Andy cancelit so high Ectasage Cancelgema. It's not sorry Andy, what's up?
Positive bitches? How are we doing today? If you're hearing this episode,
then you were meant to be here, So keep listening on that Bitch's Positive
Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh. At other times, Baby Girl, we're
gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling our most empowered positive bitch
self. That is Babe in true connection with herself. On this podcast,
we unbecome who we are not so we can fully step into exactly who we
came here to be. Today, we're following this month's theme of self love.
It's fabru Ray, so it's all about you, you and you.
The interesting thing about ourself and healing is we can do a lot on our
own, but you know what allows us to heal even deeper, it's when
we get into relationships with others. I could have never understood that I dealt
with codependency and anxious attachment if it was not being triggered in a relationship.
We can do a lot of the healing on our own, but we might
not know what to heal, what needs healing, and what our triggers are.
If there's not someone out there triggering those wounds. Our relationships, we
know that they are not going to be all butterflies and rainbows. Relationships are
meant to trigger us deeper into our own healing because they are a mirror for
ourselves and not just the light aspects, but the dark. And as a
positive bitch, we know we don't run from our darkness. We dance with
it. We look at it so we can heal through it. Our darkness
is sacred and it's something that when we look at we can transmute, alchemize,
and use it to become a more powerful individual. Recently, I've been
watching Love is Blind, and I've been seeing all these different relationship dynamics really
play out. And if you don't watch Love is Blind or you haven't yet,
don't worry. We are going to use Love is Blind to talk about
certain concepts when it comes to dating. But if you don't know the couples
or the people, I'm going to explain it anyway, so you won't have
to worry. I also recently watch that j Lo music video, except for
the fact that it's an hour long called this is Me Now, and we're
going to be pulling some concepts from that as well. But today we're going
to talk about not only attachment and love and dating, but ultimately how to
choose our self. One of you positive bitches, I was talking on Instagram
and you can follow me there at Vibe with Cci. I said, what
are you positive bitches thinking about love is blind so far? And one of
you said that love isn't blind, attachment is, and that is just gold.
And that is why it's going to be the title for this podcast because
that couldn't be closer to the truth. Love isn't blind, Love is kind,
love is truth, love is passion. It's not blind. You know
what is though, is attachment. When we're attached to someone, we don't
care they're cheating on us, they're mistreating us, we don't care because we're
attached to them. Anyway. Love is not blind, Attachment is. And
we're going to talk about how we can choose ourself so our attachment stops choosing
our triggers for us. But before we get into it, like I said,
if you're not yet following me on Instagram, follow me at VIBEINWCC.
That will be in the show notes below, so you can just click in
there to find my Instagram and why even follow me? I post daily tips
and tricks on how to use your energy so it doesn't just use you,
and how to reclaim your reality. If you're going through a breakup, join
twenty one day Breakup Glow Up Challenge, where you can learn how to get
back on that pedestal and of course glow up stop obsessing about your ex and
your past and instead get into yourself. You can also get the Pedestal Path,
which is based on the pedestal principle, which we talk about a lot
on this podcast, and in this course you can learn not only how to
put yourself on the pedestal, but how to stop energetically chasing, how to
heal these codependent wounds, and so much more. All this will be in
the show, and if you're looking for more intimate guidance, I am a
certified life and energy coach. You can DM me on Instagram for more information
on how I may be able to help you. And without further ado,
let's get into today's episode. I have gone to many nutritionists throughout my lifetime,
many and you know the one thing that they all said in unison was
never wait until you're starving. To eat because you will overeat. And this
actually one day did happen to me. I was doing inter minute fasting,
but I had a very busy day. I wasn't home and it hit like
five pm or something like that, and I went to the supermarket because I
thought to myself, I just need to eat anything in something, because I'm
starving. I go into the supermarket. I'm in the supermarket. I start
filling up my cart with everything, just everything. I don't eat things.
I would never think of eating things. I didn't even know what they were.
But I was just so hungry that I started filling up my cart.
I ripped open a bag of something and literally started eating it in the store
because I was so hungry. And when I got home and I looked at
my counter and I just saw five five five on the clock. Change is
here. When I got home and looked at the counter and saw what I
bought, I thought, Ceci, why would you buy any of this food.
