Welcome to another edition of fifty plus. I'm James la Junior. Today is
Benita's birthday. Today is my mother, my birth mother, mother who gave
birth to me, birthday. This is very interesting for me because I do
these videos, I do stuff. Before my mother and I didn't follow each
other on social media. I was very actually adamant about that. I want
my family separate from my work. Well it's too late. Now she found
me and it follows me. Not every page that I do, but it
follows me on some of my major things like TikTok, snapchats, my fan
page here on Facebook, and on my work page on Instagram. But in
some pages I have separate on purpose, not just from her but from family
members. I want my own space. But when you're in the public eye,
which is something that I'm learning as I've been in it for fifteen years,
that you lose autonomy, you lose space, you lose some of your
privacy. That's your online privacy, and that's about private privacy, but online
privacy. So it's funny when I sat down to do this video before,
she didn't she need these. I didn't have to worry about it. She
didn't watch them. Now she watches some of my stuff, so it's like,
do I censor myself or not? So I don't. I decided I'm
not gonna censor myself. I'm going to talk plainly and openly about whatever fun
I feel like it's right. That's what I do on all the stuff that
I do. I am who I am. I know that other fan members
who watched my stuff and sometimes comments and sometimes don't like the things I say
and signs. Do you like the things I say? Some don't care for
certain pictures I posed in. Some do, and I've had to learn to
shut it out. That's I don't the only person who goes through this,
obviously, It's just very interesting. Before I find free reign you or I
want, and I just tell them what I do if I feel like it.
But now that is God, it's very interesting. My mother and I
have a very esty relationship. She had me very young, so we always
joked that we kind of grew up together. She had me in late sixties,
raised me in seventies and eighties, which was an interesting time period for
all my whole gen Z gen Z excuse me wrong, jet X generation.
While she was finding herself, I was finding myself, which many parents.
The end of the time, she was I would say left behind. But
a divorce happened and she was with two young boys at one point, and
which which I just I can't even imagine what that's even like at first,
and then just and now we've gone to today where for twenty two years I
heard a smart who always gets shocked when I say that, Um, we
just didn't we never I would come home on occasion, but I was about
to find myself in my life and I had a full life. We went
to kind of family it just gets together all the time. And mother's not
a helicopter mom there like that, You're they were circling the things. And
we never had that kind of relationship. My family and I never had a
coind relationship. So I looked back and I'm like, from eighteen to forty,
I literally had free reign to do whatever the fuck I wanted without anybody
telling me anything. And I survived. I took care of myself most of
the most of that time, I did it without the help of family.
There are a few occasions here and I need to help here and there,
but for the most part, I'm very proud of myself. I had a
career, several careers, relationships, I raised children, I had grandchildren,
I had long time friends ships. Um well, it came to my family
just wasn't as on top of each other. But there's always been a stud
were family. That's something that I think I just always just knew we're family.
Still, We're family. She's my mother, I have siblings, I
have grandparents. Were still you know that kind of stuff. I've been home
fourteen years, make sure we fifteen and I came back home gleefully and happily.
It was my full own volition, which is a big word. Um,
and I've been back. It's been a very it's been a it's been
a roller coaster ride the last fourteen years. Some really fun times. I
think back in the early years I was here and I think I just feel
like it just seems much easier than just now. I seemed less stressed out
b than than I am now. It's so interesting, like it was,
yeah, we and with and with my mom because we were getting to really
kind of reno each other. And now she has a husband that I had
get to know the now Layton Moses. We got There was some there was
some real fun exploratory times for me getting to Los Angeles again. So yeah,
I was gone twenty two years and I come back here and there.
But like, I didn't know what it was like to live in Los Angeles
and Los Angeles so spread out. My mom was the one who helped me
learn about the South Bay area and all this whole southern part of southern la
Her and the area they hung out so and I make my love of this
part of the town comes from her. But I'm not that surprised. So
I think back on my life. Where I get my musical taste, where
I get my television taste, books, movies, mostly my mom. I
have a few things that other people my lower barber strive, sayking for my
aunt Sarah for one. My father had some small influence in music. But
when it comes to the culture, my brother and I both say it's Benita,
and I fully I'm glad about that. She played everything. She watched
everything from the absurd, from Soiling Green to Jaws to um things on you
know, high two things on TV to we read the books. Our bookshelves
were just full of books. My love of Ray Bradberry and Isaac Asthm often
um and rold Dal all these just all these classics game from her. Stephen
King over here became from her. You know, some James Passon gave her
um. She's she was somebody who influenced my life so much in many ways.
