Welcome to Laura Kane after Dark. This is our very special holiday episode.
As you can see by our festive outfits. Thank you Maggie for these outfits.
She's like, you have to wear these on your Christmas show to be
festive. And actually, I'm very comfortable. How about you? Very comfortable?
We are both in onesies and we are. Eric is very sick,
but you're feeling better, much better. He called me. Was it Sunday?
Yeah, well yeah it was Sunday. And he is like, oh,
you sounded so bad. He couldn't even talk without coughing, and you
were like, I will tell the story so you don't have to talk as
much. Thank you. He said, I've been in bed for four days
straight, laid up, coughing. I can't even say any words without coughing.
And finally I called my doctor. My doctor gave me some good stuff,
like the cough medicine with codeine, but some other thing. And so
he started to make a turnaround and uh, yeah, look at the camera.
I know it's your new haircut. No, the problem is that normally
I'm right behind the camera. I know it's true. We kind of here's
what he's looking at the screen. I'm like, where the heck is she
looking for? I know she's looking at me. There's Instagram there, there's
YouTube there. Now here's the thing. We've kind of configured the studio a
little differently because Eric and myself actually we are doing and Brian we're doing a
gift exchange tonight and Eric and I are doing We've we've we've decided that this
Christmas, we're not really going to get each other something real. We were
going to try to find the most hideous things we could possibly find for each
other on TIMU and that was going to be our gift exchange. And wouldn't
you know that both of us found like ten different things. Get buckle up,
okay, And he claims that a lot of them, or I feel
like a lot of them are clothing related. So we set up a camera
looking in a different directions. So when we do open the gifts and he
makes me try them on, or I may or I make him try them
on, you never know, I may have gotten you something crazy to wear
too, Yeah, among other things. Yeah, I can't even wait.
I can't either. We have a camera pointing over to this other section,
so you guys are going to get to see it. So that's why we're
kind of like, anyway, thank you for joining us. We really appreciate
it. And you're the sexiest Missus Clause I've ever seen. Is this what
missus clawswears? Or am I an elf? I think I'm more of an
elk Are you missus Claws became a hooker? What makes me hookeri? Ish
my hair, my lips. You're wearing like a fish net top under I
know, but it's shiny. See can you see the shiney is? I
don't know. I'm trying to be festive. Youast out of times. Thank
you, Oh my god. Before we get to talk about our fabulous sponsors,
let me just show you what has been added to the Magical Holiday Box.
The Magical Holiday Box is something that we are auctioning off. Each each
entry is five dollars and the money raise goes to the Dollhouse sober living home
where the girls need just basic items and they also need, you know,
things to do outings, field trips, and we're going to fund some of
that. And you guys, what are you doing? Oh my god?
Let me just say thank you so much to those of you who have already
donated money. Some people have donated one hundred dollars. That means their name
goes in twenty times, and so we're gonna pick the name on Thursday.
The winner. We're gonna put every name each time into a box. Look
what we've added to the magical. It's over twelve hundred dollars. Now this
box is worth Now here's number one Crack Tacos fifty dollars gift card, the
best tacos you're ever gonna eat. Oh yeah, in your life. It's
right near where Chili's is, near San Diego State, all right off the
eight and Mission Gorge. This particular prize is something I would love to win
because Lash extensions by this woman who's been doing them since twenty fourteen. She
does excellent work. And that this is worth over two hundred dollars. If
you want the Mega volume Lashes, but you can choose. If you want
classic our Mega volume, you get those two worth over two hundred dollars.
Then we have brand new Laura Kane after Dark Merch. This is a super
soft sweatshirt. It's is that black or dark blue? I don't. We
have a dark blue one too. It's extra large. Everybody loves a large
hoodie right. Then we have a doll Face Club hoodie as well, handmade
by Claya who was on the show. We love her so much. Then
we have the fabulous stuff from San Diego, crystals and jewelry, one of
them being this really pretty necklace which is a tiger's eye heart. And then
the box which is handmade. It's wood, it's carved, and inside there
are crystals, there's jewelry, it's just full. That thing is worth one
hundred and fifty dollars alone. Then I have something really random to show you
at the very end too. We have one of these cool things from a
lanyard from the Doll Face Club two hundred oh five hundred dollars six hundred and
twenty dollars value at La Joya Cosmetic because you get a year's worth of membership
at Glham Fam which is worth one hundred and twenty dollars plus five hundred dollars
gift card to use anyway you want it at La Joya cosmetic surgery center in
Medzva. Jay Wurtzler said, how would you like me to get you the
money? Do you want it in a gift card or cash? And I'm
like you know what, cash is always the best, So you get two
hundred dollars cash and then randomly, do you guys watch Southern Charm on Bravo?
Do I look like I watched Southern Charm? Have you heard of Southern
Charm on Bravo? Do I look like I've heard? No? I have.
Okay, there is a guy on the show who started his own business.
He started his own sewing business. His name is Craig Conover. He's
one of the one of the cast members. Anyway, he sent us a
handmade pillow oh wow, which is worth fifty dollars because it's the ultimate plush
model. This is It comes with this little card and everything which fell out
obviously. This is from Bravo's Craig Conover. It's just a it's a really
plushy little and if you have a person in your life who's a firefighter,
or if you have a Dalmatian, cool cool cool yeah, donated by Bravo.
So cool. Yeah. So this box Thank you Bravo, is really
there. You go something special. So if you would be so kind as
to donate whatever you can, five dollars is the minimum and that gets you
one entry into another box. That we're going to put names into and then
we're going to pick the name on Thursday and we'll let you know if you
want. And good luck and thank you already if you've donated, thank you.
