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Hello, kleeps, it's me John
could sear the voice of the crypt Keeper

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and you're listening to chronicle from the
Cript. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm father

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Malone with me as always is casualty. Chris Statue, it's boy. It's

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so we're talking Tales from the Crypt. Baby. Oh my god. HBO

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television series that ran from nineteen ninety
nine to two thousand and twelve. God

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boy, what no two thousand and
twelve? So if it ran that long,

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boy, can you imagine what those
seasons would look like? Dear?

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You know what if it started later
and the the talent that ended up there

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were never part of the equation,
it could have been good for twelve se

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Do you think it's like a Simpsons
thing where instead of going like this,

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it went down first and then came
back up. Yeah. I think.

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I think if if it had been
given a chance where people who had been

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influenced by it got to do one, it would have been great. Yeah.

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And then you look at the last
Jedi and say, maybe that argument

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doesn't work. Well, No,
that just they picked the wrong guy.

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That's all. That's fair. That's
fair, that's fair. But look,

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you know this is the final episode
of this podcast, which to me is

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kind of nuts because I had started
this podcast oh so very long ago,

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I believe sometime in twenty fifteen,
if I'm not mistaken, and this is

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the podcast that I started, that
I got to talk to Bill Sadler.

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I didn't talk to Bill Sadler for
a movie. I talked to Bill Sadler

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for this podcast. This was the
first episode I ever did, the first

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show I ever did today that had
is it yeah? Oh? Is it

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really? That's awesome? Seventy one
today? What you know, what,

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Bills, I we'll talk about Bill
so other because I know we're both going

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to mention something about Bill Sather at
some point um, but that he was

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the first person I ever talked to
you in the industry, like ever interviewed

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seriously, and it was it was
intimidating, and I, you know,

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think I'm not intimidated now by it
as much as I was then. But

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at the same time, this was
kind of the podcast that if you've been

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listening to this podcast at all,
you know that there have been times and

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maybe you don't know this, given
kind of the way I've ret conned the

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old stuff out of existence and I
had to, and we did together,

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you and I did Father Malone.
But I started this podcast with a different

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host in twenty fifteen, and then
lesser host. Lesser host, well,

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he wasn't a lesser host. You
can throw shade all you fucking like you,

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because this is my show. Now
it's true you you never met the

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other person. This was long but
now I'm generous. But but they could

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they could be for a youn um. But to your point, I started

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it and then that person ended up
leaving a culture cast, so he didn't

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want to do this anymore. I
understand. If you don't have time for

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that, how are you gonna have
time for this? Uh? And then

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it just kind of laid dormant for
a while, and then you and I

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became friends, and then you and
I finally got on a podcast together,

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like what four months after, you
know, like we initially initial emailing.

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But um, which the movie that
we talked about the first time was Seeing

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No Sure was, there was,
and now we're but it was supposed to

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be Conan the Barbarians. Sure was, And I'm still rankling and I didn't

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get to talk about That's fair.
I don't such a great film. I

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don't think we ever did a podcast
on it, though, So let's just

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talk about that as opposed to this. This is the secret code in the

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Barbarian podcast in a random Tales from
the Chrystop flipped it in there. But

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then you and I became friends,
Jesus christ Um, and you know,

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after we became friends, and you
were on the podcast a couple of times,

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and then you know, I came
to visit and we didn't start chronicles

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until after I visited you the first
time, right, because we recorded an

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episode together in person the last time
I saw you in twenty eighteen, twenty

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nineteen. At this point, twenty
nine. God damn dude, because twenty

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twenty is a year that we'll never
forget but all want to. Yeah,

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it's it doesn't kind of exist,
honestly, it kind of doesn't. Like

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when you tell someone like the gentleman
I'm working for now, when I told

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him that he had done some work
in twenty eighteen for the project we're working

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on, he was like, holy
shit, really, And I was like,

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yeah, it was like three fucking
years ago. Like it's everybody kind

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of forgets about twenty twenty. I
don't know why. I guess we're forcing

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ourselves to. But when we initially
met, I had no preconceived notions that

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we would ever do a podcast together. And then Tales from the Cript kind

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of presented itself and you and I
and this again kind of behind the scenes

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stuff here before we talk about the
episode, you had actually come on to

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you and i'd have finish the show
right, And it was started in season

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five John Cassier Interview episode is I
like to call it because that's where I

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put the interview that I got with
John Cassier again, and that was Look,

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for me, this podcast will always
be this is the only Tales from

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the Crypt podcast that has John Cassier
doing intro. Please tell me how this

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isn't the only tales from the Krip
podcast you want to listen to. If

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they're listening to this one, they've
been listening, yes, So to be

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fair, you don't need to upbraid
them. It's all the other morons,

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that's fair. But and look,
I've never listened to the other tales for

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the Crypt podcast, at least not
recently, so I did. I know

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you did, And that's you.
You have your opinion. I think you've

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said it a couple times before,
and I know you're not a fan.

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I've never listened, so I can't
give my opinion. It's not that I

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don't want to say. I don't
want to. I don't want to throw

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anything on the bus kind of a
situation like you know, look their podcaster

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garbage. That's just a fact.
But hey, you know, look,

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you know what. Ultimately the thing
that cracks me up is that day you

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and I got together to record that
episode, we both essentially had the same

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conclusion at the end of it.
We were like, what are we doing

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if we don't just or maybe you
didn't have that conclusion. I didn't you

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you did not. I I was. I was ready to sort of finish

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it out with you, like I
thought, yeah, okay, I can

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sort of. You didn't have,
like Ken Holt, that you would want

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to like redo the entire show.
I guess I didn't really put it on

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the table though. Didn't. No, you didn't. I mean you were

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like, hey, let's do this
and if that works, then let's finish

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it out. And that is kind
of how I had set my mind to

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it. Um. But I did
jump at the chance to reevaluate this series,

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and we did once. Yeah,
I mean, here we are,

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so, um, and what did
we calculate? It is like three Well

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if it was sometime, so let's
see. So we recorded that episode in

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like April of twenty nineteen, right, and I visited you in July of

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twenty eighteen, So sometime between July
twenty eighteen and April twenty nineteen we recorded

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that episode and then we restarted the
the show. I don't remember exactly when.

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I'm sure I could look on my
spreeker account. But we're here now,

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so it's been about two years.
Yeah, and here we are.

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It feels you said this before we
started. It feels rather ignominious. Oh,

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it's a I think if you've listened
to any of the episodes for this

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season, you will know full well
our opinion on the way this show exited

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stage. Glad. You want to
know the day the day our first episode

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went up? You want to take
a guess. I have it in front

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of me, sometime long ago,
July sixteen, twenty eighteen. It's like

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three years, man, I know, that's how long it's taken to get

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through this show. Good lord,
I know too much, and well it's

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too much energy. You couldn't do
much time into this show, guys.

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But we're here at the end,
and yeah, it's it's the final episode

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of the show. We're going to
talk about it, and then we're going

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to talk about the show as a
whole, and I'll finally get to talk

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about, Um, We'll finally get
to talk about what the fuck the sales

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from the crypt Keeper Mysteries of the
Lost Temple of the crypt Keeper. Yeah,

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but let's let's talk about let's talk
about the final, actual canonical episode

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of the show. Must the third
pick? Hmm? Son of Dracula,

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Return of the Son of Dracula,
the Una Dracula's Revenge? Is that all

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you can do vampire movies? I'm
afraid that's not good enough. You'd have

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to be a bite more versatile to
be on the fighting staff of Kales from

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the Grip. Hello creeps. As
you can see, we've got an opening

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for a story, Deditor. I've
been conducting chop interviews all morning. No

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one seems to get what I'm looking
for. Oh well, let's see who's

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naked? Interesting? A brother team
grim, I think I've heard of them.

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This has potential boils and goals.
It's a twisted bit of gory telling

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about three characters you may recognize at
first. It's called the third Peak.

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So this is the last time I
get to do this. It's a little

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sad for me. So the the
it is, it is, this has

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been a journey. This has been
If if I had finished this, this

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would have been the first podcast I
finished, not Coal Check. This would

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have wrapped up before Cold Check if
it had been finished, you know,

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when I had started it. So
like this is kind of my like,

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this is my first my podcast to
finish like mine and became ours. I

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mean, obviously I don't have this
podcast is no, no, no,

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this podcast is as much yours as
his mind because my opinion is a little

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bit more positive sometimes than yours is, but your opinions a little bit more

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positive than mine is sometimes. So
yeah, we balanced each other out.

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And I couldn't do this by myself. I would hate to do podcasting by

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myself. But it is it is
a yeah, right, it's really fun.

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But yeah, So it's just a
little sad because you know, this

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last time I get to talk about
who directed it? So who directed it?

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Bill cop Patrick Ventura. It's written
by Steve dud and Bill copp.

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It has a bunch of voices in
it. Bobcat Goldthwaite is one of them,

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Cam Clark, Charlie Adler, Brad
Garrett, Corey Burton. Everybody loves

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Brad Garrett. I do love Brad
Garrett. But he's good. He's really

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seem just see him in the newest
season of Penny Dreadful City of Angels.

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He played like a like a Jewish
gangster and he was great. And not

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only that, if go back and
watch if you haven't seen it, there

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was a Showtime series it only ran
for two seasons called I'm Dying up Here

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about the La comedy scene in the
mid to late seventies, and he plays

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like a sort of Jerry Lewis type
washed out guy, and he's I think

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he's only in it from maybe one
episode, perhaps two, and he's a

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revelation more so than he is on
Everybody Loves Raymond. Yeah, Like because

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you look at him and you you
know that that he can be funny.

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I mean, he's just sort of
naturally that way. But this was not

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a comedic performance. It was a
serious thing and he like fucking nailed it.

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Like I'm now I want to go
watch that as opposed to this because

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anything could be better than this.
But yeah, so so this episode.

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And I'm not joking. I know
if you're listening to this, you probably

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have watched the show. If you're
listening to this, I look either either

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you like the show, have interest
in the show, or just listening to

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this because you like the way our
voices sound, which is a thing.

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Hey you know what that's true in
my kid? Yeah, all three,

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but this is an episode that is
the three little pigs told in the I

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would say Klasky Suspo, but it's
not art style. It's what more,

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I forget the name of the guy
who did rend and Stimpy. Yeah,

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Klasky Supo is as good at depiction
or description of the animation style here.

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I would call it Spike and Mike
fucking reheated special from the Midnight Spike and

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Mike the twisted animation festivals that they
would put out like they were wildly popular,

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sort of in the underground scene,
and I think everyone was trying to

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get a piece of it. But
yeah, definitely rend and Stimpy, like

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you know, would end up setting
the tone for everything and including the sort

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of level of humor on display here, just not as smart I was to

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say, rend and Stimpy is smarter
than this. Oh, like by leagues

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and bounds. This reminds me.
There was a short film, an animated

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film called Lupo the Butcher and if
you haven't seen a Chris you should see

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it. It's probably on YouTube brand. Oh my god, yeah it's then.

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I'm so yeah. I would say
that this entire episode was based on

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these guys seeing that and going we
have to do something like that, except

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Lupo the Butcher is about maybe two
minutes and it is fucking genius and includes

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all of the sort of gross out
kind of humor that these guys were going

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for, but does it eloquently and
economically. I I hated this episode.

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I hate like, oh, I'm
so bummed out. I'm in the same

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camp as you. Yeah right,
I mean, like, look, here's

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the thing, Like we've we have
had such a bone to pick with this

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show doing the same thing over and
over and over, to the point now

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where it's like an in joke in
this podcast, like they're doing it again.

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They're doing it again, and this
is like the first time in a

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long time, almost in like a
season maybe where I'm like, this is

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genuinely fucking bizarre. This is so
weird and it strikes all the right idea

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notes in my mind of like retelling
of a classic story in an interesting way,

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in a subversive way that only Tales
from the Crypt could pull off,

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quote unquote, given it's an anthology
show on paper, on paper, just

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like Communism's perfect Tales from the Crypt
episode, and in action it is.

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It's not the worst, but if
not by a long shot, but it

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feels like it could be. In
the conversation for it, and you know

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what, like we did. I
say this a lot and I'm saying it

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again, but like we because we
watched two episodes usually to evaluate, we

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got very used to comparing episodes.
Now, this is the capper of the

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worst season of the show, without
a doubt, the worst season of the

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show. So by that very nature, it had the potential, even if

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it was competent, Yeah, to
be like a revelation this season. Yeah,

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it's so much a part of what
we've already received that I can't even

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be depressed about it anymore. It's
just like this is and this is like

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and this is the first American,
ostensibly American episode of the season. It's

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the final American episode of the show. We didn't realize that the last we

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I mean, we realized, but
we didn't make a big deal about the

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last episode was the final British episode
of the show. Yeah, but this

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is the this is the final America. This is the final American episode of

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the show. And it's a what
to say, it's a it's a big

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bad Wolf story with the crypt Keeper
as the narrator and bobcat Goldthwaite as the

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big bad Wolf. And I mean
you have Cam Clark and Charlie Adler doing

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kind of you know, generic voices, and Brad Garrett's just kind of doing

218
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a Brad Garrett's doing like a paired
down, like a tone owned down,

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more kind of um kind of drunken, slovenly version of his own voice.

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But you clearly know it's Brad Garrett. Like Brad Garrett and Patrick Warburton are

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some of the only actors where it's
like you hear their voice, you know

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who it is, you know,
I mean, you know you have someone

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like Dame Castle Anetta or Julie Kavner
who their normal voice is kind to sound

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like the characters in the show and
the Simpsons but they can still change it

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enough where you you're maybe if you
ever met them on the street, you'd

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be like, oh hi, you
know, not think anything of it.

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But like Brad Garrett and Patrick Warburton, you have you heard them in a

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store, you would know who it
is if you were if you were bagging

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their groceries and you didn't look up
and you heard thank you, you'd be

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like, fucking, there's Patrick.
There's the tick right there. You know.

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Yeah, they're not they're not versatile
work voice actor. No, but

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that's not a bad us to no, not at all, because their voices

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are so goddamn interesting that no matter
what character they're gonna play, I'm gonna

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buy into it. Yeah, it's
like John Demaggio. It's the same thing.

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You know, he does Bender,
and every other voice that he does

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is nothing like Bender. But I
can hear his voice in every voice that

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00:17:03.759 --> 00:17:07.839
he does. Absolutely, yeah,
absolutely, which you know, God bless

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that he's able to, you know, pitch it in different ways, but

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like, ultimately it's still him.
It's not like mel blank where I'm like,

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00:17:14.680 --> 00:17:18.680
wait he did this and that word
or someone who's involved in this episode,

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00:17:18.759 --> 00:17:21.839
Jim Cummings, who I have the
utmost respect for as I'm sure you

242
00:17:21.880 --> 00:17:25.799
do. He's you know, he
is the voice of what like half of

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00:17:25.799 --> 00:17:30.839
the characters in Winnie the Pooh at
least Winnie the Pooh, right, and

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several other hundred Acre Woods characters.
I mean with Jim Cummings also, I'm

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00:17:34.920 --> 00:17:38.920
trying to just there's so many there's
so many roles that Jim Cummings is known

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00:17:38.920 --> 00:17:44.720
for. He is, again,
one of the pre eminent voice actors in

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00:17:44.759 --> 00:17:48.000
this country, and he gets involved
in this mess. Yeah. God,

248
00:17:48.240 --> 00:17:52.839
I'm such a I'm a huge fan
of voice acting in general, and uh,

249
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you know, and I think everyone
does a creditable job here. It's

250
00:17:56.440 --> 00:18:02.319
just just that, like everything we've
said all season long, the talent behind

251
00:18:02.440 --> 00:18:07.279
the camera in front of the camera
are all done a disservice by a fucking

252
00:18:07.519 --> 00:18:11.759
horrible script. And if this one
in particular, this one drives me crazy

253
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as kind of a writer myself,
in that if you're gonna choose a rhyming

254
00:18:15.079 --> 00:18:21.480
meter that you're gonna have every character
talking, then fucking do it. Don't

255
00:18:21.559 --> 00:18:26.039
dick around and give us half rhymes. And I mean there comes a point

256
00:18:26.039 --> 00:18:27.799
where it's like, well, that
didn't rhyme and that's fine to sort of

257
00:18:27.799 --> 00:18:32.039
break that rule. At that point, it's like, it's like to me,

258
00:18:32.119 --> 00:18:33.240
free verse poetry. It's like,
I'm a poet. I you know,

259
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I write these things. And I'm
like, yeah, okay, write

260
00:18:36.480 --> 00:18:38.640
me a sonnet. You know,
like you need to understand the rules of

261
00:18:38.680 --> 00:18:45.319
the game before you start breaking them, and I want yeah, man,

262
00:18:45.359 --> 00:18:49.599
And it's like it's a children's meter. It's like it's the easiest thing in

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00:18:49.640 --> 00:18:53.480
the world and they couldn't even do
that, they couldn't be bothered to do

264
00:18:53.519 --> 00:18:56.759
it. Yeah, it's really offensive. And then on top, like that's

265
00:18:56.799 --> 00:19:00.920
more offensive to me than what they
thought they were being like, Oh,

266
00:19:00.920 --> 00:19:03.640
we're like, aren't we bad boys? Like we're gonna show violence and you

267
00:19:03.680 --> 00:19:07.000
know this is drinky and smokey,
by the way, creative names for the

268
00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:11.160
fucking pig. Yeah. Well yeah, I mean, okay, so we

269
00:19:11.240 --> 00:19:12.720
got a drunk okay, all right, Well we don't usually see that in

270
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a cartoon. It's like, but
I mean, maybe your average HBO viewer

271
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was not used to that sort of
level of humor and you know, attempt

272
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at depravity in cartoons. But for
the rest of us, and certainly now

273
00:19:27.839 --> 00:19:30.599
if you're watching it for the first
time, like we've had you know,

274
00:19:30.960 --> 00:19:34.920
thirty years since or you know,
twenty five years since this episode naming things

275
00:19:36.039 --> 00:19:38.400
right, Yeah, like there's so
much of it, but at the time

276
00:19:38.480 --> 00:19:42.599
there won that that much of it. But the ones who were doing it,

277
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who were pushing boundaries, you know, people like Bill Plimpton and I

278
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don't know, there's a there's a
ton of I mean, even I mean,

279
00:19:49.079 --> 00:19:52.200
to be fair, even those early
seasons of The Simpsons were pushing the

280
00:19:52.200 --> 00:19:56.960
boundaries. Yeah, you know what, and like more than this is more

281
00:19:56.000 --> 00:20:00.720
than this is because this is one
time the Simpson was sustained. The Simpsons

282
00:20:02.319 --> 00:20:07.319
doing what it did had a long
term effect on our culture, like substantial

283
00:20:07.400 --> 00:20:11.519
effect because they pushed the envelope and
kept pushing and never took their foot off

284
00:20:11.559 --> 00:20:15.799
again. As far as the envelope
pushing. When it comes to like animation,

285
00:20:15.079 --> 00:20:19.279
like I'm not saying it had all
been done and there's always room to

286
00:20:19.319 --> 00:20:23.119
grow, but like Ralph Bacci existed
man and he made a whole bunch of

287
00:20:23.119 --> 00:20:30.119
movies that were animated that if you
think like something could be shocking in like

288
00:20:30.160 --> 00:20:33.839
what's supposed to be a kid's medium, like he had already done it unfairly

289
00:20:33.920 --> 00:20:37.480
labeled as a kid's media. Yeah, I mean, but then you know,

290
00:20:37.519 --> 00:20:40.119
that's all media. You know,
at one point comic books were literally

291
00:20:40.200 --> 00:20:42.160
for children, you know, but
like, but at some point they're not

292
00:20:42.240 --> 00:20:45.000
anymore, and you need to stop
pretending like they are, right, Like

293
00:20:45.160 --> 00:20:48.319
you're you're denying the fact that people
grew up reading them and they want to

294
00:20:48.319 --> 00:20:53.079
continue to. Isn't that like what
all the ESRB MPAA, all these assholes

295
00:20:53.079 --> 00:20:56.480
are just saying, well, this
was a kids thing, but it's not

296
00:20:56.559 --> 00:21:00.359
anymore, so now we have to
make sure that the kids don't see it.

