This is not don't expect to be your night, Danny. It's time to
stray from the to take, because you'll find no be survived. Side courst
Hey, hey, Ian Devian's Junior Adventures and Friends. Welcome back to another
side quest the episode between the episodes. Uh, I'm your host, MK
Gibson. Or give you to my friends and fuck you to my enemies.
Who do I have with me today? John, go and introduce yourself to
fuck you? Oh wait, no, Hi, I'm John Hartness. I
am back for the night. Been on the shelf for a little bit.
We'll go back there once we're done. But I want to talk shit about
trailers and remakes, so I'm here for this. I do a bunch of
stuff. I publish a bunch of people. I write a bunch of things.
But most important for you nerds, is my new collection Not Safe for
Work. The Heartness Shingles collection is available right now in hardcover and in paperback.
You can get the individual I Think I'm milliona a new book too,
and you can get the individuals all on audible, So if you want to
experience the full Heartness Shingling you can do so. Also, the new Quincy
Harker book Lost is available for purchase now. So yeah, I've released two
books on my highest I'm off the shelf man plug. That man's a plug
machine. Jesus, that's awesome. You congratulate, that's what she said.
Steve. Hi there, I'm Steve Webell, and I have wrote books such
as the Brandon Fine Master books, which you can check out if you like
the character Brandon fire Master. If you don't check them out anyway, I
always appreciate the attention. Freaking fuck are you Gibby Mike MK Gibson. I
actually did to quiz Steve the other day. I was like, even know
what them my first? You're give me you had to think about it for
a minute. No. I write such books as the Shadow Master series,
the Techno Answer Series, and Hammer Witches and a few others. Uh,
check them out. Everything's available on Kindle a limited most are on audible.
I'm trying to get some more out there, but trying to find a new
narrator is kind of a pain in the butt at the moment. But anyway,
that's not what we're here for. We're here to talk about. It's
It's March movie madness. Basically, there are a lot of new trailers,
There are a lot of new shows. There are a lot of new geek
projects that are coming out, and uh, you know, you can't be
a nerd in the nervous sphere and not be tangentially aware of a few of
these projects. And being nerds, we're also immediately giving sight up because Bevan's
not here. He's other than dungeons and dragons. I think he's just nerd
adjacent. So I can't peg it down. No, No, he's a
giant nerd. He's a giant nut just in very specific bubbles, and he
has zero interest anything outside of those bubbles. Yeah, obsessed about free movies.
Yeah, nothing made before, nothing made after nineteen eighty nine. I
know. So I've joined over a few as movie nights and there are they
are classics. But like I said, anything some of these flicks. Being
nerds, you immediately like, are these shows you like? Love it or
hate it? Or you have an opinion based on nothing other than like the
three minutes that you watch. So we're gonna watch a couple of these trailers.
We'll talk over them, give our opinions and our thoughts. So,
gentlemen, what would you like to start with first. Would like to see
Three Body Problem, the New Crow, the Fallout trailer, or the new
Star Wars act late. Let's do. Let's structure it so that we do
the new stuff first and then we move into the remakes, because that'll give
Steve and I time to get further into our adult beverages. My list of
grievances us better equipped to completely shit talk Roadhouse and the Crow. Oh yeah,
well, I'll find I'll find Roadhouse too. If we want Three Body
Problem. I think is the is one that's not a remake. It's obviously
it's an adaptation of a book series, but it is not a remake or
another existing IP property that has been global So we'll start with that one first.
So can either of you pronounce the name of the author of the trilogy,
because I am completely incapable, not without making somebody angry. I imagine
I don't know the gentleman that wrote the series, so I and I am
a Southern white boy, so I am completely incapable of pronounce I would have
to look it up. But let's still can't pronounce Rake's name. I'm not
trying this. Guatemala, Ricky Guatemala. We established this, So, oh,
all right, can you all hear or is it just be thank here?
I can't hear shit, so I kind of here right now, you
can I cannot. I cannot hear it. But I've also watched the trailer.
You can see the subtitles. Yes, oh, this is a different
trailer than the one I watched. All right, so fans, what we
have is a obviously a Netflix show, and it's describing a lot of old
technologies from the seventies and the modern. When I first had the free body
problem, I thought, this is going to have a lot more sex fuel
content. All Right, I'm gonna be very honest and pause right there.
I understand, Like, my first my first possible grievance is is from the
creators of the showrunners of Game of three Rones, and I immediately reached out
to John when he mentioned this to me, I'm like, is this I
don't know the series. I just realized that it was a book series.
Is it done or we're gonna have that adaptation problem where it was who as
they run out of source material, it's just gonna be a shit show and
shooting from the hip. Yeah, there are two types of great writers.
People who do character dialogue and memorable moments really well, and people who can
land the fucking plot and the came of thrones. Guys were definitely not in
that second charactery. I read a lot of the Game front that stuff like
dialogue between the Hound and I are in the TV show was much bad in
the book. Battle of the Best is in the book could be something that
was casually referenced by someone in the TV show fucking brilliant. But I will
as soon as that guy Thrope was gone, they were fun. I will
tell you what they're though, sir. I have a screenshot somewhere the Battle
of the Bastards is when things was that was the turn for the worst.
And I say this because there is literally a moment where John's plot armor crets
and like a shield of arrows, he's on the ground, arrows land around
his body, not one hits him, and you can see his physical plot
armor on screen. And you call it. I call it rule of cool.
Oh sure, sure. It was from that moment forward that when things
The beginning of the series is the characters drove the plot. The characters did
something. There was an action and a reaction to over and over and over
that drove the plot from the Battle of the Bastards forward. It was the
plot happened, and the characters followed along spouting catchphrases. Yeah, you're right,
it was the beginning of the end. But in terms of like a
bowel sequence lostro phobic, it looked and stumped into the mudship that was it
looked very cool, and sometimes I just want something and looks cool. Fair
enough. One thing that I wish people would understand is that from the creators
of Game of Thrones is not a selling point for everyone, right, Yeah,
in fact, it still carries a bad taste in the mouth. Yes,
Now that being said, the three body problem is part of a is
part of a completed trilogy of books. So they cannot run out of guide
rope. They can just hang themselves with it. I have not read the
book, and I keep meaning to you because I hear great things. But
I understand this is really high concept sci fi that I understand the same thing.
And that's why I haven't read it, because I honestly don't think I'm
smart enough to understand it. I barely understand. It's never been a problem
for me. John, not just roll alone. I barely understand the concept
of the three body problem, which is a scientific it's a mathematical physics thing.
Yeah, not a sex thing. No, it is not a sex
thing. It has to do with the fact that when you've got three things
moving in space, you can't ever really calculate where prap is. So kind
of a sex thing, you maybe either need to get laid more or less,
my friend, I'm not sure which, but somewhere in between one of
those things. This is the kind of This is the kind of show that
it looks very heavy, it looks very cerebral, It looks very time traveling.
It looks very like the past and the present and the future all are
influencing one another at the same time. And I like those kind of weird
What was the name of that show that was on Hulu, the guy from
Parks and Wrecked the Beard and I can't amazing actor and I can't think of
his name. He played this weird guy who's trying to basically look back through
time and he was basically helping to create a stable time machine to observe the
past. And it was an amazing show and I cannot think of a name
ofood. It was brilliant. It has this kind of vibe to it.