Now. The other thing, of course, that everybody, of course
comments on, is our looks. I'm very blessed to look like my mother.
I will completely admit that she looks really good for age um and for
the age. But let's be real, now, everybody looks good as they
get older. We try, I do get we can, we did,
but I have her face like I literally have her face like I literally have
her face. U. It is like no joke whatsoever. And I don't
think I always knew that, but I didn't realized I came home for the
last fourteen years that we laugh very similarly. Similarly, we have so much
similar cadence the way we talk, but we are different, our temperaments are
different. I'm much more out. She's a friendly, outgoing person people like
in situations, but I'm much more of a big, gregarious out there to
be seen. Put me on stage where she's not that at all. People
ask him all the time, you guys had a show together, we would
totally watch it. Well I would too. That's not what she wants to
do, see she's that's not her. I can't even get her and do
it in case. I get a little video occasionally here and there, But
anything more than that we would be gold. I mean I know for a
fact we'd be gold. And she goes to too. But some folks just
aren't built that way. But we've got in the streets. We will see
us. Last week las Year's Halloween was the best Holideen customer I could have
ever done. When I addressed as her. We had a good time doing
that. And so my life is I look in the mirror and I can
see her. You see my father, he said there too. I do
see him, but literally I'm her child, looks wise over the last five
months, which a song is out today called the Last five Months. It
was inspired by her, my stepdad and everything I've gone through as a caregiver.
The role that I had to play for my mother this year was very
different than the other. I do really come and step in along with my
brother in a field people own family and really helped them out physically as well
as emotionally, financially, we had we had to work it out. My
mother almost died. I had to talk to her about that later. She
didn't realize how serious I guess it was, which was because she's had to
fied for a life. But we were literally saying goodbye to her. The
doctors were telling us it was the stats they give. You guys know I
talked about on the show. I talked about Live. You guys have been
through this journey with me. I thought my life I was going to lose
my mother, and that's something that I still haven't fully comprehended yet. I
haven't still, I've been still, I'm still so busy and in it that
I haven't had chance to feel any of the emotions. Um, it's a
it's a it's a crazy thing to go through that. Because I told my
siblings, I was like, well, now that we've had these discussions and
have faced it, we can face anything. At this point, we are
all changed by it. I could tell she is back. I had to
care gift for her. That was a life changing experience. Um, she's
doing much better. We're still overseeing her. So she's now part of my
check in if I don't see every day. I don't check in life because
I have to work. I'm we're not rich. I have to work,
I have to do stuff. I'm entrepreneurs so there's things I just can't do.
But again, I would never change anything. I would do it over
again. If something happened, I still do it. But it's very interesting
that this year was a real she lost her husband. We almost lost her,
so we're having this very interesting year. To say that, he said
they were still figuring it all out. Now she's living life on her own.
What would dog Lucy? Of course, we love Lucy, you know,
I guess in the end as I kind of wrapped this up because I
want to ramble on so that I do love her very much. We fight
with us because my nerves. Many times. I'm sure I bothered her if
I got on her nerves. Sure, but it's family, and it's it's
a close part of the family. That again I dropped my eye. She's
in trouble, I drop everything. It doesn't matter. It's how it is
saved. My brother, saved, my sisters, save for the kids and
grandkids. If they were seriously in trouble. Everything gets dropped and you'd help.
I'm curious to see what the rest of our lives happened now that we
have you. Something serious like this with the rest of our lives will bring.
And of course, if I'm still doing this, you'll probably know because
I'm probably tell you. But hey, birthday, miss Panito. You are
here, and we are here. I'm going to see you. I'm probably
with you right now. This is out there to the world. I love
you, and I love all of you for helping me express myself on a
show like this fifty plus and I will talk to you again soon