We are looking it over already seven hundred dollars, close to eight hundred
dollars. Yeah, So I really would love to hand them a check for
as much as that box is worth. Yeah, because that the girls would
be so stoked, Oh my god, so incredibly stoked. So there is
the magical holiday Box. Oh my god. I can't even wait to you
guys. Oh we have so many presents to open. Do you even realize
that? No? Okay, but first we need to thank the sponsors that
have stuck with us through thick and thin, and that one, for sure,
without a doubt is Jay Wartslow Capital Growth Inc. All year. Yeah,
yay, Oh my god, I'm so excited. He is such a
good person. And every time I ask him, like hey, would you
like to do and eat something? Or can you help, He's always willing
to help. Here's more about Capital Growth Inc. And managing your money.
One quick second, keep talking, okay anyway, So okay, before we
I just want to say one quick thing. Okay, I just wanted to
thank everybody that DMed me and messaged me and everything after I told the story
about my mom. Very very sweet of you guys, Like what kind of
just really really nice things that people were saying. So I really appreciate it
people that could relate to what you're saying. Yeah, that is exactly what
we want to do. Super super sweet and of course much Eric is the
darling of the podcast as usual, because everybody, all the messages I got
were, oh my god, Eric is amazing that he came through for Brian.
He did that for Brian. The Keanu thing was so incredible. Eric
is the best. He is the best. Would you like to call me
a delight now? Later? You are always a delight. I get a
little jealous because everybody likes you better than they like me, but you know
what, that's okay, and to understand because you are very likable and that
was like the coolest thing that well, you're the coolest thing, whipcracker.
So I know I'm bossy. I have to. I have to keep you
know, things online here, so sometimes it comes across as not so nice,
but uh, I just really want to thank all of you guys for
sticking with us all year. Thank you guys so much. We love you
so do we have Jay Wartzler's Capital Growth Think at or no, Brian,
are you ready to do your financial future? Look no further than Jay Wartzler.
You're trusted and our favorite certified financial planner. Life is full of financial
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you're unsure about what your options are with your current retirement plan, please reach
out to j. Jay Wurtzler and the team at Capital Growth go the extra
mile to ensure your financial success. Their office is a one stop shop for
financial advising, estate planning, tax preparation and divorce analysis. Call J today
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at jayw at Capitolgrowthinc dot com. You know who always steps up to help
us out, who always is willing to help, who always does an incredible
job. La Joya Cosmetic Surgery God Hi, doctor Reader, I Monique,
I love those Doctor Swiston more than doctor Swiston gave me these. Thank you,
doctor Swiston. Doctor Salazar was really great. The girls in the office,
Oh my god. Anyway, that helped me with my skincare regime,
which is looking on fleek right now. Thank you. Right just rolled his
eyes at that. No, I was actually gonna say. His skin does
look really good, doesn't it. I did roll my eyes when you talked
about your boom. So thank you. Here's more about Lahoya Cosmetic Surgery Center
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Go to dot com and the newest sponsor to join us is San Diego
Crystals and Jewelry. Evan and I are going to go visit the Obe store
on Newport tomorrow because I have a gift to buy somebody who lives in this
home and I'm very excited to buy or something you shouldn't have, Laura,
not you. They have everything at San Diego Crystals and Jewelry. And the
guys there, they're eight brothers. They are the nicest people. And if
you say when you walk in there to their store in ob or their store
in La Joya which is on Prospect, that's the new one right across from
Drake's, and you say Drakes Dukes Dukes Sorry, same difference, sick,
gay, He's sick. If you say Laura Kane after Dark sent me,
they will give you a free amethyst crystal and not a teeny one like a
substantial one. They're very, very very kind, and they will work with
you. If you have jewelry you need fixed, you want something special made,
you have a design in particular that you maybe want them to create,
they can do all of that stuff. They are phenomenal. Lahoya ob go
see them. Get your Christmas gifts at San Diego Crystals and Jewelry. We
love you guys. Thanks guys. Okay, so now I've been really excited
to talk about this host chat and finally I'm allowed to. I was wondering,
actually, okay, I didn't trip on anything today. Huh. I
didn't trip on anything today. That one right over my head. Never mind,
I'll explain it to tell you. First, I think, okay,
remember when I had the concussion. That was like what month are we?
We are in December, so that was like maybe May, maybe even April.
I think it was April, Okay, I had I just got the
slash in my head because I fell against the shower while I was getting up
from going pee and it was embarrassing. Blah blah blah, huge thing.
Got a bad concussion. Don't remember a week of my life? Well,
this the day after I was filming a show for TLC with Kimbali from Ninety
Day Fiance. It's called ninety Day Diaries and it follows cast members what they're
doing now. So we had this whole setup where we went me, Jody,
and Kimberly went to Manhattan, La Jolla and we had like three different
cameras set up and producers talking to us, and they'd pull like one of
us aside and say, well, you know, do you have any advice
for Kimberly about her relationship or how do you know Kimberly? Okay, I
gotta tell you, I don't remember one one thing. Can you imagine how
she is? She's like, uh, make sure I have no idea what
I said, but I do have some feedback apparently, like I've been able
to talk about this because it say I didn't know about this, No,
because it airs I didn't know about it. Now we can talk about it
because they're teasing it on TV. It's going to be on our episode January
eighth, which is a Monday night. That's my birthday. I know it's
I know, sorry, gonna miss it. Gonna miss it. Got to
watch it with Kimberly and Jody. You want to come you want you want
to celebrate your birthday with us? Oh no, you're celebrating. No,
he has other plans. I'm sure. But so the producers apparently told Kimberly
that what she filmed that night was their favorite thing they've seen. No way
could mean one of two things. There's drama that Laura does not remember.
