WEBVTT

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Well, check, check and check
well. This is the two seventeen Recovery

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Podcast with Corey Winfield, who knows
as soon as he gives a tour he's

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gonna give her his heart to her
too, and we'll have kids and getting

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married. Dad's too far. It
is the tenth of November twenty twenty three,

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live recorded from the North Studio with
very special guests with me today.

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One is named Justin Burke, How
are you today? Justin Fabulous? And

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the others named Adam Stevens. How
are you today? Adam? Now you're

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doing good? How are you?
Yeah? I had your mic commuted,

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So how are you doing doing good? Yeah? We're gonna figure this whole

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board thing out one day. Yeah. So it's the end of the week.

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Good Friday, age. You guys
have a pretty good week. Yeah

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yeah, yeah, Well, how
are you doing in recovery? Justin fabulous?

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Okay, that's it. I guess
how are you doing in recovery today?

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Adam? I'm proud of myself nice
being able to test it lately.

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So that's nice. Okay, then, but test it? You don't mean

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like, hey, I'm putting alcohol
in front of me and I'm just gonna

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stare at a more shot lass.
Nope, no, life is testing me

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and I am able to put my
skills to work. Nice all that learning

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you did and rehab. It's kind
of like college you think about it.

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You know, when you go to
treatment centers. Some do this better than

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others, but they kind of help
help you explore those feelings and those thoughts

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that would once lead us to drink
or use. Right. Yeah, and

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if you can retain that information and
kind of work on it, it gets

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a little easier. Eventually it makes
some sense. You know. At first,

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it's like I don't know, Yeah, how am I supposed to do

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that? That's stupid. I remember
when they were talking about for when I

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have an issue, they would say, well, you need coping skills.

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And I've done many episodes on coping
skills, but I just don't believe in

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coping skills, like I'm supposed to
just cope with it. You cope with

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it, but you have to kind
of work yourself through it sometimes, you

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know, like how is coloring going
to help me through this? You know,

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like how's painting going to help me
through this? And I kind of

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get it now because like weeding justin
you know, you're a huge fan of

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weeding cricket stuff, love it,
cricket finally, love it. And but

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for me, and I think you
kind of agree with this, Adam,

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it's just it's kind of soothing because
you can just sit there, you can

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kind of think you can kind of
pick your way out of things. So

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I think if you use that and
at the same time while you're processing stuff,

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it does help. But if you're
just like coloring the color and then

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you look at the picture and it's
just like someone grabbed a cran like a

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two year old and just scribbled it
all down, it's probably not gonn really

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help you as much. That may
it could, I don't know, but

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if it's working through that that stuff, it would sound like that, wouldn't

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it, And that would be a
thing. And then say, when you

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do go lift weights, then you
need to go for a run. Okay,

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you go for a run, but
then you come back and you're still

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feeling that way because you didn't actually
address the issue. And sometimes the issues

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we have to address they're not the
answers we want, you know, when

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we start coming up in our own
head, like that's not really the one

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I want, Adam, and I
had to talk earlier, and I was

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telling them about some of the stuff
that I find myself doing and I don't

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know why, but it's things that
I need to work on. For example,

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my relationship with Marnie. She bends
over backwards, she does that sounded

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kind of dirt. The next sentence, I'm about to say, but she

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does a lot for me, you
know. But she does, and she

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really loves me. She cares about
me and she shows that all the time.

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Am I giving that back to her? You know? I did an

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episode where I thought, man,
I really need to be a better husband,

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you know, I need to do
these little things. And justin you

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were with me on Sunday when I
didn't have my phone and I was like,

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hey, can you text Marting because
I think she needs something from Michael's.

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Right. We were doing this art
project for the art thing here at

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the it's the Travers City Library for
people in recovery doing art, and I

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thought she wanted something for Michaels because
I had seen a text from her earlier.

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They said, hey, if you're
going to Michael's and that's all I

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could really read of it. So
I didn't have my phone, so like

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justin text marting and you're like,
hey, she wants you to pick up

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some cat food because your cat was
crazy this morning or something. Yeah,

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And I said, man, where's
my man shit? And I said,

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man, a cat don't need no
different food. That cat just needs some

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acceptance, you know, or whatever
I was saying. You know, but

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the cat was crazy as hell that
morning. But I'm like no, because

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the food she wants to buy is
like fifty bucks or something. I'm like,

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man, that's expensive. And she
just bought the other food the other

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day. She's like, the cat
doesn't like it and that's why he was

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being crazy. Yeah, but you'll
eat it. It's not. Yeah,

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that's why you have figured out when
he's starving, he'll eat that food.

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You know, not a big deal. But I saw I'm not going to

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get it because that cat doesn't need
new food. And so I go home

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and she's like, oh, you
should get the food. I said,

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no, we got my message.
Yeah, you didn't get the food.

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That it's something I asked you to
do. No, because that cat doesn't

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need new food. Blah blah blah
blah blah. And it's not about the

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money, you know, it's if
we were like holding on to our last

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fifty dollars or something to be different. But we could afford, thank the

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God, Thanks to God that we
can afford to go out and buy some

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cat food, you know, like
we can put food on our cat's table.

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Not that we're rich by any means, but we can at least do

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something like that. And she asked
me to do it, Like why couldn't

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I just go do it? You're
stubborn? Is that what? I don't

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know? But it's just little things
like that though that if I would ask

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Martie to do something, she would
have done it heartbeat without a question.

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Yeah. She wouldn't be like,
oh, well, Corey, you don't

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need that extra thing of ice cream, you know, like, well,

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I don't know why it needs a
bum, I'm still going to get it

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for him. Yeah, she would
have. Yeah, So why why can't

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I wrap my brain around it?
Can you just do this for your wife?

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I don't know. It's something,
but it's like little things like that

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that I need to get better.
I think that would make me a better

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husband. And I hope she doesn't
listen to this because then she can ask

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me all kinds of crazy shit.
Let's put this to test. Corey,

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I need these panties or can you
get these these tampons? I'm like,

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what tampon remover? Yeah, Corey, I need this stilldo from the sex

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job? Wait? What whoa who
knows? I'm just saying that's what I

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would do. That's with somebody like, oh, you're really okay, Well

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I need all those things analise and
whatever. Yeah, some DestinE, I

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don't know whatever people use and do. Yeah, but why can't I do

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that? I don't know. But
I need to be more self aware because

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at the time I knew, yeah, I should probably go do this.

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But at the same time, I
was like, nah, cat don't need

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it. Who cares? She has
to do something man Like. It's not

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like no, honey, I don't
have any money to do that. That'd

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been different, you know, but
she'd be like, sell your drone or

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a microphone or three, right,
you know. But I don't know.

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It's just little things like that.
But I do notice, and next time,

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like I said, hopefully I'll be
able to at least pay attention to

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myself and realize what I'm doing.
I laughed at you at the time,

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and I said, this could be
our first fight or something about you know,

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doing this and that, and I
don't know, so I guess I

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kind of knew, but I just
thought she would understand that the cat will

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eat the other food. Well,
we didn't enjoy drinking bottom self stuff,

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but we still did it, you
know. Yeah. Yeah, desperate measures

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call for desperate times. Cat ain't
that desperate ra otherwise you'd beating it.

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Oh you're okay, you're comparing the
cat eating that food to drinking food.

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Yeah. Yeah, And it wasn't
like it was a different the cheaper brand

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that the stuff you had was really
expensive. And then I told Marnie too,

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It's like, well, what are
you gonna do? Take that back?

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I can tell him that it was
no good that you didn't enjoy it,

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and she's like yeah, and she
did. She took it back to

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Meyer. Thanks Meyer. They're like, well it does stay on the bag,

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satisfaction guaranteed. She said, my
cat, I don't like this,

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and Meyer was like, okay,
cool, so it says on there.

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So so she bought the stuff she
needed from Meyer. So yeah, but

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it was just one of those things, man, where again I have to

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pay attention to what's asked of me
into what does it really hurt me to

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go get that stuff for it?
No? Well, and that's the thing.