297
00:21:00.960 --> 00:21:03.920
Yeah, right, kind of fucked
up. Yeah, and this sort

298
00:21:03.960 --> 00:21:07.839
of this episode just kind of traffic. Oh, isn't that crazy? There's

299
00:21:07.839 --> 00:21:11.359
blood with animated characters. Not really
right, But and here, like you

300
00:21:11.400 --> 00:21:15.319
said, here's the thing, even
with the hindsight that we have in twenty

301
00:21:15.400 --> 00:21:18.720
twenty one, it still could have
been good. Yeah, it could have

302
00:21:18.720 --> 00:21:22.759
been great. You know, there's
Bobcat Goldway returning in this fucking show,

303
00:21:22.839 --> 00:21:25.720
guys, and you fucked it up, and you fucked it up. You

304
00:21:25.839 --> 00:21:30.279
fucked up, Bobcat. What are
you doing? Bobcat Goldwine never heard anybody.

305
00:21:30.759 --> 00:21:33.599
It's not like he can you know, uh, sort of improv on

306
00:21:33.599 --> 00:21:37.440
on set in this one. Either
it's like there's the thing say these things.

307
00:21:37.480 --> 00:21:40.559
John Cassier is in this episode.
Two. John Cassier is in this

308
00:21:40.599 --> 00:21:44.200
whole episode, right, like,
so it should be a Swan song if

309
00:21:44.240 --> 00:21:45.920
you know? Okay? You know
what's even more crazy to me, there's

310
00:21:45.920 --> 00:21:49.920
a there's a moment in this episode
where they go and then the morning came,

311
00:21:51.359 --> 00:21:52.599
And I thought to myself, I
was like, and you couldn't have

312
00:21:52.640 --> 00:21:56.240
said then came the dawn? Yeah
right, why not? I mean,

313
00:21:56.279 --> 00:21:59.759
like really, why not turn this
episode into like a love letter to the

314
00:21:59.799 --> 00:22:03.400
face ends in the show in a
way too? Motherfucker's this is seven seasons

315
00:22:03.440 --> 00:22:06.759
of a show. You do have
people. Look, there are still people

316
00:22:06.960 --> 00:22:11.000
now who have taken umbridge with our
opinions in twenty twenty one about the show.

317
00:22:11.079 --> 00:22:15.279
Yeah, you're still out there.
You still hate people hating on the

318
00:22:15.319 --> 00:22:18.119
show. If you can't let us
be critical of the show, they can't

319
00:22:18.200 --> 00:22:22.359
make any more show because they're just
gonna come back with this shit again.

320
00:22:23.000 --> 00:22:26.319
What do you think? I'm not
Shamalan was gonna come back with it was

321
00:22:26.319 --> 00:22:30.160
gonna be Twilight Zone twenty nineteen.
Yeah, it wasn't gonna be good.

322
00:22:30.240 --> 00:22:33.559
It's gonna be love triangles. As
far I can see, it was gonna

323
00:22:33.680 --> 00:22:37.039
No, it's not gonna be love
triangles. It's gonna be twist endings.

324
00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:40.240
Yeah, the twist. The most
important part of the tales in the crypt

325
00:22:40.359 --> 00:22:45.039
comic book we all know is the
twist, and not the inherent horror of

326
00:22:45.079 --> 00:22:48.359
the situation or the story that's being
told up until that point, or the

327
00:22:48.440 --> 00:22:52.240
characters of the dialogue or anything else. It's only the twist. Thanks.

328
00:22:52.519 --> 00:22:56.279
And you know, here's here's another
example where they it's animated, you can

329
00:22:56.319 --> 00:23:00.640
do literally anything, right, I
mean, yeah, like, here's the

330
00:23:00.920 --> 00:23:04.400
entire world at your fingertips. What
do you want to do with it.

331
00:23:06.039 --> 00:23:08.480
Well, it's a horror show,
but let's not make it horror. Well,

332
00:23:08.519 --> 00:23:12.240
let's just sort of run around with
the tropes of horror, you know,

333
00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:18.440
which is I think sort of illustrative
of the entire series, where you

334
00:23:18.440 --> 00:23:22.519
know, as long as there's some
blood and possible nudity and some things like

335
00:23:22.599 --> 00:23:26.279
that. Yeah, because that's what
horror fans will do. And you know

336
00:23:26.359 --> 00:23:30.799
what, I'm one of them,
and they're right. Unfortunately, like I.

337
00:23:30.680 --> 00:23:32.279
I you know, they're right.
I mean, they're right, but

338
00:23:32.279 --> 00:23:33.960
they're not. I'm not gonna I'm
not gonna revel in it. Yeah I

339
00:23:34.000 --> 00:23:37.559
know, but they're right, but
they're not because you're sitting here complaining about

340
00:23:37.599 --> 00:23:38.640
it. But yet, you know
you like it. I know, I

341
00:23:38.680 --> 00:23:41.440
like the genre, and I know
I like when it's done well, and

342
00:23:41.599 --> 00:23:45.519
I think there's ways to be even
sort of tongue in cheek about it that

343
00:23:45.839 --> 00:23:51.480
doesn't feel insulting as a horror show. This and this is an affront.

344
00:23:51.519 --> 00:23:53.880
This episode is in affront. This
whole season has kind of been real bad.

345
00:23:55.200 --> 00:23:57.160
It's a perfect cap for the season. I guess, like I like

346
00:23:57.279 --> 00:24:07.880
you, like I've enjoyed you about
no derailed. I comma like you,

347
00:24:07.960 --> 00:24:11.119
comma, I've enjoyed talking about this
show. And you know, I'm a

348
00:24:11.119 --> 00:24:15.319
little sad that there's no more to
talk about. But at the same time,

349
00:24:17.079 --> 00:24:21.359
this season has been a trial.
Yeah, it's broken me. It

350
00:24:21.519 --> 00:24:25.480
kind of has to the point where
you know, we're gonna do a wrap

351
00:24:25.599 --> 00:24:26.720
up here soon and you know,
talk about the series on a hole.

352
00:24:26.799 --> 00:24:30.960
But but like, I don't like
it's sitting on my shelf now and I'm

353
00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:33.000
just like no, not again,
never again, you know what I mean?

354
00:24:33.160 --> 00:24:37.519
Like and I this is a show
that, you know, maybe not

355
00:24:37.599 --> 00:24:40.200
every year, but every couple of
years, I pull out sort of like

356
00:24:40.480 --> 00:24:42.319
wade through the ones I remember liking. You know, we should do like

357
00:24:42.480 --> 00:24:47.599
five years from now is do like
a we're back for one episode and one

358
00:24:47.599 --> 00:24:49.480
episode only to be like, we
watched a couple of the episodes we liked

359
00:24:49.519 --> 00:24:53.000
and didn't like, and what are
our thoughts now? Do you think our

360
00:24:53.039 --> 00:24:57.680
opinions would be different? No?
I think on some of the halfway in

361
00:24:57.720 --> 00:25:02.519
between halfway horrible ones, halfway horrible
or whatever the fuck that episode was called,

362
00:25:03.160 --> 00:25:06.160
I think I think we might change
our opinions a little bit more.

363
00:25:06.200 --> 00:25:07.839
But yeah, some of like some
of the ones that have been bad have

364
00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:15.839
been so definitively bad, so like
glaringly like they took a huge like fucking

365
00:25:15.039 --> 00:25:18.079
poker with a period on it and
slammed it into your forehead bad. It's

366
00:25:18.119 --> 00:25:22.039
like this is period bad, like
bad with a capital B. If we

367
00:25:22.079 --> 00:25:27.079
took the sort of ones that I
sort of, yeah, it would be

368
00:25:27.079 --> 00:25:30.880
an interesting experiment. If it was
shows from the first couple of seasons where

369
00:25:32.160 --> 00:25:36.119
you had some heavy hitters and again
by comparison, I was like, this

370
00:25:36.160 --> 00:25:41.119
one was garbage. Like I could
see reevaluating some of those, like the

371
00:25:41.119 --> 00:25:44.880
the Amanda Plumber one. I did
not like that. Come back to me,

372
00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:47.200
I might, I might like it
if I rewatched it. That or

373
00:25:47.240 --> 00:25:49.000
the Christmas one, the Santa Claus
one. Yeah, that one. You

374
00:25:49.000 --> 00:25:52.799
should through the house, right.
I'm still not gonna let me leave that

375
00:25:52.839 --> 00:25:56.680
one down. That was three years
ago about Oh, I'm not trying to

376
00:25:56.920 --> 00:26:00.319
make you feel bad, except you
know it makes you dumb. Yeah,

377
00:26:00.359 --> 00:26:03.680
your opinions wrong or it stuck.
I was waiting for it. There's always

378
00:26:03.680 --> 00:26:07.839
the butt. Yeah. But to
your point though, like I genuinely liked

379
00:26:08.000 --> 00:26:12.079
talking about this show obviously, I've
been talking about it for damn near six

380
00:26:12.160 --> 00:26:15.519
years now. It's look, it
was. It was a show that a

381
00:26:15.640 --> 00:26:19.359
girl that I liked in college.
I bought her the entire box set.

382
00:26:19.400 --> 00:26:22.799
Wow, you know it was.
It was like twenty bucks, bro,

383
00:26:22.880 --> 00:26:26.359
get the fuck out of it,
like twenty thirty bucks. It was really

384
00:26:26.440 --> 00:26:29.279
cheap on Amazon. It was like
one of those like red Bucks or gold

385
00:26:29.279 --> 00:26:32.000
Box deals. Bro. Yeah,
it was a two thousand and eleven.

386
00:26:32.599 --> 00:26:36.480
I've been buying them piecemeal, like
a sucker or yeah, or buying them

387
00:26:36.480 --> 00:26:38.359
at all. I don't know why
you would be giving HBO money given that

388
00:26:38.440 --> 00:26:41.480
they don't give a shit about this
show. Oh no, I stole them

389
00:26:41.480 --> 00:26:48.599
all from the My look, no
that's not that's not true library. Your

390
00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:52.119
library that was stocking jails from the
crypt. Oh my god, what app

391
00:26:52.640 --> 00:26:56.400
It's a sort of weird universe where
the library actually stocks things you want to

392
00:26:56.400 --> 00:27:03.319
watch. Oh they do, my
you know they have Jels, mccryptire No

393
00:27:03.400 --> 00:27:10.559
Man on DVD. There's I gotta
say, the Las Vegas Library system,

394
00:27:11.559 --> 00:27:19.039
while um, maybe not providing the
level of books the library should be,

395
00:27:19.880 --> 00:27:26.559
uh sort of you know, supplying
Uh, their DVD section is quite robots,

396
00:27:26.599 --> 00:27:29.400
you know what they say. The
people who live in the sewers underneath

397
00:27:29.440 --> 00:27:32.519
Las Vegas, they have DVD players, but they don't have light, so

398
00:27:32.559 --> 00:27:34.720
they can't read at night. But
they can watch things, right, you

399
00:27:34.759 --> 00:27:37.400
can watch it. But you know, the argument can be made that if

400
00:27:37.400 --> 00:27:41.839
you would just turn the brightness up
on your television you could probably read it's

401
00:27:41.880 --> 00:27:48.480
true. But again it's I don't
know what's more disappointing for me about this

402
00:27:48.519 --> 00:27:53.039
episode is it that it's the final
episode of the show. Actually, yeah,

403
00:27:53.119 --> 00:27:57.400
like no, it's not that.
It's just a fucking atrocious episode where

404
00:27:59.319 --> 00:28:02.720
it's Yeah, I don't even know
what they were trying to do with it,

405
00:28:02.759 --> 00:28:06.480
honestly, other than all I can
wrap my head around is they thought,

406
00:28:06.759 --> 00:28:10.920
were you know, we're sort of
pushing an envelope or like, you

407
00:28:10.960 --> 00:28:17.279
know, we're like transgressing somehow Grim's
fairy Tales, dude. Yeah, And

408
00:28:17.480 --> 00:28:21.359
the thing is, you could not
be an animator at this point in history

409
00:28:21.400 --> 00:28:30.400
and not have had access to the
actual button pushing transgressive cinema that was being

410
00:28:30.440 --> 00:28:34.640
made in like every you know,
senior thesis class across the United States.

411
00:28:34.680 --> 00:28:40.759
Like like you they they had seen
all of them, and instead of like

412
00:28:41.000 --> 00:28:45.039
trying to top them, they just
kind of like you know, skated by

413
00:28:45.319 --> 00:28:51.119
on the more surface things about those
I don't know. I don't want to

414
00:28:51.119 --> 00:28:52.920
speak for the filmmakers here or anything, but like, shame on you guys

415
00:28:52.960 --> 00:28:57.079
for blowing an opportunity. Do you
want to hear a piece of information that

416
00:28:57.240 --> 00:29:02.359
is insane to me? If it's
true? Yeah. Jess Harnell was initially

417
00:29:02.400 --> 00:29:06.680
cast as the narrator of this episode
in a Ringo star style voice. For

418
00:29:06.759 --> 00:29:10.880
this episode would have made it better. But Joel Silver, although he liked

419
00:29:10.880 --> 00:29:14.359
what Jess Harnell had done, said
it really should be the crypt Keeper narrative,

420
00:29:14.480 --> 00:29:18.480
which is shocking to me because I'm
flabbergasted at as a matter of fact

421
00:29:18.559 --> 00:29:22.559
that anyone was still involved at that
level. Right, Yeah, Well,

422
00:29:22.640 --> 00:29:26.039
Jesse Arnall is great. I mean, he's he plays Whacko in The Antimaniacs.

423
00:29:26.559 --> 00:29:30.960
He's he's a great I mean that
the Waco character in the Antimaniacs is

424
00:29:32.039 --> 00:29:33.960
kind of a Ringo star thing.
Yeah, it is. It totally is,

425
00:29:34.000 --> 00:29:37.359
and like if you want, once
you hear it, you can't unhear

426
00:29:37.359 --> 00:29:41.680
it. Yeah, right, Like
it's it's so obviously Ringo star and like

427
00:29:41.720 --> 00:29:45.839
if he was doing like that voice, it might have worked. But like

428
00:29:45.960 --> 00:29:49.440
again no, no, no,
nothing was going to say, but no,

429
00:29:49.519 --> 00:29:52.519
but yeah, again, like even
the fact that you do instead of

430
00:29:52.559 --> 00:29:56.640
having him do it, you do
have John Cassir do it. It's not

431
00:29:56.680 --> 00:30:00.960
a step down. I mean it's
a lateral move. It's one untalented passed

432
00:30:00.960 --> 00:30:04.319
off to another and should have fomented
it. In fact. Yeah, if

433
00:30:04.400 --> 00:30:08.039
anything, that move should have made
the episode better because we got the crypt

434
00:30:08.079 --> 00:30:14.240
Keeper and it does na, it
doesn't at all. And that's the weird

435
00:30:14.359 --> 00:30:18.359
thing to me, is like you
would think having John Cassir in this episode

436
00:30:18.359 --> 00:30:21.640
would make it feel like kind of
a send off, like this is kind

437
00:30:21.640 --> 00:30:22.960
of a big deal, Like it's
kind of nuts that, like, here's

438
00:30:23.000 --> 00:30:26.559
the show. It's going out on
this wacky animated episode, Like isn't that

439
00:30:26.640 --> 00:30:30.599
kind of crazy? It's kind of
fun. And then it's like no,

440
00:30:30.680 --> 00:30:33.720
it's just it's just a complete drag. And you know it takes about it

441
00:30:33.759 --> 00:30:37.640
probably a year, you know,
to do an animated thing. So it's

442
00:30:37.759 --> 00:30:42.559
my feeling. Oh god, Anyway, I'm pretty sure they probably meant this

443
00:30:42.640 --> 00:30:48.160
for the previous season, and then
once they realized that, I think yeah,

444
00:30:48.200 --> 00:30:51.160
and I think once they've realized that
they were getting another season, they

445
00:30:51.160 --> 00:30:52.680
thought like, oh, well,
just we can we don't have to rush

446
00:30:52.759 --> 00:30:56.319
to get it done. Let me
tell you something. If they knew this

447
00:30:56.400 --> 00:31:02.119
is the last season and they wanted
this as their end off and didn't try

448
00:31:02.119 --> 00:31:06.960
and do an episode that was the
craziest and all of the characters in all

449
00:31:07.000 --> 00:31:10.799
of the situations and everything, and
like here it all is give it,

450
00:31:10.920 --> 00:31:14.359
give the audience what they want.
Yeah, you're not gonna do a Tales

451
00:31:14.359 --> 00:31:17.720
from the Crypt story anyways. They
literally didn't do a Tales from the Crypt

452
00:31:17.720 --> 00:31:22.319
story anyways, and the series they
didn't original. Yeah, makes sense.

