Welcome back to the Black Girl Experience. I am your host, Jasmine Dan
Yea, I am back. I am back. I am back. I
am back. That wasn't a bad side. That was a decompressed sighe for
real, for real, because baby, life when you really man, oh
my god, I don't know what the fuck y'all be going through, but
the should I be going through? Man, you need to fucking decompressed for
real, for real. That's why I can't even think about anything other than
my life, bro, for real, because life is too fucking much.
The world wants you to care about so fucking much. I'm I'm sorry.
All I can care about is my life right now. That's all that I
can care about is my fucking life. Niggas only get one life. Niggas
only get one life. We really be living this bitch like we get more
than one life. You only get one life, nigga. So yeah,
excuse me if I'm not worried about all that bullshit. I'm worried about my
life. I'm worried about my life, how I'm gonna live. I don't
give a fuck about how you live in your life. I'm trying to live
my life and you see, I just had to do my decompressed sigh.
I just moved my shoulders. It's a little it's a little tense in my
back. It's a little tents in my back. I can't care about your
life. I care about my life. I don't care man. So yeah,
you been needing to decompress from life. Bro, when I tell you
it's my back is tense right now? Is this a little tension in the
back. I'm a little sore. But that's how life is. You're always
gonna feel some type of way. Some days you're gonna be good, you're
gonna be regular, you're gonna be happy something. Some days your body gonna
be sore, some days you're gonna be in pain. You're always gonna feel
something. And again, to think that society will wants you to place y'all
focus on everything else that's going on in the world when you need to be
focused on yourself. We really all could exist in life if we just existed
in ourselves. For real, We could all just exist in life if we
all would just exist in ourselves. But that's the problem. They want you
to be here here, here, here here, They're there there, there,
there, here here here, worry about this, worry about this,
like nigga. Why niggas be worried about real life problems that they don't have
time to give a fuck about anything else. So, yes, when you
meet a person like me, I'm focused on my life. I'm on myself.
I want to be able to walk through life and be good regardless of
what's going on around me. Why because that ain't got ship to do with
my life. So that's why I'll be worried about my motherfuck herself. That's
why the focus is on my motherfuck her self and baby, I'm doing the
best that I've ever done, focusing on myself, focusing on how I feel,
focusing on what I want to do, focusing on what works for my
life. When I was trying to do it other nigga's way, it wasn't
working. But when I focus on myself, I get far. I go
far, I flourish, I flow. I focus on myself. I just
bro I've never seen myself go so fucking hard. I've never seen myself go
hard. I go hard for myself. I go hard for myself. I
pour into myself. That's why that's why I go so far. I think
people really. I think people just say shit because it sounds good. I
have to poorant. Everybody's talking about pooring to today, said, niggas is
not pouring into themselves. Bro, niggas is not pouring into themselves or and
I'm guilty of this too. I'm guilty of this too, talking about how
I'm always pouring out. You could tell when you're not pouring into yourself.
You can tell when you're not pouring into yourself. You you're gonna look like
you're not pouring into yourself. You're gonna sound like you're not pouring into yourself.
You're gonna act like you're not pouring into yourself. Pour into yourself,
because baby, you're gonna get tired of pouring into other motherfuckers when they don't
pour back. Have you ever poured into a motherfucker that ain't pour back?
Who? Let's talk about boundaries, Let's talk about standards. Have you ever
reported to a motherfucker that ain't poor back? That's my life. I just
pulled my own card on that. I ain't gonna lie. I just pulled
my own fucking card. A nigga can't breathe, I gotta take a drink.
Who I put the fuck out of my card, nigga. My heart
beating fast. That's how real that shit is. But when you when you
think about it, when you say it out loud, you were poor bring
into people that weren't pouring back into you. That's not pouring intoe yourself.
That's not respecting yourself. You can't give when they don't give back. So
yeah, that was a deep That was a life decompressed side, nigga.
And not even just that shit, just life period. Life gets stressful as
fuck, nigga. You need to Niggas need to woo side at the end
of the day. I don't have nothing against people that are at certain phases
in the life of you. And you'll turn up phase. That's cool.