It could mean I something was said that oh created some kind of that's going
to make viewers go what or maybe did I fall? Did I what did
I do? What should I probably sat and just stare it at the camera,
didn't say anything. I know, Laura is about to find out that
like everyone actually hates her and all like the side pane, oh my god
talking to her. Well, Tad, who we had in here, was
there playing the piano at Manhattan. He came over and he talked to us
for a little while, so I do remember that a little bit. And
then we were just talking about dating and like, oh, she was so
mad about her relationship and what she's going to do now, and and uh,
we were just having a really good time. And now I get to
see what the heck and I mean. Even in the little trailer, there's
a little part where We're sitting at one of the tables having dinner and we're
toasting cheers and it's a really quick thing, but it's probably just like some
awkward thing where like Kimble's talking about her relationship and you and you just like
like blurred in and you're like, I haven't been with a man in month.
Oh my god, oh my god. Oh, by the way,
Hijackie, if you're watching what Jackie I say, was it like superscripted?
Not real? They don't say that, no, not even a little bit
interesting. The way the diaries are filmed, there's not actually a producer present.
They're actually on like a phone, but they are directing you. And
then we had to set up the cameras ourselves, like to get all the
angles, and then uh, the producer was in her ear telling her like
okay, well move over here, do this, do that. But January
eighth, TLC ninety Day Diaries, Oh yeah, I'm gonna be on the
show, thank you very much. Or not. This could either like I
know totally, oh god, that could happen, or who knows. But
how exciting, right, I'm so excited. Oh I finally get to talk
about it. So January eighth. There you go Eric's birthday. Oh my
god, and that's a podcast night too, So well, you don't want
to do the podcast on your birthday? Hell though, all right, we'll
have to do a Tuesday podcast. Oh sorry, we're not fun enough for
you. Here's the next couple of weeks. This is what let me give
the schedule. Okay, because Eric's it's not Eric's fault. This is just
how it's ironing out. We are taking next week off, like pretty much
everybody else in the world between Christmas and New Year's. New Year's Day falls
on a Monday, so I was all game to do the podcast New Year's
Day. What do you do on Newyear's Day? Nothing at night? Carently
somebody does. So we're gonna do it on the second, which is a
Tuesday. So the next couple of weeks we're gonna do our lives on Tuesday.
So Tuesday the second, and then Tuesday the ninth. Okay, oh,
and then on Tuesday the ninth January, we have Monique from the hoy
Cosmetic coming in. Oh boy, yeah, okay, wait real quick round
the clip of the trailer that Laura is in no way to you to play,
but I'm like, it's so short. Is funny part is that they're
all laughing and Laura is just sitting there staring like, no way, I
have no I know it's not it's gonna be so yeah, Oh I want
to see it. At the break, Kimberly is great like she and then
there's another part where Kimberly is in a whole different scenario. There's two there's
two clips and one is like them all cheering and then or like you know,
doing cheers, and then one is like Jody and Kimberly laughing and Laura's
just sitting there like, oh my god, this is gonna be the best
thing ever. I thought I had the best time ever. I guess not.
I guess I was just like, oh, you're like smiling like you're
waiting for them to say something, and they're all laughing. Oh, this
is gonna be the best. This is gonna be said terrible. Well,
they're gonna look great, but oh boy, I'm gonna look like horrible.
Just when you think you're hot, shit, all right, you get your
concussion. Oh my god, I don't remember a thing, not a thing,
which this is gonna be great. My mom is gonna be thrilled because
she loves a ninety day fat Oh my god, and this is like so
exciting for us. But anyway, so that's my host chat. I think
your host chat should be about what, like everybody's kind of going through right
now. There are two people in my home that are going through it.
What the heck is happening? What is this? Well? Thursday, I
I've had this dry cough forever forever, and I've been to the doctor,
I've had chest X rays, I've had everything done just because of with my
mom. And when I found out lately, I wanted to make sure that
I was okay, and so everything was fine knock on wood. But I've
had this just this dry cough that I couldn't get rid of. So on
Wednesday night, I think it was I decided to take new snacks. Okay,
even though my cough was just dry musins, isn't it that for like
when you're snotty? Yes, So all of a sudden, my cough got
really really bad, like super deep. I couldn't sleep Thursday night. I
was up and down and not sleeping. And then Friday I went to a
cooking class and I could barely make it through it. I was just crazy
how when you get sick, it just all of a sudden, you're not
that sick, and then you're sick. Well yeah, and it happened so
quick it was fine, you know, Like I was just like, oh,
I was just like I just want to go home and go to bed.
So then Saturday morning, I was still coughing, and I went to
work and I turned right back around and left and went home and spent the
next four days in bed. Wow, well, I'm glad. I'm sure
your coworkers were glady when you were coughing. Yeah. I haven't heard you
cough once. No. I called my doctor yesterday and I was like,
look, I don't want to come in. I just need something to get
rid of this cough. And it was I didn't have a fever, I
didn't have COVID, I didn't have any of that. It was just the
congestion and the post nasal drip was making me just cough even more so for
three days I hadn't slept, And so he sent a little gnagurie of good
stuff over and God, are you out of it right now? Like,
oh, no, would they give you? Uh? They gave me.
