> 00:14:41.240 can be emotionally vulnerable with you, hold space for you, they can open 191 00:14:41.320 --> 00:14:43.240 the door for you. They respect you, they see you as a whole 192 00:14:43.320 --> 00:14:50.159 human being. They're not just objectifying you in any relationship. It's not just 193 00:14:50.360 --> 00:14:54.840 fifty to fifty. It's really one hundred one hundred. But what we're giving 194 00:14:56.559 --> 00:15:01.519 is oftentimes different, and that's why you're in a relationship with another person because 195 00:15:01.600 --> 00:15:03.440 what you can give maybe they can't, and what they can give, maybe 196 00:15:03.519 --> 00:15:09.840 you can't. What I find so interesting is that at first we saw women 197 00:15:09.279 --> 00:15:13.840 having this trend of I can't trust men, so I'm gonna become my own 198 00:15:15.039 --> 00:15:18.879 man. I'm gonna be independent, and I don't need you. So women 199 00:15:18.039 --> 00:15:22.240 were, in that sense subconsciously trying to become the men that they couldn't be 200 00:15:22.440 --> 00:15:26.840 with. And now we're kind of seeing that with men. They're saying, 201 00:15:26.919 --> 00:15:30.240 Oh, you're gonna reject us because we don't have money, X, Y 202 00:15:30.360 --> 00:15:31.759 and Z, Well, you want to be in your soft girl era, 203 00:15:31.919 --> 00:15:37.559 we're gonna be in our soft guy era. Why are we mirroring one another 204 00:15:37.840 --> 00:15:41.559 in these ways instead of trying to fight fire with fire, instead of trying 205 00:15:41.600 --> 00:15:46.799 to become one another, why don't we just lean into our strengths. What 206 00:15:46.960 --> 00:15:52.759 a guy can offer me, I offer him completely different things, completely different. 207 00:15:54.720 --> 00:15:58.320 That's why we're coming together as a team. That's a whole point. 208 00:15:58.080 --> 00:16:02.399 It's gonna be one hundred percent energy from that man and one hundred percent energy 209 00:16:02.480 --> 00:16:04.840 from me. But what that guy offers me will be different than what I 210 00:16:06.000 --> 00:16:11.480 offer. I'm offering feminine energy, I'm offering creativity. I'm offering really an 211 00:16:11.639 --> 00:16:17.240 energy that creates that home. You know how they say that a woman really 212 00:16:17.480 --> 00:16:22.840 makes a home because it's it's her energy, her decorations that fills it and 213 00:16:22.960 --> 00:16:27.480 makes it a house feel like a home. It's different, it's different, 214 00:16:27.559 --> 00:16:33.200 and that's okay. We don't have to be like one another. Let's actually 215 00:16:33.480 --> 00:16:38.559 use our opposites to strengthen one another. And I find it really interesting. 216 00:16:38.639 --> 00:16:41.639 But usually in a relationship, I feel like, oh, this is not 217 00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:45.559 a bad thing. But I do believe this is true. I feel like 218 00:16:45.799 --> 00:16:49.960 men feed off of women's energy, but not in a bad way. Just 219 00:16:51.039 --> 00:16:56.759 because feminine energies are the creators. We literally birth out a human being from 220 00:16:56.799 --> 00:17:00.600 another realm. We are the creators. We have this energy, this force 221 00:17:00.720 --> 00:17:07.640 that's strong and loud, and that energy that fills a home that grounds a 222 00:17:07.720 --> 00:17:11.079 man and also gives him confidence to go out and do what he needs to 223 00:17:11.160 --> 00:17:18.960 do in the workplace in his life. And so I don't expect everything that 224 00:17:18.079 --> 00:17:22.240 I give to a man for him necessarily to give to me. I expect 225 00:17:22.279 --> 00:17:26.440 we're going to fulfill one another, but probably in different ways, but in 226 00:17:26.799 --> 00:17:32.039 perfectly different ways. If you're a woman, you're leading with your divine, 227 00:17:32.079 --> 00:17:36.480 feminine energy. There's nothing wrong with looking for a protector and a provider. 