If you win your go out phase, that's cool. I'm sorry. At
the end of the day, at the end of my day, I want
to whose side, nigga, am my oh this hill, don't worry,
I'm my oh this hill. I just want to come home and whose side
And niggas just want to take a breath, and nigga want to sit down
and buff day's shoulders up and down. I'm like, whoo, today it
was a day today was a day. Oh my fucking god. Niggas be
having days, niggas be having You don't know what type of day a motherfucker
is having. You don't know what type You don't know what type of day
somebody is having. So that's why you should be kind your attitude. Joe
energy, he might change somebody day. A nigga might be on the verge
of ending their fucking life. But you came in and had good energy.
Do niggas really respect energy? I was about to end my life, but
I meant you. You said something that you know that touched me. You
spoke life into me. So that's why you can't pour into people that don't
pour back. A nigga lose me, you're losing somebody that speaks life into
you. What are the people around you doing? What are the people around
you doing? That's why niggas can't get near me. That's why I'm a
hermit. That's why I be in the fucking house. Niggas can't get near
me. I don't want that type of energy around me. I'm focusing on
myself. This is real shit. This is real fucking shit, bro.
So yes, when I come home, I got the decompressed side. But
it ain't all bad. It ain't all bad. Oh baby, it's good.
Oh baby, it's good. It's good. It's good in the it's
good in my hood. Because I'm focused on myself. I'm flourishing. I'm
going far. Every day I wake up, I'll just man. I remember
the days when I would wake up and I would be mad, like,
damn, this is my life. Oh I gotta go to work, this
is my life. Like I don't feel like that no more. I wake
up, I feel good. I feel so good. I wake up early.
I'm talking nigga. Four am, two am, three am, can't
go back to sleep? Okay, well, I'm up. Let me be
productive. When people wake up during the witching hours, or if you're in
that phase and you're like, be like, why do I keep waking up
at three am? Why do I keep waking up at three am? Nigga,
You're supposed to be working. You'll be sitting there doing nothing in the
middle of the night. Nigga, don't but those are the most productive hours.
Fucking nine to five, fucking day job. Fuck nigga, three am.
I'm up. I'm working on myself. The universe is trying to tell
me something. But trust me, I was there when I was like,
I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing, just up, Like why
the fuck do I keep waking up at this time? You gotta ask yourself
questions. You gotta understand when the universe is playing with you. I like,
when the universe play with me, I'm like, yes, are you
can we play a game? Are you ready to play a game? Like?
I like the games that the universe play with me, but not all
of them, not all the games. All the games don't be fun,
but a lot of times the games to be fun. What is this trying
to tell me that's a game with the universe? What the fuck is the
universe trying to tell me I had a bed through this ship twenty five times?
Well I don't, but you probably really was what it's trying to tell
you? Why the fuck do you have to take a test twenty five times?
Ask yourself that this is working on yourself? Why do I have to
take a test twenty five A life test, nigga, not a test in
school, A life test. A life test. Niggas be wasting years of
their life doing the same shit over and over and over and over and over
and over, like I want my life to change, Nigga, you gotta
change. Niggas be wanting a life to change and don't do shit about it.
How do I know that because I'm that person too. My life was
the same for a very long time because I refuse to change it now.
The tough part is when you gotta go against society, when you gotta go
against your family, when you gotta go against what you know, when you
gotta when you gotta go against everything. But if you're trying to change your
life, nigga, you're gonna have to go against everything. I don't have
to. I'dn't went up against every person in my life, like I'm on
the last level of a fucking game trying to defeat the boss. Nigga.
I didn't had to go up against everybody in my fucking life. And guess
what, these niggas be your family. It'd be the people closest to you.
I gotta go through a life battle. I gotta go through a life
lesson with the closest niggas in my life. So yeah, if I already
got to deal with that with my family, when I look at the niggas
around me, What what what are we doing? If niggas got to go
through life battles, life challenges, nigga life lessons with a family, Why
the fuck do I want to go through that with you? I talked about
this all the time. My favorite worst question in a job interview. Tell
me about the time that you had a conflict with a car worker. Nigga,
I'm coolest fuck with the gang talking about why would I want to have
beef with niggas at work? We get nigga, we got a good vibe
over here, we got a good moround going on over here. Why the
fuck will we have conflict? But niggas like conflict. I'm a cool last
nigga. I'm in the I'm in the corner with the cool niggas were trying
to be cold. So yes, nigga, I come home. I want
to have a decompressed sigh. But man, it's just it's a lot has
been going on. But damn, I ain't even talk sea niggas. I
taught two yoga classes this week. I talked two yoga classes this week.