I forget what the name of the cough syrup is, but it's talk about
a suppressant. It is it the one with codine in it? Yes,
because when you actually need coding or coughs up with coding, it doesn't make
you It just helps you feel better. Oh yeah, and codin also stays
in your system for like forty eight hours too. It depends on the dosage.
But I mean, that's coding, is what they make lean out of
it. I know, but but that's when you're if you're not sick and
you take it, then you feel the effects more. I would think of
the coding. I think so, I don't know. But anyway, well,
I'm I'm glad it worked. Yes, it totally did. We got
to have our show. I know I leave Thursday too, So have you
missed it? I was, Oh, that's right, Oh that's right,
you do. Yeah? Oh are you so happy? Yeah? But don't
give me sick. No hugging, no hugging. Okay, totally fine.
He's sucking on ginger ale and he's like, well, because it helps otherwise
I get super horse. No, I'm totally fine. All right, So
we have quite the gift exchanged. Oh yes, we do. We've been
looking so forward to this, Eric and I especially because we decided to get
each other the worst possible things we could find on our favorite site team and
boy, oh boy, are you you? So we've kind of set up
the camera in a we're going to see how this works out. But first,
do you have some double D news? I do very coat. While
you do that, I'll move the box out of the way and move the
camera so we can get like situated. But I'll be listening. Okay,
you better be. I'll be engaging. Kendall Jenner and Bad Bunny have split
it. Can I hear? Can I hear crickets? Please? I you
literally because I don't care. Celine Dion's sister claims the singer has lost control
of her muscles in stiff person syndrome battle. Okay, I know. Demi
Levado is engaged to Jordan Lutz after one year of dating. Okay, Jordan
Lutz, I think is a singer songwriter. Weird, This is very sad
news. Matthew Perry had levels of ketamine used for anesthesia, so I guess
he was on it for depression. I didn't even know you could be on
I thought ketamine was like a party drug. Uh both, but there is
a whole uh, there's a whole way of helping you with anxiety and depression
that has to do with ketamine. And it's like the dosage amount. It's
a to be like a new way to deal with depression and anxiety in a
very what he's a closely monitored way. So maybe he was doing that.
Maybe he was just taking it for no And that's what they were saying,
is that he hadn't taken his last dishes. Was like his therapist was weaning
him off of it because he was doing really well. And so what happened
is they think he might have just taken a little bit too much and sitting
in the hot tub accelerated it crap and put him to sleep. And he
that's had he not got in the hot tub, and they think he would
have been fine. If you were to take kenyine as a party drug.
Is that? Does it make you feel Brian? Do you know this?
Is it? Does it make you feel drunk? Does it? Sure?
It's assant. So I remember I will never forget working when I worked for
where house up in the Hillcrest, It's not there anymore. But it was
over gay pride and there was I remember we were out on the balcony.
We were all working, but we were like throwing things at people and a
guy was crossing the street and I guess he was on ketamine and passed out
and got hit by a car. I'll never forget that. So, like
that knocks you out. So it's a disassociate of an aesthetic, so it's
to depress it. But it's also hallucinogenic in the right doses. Yeah,
So they don't think it was an overdose or anything like that. They just
think that he took it and sitting in the hot tub accelerated it. So
so the most anticipated movies of twenty twenty four, there's only two that I
care about. The rest. I couldn't care less about Deadpool three, Hell
Yeah, Beetlejuice two, maybe Ghostbusters, Frozen, Empire, maybe Dune Part
two, Venom three, Despicable be four, Inside Out two, Lord of
the Wings, Rings, The War of War. No, it's an animated
prequel Gladiator two. Yeah, Quiet Place Day one. I'm all in for
that one. I love the Quiet Place movies. Wonka No, No,
yes, what. I'm not a big fan of Willy Wonka in general,
but like I really could Timothy challomet and like a weird musical thing. I
enjoy that, dude, That's my favorite movie. And apparently I saw him
on Jimmy Fallon. Wait did you see Wonka yet? No? Oh,
okay, but I saw Jimmy Fallon interview Timothy Shallomey and Jimmy Fallon was going
crazy. He's like, this was it was joyous, it was awesome.
It was like they had to do it. But he I mean, I
feel like he really meant it. And Timothy Shallamy was like, this was
the most fun, like exciting, inspiring movie I've ever made. Like I
really want to see what we see you. It's getting good reviews, but
I still don't care. I don't care either. You're not going to see
you with me. Who's going to see in them at the lot with me?
No one? No. So the most anticipated new performances of twenty twenty
four, there's only one that I even care to see, Lady Gaga as
Harley Quinnon Joker fole do that's a musical. Yeah, yes, I'm tentatively
curious. I love Lady Gaga, but I couldn't care less. I hated
the Joker, I love hated it. I loved that movie. Jenna Ortega
in Beetlejuice too. That's a good guest. Now this one I do want
to see. Ariana Grande is Glinda and Wicked Part one. Care Yeah.
Chris Pratt is the voice of Garfield Garfield now Gag Pedro Pascal and Gladiator two.