You don't eat it. You don't eat gluten, you don't eat dairy.
I'm pretty sure I was a vegan at the time. You don't eat
whatever it was. Maybe there was cheesing it, I don't remember. And
I thought to myself, I was so hungry that I dropped my boundaries of
what I liked to eat, how I feel about food and chemicals. I
dropped my standards and I just let anything and everything into my car. And
it got me thinking about dating. When we're starving for love, when we're
starving for validation, when we're starving for someone to see us, we drop
our boundaries, we drop our standards, we drop ourselves and become obsessed with
them. And ultimately, when I ate this food afterwards, I felt sick.
I ate too much because I waited too long, so I was so
hungry and I ended up feeling sick. And what do we do when we're
starving for validations, starving for love, starving for someone to see us.
We end up getting played, we end up getting ghosted, We end up
feeling sick of men and dating. The moral of the story is what we
don't give to our selves, we will starve for in other people. And
there's a quote that says something along the lines of, if you're not fed
love on a silver spoon, you will learn to live get off of knives.
When we are starving for that love, for that validation, we end
up ghosting ourselves, and all this leads to is other people ghosting us too.
If you're wondering when is a good time to date, when is a
good time to go on love is blind and get married, it's not.
When you're starving and needing someone to affirm your own identity, you want to
walk into a relationship in dating not being perfect. You don't need that,
but you need to have some sort of identity. You need to say,
yeah, you know what, I would like a connection. That would be
cool. It would bring me some more fulfillment. But either way, I'm
good. There's nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, wanting love, wanting a
partner. However, when you need it, that is the exact moment that
you're inner being is actually trying to tell you what you need is not that
person out there, it's you. It's you to start fulfilling your own needs.
If you are starving for love and attention and affection, you need to
start asking yourself, how can I give affection to myself? How can I
give an intimate moment to myself? Intimacy with ourself? You might be thinking,
how is that even possible? It is the most intimate moments I have
with myself is in prayer, in meditation, when I'm journaling and I have
this deep realization about my past and who I am and why I am the
way I am. I have intimate moments with myself when I turn off social
media, when I turn off my computer and I just sit outside by the
water and I just read, or I just talk to my angels. If
you want to feel intimacy before you go running to get it from someone else
and drop your standards for that person because you're starving and you need it,
what about giving it to your self. Not only will this cause you to
have better relationships later, but you will feel immediately better now. If you
are starving for validation, use your tongue when you achieve something at work.
Good job, CC, when you make your bed, Good job, CC.
When you do that workout, I'm proud of you for accomplishing that today,
CC. Be impeccable with your word. I know that we think that
we can only get these needs fulfilled by other people, but surprisingly enough,
you can fulfill these needs yourself. And when you fulfill them yourself, all
you do is attractive partner who will fulfill them too. Even ask yourself,
what is my preferred love language? Is it words of affirmation? Okay,
you need to be doing affirmations every single day? Is it acts of service?
This is something I was working on with one of my clients and we
were discussing, how what if you actually gave yourself that act of service?
What if instead of putting off doing the dishes or cleaning your house or your
room, you said, I'm gonna do it for fifteen minutes to forty five
minutes. I'm going to get this done so that for the rest of the
night I can just chill and I can relax. You can gift yourself the
things that you need. And when you do that, literally your whole entire
universe. I promise you will get better. It's the law of the land.
I don't make the rules, but I do read the writing on the
wall. In Love is Blind. If you've been watching, and I have
to say side note, if you're healing from a breakup. One of my
weird, quote unquote weird ways I healed during my breakup was watching Temptation Island
and I would just watch these girls. It was crazy. I was just
watching this girl getting blatantly cheated on and then she would have to watch back
the footage of her partner cheating on her, and I would just cry with
this girl on TV. Sometimes we don't allow ourselves to feel our own emotions
because we've been told you're too sensitive, you're too dramatic, and so we
have this internal voice that says, be stronger, go do your work,
don't allow yourself to feel. And for me, watching dating reality television gave
me this permission. It made me feel like they're crying. I feel for
them, and I'm also going through my own trials. I'm gonna cry in
unison with this person and I would watch them and I would just cry with
them, and it really helps me move through my emotions. If you are
going through something that's tough, I would recommend dating reality television to heal.
