1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:09,599 Understand the thinking atheist. It's not a person, it's a symbol, an 2 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:14,720 idea. The population of atheists this country is going through the rule, rejecting 3 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:19,879 faith, pursuing knowledge, challenging the sacred. If I tell the truth, 4 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:23,960 it's because I tell the truth, not because I put my hand on a 5 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:29,320 book and made a wish and working together for a more rational world. Take 6 00:00:29,399 --> 00:00:33,640 the risk of thinking, feels so much more happiness. Truth Usian wisdom will 7 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:41,320 come to you that way. Assume nothing, question everything, and start thinking. 8 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:57,679 This is the Thinking Atheist podcast hosted by Seth Andrews. It has already 9 00:00:57,759 --> 00:01:03,840 been a day, just one of those days where the morning set the tone 10 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:08,959 for everything else. And I have come to the conclusion that anybody who either 11 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:14,760 is the parent of a child or has an animal in their house as a 12 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:19,799 member of their family a pet, knows what it's like to have one of 13 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:26,920 those days. A day when you wake up and you notice or smell something 14 00:01:26,359 --> 00:01:34,519 horrible, and then you spend who knows how long attending to the stinky end, 15 00:01:34,239 --> 00:01:41,000 the wrong end of your family member. You got to get out the 16 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:46,719 paper towel and the spray bottle or the handy wipes or whatever. I'm trying 17 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,840 not to give you too much detail. I don't want to put you off. 18 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:53,840 I want to attract listeners, not repel them. But I know you 19 00:01:53,000 --> 00:02:00,079 know what I'm talking about. We got Cat about twelve years ago. His 20 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:05,519 name is Cat. We spell it with a K. He's very Persian and 21 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:13,000 he has become a lot more needy and lovey in the last year. I 22 00:02:13,039 --> 00:02:15,280 have no idea what that's about. Used to be, he would be in 23 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:20,080 your zip code. If he was feeling hugely generous, he would lean up 24 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:24,000 against you just a bit, you know, the generosity of the king to 25 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:29,000 allow the jester in his court, in his throne room kind of thing. 26 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,599 But he wasn't a lap cat, and I've always had a lapcat, so 27 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:36,199 it was weird, like why are you so stand offish? Until about a 28 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:40,479 year ago, and all of a sudden, he would start to just jump 29 00:02:40,599 --> 00:02:45,080 up onto my chest. Anytime I lay down on the couch or sat back 30 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:46,840 in the bed or whatever, he would just jump up and he would flatten 31 00:02:46,879 --> 00:02:52,960 out where it was warm, and he would per per like nobody's business, 32 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:54,879 and it was kind of zen. It was really relaxing. We would just 33 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:59,479 hang out there and I'm like, oh, he's a lovey kiddy now right, 34 00:03:00,719 --> 00:03:05,120 And I appreciate that. And I'm so thankful that he was not lying 35 00:03:05,199 --> 00:03:12,120 on my chest last night, because when I woke up and he was sitting 36 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:17,159 on the other side of the bed, he had left a very stinky residue. 37 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:23,319 He is obviously not feeling well. I have a veterinary appointment scheduled for 38 00:03:23,479 --> 00:03:30,159 later. I don't know if he got into some bad food or it's a 39 00:03:30,159 --> 00:03:36,599 bug or something, but I'm really struggling here. But there is some nasty, 40 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,599 nasty. It's nasty, and he is a Persian, so he's got 41 00:03:40,599 --> 00:03:45,240 this long fur. Sometimes we take him in to get it shaped back a 42 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:47,520 little bit because it mats up. He's hard to brush. He panics and 43 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:52,560 freaks out. So you know, he has this long, long fur and 44 00:03:52,639 --> 00:03:55,840 it catches all of the nasty stuff that's coming out of it. And there 45 00:03:55,879 --> 00:03:59,439 it is on the sheets and the bed. This is how he started my 46 00:03:59,639 --> 00:04:09,599 day. Blah and the smell, oh my god, cats like a big 47 00:04:10,919 --> 00:04:18,000 fuzzy septic tank. Natalie's out of town. She had to rush off to 48 00:04:18,079 --> 00:04:25,360 Denver for a business thing. She's gone till tomorrow. So now I'm stuck 49 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:30,759 with this nasty cat, and I'm supposed to get it clean by myself. 50 00:04:32,079 --> 00:04:38,160 Someone on the internet told me of the burrito method. I had not heard 51 00:04:38,199 --> 00:04:43,519 of this, but the burrito The burrito method is where you take your cat 52 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:49,680 and you roll him in a towel like a burrito so that his claws are 53 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:57,240 concealed and you are not going to you know, bleed to death. Which 54 00:04:57,279 --> 00:05:00,279 is a problem because the last time this happened, I got scratched up pretty 55 00:05:00,319 --> 00:05:04,319 good. You know, I looked like I was I've been muled by a 56 00:05:04,399 --> 00:05:09,759 wild beast. And so I am alone this morning, seven o'clock. Grab 57 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:15,079 a towel, grab the cat. I burrito the animal, and then I 58 00:05:15,199 --> 00:05:18,839 spend I don't know how long wrestling him into the sink because I try to 59 00:05:18,879 --> 00:05:24,160 spray him down. The cat's making that sound. Ah, he just feels 60 00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:27,959 like he's dying. It's just horrible. The dogs are freaking out because it's 61 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:32,920 traumatizing. This isn't how they wanted to start their day either. And then 62 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:36,839 I'm going around the house. I'm just cleaning. I'm cleaning all morning. 63 00:05:38,079 --> 00:05:40,639 There's a spot, there's a spot there, it's a spot, there's No, 64 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:46,519 there's no glamour in being the parent of a child or the owner of 65 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:51,920 a pet, because at some point we have all been there. It's not 66 00:05:53,120 --> 00:06:00,759 cuteness and purring and cuddles and fuzz and walks and yips and barks and happiness 67 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:05,079 and joy joy. It is. I am trying not to end up in 68 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:13,680 the urgent care while my burritoed cat sounds like he is being stretched on the 69 00:06:13,759 --> 00:06:18,399 rack during the inquisition. Anyway, we're gonna go to the vet. I 70 00:06:18,439 --> 00:06:21,959 told Natalie on the phone. I said, if they're gonna give him an 71 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,279 injection, I don't even want to be in the zip code. I'm just 72 00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:29,000 gonna get in my car. Look, I'm gonna run down to a drive 73 00:06:29,079 --> 00:06:32,759 through. You know what I'm saying. You have fun with that. That's 74 00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:36,839 what they pay