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Would you have even went down that
train of thought, you think if

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you wouldn't have went through recovery to
actually look at yourself in that situation,

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I wouldn't have. No. Never, I just stayed mad at it and

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try to make my point. And
I think that's what you know, recovery,

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I mean, that's what's doing it. Yeah, And of course I

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say I didn't make the right decision. Then how I feel like if I

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had to redo it, I would
just go get it, you know,

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to make her happy. But I
didn't really know how much it meant for

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her for me to pick that up. And again she bends more backwards for

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me. Again not sexual well,
I mean maybe, but just saying to

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podcast, the stuff that she does
for me is incredible, and here I

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can't even do something simple. So
hopefully next time I'll be able to address

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that in a way that will present
to her and show her that I do

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care about her and that I do
love her. Because yeah, sure,

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you know, we give each other
kisses, we see each other like,

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that's cool. But how else do
I really show her? You know,

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and they had an opportunity right there
and then just dropped it. Yeah,

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I fumbled it, sure did that, poor little baby Kit you can play

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that. Yeah, I'm gonna throw
all these out. Thanks for you have,

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Adam, you got a new nickname. No, that's my education,

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that's my college. We were talking
about that too. Justin said he's been

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to college three times. Yeah,
because your blockday. We read your blog

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today. Yeah it wasn't very grammarily
get get right. Yeah, read his

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blog at two seventeen recovery dot com
and comment and rate it. Apparently grammarly

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doesn't catch everything. M apparently not. It gets you that super and we'll

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pay for yours. Be in there
all day, Like I can't get this

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sentence done when you take one of
them gets out of there, that's so

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wrong. And they're just like,
I'm just gonna leave it. I'm like,

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you might want to change that.
Maybe you're like, nah, I'm

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just gonna leave it. It's personality. Half measures. What is that?

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What's that saying? I don't know. It's about half measures. Yeah,

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didn't work, half stuffing. Yeah, that's just half asset. It avails

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us nothing. Yeah, Corey doesn't
mind if I half assed stuff, pouring

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my heart into that blog. Thanks
for calling it half ass. I'm gonna

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go home and cry later. Well
you get get out of here. No,

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it was. And your blog was
about the things that you you lost,

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you know, and one of them
you said was your family, and

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I think more directly your daughter.
Yeah, and now you see your daughter

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every weekend. And you did get
that back, and people told you you'll

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get it back tenfold, and you're
like, I don't think so. And

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now you look back at it and
you're like, Wow, that didn't take

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as long as I thought. Probably
right, not at all, Like you're

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yeah, it's really not that long, you know, But back three years

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ago, two years ago, you'd
have been like, that's never gonna happen.

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You were held up in jail and
just all in the cell by yourself

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and box box of Kleenexes. That
looks a little funny. What what jail

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were you in where you got a
box of Kleenex? Oh you didn't get

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a box of clean x. No, you're lucky to get toilet paper.

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I just was watching the show on
Time whe they had a box of Cleenex

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and the guy like put some motion
in it. Like he like kind of

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parted it a little bit. He
didn't take any of the tissues out,

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made himself a fife m P P
no other called feefees. I was just

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saying that with the term I'm looking
for as a P. And then there's

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another P in one of them's pocket. Got you, That's what I was

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picturing. Yeah, fife Okay,
incarcerations are called fifees. Okay. Yeah,

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So anyway, that's where you were
with your fifee, you know,

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thinking I'll never see my daughter again. I don't think you would have been

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thinking about that with your fife.
But no, what did you think about?

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Well, I was in jail using
like drugs, not your fife.

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No, okay, I don't have
one. Yeah that had a major time,

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go a little faster, bro stare
at a bunch of dudes, and

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I don't know what I'm not saying. I got my mental past the time.

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It seems like, no, wait, so you thought about using like

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like I'm gonna get out of here
and I'm gonna call up fife Jackson and

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Whoa or whatever his name was or
her name was, and you're gonna start

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using again, Like as soon as
I hit the streets, I know who

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to call, like like that kind
of thinking or yeah, so you're like

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00:14:07.360 --> 00:14:09.919
setting it up to like when I
got out of here, man, And

205
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what changed that probably the pain of
my mom's eyes when I said that.

206
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Yeah, I got back to her
house. So I was out for like

207
00:14:18.679 --> 00:14:22.759
an hour and a half, like
I'm gonna go get high. Called up

208
00:14:22.759 --> 00:14:26.320
my dealer. He was like,
well, you know where I live at.

209
00:14:26.679 --> 00:14:28.080
I was like, you won't come
pick me up. He was like,

210
00:14:28.159 --> 00:14:31.000
nope, you can walk here if
you want to get high. Mhm.

211
00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:35.039
So You're like, all right,
Mom, see you later, I'm

212
00:14:35.039 --> 00:14:41.159
gonna go get high. Yeah,
And she just looked at you all disgusted,

213
00:14:43.279 --> 00:14:50.000
like really, And so I just
I didn't do it, decided to

214
00:14:50.039 --> 00:14:54.279
go to treatment instead. Would you
say that was a good choice. Yeah,

215
00:14:54.600 --> 00:14:58.840
probably one of the best choices you've
ever made. In it was and

216
00:14:58.120 --> 00:15:01.440
not just the fact that you want
treatment and you learn about yourself and you

217
00:15:01.559 --> 00:15:05.080
learned you know, tools and different
things, but you really got a sense

218
00:15:05.120 --> 00:15:07.720
of like, I can be somebody. I can be a better person.

219
00:15:07.759 --> 00:15:11.080
I don't have to be that old
justin that got my ass locked up,

220
00:15:11.120 --> 00:15:16.759
like I can change my life,
right, and some people. That's it's

221
00:15:16.799 --> 00:15:18.320
hard for him to find that man. Right. I went to treatment,

222
00:15:18.399 --> 00:15:22.320
met you like four days later,
and yeah, I had a great time.

223
00:15:22.960 --> 00:15:28.080
Never laughed so hard in my life. I wish I could have been

224
00:15:28.080 --> 00:15:33.399
there for that. That would have
been fun. I want those memories in

225
00:15:33.440 --> 00:15:39.879
my head. That's funny. But
I'm glad that you picked up on like,

226
00:15:39.919 --> 00:15:43.120
hey, you know, we can
have fun and we can we can

227
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do things in recovery. And I
never laughed so hard of my life like

228
00:15:46.679 --> 00:15:48.320
this. This guy's got something and
I want that, you know. And

229
00:15:48.960 --> 00:15:52.240
I've heard him say that many times
AA meetings and stuff's like oh see this,

230
00:15:52.360 --> 00:15:54.759
you know, and I'm on what
that guy has. I want this

231
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and that they don't mean to like
physically go to their house and start taking

232
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their shit, you know what they
mean, like the inner happiness, yeah,

233
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peace, the joy you feel.
And I didn't have really shit,

234
00:16:08.759 --> 00:16:14.360
Like Marty and I just got together, move into a place. She had

235
00:16:14.440 --> 00:16:18.919
a job. I had like a
oh it was that COVID money. Yeah,

236
00:16:18.600 --> 00:16:22.799
yeah, that COVID money, which
was nice unemployment stuff. That that

237
00:16:22.879 --> 00:16:26.679
is really what helped me with two
seventeen recovery, allowing me to you know,

238
00:16:26.720 --> 00:16:30.759
take people to them from treatment.
Was having that, so that was

239
00:16:32.200 --> 00:16:36.519
that was good for us, but
we didn't like have all the stuff that

240
00:16:36.559 --> 00:16:38.039
we wanted in the world, you
know. And I was going back to

241
00:16:38.080 --> 00:16:41.279
school to take our student loans just
so we could kind of keep afloat.

