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Welcome to another edition of fifty plus. I'm James la Junior. Today is

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Benita's birthday. Today is my mother, my birth mother, mother who gave

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birth to me, birthday. This
is very interesting for me because I do

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these videos, I do stuff.
Before my mother and I didn't follow each

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other on social media. I was
very actually adamant about that. I want

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my family separate from my work.
Well it's too late. Now she found

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me and it follows me. Not
every page that I do, but it

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follows me on some of my major
things like TikTok, snapchats, my fan

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page here on Facebook, and on
my work page on Instagram. But in

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some pages I have separate on purpose, not just from her but from family

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members. I want my own space. But when you're in the public eye,

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which is something that I'm learning as
I've been in it for fifteen years,

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that you lose autonomy, you lose
space, you lose some of your

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privacy. That's your online privacy,
and that's about private privacy, but online

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privacy. So it's funny when I
sat down to do this video before,

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she didn't she need these. I
didn't have to worry about it. She

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didn't watch them. Now she watches
some of my stuff, so it's like,

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do I censor myself or not?
So I don't. I decided I'm

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not gonna censor myself. I'm going
to talk plainly and openly about whatever fun

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I feel like it's right. That's
what I do on all the stuff that

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I do. I am who I
am. I know that other fan members

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who watched my stuff and sometimes comments
and sometimes don't like the things I say

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and signs. Do you like the
things I say? Some don't care for

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certain pictures I posed in. Some
do, and I've had to learn to

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shut it out. That's I don't
the only person who goes through this,

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obviously, It's just very interesting.
Before I find free reign you or I

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want, and I just tell them
what I do if I feel like it.

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But now that is God, it's
very interesting. My mother and I

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have a very esty relationship. She
had me very young, so we always

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joked that we kind of grew up
together. She had me in late sixties,

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raised me in seventies and eighties,
which was an interesting time period for

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all my whole gen Z gen Z
excuse me wrong, jet X generation.

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While she was finding herself, I
was finding myself, which many parents.

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The end of the time, she
was I would say left behind. But

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a divorce happened and she was with
two young boys at one point, and

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which which I just I can't even
imagine what that's even like at first,

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and then just and now we've gone
to today where for twenty two years I

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heard a smart who always gets shocked
when I say that, Um, we

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just didn't we never I would come
home on occasion, but I was about

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to find myself in my life and
I had a full life. We went

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to kind of family it just gets
together all the time. And mother's not

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a helicopter mom there like that,
You're they were circling the things. And

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we never had that kind of relationship. My family and I never had a

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coind relationship. So I looked back
and I'm like, from eighteen to forty,

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I literally had free reign to do
whatever the fuck I wanted without anybody

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telling me anything. And I survived. I took care of myself most of

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the most of that time, I
did it without the help of family.

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There are a few occasions here and
I need to help here and there,

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but for the most part, I'm
very proud of myself. I had a

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career, several careers, relationships,
I raised children, I had grandchildren,

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I had long time friends ships.
Um well, it came to my family

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just wasn't as on top of each
other. But there's always been a stud

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were family. That's something that I
think I just always just knew we're family.

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Still, We're family. She's my
mother, I have siblings, I

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have grandparents. Were still you know
that kind of stuff. I've been home

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fourteen years, make sure we fifteen
and I came back home gleefully and happily.

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It was my full own volition,
which is a big word. Um,

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and I've been back. It's been
a very it's been a it's been

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a roller coaster ride the last fourteen
years. Some really fun times. I

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think back in the early years I
was here and I think I just feel

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like it just seems much easier than
just now. I seemed less stressed out

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b than than I am now.
It's so interesting, like it was,

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yeah, we and with and with
my mom because we were getting to really

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kind of reno each other. And
now she has a husband that I had

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get to know the now Layton Moses. We got There was some there was

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some real fun exploratory times for me
getting to Los Angeles again. So yeah,

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I was gone twenty two years and
I come back here and there.

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But like, I didn't know what
it was like to live in Los Angeles

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and Los Angeles so spread out.
My mom was the one who helped me

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learn about the South Bay area and
all this whole southern part of southern la

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Her and the area they hung out
so and I make my love of this

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part of the town comes from her. But I'm not that surprised. So

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I think back on my life.
Where I get my musical taste, where

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I get my television taste, books, movies, mostly my mom. I

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have a few things that other people
my lower barber strive, sayking for my

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aunt Sarah for one. My father
had some small influence in music. But

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when it comes to the culture,
my brother and I both say it's Benita,

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and I fully I'm glad about that. She played everything. She watched

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everything from the absurd, from Soiling
Green to Jaws to um things on you

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know, high two things on TV
to we read the books. Our bookshelves

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were just full of books. My
love of Ray Bradberry and Isaac Asthm often

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um and rold Dal all these just
all these classics game from her. Stephen

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King over here became from her.
You know, some James Passon gave her

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um. She's she was somebody who
influenced my life so much in many ways.