228 00:17:37.039 --> 00:17:41.359 I actually encourage that. But I wouldn't just say look for an ATM because 229 00:17:41.400 --> 00:17:45.920 a protector and a provider what does that actually mean. It means they have 230 00:17:45.960 --> 00:17:49.279 a relationship with God, they have values, they have morals, and yes, 231 00:17:49.359 --> 00:17:55.680 they can also financially hold themselves and hopefully you and potentially a future family. 232 00:17:56.200 --> 00:17:59.160 But a protector and a provider is not just a stack of money, 233 00:18:00.119 --> 00:18:03.799 because let me just tell you, you're gonna want more than that. You're 234 00:18:03.799 --> 00:18:06.640 gonna want someone to hold you when you're upset, You're gonna want someone to 235 00:18:06.720 --> 00:18:08.640 help you one day when you're having a bad day. Just trust me on 236 00:18:08.759 --> 00:18:14.400 that one. Okay. We need to be really, really clear and concise 237 00:18:14.519 --> 00:18:18.799 with what we actually want and what we're valuing. I also think it's an 238 00:18:18.799 --> 00:18:22.480 important note to say that, yes, we're all created equally, but we're 239 00:18:22.519 --> 00:18:29.000 not equal in the marketplace and in the dating pool, we're not equal. 240 00:18:29.480 --> 00:18:34.599 Sorry, You're not equal in the marketplace of career either. None of us 241 00:18:34.680 --> 00:18:42.680 are. We're not equal. If you have a degree in it, you 242 00:18:44.279 --> 00:18:48.920 are more valuable to someone who's hiring for it than I am because I don't 243 00:18:48.960 --> 00:18:52.000 have that degree. We are created equal, but we don't have equal value 244 00:18:52.400 --> 00:18:57.519 in the marketplace or the dating pool. That's the truth. Someone who has 245 00:18:59.160 --> 00:19:02.960 a job and has a good head on their shoulders and has good morals is 246 00:19:03.160 --> 00:19:08.319 more attractive in the marketplace than someone who is a bum duh. So if 247 00:19:08.400 --> 00:19:12.920 you're out there dating, you should be thinking like that. You should be. 248 00:19:14.640 --> 00:19:17.960 You want to be working on yourself so you are your best self, 249 00:19:18.279 --> 00:19:21.960 by the way, for you, like you came all the way down to 250 00:19:22.000 --> 00:19:25.839 planet Earth and incarnated here. Don't you want to feel good about your life 251 00:19:25.960 --> 00:19:29.920 and what you're offering to this incarnation. Don't you want to feel good about 252 00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:33.160 yourself? You should be working on your mind, bodies, spirit, morals, 253 00:19:33.319 --> 00:19:38.039 values. Even whatever you're doing, your passion project, your career, 254 00:19:38.160 --> 00:19:44.000 whatever you're doing in your life, you should be building yourself up. When 255 00:19:44.039 --> 00:19:47.839 are we happiest as humans, it's when we're growing something. We know that 256 00:19:47.920 --> 00:19:51.240 when we get what we want, we're like okay, and now what As 257 00:19:51.359 --> 00:19:56.440 humans, we are happiest when we're in a progression towards something, when we're 258 00:19:56.559 --> 00:20:00.839 processing towards something. So what are you building up in your life? Baby 259 00:20:00.880 --> 00:20:04.599 girl? I hope it's you. I hope it's you. I think both 260 00:20:04.839 --> 00:20:10.039 shire A seven seven seven and the soft guy era movement, if you will, 261 00:20:10.880 --> 00:20:15.480 they're both just too narrow of a lens to actually live through. If 262 00:20:15.519 --> 00:20:21.359 you want a real relationship. I always think it's best to work on yourself 263 00:20:21.759 --> 00:20:26.119 and become the most valuable version of you that you can possibly create. Again, 264 00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:32.240 not just for attracting a partner, but really for yourself. To me, 265 00:20:32.640 --> 00:20:34.400 you're either growing or you're dying. And baby girl, I did not 266 00:20:34.519 --> 00:20:38.240 come here to just straight up die. I want to grow. I want 267 00:20:38.279 --> 00:20:41.559 to find out how far I can go. I asked on Instagram. Be 268 00:20:41.640 --> 00:20:45.319 sure to follow me at vibe with CC if you're not already. What