you for. If there's a needle and my cat involved, 75 00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:42,079 I am out. I don't even want to be around for that, because, 76 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:46,040 oh my god, he's gonna flip. He's gonna be so mad. 77 00:06:47,959 --> 00:06:55,439 Speaking of drive throughs, and that's an unintended segue, but it's perfect because 78 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,839 I wanted to tell you this story. I was thinking about it. I 79 00:06:58,959 --> 00:07:01,040 was telling naw To about it. On the phone this morning because it was 80 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:05,959 kind of amazing. It happened last night, and it's something I wanted to 81 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:09,920 share. I don't know, maybe it will inspice. Since I've taken you 82 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:15,839 down that other road with nasty cat ass in it, I wanted to turn 83 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:20,439 things around, maybe give you a smile and a little bit of encouragement, 84 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:24,920 because I had a moment last night. Okay, it was at a drive 85 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:30,279 through. Of all places, there's a little Chinese restaurant pretty close to where 86 00:07:30,399 --> 00:07:33,519 we live. It's been around forever. You've seen them, those little like 87 00:07:33,639 --> 00:07:39,560 egg Roll Garden or China Express type places, the little boxy restaurant with a 88 00:07:39,639 --> 00:07:45,160 drive through, and the menu has everything lettered so in case you can't pronounce 89 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,399 some of the dishes, you just go, well, give me an A 90 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:53,720 one and an R three and a D seven, and everybody knows what you 91 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,920 want. And you cruise through the drive through and they give you everything in 92 00:07:56,959 --> 00:08:00,680 styrofoam containers, and then you drive home to eat it. They may have 93 00:08:00,759 --> 00:08:03,959 a little dining room, this one does. I'm telling you, for twenty 94 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:07,199 years, I've been going to this place, and for twenty years, the 95 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:16,839 same woman has been running the drive through. Obviously she's the owner. I'm 96 00:08:16,879 --> 00:08:20,120 guessing maybe she and her husband, who's the chef or the cook in the 97 00:08:20,199 --> 00:08:24,680 back. But twenty years ago, when I would go through that spot, 98 00:08:24,759 --> 00:08:28,079 the same woman in her fifties at the time, because she's got to be 99 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:33,320 in her mid seventies now still there. So I pull around to the window 100 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:37,399 and she takes my card and she's waiting on the food to be done. 101 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:43,679 I ordered a combo sweet and sour chicken and chow maine with fried rice, 102 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:52,399 thirteen bucks or whatever. And I was watching her through the window, and 103 00:08:52,480 --> 00:09:01,799 I noticed that she wasn't mad, she wasn't happy, she was kind of 104 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:09,799 vacant. I got the impression all of a sudden that she has been doing 105 00:09:09,919 --> 00:09:16,279 what she does for so long that I'll bet she doesn't even feel it anymore. 106 00:09:18,799 --> 00:09:22,799 Hello, Can I take your order? A three R one D seven 107 00:09:22,919 --> 00:09:28,799 Thank you, pularun thirteen dollars eighty cents. Thank you, have a good 108 00:09:28,919 --> 00:09:33,440 day. Over and over and over and over. She looked world weary, 109 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:39,120 she looked worn down. Who knows, maybe she and her husband put every 110 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:43,399 penny they had into this humble little restaurant. It's all they have it's all 111 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:48,360 they do. It seems like they're always there. She's always there, and 112 00:09:48,399 --> 00:09:52,720 I was watching her, and I thought, I don't see any joy on 113 00:09:52,799 --> 00:10:00,480 this woman. I see duty, I see work ethic. I see bills 114 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:03,639 to pay. I see there may not be anybody else to do it, 115 00:10:03,759 --> 00:10:09,080 or I can't afford to pay anybody else to do it. I just see 116 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:15,039 a routine and so on a whim. And this sounds noble when I say 117 00:10:15,039 --> 00:10:16,200 it out loud, but it really wasn't. It was just an idea. 118 00:10:16,919 --> 00:10:20,759 I reached down and grab my wallet, and I happen to have a twenty 119 00:10:20,799 --> 00:10:24,120 dollar bill, which is weird because usually I don't even have cash anymore. 120 00:10:24,159 --> 00:10:26,799 It's all plastic debit cards and such. But there it was a twenty dollar 121 00:10:26,879 --> 00:10:30,879 bill. So I pulled it out, and I was waiting. She's inside 122 00:10:30,879 --> 00:10:33,240 the glass and she's waiting for the order to be done, and then she 123 00:10:33,279 --> 00:10:37,399 puts it in the plastic bag and she ties it up, and she opens 124 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:41,000 the window gives it to me, thank you, have a good day. 125 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:46,200 Barely looking at me. She is giving her five hundred thousandth order through that 126 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:52,919 piece of glass, probably aching to go home and rest her feet and so 127 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:58,679 I took the food and I looked at her and I said, you are 128 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:07,679 always worse king and she paused. She was startled, really like I was 129 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:11,000 talking to her. I wasn't looking at the order taker. I was talking 130 00:11:11,039 --> 00:11:16,720 to her the person, and she was stunned. She didn't say anything. 131 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:22,080 I said, you are always here all the time. Yeah, yes, 132 00:11:22,159 --> 00:11:26,519 I'm here. I'm here very often. I'm very here all the time, 133 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:30,720 you know. And I said, do you ever get a day off? 134 00:11:31,279 --> 00:11:35,240 Well? No, yeah, sometimes, you know, the English is kind 135 00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:39,559 of broken a little bit, but she's communicating, yeah, you know, 136 00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:43,639 sometimes I get a night off, day off, you know, occasionally. 137 00:11:45,039 --> 00:11:50,039 But you could tell that she was a workaholic, probably by necessity. And 138 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:56,919 so I reached over and I grabbed my twenty and I handed it to her 139 00:11:56,960 --> 00:12:01,200 through the window, and she took it before she really what was going on, 140 00:12:01,279 --> 00:12:03,639 Like she knew I was giving her something, but she just like, 141 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:07,440 what is this? And then she realized a twenty dollar bill. This is 142 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:11,080 more than the order. She's like no, no, no, no, 143 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,919 no no no no no too much, too much? No, I said, 144 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,879 no, I want you to take that. I won't take it. 145 00:12:16,919 --> 00:12:18,600 I won't take it too much money, too much money. Thank you. 146 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:22,279 Though no no, no, I won't take it. I insist you take 147 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:26,279 it. And then I said this over and over because I didn't think she 148 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:31,120 could argue with this. I said, it makes me happy. It makes 149 