453
00:31:22.440 --> 00:31:26.359
It kind of feels like the biggest
kick in the cock of all, like

454
00:31:26.440 --> 00:31:30.000
the ultimate, Like it's just and
they're just squaring up with your dick and

455
00:31:30.039 --> 00:31:33.359
they just kick your dick right the
tips so hard, and that's what this

456
00:31:33.400 --> 00:31:36.599
feels like. This feels like the
ultimate in dick kick because it's like,

457
00:31:37.279 --> 00:31:41.559
no, it's because you you haven't
adapted the show most of the fucking show

458
00:31:41.599 --> 00:31:45.920
it. You haven't adapted the source
material most of the time. Anyways,

459
00:31:45.319 --> 00:31:51.240
they were doing you know, shock
suspense and two fisted fucking tails and other

460
00:31:51.240 --> 00:31:52.839
shit. It's like, and now
you're gonna do an original and it's not

461
00:31:52.920 --> 00:31:59.440
even gonna be like a crypt Keeper
original story or a story with characters from

462
00:31:59.480 --> 00:32:04.240
the other episod So it's like,
no, it's just the most bullshit Grimm's

463
00:32:04.319 --> 00:32:07.799
fairy tale for the you know,
the hip nineties, we don't give a

464
00:32:07.880 --> 00:32:10.640
fuck era and it doesn't even work. There should have been a you got

465
00:32:10.640 --> 00:32:14.839
mail joke in this fucking episode,
and it would have been It would have

466
00:32:14.880 --> 00:32:19.000
been perfect. It would have been
like this is the quintessential nineties mid nineties

467
00:32:19.000 --> 00:32:22.559
bullshit. Yeah, nalk to the
hand like we're that We're that close.

468
00:32:22.599 --> 00:32:25.759
We're that close, we really are. Yeah. Didn't like the character designed,

469
00:32:25.759 --> 00:32:29.160
didn't like the writing, didn't like
the animation style. You know,

470
00:32:29.319 --> 00:32:31.039
did the animation. Do you know
who did the animation? The same company

471
00:32:31.079 --> 00:32:35.240
that did Tales from the Cript Keeper. Oh yeah, I'm sure, but

472
00:32:35.640 --> 00:32:39.039
that was at least the character's designs
were better, like you know that they

473
00:32:39.079 --> 00:32:43.039
were at the Crypt Keeper. No, but you know, what are you

474
00:32:43.079 --> 00:32:46.319
gonna do? It was for kids. Not make him look like a purple

475
00:32:46.480 --> 00:32:51.519
or I guess he's like a green
puddle with a purple cape. Happen?

476
00:32:51.640 --> 00:32:53.640
What are they doing? I don't
know, I don't and that and was

477
00:32:53.680 --> 00:32:57.559
he voiced? Was he voiced by
John Cassire? Yeah, okay, well

478
00:32:57.599 --> 00:33:00.680
this is yeah, I can't remember. I just remember how bad the show

479
00:33:00.799 --> 00:33:04.680
is. You know, once again, the idea that Joel silver like had

480
00:33:04.720 --> 00:33:07.799
a hand in this episode, like
it's it has felt like this was a

481
00:33:07.920 --> 00:33:12.200
rudderless ship for We talked about that
in the last episode. Yeah, two

482
00:33:12.200 --> 00:33:15.839
seasons, so like I'm like,
oh, well, somebody was doing something

483
00:33:15.839 --> 00:33:16.839
like, yeah, look at that. Maybe, but maybe there's that.

484
00:33:17.359 --> 00:33:21.440
I'm gonna take that away as a
positive. Maybe David Guyler was in there

485
00:33:21.440 --> 00:33:25.480
with him making some decisions. I'm
stealing this episode. It's mine. Yeah,

486
00:33:25.559 --> 00:33:28.920
I'm just gonna put my name on
it. It's okay, So I

487
00:33:28.920 --> 00:33:31.319
think we'll be both an agreement.
This episode is a skip. Yeah,

488
00:33:31.359 --> 00:33:36.680
it's it. It's trash. Don't
watch it. It's go watched Lupo the

489
00:33:36.680 --> 00:33:40.200
Butcher. Honestly, everybody, it's
fucking watch anything else. Yeah, So,

490
00:33:40.720 --> 00:33:43.880
Father Malone, we're about to do
what we're about to do, the

491
00:33:43.880 --> 00:33:45.559
whole show wrap up. Yes,
but before we do that, we have

492
00:33:45.640 --> 00:33:52.480
to talk about season seven. Okay, which of the season seven episodes might

493
00:33:52.720 --> 00:33:58.079
you revisit? That's how we're ranking
this one none none Yeah, I mean

494
00:33:59.119 --> 00:34:02.880
zero zero zero zero is a pretty
big number. Yeah. Let me let

495
00:34:02.920 --> 00:34:07.799
me actually like sort of think about
it. Yeah, no, none zero,

496
00:34:07.839 --> 00:34:10.639
I'm good. That was that really, It's yeah, it's only going

497
00:34:10.679 --> 00:34:16.159
to kind of disappoint me further knowing
the talent involved. Like I was excited

498
00:34:16.280 --> 00:34:21.480
knowing the talent involved when I went
into it, and all of those hopes

499
00:34:21.519 --> 00:34:23.840
were dashed, so now it'll just
feel like an extra slap in the face.

500
00:34:24.199 --> 00:34:30.639
So to your point, yeah,
Eddie Izard, Yeah, Kieran Hines,

501
00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:34.199
Yes, I almost would say that
episode. Yeah, if you look,

502
00:34:34.199 --> 00:34:36.280
if you put a gun to my
head and said watch one, that's

503
00:34:36.280 --> 00:34:38.000
the one I'm watching. But then
I think about what you just said,

504
00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:42.599
and I don't think it's fair.
Right, It's because it's not. Well,

505
00:34:42.599 --> 00:34:45.519
it's it's not. It's not fair
for two reasons. It's not fair

506
00:34:45.559 --> 00:34:49.199
to that episode because that episode is
a piece of shit. Regardless, it's

507
00:34:49.239 --> 00:34:52.760
still not very good. It's not
a good episode, Like it's not maybe

508
00:34:52.760 --> 00:34:54.599
it's not a piece of shop,
but it's not a good episode. And

509
00:34:54.639 --> 00:34:59.119
it's such a bad episode that if
you put it, if you ranked it

510
00:34:59.159 --> 00:35:04.400
with the other episodes, even from
season six, it drags them down by

511
00:35:04.440 --> 00:35:08.719
association, totally right, And that's
the shame, Yeah, because like those

512
00:35:08.719 --> 00:35:12.639
episodes are, like the episodes of
the season are so bad. They don't

513
00:35:12.920 --> 00:35:15.800
I don't want them to infect the
other show with it. They're like disgusting,

514
00:35:16.440 --> 00:35:22.880
like laxadaisical, procrastination, lazy script
quarantine. Um, what is the

515
00:35:22.920 --> 00:35:30.000
worst episode of this season? The
one report from the grave from the grave

516
00:35:30.039 --> 00:35:35.480
with it made no sense. Um
for me, it's the I don't remember

517
00:35:35.519 --> 00:35:38.000
the title. Sorry, uh,
the the Ewan McGregor episode. Oh,

518
00:35:38.079 --> 00:35:40.960
cold War, Cold War. I
thought you were going to say the Bob

519
00:35:42.039 --> 00:35:45.199
Hoskins one. No, that one's
just offensive. That's one's just yeah.

520
00:35:45.199 --> 00:35:51.920
It's like, man, you know
transsexual killer. No way, that's original

521
00:35:52.159 --> 00:35:58.599
cry Sea. But uh uh,
Like the EU and mcgreggar episode is like,

522
00:35:58.920 --> 00:36:05.960
it makes no sense. It's just
dumb and like the influence of a

523
00:36:06.119 --> 00:36:12.800
post Tarantino world where we think,
like this dialogue characters talking about bullshit in

524
00:36:12.880 --> 00:36:19.199
a super slick and hip way was
a thing and that I can't I will

525
00:36:19.239 --> 00:36:24.679
never watch them again. And to
be fair, like the the novelty of

526
00:36:24.719 --> 00:36:29.440
it is that you know, like
now the novelty is is You and McGregor

527
00:36:29.480 --> 00:36:31.599
episode. Yeah, that's the only
sort of produce. But at the time,

528
00:36:31.679 --> 00:36:35.719
at the time, it wasn't the
novelty because this is pre Training Spotting,

529
00:36:35.840 --> 00:36:37.599
yeah, or I guess it's the
same year as Train Spotting. So

530
00:36:38.039 --> 00:36:42.119
right, So I mean, look, if you want to go back and

531
00:36:42.239 --> 00:36:45.239
see you and McGregor like as a
young man, a young actor, then

532
00:36:45.360 --> 00:36:50.039
definitely go see Shallow Grave or train
Spotting or Transforming. Yeah, but Shallow

533
00:36:50.079 --> 00:36:53.639
Grave probably more. Yeah, I've
never seen Shallow Grave, but probably more

534
00:36:53.800 --> 00:36:58.679
like not only is that episode just
terrible overall, but then you have you

535
00:36:58.760 --> 00:37:05.039
and McGregor doing in America an accent
really poorly, so far ours over there?

536
00:37:05.400 --> 00:37:07.840
He over there, your ass bag, like, oh please stop,

537
00:37:07.960 --> 00:37:13.960
you're come over here so I could
kick your ass. Yeah please. Ewan

538
00:37:14.079 --> 00:37:16.480
McGregor does not he does not do
a good American accent. He might do

539
00:37:16.519 --> 00:37:21.679
one now, but at the time
he sort of fell into the that sort

540
00:37:21.719 --> 00:37:25.199
of British trap of the the the
r over pronunciation. Yeah. It's the

541
00:37:25.239 --> 00:37:30.519
Australians that can do the American accent. They can perfect due. Yeah,

542
00:37:30.559 --> 00:37:32.719
but although you know what, honestly
a lot of English actors now can do

543
00:37:32.719 --> 00:37:36.480
it really well. Yeah. Hugh
Laurie, Man, I still blows my

544
00:37:36.480 --> 00:37:39.760
mind when I found out Hugh Laurie
was British. Yeah, Daniel, Daniel,

545
00:37:40.360 --> 00:37:45.800
I mean he's basically Cockney and uh, and I did for at no

546
00:37:46.000 --> 00:37:51.519
time during that movie get Out we're
talking about, Uh, did I think

547
00:37:51.519 --> 00:37:54.840
he was anything less than Americans?
What's the um? What's the John Boyega

548
00:37:55.559 --> 00:37:59.960
another John Boyega, John Boye.
As much as I don't like those Star

549
00:37:59.880 --> 00:38:06.039
Wars movies, John Boyega's American accent
is better than mine. That's I mean,

550
00:38:06.079 --> 00:38:07.760
that's Isn't that the bar? Like
if you sound more like an American

551
00:38:07.800 --> 00:38:10.960
than I do? Yeah, yeah, I can. I can. I

552
00:38:10.960 --> 00:38:15.800
can be mistaken for Canadian from time
to time. What's the hair that it's

553
00:38:15.840 --> 00:38:19.639
the hair that gives it away?
Is that it's the Canadian hair, that

554
00:38:19.679 --> 00:38:24.079
Canadian, very Canadian hair. Side
it is, I'm off to Canada.

555
00:38:24.800 --> 00:38:29.400
I don't blame you, all right, skip it, skip it hard,

556
00:38:29.440 --> 00:38:31.679
don't watch this, don't watch this
season. Don't watch any of this season

557
00:38:31.719 --> 00:38:35.079
this. Yeah, I think I'm
I think I'm actually with you. I

558
00:38:35.119 --> 00:38:37.960
don't think I want to give I
don't want to. I don't want to

559
00:38:37.960 --> 00:38:40.960
give anyone any reason to watch this
season. Yeah, I mean, if

560
00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:45.239
you go in and think, like, you know what, though there's some

561
00:38:45.360 --> 00:38:49.719
good people, it's not as bad
as I've heard. Yeah. If you're

562
00:38:49.760 --> 00:38:54.960
a completist, like you love Kieran
Hines so much you have to see everything

563
00:38:55.039 --> 00:38:59.119
he's done, then go watch the
Cook, the Thief, his wife and

564
00:38:59.159 --> 00:39:01.159
her lover. Because he's a young
man, in that and he's unrecognizable.

565
00:39:01.320 --> 00:39:06.400
It's a great movie. Don't watch
this series the season rather though, it's

566
00:39:06.400 --> 00:39:08.719
a trap. And I don't mean
that in a memy way. I mean

567
00:39:08.760 --> 00:39:15.320
it's literally it just it's a frustration. Yeah, and ultimate it'll leave you

568
00:39:15.360 --> 00:39:20.760
aching with hunger for good stuff?
Yeah? Do you do you remember with

569
00:39:20.880 --> 00:39:23.440
the less? So I want to
point something out that's funny, So imagine

570
00:39:23.519 --> 00:39:28.880
this season wasn't imagine this two scenarios
we were kind of talking about the first

571
00:39:28.880 --> 00:39:34.559
one at the beginning. Imagine if
this season had had not existed. Yeah,

572
00:39:34.599 --> 00:39:37.159
do you remember what the show would
have ended on? An equally fucking

573
00:39:37.280 --> 00:39:43.280
crazy episode? Which one you murder? Oh you murderer? Yeah? Yeah,

574
00:39:43.360 --> 00:39:45.559
yeah, yeah, Okay, let's
let's ask ourselves. It's now that

575
00:39:45.559 --> 00:39:47.840
we're at the end of the show. Yea, would that have been a

576
00:39:47.880 --> 00:39:52.320
better ending for the show? Or
does this show deserve this season? Seven?

577
00:39:52.559 --> 00:39:57.760
No show deserved the final season of
Tales from the Crypt? Is this

578
00:39:57.840 --> 00:40:00.960
last season of Tales from the Crypt
worse than the worst season of TV you've

579
00:40:00.960 --> 00:40:05.599
ever seen? Because I have a
show that's worse than this one you and

580
00:40:05.679 --> 00:40:09.880
you'll probably defend it because you're a
motherfucker. Sometimes what season of the Shame

581
00:40:09.960 --> 00:40:14.440
of Thrones? Oh, and I
don't know about that. This this is

582
00:40:14.840 --> 00:40:19.119
just this is as bad. But
no, I don't know about that.

583
00:40:19.360 --> 00:40:22.440
This is much worse. This is
much worse. There were there were moments

584
00:40:22.559 --> 00:40:25.920
of the final season that I really
enjoyed of Game of Thrones, even if

585
00:40:25.920 --> 00:40:30.840
you think, like in the end
it didn't amount to anything, um there

586
00:40:30.920 --> 00:40:36.079
was to say here didn't amount to
a hillobeans. I don't like to say

587
00:40:36.079 --> 00:40:40.000
that. No, I like,
okay, you said that wasn't amount Is

588
00:40:40.039 --> 00:40:43.760
it the worst season? No,
it's I don't think it's the worst season

589
00:40:43.760 --> 00:40:45.559
of any I mean, for me, if I had to pick a season

590
00:40:45.559 --> 00:40:51.039
at television where I just go fuck
you, that is the third season of

591
00:40:51.079 --> 00:40:53.880
the television series Millennium, that Chris
Carter show. And they were going to

592
00:40:53.960 --> 00:40:59.719
say the third season of Dexter.
No, they were looking for freebo yeah

593
00:41:00.119 --> 00:41:07.920
bo uibo. May the worst season
of Dexter is still a thousand times better

594
00:41:08.000 --> 00:41:14.519
than this season of Telsma script it's
it's unfor it's unforgivable. It's unforgivable.

595
00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:17.039
Well, and I think is it
because of is it? Is it because

596
00:41:17.079 --> 00:41:21.039
of the hill like the mountain that
it fell off, because like that's the

597
00:41:21.039 --> 00:41:23.360
thing, right, like, because
yeah, is that not? The issue

598
00:41:23.360 --> 00:41:29.519
with TV in general is if the
show is good and becomes bad, Unlike

599
00:41:29.519 --> 00:41:32.039
a good or bad movie. A
good movie is kind of probably good throughout,

600
00:41:32.119 --> 00:41:36.119
maybe has some shitty moments, but
it's still only two hours. A

601
00:41:36.199 --> 00:41:38.960
TV show is like fifty sixty seventy
hours of TV, and when it's bad,

602
00:41:39.000 --> 00:41:44.199
it's like a sustained bad for like, I mean, this is what

603
00:41:44.639 --> 00:41:47.880
ten hours of TV that's bad?
We watched ten hours of just or I

604
00:41:47.880 --> 00:41:52.320
guess like more like five hours of
just like sustained garbage. Yeah, you

605
00:41:52.360 --> 00:41:55.039
know, and uh, to sort
of answer your earlier question, like if

606
00:41:55.239 --> 00:42:00.639
the last episode of the entire series
had been You Murderer, I would have

607
00:42:00.719 --> 00:42:06.599
been left with a notion like it's
a shame they didn't get to go out

608
00:42:07.360 --> 00:42:12.880
and style right, and this season
only tells me that they had no interest

609
00:42:12.920 --> 00:42:15.199
in doing that. I want to
say, what they clearly didn't care about

610
00:42:15.239 --> 00:42:20.960
that. Yeah, so one iota. Yeah, I mean they went out

611
00:42:21.000 --> 00:42:24.719
on an original animated episode. You
know. It's funny because knowing we were

612
00:42:24.719 --> 00:42:27.920
going to be doing sort of a
wrap up here, I'd like tried to

613
00:42:27.920 --> 00:42:30.880
make a list of favorite and least
favorite episodes in the series. In the

614
00:42:31.000 --> 00:42:36.119
least favorite category is your Murderer,
Like it's one of them, so really

615
00:42:36.320 --> 00:42:43.280
yeah, um, only because of
its pedigree, like everyone there should have

616
00:42:43.280 --> 00:42:45.639
known better? Um well and yeah, given, yeah, what was it?

617
00:42:45.679 --> 00:42:51.239
Walter Hill? No, no,
Zamachus, Zamachus? Who was who

618
00:42:51.280 --> 00:42:57.079
was high on fucking digital manipulation?
Thanks to thanks to Forrest Gump, Let's

619
00:42:57.119 --> 00:43:01.199
do a whole twenty minute show about
that. I can say that I directed

620
00:43:01.480 --> 00:43:07.280
Humphrey Bogart. Yeah no, yeah, and that they see that's sure,

621
00:43:07.400 --> 00:43:09.360
can can't you? That's another part
of it that the you know sit of

622
00:43:09.440 --> 00:43:15.400
Rankles why I put it a slowdown
on the list. But you know what,

623
00:43:15.760 --> 00:43:20.800
it would have been a bad episode
in a not great season and perfectly

624
00:43:20.840 --> 00:43:23.280
fitting for the end of the show. Um, definitely better than what we

625
00:43:23.360 --> 00:43:28.760
ended up getting, because at least
that had promised like there's you know,

626
00:43:28.880 --> 00:43:30.360
like oh, if they'd only just
done this or that, it could have

627
00:43:30.360 --> 00:43:35.239
been really good. I didn't at
no point this season that I that I

628
00:43:35.239 --> 00:43:37.480
think like, oh, that could
have been better, other than every one

629
00:43:37.480 --> 00:43:39.719
of them should have been better.
Yeah, And again. I mean,

630
00:43:39.760 --> 00:43:44.079
given the pedigree of some of the
people involved, they should have been.