questions 269 00:20:45.319 --> 00:20:49.279 do you have about dating relationships? And we got a ton of beautiful, 270 00:20:49.319 --> 00:20:53.480 amazing questions that I want to get to. The first question we have is 271 00:20:53.559 --> 00:20:56.680 my energy is open and I'm looking, but I can't find anyone. It's 272 00:20:56.720 --> 00:21:03.440 hard to stay positive. So oh, look, your past doesn't have to 273 00:21:03.559 --> 00:21:07.119 equal your present or your future. And in order for your past to not 274 00:21:07.279 --> 00:21:11.720 equal your present and your future, you have to change what your beliefs are. 275 00:21:11.480 --> 00:21:17.359 It wouldn't be shocking to me if somewhere in your brain there's a bunch 276 00:21:17.440 --> 00:21:22.000 of neurons firing off that have the belief there's no one out there for me. 277 00:21:22.599 --> 00:21:26.160 Dating is so hard and all of that jazz. Obviously, I've been 278 00:21:26.200 --> 00:21:30.599 crying in my last two podcasts. I'm single once again. If you couldn't 279 00:21:30.640 --> 00:21:37.119 tell whatever. So I am actually excited in many ways because I get to 280 00:21:37.440 --> 00:21:42.240 use all of my techniques that I know works so well, and me and 281 00:21:42.359 --> 00:21:49.400 my person all love to him and we are on good terms. And I've 282 00:21:49.400 --> 00:21:53.119 been single for like a week or something, and I've already met amazing, 283 00:21:53.440 --> 00:21:56.960 great men. Honestly, like, I don't know what you people are talking 284 00:21:57.000 --> 00:22:02.119 about. I have to say, I have to be honest. I don't 285 00:22:02.240 --> 00:22:04.920 know. I'm not saying I'm marrying any of these people. Obviously I don't 286 00:22:06.000 --> 00:22:10.000 know them enough. But I went out and people always tell me it's so 287 00:22:10.119 --> 00:22:12.920 hard to find spiritual people. The first person I'm talking to, we go 288 00:22:14.359 --> 00:22:19.720 into a deep dive about ananaki ets we're talking about politics, we just go 289 00:22:21.000 --> 00:22:26.960 right into it, right into it. So I'm telling you take responsibility over 290 00:22:26.119 --> 00:22:32.480 your dating and your relationships because there are amazing men out there. There's amazing 291 00:22:32.559 --> 00:22:34.960 people out there, and they're all just waiting for you. What is the 292 00:22:36.079 --> 00:22:40.400 mindset I have that allows me to stay positive and attract amazing people into my 293 00:22:40.519 --> 00:22:44.920 life? Number One, I know if I exist, then there must be 294 00:22:45.720 --> 00:22:49.480 some sort of male version of me or someone who's like my vibration that exists 295 00:22:49.799 --> 00:22:53.559 too. If I'm real, they have to be real too. And if 296 00:22:53.599 --> 00:22:56.880 I didn't meet them yet, okay, that's fine. I'm still cooking myself 297 00:22:57.000 --> 00:23:02.039 up and they must be cooking themselves up too. But we will align. 298 00:23:02.559 --> 00:23:04.799 And in the meantime, I'm going to work on myself, my health, 299 00:23:06.079 --> 00:23:08.359 my fitness, my mindset, my career, the things I want to see. 300 00:23:10.160 --> 00:23:14.039 Don't forget. You most likely have had dreams since you were a baby. 301 00:23:14.519 --> 00:23:18.079 What are those dreams? And are you watering them? Are you nourishing 302 00:23:18.160 --> 00:23:22.640 them? Are you nourishing your friendships? Your hobbies? Be a full human. 303 00:23:22.079 --> 00:23:26.799 Be a full human. Don't be afraid to have hobbies and activities and 304 00:23:26.920 --> 00:23:30.839 things that really truly interest you, because the most interesting person in the room 305 00:23:30.960 --> 00:23:36.759 attracts other interesting people. There's not any interesting person that goes out there and 306 00:23:36.839 --> 00:23:38.680 says I want to find the most boring human being on planet Earth. That 307 00:23:38.839 --> 00:23:44.599 does not happen. When you're interesting, you attract interesting people. I also 308 00:23:44.759 --> 00:23:51.359 think that when you do meet someone that is getting closer to what it