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,879 me happy. It makes me happy, It makes me happy. And I'm 150 00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:39,960 smiling at her. She was sitting there with the open drive through window, 151 00:12:41,519 --> 00:12:46,159 holding a twenty dollar bill she doesn't know what to do with. And this 152 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:54,679 woman broke out into the biggest smile you have ever seen. She was no 153 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:58,600 longer punching the clock. She was no longer just an order taker at that 154 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:05,759 moment. And somebody saw her and she just exploded in a smile. You 155 00:13:05,799 --> 00:13:11,000 should have seen her. She lit up like a freaking Christmas tree. It 156 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:15,440 was like she came to life, like the dead had arisen, you know. 157 00:13:16,759 --> 00:13:20,559 And so I started to drive off because I was afraid she was going 158 00:13:20,639 --> 00:13:26,200 to like throw the twenty back in my open window, but I waved up. 159 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,600 Makes me happy, thank you, makes me happy to have a good 160 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:31,200 day, have a good day. So I'm cruising off and she's smiling, 161 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:35,000 thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, and I am 162 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:39,480 I must have been ten twelve fifteen feet from the window. My car window 163 00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:43,799 is still down. I can see her. She sticks her whole torso out 164 00:13:43,879 --> 00:13:50,440 the drive through window and goes, thank you for the tip. And I 165 00:13:50,519 --> 00:13:54,080 stuck my head out the window and looked back and I said, you're welcome. 166 00:13:56,519 --> 00:14:00,840 And I drove off and I was just grinning all way home. I 167 00:14:00,879 --> 00:14:05,759 told Natalie about it, and she thought it was charming as well. And 168 00:14:05,799 --> 00:14:11,000 I know it sounds like a lifetime movie. But you've heard me on this 169 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:18,159 show talk about fighting despair, trying to seek out and find the good, 170 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:22,519 to reignite the good in my own life because life's short. I need good. 171 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:28,200 I need good, and I've become desperate to see us try to engage 172 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:35,360 other people without so many disqualifiers. That woman, I don't even know her 173 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:39,360 name. I don't know if she goes to church. Is she religious? 174 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:46,039 Maybe what kind of religion? I have no idea. I doubt it's Baptist. 175 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:50,240 Yeah, maybe she and her husband practice a kind of Eastern religion or 176 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:54,720 a Buddhist faith. Who knows, but it didn't matter in the moment. 177 00:14:56,639 --> 00:15:00,440 What are your interests, Where do you live, what kind of what home 178 00:15:00,519 --> 00:15:03,840 do you have? What is your background? All of those things might be 179 00:15:03,919 --> 00:15:07,879 relevant in some context, but at that second in time, it was just 180 00:15:07,919 --> 00:15:15,120 about two human beings grinning at each other like idiots. It was about a 181 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:20,120 small kindness which wasn't small at all. There are no little things right. 182 00:15:22,559 --> 00:15:28,799 Every day presents that kind of opportunity. Somebody's walking into a building, They're 183 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:33,639 fifteen feet away. For some reason, we open the door and then we 184 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:37,440 just wait for them. We hold it. It's not like they can't open 185 00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:41,240 the door for themselves, but this is our way of saying, hey, 186 00:15:41,279 --> 00:15:46,799 come on, I got your door for you, no problem. You're walking 187 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:52,000 somewhere and you see two or three people who are attempting to take a selfie, 188 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:56,240 but they're struggling because somebody's arm isn't long enough and they can't get all 189 00:15:56,279 --> 00:16:00,159 three faces on screen. So what do you do? You walk up and 190 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:03,639 you go, hey, you guys want your picture? I got that. 191 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:07,360 Hey, stand over here because the light's better. Oh you look great? 192 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:11,679 Okay. Do you want it vertical or do you want it horizontal? Okay? 193 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:15,000 Wonderful? All right here we go. Everybody three to one snap. 194 00:16:15,679 --> 00:16:19,279 Let me take another one, three to one snap. Okay, check them, 195 00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:22,120 make sure that I got what you want. You happy, and everybody 196 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:26,039 smiles. Thank you, thank you, thank you. That is not a 197 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:30,639 small thing. You have no idea who those people are, but you did 198 00:16:30,679 --> 00:16:36,679 something amazing for them, and you help them preserve a second in time and 199 00:16:36,799 --> 00:16:42,399 make it forever. Somebody's got car trouble, you pull over and say, 200 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:47,320 can I give you a hand? I'm lousy at this because I know nothing 201 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:52,519 about cars. And you got to be careful because people have to be concerned, 202 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:57,679 legitimately concerned about who is coming to quote unquote help them. But you 203 00:16:57,759 --> 00:17:04,480 get it right. Usually almost always it's someone genuinely trying to assist, and 204 00:17:04,519 --> 00:17:11,279 that's a beautiful thing. We've got a neighbor across the street. She is 205 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:15,279 of the Jewish faith. She's also one of the best people we know and 206 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:21,240 a wonderful woman. She's got a garden in her backyard. She loves gardening, 207 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:26,039 and at random she just shows up at the door with stuff. Hey, 208 00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,960 I've got extra basil in the back. I know you guys like that. 209 00:17:30,039 --> 00:17:33,079 The tomato crop came in really well, here's a bunch of tomatoes. 210 00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:36,559 I put them in a sack for you. Just take them. Enjoy. 211 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:41,720 We're always checking on each other when we travel? Can you get the box 212 00:17:41,759 --> 00:17:45,240 off my porch? Would you check my mail? Somebody needs to get into 213 00:17:45,279 --> 00:17:48,319 the backyard. Can you let him in? Can you do that? Hey? 214 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:51,759 While I'm gone, If you see a big moving truck back up, 215 00:17:52,079 --> 00:17:56,640 would you call me right? Well, that's a small thing. That's not 216 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,559 a small thing. It's just people looking out for each other. And who 217 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:03,640 gives a shit? Where they go to church? You take hot chocolate? 