I am so fucking proud of myself, bro, Like, oh my god,
have I never been proud of myself, Nigga, I'm so proud of
myself. I feel like I feel like I've stepped into my higher self.
I feel like my higher self is like, we're fucking proud of you,
nigga, standing ovation. Like I'm so fucking proud of myself, and I
feel like I'm at my highest potential. I feel like I'm doing my best.
You know what I'm saying. I'm very fucking proud of myself. I
have never been this proud of myself. I am proud of myself, and
I think my life is a reflection of that. If somebody seeing me,
they probably like them you proud of yourself, Like, yes, I'm proud
of my I'm proud of my accomplishments. I'm proud of my life. I'm
proud of the person that I am. You walk with the energy that you're
proud of yourself. So, yes, I talked to classes this week.
I'm proud of myself for that. I'm very fucking proud. I'm proud of
my progress. I'm proud of my gross I'm proud of my progress. Nigga.
I ain't never seen me just get shit and just be both boo nigga,
next level, next level, next level, pouring it, but I
pouring into myself, A nigga going up every day. I'm feeling better every
day. I'm feeling good every day, like the progress when I'm on my
own fucking path, when I'm doing my own fucking thing, when I'm listening
to myself. Yeah, I'm gonna progress because I know what's best for me.
I'm proud of my growth. Yes, for fucking grow. Oh my
god. But I'm gonna be honest. I never felt like I was a
childish ShaSS bitch. I never felt like that. But even but no,
but you can. You can grow up many other ways. Though I'm proud
of my discipline. I don't do everything every day, but I'll tell you
this, I do have some form of discipline, discipline through yoga to get
up and do something every day, because that helps me mentally. It provides
clarity, It provides focus, It provides balance, It helps me physically,
It strengthens me, and it provides that This one because I do it every
day. But I do it every day why because I love how it makes
me feel. It gives me balance, It gives me clarity in my life.
A lot of niggas is shook up. Niggas shook up in life.
I don't want to be shaken up. I want to be clear, I
want to be grounded. I want to feel rude it. So, I'm
proud of my growth. I'm proud of my progress. Oh, I'm proud
of my strength, nigga. I'm proud of my strength. But actually I'm
not really surprised by that. Uh shout out to all the strong black women.
That's our life, nigga. A black woman's life is strength, nigga.
What what y'all thought it was anything else? A black woman's life is
strength, nigga. You know I'm shit. We carry on our black nigga.
The fact that I'm laughing because this shit is comical to me. A
black woman's life is strength, ain't And sometimes we be kind of mad that
we gotta be proud to be like that. Like, can I take a
break? Can I lay back? Un? Can I be a Can I
be a fucking king? Can I be a fucking lady? Bro? Bro,
I don't want to be strange. I don't want to be strange,
nigga. I don't wanna fucking be strength. You got the muscles. I
want to be a fucking lady. I want to relax. I wanna kick
back. I don't want to be in the field. Y'all niggas are sick
at fuck. Oh my god, but no, we are required to be
strong period as humans sniggers, not just as women are me and like,
you need to have some strength for real. And that's the thing. I
ain't gonna lie. Oh this is so crazy. I love key, don't
be wanting to ask sometimes I don't me want to ask for strength. I
ain't gonna lie because I know what comes with that. Like, damn,
this is thing about to put some battles on me, like you know,
like baby, but that's what I'm saying. Like, sometimes as a woman,
I get tired of being strong. Bro, that shit is that shit
wearing tear on my body? It for fucking real. Literally, people be
walking around with burdens on their back. Seriously, though, people walk around
with burdens on their back, whatever it is, financial burdens, emotional burdens,
physical burdens. That shit requires a lot of fucking strength and at some
point you're not gonna be able to hold it up. At some point you're
not gonna be able to hold up the burdens in your life. That shit
is gonna break you the fuck down. So yeah, the people around me,
Hell no, I don't want you to be a fucking burden in my
life. I have enough burdens on my back. But again, you can't
pour into people that don't pour back. So yes, life, you need
to decompress. You need to take a brand at the end of the day.