There's a little of this. I feel like a title sellout because we've been
absolutely spoiled with great sci fi shows recent yeah, and nobody's fucking watching them.
I think I think that this will run into a little bit of the
same problem Steve, because I agree that it does seem very heavy, it
seems very smart, and I don't think there's going to be enough dick jokes
and explosions for it to lock in a ton of viewers. I feel bad
because this is the kind of shit I'm always saying we need more of,
and it needs a proper budget, buying it a proper time, proper care.
They keep doing it, but I'm just saying, God, sorry,
I'm playing a fucking legend of Zelda game boy game from nineteen ninety eight.
Sorry, guys, Yeah, I mean I'm I'm looking at it and it's
beautiful. It looks really smart. It looks like the kind of thing I
really want to get into, and I will almost certainly never watch it.
It reminds me of the books that you keep on your shelf, that they
only exist so that when friends come over you look smart. I like Oh,
that's great. That's an amazing book. Have you read it? No,
it looks good. Problem more like the nobody problem, because nobody's gonna
watch it. It's like that nut. I mean, honestly, if you
write enough books and your name is just on the spine of a lot of
books in your house, then you look smart as long as none of the
people who come visit you've ever read the shit you write. That's what I'm
always going for. Yeah, exactly. Or I'm just a raging narcissist and
a little bit of both. I have. I take. I get a
lot of like my book covers put on that canvas print and I have in
my office. And sometimes people like someone comes by like, I mean,
you write all these I'm like, guess, and you put them on your
walls, get on my house. So yeah, exactly, yeah, right
there with you, babe. Right mind me. Now, I think the
I think three body problem. I'll check it out. I'm gonna give it
at least at least one episode's worth of a look. It looks like it
could be really smart. It feel what was that Jodie Foster sci fick from
way back when contact? Yeah, it looks a little like that, or
maybe like Arrival. Okay, see, I did not like The Arrival at
the time. I think I need to go back and rewatch it with more
adult eyes because of the time it was just wow. The timey whimy stuff
always frustrates me because it's every time travel almost always ruins every movie, with
the exception of Back to the Future. It's like it almost always ruins every
franchise, and it frustrates me because no one can agree on it. No
one has got the same concept of time travel, and it just the nerve
stuff starts breaking down. Yeah, if you spend too long on any one
concept of time travel, it quickly becomes a cage. I think, a
very loose, spaghettified cage. But I'm interested in this. I've heard so
much about it, and somebody's done me the favor of condensing it into a
watchable format that I'm not going to fall asleep while I'm trying to do it.
No guarantees is uhlu shs in. If I'm not okay, I might
be mistaken. Okay, you know if you are mistaken. Let he tried,
he did his best. Okay, seriously, somebody like somebody and somebody
who's following this podcast, Kick my ass in the comments, make sure I
watch this. We really should be watching ship like this. I still have.
I still have at least a season and a half of the expanse to
catch up on. But exactly, I haven't even done that. And every
time there's something new on, unless it's popcorn. And I hate to say
this about myself. When something's popcorn, I can have it on the background.
I can be doing something else at the same time when something's new and
heady and I have to stop everything I'm doing. My ad the ad D
won't let me. I it's I want to sit down, But like having
to sit still and focus is like it's like I was on a chalkboard these
days, like the concept of like now, if it's really good, i'll
close a lot too and bay attention. But getting myself into the chair,
getting myself sat down exactly, now, this might work better for me because
it's a series, not a movie, because I find that about a forty
two to fifty minute chunk is where my is where I can focus, so
I can binge episode after episode of a TV show, whereas movies are harder
because it's a longer time. It's a longer passive experience, but you've got
your kind of locked in and I h you know, it's that locked in
feeling I don't like. So moving on from that, my problem with these
things is at some point sharing it, I'm like, Nah, this is
really good, and then I think, I look at my phone. I
think I can make a completely fucking stupid joke about it on social media.
It derails the whole experience. I need to put my phone in another room,
realize I'm not as funny as I think I am, and just want
to fucking check it. I mean, look, will be happy to tell
you that you're not as funny as you. I mean, do it on
the regular. I mean, I've to you it's your accident alone. Is
that's the anything keeping me a fight? People are saying I'm being funny.
I'm not. I'm just English, all right. So I'm going to play
the crowd trailer next. Now, is anybody else like me that they grew
up with the crow? Did they grew up an era? And they they
should? Oh? Oh my god. Yeah, I watched a crw or
fort is brilliant. Try to watch you have a Crow? Movies not so
much tried to read the comic books a completely different fucking experience the original comic,
the original comic. I still have my trade paperback from back in the
day. It is dog eared as bookmarked. It has been handled the shipping
back and it is beautiful. It is poetic. It is an art piece
as long as the movie as well as Tongue is amazing story. Nothing like
the movie, No no, But the original Brandon Lee movie had its own
Obviously, it has a cult following it unfortunately followed the Iron Death, and
you know, it kept the hot topic afloat for twenty years. So exactly,
this is the thing about that movie what people don't realize, Like guy
coming back from the dead and getting revenge, It's a really fucking played out
trope. It happened all the fucking time in much less popular movies. But
the thing that kept that movie so pertinent is it was a vibe that no
one was really exploring at the time. I remember talking to a golf about
it, like a proper goff PVC and big black lipstick, and she was
like, oh, you know, I saw the crow, but I'd already
seen the matrix, so I didn't really see the point of it, and
I was like, you're right, that was the next big golf vibe.
Yeah, kind of if you weren't there at a time, tiny black sunglasses,
trench coats. Yeah, exactly. It's like it was the entire point
of that movie was the golf Vibe. I owned all of the individual issues
of The Crow. Then I sold off those when I heard they were making
a movie and made a pile of money off of it. Got a trade
paperback read it. So yeah, right, giant, I'm in a giant
horror for a long time, stude. I've read some of the comics that
came after, like the one in the wild West, one with the Female
Crow, the one of the Naive American Crow, the one that was I
love these well. James of Barr contributed to several of them, you know,
because it's like, you know, hey, he made more extra money
because he made this thing back in nineteen eighte and it did nothing. And
then so thirteen years later someone comes along and goes, hey, we want
to turn this into a property, and all of a sudden, like they're
reprinting all his shit again. And you know, I think that's the dream
of any writers to like make as much money as humanly possible, and people
would preciz work big fistfuls of cash going exactly, I want to fuck me
money exactly. You know it's better than fuck you money. And O Barr
is still getting paid on that book today. I mean he's still doing convention
appearances and all of that, and good for him. Well, and it's
also it's one of those art. It's one of those things. I was
born of tragedy. If you know the backstory, you know, you know
how like his wife was killed by a drunk driver and he took this,
this this personal tragedy and put it into this this he had to put his
with the versus somewhere and you know, it created something that was a phenomenon.
So when I play this trailer, this new remake, I'm going to
be very upfront, like I'm not going to try to color your opinion,
but it is I hate when people say blank for a modern audience or blank
for adults. It frustrates me because you're not trying to make something time less,
You're trying to make something time full. And I will also say this,
as you watch this trailer, obviously you can't hear the sound unless you
find it at the same time sync up. But just watching the action scenes,
it's Deadpool without the jokes or charisma and you'll see what I'm talking about.
All right, Yeah, I've watched the trailer end. I have opinions.
Okay, we will at any point you want to say pause and just
tell me to pause and I we will stop this as it's going along.