218 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:08,200 How to the mailman on a chilly December day? What do you do on 219 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:12,160 a rainy day? You see somebody who doesn't have an umbrella, and you 220 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:18,599 do. It's obvious they're desperately trying not to get too wet. You run 221 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,799 over, stick the umbrella up, or you give it to them, and 222 00:18:22,839 --> 00:18:27,119 then you take the hit and you walk in the door soaking wet. Why 223 00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:34,599 not? What's that cost you? You're stuck in traffic, checking your watch, 224 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:40,160 stressed out because you're probably going to be late to wherever you were supposed 225 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:45,079 to be ten minutes ago. And you see somebody else who is stuck in 226 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:49,000 traffic checking their watch, maybe running late to wherever they need to be, 227 00:18:49,039 --> 00:18:53,400 And what do you do? The light turns green? Everybody else goes there's 228 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:59,440 a space in front of you, and you stay stopped and wave go ahead, 229 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:03,000 hop in there. I'll make a spot for you. Go ahead, 230 00:19:03,039 --> 00:19:08,359 get where you gotta go. We don't do that for the assholes that drive 231 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:12,200 up on the shoulder and then purposefully try to wage in front of us. 232 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:17,160 We have to teach those people a lesson. They get no quarter. But 233 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:21,759 everybody else, we're all in the same boat. We're driving the same road. 234 00:19:22,079 --> 00:19:26,440 Here's a space. Take it. Have a good day. You buy 235 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:30,799 some Starbucks on your way into the office, and you remember that your coworker 236 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:37,200 loves a machiato. So what do you do. You buy a machiato and 237 00:19:37,279 --> 00:19:38,519 you show up and put it in front of him and say, hey, 238 00:19:38,519 --> 00:19:45,079 I got this for you. Have a good one. I had a coworker 239 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:49,839 once and he had a note on his desk and it said, make someone 240 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:57,480 feel important today. I know it sounds sacherin, but make someone feel important 241 00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:03,599 today. At least make them feel seen and noticed today. I don't know. 242 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:08,519 I has almost nothing to do with anything else that's going on, But 243 00:20:08,559 --> 00:20:11,799 how can I not tell you that story about the woman in the drive through 244 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:18,400 who may still today be thinking about that guy, total stranger who saw her 245 00:20:18,559 --> 00:20:23,400 for just a few seconds. Maybe it's the breath of oxygen she needed that'll 246 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:27,200 carry her on for another another few weeks. I mean, I don't know. 247 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:33,400 Maybe that's a rather noble accounting. Maybe I'm giving myself too much credit. 248 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:38,000 But go out and make somebody feel important today, make him feel seen 249 00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:45,720 today. Okay, wash an angry cat's ass today. Actually that's not a 250 00:20:45,759 --> 00:20:52,799 small thing. That would be a that's a herculean effort and quite dangerous. 251 00:20:52,039 --> 00:20:56,279 Maybe that's a bad example. I don't know. Let me take a short 252 00:20:56,279 --> 00:21:02,400 break and we'll come back and see what you want to talk about in just 253 00:21:02,519 --> 00:21:15,480 a second. Oh my goodness, my speaking roster and the tour schedule has 254 00:21:15,519 --> 00:21:19,920 gotten busy. Kansas City on April the seventh, Sunday morning, Kansas City, 255 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:25,279 I hope you can join us. Coming up also Los Angeles, Little 256 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:29,960 Rock, Arkansas, Denver, Colorado, Saint Louis, Missouri, Dallas, 257 00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:37,039 Houston, Sarnia, Ontario, Toronto, Lexington, Bentonville. And I think 258 00:21:37,039 --> 00:21:41,119 there may be another city or two that's being added. It's all a blur. 259 00:21:41,839 --> 00:21:45,400 I have to go to my own website to remember where I'm going and 260 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:52,640 you can too, Seth Andrews dot com slash events. I would love to 261 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:56,880 see you at one of these speaking events that I'm doing all around the country 262 00:21:56,960 --> 00:22:03,960 and north of our border. Seven one nine, Matt, thanks for calling. 263 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,880 What's on your mind? Well, I have a conundrum that I've been 264 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:11,839 thinking about and applied your advice. I'm join the army next month, I 265 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:17,079 should vow, and I'm debating what to do on Sundays. One day I'll 266 00:22:17,079 --> 00:22:19,440 have off of basic training. You know, I have a you'll be clean, 267 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:22,519 you clean the barracks. I hear understand only that day, but you 268 00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:26,319 can go to service. You can go to service and get a break time 269 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:30,359 basically from cleaning. I'm just wondering if it's worth having time off of cleaning 270 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:34,480 or should I not worry about it and stake more srure to my principles. 271 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,039 Could it be the first time of me going to church in over a decade. 272 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:41,400 Let's make sure I'm understanding. They will give you time off if you 273 00:22:41,559 --> 00:22:48,559 go to religious service to go and sit, But if you opt out of 274 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:52,599 church, then you're doing what you're cleaning toilets. Well, you have to 275 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:56,319 clean the barracks. You know he cleans clean and all that. Certainly everyone 276 00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:59,640 has to do anyway, but just people who have a service to go to 277 00:22:59,799 --> 00:23:03,400 they can. They have a list of options from I understand. I think 278 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:06,200 it don't mind you go and even just sleep in the back a little bit, 279 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,160 as long as you're you know, quiet and whatnot. I just don't 280 00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:12,559 know if I want to break a principle by going to church. I can't 281 00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:17,440 tell you whether or not to go. I'm not convinced it's a betrayal of 282 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:22,000 your conviction, unless your conviction is to never step in the building. If 283 00:23:22,079 --> 00:23:26,319 you want to use them, fine, I'll go in there. I'll sit 284 00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:29,359 in the back, I'll sit on my phone, I'll take a nap, 285 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:33,599 I'll do whatever. I think you have every right to do that if you 286 00:23:33,839 --> 00:23:37,440 decide you want to. It doesn't mean that you are endorsing the religion. 287 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:41,440 I think it just means you know how to work the system. But if 288 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:45,359 it's a matter of conviction, that's certainly an internal conversation that only you can 289 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:49,400 have with yourself. I mean, if it was a choice between hanging back 290 00:23:49,759 --> 00:23:52,720 relaxing, I can tune out a preacher with the best of them. I 291 00:23:52,759 --> 00:23:57,440 think most of us have probably developed that skill, and it was either that 292 00:23:57,559 --> 00:24:02,599 or going out and you know, scratching floors and washing walls and cleaning toilets. 