631
00:43:44.320 --> 00:43:47.440
Yeah, this season is such a
drag, dude, I do not like

632
00:43:47.599 --> 00:43:52.880
it. It's debilitating levels of depression
of how bad this like, it's it's

633
00:43:52.920 --> 00:43:55.519
so bad that you're just like,
I never want to watch the show again.

634
00:43:55.760 --> 00:44:00.320
Yeah. You know, there was
a book by Albert A. Move

635
00:44:00.400 --> 00:44:05.320
called The Plague where he wanted to
pausit the idea that evil isn't flashy and

636
00:44:05.400 --> 00:44:09.480
fun, it's actually slow and debilitating
over time. So he wrote a slow

637
00:44:09.519 --> 00:44:14.519
and debilitating novel and I always,
I always rankled at that, like why

638
00:44:14.559 --> 00:44:16.920
did you make like you could have
proved your point without actually boring me?

639
00:44:17.519 --> 00:44:23.119
And that's what the season feels like. It feels like this insidious like chipping

640
00:44:23.159 --> 00:44:30.119
away of mine intentional. Yeah,
like like you know, we want you

641
00:44:30.199 --> 00:44:31.719
to hate the ship, that's the
thing. You know. If it had

642
00:44:31.719 --> 00:44:37.119
been that, they like were like, we're gonna fucking punish people, and

643
00:44:37.159 --> 00:44:38.960
then they made this season and then
like you find that out afterwards, just

644
00:44:38.960 --> 00:44:43.000
like, oh, you cocksuckers.
But at least there was a forethought to

645
00:44:43.079 --> 00:44:45.639
it, you know what I mean, Like I could at least respect it

646
00:44:45.800 --> 00:44:50.400
instead of just the detritus, like
just here you go, isn't that?

647
00:44:50.440 --> 00:44:52.440
What is that? Essentially what the
dudes from Game of Thrones did is admitted

648
00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:55.599
that they stopped caring about the show
and just wanted the fans to hate it.

649
00:44:55.639 --> 00:44:59.639
Did they say that? I mean, didn't we see that on screen?

650
00:45:00.039 --> 00:45:05.320
Know? Don't fucking come. I
look, clearly those guys were fatigued

651
00:45:05.639 --> 00:45:09.039
and didn't want to They wanted to
finish one season instead of doing another whole

652
00:45:09.079 --> 00:45:13.800
season after that, which is what
would have ameliorated the problems with that show.

653
00:45:13.920 --> 00:45:15.800
Like they said, A rushed to
the end. I do agree with

654
00:45:15.840 --> 00:45:19.920
that, um, And I'm not
defending the season overall. I think it's

655
00:45:20.000 --> 00:45:24.400
pretty bad. But um, particularly
the characterization of Denis Targarian, like I

656
00:45:24.480 --> 00:45:28.800
have, dude, I have no
problem with that character going nuts and fucking

657
00:45:28.960 --> 00:45:31.559
turning into a tyrant like it,
do it? But do it not in

658
00:45:31.599 --> 00:45:35.639
the last season of the show.
Yeah, man, don't go from the

659
00:45:35.679 --> 00:45:40.639
reigning like revolutionary that we need to
the other thing like in the blink of

660
00:45:40.679 --> 00:45:44.320
an eye, like you, well, you lost a dragon. I guess

661
00:45:44.320 --> 00:45:49.159
that'll push you over the edge.
But before we before we're gonna keep expanding

662
00:45:49.159 --> 00:45:51.519
out in scale of the show.
So we've talked a little bit about that.

663
00:45:51.760 --> 00:45:55.679
Yeah, what is what is the
best season of the show? Mm?

664
00:45:57.400 --> 00:46:01.000
Wow, Uh, it's not the
first season, but the first season

665
00:46:01.079 --> 00:46:06.320
has the best episode. It does, but the first season is too short

666
00:46:06.360 --> 00:46:08.840
to be the best season. Yeah
it is. Um, there's like what

667
00:46:09.000 --> 00:46:13.199
six episodes? Six episodes? First
season? I think I have my answer,

668
00:46:13.280 --> 00:46:15.079
and I'm curious if my answer and
your answer the same. It's probably

669
00:46:15.119 --> 00:46:20.119
two season. Yeah, oh yeah, season two for sure, Season two

670
00:46:20.159 --> 00:46:23.760
where everyone sort of realized the potential
from season one and we're striving toward it.

671
00:46:23.960 --> 00:46:28.239
Three's a crowd? Three Yeah,
I mean it looked cutting cards.

672
00:46:28.320 --> 00:46:30.360
If you would put three a crowd
in this in season seven, I might

673
00:46:30.400 --> 00:46:35.280
be saying season seven's best season because
now it's that good. I think so

674
00:46:35.480 --> 00:46:38.800
it is good. He regardless of
what our friend Mike White says, Yeah,

675
00:46:38.880 --> 00:46:44.599
yeah, um yeah, well no, that the only person who ever

676
00:46:44.599 --> 00:46:46.880
guessed it on this entire show.
Did he not like three is a crowd?

677
00:46:46.960 --> 00:46:51.280
No, he wasn't on three a
crowd. He did cutting cutting Cards,

678
00:46:51.280 --> 00:46:52.519
which is a good episode. I
guess did we have Jess on the

679
00:46:52.519 --> 00:46:57.519
show. I think so. Did
we have her on the Bonus ship with

680
00:46:57.880 --> 00:47:00.159
Yeah, it was. It was
the Creep Show if I remember that?

681
00:47:00.039 --> 00:47:05.519
Man, oh man, did you
watch that new season's garbage? Um,

682
00:47:05.679 --> 00:47:07.440
Jess told me all about how bad
it was. It's real. It's like

683
00:47:07.519 --> 00:47:13.320
fans service bullshit, Like it's the
first episode. Why are we talking about

684
00:47:13.320 --> 00:47:17.239
it anyway? Though? I want
don't talk about no, talk about it.

685
00:47:17.360 --> 00:47:21.000
Yeah, we're not. You're not
gonna get another chance like one other

686
00:47:21.000 --> 00:47:23.239
show. I mean, if you
watch the original movie Creep Show that there's

687
00:47:23.239 --> 00:47:28.199
a rap around segment with Tom Atkins
and young Joe King where it's you know,

688
00:47:28.199 --> 00:47:31.559
the sort of gruff father who throws
his comic book away and stop reading

689
00:47:31.559 --> 00:47:37.119
these these dirty megs. Yeah,
like uh and and at the end you

690
00:47:37.199 --> 00:47:39.559
discovered that the kid has sent away
for a voodoo doll and he's using it

691
00:47:39.599 --> 00:47:43.559
on his father, like so he
gets revenge through the comic and it's like

692
00:47:43.880 --> 00:47:47.000
it's it's you know, it takes
maybe three minutes entirely. Now, let's

693
00:47:47.000 --> 00:47:51.840
take that three minutes and spin it
out to a full half hour, oh

694
00:47:51.920 --> 00:47:55.519
god, because that's all it is. It's kids. Surrogate father doesn't like

695
00:47:55.599 --> 00:48:01.119
the horror and thinks the kids a
freak and we spend you know, half

696
00:48:01.119 --> 00:48:07.440
hour degradation of like which I'm sure
every horror fan has experienced that, you

697
00:48:07.480 --> 00:48:09.480
know, like when you bump up
against people who don't like it, they're

698
00:48:09.519 --> 00:48:14.480
sort of like violently don't like it, um, but I don't get it,

699
00:48:15.000 --> 00:48:19.039
yeah, Like there must be something
wrong with you for liking this kind

700
00:48:19.079 --> 00:48:22.039
of a thing. Yeah, because
they couldn't conceive of liking any of it

701
00:48:22.119 --> 00:48:27.920
so perverse, something so perverse and
disgusting, like horror on screen. But

702
00:48:27.960 --> 00:48:30.000
I'll watch you know, CNN and
everything else, right, and they cannot

703
00:48:30.039 --> 00:48:32.960
conceive of their own mortality, which
is sort of what we're all doing,

704
00:48:34.199 --> 00:48:37.159
like you know what I mean,
Like I know, I'm there with you.

705
00:48:37.199 --> 00:48:40.559
We're all we're all like, you
know, acclimating our systems to the

706
00:48:40.599 --> 00:48:45.280
poison. You know, I'm with
you. Yeah. So the creep show

707
00:48:45.360 --> 00:48:51.280
thing like that's they made a half
hour version of that wrap around and people

708
00:48:51.320 --> 00:48:52.760
are like losing their minds over that's
the other thing. Like, and I

709
00:48:52.840 --> 00:48:55.880
find myself, you know, sort
of reacting to the reaction more than the

710
00:48:55.880 --> 00:48:59.639
thing itself, like because the thing
itself was just like it's okay, it's

711
00:48:59.679 --> 00:49:02.480
okay, it's not worthy of creep
show. I really wish you would just

712
00:49:02.480 --> 00:49:07.360
call the show something else. But
when I see fans can't make money,

713
00:49:07.480 --> 00:49:12.280
oh my god. This is such
a delight, this examination of young horror

714
00:49:12.320 --> 00:49:15.039
fans. It's like there have been
tons of those and they've been done skillfully.

715
00:49:15.360 --> 00:49:19.159
Don't settle for this, Like you
ever heard a Monster Squad, my

716
00:49:19.199 --> 00:49:23.760
guys, Yeah, or you know
a Fright Night or Friday Thirteenth part four,

717
00:49:24.119 --> 00:49:30.000
or you know, there's anything by
Joe Dante pretty much. So there's

718
00:49:30.039 --> 00:49:34.559
ways to sort of call back to
those kids and you know who we used

719
00:49:34.559 --> 00:49:37.119
to be as young people. And
you know, maybe these people never had

720
00:49:37.159 --> 00:49:38.559
a nostalgia for it and they're getting
it for the first time, and God

721
00:49:38.559 --> 00:49:42.440
bless them. But like creep Show
is bad, man, it's just bad.

722
00:49:42.679 --> 00:49:44.679
Anyway, let's talk to us from
the Crypt show. Well, here's

723
00:49:44.679 --> 00:49:46.800
a question. Here's a question.
Yeah, if Tales from the Crypt had

724
00:49:46.800 --> 00:49:51.199
come back, do you think it
would be just like that? Yeah?

725
00:49:51.280 --> 00:49:53.440
Yeah, I mean like it's it's
it's almost like because you know what,

726
00:49:53.519 --> 00:49:57.760
that's one of the big questions here, right is you know this show,

727
00:49:57.920 --> 00:50:02.199
our podcast ends, but ostensibly it
didn't have to there was another show coming.

728
00:50:02.559 --> 00:50:06.159
Yeah, they had anno. I
mean it wasn't. This isn't like

729
00:50:06.599 --> 00:50:13.760
the George Miller Justice League film starring
apparently serial murderer Army Hammer. Um is

730
00:50:13.920 --> 00:50:16.400
not a serial murder. I don't
know what he got. We'll find out

731
00:50:16.440 --> 00:50:22.360
soon. Um he's one hundred percent
a can of the book one huh.

732
00:50:22.239 --> 00:50:25.280
But it's not like that where it
was like we got to see stuff,

733
00:50:25.320 --> 00:50:30.239
but like it was maybe coming maybe
not. Yeah, the Tails or the

734
00:50:30.239 --> 00:50:34.599
Cript show was like they announced it, they had like a teaser for it.

735
00:50:34.679 --> 00:50:37.119
I believe that ade thing. Okay, that was a fanmade thing,

736
00:50:37.119 --> 00:50:40.679
but they had announced it, said
it's coming. Like. The fact is

737
00:50:40.880 --> 00:50:44.960
like we're never was writing script.
We know you know that. Yeah,

738
00:50:44.960 --> 00:50:50.639
we're never going to get George Miller's
Justice League. But the potential exists very

739
00:50:50.679 --> 00:50:53.119
strongly that we'll get another Tails from
Script series. Um. As much as

740
00:50:53.159 --> 00:50:58.480
I think it might just end up
being creep show, it does have a

741
00:50:58.559 --> 00:51:04.039
leg up in that the source material
is a wonder Like there's a lot of

742
00:51:04.039 --> 00:51:09.440
dogs in the ECU collection of stories, but there's a lot of really good

743
00:51:09.440 --> 00:51:16.960
ones that if somebody embraced and tried
to make sort of relevant for you know,

744
00:51:17.119 --> 00:51:22.079
twenty twenty one, then h I
think it has more of a chance.

745
00:51:22.119 --> 00:51:27.440
And creep Show. Creepshow is even
more of an anthology crapshoot because they're

746
00:51:27.440 --> 00:51:30.599
not drawing from anything other than you
know, like I read a story and

747
00:51:30.639 --> 00:51:34.360
it was kind of scary, so
let's adapt that. That's a bum Yeah,

748
00:51:34.400 --> 00:51:37.440
I mean again, you know,
I watched enough of that new Creepshow

749
00:51:37.480 --> 00:51:38.880
to know that I'm not gonna want
to watch any more of it. It's

750
00:51:39.000 --> 00:51:45.519
it's you know, it's it's poorly
done. And uh, I gotta say,

751
00:51:45.559 --> 00:51:50.920
like whenever they sort of cut to
a sort of callback to Creep Show

752
00:51:51.000 --> 00:51:53.639
itself by like doing splash pages or
like you know, they'll throw in some

753
00:51:53.800 --> 00:51:58.679
crazy background behind the people, like
like this is a comic book, Like

754
00:51:59.079 --> 00:52:04.599
it's done so inelegantly, Like you
watch that movie creep Show Man, every

755
00:52:04.599 --> 00:52:08.760
shot was considered and with purpose sometimes
where like like George ramro knew that if

756
00:52:08.760 --> 00:52:14.079
you rip somebody's face open and blood
like pours like a fountain out of their

757
00:52:14.320 --> 00:52:17.400
out of their head, You're probably
going to run into an MPAA rule bud.

758
00:52:17.440 --> 00:52:20.639
If you shoot it with red light, it just kind of looks like

759
00:52:20.719 --> 00:52:25.880
water and it's like this this this
thinking of like this will make this more

760
00:52:25.920 --> 00:52:29.480
like a comic book, which is
what we're doing anyway, but it'll also

761
00:52:29.639 --> 00:52:32.559
achieve an end. There's no no
thought of that the current show. It's

762
00:52:32.559 --> 00:52:37.639
just they did an Evil Dead episode. What the second second episode of season

763
00:52:37.639 --> 00:52:43.639
two is an Evil Dead episode.
The literal necronomicon from Evil Dead is in

764
00:52:43.679 --> 00:52:46.480
there, the dead eyes are in
it. It's just like what is happening

765
00:52:46.519 --> 00:52:50.559
here? Like and of course it's
another situation where fans are like, oh

766
00:52:50.719 --> 00:52:54.360
so cool. It's like, no, it's not cool. H That series

767
00:52:54.519 --> 00:52:58.519
has a lot of movies. You
can go watch it even had it own

768
00:52:58.599 --> 00:53:02.039
it's own television series, which for
how many years, Like who was clamoring?

769
00:53:02.280 --> 00:53:05.760
Well, we need a creep show
version four seasons there you go,

770
00:53:06.320 --> 00:53:12.480
like three pretty three pretty good ones
too. Yeah, like it's so funny,

771
00:53:12.519 --> 00:53:15.599
like three good seasons of TV as
res Evil Dead is a good show

772
00:53:16.679 --> 00:53:20.840
for the first three seasons, right, and then they went and rebooted the

773
00:53:20.880 --> 00:53:22.639
show in the fourth seasons, straight
up rebooted it, right, and now

774
00:53:22.639 --> 00:53:24.840
they're gonna like, you know,
they're doing another movie, like you know,

775
00:53:24.880 --> 00:53:30.079
it's ready to go. And like, you know, if honestly,

776
00:53:30.119 --> 00:53:34.559
like I think Tales from the Crypt
should say dead. Yeah, I mean

777
00:53:35.280 --> 00:53:37.199
I never say never. I think
I think if that's what I never say

778
00:53:37.280 --> 00:53:42.239
never. I just think it should
stay dead. I don't want to do

779
00:53:42.280 --> 00:53:46.039
you want to see it come back
and be bad and then have people come

780
00:53:46.079 --> 00:53:52.199
back and do retrospectives about how these
episodes aren't that bad because of how bad

781
00:53:52.239 --> 00:53:55.559
the news shit is. Here's what
I'll say, Um, whatever they came

782
00:53:55.639 --> 00:54:00.719
up with would not be as bad
as season seven, so that in and

783
00:54:00.719 --> 00:54:04.559
of itself, Yeah, I think
I show season two is seven show.

784
00:54:05.000 --> 00:54:07.920
Uh No, no, not at
all. And you're probably right. I

785
00:54:07.920 --> 00:54:14.000
think as as much as I don't
like what's going on on Creep Show,

786
00:54:14.360 --> 00:54:15.840
you can tell it's made with love, you know what I mean, Like

787
00:54:15.880 --> 00:54:21.800
there's there's at least some attempt at
look. Greg Nikotaro is one of the

788
00:54:21.840 --> 00:54:25.159
best makeup guys ever, but he's
a terrible filmmaker. Like it's it's not

789
00:54:25.280 --> 00:54:30.559
shot well and you know, I
don't get in trouble with a bunch of

790
00:54:30.559 --> 00:54:32.559
fucking nerds right now. But you
know what, like I knew Greg Nickotaro,

791
00:54:32.920 --> 00:54:37.119
not personally, but I knew when
he was Tom Savini's like third assistant

792
00:54:37.159 --> 00:54:42.960
guy, so you know, there's
nothing but admiration for him. But that

793
00:54:44.280 --> 00:54:45.079
yeah, man, well, I
mean, you know, he had very

794
00:54:45.079 --> 00:54:47.639
little to do with that show.
I think I'm no, no, no

795
00:54:47.639 --> 00:54:52.320
no. To start, that was
Narrowbon's thing, and he hired KNB basically,

796
00:54:52.519 --> 00:54:55.920
and then as it wore on his
role. You know, grout Ground

797
00:54:55.960 --> 00:55:00.639
its fan based down to a mealy
pulp, right, But funny because it's

798
00:55:00.639 --> 00:55:02.519
like from the executive producer. It's
like I could be an executive producer,

799
00:55:02.519 --> 00:55:06.280
you know what I mean. I
just they want you to walk away sometimes

800
00:55:06.760 --> 00:55:08.719
in that scenario. You know,
we just talked about Spike Lee movie.