There's a crow. Oh look, it's Dark City with Kevin Bacon. All
right, first point, how much fucking daylight do you want in your Chrome
movie? I want zero fucking daylight in my Chrome ma. Well, now,
for what I understand these in this story, they're both recovering addicts.
That's what's been told about the story. So wow, and rehab adds is
sexy. Yeah, yeah, I mean that was the first thing I thought
about Train Spotting was, oh my god, these people are fantastically hot.
God, these are so hot. I will say that on This trailer is
a banger. It's the post Malone and Ozzie Osbourne mashup that is really good.
Yeah, I'm not going to fall The soundtrack, Well, well i
am, because the one from the nineties had that killer soundtrack of an era,
so I burned the grooves off my CD, off the Cris soundtrack from
Yeah where well there are ways from that now and this is they're still doing
something cool when that's okay? Yeah it was, and it was Danny Elfman
doing the score. Was yeah, the instrumental stuff, and I like a
bit of ongoing bongo. Now here's I like this actor. He's the Scars
guard. That's he's one of the Scot's gods. You see gets shot,
does the thing classic crow. But you're gonna notice some of these action scenes,
whether the car or is over the shoulder shooting, it's just deadpool belly
full of bricks there, typical Scott's god from the Scars God Clone Farm wherever
they growed him. Yes, he's a bit too brutal, that's the thing
he's not now. Also, I love the actor Dandy Houston, but he's
such a bad not bad, bad character. It's a bad guy character actor
that I see him. He almost pulls me out of the movie these days
our TV show. Yeah, that that guy can become too much of that
guy, that's true. I don't guess the making point was he put point
in a sod in a mirror, eh, because again, he definitely was
that's a bit too emo, really, and what's with the why the eyeliner?
And I should not say that's too emo in a fucking Crow movie.
I really shouldn't. It shouldn't be possible. And here we are. Yeah.
I don't mind this. Yeah, I know what you're saying about.
This is Deadpool without the jokes of charisma. I don't mind this kind of
aggressive taking a bullet, given a bullet. Okay, so here's my tam.
I think an executive took a huge rip of coke. I got this
great idea. We set the cameras, executive we have. We have the
same cameras and locations from John Wick. Right, fantastic. We take Deadpool
film it like John Wick, no jokes the Crow. Oh this is this
is gonna sell. It's just completely lacking. It's got a style, but
it hasn't got a style of a Crow. This is what I don't like
about remakes. I don't mind continuations. I don't mind we're going to pick
this up thirty years later and do something different. They're saying, this is
a remake of the Crow. You can't do that and entirely miss the point
of that movie because it was its era and it was its vibe. And
if you're stacking those two things off, you don't have the Crow. You
just have a the nineties. It used the music of the era because that's
what it was going around. I don't think they were trying to say,
we're going to make a nineties time capsule. That's not what their goal was
to do. They were trying to make a story that was they just made
it in the nineties. This one feels like it's very much we're going to
make our guy a SoundCloud wrapper. He's going to look like post Malone.
He's going to you know, and it's I get the Jaredito joker. Look,
you know that that ha ha ha tattoo. You know. Uh.
But the thing is, I will see this. The Crow was a nineties
time capsule, and if you're going to try and remake it without it being
a nine time, you're not going to remake it. You're just making it.
May as well just be a different fucking movie. Yeah. I think
the thing that I like the least is that it is so fucking obviously built
to create a franchise. Oh yeah, It's so obviously built of putting on
the mantle of the crow. A crow carries them. Sometimes you're too fucked
up to die, and then you come back. And while I didn't watch
any of the follow ups to the original Crow because I didn't care, I
think that we would have been better served to just make a new ish story
and call it the Crow. Don't make it be Eric Draven's story. Yeah,
I did watch all all three sequels because I watched some of the TV
series the show Guy Blessed, because it's like, you know, ever since
Only the Strong, I've been in the obviously Iron Chef. You know,
mister Tacosta has Mark da Costas is just he's a fantastic guy, and I
love everything he's in. I love Only the Strong exactly, such a watch
it right now movie pot in the way we'll do it, Like, you
know, I and I have a Coppo era playlist that I use when I'm
writing fight scenes. Nice I Ady Gouarter from tecond Yes, I grew up
watching Only the Strong. Like there's that one picture of me floating around doing
a one arm handstand. It's because I watched that movie so damn much.
I was a highly into martial large at the time. I'm going to teach
myself to do this shit. I hurt myself a lot, but eventually pulled
off that handstand long enough to take a picture and that's it. You know.
Yeah, there's a phoo with me go around there in a one armed
handstand, but that was just me falling over in a marsh pit. There's
one of me doing a one armed handstand, but it involved a lot of
photoshop and three people holding various attends. This was let me see, this
was into that position thirty years ago and at least sixty pounds ago. So
yeah, well mine was last week. It's photoshop, that's right, Yeah,
do you think? Uh? But so yeah, I'm going to see
the movie. But Withers, I can safely say I haven't been talking to
some female acquaintances of mine that they are of the opinion that if this scarsguard
wants to come back from the dead and beat him up, it's very welcome
to So I think it's got that come for Well, he's here, I'm
not gonna take away like for eye candy. He's got it gone. He's
got a thrust bucket. You know, he's lean but ripped the same time.
So yeah, there's already another Scarsguard action movie coming out, Boy Kills
World, and I definitely want to see her same actor in a better looking
movie. Yes, now, is that like the Winnie the Pooh, Blood
and Honey version of Boy Meets World? Is Topanga just gonna go fucking ape
shit on the universe? I hope so. But then they gave us something
better. This is something that's seventeen year old me who was getting into filmmaking.
If somebody said, here's an ungodly amount of money that we're responsibly kind
of give to you to make a movie, I would have said, I
want to make Boy Kills World, which looks fucking ridiculous, and I can't
wait for it. All right, so me roll that beautiful bean footage,
show me the boy working on doing it. I'm doing it right now,
sir, because I seen this trailer, you know. Okay, So do
you have a second screen so you can actually pull it up and hear the
sound, because the best part of the trailer is the actor does it is
he's got an internal monologue because he can't speak, and it's the guy does
the voice of archer h John Benjamin is his internal monologue. So yeah,
like I so if you want, I will send you the link that I'm
using the wor'll sync up. Yeah, just like it at the movies experience
that you can get on Office and Dragons at the movies. One second plug
there. So this is the same scars Guard then, because I can't tell
him a pat Yeah, that is it is Bill scars Guard. That kind
of like they're like baldwins, you get expensive. He's the baby of the
group, the old Scott's god ah, the the one that's a hellacious actor.
Yeah, now he's great, but they're all from the same clone batch.
The very beginning of the trailer, he does this man own a shirt?
Why would you, Hey, dude, if I had abs like that,
I would I would not. I mean, you do have abs like
that. They're just like that, I turn up a funeral of ouse.
Yet I would be at the same I would bet the food lion in the
produce section, just like, oh they need these carrots, all right?
