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Welcome to soft Core History. Hello, and welcome back to Softcore History.

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My name is Jake Goldman and I'm
joined by my two co hosts, stan

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Redchester and Rob Fox. For those
of you that have never listened to the

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show before, we are a soft
core history podcast. We don't go too

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deep into anything, but we try
to make you laugh. We try to

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find obscure stuff. We try to
find weird stuff. So get into that.

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And if we're wrong, we don't
care. We don't. We truly

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don't don't. Words of Stephen A. Smith. We don't care. We

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don't care. It's not that's not
why we're here. We're here. Don't

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hang on, don't hang on to
anything we say. Do not argue.

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It's right, if it's right,
if it's correct, then do that.

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I'm gonna take everything they just said
back. If you are in a position

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to argue with your professor or boss, use our information. Definitely use it

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in arguments. You should cite us
in your papers, because that's a good

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workaround from side Wikipedia. Yeah,
that's right. We're the buffer in between.

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We're that middleman baby. Yeah,
yeah, I get used to it.

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But yeah, also, just some
good housekeeping as well. We have

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a Patreon and here's the deal.
We need your money more than ever.

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Give us your money. Unemployed,
I'm unemployed. Well, this is why

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it's so desperate. Unemployment. Off
the bat, the unemployment office does not

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pay me for the weeks we get
paid, which is hilarious. We can't

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port it, you idiots. That's
frauds commit tax fraud. No, I

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the one place I don't want to
commit fraud is probably Texas on unemployment and

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welfare services. I keep telling you
all the time, be gay and commit

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crime, and you won't do either
of those things. Do you know how

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much our show would grow if you
were just gay? I never thought about

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it though, way and just a
gay bro. I'll have to talk to

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my wife about this. Maybe lean
into it, dude, honey, if

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you're listening, at least you'll be
physically fit. I don't think becoming gay

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just magically makes you. No,
it's like trt Yeah, all of a

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sudden, I just drop like thirty
pounds. I mean, once you inject

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testosterone into your body, naturally,
you're saying I need a microtive some test

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I think, yeah, okay,
I thought I thought of a funny joke

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to you somewhere. Well maybe it's
not funny, but I don't know where

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to use it yet, and like
writing, and it's just like a huge

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gay orgy and they're like trying to
like get someone out of there for some

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reason, like they have an emergency
or something like you can't, you can't,

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you can't take him out. He's
a load bearing twink wow man,

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and he's just getting pumped full of
loads. I think the gay movement has

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progressed as rapidly as it has because
they're hot. Yes, they're hot dudes.

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Yeah, I mean put them at
the front. It looks like fucking

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he man. Lesbians not so much, because they never put their best and

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brightest up front. I don't think
that's true. A lot of times they

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don't a lot of times. It's
uh, who's the front of either of

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those movements when it comes to like
lesbian movements, both of them. I

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want to hear who's like the person
you first think of for each of those

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movements. You're really just saying,
who's the most famous gay guy you can

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think of? Right you? Jackman? Neil Patrick Harris. Jackman's gay And

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it's like out out Neil Patrick Harris. Yeah, there's just any any gim

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bro really, just any guy in
a crop top tank top. Yeah,

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okay, but you're right, they're
hot, Like you're not really part of

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you is never going to say no
to he man, m m, you

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know what I mean. The master
of the universe. Yeah, and the

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master of your butt anyway. Yeah, we do have a Patreon though,

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do they get it? Man,
it's patreon dot com. Slas Softcore History,

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a bunch of additional episodes. We're
a bunch of fun new stuff coming

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this year, and I know we're
like, oh quote two it starts in

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February, basically is kind of this
and the content is still there. There's

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two years of evergreen content, huge
catalog, so you just need more time

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to kill. I encourage ever,
you to tell any friend you have that

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is driving a long distance in the
near future. Yeah. Please. Actually,

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Like, if someone's like, dude, I dad died and I can't

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afford a plane ticket. I got
a drive back home, you gotta be

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like, oh dude, you don't
cheer you up real quick. Not to

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plug this, but like, I
know it's a long drive because we live

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in Miami and you're from Phoenix.
Softcore History it's a strange drive. It

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I is not a straight track from
Miami to Phoenix. Well, I mean

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you gotta once you get to Jacksonville. Yeah, but that the the up,

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all right, So ninety five to
ten. Sorry, you have two

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roads, bro, it's two turns, yes, but that's that's just as

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miserable. I would say that ninety
five part. I used to do a

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straight shot from Orlando to Philly.
It was all ninety five. And you

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know what, guys, this is
the kind of content you won't hear on

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the Patreon. You won't hear a
traffic talk, So check it out.

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Maybe I always save that for the
main just to kind of extend the time.

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Yeah, that's like, get you
in. That's that man. What

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was the book? Oh, fifty
Shades of Gray got like dinged for that.

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People were all annoyed at that because
they talked about like unnecessary traffic roots

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in the book, like they're important
to you would go for already, just

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like weird you know bdsm Sex to
like I took I don't know what the

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highways are up there. I took
the ten to the fifteen because it was

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one way, so like you can't
go that way. Yeah, it was

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ludicrous. Yeah. Also, the
thing about fifty Shades too was the idea

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that a young professional didn't know how
to use it computer. Well, I

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think that makes sense to it.
Wasn't that chick like Mormon or something?

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No, Stephanie Meyers Mormon. I
don't know if this And then this chick

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was doing Twilight fan fiction. Yeah, it's Twilight fan fiction. And but

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the character doesn't know how to use
a computer. Well, she's just a

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sweet innocent girl. It's it's the
ultimate just put yourself in the shoes.

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Anyway, we're not. The whole
point is she doesn't really she hasn't experienced

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the world. This man is opening
it up everything. Actually, what I

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was going to talk about today,
we're going to talk about fifty Shades of

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Gray, what we each think of
it. I've only seen like ten minutes.

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I've never seen either read for you
to fifty Shades. A great actor

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on this very show. Yeah,
dude, I wasn't here. Max Martini.

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Yeah, we talked about it how
he was in fifty Shades. He

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plays like the dude's security advisor.
Really, yeah, I must have not

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been. So we interviewed Max go
Back and I must have not been present

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in that moment. Just half of
that episode was me fan girling because he

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was saving Private Ryan and just asking
him questions that even he didn't know the

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answer. He ship, you really
just need to talk to Tom Hanks.

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Max Martini was like, oh,
yeah, yeah, if I wasn't in

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it, I don't know. Respect
by the way, that if he wasn't

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directly in the scene, he had
no idea. I mean, what,

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it's a job, dude, He's
not. Like. I wonder how many

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actors just don't even watch the movies
there in the right I think a lot.

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I think even the good one,
because he was talking about fifty Shades

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is just a fucking job to like, you know, dog on Max.

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He's a good actor, but like
like a Celia Murphy, I don't think

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he watched his movies. He didn't
watch We don't think so he thinks he

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saw been on record saying he doesn't. Oh oh sweet, good for him.

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I like that. It would take
me out of it if I saw

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me in it, be like,
I don't know my stupid voice like twelve

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times a week, that's true.
I'm on this show, I have to

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edit it, and then I'm also
on a new UFC show called Full Casual

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Georgia. If you, uh,
if you had to listen to that as

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well. Download subscribe available where podcasting
review whoa also on YouTube. No for

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your ads, dude, it's my
adre you paying? Nope? What the

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fuck? Anyway? All right,
well I'm gonna plug some stuff in.

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Check you out at Jake W.
Coleman. No, get to your show?

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Okay, fine? Yeah, So, uh next week, big big

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holiday in Florida. Do you guys
know what it is? You know what

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it is? I already told you
so you should remember. Yeah, Pirate

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Marty Gross, Pirate mart It's Gasparill
Week. It's my favorite, I think

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college event that we did. Yeah, it's fun. It was, so

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you would, but he was familiar
every college kid in the state of Florida

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on this one particular, their weekend
travel to Tampa dressed as pirates with uh,

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I believe we all would get grain
alcohol. Yeah, kids, I

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guess call it what do they call
it now? Borgs? Yes? Would

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you know what that stands for?
Big old rage gallon, blackout rage gallons,

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blackoutrage gown. So back in the
day, we just called it riot

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punch because we watched that episode of
All the Sunny Wait where they won the

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World Series. The Phillies won the
World Series and they were drinking the Riot

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juice. So we would just fill
a gallon jug full of grain alcohol and

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some gatorade or maybe some sugary substance, some kool Aid mix and then get

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blackout drunk during a day pirate Mardi
Gras. Yeah, it's pretty fun.

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And I would most little kids for
beads, that's pretty cool, and then

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give what little kids for beads.
I would like Randy Mawson catch the beads

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over them and then give them.
Women. Would you see their titties sometimes?

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Yeah, that happens. It's very
much so. I was riding the

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same rules as Marty Groom. I
mean it's I think it's a little less

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uh dirty. To be honest with
you, Marti graus is filth. Have

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you been to Marti grass I've never
been a Marti graus Is discussed Gasparilla.

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If you're on the public side,
not the private side, Jake, you're

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probably a private boy. I wasn't
on private side. The public side is

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equally as gross as Marty. It
can't be. Yeah, to be honest,

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there's people just fucking on the sidewalk. To be completely I don't remember

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because I was so drunk. We're
in a porta potty. Yeah, I

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kind of don't remember Gasparolla that much. I remember the tail end when I

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blacked back in and like I was
like, oh, it's nighttime. Now,

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this is weird. We would routinely
lose somebody every year, Yeah,

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well we would. We would with
the fraternity go to Mons too for that

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weekend. Us. Yeah, it
is the strip club capital of the world.

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It's Tampa. If you if it's
a Mon's venus, like the size

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of the mall, Mon's Venus is
tiny, dude, Oh what isn't that

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there was a huge No, it's
just notoriously like gigantic. I guess stature.

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It's like for it's a quality of
woman. They don't have private rooms

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there either, actually, so they're
very like everything's out in the open.

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Weirdest stories I've ever I've never actually
done Monster. It's a big brother,

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little brother kind of thing. And
we had our pledge educator had to be

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like, had to get on stage
basically during it is like a whole thing.

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Yeah, but uh, yeah,
I'm not sure if we've ever,

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I don't think we've ever covered this
holiday before, but I know, uh,

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I mean usually the holidays we've covered, like Saturn Awa. Yeah,

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I wrote an entire romantic letter to
Gasbrella at CFM, did you like,

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I love you all my thoughts on
Gasbrella. So I never have to participate

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in this episode again. Yeah,
you just google that. Actually, you

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should just have AI read your article
and like in intermittent spots, you just

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click it. You just put that
in. You really highlight the thing you

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want to say and just have it
speak and spell it. Yeah. Yeah,

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yeah, So it's kind of like
it's it's definitely smaller in scale than

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Marty g Marty gross about a million
people a year, but not one day.

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It's not one day, but it's
still it's over the course of like

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well, so like the Marty Grass
celebration is there's Tuesday, and then there's

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the weekend before that. The weekend
before that too, to the Tuesday is

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huge too because there's a city holiday
and all that ship, but the weekend

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before is kind of where people really
fucking is also broken in the two parades.

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So there's day parade which we all
go to, and then there's a

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night parade on another weekend inny wore
City, which I never got the pleasure

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to go to, but he heard
his freakierbre City is just freakier than Tampa.

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Well, I mean, you know, there's a freakier event in New

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Orleans, Dan Marty Gras, which
one's the Southern Decades? What is that?

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Gay Marty Gras? Have you been
there? Yeah? What were you

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doing in South for gay party?
Was there? It's on Labor Day weekend.

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We were just there. We're there, like I looked around, like

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we just walk around like a lot
of gay dudes. I was like,

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are we in the gay party?
Because there is like a gay strip of

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yeah, Bourbon Street, And I
was like, are we in the gay

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part? What's going on? And
then all of a sudden, I was

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like I just kind of like,
uh, it was like Homer in the

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being barred. Like I just like
realized, like, oh, I think

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there's something going on. And then
I asked somebody and they're like, yeah,

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Southern decadence. I mean, dude, it was. That was maybe

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the most fun weekend I've had in
New Orleans other than my wedding. Sure.

