Come on, come on, come on, mon everyone in come on,
come on, Yeah, you driving, come on, Kevin Good, Danny
Bayless, Mikes royd JJ Jackson here with us today, JJ, you taking
their calls producing the thing for us two one four eight one seven seven eight
seven one nine seven one, especially at eight o'clock where you will have a
chance to win MAVs preseason tickets. So a bunch of pairs of those in
the latest rendition of Ranger or Stranger, that'd be fun. Yeah, I'm
ready. Do you think you can do it? You have to just tell
us if this person is a ranger or not a Ranger's anger to baseball as
well as good concepts, it's not too complicated. Sometimes when I create games
and bits, I go, man, the rules. No one's ever going
to follow these, It doesn't matter. This is the opposite of that.
I want Fred driving to be able to understand what's going on. If your
name is Fred and you're driving, call us two on four. This concept
for your game sounds almost as simple as what's that sound? I was thinking
of what's that sound? Yesterday? I want to play what's that sound?
Yeah? Okay, do we need to do that? What you don't want
to do it. Let's just make sure we're safe and then do it safe
from what be eternal? Are there eternal bears somewhere? You can play it
with our friends to give away crap. Yeah, I'm not saying we just
sit in here and listen to sounds and guess what they are? A three
month old thing. It was negatively reviewed. What's that sound? Was?
Yeah? Okay? By who hours? Higher powers? You know what,
Let's just move on high powers? How powers? I like the curtain being
pulled, but I maybe we could redidate to pull it back too far?
It at six oh one. Maybe we could just review, like I don't
know, an old birds record or something. I'm sure that's that, didn't
see what a good plan either, Danny? Oh? Okay? Would I
agree with that? At the time? Was on your watch? Doesn't matter,
it was on your watch at the time, like just being real at
six oh two, after six o two three, at six oh three,
just now, okay, faking it from here on out, speaking of six
o'clock in three minutes for some reason last night when I was asleep, but
I kind of remember doing it at you know, one or two. I
don't even no idea. What time I woke up enough to open my phone
and move up my two primary alarms by three minutes strategy like I made them
three minutes later. I did five minutes while you were asleep in the middle
of night actactic a whiz hid we I didn't well, you did this in
your sleep? Yeah, that's crazy, Like something happened in my dream that
I thought, all right, good, I get to sleep in and I
moved the two main first alarms up or three minutes later? Do you feel
more resting? Yeah? I feel good. I feel pretty solid. You
get home and find one of your pillows is in the oven. What else
were you doing in your sleep? I don't know. Pretty weird though,
right very that's a fairly technical thing. Open change slide and then went to
bed like a probably took me four minutes to change actually lost a minute.
Yeah, speaking of pillows. I thought it was funny yesterday when Skin was
discussing the bad donuts that he had for breakfast, and he said were so
bad that he felt like he had eaten a cushion. What where do you
get bad donuts? How do you get bad donuts? I mean, are
they really that great? To begin with yes, yes, I'm not doing
this sugar debate from yesterday. Were you guys crapped on funnel cakes? Amazing?
Funnel cake is a reconfigured donut. So if you think that funnel cakes
sucked, then it comes from one source. Donut. I think skin lied.
He probably enjoyed it and he just didn't feel good about it, because
donut donuts are the number one food that you feel bad about eating. After
you eat them, you're like, because you just can't get it going.
Really, your energy is just a little down. Did you just mix in
weekend donuts? Ever? I haven't had a donut and good lord a year.