Uh? Three ready? Three two one playing. We should definitely interrupt this
because I'm not gonna want to interrupt this because it's brilliant. So it's game
show futuristic murder. So this like Running Man sort of that's a but it's
hosted by Cereal mascots. Now. I think he's also wearing the Michael Jackson
bad jacket vest without the sleeves, which is amazing. I did like that
jacket. Anytime you get Famka Jansen back on screen, I'm happy to see
that it's voiced by h John Benjamin of Archer Fame. That's exactly what I
did. I'm pretty sure I saw that same training montage move. It'sert crazy
action producer, Sam Raymie. That's all you need to know. That's all
I need to know. Right If it's not a Bruce Campbell cameo in this,
there's gonna come a day where we're gonna lose Bruce Campbell and we're all
gonna be sad. We need to make the most of him while he's still
here. I mean, we've already lost Sam Raimi's car because they blew that
up, which is still very sad to me. If you enjoyed that,
Steve, please tell me you've seen guns of Kimbo. Oh yeah, of
course. Yeah. Daniel Radcliffe, John, if you like what you're seeing
on screen right now, this kind of insanity. Uh so, Daniel,
it's in a similar vein Daniel Radcliffe gets kidnapped by an underground black internet murder
television show organization, gets two guns bolted into his hands and basically says survive
for the next four eight hours and that's it. And that's the crazy.
It's kind of like what you're seeing now, this insanity, but with Harry
Potter running around trying to take a piss with two guns in his hands,
you know it is. It's a fucked up fun movie. I'm here for
it, and I think Daniel Radcliff's an underrated actor, so oh a thousand
percent. I really actually this looks like somebody took guns at Kimbo and fucked
Crank and Crank two and then Sam Remi raised a child, which is I
mean, there's a lot in that trailate I think is kind of like at
this point, kind of played out the tropes but works perfectly. Yeah,
the whole, the whole music behind it, HM, the light happy music
a lot, but for a lot more disappointing. Yeah, this did it
really well. I'm in I was kind of I was over that, and
then I saw this trailer for Oh that's the same but different. Give fans
something they already know with a twist on it, and just there is a
fresh coat of paint onto this kind of insanity and I'm in for it because
just there's just enough little tweaks, just a little differences that bring and I'm
on board, which brings me to the next one that I'm super excited for,
which is the Fallout trailer. Dude, right put in the slack as
well. Oh no, I've seen the Fallout trailer. I don't know.
Yeah, and I've never played the game. Well nice, there's now Fallout
Magic cards to the challenge. I think that the Fallout show is going to
have because since the Magic series, since the Magic Decks released two weeks ago,
I've been playing a lot of Fallout Magic the Gathering and I restarted playing
Fallout four. Holy shit, which Fallout do you pick? Fallout four or
New Vegas? I think is where you like, if you are someone who
has never played, because you can't going backwards with some of the old Yankee
games is kind of it's kitchen. But unless you know it, you don't.
Oh yeah, no, that's what I mean. For the for the
show, which Fallout are you making? It's kind of like it's kind of
how I feel about the Borderlands trailer as well. You you just have to
go with the theme. There is a poke nuclear war post apocalypse and there
are vault dwellers. That's all you really need to know to have a wild
West mutant insanity game. Yes, and I was watching. I had didn't
know anything about the Fallout show, and I watched the trailer and I'm watching
it and I'm watching it and I'm watching it, and then I was like,
holy shit, that's Walton fucking Coggins. Walton Goggins. Yes, you
love them, Walter Doggins. Dude, I I I've rewatched Justify, just
see more Walton Goggins. So yeah, I mean, look, I watched
the Book of Boba Fett just for space Raylan. Is that all suffer through
the Shield again? Because I love him and that as well. Yeah,
I mean he's a national fucking treasure. I love that actor. Misty refers
to him as her boyfriend. Okay, okay, they've never met, and
her husband does not mind that Walton Goggins is her boyfriend. Well, I
think if I think if anything like that, you're a safe bet with that
one. It's not chanting Tatum, it's not thor it's it's Walton Goggins,
who in his own interview says, my teeth and my forehead get into the
room before I do. So, you know, he is a humble man
about his appearances and I appreciate that. And he's also a phenomenal actor.
Oh my god, he's a brilliant actor, and that that voice and cadence
comes through even through the recoculous ghoul makeup they've got him in. So yeah,
it took me. It took me a while to realize that was him
as well, because I obviously see him talking. But when I realized,
oh my god, he's the devil guy, fucking fantastic, all right playing
it. But yeah, I've played four and New Vegas. I haven't played
seventy six or any of the old ones. I played a couple of the
old ones back in the day, but there was when they return base that
didn't do it for me. You know, once it was more open world
exploration style, I got more to that. Yeah, because a lot of
this early bits of the trailer feels like it's older game. Well, I
like that old tech. I like the c r T TV, that old
Uh it's what was a BioShock. It gives me that those BioShock feels from
those games back in the day. I'm hearing the phrase cartridge futurism a lot
in the new Alien movie. They're going back to how the original Alien movies
looked, where everything's ship tech by our standards. Now, Well, I
prefer like Star Wars tech over Star Trek tech. I don't like clean eye
pads. I want click clack buttons. I want the floor of an alien
like. I want a great metal floor that clank clank clank when you walk
on it, exactly hanging down statickycomb screen. I like dirty tech cartridge futurism
apparently, and that's what it's called. I'm here for. Well, sure,
I like dirty tech. Well, that just sounds like something you're going
to put your dickcare. And there's the hero. Yes, I don't know
who the hell she is whatever, but that actress she is the voice of
Jinks in Arcane, and she is one of the leads in the show Yellow
Jackets. If you have not watched that show, it's amazing. It's freaking
amazing. Isn't that like teenage girl Lord of the Flies? Yes, but
it takes place back in the nineties and in the modern for those who have
escaped, and there are counselaving flashbacks to what happened to them while they were
trapped in the mountains. Okay, so and it is ooh they got dog
meat. I love you to say of what happens to them when they were
trapped in the nineties, they basically their plane went down in the mountains and
was there something supernatural? Did they have to resort to cannibalism? What all
happened? That is such a good line though, right there. God,
that is a very small drop and a very large bucket of drop. Like,
I just got to give just the cinematography stylings alone, the set design,
the production design, the music. It just everything is a damn screenshot.
And if you'll really good Power Armor too, Like I can't wait to
go to a con and see people having like made that either that shall be
Power Armor at Dragon Con this year. Oh, I guarantee it. Yeah.
Like I say, I've never played the game, but it's one of
those games that is so impactful in the culture. I feel like I have
it's influential at a certain point, you know, and it's it's and but
those are games they stand in their own ecosphere. Yeah, and as I'm
playing the game again, I'm remembering how atmospheric the whole thing is, and
how everything does just feel out of time because you've got this fifties design ethos
in twenty two eighty seven or whatever the hell it is. No, I'm
really looking forward to the Fallout show. I think it looks awesome. I
think that it can. There's so much to explore. It seems like I'd
have to pay a lot less attention than the free body problem. Yes,
I expects to be a very few unsolvable physics problems in Fallout. Like I've
heard some people like. I have not seen it myself. I have heard
some people like like and greatly dislike at the same time the Halo Show on
Paramount, and it's one of those like. We have had a litany of
bad video games to movies for you know, the last twenty years, you
know, and very few of them ever been I would considered to be good
at all. Some are like Myrtle Kombat, the first one, it's fun.