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I mean it's kind of like I
imagine it's a lot like when you

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show up on Gay Day at a
Disney World, they're like, oh,

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it's that day, huh, Like
like what whoa, what's going on?

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Yeah? But yeah, no,
so this, you know, Mark Grass

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like a million people over the course
of the weekend, but Gasparilla is three

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hundred thousand people show up for the
event, NOLU. So it's it's a

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big deal. It's a big tourist
attraction. And there's like a normal parade

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on the streets. There's a boat
parade. Yeah, uh, there's I

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was just about to say there's actually
a full scale pirate ship parade in Tampa

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that self, so they like simulate
a pirate invasion. They had a Bowl

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game for a bit. They did
have the guest for all the bowl that's

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00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:56,879
shut up, Dan, I don't
want to talk about that Bowl game.

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Well what we'll have in the last
time you guys playing the gasp. I

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don't want to talk about it.
U cfpt us. Yeah. If you've

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00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:07,360
ever wondered why, like the Tampa
Bay NFL team is called the Buccaneers,

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this is pretty much the reason this
holiday. Yeah, so much like in

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New Orleans, Marty Grass put together
by local teams of organizers called cruise.

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00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:20,559
This is also put together by a
single crew, more specifically Ye Misstic Crew

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00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:26,600
of Gasparilla or YKMG. We're gonna
talk a little bit about them today.

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But yeah, man, I mean
this it's kind of interesting where it gets

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00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:35,639
its background. So currently, the
YMTJ Invasion and Parade of Pirates, that's

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00:13:35,639 --> 00:13:39,320
the official name of the gust Rail
Parade, ranks as the third largest parade

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00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:43,679
in the United States. And they
also do a children's parade now too,

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Dan, did you know this?
Well, yeah, they get away.

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00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:50,360
There are kids at Marti Gras and
as in the French Quarter, and you

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00:13:50,399 --> 00:13:54,200
are fucking You're a fucking lunatic.
You're abusing your Kidsick. Yeah, it's

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00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,559
not good. No, kid's gotta
grow, man, Yeah, how small?

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What's the smallest child you've seen it
during Marty Gras well? Baby,

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00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:05,519
baby's babies kind of okay? Yeah
yeah, but I did see like eight

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00:14:05,559 --> 00:14:11,799
year old weird. I think anything
like baby fine? Not well, first

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00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:15,120
off, anything younger than ten is
like what the fuck? Anything younger than

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00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:18,200
thirteen thirteen? Honest, I mean
by that point, you know you're on

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00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:22,039
the Internet show cast pros during the
day. It is a family event if

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00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,440
you do it right. So the
children's event they made it. I think

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00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:28,799
it's the weekend before the weekend after
they do a completely separate kids thing now

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00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:30,919
just because they're like, we should
just keep the kids and then when you

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00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,399
pay and go to the side.
That's a little bit more laid back,

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chill. I could see families doing
that, but yeah, avoid just the

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00:14:37,879 --> 00:14:43,200
college anarchy. Yeah. Absolutely.
The children's parade is actually the largest in

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00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:46,679
the United States for like children's it's
the largest children's activity in the US.

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Sweet sure, I mean it's a
fun thing to do as a kid dressed

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00:14:50,399 --> 00:14:54,039
like a pirate. Are you sure
it's the largest children's activity. I think

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00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:56,919
so, Like it's the large children's
parade, A parade for children. I

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00:14:56,919 --> 00:15:00,279
don't know how you designate that.
I don't know what the next or just

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00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:03,519
is it bigger than an Iowa game? Oh? Are they all wave at

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00:15:03,519 --> 00:15:07,360
the kid? They all wave at
the cancer many kids there? Not long

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00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,320
a lot of Iowa fans. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just

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00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:13,759
waving at like eight kids. How
many kids in Central Iowa have cancer?

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00:15:13,799 --> 00:15:16,320
Really? Well, a lot of
kids have cancer. I think, yeah,

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00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:20,039
they probably go there. Well,
it is it a whole pediatric hospital.

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00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,320
Are they just waving to the pediactor
wing? I don't know. You'd

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00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:24,320
have to ask in Iowa of him. Yeah, and I don't care to

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00:15:24,559 --> 00:15:31,000
no, nor would I want to
talk about that. But here's the deal.

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00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:35,639
So this thing has Do you think
Johnson visits Iowa. He's probably got

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00:15:35,639 --> 00:15:39,639
the Grim Reaper, He's probably got
a townhouse the Angel of Death in live

250
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,960
Mooyne? Right, isn't it you
North? You Iowan to Moyne. No,

251
00:15:43,039 --> 00:15:46,440
it's in Iowa City, Okay,
whatever, I got to a townhouse

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00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,559
there, I was. I did
not know where Iowa was. I don't

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00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,080
I would. I wouldn't assume it
was in Iowa City. I would assume

254
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:56,000
it was in Was it like Cedar
Falls or not? Cedar Falls? Uh?

255
00:15:56,360 --> 00:16:02,039
Not college town? What's the one
des moin? Yeah? Yeah capital.

256
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:03,559
Isn't there like a Grand Rapids Iowa
or some shit like? Yeah,

257
00:16:03,559 --> 00:16:07,120
it's lonch of cities and I no
one cares. We've done an episode on

258
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,879
Iowa. It wasn an axe murderer, but it's probably the most interesting thing

259
00:16:10,879 --> 00:16:12,720
we live in at that axe murder
place. Yeah, we could stay the

260
00:16:12,799 --> 00:16:17,360
night there. Oh, let's do
that. Anyway, how did this whole

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00:16:17,399 --> 00:16:21,799
thing start? Though? Where did
this pirate weird like pirate hooker parade come

262
00:16:21,799 --> 00:16:25,159
from? I am curious when it
started, because Marty Grass goes back a

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00:16:25,159 --> 00:16:29,080
long, long way. Uh yeah, this does not. This feels like

264
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:32,879
something new slash. It does not
go long, long way back. It's

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00:16:33,519 --> 00:16:37,279
pretty much like the turn of the
twentieth century. So the theme of Gasprilla

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00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:42,279
was inspired by the legend of the
pirate Jose Gaspar, who operated off the

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00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:48,399
west coast of Spanish Florida from the
seventeen eighties through the eighteen twenties. Different

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00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:52,759
versions of his story say that he
was either a Spanish nobleman and advisor to

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00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:56,600
King Charles the Third of Spain,
who was exiled after a romantic scandal in

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00:16:56,679 --> 00:17:00,120
court. Some say he was a
traitorous admiral of the Spanish Royal Navy who

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00:17:00,159 --> 00:17:06,440
stole a ship and fled when his
treachery was revealed. Or he was just

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00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,440
an ambitious young officer in the Spanish
navy he was driven to mutiny by a

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00:17:08,519 --> 00:17:14,640
tyrannically cruel captain. So there are
three different theories on how Jose Gaspar became

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00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:18,359
this like rebel like pirate If we
really wanted to, we could do like

275
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:23,720
an entire year of content on pirates. There's just so much. There's a

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00:17:23,799 --> 00:17:26,839
lot of pirate stuff. Yeah.
I just found out about some pirate raid

277
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:33,799
in the sixteen hundreds in Ireland and
Irish by like Muslim pirates in a place

278
00:17:33,839 --> 00:17:37,640
called Baltimore, Ireland. Why aren't
you doing an episode on that? I

279
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:42,319
might eventually, but I couldn't find
enough information about it. Oh, kind

280
00:17:42,319 --> 00:17:45,839
of just sad. It was just
like they took a bunch of Irish people

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00:17:45,839 --> 00:17:49,759
and made them slaves. Got fund
when the Muslims do it, but rad

282
00:17:49,799 --> 00:17:55,160
when Vikings do it. Yeah,
that's a good question. That's fucking different.

283
00:17:55,319 --> 00:18:00,640
It's the swords. Do you prefer
an acts? He's not a big

284
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,960
skim tar guy. I like a
battle axe or like a something to bludgeon

285
00:18:04,039 --> 00:18:08,880
someone with more of like a bat
guy. Like a club, like a

286
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:15,079
nice club, just like variety like
options. Yeah, well, you know,

287
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:18,599
whatever his origin story is, The
legends agreed that gaspar fled to the

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00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,599
virtually at this time uninhabited southwestern coast
of Spanish Florida. By the way,

289
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:26,599
it makes sense that you know you'd
want to peace out because your captain's a

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00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:34,759
dick, because colonial Spaniard military people
assholes. Really, Oh well, we

291
00:18:34,839 --> 00:18:37,480
did the fucking thing. We just
did an episode without the Patreoon, maybe

292
00:18:37,519 --> 00:18:44,200
about fucking Indian Wolverine, the guy
who those people were just cutting off hands

293
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:49,000
and feet and fucking everything. The
Spaniards, they were every insane way of

294
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:53,039
doing it. But people also were
kind of sailing under the Spanish flag that

295
00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:57,359
weren't Spanish. But these people were
like Columbus, Yeah, Columbus was Italian.

296
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:03,200
Yeah, he Vilians didn't want to
foot the bill. You know,

297
00:19:03,039 --> 00:19:08,079
Room's it's been a while since Rome. Same with Magellan. Magellan was Portuguese

298
00:19:08,559 --> 00:19:12,200
and he sailed under uh in Portugal
and put him out. No, I

299
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:17,119
guess uh, he just kind of
he's kind of a social outcast in Portugal.

300
00:19:17,279 --> 00:19:18,799
Yes, you were saying that they
don't like him there he's from Yeah,

301
00:19:18,799 --> 00:19:22,319
I mean they have statues and everything
of his in his hometown because we

302
00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:25,440
went past it, but they're like, yeah, he kind of lost all

303
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,720
credibility when he went to Spain.
Look, man, if Portugal is not

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00:19:27,759 --> 00:19:32,039
going to bankroll it, what do
you want the man to do? He's

305
00:19:32,079 --> 00:19:37,160
got a fucking dream wait, wait
for Portugal. Yeah, I mean,

306
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:41,480
if he's flying under the Portuguese flag, he maybe doesn't die in the Philippines.

307
00:19:41,599 --> 00:19:45,880
I mean, yeah, true,
maybe he gets away. The boat's

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00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:49,720
faster. Possibly they had better boats, the Portuguese. Yeah, Portuguese for

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00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,759
some reason just had dominated the season
for two hundred and fifty years. I

310
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:56,880
mean they did a good job,
they were good. But yeah. So

311
00:19:56,599 --> 00:20:02,839
he eventually he's sailing around in the
southwestern coast of off the southwestern coast of

312
00:20:02,839 --> 00:20:06,200
Spanish Florida at the time, in
the seventeen eighties, and he lands on

313
00:20:06,319 --> 00:20:10,079
Gasparilla Island in Charlotte Harbor, which
is just south of Tampa Bay, to

314
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,680
establish his pirate kingdom. You say, seventeen eighties. Yeah, okay,

315
00:20:12,759 --> 00:20:17,720
seventeen eighties. So this is the
middle of the Revolutionary War. I guess,

316
00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:18,880
yeah, yeah, we'll be yeah, we'll near the end. But

317
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:22,039
yeah, yeah, so, I
mean, and this guy is supposed to

318
00:20:22,079 --> 00:20:25,960
be terrible. There's all this legends
of it. He's just like raiding and

319
00:20:26,039 --> 00:20:29,039
there's not a lot to raid though, either like Florida is very un it

320
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:33,119
pop up at Georgia and the Carolinas, yeah, or go to yeah,

321
00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:37,759
like definitely hit like Cuba and yeah, stuff like Havana. Yeah, but

322
00:20:37,839 --> 00:20:41,880
yeah. Gaspar is said to have
taken many ships and held many female hostages

323
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:45,400
for ransom while praying on ships in
the Gulf of Mexico from Louisiana to the

324
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:51,599
Spanish main aboard his flagship, the
Flora Blanca. I gotta say low key

325
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:55,519
though, as a white man,
a dope time to kind of be born

326
00:20:55,599 --> 00:20:59,200
in if he wanted to like pick
pick and choose anytime. Uh, well,

327
00:20:59,279 --> 00:21:03,079
yeah, anytime. But you know, late seventeen hundreds in the Caribbean,

328
00:21:03,599 --> 00:21:08,359
why kind of wild West vibes.
You kind of go down there and

329
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:11,559
do whatever you want. Oh,
totally. I mean you're you have carte

330
00:21:11,559 --> 00:21:15,720
blanche to be an evil person if
you would like. Yeah, you're you're

331
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:21,519
setting stuff up for empire. You're
setting up like fruit plantations, sugar cane.