No one's gonna tell you that, but for whatever reason, it really does
work. It gives you permission to feel, It allows those emotions to be
triggered, felt and released. So maybe try out Love is Blind. There
is a woman on this show named Chelsea and there's two guys who she's dating
in the pods. One guy is Trevor, who is obsessed with her,
all about her, giving her all this attention and affection and love. He
says, I love you, I want you. He's also a big muscle
man. I'm just saying. She doesn't know that, but I do because
I'm the viewer. And then there's this other guy, Jimmy. Who is
he is? Who he is? You know, I don't. I'm gonna
be kind, so he just is who he is. And Jimmy is in
between Chelsea and some other girl he's not sure about Chelsea. But Chelsea really
likes Trevor, the guy who's obsessed with her, and she also really likes
Jimmy for some unknown reason. I don't I don't know. I don't get
it. I don't get it, Okay, but you know what, it's
not for me to get, it's for me to talk about. So let's
get into this. So also another side note, Trevor, who is this
big muscling man? Can I just tell you everyone on social media is like,
don't judge a book by its cover. Trevor. I thought he was
gonna be so surface level annoying whatever, you know what. I have been
thinking this whole entire time while I'm watching Trevor. I one of the gyms
I go to is a bodybuilder gym. Again, I always say this.
I don't know why I go there. I have no idea, but I
do. You know what they call all the big muscling men gentle giants,
because these men who all they care about is working out and their job and
their family. They are the kindest souls on this planet. They really are,
because like I said, all they care about is what they look like
in the mirror, so they're not looking at other ladies because they're too busy
looking at themselves. They don't go out because they're on these strict meal plans,
so they don't drink. They care about their family if they have one,
and they always have a dog. Somehow. They are the kindest people.
So everyone's now realizing this about Trevor. But this is something I've always
known because all the bodybuilders at the gym that I go to are exactly like
him. They're all gentle giants. Maybe this is a rebranding for the muscle
men. I don't know, but just side note in there. So Chelsea's
deciding between beautiful, loving, gracious Trevor and Jimmy who is Jimmy, and
she decides to go with Jimmy, and so many people on social media are
saying, why would Chelsea choose to go with Jimmy when there's this other guy
who's obsessed with her? And it got me thinking, why do any of
us choose the guy that's just not that into us over the guy who wants
to give us the world? This is repetition compulsion in its truest form.
Whoever we crave love from the most growing up, whatever caregiver we crave love
from the most growing up, we will subconsciously try to redo this dynamic in
our adult relationships, hoping to master that original dynamic. So let's say we
always craved love from our mother, but our mom was always working and she
wasn't able to really be there for us physically and really not there emotionally for
us either. What we do is subconsciously, in our adult intimate relationships,
will seek out people who are workaholics, who are alcoholics, anyone who maybe
they're even a player, anyone who cannot be there for us emotionally and or
physically. We will seek that person out because we're trying to redo that original
dynamic, but this time as an adult with more power and more agency.
This time, we're gonna get it right. And all this does is retraumatize
ourselves. Our trauma that we had with that original caregiver becomes our type.
And most of the time when we're going through breakups or in these relationships,
it's not actually about the dude. He's not actually that great. It's about
the dynamic the dude allows us to have because our inner child still lives within
us and she's still looking for that love that she perceives that that caregiver couldn't
give to her. So if she gonna get it from mom or dad,
what is she gonna do. She's gonna try to get it from people who
you have intimate relationships with. And all we do is repeat this dynamic over
and over and over again. So if this is you, baby girl,
it's time to try a new flavor. We have to choose to step out
of this repetition, this compulsion to repeat the dynamic over and over and over
again. How do you do this? One way to do this is,
instead of going towards what you're attracted to, ask yourself, what do I
value in a relationship? Do I value someone who wants to be a family
man, who has a relationship with God who can see me, hear me,
be there for me. I mean really, at the end of the
day, let's say you're married, you have three kids. It's not gonna
matter if your husband has abs, if he can't be there for you emotionally,
cause you're gonna have days where you're gonna have that breakdown. And yes,
breakdowns are breakthroughs, but you're gonna want someone there for you. We
all do. Instead of just relying on what am I chemically attracted to,
I want you to start relying on, actually, what do I value?