Really. Yeah. I don't actively pursue them. If they're around and
someone says, hey, would you like a donut, it's a coin toss
you. Yeah, uh, don't same as Danny. Don't actively pursue them,
but might catch myself. Oh I'm kind of hungry. You haven't eaten
anything yet. Let's just slide into donuts real quick, and I just appear
like anyone's in there. When I have donut, it seems like it's always
a gentle reminder of why I don't pursue them. Man, I don't know
probably for a year now. Every other weekend, I'd say sometimes every weekend,
Christina and I'll wake up and I'll make a run to Donut either Saturday
or Sunday morning. Not to be confused with their rival donuts. Oh yeah,
that's that's a big corporation. Donut is Mom and pop. But I
go in oak Cliffe. I go to Kim's Best in town. Oh some
Colachies or whatever. Clubeless Legs, clubs, club lost Necks. That's the
one with the meat in it. Is that Russian food? Uh No,
it's check. And then I'll get like four or five six donuts and we'll
sorted yeah for the two of us, will cornman sized donuts. Yeah,
and some of them lemon filled, their raspberry filled. Yeah, talk to
me and then like a sprinkle want like all assorted donuts, and then we'll
drink our coffee and eat donuts for a good hour. It's been the next
hour on the toilet. No, it's not a toilet food, by is
it? Ever? It's not a toilet food. I'm telling you. You
have a cup of coffee and a couple of those sugary ass donuts. You
know what's your next fifteen minutes is going to be like releasing the Kraken.
You only eat one donut a year, see datas get a good metabolism,
Mike, I know he does, and good hair, so it's like and
that's where it stops right there. I don't think his donut tasted like a
cushion. He said it felt like a I don't think okay tastes like one.
He hasn't tasted a cushion lately. Then Danny has everything good, but
he probably has duper D, A tiny duper D. That's the price you
had to pay for hair. Come on, duper shake that tiny D.
And I was looking up jokes this morning that the D joke was one of
them. I don't like. That's a good job you have. I don't
like D jokes, you know, especially when they're ones that try to champion
yourself as having a big one. I think that's so dumb. There's nothing
worse than the dude that walks around talking about D yes, my huge cannon.
Who does that? Like after after like maybe after high school, there's
always that one guy at the bar talking about their d. Well, not
like the first conversation, but oh yeah, well blah blah, blah.
You know, when they kind of get fired up, when they're they're prefrontal
frontal cortex is compromised by all the booze they've been drinking. They start making
bad decisions with conversation. That's what the show should be called. Bad decisions
with conversations. Stupid. It's kind of weird that that's, uh, we
don't talk about it, but you know that. But on some like primal
level, the size of your D is like important, you know. Okay,
So here's it's very bizarre. Kevin's going to break it down. Now,
someone's thought about this a lot. Well, okay, so I think
there's a number of things that people, because as humans, were probably pretty
dumb overall. Yes, and there are some things that are out of your
control that you would be made fun of for. I hated for even I'm
almost at times granted, there's not near the pain and suffering that have gone
with it. I have compared D measuring among humans to racism. Now you
gotta really go with me here. Okay, you can't just half ass this
one. You kind of gotta go with me a little bit here and use
your imagination, right, the idea that you would make fun of someone because
of their skin color or hate them because of their skin color is stupid.
We all agree with that, right, Yes, it's just stupid, okay,
and mean and a million other things. So that person that you're making
fun of was a a sperm DNA attached to an egg. I don't know
the worst complicate. The point is it's a baby that comes out. The
baby didn't not come out of a body and then fill out a foreman say
I want to be this, And it's the same thing with penis size.
You just have what you have. The idea that anyone would make fun of
someone for that, or hate on someone for that, or admire someone for
that really dumb. You were just a baby that got shot out into the
world and there's your penis. You get what you get, there's your penis.
So like, you know what I'm saying. And it's not just that.
It's like making fun of someone for being too tall or too short.