332
00:21:21,559 --> 00:21:23,079
You just live in your life.
Yeah, I mean, I you

333
00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:26,519
heard it here first, folks,
Dan thinks it would be dope to own

334
00:21:26,599 --> 00:21:30,839
slaves. I didn't say that,
you said it. You're reasoning for why

335
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,640
I said it would be dope to
be a pirate. So pirates don't have

336
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:40,799
slaves, Well, they're crewman.
Oh, you just want to be like

337
00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:44,000
a crewman. Yeah, you want
to be an unpaid crewman on the bat

338
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:48,480
well. Everyone's a hand, right, everyone, everyone's a hand this boat.

339
00:21:48,519 --> 00:21:52,279
Yeah. Rob likes to say,
well, Rob does a friend of

340
00:21:52,319 --> 00:21:56,240
mine. You're almost friend of your
acquaintance. Yeah, an unhoused friend.

341
00:21:56,519 --> 00:22:00,559
If you're on a boat or a
submarine, long enough, you're a hand.

342
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:03,359
That's right. Every long enough,
I think within the first day,

343
00:22:03,799 --> 00:22:07,920
and based on what we knew about
another episode I did with the tiny chesture

344
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:11,839
gentleman. If if all you're a
hand, if all you are is a

345
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,200
hand, you've made out real.
He wasn't a hand, he was a

346
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:18,400
hole. Yeah. Yeah, much
rather be a hand than the tiny But

347
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:21,400
listen, if you're gonna grow,
he grows. He grew like a foot,

348
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,839
right, he grew like sad He
became a normal sized boy. He

349
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:29,160
went from small, small person to
normal you're telling me, all right,

350
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:32,880
I have to go through six months
of that and I get to be six

351
00:22:33,039 --> 00:22:37,160
four for he did it for years. Yeah, it was right, So

352
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:38,480
I'm saying six months, I'll grow
four inches okay, Yeah, I mean

353
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:42,680
that stuff makes you grow up pretty
fast, and it's good for your for

354
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:45,599
the podcast, Like we talked about
being a gay bro. Your test would

355
00:22:45,599 --> 00:22:48,920
be way higher. My test is
up. I'm naturally jacked. Come back,

356
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:52,680
and then I'm six four. Who's
the bad guy from The Hulk?

357
00:22:52,759 --> 00:22:56,319
The bad guy in the first Abomination? Yeah, you're just a bomination.

358
00:22:56,559 --> 00:23:00,599
Like it doesn't look good, but
you are, Like, is that like

359
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,920
a classic Hulk? I just realized
I know nothing about the Hulk at all.

360
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,319
I just it's from the Edward Norton
movie. Okay, I just know

361
00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:11,240
his name is Pruce Spanner. It's
literally a good job, Jake. Yeah,

362
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:14,960
we get it. You don't watch
superhero movies. You're too cool.

363
00:23:15,039 --> 00:23:17,119
Well no, I know, like
I fucking know, Like, yeah,

364
00:23:17,599 --> 00:23:21,759
Shark, we get it. But
like it had its day. Yeah,

365
00:23:21,799 --> 00:23:25,039
I still give him any credit.
Him and his wife just get high and

366
00:23:25,039 --> 00:23:26,960
play Harry Potter every night on the
switch. Don't play Harry Potter every night.

367
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:30,599
I played Fortnite. That's a lot
of Fortnite, even where that is.

368
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,680
I love Fortnite? Are you twelve? I get woof. It's by

369
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:37,279
twelve year olds at Fortnite. It
is amazing. No, I'm pretty good.

370
00:23:37,279 --> 00:23:38,960
I'm actually in the top one percent
kill death ratio in the world.

371
00:23:40,039 --> 00:23:42,119
Are you ranked, bro, I
am ranked. I was ranked at one

372
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:48,720
point in NCAA football on PlayStation two. Our friend is ranked Madden Player he

373
00:23:48,839 --> 00:23:52,759
is, he's ranked highly. I
am not highly ranked. Fortnit back is

374
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:56,160
I was like top five thousand in
the world on PS two. That's pretty

375
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,640
sick. Oh, I can't wait
for NCI to come back, and I'm

376
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:02,920
gonna go run. I'm just not
going to leave my house. No,

377
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:07,200
I'm gonna start a fucking with Arkansas
State. Yeah, dude, that's how

378
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,799
you do it. We're building our
way up to the SEC. Yeah,

379
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,079
you get them in there. No, I love just like I think the

380
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:14,799
team i'd always pick is like Bowling
Green. Oh you take a dog shit

381
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,240
team. Yeah, you have to, and then you make the recruits from

382
00:24:17,279 --> 00:24:21,039
the local area and like you can't
leave. Yeah you gotta stay here,

383
00:24:21,079 --> 00:24:22,920
stay home, build a dynasty with
me. But also you plug in a

384
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:26,400
punter. That's ship at punting.
I didn't even do that. You didn't

385
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:30,240
even do that. That's always fun
though, But like he has a rocket

386
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:33,880
arm, yeah, and he's got
like throw power. But they're recruiting as

387
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:36,799
a punter. Yeah, that's that's
a nice little cheat code. Yeah,

388
00:24:36,799 --> 00:24:40,319
they never thought about. Dude.
If they have like nil and conference realignment,

389
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:42,279
they should and both you can move
a team to London and Madden and

390
00:24:42,279 --> 00:24:45,920
ship. Actually they do. They
already have conference realignment in the old NA.

391
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:48,599
All I hope is they don't try
to make it too realistic like they

392
00:24:48,599 --> 00:24:53,920
have Madden what like like the movements, I don't need to Like I want

393
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,839
to be able to throw off my
back foot across field, across my body.

394
00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:02,440
Yeah, and not have to throw
in the dirt right exactly. Well,

395
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:06,799
anyway, this guy ship was named
the Flora Blanca. His exploits came

396
00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:11,279
to a sudden end in eighteen twenty
one, when, to avoid being captured

397
00:25:11,279 --> 00:25:15,160
by the US Navy, the pirate
hunting schooner of the US Enterprise was after

398
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:18,960
him. He ended up like getting
out onto his boat. He wrapped himself

399
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:23,759
in anchor chains and threw himself overboard
while shouting gasp, Perilla dies by his

400
00:25:23,799 --> 00:25:29,039
own hand, not the enemies,
which is what the dumbest way out I've

401
00:25:29,079 --> 00:25:33,839
ever heard. That's the stupidest thing
I've every Also, it's not like the

402
00:25:33,839 --> 00:25:37,519
Americans, We're gonna torture room or
like do what a Spaniard would do to

403
00:25:37,599 --> 00:25:40,759
him, like I just hang him, Yeah, yeah, that's it.

404
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,119
Or just go down. I mean
look, I mean it's it's the pirate

405
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:45,960
equipment. God bless our boys in
blue. But go down killing a few.

406
00:25:47,079 --> 00:25:49,279
Yeah, you know what I mean
inside by pirate hunter. Yeah.

407
00:25:49,519 --> 00:25:52,400
Also, I think this is the
pirate equivalent of you can't fire me,

408
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:56,960
I quit. That's literally what's happening. Yeah, which is just the weakest

409
00:25:56,000 --> 00:26:00,720
move. But no, I think
that's when you get tied to an anchor

410
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,960
and then they just drag you across
all the boat. What was that thing

411
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:08,680
again? You did that episode right, the torture attach you to a rope

412
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,599
and they just yeah, I forget
what it's called, but we did watch

413
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:17,279
that scene from Black Sails or whatever. Yeah, and like it just cuts

414
00:26:17,279 --> 00:26:21,160
you up the barnacles or whatever.
Yeah, and then you you bleed and

415
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,720
drown. You drown and well the
salt water is just pouring into your open

416
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:29,359
wounds. Uh. Here's the kicker
about all this. Despite this colorful history,

417
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,640
there is no evidence that a ship
named gaspar or Gasprilla even existed.

418
00:26:33,759 --> 00:26:37,440
Boo. It's kind of like the
lore of every pirate. Black Beard's not

419
00:26:37,519 --> 00:26:40,680
a real person, right, No, he is. Black Beard's very much

420
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:44,640
a real person, but he's kind
of based on like multiple people. I

421
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:48,920
thought, I'm sure the legend has
grown to absurd heights, but he's real.

422
00:26:49,039 --> 00:26:53,400
Sure, But the I guess the
stories they tell of all these pirates,

423
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:57,160
they're usually mashed up. Oh yeah, multiple, that's very common,

424
00:26:57,759 --> 00:27:03,799
especially as the stories get bigger a
lot. Jesus was twenty guys, Shakespeare's

425
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:07,319
a thousand. Shakespeare was just buzzy. It's just Gilgamesh coming back. Yeah,

426
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:11,240
yeah, it's like reboot it.
Let's run it back one more time,

427
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:15,359
horsecarnated. Maybe let's read let's do
him. What if you were just

428
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:22,759
a savior that was reincarnated every couple
generations, that'd be almost taxing. Do

429
00:27:22,759 --> 00:27:29,079
you get executed every time? Yeah? Yeah, well nowadays, you know,

430
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:30,759
just get a little lethal injection,
although I guess I've heard that might

431
00:27:30,799 --> 00:27:33,559
be terrible. Well, if they
don't have the proper drugs, that can

432
00:27:33,599 --> 00:27:37,079
be really bad. Yeah. Yeah, they've been doing their own chemistry kits

433
00:27:37,559 --> 00:27:41,240
in the prisons because they don't want
to pay top dollar for the killing you

434
00:27:41,279 --> 00:27:44,359
drugs? Why would you know,
how would you like to go out I

435
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:48,519
guess if you were on death row, what is your request? I might

436
00:27:48,559 --> 00:27:53,200
go firing squad honestly, like,
that's that's got to be the good shot.

437
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:56,480
That's got to be the fastest way
to go. It's actually we're training

438
00:27:56,720 --> 00:28:00,079
the police force today. Do you
even that you have to be awake for

439
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:02,960
your death? Like, can't they
just want don't just put you under?

440
00:28:03,039 --> 00:28:06,519
Well, that's what lethal injection is
supposed to do, put you under and

441
00:28:06,519 --> 00:28:07,880
then kill you. Yeahah, it
puts It knocks you out first, then

442
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:14,440
you die. But with the new
drugs or the fucking I don't like that.

443
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,559
I want these people to kind of
suffer. The whole point is to

444
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:21,240
no cruel and unusual punishment. Yeah, but if they're pieces of shit that

445
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,720
murdered, I'd rather than kind of
suffer just a little. Well, you're

446
00:28:23,759 --> 00:28:29,799
in luck because a lot of these
fucking shoot them up drugs now are boiling

447
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:33,759
their insights. Yeah yeah, the
first electric chair death but with chemicals.

448
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:37,359
Yeah, just imagine, like,
hey, what would it feel like I

449
00:28:37,559 --> 00:28:41,279
put acid in my body? That's
what they're getting. It's just like burning

450
00:28:41,279 --> 00:28:45,799
the whole way through. But uh
yeah, So archives in Spain make no

451
00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:48,640
mention of Gaspar as a member of
the Spanish court or an officer in the

452
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:53,240
Spanish Navy. The US Navy has
no documentation indicating that any of its vessels

453
00:28:53,279 --> 00:28:57,519
ever encountered a pirate named Gaspar or
a ship named the Flora Blanca, and

454
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:02,680
neither Gaspar or any one claiming to
be a member of his crew are mentioned

455
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:06,759
in the records of hundreds of piracy
trials from the era, which was well

456
00:29:06,799 --> 00:29:08,960
after the Golden Nage of piracy.
So like, even after the gold Nagi

457
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,359
of piracy, they started taking a
lot more records because the gold Nage of

458
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:17,200
piracy was pre United States. Yeah, it was like the early eighteenth century.