293 00:24:03,039 --> 00:24:07,759 And I felt like maybe the people who got the church option were being 294 00:24:07,799 --> 00:24:11,599 shown favoritism. I might work that system. I might sneak in the back 295 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:15,319 and say, fine, I'll hang out and do my thing, but I 296 00:24:15,319 --> 00:24:19,759 would never consider it an endorsement of the religion. And then I think, 297 00:24:19,799 --> 00:24:26,680 in my off hours, I would probably file some kind of complaints that religious 298 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:33,839 services were being given preferential treatment. Why do we not have a secular option 299 00:24:33,599 --> 00:24:37,640 available to the non religious? I would certainly make that protest. Only you 300 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:41,680 can decide if you want to stir the waters, you know, politically, 301 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,599 if it's worth it to you. But that's my two cents. Well, 302 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,400 I appreciate it, Seth, Thank you very much, thanks for calling. 303 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:49,599 Catch you later, yeap. What would you do? Would you go? 304 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:53,039 Would you sit in the back. You don't have to say the prayer, 305 00:24:53,039 --> 00:24:56,720 don't have to close your eyes, don't have to even listen to what's being 306 00:24:56,759 --> 00:25:00,720 said. You might even make it a forensic experiment listening to all the crap 307 00:25:00,839 --> 00:25:03,720 that's being told or taught or not being told or taught, and you're like, 308 00:25:03,839 --> 00:25:07,880 hmm, that's interesting. So that's what they're doing. But there's no 309 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:11,839 doubt in my mind I would be saying, hey, wait a minute, 310 00:25:11,079 --> 00:25:17,480 is there a humanist gathering? Is there a secular assembly, a place for 311 00:25:17,559 --> 00:25:22,680 people who were not religious to go and hang out and maybe learn science and 312 00:25:22,799 --> 00:25:27,160 just do people stuff. Because this is a double standard if you aren't going 313 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:33,039 to do something for all of us, only for the religious, likely for 314 00:25:33,759 --> 00:25:40,039 Christians. Two five three, Dan, are you with me? Yes, 315 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:41,680 as youre am. Thanks for calling, Dan. What do you want to 316 00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:45,240 talk about? Well, there was a passage in the Bible. Well, 317 00:25:45,279 --> 00:25:48,039 now, I'm an atheist, and the only reason I like to look these 318 00:25:48,079 --> 00:25:52,480 things up is so I have ammunition against my sister who belongs to one of 319 00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:56,240 those megachurches, and I know things that she doesn't and it really makes her 320 00:25:56,319 --> 00:26:03,000 mad. But there's a passage where God is admonished by the other gods for 321 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:08,119 punishing the Jews too bad at one time, or punishing somebody too hard. 322 00:26:10,319 --> 00:26:12,799 I don't know that verse. Where is it. I think it was. 323 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:18,119 I think it's Ezekiel nineteen or seventeen, something like that. But I can 324 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:22,680 never discipline myself hard enough to actually keep reading the Bible to find it. 325 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:30,799 The equivalent of Zeus and Krishna and the flying spaghetti monster calling yahweh out for 326 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:37,200 being a jerk to his own chosen people exactly. But I can't find anymore. 327 00:26:37,759 --> 00:26:38,759 Well, let's see what our people come up with. Put it in 328 00:26:38,839 --> 00:26:42,880 the comments section. I'd like to go back. Could I tell you something 329 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:47,640 else I like to do. Yeah, whenever Mormons come to the door, 330 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:51,759 I like to invite him in, because actually Mormons are nice people. And 331 00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:55,839 I bring out my Book of Mormon, and I show them where the first 332 00:26:55,920 --> 00:27:00,880 day where the Angel came to Joseph Smith was September twenty first, and I 333 00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:06,039 tell them how when Earth went in fire wrote that song September. They put 334 00:27:06,079 --> 00:27:10,079 September twenty first as the date. I say that was because it came out 335 00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:15,119 shortly after black people were allowed to be priests. The Mormons let them be 336 00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:18,839 priests, and that was celebration of that. And these Mormon boys, they're 337 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:22,200 just well what and they just can't believe it. I would hate to do 338 00:27:22,279 --> 00:27:26,799 what they do. They have this expectation that they have to do their mission 339 00:27:26,559 --> 00:27:30,759 banging on doors intruding into people's homes. Who knows how much shit they get. 340 00:27:30,799 --> 00:27:33,400 But at the same time they have to deal with us. We know 341 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:38,240 often much more about their religion than they do. But it's nice that you're 342 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,480 kind to them, Like you don't beat them over the head of the baseball 343 00:27:41,519 --> 00:27:45,920 bat, right You're you're a human being to them. No, And even 344 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,440 when I tell them that, I tell them, you know, it's just 345 00:27:48,519 --> 00:27:51,799 my opinion, and I do treat them good. I actually haven't signed my 346 00:27:51,839 --> 00:27:59,400 Book of Mormon and do and I got about fifteen or eighteen names in there 347 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:03,480 something like that. But they're actually good kids, you know. And it's 348 00:28:03,519 --> 00:28:06,319 like I heard one of the people say on I think it was one of 349 00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:10,880 your shows, how when you're a baby and your parents raise you, you 350 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:15,599 believe everything they say. And then when they in doctrine you into religion, 351 00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,960 of course you believe that because they've been protecting you your whole life. They 352 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:22,200 would never lie to you. And that's how it all happens, you know, 353 00:28:22,279 --> 00:28:26,519 from the bottom up. Mostly I appreciate your kindness. Not everybody has 354 00:28:26,559 --> 00:28:30,079 the bandwidth to be able to open their door and have a conversation, but 355 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:33,359 the fact that you didn't say fuck you, get off my porch, which 356 00:28:33,519 --> 00:28:38,920 is tempting given that our homes are our castles in private spaces. The fact 357 00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:42,400 that you didn't do that may have given them the impression that, hey, 358 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:47,400 here's a non believer who's actually kind and good and gracious and human. I 359 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:49,680 admire that and respect it. Thanks for sharing it, brother, and have 360 00:28:49,759 --> 00:28:52,640 a good week. Okay, really good to talk to you all right, 361 00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:57,079 hang in there, We'll see you later. Two eight one. I've got 362 00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:02,200 John. Thanks for calling? What John? Hi, Seth. It's