242
00:16:41.399 --> 00:16:45.600
And it was tough, but I
was still content, you know. I

243
00:16:45.639 --> 00:16:48.000
was still happy with life and where
I was at, where I was going,

244
00:16:48.440 --> 00:16:52.799
you know, like I still had
plans for myself. And I'm glad

245
00:16:52.840 --> 00:16:56.080
you picked up on that justin and
that I was. Maybe it inspired you,

246
00:16:56.120 --> 00:17:00.039
I don't know, but it is. It's a really good point that

247
00:17:00.200 --> 00:17:03.079
you know. That is I don't
want to say lucky, but it is

248
00:17:03.240 --> 00:17:07.720
lucky that your brain said that at
that time, because a lot of people

249
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are just one track at that point, you know, like you're just getting

250
00:17:11.880 --> 00:17:14.559
out. You're thinking about it for
however long you're in there, you know

251
00:17:14.599 --> 00:17:17.400
what I mean. I mean,
that's that's a big deal to have that

252
00:17:17.480 --> 00:17:19.680
revelation in your own head at that
time. It really is, right,

253
00:17:21.480 --> 00:17:25.359
you got like ten eleven months where
you're just thinking, yeah, man,

254
00:17:25.400 --> 00:17:29.000
I get out of here and I'm
gonna go see Fifi Jackson. We got

255
00:17:29.079 --> 00:17:30.400
high and we got high, and
we get high. I can't wait to

256
00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:33.519
see him then, Like the whole
time you're checking out, grabbing all your

257
00:17:33.519 --> 00:17:41.400
crap, you're thinking, yep,
a couple hours man, Yep, it

258
00:17:41.559 --> 00:17:42.839
was rough. And to see that
look in your mind. She needs to

259
00:17:42.839 --> 00:17:47.480
teach me how to do that look
to you like that. No, it's

260
00:17:47.519 --> 00:17:52.519
not. That's a mother look.
You'll never have it. No, No,

261
00:17:52.119 --> 00:18:03.440
my mom's luck. Right, I'm
just kidding mile. Yeah, I'm

262
00:18:03.440 --> 00:18:04.720
not even gonna hit a sound effect
for that. One. Can't do it,

263
00:18:06.759 --> 00:18:11.839
man. Yeah. So do you
guys have big holiday plans? Because

264
00:18:11.839 --> 00:18:17.759
that's another thing for people around the
holidays. It's a lonely time. Sometimes

265
00:18:18.079 --> 00:18:22.680
they get in their own head and
there's somebody right now, probably not listening

266
00:18:22.720 --> 00:18:29.519
to this podcast, but they've already
set their plan in motion for Thanksgiving and

267
00:18:29.680 --> 00:18:33.039
Christmas. I don't know what I'm
doing. I'm going to a concert day

268
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before Thanksgiving. Supposed to be moving
that weekend. Oh nice, Yeah,

269
00:18:41.240 --> 00:18:49.240
that's about it. No dinner plans, that's okay, but you had them.

270
00:18:49.440 --> 00:18:56.160
Oh man, I haven't thought that
far ahead, be honest with you.

271
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It actually, I mean that is
something I've been thinking about a lot

272
00:18:59.640 --> 00:19:03.039
lately is you know, where I'm
at my recovery and everything. It's like

273
00:19:03.640 --> 00:19:10.480
I probably should have I don't want
to say mended things, but like me

274
00:19:10.519 --> 00:19:12.440
and my sisters, you know,
that's really all I got other than my

275
00:19:12.519 --> 00:19:15.400
dad, you know, and stuff, you know, for holidays, would

276
00:19:15.400 --> 00:19:19.119
be my sisters. And my one
sister has five boys, and my other

277
00:19:19.200 --> 00:19:22.720
sisters got a couple of kids too. But yeah, homeschools. All five

278
00:19:22.759 --> 00:19:27.279
boys. Oh lord. Put them
on a watch list immediately when the last

279
00:19:27.279 --> 00:19:30.160
one was born. I think the
oldest was seven, so she had five

280
00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:36.200
boys from seven to baby. You
know, like that's not but it's been

281
00:19:36.279 --> 00:19:40.599
kind of hard trying to find a
like a nineteen twenty year old. Hold

282
00:19:40.640 --> 00:19:44.359
on, mitche, I don't think
they're that old, but maybe they are.

283
00:19:44.440 --> 00:19:45.720
But that's that's insane though. That's
a lot of boys, right,

284
00:19:45.799 --> 00:19:49.200
it's a whole baseball team almost,
you know, it's a basketball team starting

285
00:19:49.319 --> 00:19:55.880
basketball team. School, Lucky school. They're homeschool, so oh yeah,

286
00:19:55.880 --> 00:20:00.440
that's right. Put them on the
watch list. Yeah, they But that's

287
00:20:00.440 --> 00:20:07.359
the thing, is I gotta that's
just one of those there's no real bad

288
00:20:07.400 --> 00:20:11.559
feelings. Of course, there was
like a little stressed strained things before my

289
00:20:11.680 --> 00:20:23.880
last trip to rehab and so but
yeah, so that's something I really kind

290
00:20:23.880 --> 00:20:27.279
of point out to me that I
gotta I've got to mend those because i'd

291
00:20:27.319 --> 00:20:32.680
love to see those boys for the
holidays. Usually we were on a track

292
00:20:32.720 --> 00:20:36.039
where with them it was every other
year they'd go to his parents and then

293
00:20:36.680 --> 00:20:38.920
with us and stuff, and so
it's with all my crap, it just

294
00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:41.920
kind of got out of like,
well, we don't really need to worry

295
00:20:41.960 --> 00:20:44.200
about going to hang out with at
him because he's drunk, you know,

296
00:20:44.279 --> 00:20:47.960
or whatever, or I just went
go. I'd be invited and I want

297
00:20:47.960 --> 00:20:51.279
to go. So yeah, I
think that would be awesome. I'd really

298
00:20:51.319 --> 00:20:53.119
love to I gotta do that this
year. I think there'd be an opportunity

299
00:20:53.160 --> 00:20:56.480
to do something anyway, so that'd
be cool. Yeah, sometimes you gotta

300
00:20:56.519 --> 00:21:00.599
be the person that makes that first
move too. Yeah. Yeah, but

301
00:21:00.680 --> 00:21:02.759
I think that's where it's at,
and I know, I know I'll get

302
00:21:02.759 --> 00:21:04.880
a good reception, you know.
Oh no, we don't want sober Adam

303
00:21:04.880 --> 00:21:07.240
around. They're like, wow,
you're just a bit you know, like

304
00:21:07.880 --> 00:21:11.480
never mind, Well that's the difference. That's the difference in my family too.

305
00:21:11.640 --> 00:21:14.319
With you know a lot of people
are like, oh, I don't

306
00:21:14.319 --> 00:21:17.680
want to go to the Holidays because
everyone's gonna be drunk. I really don't

307
00:21:17.720 --> 00:21:19.119
have to worry about that so much
anymore. A lot of my family's actually

308
00:21:19.119 --> 00:21:22.559
in recovery, and like my sister, and they don't they just doesn't have

309
00:21:22.640 --> 00:21:27.079
don't have a problem with it,
you know. But so yeah, so

310
00:21:27.319 --> 00:21:30.319
that, yeah, it's all,
it's all good. It's all just gotta

311
00:21:30.440 --> 00:21:36.160
kind of happen, you know,
or come together good. Would you did

312
00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:40.839
your sister or anybody like that ever
say oh, you can't be around my

313
00:21:40.920 --> 00:21:48.599
kids until you stop drinking? Yeah, I know, I think the I

314
00:21:48.640 --> 00:21:52.200
think the more the way I was
is they really didn't have to worry about

315
00:21:52.200 --> 00:21:56.680
it so much because I was such
an isolator, you know, you know

316
00:21:56.880 --> 00:22:00.359
you were coming around like, yeah, I wasn't trying to act like I

317
00:22:00.480 --> 00:22:03.039
wasn't, you know what I mean
there, I know, there was a

318
00:22:03.039 --> 00:22:04.920
couple of times where I show I
was there and I was you know,

319
00:22:06.079 --> 00:22:08.519
I was basically maintaining I don't know
if they knew it was one of those,

320
00:22:08.599 --> 00:22:12.240
you know, those situations where you're
not quite bad yet, but obviously

321
00:22:12.279 --> 00:22:17.680
it'll get there. So I do
remember a couple of holiday things where I

322
00:22:17.759 --> 00:22:25.839
just kind of snuck outside and righted
myself and went back in and so but

323
00:22:26.119 --> 00:22:29.160
it never luckily, you know,
it's another one of those yetes. It

324
00:22:29.200 --> 00:22:33.279
would have, but luckily I never
made a fool of myself in that way

325
00:22:33.359 --> 00:22:36.640
with them. But it could have
happened, But like I said, I

326
00:22:36.680 --> 00:22:40.240
really minimized it because I wouln't have
gone unless I knew I could handle myself.

327
00:22:41.720 --> 00:22:45.039
So my sister tried that with me
where she said that, you know,

328
00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:47.039
you won't be around my kids if
you keep drinking. And I was

329
00:22:47.079 --> 00:22:49.920
like, okay, like those I
love those kids and they're my nephews.