And make a list and you need to be reminding yourself of this list every
single day. Do I value a partner who's patient and kind, who understands
spirituality, psychology, a relationship with God works out, whatever it may be.
Write it down which I value and use those values as you're north star
in instead of just relying on chemistry, Because what is chemistry but a bunch
of chemicals that are just going off in your head. Chemistry is you picking
up on trauma. Chemistry is chemicals going off in your head, dopamine in
cortisol. This is a new opportunity for me to try to redo that dynamic
I had with the caregiver. I craved love from the most, but this
time, as an adult, get it right in this intimate relationship. That
excitement that I need this person, I love this person, but I don't
even know this person is chemistry and it's a chemical cocktail. It's not love.
Chemistry is blind. Attachment is blind. Love Love is not blind.
No. No. Another interesting takeaway I got from Love Is Blind is when
ad who is another woman on the show, AD stands for Amber Desiree.
I believe. She was talking about how she doesn't believe she's worthy of love,
she doesn't think she deserves love, and Clay, who she's with,
was saying, well why, like, why don't you think that? And
she said, I manifested a good career. She was a dancer for some
I don't know, some sports team. Don't ask me about sports, Like
do I look like I know about sports? I obviously don't. Anyway,
she was a dancer for some team, and she said a lot of people
liked her because of what she looked like versus who she actually is, and
she was able to build a good life besides the relationship part. She said,
because I don't have love in my life, but I got everything else.
I think I deserve everything else. I don't think I deserve love.
Though. The mistake that Ad is making is she's waiting on her reality to
affirm to her what her inner being already knows. She's waiting for her reality
to shift to show her that she's worthy of love instead of first deciding that
she's worthy of love, which then and the universe will respond to and give
her that relationship where she feels worthy of love. You know, the interesting
thing is there's always one in every season, but of course this one happens
to be with Ad. Clay is the only person that they showed at least
that was talking about his what he wants and looks. He was saying,
you know, I need a girl a big He does not have this accent.
I don't know where this is coming from, but he was saying,
I need a girl who has like big lips, booty bad And Ad does
have that, by the way, but he was the only one leading with
that and saying if she doesn't have that, I can't get down on one
knee. If she doesn't look like that, I can't get down on one
knee. And he also said that after his future wife has a baby,
that he's gonna get her back in the gym. He is the only person
thus far that has talked a lot about what his partner has to look like.
First of all, that's an insecurity in hisself that he's projecting on a
d But more importantly, why would Ad out of everyone attract the person who's
so obsessed with what his partner looks like. It's because she thinks that her
only redeeming quality is her looks and that's the only possible way that she can
really get someone to be with her, and that she's not deserving of love
just on her own. So what does she do but attract the guy who
also thinks so heavily about looks. Ad has not realized that once she changes
how she believes about herself, the universe and five five five again on the
freaking clock. It's a timer, not o'clock. She doesn't realize that once
she changes her and what are we talking about but change? And I see
five five five? Oh? Of course, of course, once she changes
how she feels about herself and how she perceives herself, other people will shift
how they perceive her too. So how can we start to shift our beliefs.
Take out a piece of paper and write down all the negative beliefs do
you have about yourself? Just write it down. Write it down, And
then I want you to take out another piece of paper and write the exact
opposite statement. So let's say I write down I don't think I'm deserving of
love. On the other piece of paper, you're gonna write, I am
deserving of love. I feel deserving of love. I love how much love
I receive in my reality. I gave you three, but you can.
You can just do one if you want. And then what you're gonna do
is rip up all the negative beliefs, throw them out, and you're gonna
use that new list as affirmations that you're gonna repeat to yourself every single day.
And when you start believing this about yourself, and by the way,
you will believe it. If you're reading these affirmations right now and you're like
Cecee, I don't think this and I don't believe it, you will because
practicing a belief, a thought, a sentence anchors it into your being.