But overall, well, shit, I can't even say overall, because
you know I'm always fifty fifty. I can see both sides. I just
see both sides. I ain't gonna lie. The bad be bad, but
the good be good, you know. But again, you gotta have that
balance. You gotta have that balance, man, Yeah, you gotta have
balance. Okay, I'd had enough bad. Put a little extra good on
my plate. Please put the good on. Yeah, let me get an
extra good. Let me get some extra good. Nigga's out here extra bad,
niggas out here extra bad. But you gotta have that balance. Um
acceptance. You gotta know how to accept the good and you gotta know how
to accept the bad. And that's the thing we don't We don't want to
do nothing uncomfortable because niggas can accept good all day. Oh, give it
to me, give it to me, Give it to me, gigas,
give it to give it to me, give it to me, give it.
Niggas want. Niggas want all the good. You can't accept the bad
though. Oh no, oh no, this is bad, This is uncomfortable.
This, oh no, oh no, oh no. I can't take
bad like but you can take the good though. So acceptance being able to
accept what it is, and that's a that's a toughie. That's a tough
one. Acceptance ship for what it is. And I think that in order
to be able to accept shit for what it is, or it's easier to
accept shit for what it is when you can accept yourself for what you are.
Because again, the main focus in my life is me. So yeah,
I care about other ship, but not that deep because I care more
about what's going on with me. So whatever, accepting whatever outside of me,
but accepting myself, because that's the thing. It's a lot of people
that are not going to accept you. There are people that are not going
to accept you for who you are, whether that be your race, your
gender, just the person that you choose to be. I just I don't
accept you for who you are, Like, damn what. So yeah,
I'm gonna accept myself. I'm not gonna be trying to get in with this
or that, or you or them like. I'm gonna just be good with
myself. I accept myself ware who I am. I don't give a fuck
about other niggas accepting me. I accept me. We care too much about
other fucking people, and I just don't give a fuck. Why should you
give a fuck. I'm trying to tell y'all that life would just be so
simple if niggas just worried about themselves and focused on themselves, you'll get very
far. You don't have to run into a nigga like because you're on your
own fucking path. You don't ever have to run into anybody else when you're
on your own fucking path. It ain't nobody on my way over here,
nigga only I'm not only I know where I'm gonna This is my path,
got your own path? So yeah, But one thing that I wanted to
share is just that I hope that I can inspire at least one person listening
to this, to a person that feels like they're lost in the world.
You know what I'm saying, It just don't know where they're going, don't
know what's happening, feel like they're constantly in the same cycle. And you
know what I'm saying, it just can't figure ship out. Like there's a
way, there's a way. But you have to tap into yourself. You
gotta tap into your own fucking power. You You literally have power. You
literally have power. The ship that y'all see me on is powers, nigga,
these are powers within me. If you sit there and literally watch somebody
transform their life, what you think they aren't, It ain't nothing over here
with me. It's just me. You are powerful. You are powerful,
and that strength, but not me talking about I look and you don't be
wanting to ask for no you know, no battles because it requires strength,
but not for real because that shit that should be tough, not You made
me one of your toughest soldiers. This nig made me one of his toughest
soldiers. White mean white me, And that's sad. That's sad. I
get upset with myself when I do that, when I say, why mean
what you mean? Because you that girl, That's why what you mean why
mean you that girl? That's why tap into your power. And that's what
I'm say. You gotta know how to talk to yourself. You gotta know
how to talk to yourself. I would be damned of a motherfucker thought that
I don't talk to myself. I talk to myself all the fucking time.
Shit, that's the only person I talk to. I talk to myself the
most. If you are here on the phone with somebody for hours on end,
come here, let me check in with you. How much time are
you giving yourself? You on the phone with a motherfucking for twelve hours a
day. Baby, I'm talking to myself all day. And everybody does talk
to themselves. But the question is, how do you talk to yourself?
If you talk to yourself in a negative manner ninety five percent of the time,
guess how you're gonna act. It's almost like a parent and a child.