330
00:22:49.920 --> 00:22:55.960
But like they never bought me alcohol, right, you know, like okay,

331
00:22:56.400 --> 00:23:00.119
whatever, you know, Like but
that's how powerful alcohol is, Like

332
00:23:00.519 --> 00:23:03.920
that's not gonna help you. Like
if hey, you don't come around here

333
00:23:03.920 --> 00:23:07.559
if you're drying, okay, see
it or not? Like I don't care,

334
00:23:07.680 --> 00:23:12.240
Like alcohol took over my brain,
Like like that's that's a kind of

335
00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:15.400
a cruel way to look at it, but that's the truth of it,

336
00:23:15.039 --> 00:23:18.079
you know, Like if you can't
do it for I'm gonna do it for

337
00:23:18.119 --> 00:23:21.960
my kids. Well and that's you
know, you guys know me, and

338
00:23:22.079 --> 00:23:25.319
people listening don't. But that's like
that's my whole thing, you know.

339
00:23:25.559 --> 00:23:27.200
And it didn't matter to me.
I mean, it mattered, but it

340
00:23:27.240 --> 00:23:32.480
didn't stop anything. Like I knew
what I was doing to my son and

341
00:23:32.480 --> 00:23:34.880
stuff. He was old enough to
be realizing all of it and witnessing it.

342
00:23:36.519 --> 00:23:38.680
And you know, even though it
broke my heart, I'm doing it

343
00:23:40.079 --> 00:23:42.880
while it's breaking my heart because I
can't. I can't help it, you

344
00:23:42.920 --> 00:23:48.319
know. Yeah, and then it
just just rolls and out of control,

345
00:23:48.519 --> 00:23:52.559
you know, and then you're on
a train. You can't stop it,

346
00:23:52.440 --> 00:23:59.400
and now you're drinking even more,
and now it's, yeah, the shame,

347
00:23:59.480 --> 00:24:02.200
the guilt, and then the sickness
sets in. So now you're trying

348
00:24:02.200 --> 00:24:06.000
to fight that too. It's becoming
this monster, and you're just out of

349
00:24:06.000 --> 00:24:08.400
control, you know, until you
can go to rehab or to kind of

350
00:24:08.519 --> 00:24:12.359
detox or at least get some kind
of help for yourself. Like I'm trying

351
00:24:12.359 --> 00:24:17.759
to get this help for these f
and pop ups. I'm not sure how

352
00:24:18.880 --> 00:24:22.119
mit been watching porn again? Turn
off all notifications, Yes, I did

353
00:24:22.160 --> 00:24:27.759
that like five times today, and
the new iPhone app don't upload that crap

354
00:24:29.319 --> 00:24:33.000
the new iOS system. Oh it's
horrible. She just looks different. Your

355
00:24:33.039 --> 00:24:37.640
phone works different, Like what's getting
you prepared for our new phones? Stupid?

356
00:24:37.880 --> 00:24:42.160
Hate it? I should download it? You should, but good luck.

357
00:24:42.240 --> 00:24:48.160
I'm telling you if you mess your
stuff up anyway, back to back

358
00:24:48.200 --> 00:24:53.039
to recovery stuff. The thing that
you can do for your kid, if

359
00:24:53.039 --> 00:24:56.599
you want to be there for your
kid, is to be sober. Like

360
00:24:56.640 --> 00:24:59.240
if you're like, well, I
want to be there for my kid,

361
00:24:59.279 --> 00:25:00.799
I want, well, well you
want your kid to have a sober dad,

362
00:25:00.839 --> 00:25:03.440
well, then be sober, you
know, like, if you want

363
00:25:03.480 --> 00:25:07.519
to be there for your kid,
then be sober. You know, by

364
00:25:07.559 --> 00:25:10.039
being sober, you can be there
for your kid. And your kid can

365
00:25:10.160 --> 00:25:12.519
have a father or a mother,
But you have to do that for yourself.

366
00:25:12.960 --> 00:25:15.599
It's that your kid can have those
things. That's how I kind of

367
00:25:15.599 --> 00:25:22.960
look at it. But you know, well, we'll see how my family

368
00:25:23.039 --> 00:25:26.920
stuff goes this time, because we
went down there for a birthday party,

369
00:25:26.920 --> 00:25:30.440
and of course birthday party is a
little different. But there's there's some people

370
00:25:30.440 --> 00:25:34.200
who they just remind me of me. You know, they don't care about

371
00:25:34.200 --> 00:25:37.759
anything, and they're going to drink
because they think they can drink and their

372
00:25:37.799 --> 00:25:41.279
an adult, they can drink.
Okay, sure, but there's also people

373
00:25:41.559 --> 00:25:45.400
like me who cannot have one drink. Like I, if I was going

374
00:25:45.440 --> 00:25:48.400
to have a birthday party, let's
just say there's another situation that came up.

375
00:25:48.440 --> 00:25:51.880
You know, it's like birthday party
for my seven or eight year old,

376
00:25:52.119 --> 00:25:56.039
I probably well, first of all, I would have been not with

377
00:25:56.160 --> 00:25:59.400
anybody, and I probably wouldn't have
add any kids or whatever. But I'm

378
00:25:59.440 --> 00:26:02.160
just saying like, if if I
was I could have I could hold it

379
00:26:02.200 --> 00:26:06.519
together because I wouldn't want the whole
neighborhood knowing that I was drunk, right,

380
00:26:07.400 --> 00:26:10.759
So I would hold it together and
not drink at all because having two,

381
00:26:10.839 --> 00:26:14.839
three, four, five six beers
that's not gonna it's like I do

382
00:26:14.880 --> 00:26:18.079
it. Some people will be like, oh, well, by drinking there,

383
00:26:18.160 --> 00:26:21.119
I'll show the neighborhood that I can
do it. But then you have

384
00:26:21.200 --> 00:26:23.039
to rewind the whole situation to what
I started with. You're at an eight

385
00:26:23.119 --> 00:26:26.680
year old, seven year old whatever
birthday party, you have to be drinking,

386
00:26:27.119 --> 00:26:30.200
Like, come on, bro,
Like for what that's My brain didn't

387
00:26:30.200 --> 00:26:33.839
even pick up on it, because
that's not how we work, right,

388
00:26:33.920 --> 00:26:36.000
But some people be like, well, no, I was drinking there to

389
00:26:36.039 --> 00:26:38.559
prove that I can't handle it.
Why were you drinking at a birthday party?

390
00:26:40.200 --> 00:26:44.359
You know, like that doesn't make
sense, that's not normal. You

391
00:26:44.480 --> 00:26:47.160
have a problem, you know,
But then you can't tell somebody they have

392
00:26:47.200 --> 00:26:48.920
a problem because they won't listen to
you. I didn't listen to anybody.

393
00:26:49.440 --> 00:26:52.559
I knew I had a problem.
I was shaking all the damn time.

394
00:26:52.880 --> 00:26:56.160
But then when I said I had
a problem, didn't want anyone else tell

395
00:26:56.200 --> 00:26:57.400
me I had a problem, right, yeah, yeah, Oh it was

396
00:26:57.519 --> 00:27:03.960
real rude who they think they are. But having someone like myself or you

397
00:27:03.039 --> 00:27:08.359
guys who have been through this,
like when I call them the kettle black,

398
00:27:08.400 --> 00:27:14.160
you know, like we're just saying
the kettle's hot and you're on the

399
00:27:14.200 --> 00:27:18.000
stove, so that's we're just letting
you know. And it's not that you're

400
00:27:18.000 --> 00:27:21.480
a bad person. It's not either
you're doing bad things, but you know,

401
00:27:21.519 --> 00:27:23.400
these things kind of came up though
at the birthday partner, I'm like,

402
00:27:23.440 --> 00:27:26.680
I just don't want to be around
drunk people, you know. And

403
00:27:26.680 --> 00:27:29.480
there are people in the family that
still have this like thing of like well,

404
00:27:29.519 --> 00:27:30.440
I don't have a problem. I
don't have a problem, and there's

405
00:27:30.440 --> 00:27:33.400
something that just don't really want to
address it, and that's cool, that's

406
00:27:33.400 --> 00:27:36.440
their life. And then I get
asked, well, how come we don't

407
00:27:36.480 --> 00:27:37.519
say something to this person or this
person. I'm like, because it's not

408
00:27:37.559 --> 00:27:41.519
my job. Yeah, but you
just reach out to this other person.