good 363 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:06,640 to talk to you again. How long has it been, Oh, just 364 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:08,880 a few weeks. I called for the first time a few weeks ago just 365 00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:12,000 to thank you for everything that you do. But this time I really want 366 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:18,160 to talk about how it really grinds my gears and makes me really angry whenever 367 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,839 theists think that just because I don't believe in God, they think that I 368 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:23,839 have no morals, that I have nothing to base my morals off of, 369 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:30,039 and it just really pisses me off sometimes. How do you respond that my 370 00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:33,720 morality comes from empathy and from common sense, which basically means that which I 371 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:38,200 wouldn't want done to me, I would not do to others. Like the 372 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:41,400 other day, I was talking to somebody who was a Christian and he told 373 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:44,880 me, well, since you're an atheist, you must be okay with people 374 00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:48,680 trafficking children. I'm just like, no, I wouldn't want others to do 375 00:29:48,759 --> 00:29:51,599 to me what I wouldn't do to others. I wouldn't want my own children 376 00:29:51,599 --> 00:29:56,039 to be trafficked, so I wouldn't want my I wouldn't traffic anybody else's. 377 00:29:56,839 --> 00:30:00,599 And even then I even tell people, well, you really we should read 378 00:30:00,599 --> 00:30:03,079 your Bible, and I say read and not reread, because I can tell 379 00:30:03,119 --> 00:30:07,400 you that you haven't read it. Because in passages like Numbers twenty five, 380 00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:11,640 God told the Israelites to kill many men, well all of them, and 381 00:30:11,759 --> 00:30:15,759 actually all of the non virgin women, boys and infant boys, and to 382 00:30:15,839 --> 00:30:21,960 only spare virgin girls. And the entire Book of Joshua, there is so 383 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:26,440 much genocide, and God is even okay with slavery if you look at Leviticus 384 00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:32,400 twenty five and Exodus twenty one, like this is disgusting, and supposedly from 385 00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:36,839 Christians, this is divine morality, and I just don't understand how they can 386 00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:40,920 defend things like this. I think the reasons may be as diverse as the 387 00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:45,960 people themselves. I think some simply have been brainwashed to think no one can 388 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:48,680 be moral without God. I think other people want to shoot the messenger when 389 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:53,880 we come and criticize their religion. So hey, why not say we would 390 00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:59,319 support Hitler, you know, or we would go out and rape and kill 391 00:30:59,359 --> 00:31:03,039 if it wasn't for their God. I think a lot of people use it 392 00:31:03,119 --> 00:31:07,440 to stop conversation. I mean, it's an accusation really when you hear it 393 00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:11,000 in that way, well, how do you know rape and murder are wrong? 394 00:31:11,319 --> 00:31:17,359 Is really an accusation that an atheist doesn't know rape and murder are wrong, 395 00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:19,880 which is an offensive thing to say in that way. I understand your 396 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:25,440 frustration. Oh yeah, it's very frustrating. I agree. And all the 397 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:27,799 time a lot of theists will tell me, well, you know Hitler was 398 00:31:27,799 --> 00:31:30,640 an atheist. No, he wasn't. He was a Christian. He was 399 00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:34,960 a Catholic, and in fact he hated the Jews for religious reasons. He 400 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:40,839 also referenced the Christian God in mind comp and had God with us on the 401 00:31:40,839 --> 00:31:45,039 belt buckles of SS officers. There have been a lot, and there's been 402 00:31:45,039 --> 00:31:48,200 books. There's a lot of ink been spilled on Hitler, and then we 403 00:31:48,319 --> 00:31:52,079 find them saying, well, Hitler was smart enough to have weaponized the religion. 404 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:56,960 He's an atheist, but he knew politically aligning with the Catholic Church and 405 00:31:57,079 --> 00:32:04,200 invoking the Christian God would buy him political and even popular capital. So he 406 00:32:04,279 --> 00:32:08,160 didn't really mean it when it's a total skate and it's frustrating to hear. 407 00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:14,759 But I think many people share your frustration. I celebrate you as a moral 408 00:32:14,839 --> 00:32:20,039 creature, and your evolved morality is helping to make a difference in this world. 409 00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:22,559 You are one of the good ones, or at least that's my hope. 410 00:32:22,599 --> 00:32:24,839 Brother, So thanks for calling the show. Thanks for taking my call. 411 00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:30,240 See you later. He said something that I wanted to come back to, 412 00:32:30,799 --> 00:32:36,079 and he used the word common sense. I used to think, oh, 413 00:32:36,119 --> 00:32:37,839 good, common sense, and then we would always say, well, 414 00:32:37,839 --> 00:32:42,680 common sense isn't common at all. But I used to use the words to 415 00:32:42,759 --> 00:32:49,759 the phrase common sense, as we all need this. But psychologists have addressed 416 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:54,519 the idea of common sense and how it may not necessarily be a good thing. 417 00:32:55,200 --> 00:33:00,440 So I took the liberty of pulling up an article from Psychology Today called 418 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:06,400 the problem with common sense, And I'm scrolling down to a paragraph and it 419 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:13,359 says common sense is common because many people are perceived to believe it. The 420 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:17,640 problem is that doesn't make it true. Looks like a duck walks like a 421 00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:23,680 duck is common sense? But consider looks like a gator walks like a gator? 422 00:33:23,759 --> 00:33:30,599 Will lots of people confuse alligators and crocodiles. Why do so many people 423 00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:36,640 misspell, lose and loose? Why do so many people say literally when they 424 00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:42,759 mean figuratively? Common isn't a good enough criterion to make something true? And 425 00:33:42,799 --> 00:33:45,160 so again I don't think we want to be pedantic here. I understand the 426 00:33:45,279 --> 00:33:52,799 larger point, right, engage brain, use your rationality, vet your sources, 427 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:55,759 find out what is true. But common sense. I had to evolve 428 00:33:55,839 --> 00:34:00,319 my own thinking on this, and I still sort of navigate that when I 429 00:34:00,359 --> 00:34:04,440 talk about common sense and the calliquial sense. I think people understand what I 430 00:34:04,559 --> 00:34:09,159 mean, But common sense, you know, there's more to it from a 431 00:34:09,199 --> 00:34:14,960 psychology standpoint, and so we might guard our language whenever we use that in 432 00:34:15,119 --> 00:34:20,119 conversation. I've got two one eight, Hi, what's your name? Nat? 433 00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:23,239 Like the bug only minus the g Thanks for