is 309 00:23:51.440 --> 00:23:55.640 you want, have a notebook and journal about it. I'm so excited that 310 00:23:55.880 --> 00:23:59.519 I found someone who's closer to what it is I want. I feel really 311 00:23:59.559 --> 00:24:02.920 good that I'm getting closer and closer to the vibration of the type of human 312 00:24:02.960 --> 00:24:06.839 that I want to be with. Because I have to say, you can't 313 00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:08.920 be thinking that all men suck and all men are trash, and all men 314 00:24:08.960 --> 00:24:14.680 are in their soft girl era or soft man era and expect to attract a 315 00:24:14.759 --> 00:24:18.680 good guy. It's just not gonna happen. Also, change up your environment. 316 00:24:19.599 --> 00:24:23.359 I told you I've been in my selective solitude era, and I went 317 00:24:23.440 --> 00:24:27.119 down to Florretta. I've been going to church. I've been going to restaurants. 318 00:24:27.160 --> 00:24:30.480 I've been going to bars. I've been going just to the beach. 319 00:24:32.079 --> 00:24:34.680 I go to a bunch of different places. A yoga studio, Plates class. 320 00:24:34.720 --> 00:24:38.519 Obviously probably not going to meet a guy in Plates, but I still 321 00:24:38.559 --> 00:24:42.000 go there because I might meet a girlfriend there and someone I can go out 322 00:24:42.039 --> 00:24:47.240 with and get dinner with. Put yourself out in different environments. If you 323 00:24:47.359 --> 00:24:51.480 feel like where you're going, you're just not meeting the type of people that 324 00:24:51.680 --> 00:24:56.240 you want to meet. Another question was how to meet potential partners. Dating 325 00:24:56.279 --> 00:24:59.839 apps haven't really worked for me in the past. I don't think it's really 326 00:25:00.160 --> 00:25:03.680 about the dating app as much as it is about the energy you bring to 327 00:25:03.799 --> 00:25:08.240 the dating app. If it's all selfies, that doesn't tell anyone anything about 328 00:25:08.359 --> 00:25:14.319 you. Really, make sure that you're not just writing the answers to the 329 00:25:14.440 --> 00:25:17.920 questions on the dating apps. Don't tell who you are. Show who you 330 00:25:18.039 --> 00:25:19.960 are, Show your personality. If you like to hike, put a hiking 331 00:25:21.039 --> 00:25:23.240 picture. If you love cooking, put a picture of you cooking. If 332 00:25:23.319 --> 00:25:26.640 you love to go to the beach, put a picture there. Show who 333 00:25:26.799 --> 00:25:32.720 you are, Let your personality shine through. I'm also very much in the 334 00:25:32.759 --> 00:25:38.960 mindset of I love and respect myself so much, and I know how much 335 00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:42.920 of an amazing person I am. I'm never trying to prove myself to someone 336 00:25:44.000 --> 00:25:48.519 else. And as soon as you feel yourself starting to try to prove yourself 337 00:25:48.559 --> 00:25:52.599 to someone else, read it back in because you are not here to sell 338 00:25:52.599 --> 00:25:57.519 yourself. You're here to embody your energy authentically and attract. So when you 339 00:25:57.640 --> 00:26:02.559 start to chase, remember anything we chase, whether it's a bug or a 340 00:26:02.640 --> 00:26:07.000 boy, it will only run away from us. I like to think that 341 00:26:07.279 --> 00:26:12.839 I am this beautiful temple, I am this altar. What are you bringing 342 00:26:14.039 --> 00:26:17.920 as an offering to my altar? And if I like your offering, I 343 00:26:18.039 --> 00:26:22.119 can accept and I will respond to you and we can see what happens. 