It's dumb, but it's fun, you know, and was pretty good,
yeah, the first Resident Evil. But things like Assassin's Creed that was
no good, not good. Uh yeah, Prince of Persia, Max Pain,
Like these are all should have been home runs that somehow they managed to
screw up. But by taking this the fallout turning into a show and like
looks like they're having like more fun with it, because yeah, I bet
their budget isn't much more than the paramount show for Halo. But they just
filled it with old rickety patio furniture and it works. Just fill in the
desert, throws some patio furniture and just burn everything half to death and now
it looks like a wasteland. Yeah. The only thing you have to build
that's going to be expensive to animate is going to be your power armor,
right, because then you're gonna have the guy running around in his green pajamas.
But otherwise it's practical props, you know, well, what are the
odds of like kind of like the first Iron Man armor was mostly made out
of plastic and it was just given that sheen to look like metal on screen,
Like, what are the odds it's just a guy in a PDC suit.
Well, I've seen people at conventions in England, not big conventions,
in very convincing a warhammer Ama yeah, it's like they can do this practically
if they wont Oh, yeah they can't. And I do like a big
clunky, practical effect. Yeah, I mean it would be I think that
it would be great. It looks really good. It looks like it's got
enough of the tongue in cheek elements that the game has. And yeah,
and it looked like they avoided some of the most expensive things to make,
like making a pile of eight foot supermutants, which are basically I don't know,
orcs almost Well, those are going to be expensive to build. But
raiders, well that's just a bunch of guys in scrappy ass leather armor with
guns. You can get those are those are extras. They're cheap. It's
cheaper to hire extras than to CG something it is. And also I mean,
like what they're CG budgets, Like getting rid of Goggin's nose. They
just put on the red skull, like the old the old red skull mask
that was left over from Captain America and then just cg off his nose,
just Voldemorta's nose, and you're going to reuse, recycle there it is sir
ah. Hell, maybe they just sliced his nose off. It'll be fine
to Speaking of reduce, reuse, recycle, this brings us to Star Wars
the Acolytes. Uh. There has been a lot of hype, a lot
of pushback, a lot of everything because the Internet is the Internet. Does
anyone care about sty Wars anymore? I'm gonna be very honest Site Left I
used some the same way there's been I know that. I obviously Disney bought
Lucasfilm for many billions because they want to make many billions, and they're going
to make an IP to sell more IP back to the people. And I'm
tracking that, I think because it's now a commercialized product and we get them
so often the same, like kind of like the late term MCU. I'm
burnt out well and I don't care anymore, and I've watched this trailer.
It looks cool. My only critique would be, obviously Lucas was influenced by
Westerns and samurai films, and obviously samurai westerns are influenced by samurai films and
wares. Yeah, World War two movies. This one is It's not even
like saying influenced by it is a samurai move, a show, like down
to the moves and down to the actions, and it's kind of on the
nose, and it doesn't feel influenced by it feels like it just is so.
But it does have some cool effects it has. I mean, it's
got the Star Wars things that Star Wars fans would like. It is set
one hundred years or so before the prequel movies, so is still the height
of the the Jedi Order before the Sith returns. So I don't mind it.
I don't mind the pre coel that is sufficiently in the past that is
not going to affect the always what else crossover character could possibly be as Yoda
because he's a thousand years old. So really tried hard to marry up those
pre coels with what we'd seen in the original movie. Just every time they
tried to do it did not. It was supposed to be the fall of
Anakin, and I get that. But the animated series, the Clone Wars
between, did a much better job than the movies did. Like, I
really enjoyed that animated Clone War series. But I will say people have become
a lot more forgiving of the prequels in light of some of the stuff we've
had since the prequels. No Judger is still the fucking devil. Yeah,
nobody's talking about Jaja. Whenever I see a meme, it's like, oh,
this is a funny Anakin meme. Let go on on, whs you
Jaja meme? And everybody goes quiet. Yeah, no vose to remember that.
So I didn't know this existed. Okay, it's coming very bevined.
The ship out of this. I so it's it was. It's being the
showrunner is a Leslie Headland. There is she was. If you saw the
show Russian Doll, for example, on Netflix, which are really in,
which was one of those like what's the groundhol day thing where people would die
and relive the same thing over and over and over. It's one of those
type of shows. It was really heady. He was very good. I
did enjoy. I recognized one name in the list of people I think carry
Anne Moss for like, who you know is Trinity? That is the name
exactly, That's the name that I recognize. I don't recognize any other actor
name, which is yeah, well the one actor is he was in The
Squid Game if you watch it on Netflix as well. I did. Okay,
it's quality show. So I'm go ahead hit play and feel free to
talk over because it's just more Star Wars. Oh, I don't like that.
They'll creatures closed, captions are unavailable. Okay, so he's telling these
young things to close their eyes. Your eyes, Uncle Anakin's gonna make it
old though, basically what do you see? You know? And the see
not having a sound and the fact that they don't close caption This one kind
of sucks in. Can the one little girl sees life? One girl fire?
Well, horrible things? See that's Carry Moss, who's she's aging?
Well? Why is she dressed like Ray? Why the Jedi is dressing the
same after one hundred years? Well, I've had that same argument, Like
it frustrates me in fantasy whenever they have like three thousands there of the Grand
all three thousand years ago, when the Ring of Power is almost destroyed,
you're wearing the exact same armor, wearing the exact same weapons, and the
exact same level of technology years ago. I mean, like I do.
The Chinese had magnetized technology has not advanced. Yeah, the Chinese had magnetized
competises for like centuries before they figured out we could probably use this to navigate
the ocean. Thus we went, we went from flight to the moon in
seventy Yeah, but that's because we're cool. Well that's true. And also
there magic. If you have magic, it's like cause ever since I,
Oh, God, do you think I walk anywhere? No, my walking
skills have agriphy massively. You go magic in a world? Did you get
complacent? I cannot, for the life of me be arsed to care about
that. I did not give a ship. Yeah, it's great, it's
great, wonderful. I am supremely indifferent to everything I just watched on the
screen. I feel the same way, and I guess it's it's burnout.
Here's the thing. If this had come out before, say, before the
New Race Skywalker, the New Trilogy, I might have been jazzed because we
were hungry for New Star Wars. When that happened, we were starving for
New Star Wars. It had been years and we were hoping for something beautiful.
I mean, there's a reason that like The Force Awakens made like two
billion dollars because we were starving for Star Wars. Now, when this stuff
comes on, like the Book of Boba Feed, I'm like, oh,
why, my god, why really? There is so much content so often,
and for me lately, I need content that is, I'm watching TV
to escape, right, I have to think a lot in my daily life.
I want to hear Walton Goggins talk about a big bucket of drugs.
Yes, I want that way more than I want some kids sitting cross legged
on the floor seeing fire like, well, that's kind of fucked up,
kid. They're just it's not even that there's so much Star Wars. There
were so many missteps and I still remember that kid Prince, that's lay a
chase scene. It's like, oh my god, who directed this? You?
People have millions and millions of dollars in the Obi Wan show. Yeah,
like Tonally was all over the place and yeah, yeah, here's the
thing. Every single one of those shows except Mandal Loorian has moments of coolness.