calling that what's on your 434 00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:29,639 mind? Well, I was just calling to talk about the whole thing about 435 00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:36,280 Next Benedict, that poor trans kid that died recently after getting jumped in the 436 00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:42,599 bathroom. I am kind of like a gentle giant, and I've been picked 437 00:34:42,639 --> 00:34:45,599 on a lot and dealt with a lot of crap. And the people who 438 00:34:45,679 --> 00:34:52,039 treated me decent looked a lot more like Next Benedict, and the people who 439 00:34:52,119 --> 00:34:55,039 treated me like crap. If you will allow me quickly, there are some 440 00:34:55,119 --> 00:34:59,880 people who are listening to you and me and they hear Next Benedict, and 441 00:34:59,880 --> 00:35:02,920 they don't know what we're talking about. So can I frame it quickly before 442 00:35:04,119 --> 00:35:07,280 we go any further? Would that be going? Yeah, okay, go 443 00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:12,320 ahead. Next ben Atitt was a student actually in my relative zip code in 444 00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:16,760 the suburb of Tulsa, a non binary student at o Wasso High School. 445 00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:23,239 And there was a confrontation, bullied bullying. Next was bullied by some people 446 00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:30,599 who assaulted and beat Next in a bathroom. That assault resulted in cuts and 447 00:35:30,679 --> 00:35:34,559 bruises and ended up in the hospital. I mean, this was just hate 448 00:35:34,639 --> 00:35:38,119 and bigotry and smallness, and it's one of those things where we've got people 449 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:43,320 like our Superintendent of Public Instruction, even our governor, and they're going off 450 00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:46,719 on the woke and the woke ism, and so people like Next have been 451 00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:52,320 vilified in that way. So Next goes to the hospital with these injuries and 452 00:35:52,440 --> 00:36:00,760 dies the next day, and everybody said, oh, you know was beaten 453 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:05,639 to death, which was I think a reasonable assumption given what had happened the 454 00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:10,679 assault itself. There was just an autopsy report released. The manner of death 455 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:20,440 ruled as suicide, the probable cause of death being diaphenhydramine and fluexitine combining toxicity, 456 00:36:20,519 --> 00:36:25,960 according to the Oklahoma Medical Examiner's Office. So the thinking is is that, 457 00:36:27,079 --> 00:36:31,239 yeah, there were physical injuries, but the chemicals in the body actually 458 00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:36,719 explain the death more than the cuts and bruises. Now this is a challenge, 459 00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:39,119 right because this is a hot button issue. You and I are pissed 460 00:36:39,159 --> 00:36:43,719 off about the hate, about the assault, about the lack of safety, 461 00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:47,960 the danger to trans people, non binary people. It's our fellow human beings. 462 00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:52,719 And so my first inclination is to say, well, that's a bunch 463 00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:57,000 of bullshit. Oklahoma's covering its tracks. We know Next was beaten to death, 464 00:36:57,599 --> 00:37:01,480 but I don't believe that is actually true, and I've had to will 465 00:37:01,599 --> 00:37:07,239 myself past this sort of you know, knee jerk into screw this state because 466 00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:15,719 Ryan Walters makes me crazy and understand that chemically, it looks like the substances 467 00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:22,280 in Nexx's blood were responsible for the death itself. But that then becomes a 468 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:25,639 separate issue because we're still talking about the assault in the bathroom at a high 469 00:37:25,679 --> 00:37:30,920 school where Necks was supposed to be safe, and the lack of outrage by 470 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:37,639 an entire culture of Oklahomans and Americans means that it might be less safe for 471 00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:40,599 the next person who goes in there. It's just so madening. So anyway, 472 00:37:40,639 --> 00:37:46,599 that's the context, and you are understandably outraged. Yeah, I have 473 00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:52,519 quite a few friends in the trans community, in the GLBT community. They 474 00:37:52,559 --> 00:37:59,199 have treated me with nothing but respect and kindness. And the people that I 475 00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:06,679 hear having the most problems with the trans community and all that tend to be 476 00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:12,039 the ones that have really, in my experience, have been the real douche 477 00:38:12,079 --> 00:38:15,480 nozzles, the ones that have treated me like shit, like I was something 478 00:38:15,519 --> 00:38:22,960 foul they stepped in. And the whole idea of everything that people are saying 479 00:38:23,159 --> 00:38:30,119 about the trans community is utter horseshit. Take the whole bathroom saying how they 480 00:38:30,119 --> 00:38:36,360 were worried about dudes pretending to be trans just so they can get into a 481 00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:42,000 woman's restroom and do that shit. They're worried about trans people doing stuff to 482 00:38:42,079 --> 00:38:46,800 kids. If we want to see grooming, I've seen two headlines just in 483 00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:53,719 the month of March about pastors convicted youth pastors are regular pastors who were grooming 484 00:38:53,800 --> 00:39:01,199 kids sexually assaulting the kids. So our outrage is under standable. And mostly 485 00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:07,320 you and I are confronted by small people who wants everybody else to look like 486 00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:09,840 them and sound like them, and vote like them, and worship like them. 487 00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:15,960 And I think they're tremendously insecure. I think the secure person looks around 488 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:20,239 and says, Wow, what a wide, wild spectrum of humanity, and 489 00:39:20,239 --> 00:39:22,000 we all get a chance to share the world together. I mean, that's 490 00:39:22,039 --> 00:39:24,880 a much more beautiful place to be. And I think, you know, 491 00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:29,079 the ugly heart just doesn't get there, doesn't want to get there, And 492 00:39:29,159 --> 00:39:32,199 so your outrage is understandable. And the best we can do, I think, 493 00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:37,440 is to advocate for the next benedicts that are still with us. And 494 00:39:37,559 --> 00:39:40,199 I appreciate your call very much. You hang in there. Okay, well 495 00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:47,519 see bye bye, one more short break. I'll be right back and we'll 496 00:39:47,559 --> 00:39:59,000 go to the phones again next. Thank you so much for listening and thanks 497 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,280 for your support. You want the broadcast totally commercial free, and you want 498 00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:08,159 to get it a couple of days early. Become a patron Patreon dot com 499 00:40:08,159 --> 00:40:14,320 slash seth Andrews really matters makes a difference. Thank you for your support. 