409
00:27:41.559 --> 00:27:44.160
I was like, well that was
a little different situation, you know,

410
00:27:44.279 --> 00:27:47.920
Like this other person. I was
just like, yo, I'll be around

411
00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:52.319
if you need any advice on some
issues, you know. But that's all

412
00:27:52.319 --> 00:27:53.400
I can do, you know,
is help them with them. Of course,

413
00:27:53.440 --> 00:27:56.359
we know how to get people to
treatment, you know, and sometimes

414
00:27:56.400 --> 00:28:00.279
people don't know how to go to
treatment. Yeah, that's the really lost

415
00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:03.319
on people because when I first started, I had no idea what to do.

416
00:28:04.000 --> 00:28:07.920
My boss offered treatment and or you
know stuff, and I had no

417
00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:12.640
idea what it would even be anyway, you know. And that's a whole

418
00:28:12.799 --> 00:28:15.680
nother process of like, Okay,
so I have to go admit to other

419
00:28:15.720 --> 00:28:19.480
people in this world that I'm a
bad person, and that's how you feel.

420
00:28:19.920 --> 00:28:23.200
You feel like, Okay, I'm
tarnished, I'm trash, I have

421
00:28:23.319 --> 00:28:27.440
this issue and I don't want to
go tell anybody else that, but really,

422
00:28:29.039 --> 00:28:32.319
in reality, you and I know
it's not like that. You know,

423
00:28:32.559 --> 00:28:34.160
people don't think you're trash. You're
going to go into treatment. You're

424
00:28:34.160 --> 00:28:37.799
not the first person to ever go, and it could be outpatient even,

425
00:28:37.839 --> 00:28:41.400
you know, like whatever, it
can work, because not everybody can just

426
00:28:41.440 --> 00:28:45.599
take the time off to go to
treatment. If you don't do something about

427
00:28:45.599 --> 00:28:48.079
it, you will have plenty of
time off because you're not gonna have a

428
00:28:48.160 --> 00:28:51.799
job, you're not gonna have a
house. It's progressive. We were talking

429
00:28:51.880 --> 00:28:55.720
today at the Detox across the street
and one lady was like, it's so

430
00:28:55.799 --> 00:28:57.839
progressive. How she started drinking when
she was thirty five. A woman over

431
00:28:57.880 --> 00:29:02.599
there told us. And you think, oh, wow, she's in the

432
00:29:02.599 --> 00:29:06.319
clear. She made it past her
evil twenties. No, she'ld have got

433
00:29:06.319 --> 00:29:08.319
her as she was then, you
know, going out to these places with

434
00:29:08.400 --> 00:29:14.759
people having these acceptable drinking times during
happy hour and after work. And then

435
00:29:14.880 --> 00:29:18.000
she said she started hiding bottles around
the house, you know, and next

436
00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:21.000
thing you know, she can't stop
it. And she literally said that that

437
00:29:21.079 --> 00:29:23.839
was her first drink. Yeah,
she was thirty five, going out with

438
00:29:23.880 --> 00:29:29.000
teachers or something. And now it's
like because I can kind of relate,

439
00:29:29.119 --> 00:29:32.279
like a lot of my twenties,
I didn't barely drink at all, but

440
00:29:32.480 --> 00:29:34.519
I had already drink and all that, you know, But that just that

441
00:29:34.559 --> 00:29:38.400
does show people though, because I
started again when I was thirty and by

442
00:29:38.480 --> 00:29:42.279
thirty five I was in rehab a
couple of times or whatever. You know

443
00:29:42.279 --> 00:29:47.640
what I mean it it's progressive even
if you're not drinking. I don't really

444
00:29:47.680 --> 00:29:53.200
remember my twenties too busy getting whack, right, And it sucks because you

445
00:29:53.279 --> 00:29:56.799
kind of want to go back and
remember and nothing you can about it.

446
00:29:56.799 --> 00:30:02.160
At least she can remember your your
thirties, thirties and forties justin that's right,

447
00:30:03.640 --> 00:30:06.039
that's all he can do. Yeah, I don't remember much of thirty

448
00:30:06.079 --> 00:30:12.680
six, thirty seven, thirty six, thirty seven, whoa so old this

449
00:30:12.799 --> 00:30:17.359
guy? Oh wait, so thirty
seven. Yeah, the end of thirty

450
00:30:17.359 --> 00:30:23.359
seven was pretty bad. But yeah
for me, yeah, thirty six that's

451
00:30:23.400 --> 00:30:29.039
my my eye opener. And even
after that, you know, I still

452
00:30:29.119 --> 00:30:33.039
drink, so don't right. We
heard that song from Seither Fine Again.

453
00:30:33.240 --> 00:30:37.440
They had a new acoustic album come
out, and if you really listen to

454
00:30:37.480 --> 00:30:44.640
find Again, he's talking about you
know, being in the throes of addiction,

455
00:30:44.920 --> 00:30:48.480
and you know, he goes and
he'll go to rehabber, he'll get

456
00:30:48.480 --> 00:30:49.559
fixed, or he'll be sober for
a minute, and then that people tell

457
00:30:49.599 --> 00:30:52.079
him, oh, he'll be fine, he'll be fine, and so he

458
00:30:52.160 --> 00:30:55.519
keeps going through this process of oh, I'll be fine again, you know,

459
00:30:55.599 --> 00:31:02.519
and then it goes into where he
says that like the girl or whatever

460
00:31:02.559 --> 00:31:04.960
said she's leaving or she's done or
something, it's over. So I said

461
00:31:06.759 --> 00:31:10.640
said it's over, and he says
it was like a sigh of relief.

462
00:31:11.119 --> 00:31:14.599
You know, he felt relief again, you know, because I remember being

463
00:31:14.720 --> 00:31:15.920
nagged and told, oh, you
know you got to do this, you

464
00:31:15.960 --> 00:31:18.279
gotta do this. And then it
says in there that you know, you

465
00:31:18.359 --> 00:31:22.440
call me a liar, and how
many times have we been called a liar?

466
00:31:22.599 --> 00:31:23.599
You know, like oh, I'll
never drink again. I'm never going

467
00:31:23.640 --> 00:31:26.880
to do it again. And then
boom, you do it again. Oh

468
00:31:26.960 --> 00:31:29.480
you fn liar. You told me
you were done, You told me you

469
00:31:29.480 --> 00:31:32.519
were never going to drink again.
All that is part of addiction. And

470
00:31:32.559 --> 00:31:37.240
then when when he felt relief when
she said it's over, that's because the

471
00:31:37.359 --> 00:31:40.759
nagging, like Okay, finally,
you know, it's one part that I

472
00:31:40.759 --> 00:31:41.839
don't have to focus on anymore.
Yeah, I can give it. I

473
00:31:41.880 --> 00:31:45.000
don't have to worry about that anymore. Yeah, I don't have to worry

474
00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:48.000
about somebody nagging me or doing this, or disappointing anybody, or lying so

475
00:31:48.079 --> 00:31:52.079
to somebody again. You know,
when we weren't lying when we said we'll

476
00:31:52.119 --> 00:31:53.680
never do it again. We really
meant it when we said it at that

477
00:31:53.759 --> 00:31:59.519
point, And people don't realize how
much we beat ourselves up more than they're

478
00:31:59.559 --> 00:32:01.240
doing any way. And then so
when you hear it from other people,

479
00:32:01.279 --> 00:32:04.240
you're like, no shit, you
know, but you don't want to hear

480
00:32:04.279 --> 00:32:07.400
it because you're already telling yourself that, Yeah, you're already feeling like a

481
00:32:07.440 --> 00:32:13.319
squish bug underneath your shoe, and
then hearing them say it's just squishing it

482
00:32:13.319 --> 00:32:15.559
in even more. And I don't
know, I don't even know what would

483
00:32:15.559 --> 00:32:20.880
you replace liar with. It's like, I'm not a liar, I'm I

484
00:32:21.039 --> 00:32:23.839
get fooled or you know what I
mean, or because I believe it when

485
00:32:23.880 --> 00:32:27.920
I say it, I mean I
want it as much as they want it,

486
00:32:27.960 --> 00:32:32.200
probably more because the way you know, But yeah, it's it's not

487
00:32:32.319 --> 00:32:37.200
a lie. I don't know what
to call it. I mean, it's

488
00:32:37.519 --> 00:32:42.319
we're deceived as much as anybody.
Yeah, I don't know. It's just

489
00:32:42.359 --> 00:32:47.519
a fucking trick, deception by addiction
or addiction deception or something, because and

490
00:32:47.559 --> 00:32:50.960
we think, oh, nope,
I got the plans figured out this time.