801
00:55:08.719 --> 00:55:12.519
Like I have a friend who made
a movie called Tales from the Hood,

802
00:55:12.760 --> 00:55:15.760
which when it was advertised was from
executive producer Spike Lee. And I approached

803
00:55:15.800 --> 00:55:17.639
my friend and I went, so, what did he have to do with

804
00:55:17.679 --> 00:55:21.039
the movie, And he said,
oh, we gave him fifty thousand dollars

805
00:55:21.079 --> 00:55:23.360
so he would put his name on
it. Like that's that was his level

806
00:55:23.360 --> 00:55:25.800
of involvement. I didn't know that's
how that works. Yeah, I never

807
00:55:27.000 --> 00:55:30.760
trust the executive producer credits as part
of the creative process, do you think?

808
00:55:31.320 --> 00:55:35.599
Okay, so another question. We're
just working through the scenarios here.

809
00:55:35.840 --> 00:55:38.360
Yeah. M Knight Shamalan, Yeah, that was the thing that could have

810
00:55:38.400 --> 00:55:43.440
happened. Sure, who now could
take the reins and turn this into a

811
00:55:43.480 --> 00:55:45.559
competent show because I think M Knights, you know, M Knights doing his

812
00:55:45.599 --> 00:55:49.480
own thing. I'm Knights trying to
save his own career. He literally brought

813
00:55:49.559 --> 00:55:52.679
his career back and then dashed it
again. Yeah with that fucking what was

814
00:55:52.679 --> 00:55:58.360
it? Glass? Glass? You
you made Split? Like Split is a

815
00:55:58.440 --> 00:56:00.719
great movie. Split should have won
James McAboy the Oscar that year. He

816
00:56:00.800 --> 00:56:05.559
was great without the little uh tag
at the end. It was a great

817
00:56:05.599 --> 00:56:07.360
movie, Like he didn't even need
the tag to be a good movie.

818
00:56:07.719 --> 00:56:10.119
And then you went and fucked it
all up. You went, how did

819
00:56:10.159 --> 00:56:14.320
you double fuck your career? Pal? How is that possible? I think

820
00:56:14.400 --> 00:56:16.840
you know when you, I don't
know, man like when you I don't

821
00:56:16.840 --> 00:56:22.960
like fan casting and sort of fan
like you know, producing in a way,

822
00:56:22.039 --> 00:56:25.960
because I noticed when people do it, they just tend to say whoever's

823
00:56:25.960 --> 00:56:30.320
popular at that moment. I don't
know who the guy or girl or whoever

824
00:56:30.679 --> 00:56:37.639
would be to uh Shepherd Tenylson the
crypt like back into its former glory,

825
00:56:38.039 --> 00:56:40.880
because isn't that like the thing about
Tales It it has to have a Shepherd's

826
00:56:40.880 --> 00:56:44.840
because that's what this show had.
It had like a team of five guy.

827
00:56:45.119 --> 00:56:50.920
Yeah right, and uh but yeah, I think that's that's definitely the

828
00:56:50.920 --> 00:56:54.840
problem, right, Like there are
people working today like you know better I

829
00:56:54.880 --> 00:56:58.960
don't know, because that's it's so
weird, Like we're at a point now

830
00:56:59.000 --> 00:57:01.280
where like you can point at people
and go, they're good filmmakers. But

831
00:57:01.519 --> 00:57:07.039
it's not like there's somebody in a
particular genre who I'm like, that's the

832
00:57:07.159 --> 00:57:09.000
king, you know what I mean, Like you're supposed to say, ari

833
00:57:09.119 --> 00:57:14.599
asket, dude, come on,
yeah, you know in the in the

834
00:57:14.639 --> 00:57:17.400
aies, like you know, throw
a rock and you were hitting a great

835
00:57:17.480 --> 00:57:22.840
horror filmmaker. People who were really
invested in with David Cronenberg met John Carpenter

836
00:57:22.199 --> 00:57:27.840
and George Romero was working Joe Dante
and Toby Hooper, like like that's a

837
00:57:27.840 --> 00:57:30.960
lot of fucking people. Like to
a lesser degree, John Landis, who

838
00:57:30.960 --> 00:57:36.239
was always more interested in the sort
of comedy but understood horror better than most

839
00:57:36.360 --> 00:57:39.440
people, Like he knew when to
make things scary and more importantly, how

840
00:57:39.519 --> 00:57:44.840
to make them scary. Because if
you put the short list of people who

841
00:57:44.880 --> 00:57:46.559
are considered horror filmmakers in front of
me right now, I would say no

842
00:57:46.679 --> 00:57:51.960
to every single one of them,
like they should not be doing this show

843
00:57:52.000 --> 00:57:57.760
because the names would be Eli Roth
or fucking Rob Zombie or Eli Roth or

844
00:57:57.840 --> 00:57:59.960
Rob Zombie or whatever the name of
the guy who is who did the Way.

845
00:58:00.719 --> 00:58:02.280
If you like that movie, good
for you. It's I thought it

846
00:58:02.320 --> 00:58:06.840
was oh um, oh um.
The guy also did the Lighthouse. Yeah,

847
00:58:06.920 --> 00:58:10.360
ponderous, man, ponderous, ponderous. You know people like complain about

848
00:58:10.440 --> 00:58:14.519
art house movies, this is the
movie they're talking about, that Lighthouse movie.

849
00:58:15.679 --> 00:58:19.320
I actually fell asleep in the theater
watching that elevated horror. Dude,

850
00:58:19.400 --> 00:58:22.639
yeah, elevate right exactly, because
you know, you know, you imagine

851
00:58:22.639 --> 00:58:24.960
Tales from the Crypt as elevated horror. You know what, Honestly I'd be

852
00:58:24.960 --> 00:58:30.440
interested to watch it feels like it
would be a train wreck. It would

853
00:58:30.480 --> 00:58:32.800
be weird, right, I mean, at least it would be at least

854
00:58:32.840 --> 00:58:37.280
it would be in a direction of
somehow interest, you know what I mean?

855
00:58:37.480 --> 00:58:40.159
Like, is it any less weird? Than them doing an animated episode.

856
00:58:40.400 --> 00:58:44.960
No, it's no less weird than
giving a season seven or season six

857
00:58:45.039 --> 00:58:47.519
for that matter. Like, h
I think that, you know what,

858
00:58:49.559 --> 00:58:52.559
here's who I would pick to run
the show. Somebody who I would never

859
00:58:52.599 --> 00:58:55.280
pick to run the show. That's
probably gonna work out, you know.

860
00:58:55.400 --> 00:58:58.960
Yeah, no, I agree,
you know what, you know who you

861
00:58:59.000 --> 00:59:00.800
should get to run the show.
Maybe somebody like Joe King, Yeah,

862
00:59:00.880 --> 00:59:04.960
who was like a like a horror
writer. Yeah, man, he was

863
00:59:04.960 --> 00:59:08.599
supposed to. He was supposed to
run They were would be to rebooting Tales

864
00:59:08.639 --> 00:59:13.039
from the Dark Side, and he
was put in charge, and I think

865
00:59:13.039 --> 00:59:15.079
he wrote the entire first season and
he was like, I'm going to do

866
00:59:15.119 --> 00:59:20.960
this anthology series but unbeknownst to anybody, they're actually all interconnected and then it

867
00:59:21.000 --> 00:59:23.320
was going to pay off at the
end of the season, like little things,

868
00:59:23.400 --> 00:59:27.719
little subtle things where we're going to
connect them all. Um. So

869
00:59:27.800 --> 00:59:30.400
yeah, he'd be a great person. He's a really good writer. Actually,

870
00:59:31.239 --> 00:59:34.679
Range is a good book. Yeah, Horns is good. Um.

871
00:59:35.000 --> 00:59:37.760
No, Sperato was really good.
Yeah, not so much, but the

872
00:59:37.760 --> 00:59:42.199
book. Yeah, but his short
fiction is supreme, man, just like

873
00:59:42.239 --> 00:59:45.199
his dad. Yeah, Oh yeah, I agree. I mean that's that's

874
00:59:45.320 --> 00:59:47.800
like, when I think about who
I would want to run a show like

875
00:59:47.880 --> 00:59:53.519
this, I want someone who understands
short horror fiction. Yeah, and not

876
00:59:53.599 --> 00:59:57.800
just I understand short fiction. Yeah, Because look, I don't know.

877
00:59:57.880 --> 01:00:00.159
I mean, like, I don't
know if they do an original if they

878
01:00:00.199 --> 01:00:02.960
do this, if they do this
show again, do they do original episodes

879
01:00:04.000 --> 01:00:08.800
with Tales from the Crypt episodes?
They should only do tilsym the Crypt episodes.

880
01:00:09.280 --> 01:00:13.119
Well that would be that would be
a novel fucking idea, wouldn't it.

881
01:00:13.239 --> 01:00:15.360
Yeah, if I was producing it, I would be like, we're

882
01:00:15.519 --> 01:00:19.599
drawing only from the source material.
Nobody's writing in their fucking passion project here

883
01:00:19.639 --> 01:00:22.920
and putting it in Tales from the
Crypt form, and we are only choosing

884
01:00:22.960 --> 01:00:27.760
Tales from the Crypt comics. Like
that's because even the original show didn't,

885
01:00:28.320 --> 01:00:31.639
right, which in and of itself
is fucking insane, insane because it was

886
01:00:31.639 --> 01:00:35.800
a running it was a running gag
on this show. Yeah that most of

887
01:00:35.840 --> 01:00:38.360
the time, it was never a
Tales from the Crypt comic, Right.

888
01:00:40.719 --> 01:00:44.719
It's weird that the rarity on Talis
from the Crypt was that it was from

889
01:00:44.760 --> 01:00:46.639
Tales from the Crypt. I don't
know how many, how many do you

890
01:00:46.639 --> 01:00:51.239
think ended up being from Tales from
the Crypt, like ten, Yeah,

891
01:00:51.480 --> 01:00:53.199
one every season essentially. Yeah,
that sounds about it, right, I

892
01:00:53.280 --> 01:00:59.719
think, doesn't it. What's funny
is I don't think not one episode of

893
01:00:59.760 --> 01:01:04.119
the first season it's a talesmir Crypt
episode. Like, that's right. It

894
01:01:04.159 --> 01:01:08.960
wasn't until the Switch. The Arnold
Schwarzenegger directed episode was William Hikey like that.

895
01:01:09.239 --> 01:01:12.599
That's the first one. I believe
that's the first time it was an

896
01:01:12.599 --> 01:01:15.880
actual tales comic book that they drew
from. That's so insane. Yeah,

897
01:01:16.320 --> 01:01:21.239
yeah it is. And then the
second one was Cutting Cards. Yeah,

898
01:01:21.320 --> 01:01:24.000
you know what, you know what? Season two, like, most of

899
01:01:24.039 --> 01:01:29.000
them are Tales from the Crypt,
Season three has a fair amount, Season

900
01:01:29.079 --> 01:01:35.199
four no, Season four has two, Season five has four, Season six

901
01:01:35.320 --> 01:01:43.079
has one, Season seven has two. Shockingly, the seasons I like most

902
01:01:43.599 --> 01:01:47.960
are Tales from the Crypt heavy.
Yeah, it's people at ec knew what

903
01:01:47.960 --> 01:01:53.440
they were doing by segregating these stories
into their own titles. Yeah, because

904
01:01:53.480 --> 01:01:57.199
you know, some of them were
actions, some of them were thrillers,

905
01:01:57.199 --> 01:02:00.199
and some of them were horror.
And when you're making the horror show,

906
01:02:00.360 --> 01:02:04.760
you make the horror stories. Yeah, it's not that I don't under I've

907
01:02:04.760 --> 01:02:08.159
never understood that about this show.
I really have. It's a it's a

908
01:02:08.159 --> 01:02:13.119
shame, dude, so so so
so, I guess the cat's already kind

909
01:02:13.119 --> 01:02:15.719
of out of the bag. But
what what is your you know, what's

910
01:02:15.719 --> 01:02:20.639
your favorite episode of the show.
Um. For more than thirty years,

911
01:02:21.000 --> 01:02:23.440
my favorite episode of this show has
been The Man Who Is Death. It

912
01:02:23.639 --> 01:02:30.679
is a towering achievement. It stands
nearly at the top of the heat.

913
01:02:30.280 --> 01:02:35.320
However, oh boy, are you
fucking with me? No, I know

914
01:02:35.360 --> 01:02:37.360
what you're gonna say too. Yeah, it's three's a crowd. Yeah,

915
01:02:37.440 --> 01:02:44.519
I know. It's no so fucking
good in ways that Man Who Is Death

916
01:02:44.599 --> 01:02:47.920
is not. It actually is more
horror, like what we were talking about,

917
01:02:49.000 --> 01:02:51.480
sort of the trappings of horror that
sometimes they dress it up in the

918
01:02:51.599 --> 01:02:54.360
in the wolf the werewolf cloak,
and like that's enough. I don't think

919
01:02:54.400 --> 01:02:58.880
Walter Hill was coming at the show
in a good enough way. I think

920
01:02:58.880 --> 01:03:00.920
he was making the best thing he
could. But that thing ain't scary.

921
01:03:01.000 --> 01:03:05.239
It doesn't really good under your skin. It's a nice ironic twist, told

922
01:03:05.280 --> 01:03:13.320
it very well by a very charismatic
lead actor and one of the tightest most

923
01:03:13.400 --> 01:03:15.840
economical. That's a word I use
a lot now, economical because I really

924
01:03:15.840 --> 01:03:23.119
admire when somebody can get something across
very quickly. But like the Man Who

925
01:03:23.199 --> 01:03:29.480
Is Death, no doubt, one
of the best I was on the floor

926
01:03:29.519 --> 01:03:32.400
at the end of three is a
crowd. It is such a good example

927
01:03:32.559 --> 01:03:37.159
of what a twist should be,
and not just for the sake of it.

928
01:03:37.159 --> 01:03:40.199
It's actually startling. The episode is
good all the way through, all

929
01:03:40.239 --> 01:03:46.320
the performances are good. It's just, you know, it's if if somebody

930
01:03:46.320 --> 01:03:50.280
were to say to me, now, give me one episode of the show

931
01:03:50.360 --> 01:03:55.360
from jose mccriff to to sample it, I'd give them three. I would

932
01:03:55.400 --> 01:03:59.239
say, Man Who Is Death is
a good follow up, but three suscribes

933
01:03:59.320 --> 01:04:01.079
my thing. Now I wouldn't.
I don't know if if you're I don't

934
01:04:01.119 --> 01:04:05.880
know if that scenario is the one
I would use three as a crowd because

935
01:04:06.000 --> 01:04:10.719
if someone watched that episode, knowing
what they know about this show, they

936
01:04:10.800 --> 01:04:15.760
might be disappointed, maybe because their
their expectations are set by the crypt keeper

937
01:04:15.760 --> 01:04:20.159
at the beginning of the show right
up doesn't does okay? Is this a

938
01:04:20.199 --> 01:04:25.559
thought? There's a thought experiment?
Does the crypt keeper not actively work against

939
01:04:25.559 --> 01:04:29.920
this show, Like, doesn't it
kind of feel like the crypt Keeper as

940
01:04:29.920 --> 01:04:34.199
a character actively works against this show
being successful because your expectations are, this

941
01:04:34.280 --> 01:04:39.320
is a show with a fucking rotting
corps as the host, and you have

942
01:04:39.360 --> 01:04:42.880
some episodes that don't even like they
don't even seem to exist in the same

943
01:04:43.199 --> 01:04:48.159
universe as this the fucking wraparound guy. The answer is the answers, Yes,

944
01:04:48.599 --> 01:04:51.079
uh, it's do you think anyone
has ever thought that? You think

945
01:04:51.079 --> 01:04:54.440
that's a thing anyone thought about when
they were making this show? No,

946
01:04:55.360 --> 01:04:58.960
they thought is that too high level? Are we thinking too high level here?

947
01:04:59.400 --> 01:05:06.000
But they about the fact that the
character is a supposed to be a

948
01:05:06.320 --> 01:05:12.519
sort of pressure release valve. He's
supposed to make you feel okay about the

949
01:05:12.559 --> 01:05:15.400
horror you're about to see in the
horror you just saw, and when the

950
01:05:15.440 --> 01:05:23.199
episodes are actually scary or startling or
thought provoking, he works well in that

951
01:05:23.239 --> 01:05:29.679
way. When it's not those things, then it's just like, I'm a

952
01:05:29.760 --> 01:05:32.320
jokey guy and here's a jokey show, and so he don't even need to

953
01:05:32.360 --> 01:05:36.519
be a corpse, Like me,
being a corpse is unimportant. Actually feels

954
01:05:36.519 --> 01:05:40.880
like it's not even like why is
a corpse out throwing this show? Right?

955
01:05:41.119 --> 01:05:43.800
And the funny thing is, you
know, going back and reading all

956
01:05:43.840 --> 01:05:45.400
the comics, like you know,
I would always hear like, you know,

957
01:05:45.480 --> 01:05:48.639
the crypt Keeper, like he always
had please hilarious puns and whatever.

958
01:05:48.719 --> 01:05:55.159
He's not. He's not funny,
he's not he His purpose in that comic

959
01:05:55.400 --> 01:05:59.280
is misremembered by everyone who read it
when they were a little like, he's

960
01:05:59.320 --> 01:06:01.280
not there to like hold your hand
and make you feel better about anything.

961
01:06:01.400 --> 01:06:05.119
He's there to show you that it
is. This is a bad thing.

962
01:06:05.440 --> 01:06:10.159
And he still finds it amusing,
you know what I mean. He wasn't.