I don't give it moments of coolness. It's on my high, higher
level thing. But nothing's ever really got for me gotten above a C plus
to a B. Yeah, I agree with you, But here's where I
think the problem is. Because they all got to be serious now, because
we've got to get people paying for Disney Plus so people can feed. You
got to get that one hundred bucks a year for Disney plus Walt Disney's Frozen
Head the nutrients it needs or whatever. But what they've done, and what
they've done in Marvel is they'll take a concept which would have been great for
free episodes, Max, and they'll make it too eight and then there's just
a lot of suck. Yes, and then it becomes more suck than good,
and I start feel like I'm wasting my time. And I should ever
feel like I'm wasting my time because I do nothing with my time at all
of any use. So if your show is making me feel like man,
I should probably go clean the kitchen. You fucked up, because I don't
want to clean the kitchen. Speaking of you, and speaking of Marvel,
Steve, I made a joke many moons back, and you jumped on me
immediately after I said it, because I said, Beast is no one's favorite
X man, and you are popped on me with both feet like he's my
favorite because he's Mustler and Harry you know, You're like, yes, you
know. So have you watched the ninety seven the news show? No by
here? It's great and everybody This might sound a bit hypocritical, because every
time I come on one of these media reflection podcasts, I talk about leave
leave stuff in the past, stop fucking around with it, right, But
what they've done is they've taken a show that for its time, it was
pretty fucking ambitious. You know, we want putting the money into cartoons that
back then like we do now. And yeah, that thing with rogues Ass,
nothing's been taken away from you. Nineties cartoons were not on model.
Still you can go back and watch the same episodes and see you just just
look on Tumbling you'll find something similar. It's fine, nothing's been taken away
of you. They were horribly off model outside, all right. So in
the nineties about rogues Ass, I missed this original cartoon. They were everybody.
All the women were drawn exceptionally shapely, and obviously the men were drawn
over the muscular because they're comic book characters and all the time, well she,
I mean she was always like drawn as like they made her way more
vivacious, way more buxom, because it was that whole. But you see,
but you can't touch because of rogue blah blah blah. So for the
new show, they they took a a they you know, objectively beautiful round
butt and gave her a flat butt because less less of a male gaze.
And I understand why they did it. I know why they did at the
time because verbbs back then, and I understand we're trying to be more human
beings now. No, we're not. We're still all perverse now trying we
just do safe horny. It's like, have you seen the fucking Batman comic
strips with a night Wing? His ass is like constantly out all the time.
It's just we so we're all still horny. But the thing is that
picture of Rogue, it was whatever they modeled on with that giant ass.
She wasn't like that all the time. It's they're wildly inconsistent with character.
No, that was only when adam Use drew her for covers. Yeah,
now here's a question for you, Steve. There's a deep, serious philosophical
question. Oh god, look at the time. Yeah, I should probably
wrap up who's really America's ass? Is it Captain America or is it night
Wing? Uh? Well, night Wing's ass has been a lot more pornographized,
and I think that just makes for a better ass. Yeah, all
those like fantasy covers where they're like, who wears a chhae mel bikini?
Somebody with a fucking great body. All those nikes. Fingers were like where
are organs? They're in her tits where they belong. It's fantasy, Like
I understand that argument, but I also grew up watching like the Barbarian Twins
beast Master Conan where all the warward loin cloths as well, and it was
all like hex loin cloths too stupid, impractical. It goes right back to
his name. Before I was ripped, like the stars Guard guy, I'd
be in my underwear. Absolutely. The theory of the male gaze, even
the person who came up with the fear of the male gaze was like,
this is not the be all and end all of media discussion. It's like,
doesn't mean male gays equal bad extreme things in their place fantastic. As
long as it's not all the time and you're not sexualizing stuff that doesn't need
to be sexualized, you can just have like fantastastic bodies. They're fun to
look at, male and female. That's brilliant. Humans are interesting to look
at. That's why comic books are drawn the way they were for the very
like you don't need a comic You don't need a character drawn like me,
you know, you just you don't want that. So I don't want to
realistic comic book character, because comic books are supposed to be extreme, They're
supposed to hit the eye in a certain way. It's the show. I
watched the first episode and it and it hits you right like you did back
in the day. Obviously, the animation's cleaned up a little bit, but
they are very much trying to emulate that ninety style and it picks up right
where the old show left off. From what I've seen, the animation that's
fucking solid. It is very solid now. But it does bring back to
the one, like the right part of my brain that I can't turn off.
They bring in this one. They bring in a new mutant kid,
just like they did Jubilee in the first one, and it's Sunspotte Roberto da
Costa, and they've got the little color on him that's neutralizing his powers,
and he is the Jubilee for this first episod where they save him just like
they saved Jubilee, and it's you know, it kind of emulates the first
episode again, but in a nice fun, cool way to kind of reintroduce
all the characters, and it's really cool, but inevitably we have a scene
where, you know, obviously Rose next to Gambit. I hate Gambit.
I hate Gambit, Sorry, ri Car, I hate Gambit, and she's
like, I, you know, I miss I wish I could be touched.
I wish I could be touched. And in gam It it's like I'll
share blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. You have the technology that clip
this thing on and you have no powers, and it's sexy time. Literally,
I mean, we could make a bracelet, but the technology exists.
So the right part of my brain is you can't say this and then show
me this tech which would fix all the problems. So, if comic book
writing was consistent, the Flash would just spend all this time solving every crime
as it happens. Yet he'll be able to lose the Flash by ducking out
of the room and turning left instead of right. Yeah, what would happen
is every time somebody went to stab someone, the knife would disappear, and
a night would appear in the hand saying fucking stop. It signed the Flash
like on a on a global scale all the time. Every time somebody d
in a did you ever read the Kingdom Come series? He that version that
Alex Ross drew. That that's what happened to the Flash. His city,
Keystone City, was crimeless because he couldn't stop moving. He was always in
motion, so there was no crime whatsoever. And I think, how many
speeds does he have? Like the logical like everyone who used the speed,
that should be no crime. If I even think about a crime, that
should just be I should just suddenly find myself back at home with a very
kind of like patronizing letter from the Flash telling me to get my life together
anyway. One last trailer to share with everybody, and this is just to
make old man heart and a smile. John, I'm going to bring up
the trailer for Roadhouse. Now walk us into this all right? Makes raydos
so special. Roadhouse is an iconic piece of American cinema because not only do
you have the late, great, shirtless Patrick Swayzey, you have the incredible
Sam Elliott as the ass kicking mentor of Patrick Swayzey. You have the spectacularly
hot Kelly Lynch, and you have the greatest house band in the history of
movie bar scenes. The Jeff Healy Band also sadly deceased. But you have
a blind blues guitar player, and you have so many running jokes, so
many quotable moments. You play pretty good for blind white guy. Yeah,
and I thought you'd be bigger, you know there are. You have former
world World's Heavyweight Champion Terry Funk, Miss Sir Terry Funk. Yes, sir,
you have so many phenomenal character actors, and Swazy just getting the rocket
absolutely strapped to him at that point in his career. It's a it's a
western. The movie is a western. It is a man who comes to
town cleans up the bad guys, the man with one name. Yeah,
we're talking earlier about plot writing versus cool shit writing. There. I don't
think Roadhouse has a plot really that's worth talking about. It's just a string
of drinking mouth to come in and clean up the double deuce, and he's
that's a situation. Everything else is just pure heicing. There's no cake in
this movie. It's a delicious It's a magnificent seven without the other six guys.
Wayde Garrett got Wade Garrett. It's magnificent two, you have one and
a magnificent one point five. Okay, you need to show Sam Elliot's more
respect. Elliott, I'm not you, sir. That Swayze fills this movie.