459
00:29:17,319 --> 00:29:21,880
Yeah, so like people were logging
this ship though too. Also,

460
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:26,200
despite the fact that the supposed location
of Gaspar's regal base at Gasparal Island had

461
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:32,759
been developed into a resort town of
Boca Grande, no artifacts or other physical

462
00:29:32,759 --> 00:29:36,359
evidence of the hideout of the ship
or his lost treasure has ever been found

463
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:40,000
in southwest Florida, despite years of
searching by amateur and professional treasure seekers.

464
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:45,240
So why didn't they look in Boca
Boca Grande, No Boca Ratone. What

465
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:48,839
it's in the name, It's Boca
Grande Boca. It's it's there, it's

466
00:29:48,839 --> 00:29:53,359
a it's a Boca. Check all
bocas. Okay, check, it's not

467
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:57,680
fucking complicated, Jake, Why are
you so aghast when I say check Boca?

468
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:02,160
It seems dumb because that it's not
on the top, but it's on

469
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:06,599
the other side of Florida. Have
you heard of people moving treasure? I

470
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:10,200
guess yeah, but I feel like
they wouldn't just I guess you know what

471
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:14,079
people have done, like name switcheries
like Greenland and Iceland. So yeah,

472
00:30:14,119 --> 00:30:18,240
do you know what boca ratone means
pretty rat? It means old person,

473
00:30:18,519 --> 00:30:26,279
rat lips, rat lips. I'm
pretty sure Boca's mouth rat mouth. It

474
00:30:26,279 --> 00:30:32,880
means blue plate special in the Spanish
early bird special, baby ratone. Spanish

475
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:36,960
meeting is mouse, so yeah,
it means mousemouth, mouse mouth. Sweet.

476
00:30:37,119 --> 00:30:41,279
Yeah. But anyway, so how
did this all come to be?

477
00:30:41,519 --> 00:30:42,720
I guess is the question, like, we know this guy isn't real.

478
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:48,000
How did this legend story? And
it's it's in Florida history books up until

479
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,039
a certain date because they're just like, yeah, fuck it exactly, Like

480
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:53,839
I'm sure at some point in Texas
history books they were like and at the

481
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:59,720
Alamo. Davy Crockett killed five bears
that the Mexicans throwed in on He actually

482
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:04,000
made a hat. He made the
raccoon hat on site. David Crockett was

483
00:31:04,039 --> 00:31:08,079
a crisis actor. David Krockett was
a crisis actor. Hell yeah, we

484
00:31:08,079 --> 00:31:11,440
need to make that sure. The
Alamo wasn't even a thing. It wasn't.

485
00:31:11,839 --> 00:31:15,559
Just give it up. Yeah,
it's it's not even the real Alamo.

486
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:18,960
We've discussed this. It's not even
the real Alamo. It's not what's

487
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:22,319
the real Alamo? That's just a
different one. Okay, come and take

488
00:31:22,359 --> 00:31:26,200
it. Okay, apparently that was
a different battle. I was making that

489
00:31:26,279 --> 00:31:29,599
joke for years there, like like
I was some and some text and let

490
00:31:29,599 --> 00:31:32,440
me up before rightfully rightly so because
I was wrong. But I was just

491
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:33,920
like, yeah, the common take
is the dumbest thing. Because the Texans

492
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,839
were like, come and take it, and the Mexicans were like, okay,

493
00:31:36,839 --> 00:31:40,240
we're going to going to and then
we did, and we told we

494
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:41,920
were going to. But he's like, no, it's a different battle,

495
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:44,759
you dumb fuck. Actually like,
oh all right, but again, don't

496
00:31:44,759 --> 00:31:48,160
correct us. Don't Also, I
kind of think you should still say it

497
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:52,480
just like keep laying in and just
like it's like a troll move, you

498
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:57,000
know. But yeah, the real
simple truth to all of this is tourism.

499
00:31:57,799 --> 00:32:00,880
Tourism is the reason we have this
right. So they just wanted a

500
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:04,519
good story to sell to get people
there. Yeah. So in the early

501
00:32:04,599 --> 00:32:07,599
nineteen hundred, it's the southwest coast
of Florida was seeking or seeing a boom

502
00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:12,559
from being a fairly unpopulated area and
not much of an attraction at all to

503
00:32:12,599 --> 00:32:15,799
an actual destination in the early what
nineteen hundreds, you said, Oh,

504
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:21,480
like the turn of the center.
Is this when is Tampa a like cattle

505
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:25,519
area? Yet it was a big
old bowl town. It's why USF is

506
00:32:25,559 --> 00:32:30,039
the bowl. Yeah, yeah,
it is. It's cattle. Now at

507
00:32:30,079 --> 00:32:34,720
this point it's ATWN it smells like
fucking humid. Yeah shit, yeah,

508
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:38,480
that's why USF is the Bulls if
anyone's curious, but still doesn't make sense

509
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:42,880
that they're South Florida. No,
that's because I don't think West Florida.

510
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:47,599
I don't think there's any other public
school that far south yet at the time

511
00:32:47,599 --> 00:32:51,880
it was made. Yeah, there
certainly are. Yeah, now there are,

512
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:57,880
there's plenty. But just for context
of understanding how small Tampa was.

513
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:00,279
Well, Florida is like the third
most populated. It's date today in the

514
00:33:00,279 --> 00:33:04,039
eighteen eighties, they're bottom, their
bottom of the pack, they're like the

515
00:33:04,119 --> 00:33:07,160
third both populated. Is the third
most populated state the past. New York,

516
00:33:07,799 --> 00:33:09,960
oh wow, in the twenty twenty
censes all the New york Is came

517
00:33:10,039 --> 00:33:16,039
down from COVID. COVID did it
the fuck accent? Was that just just

518
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:22,200
riffing having fun. I don't need
you and Jake all up in my fucking

519
00:33:22,319 --> 00:33:24,079
joke. But your Boka thing was
just bad. I'm gonna call it.

520
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:28,920
You don't yes and stuff when you're
hosting it's fine, I don't. I

521
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,559
need to be better about that,
you know what? This new year Dan?

522
00:33:31,039 --> 00:33:34,519
Oh, yes and harder and we
were like twenty days in. But

523
00:33:35,279 --> 00:33:37,119
well, I just say maybe next
year, maybe twenty twentive. We'll try

524
00:33:37,119 --> 00:33:39,039
it next year. Okay, that
sounds good, That sounds right, That

525
00:33:39,079 --> 00:33:45,160
sounds right. So uh yeah.
Basically in the eighteen eighties, floor is

526
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:49,000
like bottom of the pack. I
think they're like the thirty third or fortieth.

527
00:33:49,039 --> 00:33:52,119
Nobody's fucking there. Yeah, you
don't really see a population boom in

528
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:55,160
Florida really until the nineteen sixties census. And I have to think that's because

529
00:33:55,359 --> 00:33:59,759
it wasn't until the late fifties that
most homes at AC. Yeah, so

530
00:33:59,839 --> 00:34:02,720
you see it jump into like the
twenties. Finally once AC becomes more prevalent.

531
00:34:04,319 --> 00:34:07,199
But uh, in eighteen eighty,
Tampa's population was less than a thousand,

532
00:34:07,719 --> 00:34:13,559
so it eighteen eighties even, Yeah, so it's like seven hundred people,

533
00:34:13,599 --> 00:34:16,840
but in just twenty five years it
jumped to north of twenty thousand.

534
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:21,559
So around the time, Robbi,
you have to remember these are fucking swamps.

535
00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:23,320
Yeah, it is gross. In
order to get there and build the

536
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:28,159
infrastructure in Florida, it took time. Yeah sure, Like what, uh

537
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:32,280
the oldest city in America technically is
Saint Augustine. Saint Augustine, but Mann

538
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:36,320
Baniards did that. We have?
Georgia was our buffer. I feel we're

539
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,480
not a part of the US really. I feel like especially that's true on

540
00:34:38,519 --> 00:34:44,199
the Gulf coast because on the Atlantic
Coast it probably is probably pretty easy to

541
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:47,079
at least like take a boat down
Yeah sure from Charleston or New York,

542
00:34:47,159 --> 00:34:52,840
yeah, or Baltimore whatever, But
like, yeah, like who's going to

543
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:54,559
the Gulf side. Oh yeah,
I mean it's hard to get to for

544
00:34:54,599 --> 00:34:59,599
sure. I guess you'd go round
that's not too bad. But uh yeah.

545
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:05,760
So basically, yeah, at around
nineteen oh five, it's about twenty

546
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:07,280
thousand people in Tampa now, and
there was a feeling that the city could

547
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:10,239
continue to grow. But the question
is how do you get the city to

548
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:13,039
grow? Like it's growing, it's
happening, but like, how do we

549
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:15,039
ramp it up and get more money? Right, get more people to visit

550
00:35:15,079 --> 00:35:19,440
it. You make a dome,
Yeah, put a baseball team and that's

551
00:35:19,519 --> 00:35:22,480
right. You make the Tropic canad
though, and then you're like, ten

552
00:35:22,559 --> 00:35:24,559
years after it's built, they're like, this is a piece of shit.

553
00:35:24,639 --> 00:35:29,559
We need to rebuild something ten years
after you never do. They still haven't.

554
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:31,559
They are about to rebuild the They're
actually gonna do it. They're finally

555
00:35:31,559 --> 00:35:35,880
doing. Tropicana is not old.
It's like twenty years old. No one's

556
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:37,519
going to go five years old.
Yeah, it's it's fairly new. The

557
00:35:37,559 --> 00:35:42,559
Marlins have a state of the art
stadium in the middle of their entire Cuban

558
00:35:42,599 --> 00:35:46,719
population, and no one goes to
those goddamn game with a fucking fever dream,

559
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:51,480
Rube Goldberg machine. It's on the
outside now, it's not the almost

560
00:35:51,519 --> 00:35:54,679
the opinion major metropolitan city shouldn't have
teams. Really, people would be a

561
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:59,000
lot more grateful, Like if you
just dropped it in, like that's why

562
00:35:59,039 --> 00:36:00,960
you send it to be tiers.
He's like Oklahoma City loves a thunder.

563
00:36:01,039 --> 00:36:06,880
Oh. St. Louis, the
Cardinals, absolutely, Green Bay even like

564
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:10,199
an indie Indy loves the cult.
Indianapolis has a lot of teams Pacers.

565
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:14,000
They don't have a baseball team.
Do that? No, m that's interesting

566
00:36:14,039 --> 00:36:16,159
to me. But it's a basketball
state. It is a basketball state,

567
00:36:16,159 --> 00:36:20,119
that's for sure. But yeah,
the whole point of tourism Miss Suicie is

568
00:36:20,159 --> 00:36:24,119
to track spending from visitors, and
obviously the other like two prong part of

569
00:36:24,119 --> 00:36:28,159
that is you bring more residence and
for tax collection too, so you can

570
00:36:28,199 --> 00:36:31,599
fund more public works projects. Uh. The first verifiable written account of Jose

571
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:37,239
gaspar appears in nineteen hundred, exactly, so a fat chance on this guy

572
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:40,039
being real for sure, Like,
the first verifiable thing about him is nineteen

573
00:36:40,079 --> 00:36:45,480
hundred. He's mentioned as part of
an advertising brochure for the Gasparilla in and

574
00:36:45,599 --> 00:36:51,280
the newly established town of Boca Grande
on Gasparilla Island. So you know when

575
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:55,159
you go to like an amusement park, right and it's named like Colonel Willie's

576
00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:59,079
or something like that, and it
has like a backstory on Colonel Willie's not

577
00:36:59,159 --> 00:37:01,039
real. Yeah, No, it
turns out Colonel Willie not real. But

578
00:37:01,119 --> 00:37:04,280
yeah, it's like, you know, it's got a little backstory. That's

579
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:07,800
who Jose gaspar Is. Okay,
he's just a fake fucking guy for a

580
00:37:07,039 --> 00:37:10,960
brochure for a shitty hotel. That
anchor thing sounds fake, But I was

581
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:14,119
actually thinking about this. Who tied
him the anchor? I guess his guys,

582
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:15,880
Yes, boys did and he was
like, throw it off though,

583
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:19,920
I'm gonna be a legend for this
one. Yeah, boy was he.