491
00:32:51.000 --> 00:32:52.200
I know what I'm going to do. Here's my plan, you know,

492
00:32:52.240 --> 00:32:55.559
and then sometimes there's some way we
fall off of that, whether it

493
00:32:55.640 --> 00:32:58.839
be well, I don't need to
hit a meeting tonight, or I don't

494
00:32:58.880 --> 00:33:00.880
I don't really need to do this
or do that. You know, you

495
00:33:01.079 --> 00:33:05.559
start slacking the next thing. No, you're right back in it again.

496
00:33:05.640 --> 00:33:09.880
And if I could give families any
advice with that stuff too, it'd just

497
00:33:10.039 --> 00:33:19.519
be like when you're thinking that someone's
not trying, do they keep going?

498
00:33:19.880 --> 00:33:22.039
You know what I mean, because
that's really all it is, like,

499
00:33:23.599 --> 00:33:27.720
you can't you don't if you take
a few steps. Are they learning?

500
00:33:28.000 --> 00:33:30.960
Are they learning when they mess up? If they learn something each time,

501
00:33:31.440 --> 00:33:35.000
it's getting better. And that's all
you can really ask for. I mean,

502
00:33:36.559 --> 00:33:38.880
that's all I That's all I could
do is learn from my mistakes,

503
00:33:38.880 --> 00:33:42.960
because the mistakes are coming you know, you don't know what you don't know

504
00:33:43.039 --> 00:33:45.240
until you know it, and then
go get your ass on probation. That

505
00:33:45.319 --> 00:33:49.799
usually helps, right if you're not
a big fan of jail, get your

506
00:33:49.839 --> 00:33:53.039
ass on probation. I got jail
and probation. Hell yeah, you overdid

507
00:33:53.039 --> 00:33:57.319
it. Let's see if you listen
to this podcast before you went in,

508
00:33:57.480 --> 00:34:01.319
maybe you just it's just a little
probations when it because I don't like Jael,

509
00:34:01.519 --> 00:34:05.200
well, they would probably just gave
me a little probation. But I

510
00:34:05.240 --> 00:34:07.760
didn't show back up to my sunseen
court date. I was like, I

511
00:34:07.760 --> 00:34:10.519
don't need to go to that.
I like jail. Don't let me know

512
00:34:10.679 --> 00:34:20.320
what's going on Tennessee. Instead,
get your ass yeah lifted, oh Grand

513
00:34:20.400 --> 00:34:25.760
Rapids? Is it worth it?
No even to think about it? Like,

514
00:34:25.920 --> 00:34:29.719
well, I got my life.
I did get These Jordans were pretty

515
00:34:29.719 --> 00:34:32.840
sweet. No, but that's a
good point though. If you didn't,

516
00:34:32.960 --> 00:34:37.840
yeah, you know, that's exactly
what you needed. Right now, I'm

517
00:34:37.840 --> 00:34:40.280
not saying to go to the store
with your friend and like going there and

518
00:34:40.280 --> 00:34:44.239
give me that PS five. It's
going to change your life. Boy,

519
00:34:44.400 --> 00:34:50.360
those are behind locked cages now.
I'm just saying that somebody probably is a

520
00:34:50.440 --> 00:34:52.920
key somewhere. That's why you bring
your friend just throw them into it.

521
00:34:53.079 --> 00:34:59.599
Yeah, that's smart thinking what if
you got what if you got caught?

522
00:34:59.679 --> 00:35:02.199
What's I'm like gonna say it until
I ask you, what's the most embarrassing

523
00:35:02.280 --> 00:35:08.280
thing you can get caught shoplifting tampons? I think so for you it would

524
00:35:08.320 --> 00:35:14.599
be I guess for a guy,
Yeah, I mean if I'm buying it

525
00:35:14.639 --> 00:35:17.199
for myself, it'd be like women's
underwear or something. Maybe that's where I

526
00:35:17.239 --> 00:35:22.480
was gonna go. Yeah, Like
if you got caught a bunch of Victoria's

527
00:35:22.519 --> 00:35:29.800
Secret panties, So what what is
got your ass? Oh? Caught me

528
00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:37.440
in panties? What you went for? I had some victorious secret panties.

529
00:35:37.920 --> 00:35:44.079
I shut them down my pants and
I ran out the store and not here

530
00:35:44.119 --> 00:35:50.400
a guy yell, got your an? He got me? Not me here?

531
00:35:50.559 --> 00:35:53.960
What you went for? Beating up
a guy who stole some panties from

532
00:35:54.000 --> 00:36:00.719
Victoria's Secret. My wife runs that
store. Take a food off our table.

533
00:36:01.320 --> 00:36:05.719
And then he'll be like, ah, I got your ass two times

534
00:36:05.760 --> 00:36:08.639
because you can't ride. I'm in
here with you and get beat up in

535
00:36:08.719 --> 00:36:12.800
jail. Would you get beat up
for man? Did you take that dude's

536
00:36:12.840 --> 00:36:15.920
food? No, man, I
say, I have robbed at Victoria's secret

537
00:36:15.960 --> 00:36:22.239
store. That happened to be that
guy's husband. Beat up. Some guy

538
00:36:22.440 --> 00:36:23.280
wasn't me, though, but he
made sure to beat me up in here

539
00:36:23.320 --> 00:36:34.360
again. I'm just saying, don't
steal pennies, no, do don't steal

540
00:36:34.360 --> 00:36:38.920
anything, really don't. There's really
not a way to go about it.

541
00:36:40.920 --> 00:36:44.960
Yeah you will, and it's just
it's a bad thing. Some people are

542
00:36:44.960 --> 00:36:53.079
addicted to stealing. Yeah, rush
isn't gratification. I didn't have to favor

543
00:36:53.159 --> 00:37:01.599
that ship OUs Dunham's buying one of
my sweat sits week and the guy was

544
00:37:01.639 --> 00:37:05.880
like, there's no I was like, there's no security tag on that ship.

545
00:37:06.400 --> 00:37:10.320
I was like, that should have
been free. He didn't find an

546
00:37:10.360 --> 00:37:15.800
amusing Yeah, Adam did, though. I thought that was funny. The

547
00:37:15.880 --> 00:37:21.119
old me would have just walked out
of the door. Well, I just

548
00:37:21.159 --> 00:37:23.280
think it's funny because I just think
it's ridiculous nowadays. You know, like

549
00:37:23.320 --> 00:37:27.840
when I was working at Low's,
I realized that, oh, you can

550
00:37:27.920 --> 00:37:30.559
just walk out of a store and
no one can do anything about it nowadays.

551
00:37:30.039 --> 00:37:32.719
Not that I'm promoting that, I
think it's fucking ridiculous, but it

552
00:37:32.840 --> 00:37:36.719
is. It's that's literally the way
it is. You can't do anything about

553
00:37:36.719 --> 00:37:39.320
it. Home Depot does the same
thing. Yeah, Walmart. I guess

554
00:37:39.360 --> 00:37:45.000
Walmart's gonna could shut down because of
all their shoplifting. I doubt that they

555
00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:49.760
got lost prevention. They'll tackle you. Don't believe that nonsense? Yeah,

556
00:37:49.800 --> 00:37:52.360
Walmart. I've seen that Walmart before. I believe I've been tackled at Walmart.