963
01:06:10.360 --> 01:06:14.960
Yeah, he's not there to entertain
us. And the crypt Keeper's primary

964
01:06:15.000 --> 01:06:19.559
function after the first season kind of
became jokey, just like every sort of

965
01:06:19.559 --> 01:06:24.760
horror icon, you know, like
Freddy Krueger wasn't cracking wise in Nightmare in

966
01:06:24.800 --> 01:06:28.440
Elm Street. He was a scary
fucking nightmare from hell. And then until

967
01:06:28.519 --> 01:06:31.599
three. Yeah, then well he
kind of started in part two likes a

968
01:06:31.599 --> 01:06:34.440
little bit jokey, but by part
three it was just like he was Part

969
01:06:34.480 --> 01:06:39.119
two was he's a joke machine.
Yeah. Part two was just like,

970
01:06:39.199 --> 01:06:42.800
let's just break the conventions of this
series by having him in the real world,

971
01:06:43.000 --> 01:06:45.079
right, and that's that's that's fine, but you know, it is

972
01:06:45.440 --> 01:06:50.920
closer to the spirit of the character
initially, but then Freddie were in sunglasses

973
01:06:50.920 --> 01:06:55.760
and rocking a nes power glove.
Yeah, well that's that's part five.

974
01:06:56.599 --> 01:06:59.679
Oh I'm well aware which part it
is, but it's still the same character.

975
01:06:59.719 --> 01:07:01.639
For yeah, I know. And
that's that's the problem with the crypt

976
01:07:01.679 --> 01:07:05.559
Keeper, where it's I don't look, man, I don't know that I

977
01:07:05.639 --> 01:07:12.280
ever laughed one time. Well the
crypt keepers, like to me what the

978
01:07:12.320 --> 01:07:15.239
crypt Keeper was like, I was
always trying to stay ahead of the crypt

979
01:07:15.280 --> 01:07:17.840
Keeper to see where his puns were
going, right right, Like that's I'm

980
01:07:17.880 --> 01:07:20.840
I'm sure you did too, Like
you're not gonna laugh, but you're like,

981
01:07:20.920 --> 01:07:24.639
where is he going? Like what's
going to be the gay? But

982
01:07:24.760 --> 01:07:29.079
hearing how hilarious he is in retrospect
from people means to me that they,

983
01:07:29.320 --> 01:07:32.039
you know, they have a base
interested this show. They you know,

984
01:07:32.039 --> 01:07:36.280
they saw a couple episodes and maybe
they've seen the like YouTube, yeah,

985
01:07:36.320 --> 01:07:40.800
and they and they think it's funny
that there was a carp a corpse making

986
01:07:40.880 --> 01:07:43.920
jokes. I guess, you know, that is all anyone remembers from this

987
01:07:43.920 --> 01:07:45.639
show. They really do. It's
just him, Is that? Is that?

988
01:07:45.679 --> 01:07:49.559
Fucking nuts? Yeah? Well,
I mean you know, well,

989
01:07:49.599 --> 01:07:55.239
I mean perfect segue. Let's talk
about crypt Keeper based stuff. Yeah,

990
01:07:55.320 --> 01:07:59.599
let's let's do that, right,
because that's another thing I mean that leads

991
01:07:59.599 --> 01:08:02.840
into this, right. I mean
like crypt Keeper everything, crypt Keeper,

992
01:08:02.960 --> 01:08:09.079
Vinyl, crypt Keeper, poster,
crypt Keeper soundtrack, crypt Jam all,

993
01:08:09.239 --> 01:08:13.599
all quality stuff. The crypt Keeper
pinball machine is good. As a pinball

994
01:08:13.639 --> 01:08:16.479
fan, you and I both know
the kryp Keeper pinball machines good. I'm

995
01:08:16.520 --> 01:08:20.000
not gonna argue, but any pinball
game ultimately, it's pretty good as long

996
01:08:20.000 --> 01:08:23.840
as it just doesn't, you know, shoot your ball directly into the that's

997
01:08:23.880 --> 01:08:27.199
fair. I mean, if you
can get a few moments of a flipper

998
01:08:27.199 --> 01:08:31.399
action, you're it's a win.
I would like to sit. I sometimes

999
01:08:31.399 --> 01:08:33.920
have games of pinball that lasts for
an hour, so I would like to

1000
01:08:33.920 --> 01:08:38.680
have a game that's a little bit
more intriguing than that. But I understand

1001
01:08:38.680 --> 01:08:41.319
where you're coming. But the crypt
Keepers like the fucking thing. Like you've

1002
01:08:41.319 --> 01:08:44.720
already said, he's the he's the
money making he's the money making face of

1003
01:08:44.720 --> 01:08:48.479
the project. Yeah, and even
though he doesn't like i'd necessarily belong to

1004
01:08:48.520 --> 01:08:51.680
those guys, here was the only
chance to merchandise it, you know.

1005
01:08:53.239 --> 01:08:57.399
Oh yeah, how else? You
know, like nobody was making fucking Rod

1006
01:08:57.479 --> 01:09:01.960
Sterling, Ashtrace, though they should
have. Imagine if you will, yeah,

1007
01:09:02.319 --> 01:09:06.239
ashtray Um put your cigarette out in
it, because you know, Rod

1008
01:09:06.279 --> 01:09:11.720
Serling is just as identifiable for that
show as crypt Keeper was for here.

1009
01:09:11.760 --> 01:09:16.840
But but in the case of you
know, the original Twilight Zone, there

1010
01:09:16.880 --> 01:09:21.840
are enough good episodes that I don't
and he was so serious about them that

1011
01:09:23.279 --> 01:09:25.479
He's not the first thing that comes
to mind when I think about Twilts,

1012
01:09:25.479 --> 01:09:28.720
and I think about the quality of
the shows themselves, and then and then

1013
01:09:28.720 --> 01:09:31.319
of course, you know, he's
interlinked as the crypt Keeper is here.

1014
01:09:31.439 --> 01:09:36.359
But I don't think we needed him
honestly the crypt Keeper. Yeah, I

1015
01:09:36.399 --> 01:09:40.920
mean, I will say I like
John Cassier, so I can't I do

1016
01:09:41.000 --> 01:09:44.520
too, I'm not, And then
there's no place for John Cassier on this

1017
01:09:44.600 --> 01:09:47.319
show without that, right I will. I will not say he should never

1018
01:09:47.359 --> 01:09:49.840
have been there. I'm just saying
they should have been more consistent with him,

1019
01:09:49.960 --> 01:09:54.399
or I actually actually been funny.
Well, here's the thing that we

1020
01:09:54.439 --> 01:09:57.920
had mentioned a couple of times,
and it really rears its ugly head here

1021
01:09:57.920 --> 01:10:01.079
at the end. I don't really
as my eyes are super red. Holy

1022
01:10:01.279 --> 01:10:06.640
shit. Um you remember how we
complained, Uh it was probably like season

1023
01:10:08.000 --> 01:10:13.399
five or six about them doing gags
with the crypt Keeper. Yeah, that

1024
01:10:13.479 --> 01:10:16.359
made no sense in context of the
episode, like, right, he's going

1025
01:10:16.479 --> 01:10:20.239
to space, like say the saying
to Mars episode, They're not going to

1026
01:10:20.319 --> 01:10:24.560
space? Yeah, what the fuck
is going on? And and and they

1027
01:10:24.600 --> 01:10:28.000
did. They kept doing that,
and then in the final episode of the

1028
01:10:28.000 --> 01:10:31.239
show they do a Tales from the
Crypt bit with the crypt Keeper and it

1029
01:10:31.399 --> 01:10:36.520
sucked. Oh the bat and the
Dracula, Like you want to write for

1030
01:10:36.520 --> 01:10:40.279
this show? Thing? No,
the thing at the end of the thing

1031
01:10:40.279 --> 01:10:44.039
at the end of Crypt Tales from
the Crypt Oh yeah. The last the

1032
01:10:44.359 --> 01:10:46.680
show, the final episodes crap around
is like, oh, we found a

1033
01:10:46.720 --> 01:10:50.880
new intern to work on the show, right yeah, it's like what the

1034
01:10:50.920 --> 01:10:55.800
fuck? Yeah, well, I
mean but look by that I'd given up

1035
01:10:55.840 --> 01:11:00.439
caring so but Parcel, it was
like, it was weird they had the

1036
01:11:00.439 --> 01:11:05.039
opportunity to do the crypt Keeper Tales
from the Crypt like the two meeting,

1037
01:11:05.640 --> 01:11:10.399
and it's just like nope, no, you know, it seemed to hang

1038
01:11:10.439 --> 01:11:12.800
a lantern on it. I guess
yeah, it seemed to me that,

1039
01:11:12.920 --> 01:11:15.319
you know, early on, like
this is like any writing staff, right,

1040
01:11:15.359 --> 01:11:18.520
Like you got the ones who were
doing the bulk, like you got

1041
01:11:18.520 --> 01:11:21.680
the showrunner, and then you have
the sort of more trusted ones underneath him

1042
01:11:21.720 --> 01:11:26.359
are writing the majority of the stuff, and then you have other writers right

1043
01:11:26.560 --> 01:11:30.239
or in it, and and they
tend to just give those guys the fucking

1044
01:11:30.239 --> 01:11:32.359
grunt work. Like if you get
hired as a writer on The Simpsons,

1045
01:11:32.439 --> 01:11:38.560
I guess I guarantee you for the
first year you're writing couch gags and chalkboard

1046
01:11:38.840 --> 01:11:42.399
slow sayings. You know, oh
well all the don't forget this show has

1047
01:11:42.439 --> 01:11:46.920
like fifteen intro gags now, right, they've Bob's Right, So Bob's Burg

1048
01:11:47.039 --> 01:11:49.600
is like the same thing. Somebody's
got to come up with the exterminator joke

1049
01:11:49.640 --> 01:11:53.760
in the store next door that is
no longer their joke, showing that there's

1050
01:11:53.880 --> 01:11:59.399
a hierarchy basically in the writers.
So somebody is just writing crypt keeper gangs,

1051
01:12:00.000 --> 01:12:04.039
and it's at some point on the
show clearly they were just now we're

1052
01:12:04.039 --> 01:12:09.560
just writing gags where it did seem
early enough that they were like, what's

1053
01:12:09.600 --> 01:12:14.199
the episode. Okay, now I'll
write this crypt Keeper thing. And then

1054
01:12:14.520 --> 01:12:18.119
I think by by seasons five,
six seven, like it was just all

1055
01:12:18.720 --> 01:12:20.880
stuff that they had written and it
was all coming out of the trunk and

1056
01:12:20.920 --> 01:12:23.720
we got to do something. Whether
we wrote it, we paid for it,

1057
01:12:23.800 --> 01:12:27.119
let's use it, um and uh, you know, much to the

1058
01:12:27.159 --> 01:12:30.079
detri I know we've probably said this
before. You know, it's by the

1059
01:12:30.199 --> 01:12:32.680
end, it's it doesn't really matter. But as far as you know,

1060
01:12:32.720 --> 01:12:38.039
the first well, the first season, the crypt Keeper is scary, okay,

1061
01:12:38.199 --> 01:12:45.159
Yeah, sturbing, and if that
had carried over for the rest,

1062
01:12:45.239 --> 01:12:47.079
it would have only enriched the show
as far as I'm concerned. And that's

1063
01:12:47.199 --> 01:12:51.600
that's my final thoughts on the crypt
Keeper. Everybody, Yeah, make everything

1064
01:12:51.680 --> 01:12:57.279
scarier. Yeah, I mean again, it's it's a that's the problem with

1065
01:12:57.319 --> 01:13:00.720
the show in in general as a
whole. Like it's just it needed it

1066
01:13:00.760 --> 01:13:03.680
needed to be more horror. It's
not a horror show. No, it's

1067
01:13:04.399 --> 01:13:10.039
like it's not like any I know
that's going to make some people really angry.

1068
01:13:10.079 --> 01:13:13.199
I think that's probably the most controversial
opinion that we may come to is

1069
01:13:13.199 --> 01:13:16.159
this is not a horror show.
It has a lot of googlies and ghosties

1070
01:13:16.159 --> 01:13:20.119
and long legged obsties, but I
don't think anyone was interested in using them

1071
01:13:20.239 --> 01:13:26.399
in a way that would do anything
other than give us a twist or something

1072
01:13:26.520 --> 01:13:28.880
like it. You know, you
know what, man, I can I

1073
01:13:29.000 --> 01:13:33.479
like horror that isn't necessarily the most
disturbing, but I know that they're trying,

1074
01:13:33.880 --> 01:13:35.840
you know what I mean, And
there's ways to make Yeah, there's

1075
01:13:35.840 --> 01:13:41.800
ways to make horror that it's a
scary film and it isn't like crawling under

1076
01:13:41.840 --> 01:13:44.880
your skin and like making you like
fear the darker, you know what I

1077
01:13:44.880 --> 01:13:48.600
mean. There's there's ways to appreciate
horror on kind of not necessarily a surface

1078
01:13:48.680 --> 01:13:53.640
level, but like a level that
isn't trying to disturb. But you still

1079
01:13:53.840 --> 01:13:57.359
or get it. You still know
the intent behind it is to scare you,

1080
01:13:57.399 --> 01:14:02.439
at least a little. And I
don't think these people ever had any

1081
01:14:02.479 --> 01:14:05.840
intention of scaring anybody. I think
Samak has tried in the first season with

1082
01:14:06.239 --> 01:14:09.600
and All through the House. I
know you don't like that episode, but

1083
01:14:09.640 --> 01:14:13.039
I know he was trying. Um, I will agree that that's what it

1084
01:14:13.119 --> 01:14:15.279
was a try for sure. Yeah, like they he was trying to establish

1085
01:14:15.279 --> 01:14:19.800
a mood and like work towards something
and from from Vestil Dawn and the Frighteners

1086
01:14:19.800 --> 01:14:24.840
are scarier than Tales from the Crypt
and those are both essentially rejected Tales from

1087
01:14:24.840 --> 01:14:28.439
the Crypt scripts. Yeah, and
you know those are like action movies.

1088
01:14:28.479 --> 01:14:30.560
But that's perfect, that's a perfect
example. Like that's the kind of scripts

1089
01:14:30.600 --> 01:14:38.159
that they were getting. You know, like people who don't I think it

1090
01:14:38.199 --> 01:14:42.600
has a it's more action e than
anything, you know what I mean,

1091
01:14:42.680 --> 01:14:45.560
Like there are parts of there are
parts of Aliens that are scary, but

1092
01:14:45.600 --> 01:14:49.239
it's not. It's not a horror
It's it's a fucking action movie. And

1093
01:14:49.960 --> 01:14:54.479
people, Yeah, Demon Knights relaid
out of horror movie is not at all.

1094
01:14:54.520 --> 01:14:58.199
Man, there's nothing scary in that
movie. And you had and we've

1095
01:14:58.199 --> 01:15:01.359
already talked about it. It just
adds. It just adds to the legend

1096
01:15:01.439 --> 01:15:03.600
of this show. I mean,
look, the thing about the show,

1097
01:15:03.640 --> 01:15:09.199
Like the weird thing about this show
is it has the show, and then

1098
01:15:09.239 --> 01:15:13.520
it has the movies, and then
it has the children's cartoon, and then

1099
01:15:13.520 --> 01:15:16.720
it has the children's TV show,
and then it has two Fisted Tales,

1100
01:15:17.159 --> 01:15:21.000
and then it has perversions of signs. Yeah, and then it has the

1101
01:15:21.039 --> 01:15:26.560
Frighteners and from Gustil Dawn, which
are you know, technically movies that they

1102
01:15:26.560 --> 01:15:29.960
were developed. Four Tales from the
Crypts Yeah, yeah, even though they

1103
01:15:30.039 --> 01:15:33.319
kind of became their own thing and
Ritual is technically not even the Tales from

1104
01:15:33.319 --> 01:15:36.000
the Crypt script to begin with,
but became one. Not yeah exactly,

1105
01:15:36.199 --> 01:15:41.960
and like all of that, and
all of that adds to Tales from the

1106
01:15:41.960 --> 01:15:45.880
Crypt being this weird show. It's
like a weird It's like it's a weird

1107
01:15:46.000 --> 01:15:51.239
thing to me. It's yeah,
I don't know. Ultimately, all I

1108
01:15:51.239 --> 01:15:56.920
can say about the show in a
samar some summing it up kind of a

1109
01:15:56.960 --> 01:16:02.720
way here is that when it worked, work like goddamn Gangbusters, And I

1110
01:16:02.720 --> 01:16:04.800
didn't even want to say there's nothing
like it, because you know what,

1111
01:16:04.880 --> 01:16:10.199
like there was so many other things, yeah, and so many and so

1112
01:16:10.239 --> 01:16:14.479
many other things. Did this so
much better? Twilight Zone nineteen eighty five,

1113
01:16:14.560 --> 01:16:18.079
some of those first season episodes butt
fuck this show into the ground?

1114
01:16:18.199 --> 01:16:21.359
Oh yeah, man, Like,
like I like the man who was deaf,

1115
01:16:21.399 --> 01:16:25.880
but is the Man who was death
better than word play or Shatter Day?

1116
01:16:26.359 --> 01:16:29.760
Not? Uh, you know,
it's in the same it's in the

1117
01:16:29.800 --> 01:16:33.319
same kind of class. So that's
probably a bad example, right, it's

1118
01:16:33.359 --> 01:16:38.199
a different animal, And I think, but I do think if I had

1119
01:16:38.199 --> 01:16:43.840
seen wordplay as the Tales from the
Crypt story, it would be like one

1120
01:16:43.880 --> 01:16:45.600
of the best else in there,
you know what I mean, Like,

1121
01:16:45.640 --> 01:16:47.640
I don't know, they would add
their own flare too. Yeah. Um,

1122
01:16:47.840 --> 01:16:51.760
they'd probably give you a reason why
it was happening. Um, well,

1123
01:16:51.760 --> 01:16:55.560
well that's that's tales with a crypt
floor. Yeah, you know,

1124
01:16:55.600 --> 01:17:00.880
there'd be a big twist at the
end where now everybody refers to a dinosaur.

1125
01:17:00.119 --> 01:17:03.840
I don't know, you know,
it's it's one of those things where,

1126
01:17:04.359 --> 01:17:06.880
like you said, there you could
say that there's nothing like it,

1127
01:17:06.960 --> 01:17:11.439
but there was. Yeah, there's
so many, so many other things,

1128
01:17:11.560 --> 01:17:14.600
and not only just because it's an
anthology series, and there have been other

1129
01:17:14.640 --> 01:17:17.880
anthology series that are good, if
not better. The fact is, I

1130
01:17:17.920 --> 01:17:23.640
think what shined the light on this
whole possibility was creep Show that George Romero

1131
01:17:23.800 --> 01:17:29.760
Stephen King owed two ec comics which
people have their own favorites or least favorites

1132
01:17:29.840 --> 01:17:31.800
of the five tales presented in that, But to me, all of them

1133
01:17:31.800 --> 01:17:38.079
are really good, Like it's a
perfect perfect Tis from Crib even the Tales

1134
01:17:38.119 --> 01:17:42.319
from the Cript movie, you know
from seventy one like understood the horror more,

1135
01:17:42.439 --> 01:17:45.880
you know what I mean? It
like a lot of the what was

1136
01:17:45.920 --> 01:17:48.800
supposed to be scary as kind of
corny now forty nearly fifty years later.