However you treat yourself however you talking to yourself. And you know a
child is small. A child just takes it in. A child, you
know what I'm saying. And that's what you do to yourself. So are
you beating yourself down or are you building yourself up? Hopefully building. I
ain't fucking with beating self sabotage. Oh I'm sick. I ever got connected
to that bitch? How do we even meet? How to fuck did I
I want? I wanna know? Please take me back to the place in
my life when when I learned self sa aabotage? Because what the fuck I
wish my higher self was there? How the fuck did we let this bitch
slip through the cracks? Because this bitch is a fighter. This bitch don't
miss a day self sabotage. It's one thing to sabotage something else, nigga,
it's another thing to sabotage yourself. But if you're a person that's self
sabotages, how can you not sabotage everything else around you? You sabotage yourself.
So again, an even deeper issue. What do we got going on?
Let's pull back the layers here, let's work on ourselves. This is
what I'm saying. People be worried about the wrong shit. You need to
be focused on yourself about a lot going on. It's a lot to peel
back. A motherfucker meets you on the street, get your number now,
y'all together, and then they're like, whoa, you got a lot of
shit going on, bro, what the fuck? But you wouldn't know that.
They wouldn't know that because they don't focus on themselves. That's why it's
important to be intentional with people, because if a person is out here not
focusing on themselves and they fucking with you, that's gonna trickle over into your
life. That's gonna affect you, that's gonna change your energy. So again,
just focusing on yourself, working on yourself. People talking about that healing,
Are you really healing out here? Are you healing or are you the
villain? That's two different things. Villain is just bad. They don't just
just bad. Healing is like, I'm working on it. I'm I'm getting
better, I'm accepting the pain. I'm accepting how I feel, I'm excepting,
you know, I'm accepting what I'm going through. I'm healing. So
yeah, man, life is a fucking lot, so I don't really got
to try to be worried about anything outside of my fucking self. But my
body is just very Yeah, I'm very sore right now. But also,
m why are you sore? Growing pains? Growing pains? Oh you stretching
you growing. Oh yeah, because why the fuck about just randomly not randomly
sore? But you know, you do have those days, and I guess
if you go like extra extra hard. But life, for the most part,
feel like I haven't really been sore lately, growing pains. I also,
yeah, I've been getting a lot of symptoms, not that I think
about it, Like yesterday, man, was it two days in a row
or was it just your I had a dog ass headache yesterday. No,
I was probably like two days and my stomach was herry y'all's been like,
bitch, you got COVID. No, it wasn't. No, it was
just like, I don't I don't attribute that to being sick. It was
just like, I don't know. I felt like I was just going through
something, and I am. I've been going through a lot. Like I
said, I'm proud of my progress. I'm proud of my growth, Like
I've grown as a person mentally, I've grown as a woman. I've grown
as a mother. That's another thing, bro, I am so proud of
myself as a mother. Like when I look at my son, I'm I'm
raising an amazing person. Like what type of person are you raising? And
that's what you think too. Sometimes when you're dating a person, like it's
like, oh, parents raise you to act like this, to treat people
like this? Like what type of person are you? Know what I'm saying,
Like you look at people and wonder how they were raised. Why would
you do that to a person? Why would you treat a person like that?
And people's parents love to walk around and say that like, oh,
they wasn't raised like that. I didn't raise them like that. What they
act like that? They act like that because that's who they are, That's
who the fuck they are. I'm raising an amazing person. I think a
lot. Well, yeah, I feel like kids. I think all kids
start out good. All kids start out innocent, All kids start out pure.
That's how we all start out until until you know, the world taints
us. And some people don't come back after they get tainted. But I
genuine believe, I genuinely believe that I'm a good person, so I teach
my son to be a good person. My son is a good person to
everybody. He's very nice. He's very nice, and unfortunately, sometimes in
life, if you're nice, you know, you might you might get walked
over. But that's why you gotta have discernment, you know what I'm saying.
But this, but again, these a lot of type of things that
you gotta teach your kids, the real things that matter. How how how
are you gonna survive in life? If you die a morl knock on wood?
Is your kid gonna be able to survive in life? So yeah,
So I'm just I'm so proud of my growth. Man, I'm just I'm
just looking at myself again. I feel like I feel like I'm my higher
self, looking at myself. Be the best, be at my highest potential,
doing the best that I can do, putting my best foot for clearly
a business putting her best foot forward. You're doing the best you've ever done.