He was good in Game of Thrones as a Yeah, true as a
homosexual stock handsome fiber. Yeah. Taylor Swift has the first billion dollar tour
of all time? Are we at all surprised? Her tour so far has
made one point zero four billion. Beyonce comes in at second with five hundred
and seventy nine point eight million, lot less, Bruce Springsteen and the East
Street Band three hundred and seventy nine point five million, cold Play three hundred
and twenty five point five million, Harry Styles two hundred ninety point five million,
Morgan Wallin two hundred and eighty four point eight million, Ed Shearon two
hundred and sixty eight million, Pink two hundred and thirty one point seven million,
The Weekend two hundred and twenty one million, and Drake one hundred and
eighty four point nine million. I just read somewhere that Madonna's tour is just
kicking ass too. Aren't you going to go see that? Yeah? In
la Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. There are people that saw
the Taylor Swift tour like multiple no. Oh, yeah, that's crazy.
I know people that have seen that movie like ten times the show, and
and she's adding more tour dates as we speak. God, you know what
good good for her? It's a great She's a billions incredible. That's insane.
I know, my god. I never thought that Dakota Johnson and I
had anything in common. Do you know that? You know Dakota Johnson,
right, daughter of Melanie Griffith? Is she the one? Yeah? Don't
care for it all. She's a terrible actress. For Yeah, I never
thought that we would have anything in common, but it turns out we do.
Really. Yes, we need at least ten hours of sleep at night?
Is that what she says? She needs? Ten hours of sleep?
Makes sense? She could easily go fourteen hours. I haven't seen her give
a good performance in the movie yet, not to hate, but I did
like her in what was it that I just recently saw her in? Anyway,
that is the luxury of being able to sleep for ten hours. No
I don't, or fourteen that's what you can. You can do that when
you make the big money for starring in the movie where you get banged fruit
two hours. So well, i'd want to sleep for fourteen hours if I
was banged for eight hours a day money that's yeah, fifty shades some money
shots. Okay, now how do you suggest we do this? All the
gifts are over here now. I think producer Brian should go first. I
watch you guys open mind last though. Oh really, but you're gonna well,
I think you should open yours from me first, because after this one,
I don't even think I need to open it. I mean, I
might as well just keep him right there. You just have the return receipts
so he can take it back. Keep him for next year. No I
didn't, but you know what came for the next year. Maybe the standard
will come back. Yeah, maybe probably keep it in his garage. Correct,
come over here, let me social cameras. Okay, Brian? You
well, okay, because I know. Sorry, Oh my god, this
is exactly what I wanted. Oh my god, lord, you don't be
a brad. You out did yourself, came you'll have plenty of Here we
go, Here we go. It was your request and I came through.
Yay, oh yeah, baby, yeah, very cool, very cool,
very nice. Okay, your next gift is the one that's on top of
it has the little like anime figures. There you go. Yes, that's
very cute, isn't that? Yeah? Is it bigger than a bread box?
No, it's not bigger than a bread box. It's a little bit
smaller than a bread box. It's heavy, and I got that wrapping paper.
Have you ever heard of this store called Dazo. Yes, it's like
an Asian dollar store and they have the coolest things. No, no,
no, no no. I wanted this because I thought it was really cool.
It's a book series written by a general well, Laura Kane, and
basically he says, if you want, it's a set of three books on
how to be how to live a better life. Oh I know, now,
look he's like to sorry, Hey, the next one, I think,
my cody that's kicking in. Yes, that one, I know,
I know. I hope you like this because I'll say something in a minute.
But do you want to do you want to get excited? Don't get
too excited. Now, I am a nerd. Yes, it's such coffee
table book about Disneyland's favorite place on the planet. Oh that's cool. But
the funny thing was the other does a great job on their books. The
other tap didn't he say? Who would want a coffee table Actually? I
do like you. But I saw that. I was like, all,
Brian would like this because it's nice. All right, Oh that's cool.
Yeah, you are a big fan of coffee. I'm a huge fan of
coffee table books. Look, can you just go through all as history and
you do? Oh? Good, Well, Merry Christmas. That was a
very nice gift, Laura, and I did think about you when I was
each of these gifts. All right, now, I think that we should
do How should we do this? Eric, I'm going to need to direct
you onto what to open first, saying okay, but I already have them
like I have them all together me too, So why don't I should we
start? Brian? What do you think? Should we start up at the
desk or should we just do it all down here? I think we should
start at the desk because I need to pick out what Okay, I think
you should unveil everything out the day, and I think, then you guys
should both move over there, Yes to show it to showing Yes, perfect,
perfect, Okay, So will you hand me my bag? Sugar lips?
So I'm going first, I get to open first. Yes, this
one, Yes, I already. Oh my gosh, it was so fun
shopping for you this year, so fun. This was a blast. Okay,
here we go. So he talks a big game. Here's your card.
Oh crap, I didn't even get you a card. Great, I
know. Oh crap, Now I don't remember. The car just says inside.
Can I read it? Yes, you can read it, Dear Laura.
I'm so blessed to have you as a best friend and partner in life.
I can't imagine my life without you. Merry Christmas, and I know
twenty twenty four is going to be so incredibly amazing. I love you eternally.
And then look at this, he look along us. That is the
sweetest thing. Thank you, And now you're about to and now you're about
to desjoy me. That was really sweeter. That meant a lot to me.
Thank you, thank you, welcome. I kind of forgot your card
a great. I was too focused on all the things fantastic. Oh my
god, you have a lot. Okay, okay, okay, so I'm
going to open all yours and then you're going to open all of mind.
Is that how we're doing it? Okay, so these go together? Okay,
Oh my gosh. This okay, that's a lot of stuff. That's
a ton of stuff. It's wow. All of it's probably like a dollar
dollar fifty. But you know what, I can't even wait to see what
you got. Oh well, you should probably open this first because this is
since you had your car cleaned? My car? Yeah, mm hmmm,
kind of Okay, here we go. I love the elf wrapping paper.