1137
01:17:48.880 --> 01:17:53.119
But but god damn they were trying
right well not ogin I can't fall to

1138
01:17:53.199 --> 01:17:57.760
effort. Was it the second movie
that had the Peter Cushing story? No,

1139
01:17:57.920 --> 01:18:00.760
that's Jalse mcribb. Okay, that's
story is probably the best Tailors from

1140
01:18:00.760 --> 01:18:05.199
the Crypt story. We we watched. It is one of the best filmed

1141
01:18:05.199 --> 01:18:10.399
adaptation of the Tails from the Crypt
property. Yeah, it's and it's it's

1142
01:18:10.399 --> 01:18:15.439
a fucking movie. Yeah, it's
exactly what Tails from the Crypt was meant

1143
01:18:15.479 --> 01:18:21.680
for, which is, you know, real characters, horrible situations and supernatural

1144
01:18:21.720 --> 01:18:28.640
saving the day. Yeah, in
in a horrifying manner. Yeah, supernatural

1145
01:18:28.680 --> 01:18:31.039
has to save the day. But
it is awful. Yeah, it's it's

1146
01:18:31.119 --> 01:18:34.319
it's awful in a way that you
can't even comprehend until you watch it.

1147
01:18:34.640 --> 01:18:38.680
What's your favorite? Is it still
Man Who's Death? I think so?

1148
01:18:38.920 --> 01:18:42.640
Yeah? I like, like,
I mean, I like three es A

1149
01:18:42.720 --> 01:18:45.479
Crowd A lot. I look,
I would say that it's it's it's one

1150
01:18:45.560 --> 01:18:49.039
and one, you know, one
A and one B really like you know,

1151
01:18:49.159 --> 01:18:53.319
three ZA Crowd is one of those
episodes that I remember when I watch

1152
01:18:53.359 --> 01:18:56.520
it, and I forget about it
every time after, but not this time.

1153
01:18:58.000 --> 01:19:00.359
You know, I've forgotten about it
every other time I've watched, but

1154
01:19:00.399 --> 01:19:03.000
for some reason, this time,
I haven't forgotten about it. Yeah,

1155
01:19:03.039 --> 01:19:06.119
and I don't know why. Oh, it's because it's amazing, that's why,

1156
01:19:06.359 --> 01:19:12.039
right, because it has such a
horrifying finale that like, it's a

1157
01:19:12.039 --> 01:19:16.800
finale you could find yourself in totally. Very rarely do these shows have at

1158
01:19:16.840 --> 01:19:20.279
a point where you're like, I
could see myself in the lead character's position,

1159
01:19:20.680 --> 01:19:24.239
and I see why he made the
decisions he made, and they're not

1160
01:19:24.439 --> 01:19:29.800
undefenseable. It's funny because I'm said
it too many times, like you know,

1161
01:19:30.520 --> 01:19:34.199
for me, the best that EC
had to offer were ones that trafficked

1162
01:19:34.199 --> 01:19:40.439
and Supernatural, and my two favorite
episodes of the series are not supernatural in

1163
01:19:40.520 --> 01:19:44.640
any way, No, not at
all, so they kind of got no

1164
01:19:44.760 --> 01:19:47.199
excuse, you know what I mean. No, I'm with you, and

1165
01:19:47.199 --> 01:19:50.079
and look and look, the two
episodes that we liked the most, they

1166
01:19:50.079 --> 01:19:55.119
don't even have the flashiest people in
them. Yeah, and o'hurllah he yeah,

1167
01:19:55.159 --> 01:19:58.319
that's I think that's to the benefit
of the show. Like that's one

1168
01:19:58.319 --> 01:20:00.279
of those things that I hate when
like a show gets popular where everyone just

1169
01:20:00.319 --> 01:20:02.760
wants to come play in the sandbox, now you know what I mean they

1170
01:20:02.760 --> 01:20:05.279
did, yeah, which they did
on this show, and it was nothing

1171
01:20:05.279 --> 01:20:11.640
but distracting. Arnold Schwarzenegger's directing the
second episode of the second season of this

1172
01:20:11.680 --> 01:20:14.439
show. Yeah, and you know
I get him doing it at least because

1173
01:20:14.479 --> 01:20:17.079
him and Joel Silver go back,
like it makes more sense than someone like

1174
01:20:17.399 --> 01:20:23.199
well, I guess Michael J.
Foxon's Amachus and Tom Hanks And I was

1175
01:20:23.239 --> 01:20:25.600
gonna say, you can make those
statements, but all of a sudden,

1176
01:20:25.680 --> 01:20:28.199
like yeah, it all makes sense
that they're all sort of buddies and like,

1177
01:20:28.239 --> 01:20:30.039
hey, come to one of these
Yeah. I mean some of the

1178
01:20:30.079 --> 01:20:33.319
people I don't get, but like, oh, yeah, the but the

1179
01:20:33.319 --> 01:20:36.560
buddies of the buddies of that group, like, oh yeah, for sure.

1180
01:20:36.760 --> 01:20:43.199
So I guess would you I guess
the biggest question nask is would you

1181
01:20:43.279 --> 01:20:45.800
suggest someone else watch this show.
Yeah, I would, I would warn

1182
01:20:45.840 --> 01:20:50.239
them. Yeah, that feels like
Part and Parcel now like it needs it

1183
01:20:50.319 --> 01:20:55.600
needs it, like Star trek TN
levels right, Like nobody suggests you watch

1184
01:20:55.760 --> 01:21:00.199
TNG without saying like the first season
is fucking Garbo, Like the first season

1185
01:21:00.199 --> 01:21:03.920
of the show is actively bad.
Gene Roddenberry was a terrible person. He

1186
01:21:04.159 --> 01:21:08.279
made the show terrible for that first
season. But after that first season it

1187
01:21:08.319 --> 01:21:13.319
becomes amazing. Yeah, that's a
that's a good example. It kind of

1188
01:21:13.319 --> 01:21:18.760
worked in reverse here, but oh
totallyse not really an old story where something

1189
01:21:19.000 --> 01:21:24.319
starts out and it's great and then
just kind of grinds down to nothing.

1190
01:21:24.840 --> 01:21:28.359
I yeah, I would. Absolutely. There's nothing that happened in the last

1191
01:21:28.359 --> 01:21:32.439
couple of seasons that can diminish my
appreciation of the good ones from the from

1192
01:21:32.439 --> 01:21:36.680
the first couple even, you know
it. If anything, it's only sort

1193
01:21:36.680 --> 01:21:43.079
of amplified my appreciation for episodes that
I was maybe too hard on, like

1194
01:21:43.199 --> 01:21:45.920
at the at the start, like
you know, you start going to watch

1195
01:21:45.920 --> 01:21:48.439
the show in reverse. Yeah,
man, if you start with Man who

1196
01:21:48.479 --> 01:21:51.760
was Death? Like you set the
bar pretty fucking high, you know what

1197
01:21:51.760 --> 01:21:56.000
I mean, Like I'm expecting that
every week, and when we weren't getting

1198
01:21:56.039 --> 01:21:58.640
that, I was like, Ah, this isn't good. This isn't good.

1199
01:21:58.680 --> 01:22:01.880
Don't watch this. I gotta say, man, I think it isn't

1200
01:22:01.920 --> 01:22:05.119
I a good idea to maybe a
couple of years sort of reevaluate, because

1201
01:22:06.239 --> 01:22:10.520
if you put up most of the
episodes that I told people to skip from

1202
01:22:10.520 --> 01:22:14.079
the first couple of seasons, I
guarantee you they're all better than what we

1203
01:22:14.159 --> 01:22:16.039
ended up with. Oh yeah,
right, And that's well, that's the

1204
01:22:16.039 --> 01:22:19.000
thing, Like, that's the thing
I keep thinking about here is like so

1205
01:22:19.039 --> 01:22:21.760
many of the episodes where I was
like, ah, these are okay,

1206
01:22:21.920 --> 01:22:28.479
but like I remember them being better, Like the good the really good ones

1207
01:22:28.479 --> 01:22:31.439
are so infrequent. Yeah, but
there, but when they hit, they

1208
01:22:31.520 --> 01:22:35.880
hit that they almost make you forget
everything else exactly. And you know that's

1209
01:22:35.880 --> 01:22:41.079
a sort of selective amnesia. That
that's a strong high, Dude, that's

1210
01:22:41.119 --> 01:22:44.720
a strong high. I will take
to my grave, the fact that you

1211
01:22:44.760 --> 01:22:47.880
know three's a crowd man. It
was death death of some salesman. I'm

1212
01:22:47.880 --> 01:22:51.880
just reading my cutting cards. Cutting
cards is great and for me and all

1213
01:22:51.920 --> 01:22:59.319
through the house is is pretty great
for crying out loud, Like that's a

1214
01:22:59.319 --> 01:23:02.239
good one tell of Asian terror,
Oh Moon Downey Jr. And there's an

1215
01:23:02.279 --> 01:23:06.199
episode that was their whole idea was
like, let's fucking scare the shit out

1216
01:23:06.199 --> 01:23:11.680
of these viewers by the end,
you know about what's cooking. I was

1217
01:23:11.720 --> 01:23:13.760
just about to say, what's cooking? Is the other one where it's like

1218
01:23:14.199 --> 01:23:17.319
not necessarily I mean it's actually no, I did. Yeah, it's really

1219
01:23:17.359 --> 01:23:20.000
good. I don't want to say
anything it's it's good, but it's not

1220
01:23:20.079 --> 01:23:23.760
scary. But it's good. It's
not scary, but it is kind of

1221
01:23:23.760 --> 01:23:27.119
repugnant. And that you know,
if you can't, if you can't scare

1222
01:23:27.159 --> 01:23:30.399
them, gross them out right.
Yeah, what is the Your list is

1223
01:23:30.399 --> 01:23:33.960
getting shorter the longer we go into
the season. I know, Easil kill

1224
01:23:34.000 --> 01:23:36.960
you. I know you weren't that
stoked about that one that was the tim

1225
01:23:38.039 --> 01:23:44.119
Roth Painter one. I like the
tim Roth ending. Yes, they curb

1226
01:23:44.119 --> 01:23:47.439
your enthusiasm. Yeah, which I
still think the twist was. Was was

1227
01:23:47.520 --> 01:23:51.600
good for that one. Oh you've
killed the doctor, killed the doctor,

1228
01:23:51.600 --> 01:23:55.640
who's gonna save your girl? I
liked it again. I'll take it over

1229
01:23:55.720 --> 01:23:59.239
everything we just saw in season seven. I like Yellow. I like Yellow.

1230
01:23:59.600 --> 01:24:00.640
I know of a movie than an
episode. It is more than a

1231
01:24:00.680 --> 01:24:02.960
movie than an episode. But I
think it's I think it's well done.

1232
01:24:03.039 --> 01:24:08.399
I like the twist. I like
that you're not a war person. But

1233
01:24:08.520 --> 01:24:14.600
for me, like of war movies, World War One is very rarely the

1234
01:24:14.640 --> 01:24:19.520
subject, and when it is,
it's always so like horrific. Like I'm

1235
01:24:19.520 --> 01:24:23.279
not saying the war is like fun
and we should be pointing out it's good

1236
01:24:23.319 --> 01:24:27.920
side or anything, but like there, it's always too heavy. And I

1237
01:24:27.960 --> 01:24:31.239
think Lance Henrickson is awesome in it, and it's got Kirk Douglas. Come

1238
01:24:31.279 --> 01:24:34.800
on, I have I have written
down and now I can't remember what the

1239
01:24:34.840 --> 01:24:40.119
episodes are. But strung Along I
wrote down as like sort of teetering on

1240
01:24:40.119 --> 01:24:45.880
the edge of really good and strung
Along. Yeah. Split Second is another

1241
01:24:45.880 --> 01:24:47.960
one that I think is actually pretty
good. That's the one with the logging,

1242
01:24:48.039 --> 01:24:51.960
one with the Billy Worth Oh yeah
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

1243
01:24:51.960 --> 01:24:57.560
Like that one's good. Um so
look what this you know what this

1244
01:24:57.560 --> 01:25:00.720
this show needs like a you know
what this show needs like a second lap.

1245
01:25:00.119 --> 01:25:02.680
Yeah, you know what I mean, Like you need to like we

1246
01:25:02.720 --> 01:25:04.720
have to make like a let It's
like one of these shows where it's like

1247
01:25:04.800 --> 01:25:06.960
you gotta watch it again to be
like, Okay, all the stuff that

1248
01:25:08.000 --> 01:25:11.960
I thought was really bad, Yeah, it turns out was like actually a

1249
01:25:12.000 --> 01:25:15.239
lot better than I thought, right
retrospect. But you know, I like

1250
01:25:15.680 --> 01:25:20.960
went through the list of things today
and I have thirteen episodes that I can

1251
01:25:21.000 --> 01:25:26.279
say are good and you should watch
no matter what. It's one season.

1252
01:25:26.439 --> 01:25:29.880
That's a lot. If that had
been just season one, I would say,

1253
01:25:30.439 --> 01:25:31.920
yes, it is a lot.
For an anthology show, it's a

1254
01:25:31.920 --> 01:25:36.159
lot of like a lot to recommend
it. Like I've said this also before,

1255
01:25:36.279 --> 01:25:40.680
like people lionize The Twilight Zone because
when it was good, it was

1256
01:25:40.840 --> 01:25:45.560
fucking great. But go back and
try. I've tried. I mean,

1257
01:25:45.840 --> 01:25:48.479
I don't know. I still even
love the bad Ones. But but there's

1258
01:25:48.479 --> 01:25:51.720
a lot. But the True Gems, there's a it's a handful. It's

1259
01:25:51.760 --> 01:25:56.079
a handful. And that show ran
for like five seasons and each season had

1260
01:25:56.119 --> 01:25:58.520
like twenty four episodes. Yeah,
there's a lot. That's why. I

1261
01:25:58.560 --> 01:26:00.119
mean, there's a lot of show
to get through too. Yeah. But

1262
01:26:00.520 --> 01:26:03.520
like you just said though, that's
the thing about these anthology shows, like

1263
01:26:03.960 --> 01:26:09.039
unless you're talking full season anthology.
Allah American Horror Story, which has its

1264
01:26:09.079 --> 01:26:15.439
own problems. Um. Yeah,
the problems it has are many and varied.

1265
01:26:15.960 --> 01:26:19.279
Um that's the way these shows go, I guess, And we're finding

1266
01:26:19.279 --> 01:26:23.319
this out. We're finding this out
the hard way on this show and on

1267
01:26:23.439 --> 01:26:27.880
Dreams for Sale. Yeah, although
they're they're marrying Dreams for Sale like keeps

1268
01:26:27.920 --> 01:26:30.960
surprising me. Like the Dreams for
Sale has also had some real fucking clunkers.

1269
01:26:31.239 --> 01:26:34.079
It had or we're talking about the
toilet Zone eighty five by the way,

1270
01:26:35.319 --> 01:26:38.880
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it
has had some real call There was

1271
01:26:38.920 --> 01:26:42.000
no serious called Dreams for Sale,
but there was an episode, yes,

1272
01:26:42.039 --> 01:26:45.640
there have been there. Look,
man, you know me, I hate

1273
01:26:45.880 --> 01:26:49.560
melodrama and saccherin kind of things,
and more often than not, that's the

1274
01:26:49.840 --> 01:26:55.439
clunker for me on that show.
But it's the perfect example of an anthology

1275
01:26:55.479 --> 01:26:58.640
series in that some of them ain't
gonna be great, but some of them

1276
01:26:58.680 --> 01:27:00.119
are gonna be awesome, which is
why I love this show. Now,

1277
01:27:00.159 --> 01:27:04.079
I do want to take this opportunity
to list my least favorite episodes at the

1278
01:27:04.079 --> 01:27:09.600
show. Oh yeah, go for
it ready, Undertaking, Parlor, Undertaking,

1279
01:27:09.640 --> 01:27:14.680
pallor undertaking pallor right. See,
it's so bad, I can't even

1280
01:27:14.680 --> 01:27:20.560
remember the name correctly undertaking Goonies meets
fucking John Glover. What a waste?

1281
01:27:21.920 --> 01:27:27.439
So bad? Don't watch it?
Really awful on a dead man's chest.

1282
01:27:28.720 --> 01:27:35.239
Oh yeah, the tattoo comes to
like Pier Carrera episode. Oh William Friedkin,

1283
01:27:38.079 --> 01:27:42.640
that steaming pile of trash. I
know, Billy Friedkin as we call

1284
01:27:42.760 --> 01:27:48.159
him in the industry, a pit
mark Dacascus. Who I love? What

1285
01:27:48.239 --> 01:27:55.640
was that? Why a nonsense suddenly
with no payoff, no twist? Really

1286
01:27:56.720 --> 01:28:04.279
fighting, hooray showdown wild West wild
I'm totally down with a fucking horror in

1287
01:28:04.359 --> 01:28:08.239
the wild West. This was not
a horror in the wild West. This

1288
01:28:08.359 --> 01:28:11.479
was kind of a ghostie thing.
And it's not from Tales from the Crypt.

1289
01:28:11.520 --> 01:28:14.239
It's from Two Fisted Tails, the
pilot that they attempted to make a

1290
01:28:14.239 --> 01:28:18.039
new series on, And it's based
on nothing or the other, the only

1291
01:28:18.039 --> 01:28:21.439
other original episode in the show right
which it can piss up a rope.

1292
01:28:21.439 --> 01:28:26.720
As far as I'm concerned, it's
just as bad as the other original episode.

1293
01:28:27.039 --> 01:28:33.239
Yeah, you murderer. Oh,
don't don't use my television series murderer,

1294
01:28:33.279 --> 01:28:36.800
sir to you know further, what
you think you can do in cinema

1295
01:28:36.840 --> 01:28:41.640
wouldn't this be a lark? I
whatever your intention, you know what.