And that's what happens when you focus on yourself. I can't focus on
nothing else but me, Baby, I'm looking at me. I'm looking at
me. You looking good today, girl, focusing on myself because you see
what happens when you focus on other things. You see how you start to
deteriorate. You see how you start to drain. You see you see how
you start to change when you focus on other things. Don't let it be
a distraction, because a distraction is coming in hot, it's coming in tempting,
it's coming in looking good. It's coming to distract you. It's coming
to throw you off, off your track, off your path. A nigga
out here walking their path and a distraction will come and knock you off.
Bitch, get out of here, get moved. That's what a distraction does.
I don't need it. I don't need it. That's why I need
to be focused. So yeah, I'm gonna be disciplined to get up and
do yoga every day because I need to be focused. I love balancing poses.
That's why I have so much fucking balance in my life. Oh you're
spiritual as fuck. You really be awesome shit, but you also kind of
ratchet though. But it's a balance. You're a real nigga. You're a
real nigga. But in order to have balance in your life, you have
to have focused or else you're gonna be wobbly. That's why your gaze has
to be on something. You have to be looking at something to hold you
in place. You gotta focus to be balanced. If you're worried about custon,
because I'm worried about that. You're worried about all the ship in the
fucking world. Nigga. No, you're not gonna have balance. You're gonna
be all over the place. Who you look like you're about to topple over.
I'm over here, still grounded and rooted in myself, in my truth,
what I stand for, what I say. I'm on ten toes about
this shit. Nigga. I'm gonna go to war for myself. Nigga Warrior
A opening up to Warrior B, reversing that war. Yes, I'm gonna
go to war about myself. I don't play about me no more. I
used to. I don't play about me no more now though, because I
I see my value, I know my words, I know what I bring
to the table. You ain't see it, niggabye fuck out of here.
Yes, it's just so much. Life is so fucking much. Life is
so fucking much. Gotta get focused, Gotta get on your game, gotta
get on your aim. Because time is everything, Time is money, Time
is money. Let me share, Let me share it, let me share
it with you, Let me keep it a buck, let me keep it
all the way the fuck real. Y'all know that the yoga studio that I
was working at in October. You know that they closed down November thirtieth.
Remember the girl sent the email and was like, Hey, I don't really
give a fuck about your families, but I can't do this no more.
I gotta worry about my family. Yeah, the yoga studio was closing.
Remember that I didn't have a job. When I was going through yoga teacher
training. All I could think about was how the fuck am I gonna pay
for this? Am I gonna still be able to do this? Am I
gonna be able to finish this? As soon as I started that, bitch,
my job was over. I'm like, what the fuck? But that's
what I'm saying. Give gives his toughest battles to his toughest shoulders, his
soldiers, and then God had to stick it out. I had to stick
it out. I had to figure it out. I just paid my yoga
teacher training off today. Yes I graduated, but I had to pay for
it. So again, when it came back to that, every opportunity doesn't
come with a paycheck. I didn't mind having to work that off, but
that's tough to have to work for something and not you know, reap the
bit the benefits financially at all. So that's what it means to put your
blood, sweating tears into something. But I had to work for that,
Nick, I had to work for that. So I'm proud of fuck of
myself. Today. I felt like a burden was lifted. But I worked
for that. I did that myself. I would have never appreciated did it
truly if it was given to me. I worked for that. I did
that. This is something that I hold deeply within myself. This is this
me accomplishing. This is deeply rooted in myself. And when I look back,
I don't have Oh yeah, I paid for this, Like you know
what I'm saying, somebody else did it for me? What if somebody gave
it to me? Like I worked for this physically, mentally, spiritually,
emotionally. I poured myself into this. I worked for this. I did
this. So today I was happy as fuck, and I'm just happy that,
like how fast everything is happening for me. I'm happy to have a
place to call a home, Like this is the tribe that I was asking
for when I'm like, man, I just please align me with my people,
align me with my people that know me, that understand me. That
just feel me. You ever met niggas like that, that know you,
that feel you, that understand like, nigga, we're not the same people.
We ain't come from the same mama. You like feel like, dangn
this my soul tried, These my niggas, these my people. That's what
this is for me. I'm aligned with my people. I'm grateful for that.