584
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:23,639
But yeah. So the brochure was
produced and widely distributed by the Charlotte Harbor

585
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:28,320
and Northern Railway, which built the
resort at the end of its rail line,

586
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:32,199
so it's definitely a railroad play.
Besides promotional material and contact information for

587
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:37,679
the end, the brochure prominently features
the story of Jose Gasprilla, the last

588
00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:40,800
of the Buccaneers. It said he
had tear race the Gulf of Mexico for

589
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:44,880
almost forty years, and that's kind
of where that story comes from. But

590
00:37:45,039 --> 00:37:47,679
among its many dubious claims, the
short biography said that the nickname Gasparilla means

591
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:53,119
gaspar the outlaw. But that's also
very verifiably false. That's just people don't

592
00:37:53,119 --> 00:37:58,159
know Spanish. Yeah, yeah,
Gasparilla literally just means if you go for

593
00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:00,880
like what, it just means a
little guy bar, which is all it

594
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:04,599
means, is the little guy a
little gas bar. Yeah, where did

595
00:38:04,639 --> 00:38:07,760
Bucko Bruce come from? Bucko Bruce? What's that? It's the buccaneer's logo,

596
00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:12,239
the guy. Oh, the dude, the guy. Their old logo,

597
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:15,639
creamiles, the crimsicles. I believe
his name is Bucko Bruce. Oh

598
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:21,000
no, I love the creamsickles though
those are terrible. Unif dude. We

599
00:38:21,119 --> 00:38:24,280
peaked in the nineties, there was
no reason to change anything. Oh the

600
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:30,559
night wouldn't Everything had to be modernized
for two thousands for some reason. Yeah,

601
00:38:31,159 --> 00:38:34,559
it was futuristic and it's just like, no, it just looks like

602
00:38:34,639 --> 00:38:39,800
gas. Everything's matrix. Now everyone's
wearing leather like dumb neon colors, bright

603
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:45,079
greens, you know, not fun. Nineties colors. Neon had a time

604
00:38:45,079 --> 00:38:47,320
in the nineties two in the eighties. But those were fun. It was

605
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:51,360
funny, you know, it was
it was a good time. I think

606
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:54,000
all that the white two K greens, he had, the creamsicles for the

607
00:38:54,000 --> 00:39:00,599
bucks, he had, the Broncos
old Broncos, got it d with the

608
00:39:00,639 --> 00:39:04,079
horse and utiful. Yeah, the
old Seahawk's uniform. Yep. Yeah,

609
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:06,719
No, they were all good.
Everything just got kind of like dumb,

610
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:09,320
and now we're going back. It's
all cycles. Yeah, I imagine,

611
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:12,679
for example, I mean we're this
game that we have on the background,

612
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:15,719
Bill's Chiefs both classic uniforms. They
haven't changed much at all, not much.

613
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:20,400
Yeah, Bill's uniform is actually pretty
good looking. Bill's logo is a

614
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,480
little different, I believe, just
a different kind of Bill. Yeah,

615
00:39:22,519 --> 00:39:25,639
that's definitely, that's definitely a two
thousand. I think when they were losing

616
00:39:25,679 --> 00:39:30,440
all their this is like the updated
OJ version, when they were losing all

617
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:32,559
their Super Bowls, they had a
blue helmet. Yeah that's right. No,

618
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:36,039
I think that a white helmet too. I think they might have had

619
00:39:36,119 --> 00:39:39,679
alternates. Who knows, anyway,
you know, so it claimed that Gasparillo

620
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:43,440
Island was named for the pirate,
when the name actually appears on Spanish and

621
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:46,400
English maps from well before the supposed
arrival of this pirate, and it claimed

622
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:51,639
that the bleached bones of Gaspar's victims, along the with many old coins,

623
00:39:51,679 --> 00:39:54,320
had been discovered in local Indian mounds, when no such find has ever been

624
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:57,679
documented. It'd be funny if it
was like mermaids and everyone was like,

625
00:39:57,719 --> 00:40:00,119
oh, it was their man bones. Also, I like to think that

626
00:40:00,159 --> 00:40:04,199
Gasparla they threw him off the ship, tied to an anchor, and he

627
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:07,280
went through a man. Yeah,
he thought he was gonna bounce off of

628
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:12,400
it. Yeah. They like potatoes
the deal. Uh, and that's are

629
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:14,719
they all are? They like just
nothing but fat. I feel like that

630
00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:16,360
would just be a great source of
food for early flour. Like, how

631
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:22,480
did how did Indians in Florida not
hunt those fucking things to death? They're

632
00:40:22,519 --> 00:40:27,920
so easy to hunt they are.
I bet they did, like they should

633
00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:30,440
be, like so, I mean, look like Indian tribes should have truly

634
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:32,840
wiped them out. No, they
used every part of the body. And

635
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,880
there's a lot of fucking blubber on
that body. It's hard to get through.

636
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:45,280
Uh. There is a very very
funny troll uh accounts or like website

637
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:52,239
that advertises manatee steaks and like they
didn't it didn't look so obviously fake for

638
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:54,199
a while, and people were getting
pissed. That's really fun. They're like,

639
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:58,280
no, it's fine. They're what's
the big deal. They're great sources

640
00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:00,920
of food. But yeah, I've
I've never seen the manit meat, but

641
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:05,599
I'm very curious what it would look
like. It's all marble, it's all

642
00:41:05,639 --> 00:41:07,719
fat boy. You need to wear
your glasses for these? Uh No,

643
00:41:08,519 --> 00:41:13,559
I'm just always I do you struggle? I do? I do concern?

644
00:41:13,639 --> 00:41:16,360
Man, Are you okay? What's
your vision at? Bad? It's just

645
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:21,400
bad? Do you wear contacts?
No? Twenty forty. I like to

646
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,360
think of my eyesight as like I
live in a world like Monet. You

647
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:27,719
know, I'm just like living in
an impressionist world where everything's not as you

648
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:29,440
know, I don't need it.
I was kind of like that until I

649
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:31,880
was sixteen and I finally got contacts. But I still don't know how I

650
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:36,239
was able to play sports not being
able to see. It's crazy. Now

651
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:37,960
you just get used to it.
It's crazy that you didn't get a lot

652
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:40,199
better once you were able to see
that is crazy. I got better at

653
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:44,960
hitting the baseball. Yeah, it's
like if it's it's got to be baseball.

654
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:49,119
At least got better. Yeah yeah
basketball it was all feel so now

655
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:54,159
yeah I could hit shots either way
fair enough. But yeah. So the

656
00:41:54,199 --> 00:42:00,679
brochure was penned by publicist Pat le
moyne, who combined and embellished regional tall

657
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:04,920
tales attributed to well known and recently
deceased local fishing guy Panther John. So

658
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:08,199
the is based off of Panther John, who probably didn't do that much.

659
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:10,800
He was just a fishing guy.
He got into some ship, but like

660
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:14,880
most of its way with Panther John
from the same era as gas Bar.

661
00:42:15,599 --> 00:42:22,400
Uh. That sounds like a guy
from the John sounds like a guy now

662
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:25,400
he just died when they wrote this
pressure Oh okay, Yeah, Panther John

663
00:42:25,679 --> 00:42:31,360
is like a booster for Plant High
School. Yeah, trying to get all

664
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:37,000
these kids out of district reorganized.
But money. No, but he has

665
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:43,599
establishments around Tampa area. Yeah,
oh Plant, Yeah, yeah they are

666
00:42:43,679 --> 00:42:45,880
they are a little powerhouse. No, they're a power plant. They are

667
00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:51,960
a power plant them in a Quinas
in Lakeland. Yeah, Panther John or

668
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:55,519
whatever the fuck is name. Panther
John is a guy that is your local

669
00:42:55,599 --> 00:43:00,159
high school. Just car dealership.
Yeah, come on out to Panther John

670
00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:05,159
for October Fest. Yeah, and
then all the money goes out and support

671
00:43:05,159 --> 00:43:08,559
get Bazi uniforms high school. He's
got every fence, every infield or outfield.

672
00:43:08,639 --> 00:43:12,159
It's got a logo for him.
You know, I just want to

673
00:43:12,159 --> 00:43:14,880
own a business one day. We
got a sponsor, we should sponsor like

674
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:19,719
a local high school and just buy
a sign like yeah Bowie's uh buy my

675
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:22,360
old house has a bunch of Yeah, we can totally just do that.

676
00:43:22,559 --> 00:43:24,559
It's just it just reminds me.
It's like a Buddy Garretty situation. Ye's

677
00:43:24,559 --> 00:43:29,039
two thousand percent by Garrity. Yeah, that's Panther John totally. Uh real

678
00:43:29,119 --> 00:43:30,639
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Years later, Lemoyne gave a local
history lecture in which he admitted that

753
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:12,599
he'd written the Gasparilla story to quote
him in a style that taurusts like to

754
00:48:12,599 --> 00:48:15,719
hear, but that it was without
a true fact in it, so it

755
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:19,360
was totally bullshit. Okay, So
gaspar confirmed fake as fuck. The gas

756
00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:22,239
part is confirmed, fake as fuck. Okay, But how did a brochure

757
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:27,360
tall tale become fact? That's the
other thing. You say it long enough.

758
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:30,199
In nineteen twenty three, author Francis
Bradley obtained a copy of the gasp

759
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:35,400
In brochure and, assuming it was
a fact, include a gaspar in a

760
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:38,480
book he was writing about piracy in
the West Indies. Oh like a historical

761
00:48:39,039 --> 00:48:44,599
history nonfiction he didn't check his shit. He just assumed it. How do

762
00:48:44,639 --> 00:48:46,840
you even check it? Like you
got to write a letter to Spain to

763
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:50,920
get military records? Well, people, it would take like ten years to

764
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:54,039
write that book. But still,
yeah, the records were available, is

765
00:48:54,039 --> 00:48:58,800
what I'm saying. Like, and
there's also records from the state of Florida

766
00:48:59,199 --> 00:49:01,480
that would yea, are you not
committed enough to a project to spend ten

767
00:49:01,559 --> 00:49:07,360
years on It's probably take a long
time. Yeah, but uh yeah.

768
00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:13,599
So basically this guy. Anytime you
guys want to knock on us for not

769
00:49:13,639 --> 00:49:16,519
being right, just know that,
like we aren't altering history any stretch of

770
00:49:16,519 --> 00:49:20,840
the imagination. This guy actually did. So. This era led to Jose

771
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:24,199
Gaspard being mentioned in several additional other
nonfiction books about piracy and Florida history,

772
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:27,559
because at that point, you're just
cribbing in other people's works. Yep,

773
00:49:27,639 --> 00:49:30,039
yeah, and that's like, oh
that's a real book. This was cited

774
00:49:30,079 --> 00:49:31,519
and sourced and all this stuff.
He probably didn't include. Oh got this

775
00:49:31,599 --> 00:49:37,800
from a fucking brochurew fucking ap style
source, a hotel's brochure. Can you

776
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:39,440
imagine? Yeah, like, can
you imagine, just like you're reading,

777
00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:43,920
like a history book and then it
starts talking about steamboat Willie and like the

778
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:50,960
steam engineers, Well, we can
use steamboat Willy now public domain. Yeah,

779
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:58,519
we gotta find fun ways to do
that. Here, h steamboat what

780
00:49:58,559 --> 00:50:01,280
are you doing? How's the rim
of today? He just pops up and

781
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:06,920
like holds the subscribe sign on our
YouTube. Oh my god, do him?

782
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:08,119
But yeah, we should do that. Do that. He's just like

783
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:14,960
I saw, that's not he didn't
have a voice. No he didn't.