There are two pieces of trivia that I for this flick. One can
you name the late, unfortunately late great cartoon voice actor of our generation who
was also in this movie who offered one of the drunks twenty dollars to touch
his girlfriend's boobies. No, Chris, remember that scene the voice of Starscream
and Cobra Commander Chris, does he have the stars Gray voice? He does
not. He goes twenty dollars to touch friends. What are you saying when
the guy goes, I don't have twenty dollars, He's like what and his
voice goes up in octivity. He goes right, the voice go back to
that scene. You will never be going to unsee it Number two anymore time
to touch. That's actually pretty gate, Jesus man, that's not bad.
And number two because because no one I think it was I think it was
Lionsgate that put the movie out. No one from the movie came back to
record the DVD soundtrack. So do you know who did do the DVD sound
excuse me, the DVD commentary, excuse me. No one was available.
Do you know who came back to actually do it for the DVD release stop
scream? Kevin Smith. Kevin Smith and his because he was just because it
was tangibly because the movie was put out at the time, and I think
it was like got bought out by the time by the Weinstein corporation. Smith
was heavily involved with the Weinsteins at the time, or Mira Max. So
him and his producer Scott Moser do the voice, they do the commentary.
They had nothing to do with the movie. They were not in the movie.
They were just they just tell jokes the entire time over the commentary.
If you have a DVD copy somewhere, work on Amazon Prime, if you
can find it, watch it with the commentary. That sounds really good.
Also, can we discuss Kathleen Wilhoyt as the amazing random chick that works at
the bar who then finally gets her scene on the same stage to sing on
wood. No, the whole the movie is a goddamn classic. It is,
and I will and I won't fight anyone who disagrees, because you gotta
be nice. You gotta be nice until it's time not to be nice,
right, So that leads us into this trailer. All right, I'm curious,
John, you started to say you started watching this because it dropped today,
and I know I'm gonna do later. It released today, Okay.
And Jake Jillenhall, I've not ever been a massive fan of his. He's
fine, He's a perfectly serviceable actor. I honestly feel quite bad for him
in this movie because the level of dehydration that he must have achieved, you
get that to look like this. The man must the man must not have
had to piss for a week after he finally was able was allowed food and
water again. Hugh Jackman, he used to say, before he did a
shirt in the scenes, like a lot of the wolfrings, it comes out
of the tank and whatever. He would not drink water for forty eight hours
prior, and he would have an incredible migrating headache. So bad as who
the scene was done just church chugging, So James Marsters said on Michael Rosenbaum's
Amazing podcast podcast, Yep, the inside of you or whatever? Yeah,
oh inside of you? Yeah yeah, James Marsters said, on there that
when Whedon told him that he was going to be a love interest in the
latter seasons of Buffy, he said, that's fine, but I need three
days notice before any shirtless scenes because you're not fucking doing to me what you
did to Riley. Because the guy that played Riley, they didn't give him
any notice and he looked like a normal human being with his shirt off.
Because of human beings, I want my leading men to look like they're about
to die, So push play. I'm going to now Steven a little setup
for this. If you haven't seen it, it is. He is a
former retired UFC fighter doing the exact same thing, and the Irish menace Connor
McGregor is the nemesis. That's it. That's all you need to know.
Sounds good. Jake gillen hol always looks a little bit sad. He does
have sad face. Yeah, he's a great actor, but when he's his
voice is not Dulton. No, this feels more like Deadpool does Roadhouse.
Yes, that's this scene right here was almost line for line from the original,
the scene where he's getting stitched up in the hospital. You like to
you ever win a fight? Nobody ever wins a fight that's directly from the
original script. This is all new and honestly makes more sense as a plot
device than this guy's a random temple bouncer. The concept of Dalton and Wade
Garrett is almost like John Wick and the Assassins, Like there's this secret underground
club that you don't know about, but they're all like, it's this network
of bouncers that all know each other. Yeah, and that's dumb, But
the idea of going to an underground pit fight. Yes, this guy is
a psychopath. The bad guy in this is far more completely psychotic. That's
Gregor. That's he's not acting. No eye on the boat. Oh okay,
yeah, yeah, he is the big bad Connor McGregor is the muscle,
that's true. Yeah yeah, he's the uh fuck guys like you in
the prison guy. Yeah right there. And he looks way bigger than he
did when he was actually fighting. Well, the camera adds four feet to
your height, so you know, I just mean he looks way thicker.
Oh yeah, well he's he's not a fighting weight anymore. He doesn't have
to be like one hundred and sixty two pounds anymore. He can be like
a normal one ninety five guy. Yeah, but yeah, that dude in
the pink blazer, his character is absolutely psycho. This bit of dialogue seems
stupid. Yeah, that's that's straight out of like doctor Banner. Yeah,
why is there a boat Chase's? What the fuck? Because there in Miami?
Yeah, or he made a boat chase in the original. So that
launched today and I went and watched the first thirty minutes of it, and
it's actually really clever. I was. I was not either. It's actually
pretty clever. It makes more sense. The motivation. The bad guy has
a better motivation than the original, because the original is just a bad guy
being a bad guy. Guy actually wants something I haven't got. I haven't
seen McGregor yet that he has not appeared in the first half hour of the
film. The flashback there are Jillen Hall has flashbacks to his apparently seriously mediocre
UFC career, and those don't make much sense to me yet. But again,
I'm thirty minutes in, I'm John. I was a lot more comfident
about it is when I thought it was going to be dumb. I mean,
it's the classic, but it is li sick. It's a dumb movie.
Oh yeah, it's dumb, filled with great one line is in fantastic
screen presence. Yeah, but it was done. That's why I didn't mind.
I always come in this podcast, I always say leave it in the
past, remaking stuff, you greedy, fucking, coked up bastards. But
they say I was going to remake Roadhouse. I thought, now that'd be
stupid. Well, see a lot of the Internet says like, take a
bad movie and remake that instead, And I agree, Roadhouse is fun bad
and Roadhouse is not safricainct. You can't remake Roadhouse and have fun with it.
And what they've done. My fear was that it was going to be
yet another Jason Statham retires to the Florida Keys and has to beat everybody up
kind of movie. I mean it well, I mean I'll basically watch almost
anything Jason Statham is in except the Meg two because everyone's warned me off of
that. Make for the Keys and beats up a shot. But this,
and I had real concerns about Jake Jillen Hall as the Dalton character because Jake
jillen Hall and badass are not things that he's versatile. Then I point you
to my favorite movie bubble Boy and uh, Jake Jill your favorite My favorite
Jake Jill in all movie. It's it's actually a fun, dumb movie.
It's sweet. I stand by bubble Boy, but he's pretty good in the
role. And they the things that they've done to update it. I like,
not everybody is a crazy ass white person, which is good. You
know, there are more people in the world, so it's more represent one
way. It's more representative of what the Florida Keys are. Like the chick
behind the bar is a Cuban chick. So he comes in and he's like,
hey, can I get a black coffee. She's like, no,
we got Cuban coffee. It's like all right, I'll take that. And
then he's like, whoa, that's that's something. I like it. And
she brings him breakfast, just like the chick in the original movie, but
she brings him mpanadas. You know, it's it feels smartly done. He
does yoga instead of tai chi, because of course he does yoga, you
know. It just he's living on a houseboat instead of living in a barn.