What is a belief, It's a practiced thought, It's a thought you thought
so many times that it wired into your body and now has become a belief.
Most of our beliefs are not fact, they're beliefs. Most of what
we think are facts are also not facts. They're also just beliefs. We
grow up and we hear a lot of different things, a lot of different
things, and we, as a child assume, well, if my mom
is saying that, if my teacher is saying that, if that's what the
adults are saying, it must be true. No, you want a different
reality than you gotta giddy on up on a new path, and you gotta
write down the beliefs that you want. So take your pen back, turn
the page and write a new chapter. Write the beliefs you want to have
what you want to see in your reality. At this point, the damage
from other people's already done. But you can take back your power by rewriting
the rules for your own life. That is all in your power to do.
Circling back to Chelsea and Jimmy, Chelsea being the one who chose the
guy who wasn't really sure about her but picked her, but the whole entire
time was questioning whether it to be Chelsea or Jess. When Jimmy sees Chelsea.
He is shocked because in the Pods, Chelsea said that people tell her
that she looks like Megan Fox because she has dark hair and blue eyes.
But of course Jimmy thought, oh, you look exactly like Megan Fox.
I have to be honest, though, if I was in the Pods,
I would be like, I look like Shrek. That's what I look like.
So no matter what, when I am shown and revealed, no matter
what, it's better than Shrek. I don't know who in their right mind
would be like, oh, I look like someone who doesn't even look like
themselves, like Megan Fox. Doesn't even look like Megan Fox. She has
a wardrobe stylist, she has makeup and hair and doctors. If we're being
honest, just what I I question that decision. I understand maybe she's just
throwing it all out there seeing what works. But she didn't say that to
Trevor, the guy who is actually into her. Okay, I don't have
time to spiral about this right now. I would have just said I looked
like Shrek. That way, It's owe me up from there. But this
is the other thing I want to talk about with beliefs. So Chelsea definitely
has some insecurities. Hello, we all do. And her saying that she
looks like Megan Fox, who would even say that? That is her subconsciously
creating a dynamic in which now she has to live up to Megan Fox,
creating a dynamic in which she's going to feel insecure. Jimmy, when they
all met, said something about Ad like she's stacked, which apparently means I
think he means you have a big butt. I don't. I've never heard
this terminology before. Jimmy says Ad is stacked, and then Chelsea out loud
announces to everyone Jimmy thinks you're stacked, Ad. Chelsea creates more circumstances to
feel more insecure in like if she never mentioned the Megan Fox thing, she
wouldn't have to live up to that image. If she didn't announce to everyone
that Jimmy said that about a d she wouldn't have made herself even more uncomfortable.
Jimmy should have not said that. That was disrespectful anyway. You just
met this girl. You don't need to be talking about someone else's looks.
You just met each other, but still to blow it up and out of
proportion in the moment. When we have insecure rittise, we will subconsciously make
matters worse or carve out moments in our day to make us feel even more
insecure. We will become hyper focused on someone we think has more than us.
We will attract someone who's going to tell something negative about ourselves. We
attract experiences that allow us to have the same emotional outcomes. So if I'm
already insecure, I'm going to attract more circumstances to feel insecure. So instead
of trying to force matter with matter and trying to change people out there and
cir circumstance out there, work on yourself. Whatever you think is a perceived
weakness about yourself, how can you make it a strength? What can you
do? Can you drink more water, read more books, learn a new
language. If you feel insecure that you don't have that many friends, well
maybe join a class. If you feel insecure about your body, try taking
a walk every day or drinking more water. If you feel insecure about your
style, try out a new one. There are things you can do.
If you feel like you don't have enough wisdom, read a damn book.
You can choose whatever your insecure about and you can change these things. You
don't just have to accept them. You can change them and strengthen those muscles.
Another thing that is worth mentioning is Jess is someone on the show and
this was actually the person that Jimmy was also interested in. When Jimmy turned
down Jess, I think a lot of people were shocked. But here's what
I'll have to say. Jess is a mom and that's just something about her.