Okay, let's see this is. Oh that's so nice. It's a car
airp. I need one of these because mine ran out. And guess what,
it's a naked guy. It's a naked guy. Oh Eric, Oh,
now do you know who that is? No? Oh god, you
don't know what. Who is it? I'll tell you guys later, is
it mister t No, I'll tell you guys if you want to mute your
MIC's is it something in a hold on? Okay, mute, mute,
mute, mute. Okay, it smells good, but a little bit more
inappropriate than you. Then you thought his wiener is uh covered with censored the
uncensored in it's is it impressive? It's like a fire height. It smells
really good. Okay, so I'm not I'm happy about that. Things I
needed one of those I need. Okay, what's next? Uh? Next
would be this? I remember all these gifts came from the website team.
Move. Yes, oh boy, something to wear? Oh yes, Oh
look at that, a long sleeve little kitty cat shirt that I will absolutely
be putting into my garage in a bag that I will never see again eventually,
but I will wear it when you want me to wear it. Yeah.
This is very it's very cheesy, but it's soft and kind of cute.
Thank you. Okay. And then this, Okay, they're just going
to keep getting worse. And oh boy, oh no, are these leggings.
If these are leggings, Oh my god, these are heinous? What
god? It's got my animal printed and it's got my zebra printed. Totally
does Oh my god, it'll like perfect with the sweater. Okay, So
that's one outfit. So I have one little outfit. Okay, thank you,
you're welcome. Okay, Now this one yes, okay, Oh wait
a minute, no these okay, this one, this is a cute little
bond tall heads. I was wondering what that was just because you know their
earrings. Oh my, yes they are. Okay, I'm putting them on.
Oh my god, I mean sircle, I mean wowing screams. Now,
you're just oozing sex right now. No, seriously, I would seriously
buy these, like for real, like somebody who's just well, maybe a
Barbie fanatic after the movie here, because these are Barbie heads, right,
okay, but those are oh my, there we go there. Madonna has
nothing on you in terms of you don't even match. They're different, little
ladies. Look at that air to the club because you'll take all the guys
home. Oh yeah, baby, I got to take my other earring out.
No, I don't, wow, you were just oozing sex. Okright,
so I already have a cute outfit with ear rings. Oh yeah,
okay, now, oh boy, fashion glasses. What could these possibly be?
The name is in the brand it is. Yeah, totally got seeing
these on the website. What else could they be? They're furry pink glasses.
They're not even sunglasses. There are glasses. I can pretend like they're
like their prescription for sure or did you not read the title? They're fashion
glasses. I met look at you? Oh my god, at that?
Wow? This how's it going? Guys? You could be in the Barbie
movie, but you'd be like stupid Barbie. Wow you look? You take
that back? I could be you. Look, I could be that so
hot? What Eric? What Barbie would she be if she was messed up?
Barbie? Remember the messed up that Kate McKinnon played. Yeah, but
that like this is you messing yourself up? So like this would be concussion
Barbie. I don't care. Okay, okay, okay, wow job so
far okay and then eight more to go. Okay, all this field.
First it was like clothing, oh god, bright yellow, yes, and
it is just Brian, you should wear this, like, oh my god,
what are they doing? What are they doing? I got my own
fashion right and right where the boobs are is where the eyeballs are. That's
kind of funny. Actually, all right, all of this I will model.
Yes, we're here after and you have some things to model as well,
my friend. Yes, okay, Wayne, these like little wait what
these go on the front? Yep, right where the badge is. Oh
god, that's what I think a badge looks like. You're not You're not
wrong. Yeah, that goes with the yellow tops you outfits. Thank you?
Okay, okay, oh god, more another here, and you have
to wear both of them. No, wait, this one needs its own.
Hold on, let me take these off for I actually kind of like
these. They're kind of fine. I was afraid you would. Okay,
ready, off, hi everybody. Oh god, oh my god, crushion
Barbie, just I know these are kind of hell again, I can't see
anything, but oh wow, wow, there are two hands that are like
covering my eyes. They're plastic hants. Okay, all right, what's next?
Uh? Can you see out of those like very bare, very little?
I don't remember what this is? Uh? Oh well you do know?
Are you giving me like the worst one last? Yes? Okay,
okay. The best part is he's got like eight packages here, and all
of them together costs like seventy five cents. I know, I know.
Okay, so let's see here. Let's see here. Let's see here.
It's something small. Oh yes, what the hell is this? This the
most disturbing things I've ever seen? Ire Like, Okay, I old thought.
I have no idea. They're eyeballs than when you tilt your head,
the eyes open and close more earrings. They're like dot doll eyeballs. Yeah,
those are gross, They're disgusting. Oh my god. So I can
wear this with the yellow eyeball top for sure. These glasses. Yes,
you've got me accessories and clothes. I did. You're so good to me,
You are so good to me. I am more. Wait, okay,
well I know how you like your designer sunglasses. I do. Yes,
So that's pear number two. Here's pear number three. Yes, these
take the cake. These take the cake if I could open them. You
like condoments. Now, I'm thinking we're not far off. I'm thinking that
these would be perfect for like the Christmas Eve service with her mom and Jenny.
Well, I am going to like a Christmas Eve like fancy dinner.
Oh, this would be perfect to wear really, Oh my gosh, yeah,
oh gosh. Yes, how does that look? That's just like a
bachelor party like thing. Yeah? Can you even tell? It's a wiener?