784
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:20,199
He can't that making mouth boys form. Later he whistled. Yeah. Yeah,

785
00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:22,440
So essentially what happened was someone didn't
do their research and we got history

786
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:27,960
telephone. It's like when dudes get
trolled kind of by like fake Twitter,

787
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:32,320
right stuff, and then like maybe
one day we'll have a holiday or something

788
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:35,920
based off of a troll tweet.
I hope, because like right now we

789
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:37,920
kind of do. And it's Gasprilla. Yeah, like, at least for

790
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:42,360
part of the country, like a
big the third largest parade is due to

791
00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:46,840
someone not looking something up. That's
incredible to me. But yeah, the

792
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:52,159
funny story about all of this is
the first Gasparilla parade happened almost immediately after

793
00:50:52,159 --> 00:50:54,559
the story was fabricated. They did
it like the date. Well hell yeah,

794
00:50:54,639 --> 00:50:57,760
yeah, they're just like fuck it, let's go. So the first

795
00:50:57,760 --> 00:51:00,599
parade was held in May nineteen oh
four after the hamp A Tribune Society editor

796
00:51:00,639 --> 00:51:05,920
and Tampa's Director of Customs decided to
combine elements of Marty Grass with the legend

797
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:08,559
of gas Bar and you know,
hypesh it up for Tampa, like make

798
00:51:08,599 --> 00:51:12,480
an event. So the first occurrence
consisted of several dozens. I mean,

799
00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:14,599
first off, this is in a
way, in a way, this sounds

800
00:51:14,639 --> 00:51:19,119
like, look, we already have
another holiday that is nationwide, technically worldwide

801
00:51:19,679 --> 00:51:24,519
that is just nothing but lies.
Thanksgiving, No Saint Patrick's Day. Oh

802
00:51:24,639 --> 00:51:30,920
yeah, Saint Patrick snakes out of
Ireland and all that shit like that is

803
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:36,119
gash Marilla. What's inaccurate about that
story? Uh, he didn't drive the

804
00:51:36,159 --> 00:51:39,480
snakes out of Ireland. In Ireland, he ate all of them. Yeah,

805
00:51:39,719 --> 00:51:42,639
but have you been in Ireland?
That's what I'm saying. He ate

806
00:51:42,679 --> 00:51:45,840
all the snakes in Ireland. I
ain't seen a single snake when I was

807
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:47,679
there. Again, because he ate
in my dreams, he ate them all.

808
00:51:49,079 --> 00:51:52,800
I've never been in Ireland. Okay, you should go. But yeah,

809
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:58,039
druids. Protestants, they are snakes. They are snakes. So the

810
00:51:58,079 --> 00:52:00,840
first parade, although they weren't Protestant
back then, they were just fucking pagan.

811
00:52:01,079 --> 00:52:05,480
Yeah, Prosumes didn't exist yet.
No, no, that was when

812
00:52:05,480 --> 00:52:07,679
they wanted to separate from the church. It was long after Saint Patrick.

813
00:52:08,639 --> 00:52:14,079
But still fuck the Protestants. Protagans, fuck them Protestants. I like Pagans.

814
00:52:14,119 --> 00:52:15,079
They're cool. Pagans are cool because
like, we steal a lot of

815
00:52:15,159 --> 00:52:17,639
we hijack a lot of stuff from
the Yeah, they had good stuff.

816
00:52:19,079 --> 00:52:21,559
They had good stuff for Steve.
They good. Yeah, yeah, great,

817
00:52:21,559 --> 00:52:23,199
Ip. We took what we needed, Yeah, discarded the rest right,

818
00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:28,320
the actual value. But you're like
you made it like wonderbread basically,

819
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:30,199
like this isn't real. Everybody loves
wonder Broad. Yeah. So the first

820
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:35,320
ever Gasparilla is my favorite one because, uh, these business guys just didn't

821
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:37,159
tell anyone they were doing it.
So they just dressed as pirates during the

822
00:52:37,199 --> 00:52:40,840
May Day Festival and like would run
up to people be like start to harass

823
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:44,920
and be like I just kidding,
come in May Day Parade, Pirate,

824
00:52:45,519 --> 00:52:46,559
Like God, I did a Pirates
any book, We got a parade come

825
00:52:46,599 --> 00:52:50,400
on, fight it out. Yeah, so they were actually riding through town

826
00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:52,960
on horses trying to simulate a surprise
pirate invasion. It scared some people,

827
00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:58,360
which was pretty funny. But what
who did it scare one of the locals.

828
00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:00,559
I don't know. They weren't a
little They thought that piets from a

829
00:53:00,559 --> 00:53:05,519
different century just showed up. You
gotta imagine like probably just some like simpleton

830
00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:08,719
what you know. But the second
gasprill of the following year was not a

831
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:16,719
surprise, as every automobile owner in
town. So geez, so they had

832
00:53:17,039 --> 00:53:22,320
Oh boy, were cars around in
nineteen oh five? Yeah, okay,

833
00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:24,840
I guess I don't know the history
of cars. Dog, we flew in

834
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:30,239
nineteen oh three. That doesn't mean
anything to me. It does, nah,

835
00:53:30,440 --> 00:53:32,840
it should Well, it doesn't mean
just because we flew in nineteen oh

836
00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:36,480
three doesn't mean we were like doing
it. I don't think we had cars

837
00:53:36,519 --> 00:53:39,119
by nineteen oh five. I don't
think. I didn't necessarily think that everyone

838
00:53:39,199 --> 00:53:44,840
would have one, Like I thought
like a rich person or two might there

839
00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:47,159
was enough. There's also you gotta
think too, this is probably largely uh

840
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:52,199
or there's a lot of like people
who you know are in industries that might

841
00:53:52,199 --> 00:53:55,880
require an automobile. That's true.
Actually in Florida too, probably a lot

842
00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:59,920
more driving. Yeah, it's not
like things are close, you know,

843
00:54:00,079 --> 00:54:02,480
like up in New England. So
but yeah, everyone with a car made

844
00:54:02,480 --> 00:54:07,280
a braade flow. So the Pirate
theme Festival was not held again though,

845
00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:10,440
until nineteen ten, when it was
revived as part of a community celebration marking

846
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:15,880
the opening of the Panama Canal and
a party food Canal way far away.

847
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:19,920
I think Panama Canal is like a
big deal at the time, like people

848
00:54:20,079 --> 00:54:27,400
like huge are conquering fucking Earth,
like Brooklyn Bridge and like before that,

849
00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:30,079
I think the Brooklyn Bridge was probably
the biggest engineer dog. It's a big

850
00:54:30,079 --> 00:54:34,119
deal now the Panama Canal. Yes, absolutely, it's important. Yeah,

851
00:54:34,159 --> 00:54:37,960
it's so important for supply chain.
It's yeah, incredibly, you don't have

852
00:54:37,039 --> 00:54:42,639
to go around two continents, like, it's great. I'll tell you that.

853
00:54:42,719 --> 00:54:45,400
Here's how important the Panama Canal is. You know that. Basically the

854
00:54:45,519 --> 00:54:47,440
Hoothy Rebels are kind of fucking with
the Suez Canal. Not not literally the

855
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:51,760
canal, but traffic that get goes
up into the Suez Canal. Right,

856
00:54:52,159 --> 00:54:57,519
if someone was doing that to the
Panama Canal. There would be an invasion

857
00:54:57,519 --> 00:55:00,360
by the United States, oh into
that territory air strikes, it would not

858
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:04,719
be missiles. I don't know why
we gave it back. Yeah right,

859
00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:08,199
we should control that. It's funny
that we built that. The hot thing

860
00:55:08,239 --> 00:55:12,079
to do was just like conquer something, but then like, hey, we're

861
00:55:12,079 --> 00:55:15,039
just actually we're actually just leasing it
for a hundred years, Panama Canal,

862
00:55:15,039 --> 00:55:17,119
Andy, you ass Hong Kong and
Britain. It was just like the ethical

863
00:55:17,159 --> 00:55:22,599
way to conquer something and the late
like nineteenth century. That's why everyone says

864
00:55:22,599 --> 00:55:27,719
we lose these wars because we don't. We just stopped trying to colonize it.

865
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:30,280
I guess, yeah, we don't. We don't really occupy it.

866
00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:32,000
We just kind of stay there for
a couple of years and then leave.

867
00:55:32,119 --> 00:55:38,719
It's because we don't rightfully don't play
by like Mongolian rules anymore. We could.

868
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:42,760
We could. We could have Vietnam
right now if we wanted. I

869
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:45,960
mean, we could have Korea.
Listen, we could have fucking Afghanistan if

870
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:49,840
they let MacArthur do it he wanted. You can have everywhere. It just

871
00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:52,960
wouldn't be worth having. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, that's the thing right,

872
00:55:52,039 --> 00:55:54,920
like, you can't just don't get
to the sun. We dont sets

873
00:55:55,599 --> 00:56:00,239
on the American Empire. She don't
want how we would take we choose when

874
00:56:00,239 --> 00:56:04,039
the sun rises. Yeah, in
the America, we just blocked the sun

875
00:56:04,079 --> 00:56:07,039
off from the rest of the world. We make a separated like you get

876
00:56:07,079 --> 00:56:13,280
sun today, but maybe not tomorrow. Japan, you get two sunrises today

877
00:56:13,440 --> 00:56:16,880
Hiroshima. Anyway, in nineteen thirteen, a gasper carnival that included a pirate

878
00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:22,679
parade and weekend festivals organized as an
independent event, and that's where the parade

879
00:56:22,079 --> 00:56:27,519
has since sprung from. So the
parade is kind of like has continued going

880
00:56:27,519 --> 00:56:31,519
except for I think one year COVID. No COVID, it still happened because

881
00:56:31,519 --> 00:56:36,639
it was in January. It was
in January. Yeah. The year after

882
00:56:36,639 --> 00:56:39,360
though, because it was bucking in
like twenty twenty one. It happened to

883
00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:44,400
Ron DeSantis is floor. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. COVID

884
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:46,199
wasn't a thing there or here.
It was after the two weeks it was

885
00:56:46,199 --> 00:56:49,480
over awesome. I'm sorry I brought
it up. YouTube's going dances. God

886
00:56:49,559 --> 00:56:52,519
damn it. What COVI just saying
the word what we've said it we said

887
00:56:52,519 --> 00:56:54,599
it three times. They hate it. Just bleep it out, Yeah,

888
00:56:54,679 --> 00:57:00,199
just bleep it out anyway. The
first shipboard invasion came in nineteen eleven,

889
00:57:00,239 --> 00:57:04,480
when a merchant vessel was borrowed,
decorated, and temporarily re christened the Jose

890
00:57:04,679 --> 00:57:07,119
gas bar for the day. But
yeah, a series of borrowed ships were

891
00:57:07,199 --> 00:57:12,000
used into the nineteen thirties, and
the current ship, the Jose Gasparilla two,

892
00:57:12,599 --> 00:57:15,760
debuted in nineteen fifty four and continues
to be used this day. So

893
00:57:15,760 --> 00:57:20,199
they're still using this old ass ship. It's actually a one hundred and thirty

894
00:57:20,239 --> 00:57:23,119
seven foot long, thirty six foot
five steel barge that they just dressed up

895
00:57:23,119 --> 00:57:27,840
like a pirate ship. It's just
like the most stock boat. Yeah,

896
00:57:27,880 --> 00:57:30,960
but yeah, the current ship has
crossed the Tampa Bay to lead every Gasparilla

897
00:57:30,039 --> 00:57:35,719
invasion since it's launching, except in
nineteen seventy one when the weather was bad.

898
00:57:35,800 --> 00:57:37,280
So they've had the parade every single
year. They just didn't have an

899
00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:42,920
invasion one year on stone boat Swemny
theres is just a party with an amphibious

900
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:45,000
landing. Yeah, it's fucking those
into that. I want to go to

901
00:57:45,039 --> 00:57:49,039
Gasparla scause Gasparilla by the way what
Marty gra is too, I guess,

902
00:57:49,079 --> 00:57:52,559
Like I mean, I walked into
fucking the French quarter of the day before

903
00:57:52,599 --> 00:57:54,880
Martin Graul, like the Monday or
whatever, and the first thing I saw

904
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:59,280
was a sixty something year old woman. It's on my Instagram. I day,

905
00:57:59,639 --> 00:58:05,039
sixty something your old woman like sucking
at dildo in the middle of the

906
00:58:05,079 --> 00:58:08,440
street. Jesus Christ. Really,
yeah, she's incredible. She was gross,

907
00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:10,880
but she's doing it well. I
was just kind of in there,

908
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:14,639
She's like in her like kind of
like lazy. Yeah, it was just

909
00:58:14,679 --> 00:58:19,639
kind of hanging out like a cigar. That's weird. That's that's troubling to

910
00:58:19,639 --> 00:58:21,559
me. Let me try and find
it. It was a troubling sight.

911
00:58:22,039 --> 00:58:25,559
I mean, and I swear to
God that was within like thirty fucking seconds.