But anyway, she gave Jimmy a letter that she wrote to her future
husband, and I swear that was the nail on the coffin, because anything
we chase, whether it's a bugger or boy, will run away. And
her giving him this really emotion in depth letter when he didn't even commit to
her yet, that was sending way too much energy too soon. He was
already iffy about her. But that nail in the coffin. Nail in the
coffin, how can we use this to help ourselves? I would equate that
long letter that Jess wrote to her future husband and then gave to Jimmy even
though he wasn't sure about her yet, to like a really long winded text
after you go on a date with someone. I like you so much,
I can't I'm thinking about you or texting them first every day, those actions,
stalking their social media, that's all energetically chasing them. And when someone
isn't sure about you yet, that repels them because you're like the bowling ball
and they're like the pins and they're just being repelled in the opposite direction.
You want it to be like a tennis match, where you send some energy
and they send some energy, and you send some energy and they send some
energy, and eventually you do that long enough you learn one another, you
understand one another, that the dynamic won't be so I have to think about
where I'm placing my energy. But at first, yeah, it should be
very much like a tennis match, or else you're gonna repel that person.
I feel like if Jess would have stood on her pedestal a little bit more
and not given all of her focus just to Jimmy and gave either more people
a chance, or didn't just give up all of her energy to Jimmy,
it would have been different for her. And when you think about Chelsea,
Chelsea was talking to Trevor and Jimmy. All of her energy wasn't just on
one person. It was on I'm gonna find the best person for me,
and what ended up happening is Jimmy chose her. And it goes to show
you that when you're focused on you finding who it is you want, but
not displacing yourself, you get all the options. But when we place that
other person on a pedestal and we pour our guts out to them when they're
not even sure about us, that's decentering ourselves. That's energetically chasing them.
I tell my clients to deal with anxious attachment at first, date multiple people
at once, because if you don't, and you tend towards anxious attachment,
you will pedestal that person so quickly, give all of your energy to them,
and it will just repel them. Watch out for this. Make sure
I don't care if you're dating, in a relationship, single, you're on
your own pedestal all of the time period. So I think if Jess didn't
do that letter, I would have in an alternate universe. I would love
to know how that would have unfolded. Side note Also, this is not
really having to do with today's topic, but I just love this show so
much and I need to mention it. There is a man on this show
called Matthew and he is a wealth advisor. I don't know how to explain
this man. He's a very private man. He doesn't have Instagram or any
of that jazz apparently. And I've just been thinking lately. I know that
US women have had such a revolt against men on Instagram and social media because
we're like, no, stop following half naked women, what are you doing?
But there's another side, the flip side of this coin are the men
who are so private. They don't have Instagram, they don't have anything.
They're so private and calculated that they're not hiding the DM or someone that they
follow, they're hiding their second family and it. You know, I just
feel that there's a middle way, Like just because a man has an Instagram
doesn't make him evil. You know, maybe he's just posting his little fishy
that he got, or him and his friends in his little flannel. Maybe
that's not so bad because at least we can see what's going on, you
know, what's happening. But without anything, they can have a full second
family. And there's a very specific type I'm talking about, these men who
are just very secretive it's almost suspicious. That's just a side note. Anyway,
Let's get into the j loo of it all, shall we. So
Jlo put out this. It reminds me of Beyonce's Lemonade album, how she
did a visual album. I love pretty much do the same thing, and
the whole entire time it was kind of making fun of herself how she's like
addicted to relationships and love. But it had a couple of really key moments
that we can learn from here. One line from it that I really liked
is the stars can speak their minds, but what is in the deepest of
your heart is ultimately what's manifesting in your life or what manifests itself. And
this is so true. It doesn't matter about their zodiac sign or what's happening
or what's going on out there. What matters is what's in your heart,
what's in your body, what's in your mind. That is what always manifests.
Your heart is like sixty times stronger than your head. So whatever you're
broadcasting emotionally on a daily basis is what you're going to attract more of.
If you're attracting I don't feel good enough and I need someone else. In
my life, you're going to attract people who make you feel not good enough.
But if you're broadcasting, I'm fine on my own. I love myself
even I love myself and I want a loving partner. You'll attract someone who's
loving, But we have to be giving that love to ourselves. What's the
medicine for all of us? What is like the golden that Bitch's positive rule.