344 00:26:22.920 --> 00:26:29.200 But I am not out there trying to say this is what I bring to 345 00:26:29.279 --> 00:26:33.599 the table. That is not how I operate. I know who I am, 346 00:26:33.799 --> 00:26:37.039 I know what my temple embodies. What are you offering to me. 347 00:26:37.599 --> 00:26:41.599 How to be a high value woman, I think it's very similar to being 348 00:26:41.680 --> 00:26:48.319 a high value man. It's someone who has morals and values and who takes 349 00:26:48.440 --> 00:26:55.240 care of themselves mentally, physically, spiritually. It's someone who understands what they 350 00:26:55.440 --> 00:27:00.400 bring and their value. They understand who they are, confident in who they 351 00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:04.680 are. And I think that a high value man understands his role as a 352 00:27:04.720 --> 00:27:08.480 protector and a provider, and I think a high value woman understands her role 353 00:27:08.519 --> 00:27:14.920 as bringing this really beautiful, grounding energy into the relationship, something that can 354 00:27:15.559 --> 00:27:21.519 sustain possibly not just her future partner, but her family too. How to 355 00:27:22.599 --> 00:27:26.720 start a conversation with someone you find attractive at the bar, You don't have 356 00:27:26.799 --> 00:27:29.960 to do much. You can just smile at them, you can wave at 357 00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:34.640 them. You can literally this past weekend there was a table behind us and 358 00:27:36.279 --> 00:27:38.480 I literally just bumped into the chair and was like, oops, my bad, 359 00:27:38.599 --> 00:27:41.440 and then they just started talking to us. So it doesn't have to 360 00:27:41.519 --> 00:27:51.160 be like some grand opening where you are expressing this soliloquy or monologue. You 361 00:27:51.279 --> 00:27:56.640 can just open up the conversation with what are you drinking? Waving, smiling. 362 00:27:57.160 --> 00:28:03.200 I don't think there's anything with being the person who opens up the conversation, 363 00:28:03.319 --> 00:28:07.200 especially as women. I think a lot of men are fearful of rejection 364 00:28:07.319 --> 00:28:11.000 because they deal with it more of the time, and there's a difference between 365 00:28:11.160 --> 00:28:15.319 choosing who you are and chasing. Nothing wrong with choosing opening up a conversation, 366 00:28:15.680 --> 00:28:19.720 But once you do that, feel out if they're also giving energy back 367 00:28:19.799 --> 00:28:22.920 to you, or are they looking all around the room trying to escape from 368 00:28:23.000 --> 00:28:26.759 you. So if you feel like they're not giving back the same energy, 369 00:28:27.279 --> 00:28:30.200 rejoin your friends, go to the bathroom, regroup, and then if they're 370 00:28:30.240 --> 00:28:34.119 into it, they'll come. How to stop attracting those who only want to 371 00:28:34.240 --> 00:28:41.359 be intimate, Stop being intimate with them, period period. If you don't 372 00:28:41.359 --> 00:28:44.279 want to be used, don't allow them to use you. That's all. 373 00:28:44.960 --> 00:28:51.880 That's all. Stop allowing what you don't want to amp la phi The line 374 00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:56.799 between recognizing is he love bombing or just being too nice. If someone is 375 00:28:56.920 --> 00:29:00.480 love bombing you, they're gonna be saying I love you, I'm obsessed with 376 00:29:00.599 --> 00:29:04.319 you, all these things without actually fully knowing you. If you know, 377 00:29:04.519 --> 00:29:07.079 in your heart of hearts, I don't actually know this person and they don't 378 00:29:07.119 --> 00:29:11.920 know me yet they're saying all these things and treating me like their whole wife, 379 00:29:11.240 --> 00:29:15.359 that's love bombing. No one should be doing that to anybody. It's 380 00:29:15.400 --> 00:29:21.359 impossible to know someone that quickly. So if you know you don't even know 381 00:29:21.519 --> 00:29:25.160 them and they don't know all these different parts of you yet, they're acting 382 00:29:25.240 --> 00:29:30.319 like they do. Red Flag in your twenties and never dated anyone, but 383 00:29:30.480 --> 00:29:34.119 always had crushes but nothing worked out. Okay, there's no question there. 