557
00:37:52.480 --> 00:38:00.320
Yeah. And Grand Rapids oh yeah, yeah. But Home Loves Home

558
00:38:00.360 --> 00:38:04.719
DEEPO and Lows they have that thing
where well, we're not gonna mess with

559
00:38:04.760 --> 00:38:07.039
it. And I was like I
almost didn't work there because I was like,

560
00:38:07.119 --> 00:38:09.719
well, I wanted to work in
retail. I want to tackle someone

561
00:38:09.719 --> 00:38:13.679
trying to show uplift. That's like
the fun. Well a lot of those

562
00:38:13.679 --> 00:38:15.719
people, though, is where they
get them. And this makes sense is

563
00:38:15.719 --> 00:38:19.000
they'll come back to the store or
a different store, and I'll try to

564
00:38:19.039 --> 00:38:21.320
sell it back to the store and
be like, hey, I need to

565
00:38:21.320 --> 00:38:28.639
return this. Yeah, and that's
when they got your ass going and return

566
00:38:28.679 --> 00:38:32.320
it up three times at the store
here and then on and gets you in

567
00:38:32.320 --> 00:38:37.480
a database and they're like okay,
well this was their purchase. So got

568
00:38:37.719 --> 00:38:44.440
your ass. Yeah, yeah,
so I mean that's kind of a sneaky

569
00:38:44.440 --> 00:38:46.119
way to do it, but yeah, I just don't steal. It's just

570
00:38:46.159 --> 00:38:50.880
not a not a soulful thing.
No, but if you're listening to this

571
00:38:50.920 --> 00:38:53.760
podcast, you probably don't steal anyway. If you made it this far through

572
00:38:53.760 --> 00:38:59.239
this episode, I'd like to congratulate
you. And you want a free two

573
00:38:59.280 --> 00:39:04.480
seventeen recover reshirt, just sign up
on the website. What's the website to

574
00:39:04.679 --> 00:39:08.559
seventeen recovery dot com? Here you
go, slash contest. Hey, there

575
00:39:08.599 --> 00:39:15.480
you go, and you can get
the app too, which is from the

576
00:39:15.480 --> 00:39:19.280
play Store, Google Store. Adam's
on the app and Google. Yeah,

577
00:39:19.360 --> 00:39:23.000
adm, Adam and Mitch all on
the app about time. Yeah, I

578
00:39:23.000 --> 00:39:25.159
did that about a week ago.
I think I didn't even know when you

579
00:39:25.159 --> 00:39:28.320
told me that that I wasn't on
there. I go. Always started a

580
00:39:28.360 --> 00:39:34.280
website. I've got the no,
I go to the app for podcasts.

581
00:39:34.480 --> 00:39:37.400
But whatever, whenever I check stuff, I check on the website and it

582
00:39:37.519 --> 00:39:39.880
hit the team button. Once you
get our app, which is free,

583
00:39:40.679 --> 00:39:44.880
you can listen to every episode of
the podcast, which I don't know if

584
00:39:44.880 --> 00:39:47.320
it is good or bad. We
haven't broken down in the years. And

585
00:39:47.360 --> 00:39:52.599
then the latest episodes obviously are the
ones going now. But when you get

586
00:39:52.639 --> 00:39:55.039
in your app, Adam, I
was just talking to Mitch about it yesterday.

587
00:39:55.119 --> 00:39:58.920
I can't remember. We had some
kind of idea about something. Oh,

588
00:39:59.239 --> 00:40:06.519
it was when Mitch was working on
uh single and TC, uh sober

589
00:40:06.559 --> 00:40:09.360
and single and TC or something on
a Facebook group. Okay, he's making

590
00:40:09.400 --> 00:40:13.679
one. He's trying to get me
to good minute. But yeah, that's

591
00:40:13.719 --> 00:40:16.719
what I was talking. We should
make an app, the sober dating app.

592
00:40:19.360 --> 00:40:22.360
They don't have one of those.
I'm sure they do, but I

593
00:40:22.400 --> 00:40:25.239
don't think so. I don't know
my phone, my phone's in my pocket.

594
00:40:25.599 --> 00:40:31.760
I feel like I don't know.
Sober dating App's gotta be sober singles.

595
00:40:35.239 --> 00:40:42.559
That's what other names could there be? Sober dating, one Date,

596
00:40:43.880 --> 00:40:52.039
sober Dating, lucid, clean,
sober Love, Sober grid, hinge dating,

597
00:40:53.639 --> 00:41:00.159
meat club, soda, mmmm,
adult hookup. I know a good

598
00:41:00.159 --> 00:41:05.960
one, yeah, sure, Justin
does. I don't need it. I

599
00:41:05.960 --> 00:41:07.360
don't know if it's still there,
and I don't know if I have the

600
00:41:07.480 --> 00:41:13.199
name exactly right, but I think
it is. So it's for the funeral

601
00:41:13.199 --> 00:41:17.119
and burial industry, and it's called
coldmeat dot com. I don't get out

602
00:41:17.119 --> 00:41:24.599
of here for I think it's coldmeat
dot com. You know. Oh it's

603
00:41:24.599 --> 00:41:31.119
a website. Yeah. I haven't
looked at it in probably seven or eight

604
00:41:31.199 --> 00:41:37.639
years. It was when I worked
at the other place, the subway surfers.

605
00:41:37.800 --> 00:41:44.599
Nice. Ah, that's crazy,
like that would be a creepy dating

606
00:41:44.639 --> 00:41:49.639
site. Yeah, I mean once
you're in it, I mean, everybody's

607
00:41:49.679 --> 00:41:52.880
normal people. There's definitely creepy people
that work in that industry, I guess.

608
00:41:52.000 --> 00:41:55.119
But at the end of the day, like the person that showed me

609
00:41:55.320 --> 00:42:00.159
was I mean, I can't get
into too many details, but it was

610
00:42:00.159 --> 00:42:05.400
an attractive funeral director from around here, you know. And it I mean,

611
00:42:05.760 --> 00:42:10.719
it's like anything else I think.
You know, I didn't try it

612
00:42:13.000 --> 00:42:16.039
that you want to date someone who's
in the same line of work as you

613
00:42:16.400 --> 00:42:22.440
If that's your line of work,
that'd be weird. Well the thing is

614
00:42:22.480 --> 00:42:29.360
though, I mean yeah, but
it's also is weird you know, to

615
00:42:29.440 --> 00:42:32.280
normal people, regular people that don't
you know, so there is some understanding

616
00:42:32.360 --> 00:42:37.800
there, you know what I mean, what's your body count? Today?

617
00:42:37.440 --> 00:42:43.199
I had to burn this one guy
and big old wiener I didn't see it.

618
00:42:43.199 --> 00:42:46.360
Well, I mean I probably saw
Wieners at some point. But see

619
00:42:46.360 --> 00:42:51.000
how many dead people do you think
you've seen in your life? The actual

620
00:42:51.039 --> 00:43:02.400
body probably only like fifty. You
need therapist. Know, there's some issues

621
00:43:02.440 --> 00:43:07.960
going on here because that's not normal
for peopleboard boxes when they get slid into

622
00:43:07.960 --> 00:43:15.199
the fire. Well yeah, but
there's situations. I mean, we could

623
00:43:15.280 --> 00:43:19.119
get into it. I mean,
there are things that you can check to

624
00:43:20.719 --> 00:43:25.800
So pacemakers explode, so that's not
good. They explode bad. Yeah,

625
00:43:28.039 --> 00:43:37.679
and uh, body fat matters.
That's like nape not napalm, but whatever,

626
00:43:37.719 --> 00:43:43.440
it's fuel. Uh but yeah,
I don't know, I mean I

627
00:43:43.480 --> 00:43:46.320
could go on, but there,
Yeah, there's just stuff to check sometimes

628
00:43:46.400 --> 00:43:52.760
and they don't always come uh in
the box already. They might come with

629
00:43:52.840 --> 00:43:58.760
the funeral home and need to be
placed in their final Did you ever see

630
00:43:58.800 --> 00:44:02.559
like oh that can that dude got
some jewelry on or they take that stuff

631
00:44:02.559 --> 00:44:05.920
off. Yeah, I mean as
far as I know. I mean,

632
00:44:06.119 --> 00:44:15.599
so metal has to be removed after
the process. So but yeah, generally

633
00:44:16.480 --> 00:44:21.559
jewelry family is going to have and
if not, then some people do like

634
00:44:21.679 --> 00:44:25.400
certain things to be cremated with body. But well somebody has some gold teeth,

635
00:44:27.920 --> 00:44:32.159
they melt sometimes getting that back.
So I don't know, because the

636
00:44:32.199 --> 00:44:37.960
thing that's what I was always told
is that the gold descent not disintegrates.

637
00:44:38.000 --> 00:44:40.199
I don't know. We could pull
a tooth out pretty easy that I would

638
00:44:40.199 --> 00:44:45.760
assume. Well, yeah, not
me, no, but that's I mean,

639
00:44:45.760 --> 00:44:47.480
you see that stuff and it gets, it gets. We had we,

640
00:44:47.840 --> 00:44:51.760
you know, dispose of it and
a certain way. There wasn't really

641
00:44:51.760 --> 00:44:55.159
any I don't know if there was
any real regulations, but we as a

642
00:44:55.199 --> 00:45:06.480
company did everything is nice as possible, I guess so that families would you

643
00:45:06.519 --> 00:45:09.199
know what I mean, like you
just never I don't know. There's a

644
00:45:09.199 --> 00:45:13.800
lot of bad stories about crematories that
people don't do things the right way.