I'm thankful for that, you know what I'm saying. So if you
wake up every day and you're somewhere where you don't belong or you got people
around you that's not supposed to be around you, you're gonna hate that shit.
It's not gonna be good for you. You're gonna hate the niggas in
your life. You're gonna always be arguing with the niggas in life. You're
gonna always have drama with the niggas in your life because them, it's not
your people. The universe is trying to get you the fuck away from them,
but you want to stay. I'm just toxic as hell. I like
be into like bitch, No, the universe is trying to save you,
motherfucker. But people go through those same lessons over and no. Like,
bro, you're gonna fuck yourself up. You're gonna fuck yourself up, and
you're gonna hate it. You're gonna fucking hate it. But you could have
been over here with you'all tribe. Nigga. Waking up grateful every day,
waking up thankful every I can see my niggas today. I get to be
around my people. I get to be around the people that I connect with
on an energetic level. Were on the same vibe, but we on the
same frequency. That shit feels good. You talk to somebody and they feel
like home, Like, oh, I man home, Nigga. I can
kick off my shoes okay and relax my feet with a person. I could.
I could let my hair down with a person. I could be vulnerable
with a person. I could be intimate with a person. I can share
with a person. Those are the type of connections that I want. That's
the type of energy that I want around me. We gotta really be connected,
because after you connect with somebody on the physical, that don't mean shit,
Okay, who work? Okay? What else? What else? Nigga?
We gotta be connected on an energetic level. We gotta be connected on
a mental level. That baby, Yes, that's top two. I don't
even know which which one mental or energy or energetic. If you had to
choose mental or energetic. Hold on, let me think, Let me think.
Okay, mental connection, you stimulate me. You you know you're stimulant.
I'm moving. You stimulate me. You get me thinking. You're a
challenge. You know what I'm saying. We could communicate, we can have
conversations, we can go there with each other, we can get deep.
It's not surface level, you know what I'm saying. The mental connection or
energetically again, how I'm at my soul tribe and it's just like we vibe,
we click, were there like we're here because we connect energetically. You
might not even connect energetically with your family. You might not connect energetically with
your man. You might not connect energetically with your friends. What's the energy
like when y'all in the room together, what's the real vibe? This bit
really acting funny? You know what I'm saying. You know what the energy
is? How do you connect with somebody energetically? It's so it's so easy
to read energy. It's so fucking easy. It's so fucking easy to read
energy. Somebody could walk in the room and be looking in a certain type
of way. You like, damn, what's wrong with you? The energy
is off, so stop acting like you can't read it mentally or energetically.
Though, if I had to choose, Uh, I'm gonna pick energetically over
mentally because I already know that everybody ain't got at all. So when you
used to nigga's not having it all. Uh, that's a very big problem.
But I could work with that and try to figure that out. If
it's off energetically, nigga just don't work. Sometimes I meet people, specifically
guys, like if I'm out and I'm hanging, I don't know, and
I really don't do this, but I feel like this does happen sometimes,
Like men will get irritated with me because I don't feed into them because of
their energy. It's like, I don't even want to have a conversation with
you because I can see what type of energy you have. And then you
know, they start treating me a certain type of way or start talking to
me like, see, not you giving off the bad energy because you know
what I'm saying, Like no, but I already read that. I already
read that. So yeah, if the energy is off. And again,
that's why I'm a hermit. That's why I have to be by myself.
That's why I like to be in my bubble, because I read energy and
I'm very protective of my energy. I don't let anything penetrate the aura.
Okay, I don't want that shit. I don't want to be around it.
You I'm not gonna purposely put myself in that position. Hell no,
I worked too hard to get this good energy, this good vibe. That's
why motherfucker's wanted. No, I'm not. It ain't for sale, It
ain't for sale. I created this for myself. This is really my life.
Go find that for yourself. So yeah, just many things, but
um, I don't know. I'm just I'm also just in a very good
place, you know. I'm just also in a very good place. Though,
seriously, just across the board, I just feel fucking great, you
know what I'm saying. And that's the thing to never turning back, never
turning back. I remember in the days when I did not feel like this.
I feel fucking great. I want to I want to keep this momentum
going. I want to stay in this energy. This is the best that
I've ever felt mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically. I feel fucking great
in every aspect of my life. I want to stay here. I want
to continue to pour into this. I want to continue to nurture this and
just get better and better and better and better and better. You know what
I'm saying, Like, why would I not? Why the fuck not?