They couldn't choose it. It just happened. Yeah, No, I agree
with you, and I'm not talking about people that How often are we seeing
live d's in our day to day to be able to have the choice to
tease or not to tease. We're talking. I'm talking about the guy that
champions his own you know, well, I no, those are two different
things. And the third thing that I was sort of referencing is how I
think, due to societal pressures, you are sort of obsessed with your own
d right, whether it's big or small or whatever, not people making fun
of it, because again, that just roots back to those awful like five
years when we're all the worst humans in the world from what like twelve to
seventeen or whatever pretty much, and you've got a shower with dudes and stuff
like that, and that leads to a lot of that, and that stuff
is so ingrained. Whatever happens, whether you're made fun of for anything your
nose or your ears, or your birthmark or bad hair, whatever it is,
which all fall into that category of As Kevin explained biology as a DNA
stuck to a sperm's I can't wait till you have kids and they ask you
where babies come from. Well, there's a DNA stuck to a sperm and
an egg. I think I'll just make a far noise with my mouth fall
asleep. But wouldn't you agree, wouldn't you agree to a certain extent that
that age, Like you said, we're all idiots and we're trying to figure
stuff out. That when you start poking fun at other people that are different
than you or have different you know, characteristics, that that's just you're freaking
scared and insecure and you're trying to feel good about yourself, so you put
others down, you know. Yes, that's what kids do, a lot
of them, a lot of times. It's a defense mechanism, absolutely,
Yeah, for trying not to be the kid that's getting bullied. So let
me show, yeah, get out in front of it. Yeah. But
it's also how tall you are, Like same exact thing. I mean,
you could apply your height to not apply it to your d Yeah, but
the same level of like confidence that kind of goes with that. Yeah.
And it sucks that that's just a very genetic thing. You can't help it
at all. But then it compounds itself because if you are, how tall
are you six y three? The same as you? Yeah, And I'd
never appreciate that I'm tall. I appreciate that I'm not significantly short, I
guess, but I never think about that I'm taller. I never feel tall
or when I wear clothes or do anything with Christina or a date, you
know, like is this something that I'm stressing which is a luxury. But
then it goes back to you don't appreciate things you do have, and you
do yearn for the things you don't have. Yeah, like I haven't.
I don't think about being you know, I guess by metric tall for you
know, the average citizen, unless it's brought up to me by someone else,
and it's usually a typically a shorter woman, you know, like a
woman that's maybe five two or five three, and they'll look up at you
and god, you're tall. Like not really, I'm just kind of maybe
a little above average, I guess. But as a kid, when you're
six feet tall in the eighth grade and a clear head above everybody else,
that's awkward. And they throw you a basketball jersey with a zero on it,
and so get in their big fellow catch it draft. I'm the worst
basketball player. Catch a raft and throw it the draft. Stork. Stork
was a big one. One I always found weird was the girl who's tall
who gets ripped on. Yeah, like, if you're a tall dude,
that doesn't I mean, you probably get it for a few years because whatever.
But tall and then finger quote lanky girl really deals with it. No
most I mean because that starts, you know, when they burst ahead of
the guys. These girls do, and the guys probably start getting ooh,
make fun of her. I like trying to even the playing field a little
bit. But those formative years when you do get made fun of for something
that does, unfortunately stick with you. Hell, in some cases, your
whole life's terrible and that forms your own insecurities. It's terrible. Gig,
that's it's terrible. I say too much more. It's you can talk to
us if I was said. It's just like that whole thing of whatever happened
to you in elementary school, and everyone went through something, so it's not
like no one has any worse than anyone else, you know, I mean,
hell, yeah I had. We're talking about stuff like Danny didn't had
to figure out who his parents were. You know, as an adult,
that's crazy. You know, like that's that's wild. But like do you
like it don't even matters what age too. If it's fifth grade, maybe
you can handle a little bit better than when it happens to you in first
or second grade or whatever, But like when you're like you have dreams about
it as an adult and then you like think about it all the time.
Not why, Definitely, it's freaking terrible. It's all a relative to your
experience too in your age. But trauma is trauma, and you carry that
stuff with you and this is a whole different other thing. But like there
is, like supervision absolutely matters in elementary school, junior high. It is
weird that we kind of just kind of skimp out on paying teachers. I
got there. Some teachers out there probably are just kind of hiding and getting
through it. But I think most teachers are pretty awesome probably or at least
like doing the best they can. Sure, why do we like, why
is that the one where we're just kind of like, yeah, we're not
gonna pay you that much. And then you're gonna hear someone going they'll get
three months off. No, they don't get three months off. No,
they really don't. They teachers don't get three months off. That's that's been
a liar whole life that they get three months off. Maybe everything's set up
dumb. Yeah, we don't invest in ourselves thoroughly. No, that's funny.