1296
01:28:41.800 --> 01:28:44.680
I love Sherlyn Fenn and I could
watch her for half an hour. I'd

1297
01:28:44.680 --> 01:28:48.159
probably watch it again just based on
her. But it's garbage. And finally

1298
01:28:49.159 --> 01:28:51.359
my other by the way, I
don't know if you noticed, but I

1299
01:28:51.399 --> 01:28:57.119
have not included anything from season seven
because what would be It's all bad,

1300
01:28:57.279 --> 01:29:00.319
It's all bad. But these are
these are like, oh wow, was

1301
01:29:00.359 --> 01:29:03.359
this bad? The last one is
Revenge is the Nuts, that's the one

1302
01:29:03.439 --> 01:29:09.159
with the blind people Harry Polo.
Yeah, why did Deadweight not make your

1303
01:29:09.199 --> 01:29:13.439
list? Because I did. I
only picked one Deadweight. Deadweight was my

1304
01:29:13.520 --> 01:29:19.319
least favorite. That was like the
that the the James Remar episode Redhead,

1305
01:29:19.399 --> 01:29:26.000
right, yeah, Oh it's so
mysterious you're a redhead boo oh yeah,

1306
01:29:26.039 --> 01:29:29.960
oh yeah that's how did you like
that? I legit thought that when we

1307
01:29:30.000 --> 01:29:31.760
talked about that episode we were both
going to come back to it as the

1308
01:29:31.800 --> 01:29:35.319
worst of the show because it is
the worst of the show. We got

1309
01:29:35.319 --> 01:29:39.720
some zombie action in there though,
right, remember when he just gets decapitated.

1310
01:29:39.960 --> 01:29:43.720
Oh right, there's a zombies in
that one. I think the dream

1311
01:29:43.720 --> 01:29:46.840
stuff is pretty Yeah, you're right, damn it. I don't know how

1312
01:29:46.880 --> 01:29:51.720
you forgot that one. It's like, it's like the abjectly worst one.

1313
01:29:53.119 --> 01:29:56.359
Why would I remember it? I
mean, I don't blame you. I

1314
01:29:56.359 --> 01:30:00.279
don't remember remember is it the worst
one? Honestly? I remember when we

1315
01:30:00.279 --> 01:30:02.479
talked about it, how much we
both disliked it was like it was very

1316
01:30:02.560 --> 01:30:08.439
overwhelming. Yeah, um, it's
James Reemar. Yeah it's pretty bad.

1317
01:30:08.520 --> 01:30:12.760
But you know I love James Reemar, so I'm not putting that on my

1318
01:30:12.840 --> 01:30:15.600
list of the absolute worst. What
is the absolute worst one? On a

1319
01:30:15.680 --> 01:30:19.800
dead man's chest? It's pretty bad
on a dead man's chest. Tia Carrera

1320
01:30:19.920 --> 01:30:23.880
is not a great actress. She's
a terrible actress. I don't know.

1321
01:30:23.960 --> 01:30:26.479
I never understood her part. I
mean, I get it's just a pretty

1322
01:30:26.479 --> 01:30:29.960
girl who cares. Uh, you
know, like pretty, you're pretty?

1323
01:30:30.000 --> 01:30:32.199
We got it? Yeah, bad
and fifty cents will get you nothing these

1324
01:30:32.279 --> 01:30:38.399
days, pretty much? What a
show man? Yeah, I mean,

1325
01:30:38.640 --> 01:30:42.000
you know what. Overall, I'm
glad to have revisited it. Uh.

1326
01:30:42.399 --> 01:30:48.560
I think as bracing as it could
be sometimes to realize the lack of commitment

1327
01:30:48.640 --> 01:30:53.520
by the creators when it worked,
Fuck man, it worked. So good.

1328
01:30:54.239 --> 01:30:57.399
I'm still gonna you know, I'm
still gonna I don't know that I'm

1329
01:30:57.399 --> 01:31:00.760
gonna go watch it again anytime soon, honestly. But man, who was

1330
01:31:00.800 --> 01:31:04.800
death? Yeah, the episodes we
mentioned like those come on and uh,

1331
01:31:04.800 --> 01:31:10.079
you know what, here's the only
skin Deep, not only sin Deep,

1332
01:31:10.119 --> 01:31:13.760
not the first season Leah Thompson,
the only skin Deep with the girl with

1333
01:31:13.840 --> 01:31:17.199
a mask, Like, oh,
yeah, Like, I don't think it's

1334
01:31:17.239 --> 01:31:20.279
like the greatest episode, but it
was. It was really trying. It

1335
01:31:20.319 --> 01:31:25.039
was really trying to push, it
was trying to get you there, trying

1336
01:31:25.119 --> 01:31:28.479
more than most episodes in season six
were. Yeah. So like even that

1337
01:31:28.600 --> 01:31:30.520
I put it, like, you
know, one of the better ones.

1338
01:31:30.600 --> 01:31:34.039
So, um, it's all great
great series? Is it a great series?

1339
01:31:35.039 --> 01:31:39.479
No, it's pretty good. It's
pretty good. It's good. It's

1340
01:31:39.479 --> 01:31:43.680
good. It is good. It's
solidly good. Yeah. But but and

1341
01:31:43.680 --> 01:31:45.760
and when it and when it really
gets going, it gets going. But

1342
01:31:46.359 --> 01:31:54.239
the problem is the goods are never
so sustained to out to outweigh how sustained

1343
01:31:54.319 --> 01:31:58.720
the bad gets a whole season of
a show being bad is is it's just

1344
01:31:58.720 --> 01:32:01.319
it's a it's it wasn't The final
season of the show it was the second

1345
01:32:01.319 --> 01:32:04.960
to last one for most shows those
Season six and then they did season seven,

1346
01:32:05.000 --> 01:32:08.520
Like I don't understand it. Season
six wasn't very good either. Yeah.

1347
01:32:08.560 --> 01:32:12.319
I don't want to pile on the
later portions the show anymore. I

1348
01:32:12.399 --> 01:32:16.760
just I'm glad we're done with it. Yeah, because because because of the

1349
01:32:16.760 --> 01:32:20.319
position they put us in. I'm
glad we're done with it. But um,

1350
01:32:20.760 --> 01:32:25.159
good god man, man, it
was death. I know I'm saying

1351
01:32:25.239 --> 01:32:29.199
now, I don't. Yeah,
there's just so there's so much good stuff,

1352
01:32:29.680 --> 01:32:31.760
so many, so much good stuff, even the ones that I think,

1353
01:32:31.800 --> 01:32:35.680
you know, we're passable skip or
like soft watches like those are still

1354
01:32:35.760 --> 01:32:39.159
fun. You know, you're not
gonna, yeah, you're not gonna really

1355
01:32:39.199 --> 01:32:45.239
waste your time for twenty odd minutes
watching some of them avoid everything we told

1356
01:32:45.239 --> 01:32:48.760
you to really avoid. And like
there's fifteen good episodes and there's ninety three

1357
01:32:49.359 --> 01:32:54.199
episodes overall. So it's about what
a terrible record, Jesus, Why did

1358
01:32:54.279 --> 01:32:58.520
you say that? I know it's
bad. Sing some praises here, I

1359
01:32:58.560 --> 01:33:00.000
mean, but that's again, that's
fifteen of the best. They're a while

1360
01:33:00.039 --> 01:33:03.000
in there that like, some people
are going to have very different opinions on

1361
01:33:03.039 --> 01:33:06.279
and they'll be close. But in
the other direction, you have an opportunity

1362
01:33:06.479 --> 01:33:11.560
if this ever sort of streams,
then I think we've given you a solid

1363
01:33:11.840 --> 01:33:15.920
list of Tennis from the Crypt episodes
that you should be investing your time in.

1364
01:33:16.680 --> 01:33:21.079
I would also encourage you to go
back and watch the Amicist production from

1365
01:33:21.159 --> 01:33:28.560
nineteen seventy one, the Tennis from
the Crypt movie really good Baltimore not as

1366
01:33:28.560 --> 01:33:31.479
good, but still got some good
stuff in it. Yeah. And you

1367
01:33:31.520 --> 01:33:35.159
know, here's something I don't think
I've said enough on the show. Go

1368
01:33:35.239 --> 01:33:39.119
back and read the fucking comics.
What's wrong with you? They're all available,

1369
01:33:39.159 --> 01:33:42.760
I mean you can. You can
get them online. And not only

1370
01:33:42.800 --> 01:33:48.439
are you getting nine times out of
tennis superior story and get original version of

1371
01:33:48.520 --> 01:33:53.680
an adaptation you've seen on the show, Yeah, you're you're also getting a

1372
01:33:53.760 --> 01:34:00.680
wealth of really great artwork by a
lot of really talented people who would go

1373
01:34:00.720 --> 01:34:03.319
on to inform you in ways that
you probably can't even fathom. Like,

1374
01:34:03.399 --> 01:34:06.000
you know, once you dig into
what these guys ended up doing. God

1375
01:34:06.000 --> 01:34:11.079
bless Alfalinstein, Marvel and DC,
all of these guys ended up over there,

1376
01:34:11.119 --> 01:34:14.119
you know, like there was no
way they couldn't people like Jack Davis

1377
01:34:14.239 --> 01:34:17.279
and Graham Angles and uh, oh
my god, I'm gonna blank on all

1378
01:34:17.319 --> 01:34:21.079
of them. Seemed like a fool
right now. But uh Jack Caman,

1379
01:34:21.159 --> 01:34:27.239
oh Jesus Christ so good. Even
you know, people like um what's his

1380
01:34:27.319 --> 01:34:31.119
name created mad magazine? He started
out and telling us from the crypt I

1381
01:34:31.119 --> 01:34:34.520
can't believe him. Oh really yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. But Alfredy

1382
01:34:34.640 --> 01:34:42.520
Newman, Yeah, Alfredy Newman,
the very same fucker. I mean,

1383
01:34:42.520 --> 01:34:45.319
it's not surprising, and I'm looking
it up. I'm looking at that up.

1384
01:34:45.399 --> 01:34:48.840
Actually, I advocate your decision.
Yeah, you know, uh go

1385
01:34:48.840 --> 01:34:53.039
go read the comic books, man, They're so good. Thanks for listening.

1386
01:34:53.079 --> 01:34:56.439
Ultimately, if you actually listen to
all of this, I'm sorry.

1387
01:34:57.439 --> 01:35:00.520
I'm very sorry, mister Canadian.
Now, yeah, that's why people got

1388
01:35:00.600 --> 01:35:04.960
there. They're gonna thank you're Canadian. Oh yeah, thanks for listening.

1389
01:35:05.039 --> 01:35:08.560
Really, like that was the one
thing the show didn't do. It was

1390
01:35:08.600 --> 01:35:11.279
like, thanks for you know,
being a fucking viewer. It's just like

1391
01:35:11.359 --> 01:35:15.840
later, fuck off, yeah,
um ignemonious to the end. We don't

1392
01:35:15.880 --> 01:35:20.560
give a fuck about you. Fuck
off by Yeah, okay, we cast

1393
01:35:20.600 --> 01:35:24.119
the check anyway. I don't want
to dwell on that. I don't want

1394
01:35:24.119 --> 01:35:28.520
to leave on that. I do
want to say one more time, good

1395
01:35:28.560 --> 01:35:32.319
show, and it works, it
works awesome, And uh, you know,

1396
01:35:32.920 --> 01:35:38.880
you kids out there, what you're
getting for horror these days. Yeah,

1397
01:35:38.880 --> 01:35:44.399
it's pretty good. But sometimes maybe
take a look back in unusual places

1398
01:35:44.439 --> 01:35:47.880
and stop adhering so much to the
crypt keeper and lionizing him is the only

1399
01:35:48.039 --> 01:35:51.079
thing that was good about that show, because um, a lot of really

1400
01:35:51.079 --> 01:35:55.920
talented people put in a lot of
good effort. And I don't want,

1401
01:35:55.960 --> 01:35:57.800
like I said, I don't want
to watch this show again anytime soon,

1402
01:35:57.800 --> 01:36:01.319
but I know I'm gonna watch these
same ten twelve fifteen episodes and uh,

1403
01:36:01.359 --> 01:36:04.760
and I'll enjoy them just as much
as I did initially. And I'm right

1404
01:36:04.800 --> 01:36:08.720
there with you. The ones we've
talked about are good. Again, this

1405
01:36:08.840 --> 01:36:11.560
show. I mean, it's ninety
three episodes. We're here at the end,

1406
01:36:11.640 --> 01:36:14.520
you know, we're fifty something episodes
at the end. It's over.

1407
01:36:15.039 --> 01:36:18.279
The show's over, you know.
And again, like you said, I

1408
01:36:18.359 --> 01:36:23.000
don't want to rewatch the show,
and it's entirety ever again, probably at

1409
01:36:23.000 --> 01:36:25.760
this point, given that I've almost
watched, I've watched it all the way

1410
01:36:25.760 --> 01:36:30.640
through now three times and a halftime
as well, so three and a half.

1411
01:36:30.159 --> 01:36:32.159
And look, if you're a fan
of the show, you've probably watched

1412
01:36:32.159 --> 01:36:34.439
it a lot more than I have. But if you're a fan of the

1413
01:36:34.439 --> 01:36:39.640
show, you're maybe not as critical
as we've been. Don't. Don't got

1414
01:36:39.840 --> 01:36:43.359
an insult, No, no,
I'm just saying like, there, you

1415
01:36:43.560 --> 01:36:45.640
may get it. There over some
of the stuff that we can't. Right,

1416
01:36:45.720 --> 01:36:48.359
there are shows that I like and
I know it's bad, and I'm

1417
01:36:48.399 --> 01:36:51.239
just like, I don't care.
It represents something else to me and I

1418
01:36:51.720 --> 01:36:55.920
get that. There's nothing wrong with
that. And and frankly again, I

1419
01:36:56.039 --> 01:37:00.119
understand why us being critical of the
show of something you of maybe upsetting.

1420
01:37:00.159 --> 01:37:04.279
But at the same time, our
hope is that there is another show or

1421
01:37:04.319 --> 01:37:08.159
something else in the future, and
our hope is that the next show that

1422
01:37:08.159 --> 01:37:12.600
comes out gives the people who are
making the show the best chance to be

1423
01:37:12.680 --> 01:37:15.560
successful as possible. Yeah, and
you you have to be critical of things

1424
01:37:16.680 --> 01:37:19.640
for people to make good things.
People don't just make good things in a

1425
01:37:19.720 --> 01:37:24.880
vacuum. Sometimes people need to know
what to avoid and what not to avoid,

1426
01:37:25.039 --> 01:37:28.039
and they need to look back at
the show and be critical because at

1427
01:37:28.039 --> 01:37:31.119
the end of the day. We
can't just let okay be okay. I

1428
01:37:31.119 --> 01:37:33.079
mean that was the thing about this
show, where it was like it's just

1429
01:37:33.159 --> 01:37:36.319
okay, and it's like, okay, it's just okay, but doesn't have

1430
01:37:36.399 --> 01:37:41.199
to be you don't have to rest
on okay. So you don't have to

1431
01:37:41.239 --> 01:37:44.600
stick. You know, like every
sitcom, like, you know, somebody

1432
01:37:44.600 --> 01:37:45.960
gets a funny line and now they're
just gonna say it over and over again.

1433
01:37:46.000 --> 01:37:50.199
And that's that. Don't do that. Don't yeah be better than that.

1434
01:37:50.640 --> 01:37:53.920
Yeah, and that's and that's the
thing. But the show, you

1435
01:37:53.920 --> 01:37:56.520
know, the show made a made
a lot of waves, and the show

1436
01:37:56.600 --> 01:38:00.760
is a whor anthology series. So
those ror anthology series are few and far

1437
01:38:00.840 --> 01:38:03.720
between. Yeah, I mean they
see to be a lot more lately.

1438
01:38:04.680 --> 01:38:10.199
Yeah, thanks for the web that
they're like full season ones now right,

1439
01:38:11.000 --> 01:38:13.479
Yeah, which is not the same
as this. Yeah, don't do that.

1440
01:38:13.680 --> 01:38:15.840
Stop doing that. Yeah, nobody
needs that. Your story is not

1441
01:38:15.960 --> 01:38:20.039
interesting enough for twelve episodes, just
to just do an anthology correctly, Yeah,

1442
01:38:20.079 --> 01:38:24.520
pick you pick your source material.
Well, and if to anyone,

1443
01:38:24.800 --> 01:38:27.800
if you're listening to this and you're
one of the people who's going to Spearhead

1444
01:38:27.840 --> 01:38:30.600
the next version of Tales from the
Crypt. I'm also going to adhere or

1445
01:38:30.640 --> 01:38:34.760
a sort of admonish YouTube. Please
go back and read the original source material,

1446
01:38:34.760 --> 01:38:39.239
and yeah, and make it better. Make it better. That's all.

1447
01:38:40.600 --> 01:38:43.600
So, father Malone, where can
people find you? You can find

1448
01:38:43.640 --> 01:38:46.560
me over at father Malone dot com. That's links to all of the crazy

1449
01:38:46.600 --> 01:38:50.960
stuff I do, including my podcast
Dark Destinations, which is a half hour

1450
01:38:51.039 --> 01:38:54.800
radio drama that I write and produce. You can also find the links at

1451
01:38:54.800 --> 01:38:58.800
father Malone dot com and plug it
twice for not only this show, but

1452
01:38:58.960 --> 01:39:01.079
the other show you mentioned, which
is Dreams for Sale, the Twilight Zone

1453
01:39:01.119 --> 01:39:06.119
eighty five podcast that Chris and I
do with the projection booths Mike White,

1454
01:39:06.399 --> 01:39:12.520
and that show is coming to an
end pretty quickly too. Yeah, don't

1455
01:39:12.560 --> 01:39:15.000
tell anyone. Yeah, that's another
show that just I'm enjoying it. It's

1456
01:39:15.159 --> 01:39:19.880
running to the end and a downhill, downhill plod. So as for me,

1457
01:39:20.039 --> 01:39:24.079
you can find me on the internet
at Christmas Clause on Twitter. Culture

1458
01:39:24.119 --> 01:39:27.079
Cast is another show I do,
and it's about movies and scary stories.

1459
01:39:27.159 --> 01:39:30.079
We Tell is a show that I
do about scary stuff weird, I know,

1460
01:39:30.439 --> 01:39:34.640
scary stories the title. Yeah,
Um, as for us, we

1461
01:39:34.680 --> 01:39:42.680
don't know what we're doing next.
Who knows another Horrinthology please said no one,

1462
01:39:43.319 --> 01:39:45.640
said no one. But we don't
know what we're doing next, so

1463
01:39:45.680 --> 01:39:47.520
we haven't really talked about it,
but as soon as we know, we'll

1464
01:39:47.560 --> 01:39:54.560
make it public on our Twitter and
Facebook and Instagram and this podcast will sit

1465
01:39:55.199 --> 01:39:59.359
and be there forever. So there
you go. One last John Cassier intro

1466
01:39:59.479 --> 01:40:00.359
to take us to the and DA