You have to give yourself love and attention. Yeah. So there was
a scene where Jlo's having this dream and she meets back up with her younger
self or her inner child, and the inner child is screaming at her,
I didn't get enough love. I didn't get enough love. And j Loo
goes from whom mom and dad and the child goes no, from you.
You loved everyone else but me. Yesh, Don't all of us fall into
that trap because we I think, if I get this relationship, I'm finally
gonna feel accepted. If I get this relationship, I'll finally feel loved.
If I get this relationship, I'll feel validated. If we just decide to
give that validation, love, affection, and attention to ourselves, we got
it. We got it, your inner child, lives on within you,
but so does your inner wise adult, and you can decide differently. Now.
I also love how in this This is Me Now visual album, it's
not even just blaming her hurt on her parents. It's taking responsibility, and
in taking responsibility over what you're broadcasting and who you are, you take your
power back. Moral of the story is always gonna be you have to give
yourself what you were craving that love. There is one scene in this visual
album where there's a glass house and there's a bunch of couples that are fighting
or screaming at one another, but they're connected to one another by this tied
rope, and that's attachment. It's not love anymore. And even j Lo
says, it felt like I thought I could die, Like during her breakup,
she felt like she was gonna die. That's attachment. That is not
love. Feeling like I need this person it's attachment. It's not love.
And attachment is blind. Feeling like I'm gonna die if I don't have this
person is not love. That's attachment. An attachment is blind thinking that it's
okay that this person verbally or physically disrespects me. That's attachment. It's not
love, and attachment is blind. Attachment is what keeps bringing us back on
that rope to the same people or different people with the same emotional outcome,
because we're attached to feeling like we have to be the caregiver, or attached
to feeling like we have to take the disrespect, or attached to feeling like
we have to be the people pleaser, feeling like we have to do everything
for everyone all the time. Attachment is blind, not love. In the
Bible, what they explain love to be, I feel like is the truest
definition, because I don't know that any other book has wrote it so well.
They say love is patient and kind. Love does not envy or boast.
It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own
way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice that wrongdoing,
but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things,
hope all things, and endures all things. That's love. And if
someone is mistreating you when you keep saying I have to stay, I have
to stay, that's not love. That's attachment and attachment is blind. There
are some people in my life. In my family, they have to be
blocked. I can love them from afar, but I can't love them from
up close. I can't, I can't. I will literally just it woant
to be good for anybody. Okay, let's put it that way. There
are some people in my life that I can't be friends with anymore. I
had to release those people from my life because I can love them from afar,
but thinking I need them in my life. That's attachment, and attachment
is blind. And as positive bitches, we need to have our eyes wide
open, wide open. And I know it's not always easy to set these
boundaries or remove ourselves or remove another person because we get an emotional payout.
We don't do anything for no reason. Everything we do has some sort of
payout. Whether it's unconscious, emotional, or conscious, doesn't matter. We
do things when there's some sort of payout. And sometimes we need these toxic
people in our life because they allow us to keep rereading the city story that
we've known our whole entire life. But that's living blind, and it's time
to see ourselves as who we truly are, see the truth, see them
for who they truly are. Because love isn't blind. I had to remove
people actually so I could love them from afar. I had a block people
so I actually could love them from afar because I can't love them up close
because I was attached to them and they're not healthy for me. And history
is never a good enough reason to have a future or present with someone.
They need to be a healthy, a healthy influence in our life. We
are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. If
we're with someone who tells us that we're worthless makes us feel like we're worthless.
We must believe we're worthless, and that comes down to us. That
is up to us to make the change. They're not gonna change, It's
up to you. Why are you relying on that person who seems to know
nothing Anyway, It's time to take back our pen and write a new story.
So what story are you gonna write? As always, the Sparkling Me
honors of Sparkling You. If you enjoyed this podcast, please leave a positive
review review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. I love talking to you on YouTube
in the comments, so definitely interact with this video. Give it a like.
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and I will see you, beautiful beautiful humans in the next one. By
cancer m kids asked me kinds as me mm hm