I mean, hell if I just if I can go to the Florida
Keys punch a couple of people and live on a houseboat for free. I'm
kind of here for that. I fell about the news of this remake exactly
as I did for the news of remaking Highlander. Now. I love Highlander,
but it's a stupid movie. And if somebody wants to Highlander two was
just fucking awful. So there was only ever one Highlander movie. Yeah,
so if anybody wants to say, I've got to remake Highlander, I'm like,
fair play to you. Go for it. I remember being an eight
year old kid disappointed with Highlander two and not really being intellectual culture developed enough
to understand why why don't I like high School that came out? I am
a few years older. It broke me, uh that being said, once
I heard that, uh uh, that sir mister Superman himself, whose name
is Escaping the Cat, is behind the thing for Highlander, I'm in.
I'm kind of in for him to do anything nerd to Jason because he is
such a nerd. Yeah, I trust him. That was an ungenerally bastards
movie. He's him, He's got one with Alan Richard, but was playing
that like World War two basically, like it's yeah, it's a British glorious
bastards and I can't wait to see it me too. Yeah, that will
be cool. But I love On Richland too. Even before they said Henry
Cavill was attached to remaking Highlander, I was like, yeah, sure,
what a funk not it's a dumb movie. You're not going to the one
hundred year old movie or whatever it is. It's like, are you going
to put are you going to make Queen do the soundtrack? No than freddie
Maker is dead? Are you going to have references in the movie to the
soundtrack? Does anyone do that anymore? It's like, you're probably not going
to remake Highlander. That's always going to be its own dumb little thing,
which I love. But that Ma said you could just totally put the same
music back in and you be just fine. Absolutely, yeah, please do.
And you can make Clancy Brown the Ramirez character and exactly. And the
bad guy has to at some point say it's better to burn out than to
fade away. You have to turn to the camera and say the name of
a queen song and you know, we're all just okay with that because Queen
Isolink just actually wink. How do you do? He does? Originally it's
a kind of bad. Can imagine? Please do that? I get?
I mean those fat bottom girls, they make the world go around them,
right there, those those rogue girls with the fat bottoms, they make the
world code. If every other line he says is a queen lyric, I'll
be absolutely made up with queen lyrics. I tried to do that once.
I wrote a character who only spoke in quotes from Shakespeare. That's a lot
fucking harder than yeah do in a narrative, and it's a I felt really
happy that I only used that character in one novella because that ship got old
fast. No. I think if you did it a queen songs in a
Highland a movie, it work like the final standoff for but Ah. So
here we are masters of the universe. You can just quite add tire song
that they wrote for the Highland the series, if you burn somebody down,
it's what they call me, mister Fahrenheit, you know, yeah about Highlander.
As soon as we're done recording this, I'm gonna go watch the rest
of Roadhouse because I liked the first chunk of it. I only watched a
chunk because I watched it while I was eating lunch and I had to get
back to actual, actually do things. But yeah, it's so far,
it's a lot of fun. They're not asking Connor McGregor to do any more
acting than they asked Terry Funk in the original. He's just an Irish asshole
in the movie. I don't know Connor McGregor. I don't know if he's
actually an asshole. I assume he probably is an asshole his entire media persona.
He might be a really nice guy in real life. And certainly,
if I am ever granted the opportunity to meet Connor McGregor, I will not
call him an asshole because I would be terrified to do so. No,
that seems like it seems needlessly risky. Yeah, only if I have large,
large people to hide behind. M Well, I've got to say I've
been more positive. I think about his side quest media reflection that I have
in any of a side quest media reflection we've done. I think a lot
of these, a lot of these ones stand out for themselves. It's like,
listen, this is obviously cash grab and you it's it's not reflective.
But the ones we showed like the ones that stood out. They stood out,
and they're positive, they were uplifting. I'm looking forward to I'm looking
forward to like watching them like what we just said, The Roadhouse or I'm
watching for a fall album. The Crow movie is going to be good,
but I think it's probably something I will I will put on. I very
likely will not watch The Crow. I will probably watch Three Body Problem and
not finish it and feel bad about it. Yeah, because I'll feel like
an intellectual failure. It's one of those it's one of those shows that comes
up in conversation, Oh have you've seen three? Oh no, but it's
in my cute it's my next to watch. Is not going to make me
feel like an intellectual failure when it comes to HBO or Netflix. I will
watch The Crow. Then I'm not going I'm not paying theater prices for that.
Oh wait, that's a real release, Like that's a go in the
theater. Watch that release is there hadn't been a Sky's Garden, Actually,
I would have thought this is I mean, he and Famka Jensen were in
that Netflix were Wolf series together, so yeah, sure something Pines or yeah,
gross Twilight. It wasn't way Withines. It was two two cute guys
get covered in blood a lot, and it's gross. Gross. But like
you said, they keep they keep diving back to art. Now, I
don't know who it is. I know if it's executives hoary or if they
or they're just trying to panter to people from our era. But like at
the same time, you don't you don't need to keep digging out old projects.
I don't need a new flash scoord And maybe I do, I don't
know yet. Off to see the trailer. But again Queen Songs. But
you know, every time I see something that's quality of now, like when
I see when they make Blue Eyed Samurai, and that blows me away in
animation and in style and everything they do like that is phenomenal storytelling. It
like that in Ourcane and a few of these other ones that immediately question like,
yeah, like this is your new bar. So yeah, we're talking
about I mean even Blue Eyed Simurai that had a very kind of something they
would have done in the night. You said that had bad budget. I
can ask yourself now, who's still watching TV? Is anybody under twenty year
olds actually watching TV? That's a very good point. I mean, well
it does yeah, blues clues and then it's straight onto fucking YouTube. So
yeah, TikTok videos, more fucking commercial network TV. Steve, give me
one movie from your era that you want remade. Oh, Hawk the Slaer,
say that again, Hawk the Slaer really really low budget fantasy movie that
tried to do seven Samurai but with fantasy characters, ELFs and dwarfs on a
budget of about fifty quid, filmed on somebody's dad's camcorder. I'd love to
remake that exact, same budget, exact same locations, exact same e fuss
hey for you. I'm releasing a book this summer that is a high fantasy
seven Samurai. Do you have a giant who's not actually that tool and a
dwarf who really isn't that? Sure? Depends on how you cast I saw
that a dwarf and a and his half orc wife. That's fantastic, John
movie or TV show from back in our day that needs a remake. Greatest
American Hero fad frea fantastic That is an amazing That show was stupid as hell.
Yes it can't make it smart. I need I need the same song.
You can do a modern cover but I need the same song. Yeah,
I need to believe it or not. And for me, for me,
it's a tie between beast Master and like a good but a good remake
a beast Master and or maybe the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen do it more like
the comic was just remake the movie shot for shot, line for line until
the last ten minutes and then put a fucking decent ending on it. Don't
put ninety don't put Tom Sawyer's an American agent in it. That was ninety
five percent of a great movie. And like every Stephen King novel, they
couldn't stick the fucking landing? Fair enough? All right? Does he anybody
else? Have anyone they want to share the audience? We sign off any
last plugs. I remember to pressure me to watch Free Body Problem. I
should really do better about that. Remember to buy my shit. And I
really don't hate Stephen King. I just think it can stick the landing.
I'm indifferent on Stephen King, and also buy my shit. So on behalf
of these other amazing authors. This has been another episode of side Quest with
authors and dragons. We thank you all very much and we hope to see
you all soon. By any case, and in case we haven't said it
recently enough, fuck you Mark. Oh yeah, fuck you Mark. Bye
Bye Bye. Authors and Dragons brought to you under Creative Commons license, meaning
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