912
00:58:25,960 --> 00:58:29,840
Judge here. Oh, I'm not
judging, but I was just like,

913
00:58:30,159 --> 00:58:31,920
sounds a little judgmental. Then when
I saw a kid like ten minutes

914
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:35,199
later, I was like, you
shouldn't be here, sir. No,

915
00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:37,519
I'm not judging her on the act
itself. I'm judging her on the commitment

916
00:58:37,519 --> 00:58:40,320
to the dude. There's no rules
in Marty Gras. Oh, I'm saying,

917
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:45,239
like she was just kind of like
a soft suck. Yeah, it

918
00:58:45,280 --> 00:58:50,719
just seems if you're in the vicinity
of Marty Grass or even let's just expect

919
00:58:50,800 --> 00:58:55,559
it. The thing that you really
need to remember if you're a young person

920
00:58:57,119 --> 00:59:01,239
going to the gasparilla, it's better
than because everyone dresses up like a slutty

921
00:59:01,239 --> 00:59:07,000
pier. Everyone's a pirate and that's
the best thing about college. Slutty costs,

922
00:59:07,159 --> 00:59:14,000
harrdy costumes. Oh my god,
this you gotta, you gotta so

923
00:59:14,079 --> 00:59:16,960
you can superimpose it. Yeah,
this is that's incredible. And she's wearing

924
00:59:19,599 --> 00:59:25,760
Is that a New Orleans like Baby
King jersey polo shirt? Yeah? Oh,

925
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:30,960
I thought, what is that?
Like? Horrifying baby the Baby King

926
00:59:30,159 --> 00:59:34,679
King, the King, Baby King, Baby King, the babies and the

927
00:59:34,719 --> 00:59:37,679
King King. Yeah, it looked
like a King baby hockey jersey. The

928
00:59:37,679 --> 00:59:40,280
way from a distance, that's the
baseball team, isn't it. No,

929
00:59:42,119 --> 00:59:45,679
it's not. The King Baby is
just uh, I mean they pull him

930
00:59:45,679 --> 00:59:51,039
out for Pelican games. He shows
up to the basketball arena, but he's

931
00:59:51,079 --> 00:59:53,840
just a maskout for the Cake.
I believe he's well, it's part of

932
00:59:53,880 --> 00:59:58,079
the whole yeah New Orleans thing.
Yeah, but I believe they also have

933
00:59:58,079 --> 01:00:00,840
an amateur Yeah, they have a
minor league baseball team called the King Babies

934
01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:04,320
too. Okay, yeah that makes
sense. That's like the actual thing.

935
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:07,199
But yeah, no, I mean, I truly, I'll be real.

936
01:00:07,719 --> 01:00:10,440
The one time I did gasprill,
I don't really even remember that much because

937
01:00:10,639 --> 01:00:14,239
decisions. I only did it once. Yeah, I've been a gas brille,

938
01:00:14,239 --> 01:00:16,000
I believe six times. You've been
six times? That's a lot.

939
01:00:16,559 --> 01:00:22,840
Wait every year did you go when
you were just living in Yeah, postcrid,

940
01:00:22,920 --> 01:00:24,119
I mean might as well. It's
fun, it's a good time.

941
01:00:24,199 --> 01:00:27,480
No, it's I mean, it's
the third largest parade in the country.

942
01:00:27,880 --> 01:00:30,320
It's a giant party fest for reverence, dress as pirates, and it's made

943
01:00:30,320 --> 01:00:32,760
off of bullshit. It's the most
American thing in the world. Really,

944
01:00:32,880 --> 01:00:37,159
if you think about it. What's
that? Just the dream of being a

945
01:00:37,159 --> 01:00:40,360
pirate. Yeah, just the dream
of being a pirate based on every child,

946
01:00:40,639 --> 01:00:43,920
at some point in your life wanted
to be a pirate, wanted to

947
01:00:43,920 --> 01:00:46,679
be a goddamn pirate. So I'll
tell the story. I I dressed as

948
01:00:46,679 --> 01:00:50,719
a pirate one time when we went
to Disney World. I wanted to dress

949
01:00:50,719 --> 01:00:52,639
as a pirate. My Mom's like
fucking whatever, that's fine as a kid

950
01:00:52,679 --> 01:00:55,280
on the ride. See. I
saw a kid go to my kid's daycare

951
01:00:55,400 --> 01:00:58,920
dressed as Spider Man for like on
like a normal day, and I was

952
01:00:58,960 --> 01:01:01,760
like, kids, a loser.
Kid's gonna grow up to be weird.

953
01:01:01,840 --> 01:01:04,679
Yeah, but if you're go on
Disney World, you can dress up as

954
01:01:04,679 --> 01:01:08,400
a kid. Sure that's not your
wife though, but she would your your

955
01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:10,719
wife would definitely dress up to go
to Disney, wouldn't she. We do

956
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:19,000
a lot of aerial play, yeah, yeah, m cosplay, but not

957
01:01:19,239 --> 01:01:23,400
in the bedroom. Yeah, in
the tub. Mm hm. Oh well

958
01:01:23,440 --> 01:01:27,599
you gotta keep her alive. She
has her own tail, Yeah, she

959
01:01:27,639 --> 01:01:30,719
sakes it up. Those tails kill
people. Oh yeah, So you've seen

960
01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:35,840
that video that there's like a mall
and I feel like it's Dubai or something

961
01:01:35,920 --> 01:01:39,360
crazy like that where they have just
like mermaids swimming around and this mermaid got

962
01:01:39,360 --> 01:01:44,039
her tail stuck on a rock.
Oh no, she got dragged under.

963
01:01:44,119 --> 01:01:47,760
Yeah did she know she would,
but they did kill her for taking the

964
01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:51,559
tail. I was about to say, like, maybe at that do they

965
01:01:51,559 --> 01:01:54,719
have just like mermaids floating at the
top like when your fished eyes. Yeah,

966
01:01:54,760 --> 01:01:58,039
it just floats at the top of
the top and then they flush it

967
01:01:58,079 --> 01:02:00,800
down a giant toilet. There's actually
that Dubai for that specific reasons, because

968
01:02:00,840 --> 01:02:04,320
they can build whatever they want,
that's true. It's it's amazing to see

969
01:02:04,360 --> 01:02:07,519
what they can do with unlimited money. Yeah, like just oh, we're

970
01:02:07,519 --> 01:02:12,079
gonna just like do a whole like
reef system, island system that looks like

971
01:02:12,079 --> 01:02:15,679
the world. I don't believe a
lot in this crazy world, but there's

972
01:02:15,679 --> 01:02:17,960
one thing I do believe, and
that's led to buy Cook and the Saudis.

973
01:02:19,320 --> 01:02:22,039
Yeah, I've turned full, like
a full one eight on the Saudis.

974
01:02:22,119 --> 01:02:24,159
Let him cook, Let them do
whatever they want. You you never

975
01:02:24,199 --> 01:02:28,960
were anti Saudi. I was for
a little bit because just because they're sucking

976
01:02:29,039 --> 01:02:31,519
up his favorite sport, they're fucking
golf. But well too late for that.

977
01:02:31,599 --> 01:02:35,639
They've consumed it now, so I've
accepted it. Yeah, I like

978
01:02:35,719 --> 01:02:37,239
I like all them. I like
all the rumors going around the like Texas

979
01:02:37,239 --> 01:02:40,679
A and m As being their nils
being funded by Saudi Ramco. Also just

980
01:02:40,719 --> 01:02:45,840
like the NBS is Rob's age yea. It just runs the thirty th It's

981
01:02:45,920 --> 01:02:50,599
like a big chunk of the Middle
East he runs the Middle East pretty much

982
01:02:51,199 --> 01:02:53,840
the most important person in that region, and I just like would put it

983
01:02:53,880 --> 01:02:58,000
in the running for like top twenty
most important people of the most I just

984
01:02:58,039 --> 01:03:00,920
like the dynamic that he has to
deal with him trying to be progressive quote

985
01:03:00,960 --> 01:03:04,880
unquote for you know, the Middle
East. He's like, can we just

986
01:03:04,920 --> 01:03:07,480
not act like it's the year twelve
hundred anymore? And he still has to

987
01:03:07,559 --> 01:03:10,719
kind of like appease the old school. Yeah. I just have a couple

988
01:03:10,719 --> 01:03:13,719
of beheadings old guard Yeah. Yeah, it's like, all right, we

989
01:03:13,760 --> 01:03:16,199
gotta we gotta kill some gays.
Yeah, but women can ride bikes now,

990
01:03:16,840 --> 01:03:21,639
and she gets happy unless they're menstruating. Right. Yeah, Well that's

991
01:03:21,679 --> 01:03:25,360
just so that's just like a fun
dynamic. Yeah yeah, super super kitchy,

992
01:03:25,480 --> 01:03:29,480
super fun, very cool. You
can make that into like a little

993
01:03:29,519 --> 01:03:32,760
sitcom. Yeah, totally. What
you guys learn today, I didn't really

994
01:03:32,840 --> 01:03:37,119
learn much. You already knew it. I mean, I'm entrenched in the

995
01:03:37,360 --> 01:03:40,639
Gasparilla of Lore, so God,
yeah, you're deep in it. You're

996
01:03:40,639 --> 01:03:44,920
you're big pirate guy. I didn't
realize the spell learn. Don't let history

997
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:47,559
get in the way of tourism.
No, never, never, ever,

998
01:03:49,320 --> 01:03:51,880
especially. I mean, we don't
have to in Florida, and you know

999
01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:53,480
what they should do. By the
way, real quick, sorry, in

1000
01:03:53,719 --> 01:03:57,599
Gettysburg, you know the Lord,
I tell you that I do this,

1001
01:03:57,760 --> 01:04:00,400
and I think I did it.
In the Ghost of Gettysburg, we did

1002
01:04:00,679 --> 01:04:05,719
just repeat it. How The lore
is that the twentieth Maine was lost on

1003
01:04:05,760 --> 01:04:10,440
their way to the battlefield, and
the ghost of George Washington showed up,

1004
01:04:10,679 --> 01:04:14,480
yes, to guide them, and
then the obviously the twentieth Maine made made

1005
01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:18,480
their amazing stand save the battle and
all that stuff. They need to just

1006
01:04:18,519 --> 01:04:24,079
pick a spot and that's where George's
ghost was. Yeah, that'd be sick.

1007
01:04:24,199 --> 01:04:26,599
Pick a spot. This is where
they saw it. Yeah, yeah,

1008
01:04:26,679 --> 01:04:30,880
yeah. All these caves and uh, these tourist attractions in the middle

1009
01:04:30,880 --> 01:04:35,199
of nowhere, all these random just
states like a West Virginia, Virginia.

1010
01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:41,119
You have all these like random areas
to go. H what is Virginia has

1011
01:04:41,159 --> 01:04:44,519
the caves? Right? Virginia and
West Virginia. Yeah, I've been just

1012
01:04:44,559 --> 01:04:47,119
make things up. What like Kentucky
does to Kentucky has a ton of caves.

1013
01:04:47,119 --> 01:04:50,920
Maybe that was where I went.
I went caves. Yeah, we

1014
01:04:50,920 --> 01:04:54,639
were coming back from DC. I
went into like a huge cave system.

1015
01:04:55,440 --> 01:04:59,000
Like this is where JFK hid after
he was allegedly assassinate. Yes, this

1016
01:04:59,039 --> 01:05:02,599
is where the underground tunnel from Dallas
Hospital to d C runs through. This

1017
01:05:02,639 --> 01:05:06,559
is where the Jewish Tunnel starts.
The Jewish Tunnel starts in Brooklyn and it

1018
01:05:06,719 --> 01:05:12,599
ends in Boca. And that's how
you come full circle. Yeah, Boker

1019
01:05:12,639 --> 01:05:15,440
ratone, not Poke Grande. That's
where the treasure's hitting. Just remember that,

1020
01:05:15,440 --> 01:05:18,360
all right, who's Hitler? You
saved me for not? Yes ending?