You brought that up about you know, not knowing who my parents were
until I was an adult, and how little kids can weaponize things, you
know, whether it's that you look different than them, or you got a
diny d duoper or whatever it is, but they will go to great links
to to tear you down with whatever your shortcomings are. Because it went back
and forth one time, and I may have told the story to you guys.
One of my really good friends, his dad was our band director,
and he was an incredibly awkward guy and everybody in the school did an impression
of him. Everybody, let's hear it, and no, it's not relevant
right now, but he was just this really quirky, unusual dude and everybody
did their own version of him. And I remember doing one and his son
was one of my best friends, and I was doing this impression of his
dad and I didn't know that his son, my buddy, was around,
and he heard me doing it and he walked up to me and he goes,
at least I have a dad. Wow. That cut me in half
man that I'm like, dude, But you know what, it probably hurt
his feelings just as much to see one of his best friends mocking his father
and kids are pieces of crap. What I did was no better or worse
than what he did, and I probably got what I deserved in all honesty,
but that comment just was like, oh my god, that's brutal.
But I deserved it. I fully admit I deserved it. Like you were
shooting a little handgun and he dropped a nuke on your head. Well,
you know, but he had to neutralize the threat. You know what it
was. I do back. Yeah, I believe in the swing hard.
If you're gonna swing, absolutely, look man, And when it comes to
that a verbal competition, there was a I don't do it anymore, but
there was a time because I'm not a fighter, and I'm not I have
no interest in throwing punches nor receiving them. But if it comes to verbal
things, yeah, I look, I'm one of those countries that's armed with
nukes. So please don't bring your knife to an argument with me, because
you will have second thoughts about your girlfriend that night. Trust me back in
the day, and then he'll kill your parents and feed them to you at
a chili con carnival. In your defense, this kid's dad was a teacher
at your school. Correct, and like the grounds, especially back in the
day pre internet, we're not all that fertile where you need to make fun
of the stuff you all had in common. And making fun of a teacher
is a little different than making fun of just straight up someone's dad. But
I'm sure him. But coming from one of his best friends and we were
very close all through school, that felt probably like some it's one thing if
it's like a random dude you know, or somebody that you don't really know,
but that that's a real sense a betrayal. I would think, yeah,
coming from someone that you're supposed to be, you know, super close
with, so I get it. I accepted defeat and think I went home
and cried, oh no, all right, well we're all That was fun.
All d sizes are welcome. Yes, another edition of the Damage Downbeat,
because we had a little therapy session to start the show. To start
the day, they have more than the Rangers and Astros at seven. Okay,
guys on this most important thing in the world involves movie going etiquette.
That's coming up in fifteen because something's been happening in the world. But I
do want to update something that we began last week where we had a draft,
a Saturday Night Live draft. So until that season forty nine of SNL,
and we each drafted ten people that might be a host of musical guest,
and then we have a super pick, which is like the ultimate win
by and we actually had two super picks. And the season ends in May,
so we got a lot of time. But just know it's typically a
low scoring game. Yeah, and you're trying to guess who would be a
musical guest or a host. So the three of us drafted ten people or
artists or bands people, and last night they did announce who is hosting on
October twenty eight, It's Bad Bunny this week, and then we have an
announcement for October twenty We knew the first two weeks before they started the season,
correct, Okay, yeah, so we knew that before we drafted,
so obviously those were excluded. Yeah, those were off the table. Then
we Pete and I spice, and then who's this weekend? Bad Bunny?
Bad Bunny is to double dip. He would have been a two pointer candidate,
and one of us, in all likelihood would have picked Bad Bundy.
Yeah. Right, And that's the only ones we knew at the time.
So starting with week three, we are live. We are live, and
they announced week three, and they announced it last night. And here's the
trick, is me probably to keep it from you guys who is hosting and
being the musical guest. And when they announced, because I don't want you'all
to know, it's more fun when I break the news to you. Do
they still announce it via post it note in the middle of the previous week's
show. Yeah, I like that, But this time social media got the
buzz and they both posted online. And I will tell you that we have
a point. What I guarantee you it's this guy. Someone has a point,
Points McGee. It is points McGee. I knew it. No,
No, it's not, it's not or is it it is? It's points
McGee. First of all, can I tell you who the host is?