It's a sparkly wiener. Yeah. I thought it was going to come
down towards my nose, but it's like flips up. We'll try to put
them on the upside down, dickhead. Yeah, there we go, there
we go. Oh wow, now they're blowdrop glasses. Oh my god,
wer knows glasses? Wo oh, all these glasses. I know really well.
I know how you like your sunglasses. I do. And okay,
this is okay, I'm not even gonna read what it is. Another pair
of sunglasses. Okay, I'm not even gonna look and see what they are.
I'm just going to take them out. I'm going to take these off.
I'm going to take it out of the bag. Odds ugly. I
have no idea, no clue. I can't even tell by feeling them.
God, these things are packaged so like harshally. Okay, hold on,
here we go. Well you know they all everything comes from Italy. Oh
okay, those aren't Hey these I don't mind too. They're a tacky,
but they're not ugly. They're so ugly attacking for sure. Yeah, but
I could definitely see a celebrity wearing those ironically, Yes, and I would
make fun of them for it. But I could see it if a Kardashian
rock these, they would be all the rage. Okay, and Laura.
Yes, okay, is this the creme de la creme? Yes, here
we go, everybody. Okay. It feels like clothing. It's soft,
which is good. Oh boy, Yes, it's a chicken. It's a
cock. It'll it'll. You can carry around all your new goodies in it.
I like it. Chicken. Yes, well, Eric, I could
put all my little things in my bag. Emergency fashion much. Oh my,
well, guess what, Eric, You're in trouble. You lost this.
I don't think so. I think you may have. I think I
may have just inched you out. But let's see, I'll see. Okay,
this is not a joke. Okay, this is not a joke.
Oh my god, this is something you requested. Oh well, so excited?
Yes, oh my, Dolphine special requests from Dolphy's Club. Thank you.
No, he got the one with a girl. Yeah, that one
is my favor. Okay, so that one is not a joke. That
one's real. Walked away with it. They're great sweatshirts and there they are.
I love them. Okay, thank you, Dolphace Club. Now let's
start with this one, okay, and it's wrapped in canes. Chicken.
I don't know what chicken figures wrapping paper, but it's spelled wrong. You
never wear I felt like you needed to start with some basic pair of undies
since you don't wear them, I thought you needed to start wearing them.
I remember going to show them to Instagram to you and do not the jus.
Oh my god, you have to try those on. Those you have
to try and you're show them to them too. Oh my god, I
have a pair of No, I have some undies underwear jost or briefs.
This one. These are a little longer here. She wanted, my god,
she wanted, you know, to be more warning choking hazard. Oh
my god. That's good. Now this is important because it's the start of
the new year. Uh huh. And what do we all need when we
start a new year? Calendars? Right? Oh? I was right?
Oh god, Okay, you can tell me. Oh my god, the
Catballs calendar twenty twenty four. Okay, Kane, I think you're every every
month is a different picture of cattle. My god, you will enjoy that
every month. And you know how I like my calendars so I can write
things off to a good start. You're off to a very good start.
I have to say. Now, I've noticed that in your place there are
some blank walls. You might need a little bit of art. Oh,
so you know how, I'm a minimalist. You are a minimalist, but
only things that really call to you. I think that there you go,
get it, loser. We're doing butt stuff. Oh my god, I
love it. Amazing. That's funny. You need to put that like on
your bathroom or something. Oh my god. Now I know you get stressed
just in life. There's a lot of stressful stuff going on. Yes,
so you take this when you're feeling stressed and give it a good squeeze.
Is that a butt plug? You'll see? I don't evenine, I don't
know, but blocks make you less stressed out. Oh my god, Oh
my god, it's a poo Oh my god, stress reliever piece of pooh.
I almost got you one of these. Yeah, hey, I mean
I feel like I feel like like taking a good number two is definitely kind
of a stress reliever. Yes, but this is like that. Yes,
yeah, that is awesome. That was about the size of n this morning.
Oh, this is actually I kind of like this Actually, isn't that
nice? It's kind of actually a good gift. Now, this I read
is also very very good for relieving stress. Okay, oh boy, this
is this is something like a like a pile of throw up. But I
can't I really can't even look at it, to be honest with you,
it was very difficult to look at. Is that it comes withers. That's
gross. It is the most horrible thing I've ever seen that. Okay,
this is plastic ear and in the ear are blackheads. Oh god. What
you do is you take the tweezers and you pull out the blackheads and then
you can stick them back in again. And it's supposed to relieve stress.
Oh you should have got him the guyne logical model, except it's like extracting
like I don't know ingrown hairs or something working on it, Bryan working.
That's awful. Like you can put like like there's like gross things you could
put inside the ear too, gross. That's so creative. It's some oddly
Okay, I have not seen that you play with it? Good job,
No, but I just saw him play with it and I kind of wanted
to play with it too. Is it squishy? Yeah? Okay, oh
my god, there you go. Okay, am I doing a good job
so far? Yeah? You're doing a very good job. Okay, I'm
glad that you're enjoying your Brian's already playing with the grossy ear. This thing
is so hard. Oh my god, this is already. This already looks
hideous. This is an outfit that you will be wearing, but it comes
with something else. Ohms, I know how much you love rainbow stuff.