1021
01:05:18,480 --> 01:05:24,360
Yeah? Is it Jake today?
It's me? No. Hitler is

1022
01:05:25,360 --> 01:05:30,039
the fucking people that want to shit
on this alleged lore just because it's not

1023
01:05:30,079 --> 01:05:33,519
true. Yeah, I love it. I think Hitler. They're not like

1024
01:05:33,559 --> 01:05:40,360
the bad guys, but like the
people I hate the most from this episode

1025
01:05:40,400 --> 01:05:46,039
are the ones who somehow thought pirates
from two hundred years prior were invading Tampa

1026
01:05:46,079 --> 01:05:51,400
Bay. Oh no, yeah,
fire the cannons. Yeah, like I

1027
01:05:51,679 --> 01:05:57,440
fuck off. Yeah those people are
terrible. They were fucking launching cannon balls

1028
01:05:57,440 --> 01:06:00,440
into Raymond Jams. Dude, I've
never been to Raymond James Stadia. I've

1029
01:06:00,440 --> 01:06:02,480
never been on the pirate ship.
I've never been on a pirate ship.

1030
01:06:02,519 --> 01:06:05,159
I've never been to a program and
James quite a few times. My first

1031
01:06:05,199 --> 01:06:11,119
Raymond James game I actually went to
was a Penn State Tennessee Outback Bowl,

1032
01:06:11,239 --> 01:06:15,719
Great great Bowl in like two thousand's
I'm gonna say seven two thousand and eight.

1033
01:06:15,840 --> 01:06:16,960
You go for high school? I
went high school. That's fun.

1034
01:06:16,960 --> 01:06:21,000
Outback Bowl is supposed to be really
fun. What I've heard running around and

1035
01:06:21,039 --> 01:06:24,840
ship? Yeah, no, it's
like it's weird. But like that,

1036
01:06:25,320 --> 01:06:28,719
go to outback steakhouse sometimes. Yeah, I fucking love outback steakhouse. I

1037
01:06:28,719 --> 01:06:33,920
don't why get blue on onions?
Man? You know who actually met their

1038
01:06:33,960 --> 01:06:38,679
wife in an outback steakhouse? Ye? Dan Lannon, Dan Lanning? That

1039
01:06:38,920 --> 01:06:41,360
the church Oregon? Yeah, yeah, the chicks out. Was she serving?

1040
01:06:41,760 --> 01:06:44,280
I don't know. But he also
has a tattoo of her breast?

1041
01:06:44,559 --> 01:06:47,119
What on his body? He has
a tattoo of his wife's breast. Did

1042
01:06:47,159 --> 01:06:53,920
she lose it? No? He
just loves his woman's boops. That's one

1043
01:06:53,960 --> 01:06:59,119
of the most unnerving things I've ever
heard. That's a wild Does it make

1044
01:06:59,679 --> 01:07:05,000
different, Yes, it makes me. If I was an Alabama Booster and

1045
01:07:05,039 --> 01:07:09,360
I was thinking about Dan Lanning and
then heard that he had his wife's boob,

1046
01:07:09,639 --> 01:07:14,880
not even full set of bread a
boob, no boobs either way.

1047
01:07:14,920 --> 01:07:17,159
It's actually that's semantic. It doesn't
even matter. I would be like next,

1048
01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:20,280
next. And then he met her
in an outback steakhouse. I know

1049
01:07:20,400 --> 01:07:25,280
that's on brand that i'd be.
That's fine. That is fine by itself.

1050
01:07:25,559 --> 01:07:27,840
I mean when you combine it,
when you combine, there's one thing

1051
01:07:27,880 --> 01:07:30,639
here that you've lived off little debies, so that's the outback thing is fine.

1052
01:07:30,679 --> 01:07:34,800
There's some heavy lifting happening from one
particular part of those two things you

1053
01:07:34,800 --> 01:07:38,599
told me about that. I gotta
show you the tattoo. You really need

1054
01:07:38,639 --> 01:07:41,760
to. I'll look it up.
You really need to, because I'm very

1055
01:07:41,760 --> 01:07:46,079
curious about that. Dan Lanning is
Hitler. That's easily the weirdest thing.

1056
01:07:46,159 --> 01:07:49,320
You can. Please show me this
while we're on there. You got it,

1057
01:07:49,840 --> 01:07:54,880
let's see it. It's literally her
I mean it's also her face,

1058
01:07:54,880 --> 01:07:58,280
but her boobs are in it.
Oh, it's like cleavage. Yeah,

1059
01:07:58,440 --> 01:08:01,239
I thought it was like a full
set of hips. You know, it's

1060
01:08:01,239 --> 01:08:05,719
not. It's creepy either way.
It's weird, and she is I believe

1061
01:08:05,800 --> 01:08:11,119
Native American. Oh dude, this
whole thing. Yeah, this this Dan,

1062
01:08:11,239 --> 01:08:14,719
you undersold this. This is an
insane tattoo. He also has on

1063
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:17,840
her body, in her face,
every spot that he's coached. Yeah,

1064
01:08:17,920 --> 01:08:21,359
it's this is really really bizarre.
But yeah, her tits are out.

1065
01:08:21,399 --> 01:08:26,279
I like that the pit logo is
going into her titties like she's getting titty

1066
01:08:26,279 --> 01:08:30,039
fucked by the pit logo. It's
a it's a pit tit. Yeah,

1067
01:08:30,079 --> 01:08:34,000
it's an even crazier tattoo. I
undersold it. You really fucking did.

1068
01:08:33,680 --> 01:08:36,560
In the middle right now, she
has an organ throat tat. In the

1069
01:08:36,560 --> 01:08:39,800
middle of the throat tat is a
yellow ribbon. So is that like a

1070
01:08:39,840 --> 01:08:42,920
cancer thing in the middle of the
organ logo? So did he beat cancer?

1071
01:08:42,960 --> 01:08:45,199
Did someone beat cancer? What's a
yellow ribbon? Red as a sounds

1072
01:08:45,199 --> 01:08:50,600
like testicular cancer because uh yellow,
that's a good point. Wait, is

1073
01:08:50,680 --> 01:08:57,199
yellow ribbon for the troops? It's
probably for multiple things, but could be

1074
01:08:57,359 --> 01:09:03,079
he just do awareness? Okay,
and also ball cancer. That's the wristband.

1075
01:09:03,239 --> 01:09:05,640
Yeah, same thing. Yeah,
totally a ribbon. But yeah,

1076
01:09:05,720 --> 01:09:09,920
no, he she has the reason
he couldn't go to Alabama or leave organ

1077
01:09:10,039 --> 01:09:14,760
is because his tattoo of his wife
who is Native American, I think so

1078
01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:17,920
that yeah kind of plays. But
she has an organ throat tat. She

1079
01:09:17,960 --> 01:09:20,640
has a tattoo. Was he at
Bama at some point though, because yeah,

1080
01:09:20,680 --> 01:09:25,199
he was a he was with Ga
there, Okay, yeah he was.

1081
01:09:25,560 --> 01:09:28,000
He was there when Kirby was the
DC. Because she does have a

1082
01:09:28,079 --> 01:09:31,000
Bama tat face tat. Yeah,
so it's wild to me to see that

1083
01:09:31,079 --> 01:09:33,920
and then actually look at the woman
and be like, oh, you aren't

1084
01:09:33,920 --> 01:09:36,720
covered head to toe with tattoos.
No, that is weird. This is

1085
01:09:36,720 --> 01:09:41,439
the weirdest tattoo I've ever seen it. It's it's weirder than the phoenix on

1086
01:09:41,760 --> 01:09:45,359
Ben Affleck's pack. It's weirder than
any I forgot about that. It's not

1087
01:09:45,560 --> 01:09:50,239
it's not as weird as fucking that
giant dragon that Ben Affleck has or whatever.

1088
01:09:50,319 --> 01:09:53,960
It's weirder. I think Ben Afflex
wants fine, like that is a

1089
01:09:54,039 --> 01:09:56,680
dumb tattoo ben Affleck has, But
it's a phoenix. By the way,

1090
01:09:56,720 --> 01:10:01,560
what is written across her neck?
Who knows? Want to do an entire

1091
01:10:01,600 --> 01:10:06,279
episode on Dan Lennon's tattoo of his
wife. Is this something Titan? So

1092
01:10:06,720 --> 01:10:13,119
Caden Niles Titan? Is that their
kids. Their kids names are that yeah,

1093
01:10:15,600 --> 01:10:19,359
spelled it all awful to Caden is
c A D O N. Niles

1094
01:10:19,439 --> 01:10:24,239
is K and I out that's tough. There's a silent K in that kid's

1095
01:10:24,319 --> 01:10:28,520
name. I never want organ to
win a fucking game again. Yeah,

1096
01:10:28,560 --> 01:10:30,039
of course he met her it out
back. If their names are Kayden and

1097
01:10:30,159 --> 01:10:34,439
Niles with a K and titan,
she's Native American. None of those are

1098
01:10:34,520 --> 01:10:40,199
native None of those are Native American
names. Cayden, Come on, AnyWho,

1099
01:10:40,720 --> 01:10:44,000
now that we've had this revelation,
thank you for listening. We really

1100
01:10:44,000 --> 01:10:46,239
appreciate it. Go check out our
Patreon again, Patreon dot com, slash

1101
01:10:46,239 --> 01:10:53,640
softcore history like, subscribe, review, please review on Apple if you can

1102
01:10:54,439 --> 01:10:57,520
leave, like actually write something down. Is there something you wanted to read

1103
01:10:57,560 --> 01:10:59,600
Dan? Or are we gonna do
that next week? Reviews man, and

1104
01:10:59,640 --> 01:11:02,000
we can read something good reviews right
now? Yeah, let's do it.

1105
01:11:02,079 --> 01:11:05,800
Yeah, I gotta get off this
photo of Dan Lenon's tattoo. But a

1106
01:11:05,880 --> 01:11:11,039
great show. Love the show.
We love an episode diving into the history

1107
01:11:11,119 --> 01:11:15,359
of Big Game Safari. Maybe we
can do that. Another great show.

1108
01:11:15,399 --> 01:11:19,840
Review Absolute Calamity. You'll learn stuff
in a really dumb way. Somehow it's

1109
01:11:19,880 --> 01:11:26,920
perfect. I can't really explain it. Sick merch too. A review from

1110
01:11:26,960 --> 01:11:30,560
Maddie Ice twenty eight. Sup,
this isn't substock. Thanks for the five

1111
01:11:30,600 --> 01:11:34,399
stars, but uh, maybe you'll
get some substock content future. We'll see,

1112
01:11:34,399 --> 01:11:39,520
We'll see Patreon dot com sasta core
history was a month. Maybe you

1113
01:11:39,520 --> 01:11:45,479
get a Patreon episode? Oh my
god? Maybe maybe? Uh get Dan

1114
01:11:45,600 --> 01:11:49,600
drunk again? From Jared Text been
listening forever. Eleven out of ten recommend

1115
01:11:49,760 --> 01:11:54,920
best way to kind of learn history. You boys finally got me to leave

1116
01:11:54,960 --> 01:11:58,920
Spotify and actually come on here to
leave a review. Good work. Get

1117
01:11:59,000 --> 01:12:00,880
Dan on the booze. Yes,
I will not be drinking until we hit

1118
01:12:00,880 --> 01:12:04,880
a thousand reviews. We are at
nine nine. That's okay, serious fact,

1119
01:12:04,920 --> 01:12:08,800
I feel like this is if you
want Dan to drink, please leave

1120
01:12:08,840 --> 01:12:11,119
review. Please. I don't know
if anyone's gonna troll you and will dance

1121
01:12:11,479 --> 01:12:14,479
Dan with your initial drink. Be
you just getting bombed on the show.

1122
01:12:14,920 --> 01:12:18,760
Yeah, I'll get bombed good Hamer
in a free week. No, I'll

1123
01:12:18,760 --> 01:12:21,119
do it on a week. I
do it on your show. Yeah,

1124
01:12:21,119 --> 01:12:24,920
I think that is the way to
go. Okay, Well, well,

1125
01:12:24,920 --> 01:12:28,760
whenever it's whenever we hit a thousand
review. Yeah, so please give episode.

1126
01:12:29,640 --> 01:12:31,600
But yeah, that's it. That's
our time for Damner Jester, Rob

1127
01:12:31,600 --> 01:12:33,880
Fox. I'm Jake Goldman. You
just got saw served