384 00:29:34.559 --> 00:29:37.559 But I would say, you know, get out there, have fun, 385 00:29:37.640 --> 00:29:42.039 girl, get up on that horse, and just see what the world has 386 00:29:42.160 --> 00:29:48.720 to offer you. It's fun. Dating can be fun, and I really 387 00:29:48.799 --> 00:29:53.440 recommend not making it so serious because as soon as we do that and put 388 00:29:53.480 --> 00:29:57.680 pressure on ourselves, it becomes so draining and it's no longer fun when you're 389 00:29:57.720 --> 00:30:02.279 out there at a bar or d or meeting people. Just think about it 390 00:30:02.400 --> 00:30:06.640 as this person can be a potential friend, a potential business partner, a 391 00:30:06.720 --> 00:30:10.920 potential lover. You don't know, you don't know, you don't know God's 392 00:30:10.960 --> 00:30:15.519 plan. Allow the plan to unfold for you. I'm interested in people in 393 00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:18.359 general. I like having conversations, even if we're just talking about ets. 394 00:30:18.480 --> 00:30:22.440 That's fine with me. I don't need to love you. I don't need 395 00:30:22.480 --> 00:30:25.839 to make out with you for us to have a good conversation. So I 396 00:30:25.880 --> 00:30:30.039 would really recommend look at dating and relationships and going out as you just opening 397 00:30:30.119 --> 00:30:33.920 yourself up to new people, because really that's what it is, and don't 398 00:30:33.960 --> 00:30:37.960 take it so seriously. I know you want your husband or your wife or 399 00:30:37.000 --> 00:30:41.559 whoever it may be. You'll get them. You'll get them. Work on 400 00:30:41.680 --> 00:30:45.480 yourself. You have to set yourself up in a position to have success, 401 00:30:45.480 --> 00:30:48.440 so that means you have to put yourself out there. You can't be scared 402 00:30:48.839 --> 00:30:51.880 because remember what we talked about last time. You might be scared, but 403 00:30:51.960 --> 00:30:55.039 you have to keep going anyway. So if you are scared, okay, 404 00:30:55.200 --> 00:31:00.279 well sucks to suck. You gotta keep moving forward. Like I said time, 405 00:31:00.319 --> 00:31:02.640 I'm sometimes scared too, but that doesn't mean I stop. I have 406 00:31:02.720 --> 00:31:07.079 to keep going. We all do how to deal with your family community opinions 407 00:31:07.160 --> 00:31:08.759 after getting back with your twin flame. At the end of the day, 408 00:31:08.920 --> 00:31:11.359 you have to be with your partner for the rest of your life, so 409 00:31:11.519 --> 00:31:15.599 your opinion matters most. If there are people who really love you and are 410 00:31:15.680 --> 00:31:18.799 telling you, look, this person treats you really badly, you should take 411 00:31:18.839 --> 00:31:22.279 that into consideration. But at the end of the day, you do have 412 00:31:22.400 --> 00:31:25.839 to live with them. You do have to love them, so your opinion 413 00:31:25.880 --> 00:31:30.000 should matter the most. Single Mama is a man that leaves you while you're 414 00:31:30.079 --> 00:31:33.160 pregnant. That was never a man. That's a boy, and you're so 415 00:31:33.400 --> 00:31:40.960 blessed that he left now rather than later. Now you can set your sights 416 00:31:41.079 --> 00:31:44.680 on what you need to pay attention to which is this baby, and you 417 00:31:44.799 --> 00:31:48.960 can work on building up you and this baby and you will attract someone who 418 00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:52.160 will love you and that baby. You don't have to worry. Okay, 419 00:31:52.200 --> 00:31:55.160 positive bitches. That is about it for this week's episode. I do want 420 00:31:55.160 --> 00:31:59.200 to remind you to order show up as Her. We talk about manifestation one 421 00:31:59.240 --> 00:32:02.519 oh one in this book How to Attract Men, which I'm telling you is 422 00:32:02.599 --> 00:32:07.000 super easy if you do it right, it's super easy and it's super fun. 423 00:32:07.079 --> 00:32:12.039 It's not supposed to be this scary, difficult thing. And if you 424 00:32:12.240 --> 00:32:15.119 have insecurities and you're afraid to do it, work on yourself and then get 425 00:32:15.200 --> 00:32:17.559 back up on that horse. But show up at her. It can help 426 00:32:17.599 --> 00:32:21.160 you do so. I love you so much and I'll see you the next 427 00:32:21.200 --> 00:32:52.119 one. Come Energy CANCELGE can Sage make CANCELGE Make