I hate rainbow stuff, you know, oh my god. And I know
how much you love tank tops. You have to wear this is that goes
with something? It's oh no, oh god, I gotta start picking at
this here. Yeah, when you wear that outfit, this is what you
have to wear with it. Oh god, It's like a it's like a
flag you have to wave that says like I'm the friendliest gay. Probably it's
like tickets to a Pride parade or something. Oh no, no, oh,
I kind of like it. My I know how much you love leopard.
God, put that mother on, baby, you have won. Oh
my god, Wait what I'm trying to think of an Elton John's song.
Oh all right now, good bye yellow brick Road, Goodbye yellow brick road.
Oh my god, this is absolutely you look good. It though he
did, it actually is not bad. They look like a oh my god,
a fascist. But now I have one thing that I think you're gonna
like, and one thing that is the Creme de la creme, and then
we're done. Oh my god, this is so gross. I can't wait
to see your guys out. Laura, did you get this on, Timu?
Yeah, I'm really impressed. The most expensive thing I bought on it's
like a dollar fifty. Oh my god, that is absolutely hideous. Oh
my god, because, oh my god, here's a really old picture of
me. Oh my god. Now, oh my god. Yes, Laura,
and we try on our outfits. The outfit you're gonna wear, Okay,
you're gonna wear this tank top with the little short. Okay with your
hat? And what do you need with with a top bottom and a hat?
You need something for your waist? Oh no, there you I know
what's coming. If this is what I think it is, I'm gonna puke.
It's they're so thin you could possibly imagine. I'm not gonna I can
imagine pretty. I bet I know what these are and they're hideous. It's
in the wrong box. Don't worries. Oh no, I know what these
are. I already know what these are and it's gonna make me vomit.
Oh god, but look at the oh look at the charms. Gross.
Eric hates he hates toes croct Oh so gross. It's a whole outfit.
Eric. Oh, Laura, these are keeps coming off, but I'll fix
it. Wow. Wow gross Wow. Now, oh, Brian, I'm
curious to know. Here. Let me move this over here. Hmm,
what are your thoughts on? Oh god, this is so I have to
say you one. Yeah, Laura definitely blew this one out of the water.
Yeah, you really outdid yourself. Yeah. Let me just say I
really know how to shop. Well, last time you lost, but this
time you doubt you. Guys are even now on bad team of gifts.
Oh man, these are absolutely hideous. Yeah they really are. Okay,
so now what do we want to do? Do we want to start off
the next show? No, Brian, what we have one more thing to
do? Yours? Yeah, she was about to get sassy with me.
She was about to get rude with me. Yeah, it's for the show.
She was about she was like, she threw me eyes. She's like,
Brian, I was like, are these rings? Oh god, that's
so hideous? Okay, This is for both of you guys. Okay,
oh my god, I'm just trying to get everybody involved here. All right.
This is from Ryan for the show. It looks it looks like something
really nice. It looks it's a picture of some sort. Okay, I
only see the back. Here's the back. Okay. It's nicely, nicely
framed, nicely framed, and it is Oh my god, oh my god,
it's the one we autographed and we all signed. Oh my god,
that is awesome. It's awesome until Hester comes back and bothers me. But
that's okay. She's just gonna pull a black hat out. It's a silver
lining. This is I like this. I actually really think this is cool.
It's really I really think this is cool. Yeah, I got you
know, I got my first signed celebrity item. So I feel like we
should the show should have its first sign celebrity. I do want to say
that we are changing up our set a little bit, so come January,
it's gonna look a little different. This may be part of the new set.
I think it should be, because yeah, memorabilia. Yeah, thank
you Brian, thank you love your podcast. All right, so, oh
oh jeez, how about we end this one, and then our Thursday show
we start off wearing some of our fabulous gifts and then we'll just do like
a fun little show to wish everybody a merry Christmas, since it's going to
be on the twenty first. Yes, okay, thank you guys so much
for watching, Thank you so much for donating. Don't forget we're not We're
still accepting donations to the doll Face Club Sober Living Home, isn't it amazing?
And if you win this box, you win twelve hundred dollars worth of
cool stuff and one entry is five dollars. Go to Laura Kane after dark
dot com and you'll see the little link on there. You can donate five
dollars, you can donate fifteen dollars, or your name goes in there three
times, and then we'll pick a name out of another hat. And so
it's good luck you guys, good luck, and thank you so much if
you've already donated, and happy holidays. We see you a couple of days
and we love you so. I love you guys. Christmas and uh I
love that hat. Happy holiday holidays, love your podcast. Thank you for
my gifts, thank you for mine, I love these earrings. Thank you
for mine. Oh my god, they're so hideous. This hat is I
feel like Liberachi. I know you are seriously like Elton John. Oh my
god, laid your earrings make you look more like Heidi Clume though somehow.
Thank you. Yeah, it's a weird coincidence, but I a'll take you.
I will take that anyway. Get in, loser, We're gonna go
do butt stuff. Love you guys, love your podcast. Bye bye.
No, you didn't say it what you had to say it. Say what
you know what to say. Merry Christmas? Yeah that's good, but happy
Holidays, that's not it. I love you, No, thank you for
my gifts. No, you already said that, Brian, thank you.
Of course. What do I need to say? Let's run through the checklist.
I laid one of these this morning. Oh my god. He tells
me, and please, he tells me every day about his pooping. That's
why I had to get him one of these. Love it and what else?
Do you love you? And what else do you love your podcast?
Say it all together? I love you No, not me, it doesn't
include me. Love your podcast. I love you, my sweet babies.
One of them is here. And the other one comes in a few days.
Merry Christmas, Christmas, we'll see you on Thursday. My God,
these are Hi