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Now. The other thing, of
course, that everybody, of course

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comments on, is our looks.
I'm very blessed to look like my mother.

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I will completely admit that she looks
really good for age um and for

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the age. But let's be real, now, everybody looks good as they

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get older. We try, I
do get we can, we did,

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but I have her face like I
literally have her face like I literally have

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her face. U. It is
like no joke whatsoever. And I don't

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think I always knew that, but
I didn't realized I came home for the

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last fourteen years that we laugh very
similarly. Similarly, we have so much

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similar cadence the way we talk,
but we are different, our temperaments are

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different. I'm much more out.
She's a friendly, outgoing person people like

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in situations, but I'm much more
of a big, gregarious out there to

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be seen. Put me on stage
where she's not that at all. People

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ask him all the time, you
guys had a show together, we would

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totally watch it. Well I would
too. That's not what she wants to

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do, see she's that's not her. I can't even get her and do

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it in case. I get a
little video occasionally here and there, But

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anything more than that we would be
gold. I mean I know for a

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fact we'd be gold. And she
goes to too. But some folks just

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aren't built that way. But we've
got in the streets. We will see

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us. Last week las Year's Halloween
was the best Holideen customer I could have

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ever done. When I addressed as
her. We had a good time doing

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that. And so my life is
I look in the mirror and I can

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see her. You see my father, he said there too. I do

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see him, but literally I'm her
child, looks wise over the last five

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months, which a song is out
today called the Last five Months. It

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was inspired by her, my stepdad
and everything I've gone through as a caregiver.

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The role that I had to play
for my mother this year was very

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different than the other. I do
really come and step in along with my

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brother in a field people own family
and really helped them out physically as well

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as emotionally, financially, we had
we had to work it out. My

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mother almost died. I had to
talk to her about that later. She

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didn't realize how serious I guess it
was, which was because she's had to

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fied for a life. But we
were literally saying goodbye to her. The

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doctors were telling us it was the
stats they give. You guys know I

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talked about on the show. I
talked about Live. You guys have been

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through this journey with me. I
thought my life I was going to lose

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my mother, and that's something that
I still haven't fully comprehended yet. I

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haven't still, I've been still,
I'm still so busy and in it that

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I haven't had chance to feel any
of the emotions. Um, it's a

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it's a it's a crazy thing to
go through that. Because I told my

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siblings, I was like, well, now that we've had these discussions and

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have faced it, we can face
anything. At this point, we are

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all changed by it. I could
tell she is back. I had to

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care gift for her. That was
a life changing experience. Um, she's

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doing much better. We're still overseeing
her. So she's now part of my

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check in if I don't see every
day. I don't check in life because

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I have to work. I'm we're
not rich. I have to work,

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I have to do stuff. I'm
entrepreneurs so there's things I just can't do.

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But again, I would never change
anything. I would do it over

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again. If something happened, I
still do it. But it's very interesting

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that this year was a real she
lost her husband. We almost lost her,

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so we're having this very interesting year. To say that, he said

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they were still figuring it all out. Now she's living life on her own.

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What would dog Lucy? Of course, we love Lucy, you know,

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I guess in the end as I
kind of wrapped this up because I

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want to ramble on so that I
do love her very much. We fight

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with us because my nerves. Many
times. I'm sure I bothered her if

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I got on her nerves. Sure, but it's family, and it's it's

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a close part of the family.
That again I dropped my eye. She's

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in trouble, I drop everything.
It doesn't matter. It's how it is

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saved. My brother, saved,
my sisters, save for the kids and

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grandkids. If they were seriously in
trouble. Everything gets dropped and you'd help.

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I'm curious to see what the rest
of our lives happened now that we

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have you. Something serious like this
with the rest of our lives will bring.

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And of course, if I'm still
doing this, you'll probably know because

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I'm probably tell you. But hey, birthday, miss Panito. You are

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here, and we are here.
I'm going to see you. I'm probably

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with you right now. This is
out there to the world. I love

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you, and I love all of
you for helping me express myself on a

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show like this fifty plus and I
will talk to you again soon