645
00:45:13.880 --> 00:45:17.800
So I'm just agree throw it out
there. Is not a doctor or professional

646
00:45:17.800 --> 00:45:21.639
of anything really, but that's not
a good job to have if you're an

647
00:45:21.639 --> 00:45:27.840
early recovery throwing it out there.
So if you're thinking about maybe getting a

648
00:45:27.840 --> 00:45:29.599
new job, and you're like,
you know, maybe I'll go down to

649
00:45:29.679 --> 00:45:32.559
the crematory place and see if I
can get a job there. Don't don't

650
00:45:32.559 --> 00:45:37.679
do that. No, Yeah,
then we could get deep into that,

651
00:45:37.800 --> 00:45:42.400
but it there there's a history of
that being for people, and I hope

652
00:45:42.400 --> 00:45:45.719
they had the good because like here, we have pretty good assurance. I

653
00:45:45.800 --> 00:45:47.840
want you guys seeing people. I
want you guys talking to people. Get

654
00:45:47.880 --> 00:45:51.519
that stuff, because you can't be
like going around recovery coaching people telling them

655
00:45:51.679 --> 00:45:54.840
you start to therapists, even though
I do this, but I was gonna

656
00:45:54.840 --> 00:45:57.679
say, do you find a therapist? Yeah, I do live with a

657
00:45:57.679 --> 00:46:00.920
therapists. It doesn't count. You
cannot use your life, it kind of

658
00:46:00.960 --> 00:46:02.920
does. Know. Then we have
a mouse now it's name Susan. It's

659
00:46:02.960 --> 00:46:07.519
my old therapist. But I'm looking
whatever. But but no, but at

660
00:46:07.599 --> 00:46:12.119
least like we have that here.
But like at the funeral home, they

661
00:46:12.119 --> 00:46:15.280
should guarantee you, like hey,
like you got therapy set up and everything.

662
00:46:16.440 --> 00:46:20.000
They should. I don't know if
they did, but they didn't.

663
00:46:20.039 --> 00:46:22.320
And that's you know, and as
I think about it, I mean,

664
00:46:22.440 --> 00:46:27.519
it is, I mean, all
parts of that business. It's a thing,

665
00:46:27.719 --> 00:46:29.960
you know. I mean obviously I
and that was me. I started

666
00:46:29.960 --> 00:46:35.079
when I was nineteen, you know, worked there for fifteen years and didn't

667
00:46:35.079 --> 00:46:38.280
even realize the slow progression of the
depression and everything. But it is,

668
00:46:38.320 --> 00:46:43.239
I mean, you only hear certain
stories all the time, and every now

669
00:46:43.280 --> 00:46:45.960
and then you get a nice story
from a little old lady in the cemetery,

670
00:46:46.000 --> 00:46:50.239
and you you know it's nice.
But uh yeah, I mean so

671
00:46:50.320 --> 00:46:52.079
much of it as shit. Some
of the stuff I some of the stories

672
00:46:52.079 --> 00:46:55.800
I heard of the tragedies is just
like, how does that happen? How

673
00:46:55.840 --> 00:47:01.400
does that happen? You know?
And yeah, but it was a recession.

674
00:47:01.440 --> 00:47:07.360
There wasn't shit for jobs for that
whole decade. I mean I remember

675
00:47:07.440 --> 00:47:10.760
at one point there was a place
in Cadillac and ice cream place and Cadillac

676
00:47:10.840 --> 00:47:15.159
that was hiring for one position,
and two hundred people applied for that to

677
00:47:15.440 --> 00:47:20.480
work at an ice cream shop.
I remember that time. But sold a

678
00:47:20.519 --> 00:47:23.760
lot of drugs, right, I
could have found a job. I'm sure

679
00:47:23.800 --> 00:47:30.599
it worked. It's crazy well by
working here, I got to tell you

680
00:47:30.679 --> 00:47:34.920
guys, this excellent park that you
get not even for me. What's that

681
00:47:35.480 --> 00:47:40.400
but Nolan Building Company. I don't
think that's the actual name of them.

682
00:47:40.559 --> 00:47:46.000
But the people who rent this office
to us is giving us pies. That's

683
00:47:46.199 --> 00:47:50.599
fabulous. Yeah, we get to
go to the Grand Travers Pie Company.

684
00:47:51.559 --> 00:47:53.880
Great place. They support people in
recovery. Go looking out love them,

685
00:47:54.159 --> 00:47:58.800
Yes, big fans. They're big
fans of people in recovery, so I

686
00:47:58.840 --> 00:48:05.000
love them even more now exactly.
But they are the Jill Nolan who like

687
00:48:05.079 --> 00:48:12.320
said, Princess's play this place.
She's giving us those sweet So yeah,

688
00:48:12.639 --> 00:48:17.199
was that for everybody on the team? Tyrone included Mm hmm, that's awesome.

689
00:48:19.000 --> 00:48:21.840
He deserves a free pie. So
we got six employees, but I

690
00:48:21.840 --> 00:48:23.440
said, well, hold on because
Martie and I could share the pie.

691
00:48:24.039 --> 00:48:30.599
Said we have five. That was
sweet. But it was sweet of them.

692
00:48:30.360 --> 00:48:32.320
You know. She's like, oh, because you rent from us,

693
00:48:32.360 --> 00:48:35.599
and this is what we do for
people who rent from us. And I

694
00:48:35.599 --> 00:48:37.880
was like, oh, that's awesome. And we missed the fourth July party.

695
00:48:37.880 --> 00:48:43.360
I think we had we had something
going on. But yeah, like

696
00:48:43.400 --> 00:48:45.639
that's that's really sweet that she would
do that for us. So big props

697
00:48:45.639 --> 00:48:50.920
to hers. It's awesome. Next
time I see her, All, yeah,

698
00:48:51.320 --> 00:48:55.199
give me that, give me that
certificate. Where's that at? You

699
00:48:55.280 --> 00:49:00.039
gave him to Corey two weeks ago? What? But that that is sweet

700
00:49:00.039 --> 00:49:06.440
of them. And yeah, so
we get free pies and we get free

701
00:49:06.480 --> 00:49:10.519
therapy. Yeah, it's pretty nice, isn't it? Tell you what you

702
00:49:10.519 --> 00:49:16.239
guys, got it pretty good.
I'm happy. I'm glad that we can

703
00:49:16.360 --> 00:49:22.559
hire people with disabilities right now,
even though we don't get anything for it,

704
00:49:22.599 --> 00:49:25.000
but we're working on it. Well, you and I had and we

705
00:49:25.000 --> 00:49:29.599
were the ones with the real disability, and Mitch, justin, according to

706
00:49:29.599 --> 00:49:32.559
the state, you don't have one
anymore. So what Yeah, I know

707
00:49:34.480 --> 00:49:37.320
that's bullshit. I know, And
it seems like you're the one with the

708
00:49:37.400 --> 00:49:45.360
disability. Yeah, I'm the biggest
rear here get but I know unfortunately we

709
00:49:45.400 --> 00:49:52.480
don't get anything for that, right
so whatever, Well, do you guys

710
00:49:52.599 --> 00:49:58.639
look like you want to get out
of here? So h three something depends

711
00:49:58.639 --> 00:50:02.000
what clock you look at in my
office. Oh, it's about four forty.

712
00:50:02.239 --> 00:50:07.679
It's about six o'clock. It's about
four forty. But now, let

713
00:50:07.760 --> 00:50:12.239
let's spy. Let's wrap it up. Though, I appreciate you guys coming

714
00:50:12.280 --> 00:50:15.519
to the office and wanting to jump
on a podcast last minute without a run

715
00:50:15.519 --> 00:50:21.719
sheet. Well, but thanks again, guys, and have a great weekend.

716
00:50:22.960 --> 00:50:25.400
Good luck and fantasy except justin bad
luck for you. I don't need

717
00:50:25.440 --> 00:50:30.280
it. Thanks for listening to the
two seventeen Recovery podcast. We hope you

718
00:50:30.400 --> 00:50:32.239
come back for our next episode,