Yea, neither of us had him. Should we reset the picks to just
no? No, no, no, it's too many? It is too
many? Comedian Nate Bargatzi. Alright, I'm familiar with comedian Nate Bargotzi.
I've is that the dude Jake loves He's uh, I don't know if Jake
loves him or not. But he's a dude from tennis see kind of a
slow delivery, doesn't really cuss or anything. He's like edgy, but he's
very funny. He's on TikTok. Yeah, he's huge on TikTok. Big
golf fan too. Yeah. Oh JJ, we creak up my audio here
because I won't play my favorite Nate Bargatzi bitch real quick, let's go.
It involves snakes. I went to Honduras because I was at the airport and
the guy was like, I was like, I'm going hon Duras. He
was like what city? And I was like, I'm just learnning right now.
That's not the name of the city. So he's like, you gotta
be careful. He's like, you gotta really look out for snakes. There's
a lot of venomous snakes here. So when you walk around, just keep
an eye out. Now, if you can get bit by a snake,
the best thing to do is then just go ahead and catch the snake and
bring it so then we know, like, what's snake be here. I
was like, dude, I'm pretty positive that's like exactly what you're not supposed
to Like, I've never seen that ever on animal planets, like somebody gets
a bit and then they got to be like, now I gotta get it.
I've never called a snake in my life. And then when I got
bit to the first time I got to get it together and catch a snake,
it was like, it's not going to go good man, as if
he's only king biting me, that's all that's going to happen. And he
was like, it doesn't matter. You're like you've already been bit And I
was like, do you even know what a snake is? It completely matters.
There's a huge difference between one bike and probably thirty bikes. That's where
we're going to be at if I try to catch a snake. Who told
you this is snake? Is that? Who told you? It's like the
term I gotta get it together, Yeah, the first time in my life,
and now I have to know I've got to pull it together. Yeah.
He talks about his family a lot too. It's pretty good. Yeah,
yeah, he's pretty good. Cool. Yeah, but he's like,
no weird. He's done a good job of like staying away from being like
in the boat of gaff again and being like the dad comedian you know,
because uh, he's he gets there's a funny story. I saw him one
time I won the late night shows and he gets picture made with Tiger,
but it's really just a picture of Tiger, and he's just kind off to
the side, kind of looking. He's like, I got it framed.
He's looking off to the side awkwardly. But yeah, he's He's funny.
So there's your host. None of us had Nate Bargazzi hosting though. I've
never heard of him until just now. But the musical guest with him,
I'm looking him. He got him A point? Is the Foo Fighters?
Me and Danny Bayless in the eighth No, in the ninth round of the
Foo Fighters. They're my deck. Danny's up to one point. Well,
fighters, Hey, look at you. I got a point? A point?
How does it feel a real point? I'm like a real boy.
Now what do we bet on that? Danny? One? Uh? This
is the the phone case for a week. Uh bit and one step further
away from having a foot stuck to my ear the foot. Good job,
Danny, good job. You get the Foo Fighters? Uh? You know,
I'd make a speech, but we're out of time. Have you had
one of the worst teams? I think oh oh ouch, you get the
food fight. How many points wins this thing? Usually I think three.
I'll get you there, yeah win, yeah, all right? And also
the super pick. You had two super picks. I had that Dolly Parton
and Will Ferrell like, if you get a super pick, you win,
right, Mike took the rock and John Cena yeah, and then Millie Alcock
and uh Stergel Simpson for you dank god, what a mess? I kept
it inside the squared circle. He usually did the rock and John Cena.
Why there? It is the first point testing in the twenty four SNL bet
for donut later to celebrate my victory and signing some autographs please this weekend,
guys at seven thirty you have an update on the Oklahoma City Python. What
yeh? Making of snakes? Seven thirty, we'll have that for you in
the scuttle Butt, Oh my God, Rangers Astros at seven and more and
coming up next though, should you be doing this at the movie theater next
to ninety seven? Won the Freak