So Yeah, So I just wanted to come on here and just share that
with y'all. I don't know if there's anything I think I did get pretty
deep, but I say I don't think I had anything too deep to share.
I think that was pretty deep. I think that went pretty Jazmine.
I think that went pretty deep. That's what I'm saying. This is the
life of a Pisces. This is picy season nigga. Like if that wasn't
deeper than the ocean floor already, Like, Nigga, that was pretty deep.
That was pretty fucking deep. That was like fifty nine minute nigga.
That was an hour deep, my nigga. But it can get deeper,
That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm trying to tell niggas. Niggas be
like, damn bitch, all right, that's enough. That'd be too much
for people. It's too intense, it's too much passion, it's too much
for niggas. I get deep as hell, like, damn bitch, we
still digging, Yeah, go deeper, Damn bitch, we still swimming.
Yeah, go deeper, Like I want to get to the bottom of it.
I want to get and it is no bottom. Just keep going deeper,
Just keep going deeper. And that's one of my favorite things to say.
I'm always looking for the deeper meaning of things, like you could never
just it could be something so simple. It could be something so simple,
and I'm gonna over analyze it and Nigga dive into the deepest oceans of figuring
out the answer to it because like it's more to this, but it's more
to this, But it's more to this, it's where did that come from?
Like you know? And I feel like the deeper meaning being the sweet
shit that mean, the sweet shit, the deeper meat like Dane that she
had a deeper meaning. It wasn't you. Nobody cares about the little basic
whatever you threw out there, like Nigga, no, what do this shit
really mean? It's something underneath this, like okay, I am am,
I am I in my season? Am I in my feelings? I'm I.
I don't really think. I don't know, not like m. I'm
always in my feelings, but not like that right now, not that type
of being in my feelings. But I'm definitely always my feelings. That's nigga.
How can you not be in telling your feelings? That's how the fuck
you feel? And that's nigga's problem. You're not even tapped into how you
fucking feel. Gonna gets how you feel. Ignoring how you feel like that's
a that's a that's a real sickness. That's an illness. You should be
tapped into your feelings. I'm numb. I don't feel shit. WHOA get
the funk away from me. That means if you get shot, you don't
like. I'm gonna need you to feel, man, I'm gonna need you
to feel. Knock on what somebody passed away. You should be able to
grieve, you should be able to feel. That's what it means to heal
again, to accept wherever you are with it, to accept the pain,
to accept how you feel it so that you can heal. You trapping the
energy. Oh this made me mad. I'm gonna just keep it inside.
Somebody died and just never deal with it, Like, WHOA, that's a
lot to hold on to. Your body is holding onto those feelings. Your
body is holding onto the way that you feel. That's sick. You're killing
yourself. You don't even have to drink poison. You're holding on to how
something made you feel. You cannot internalize shit. You have to let that
shit go. You have to release that toxin. You have to cry it
out, you have to talk it out. Shit. You might have to
get up and walk it out. You gotta let that shit go again.
Here, I am going deep as fuck like but that's but that's how you
have to think about your life. That's how deep you have to get into
your life. That's how deep you have to get into yourself. So yeah,
I'd be a bit much for niggas cool. That means that you're not
doing the work, and I don't want to be with you anyway. I
want somebody that's working on themselves because it's a lot to work on yourself.
So imagine dealing with somebody that's not working on themselves. Nigga, you fucking
up my progress on myself because you no. So yes, I'm gonna leave
y'all with that. Shall enjoy this episode? Um um um, I don't
know. Go click the link in my bio on Instagram and go get your
tickets to the part party Glowing the Dark Yoga Party. It's gonna be lit,
literally lit, but just a reflection of my life, Just just a
reflection of how I'm feeling about myself, glowing and growing. That's the season.
That's the season I'm in. That's the chapter I'm in. I'm gonna
enjoy this. I'm gonna be present in the moment. I'm not missing anything
here. I'm here for the journey. Baby, I'm here for this.
I love this for myself. You deserve this, you are worthy. It's
my motherfucking season, period, So yes, follow me on all platfor forms
that heaven. My homies Blacker experienced all of that. Um yes, that's
all that I have for you, All about