500 00:40:15,559 --> 00:40:20,239 Is it Jose at nine to five one? Thanks for calling? What do 501 00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:22,400 you want to talk about? So? I'm a lot like you, Like 502 00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:28,360 I grew up very Catholic, you know, Monday Bible Study, Tuesday youth 503 00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:32,320 group, Wednesday choir practice. Then the weekend was all church, going to 504 00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:37,440 Mass and all that kind of jazz. So eventually I'm forty one years old 505 00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:40,880 now. But when I turned thirty five, I really the bug hit me 506 00:40:42,039 --> 00:40:44,920 to start, you know, really questioning what I believe in and why I 507 00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:49,280 believe in and all that kind of stuff. And I came to the conclusion 508 00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:52,519 that I'm an atheist because I found that I have no real good reason to 509 00:40:52,519 --> 00:40:59,480 believe any of it. However, I've always struggled with my family because my 510 00:40:59,599 --> 00:41:04,360 dad's a deacon in the Catholic Church. So how do I deal with that 511 00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:10,239 kind of clash of lifestyles where I pretty much live a completely secular lifestyle, 512 00:41:10,519 --> 00:41:14,880 whereas you know, I don't deal with any religion stuff. But every time 513 00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:19,440 I go visit family, I'm sort of bombarded with, oh, well, 514 00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:22,239 when are we gonna go to church? When are you gonna have a little 515 00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:23,760 boy? You know, when now you're gonna go get them baptized. I 516 00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:28,000 hate living like that. I've never come out to them and told them like, 517 00:41:28,039 --> 00:41:30,320 look, I'm not I'm an atheist. I don't believe because I feel 518 00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:35,119 like it's gonna crush them to their core. You know what I'm saying. 519 00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:39,119 I know exactly what you're saying. So they're not onto you, or maybe 520 00:41:39,119 --> 00:41:45,480 they suspect we've had talks. I'm sure they suspect. My dad has always 521 00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:49,920 you know, anytime that we have those kind of conversations, he's always just 522 00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:52,920 like, well, you know, look for Jesus and look in the Bible, 523 00:41:52,039 --> 00:41:55,400 go study, go seek them out, and then you'll give your answers. 524 00:41:55,599 --> 00:42:00,920 But I've never found a good answer for anything. I am always grieved 525 00:42:01,199 --> 00:42:07,360 when I see people who. They're not living a fully authentic life around everybody 526 00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:13,360 because of that kind of blowback, which is not your fault. It's your 527 00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:16,880 father's fault, even if he means it from the most sincere of ways. 528 00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:21,960 The fact that you are worried about whether or not he's going to melt down 529 00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:25,800 and cry and shout and be disappointed, and it's going to just ruin your 530 00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:32,440 relationship. That problem is a dad problem. It is not a jose problem. 531 00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:38,199 Your dad would never abide somebody telling him that he could not live authentically. 532 00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:40,639 He's like, I'm going to live my faith. I'm going to be 533 00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:44,679 my this is who I am. Who's going to tell me I can't be 534 00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:50,079 me? Then his son is over here literally wringing his hands, going, 535 00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:53,400 God, if I say something to Dad, the shit's going to hit the 536 00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:57,559 fan. How much of this grief do I need? Is that what I'm 537 00:42:57,599 --> 00:43:01,519 hearing from you? Yeah, well, my dad, I'm sure my dad 538 00:43:01,599 --> 00:43:05,800 could deal with it a little bit better. My mom, I feel like 539 00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:09,480 she's going to be the one that really I feel like her world will collapse 540 00:43:09,639 --> 00:43:15,800 if she hears me say those words. Only you can decide if coming out 541 00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:20,800 to them is the right move. For you. My one thing that I 542 00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:23,840 would say, and it cost me. My mother and I do not speak. 543 00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:28,880 She is blocked on my phone. We don't converse, we don't interact. 544 00:43:29,079 --> 00:43:32,519 There was a boundary violation of several that have caused it cost us the 545 00:43:32,599 --> 00:43:38,239 relationship, and it's her fault. But not everybody is prepared to do that. 546 00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:43,320 The cost benefit for everybody, it may not be worth it. If 547 00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:47,199 you want to be a little more, I don't know. I hate the 548 00:43:47,199 --> 00:43:51,800 word silent. But if you want to play chestnut checkers, if you want 549 00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:55,679 to just not rock the boat because the relationship with them and the lack of 550 00:43:55,760 --> 00:44:02,159 conflict is worth it to you, I would not you for not wearing it 551 00:44:02,199 --> 00:44:07,639 on your sleeve. But I am struck by the double standard. You are 552 00:44:07,679 --> 00:44:09,840 the one having to do all the bending man, You're the one having to 553 00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:14,039 say, ah, my god. I don't want to be too open about 554 00:44:14,039 --> 00:44:16,039 who I am, what I think, what my values are, because it'll 555 00:44:16,039 --> 00:44:22,599 make other people uncomfortable. That's rough, and I'm convinced that it's healthy, 556 00:44:22,119 --> 00:44:24,920 even if it freaks them out, even if they lose their minds. I 557 00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:30,679 think it's healthy for it religious people to know that we are here we are 558 00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:34,599 all around them. There are more of us than they may think, and 559 00:44:34,639 --> 00:44:39,679 we are good, moral, equal human beings. And that's my desire for 560 00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:45,679 you. But I can't tell you whether it's worth it at this measure. 561 00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:47,559 I don't know how bad it's going to get. I don't know what it's 562 00:44:47,599 --> 00:44:52,320 going to cost you personally. That's a very intimate personal decision that only you 563 00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:55,760 can make. I just want to be able to live in harmony because I 564 00:44:55,840 --> 00:45:00,679 love my parents deeply. They're great people like us. I couldn't think of 565 00:45:00,679 --> 00:45:04,559 a more respectable person than my father, because I know him personally. I 566 00:45:04,599 --> 00:45:07,559 know that kind of person. He is my mother as well. But you 567 00:45:07,599 --> 00:45:08,719 know, my mom's a little bit more old school, a little bit more 568 00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:15,440 judgmental. She's the kind of the pearl clutcher anytime she sees like a gay 569 00:45:15,519 --> 00:45:17,840 couple and shit like that. The thing about it is that, you know, 570 00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:22,960 they're such great, respectable people. I want them in my life because 571 00:45:22,039 --> 00:45:25,559 they are great people, not just because they're my parents, but they're great 572 00:45:25,559 --> 00:45:30,599 people as a whole. So I don't want to break that relationship down if 573 00:45:30,599 --> 00:45:34,119 I just have to live my life or the rest of their lives in this 574 00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:38,679 fashion, then so be it kind of pains me, yes, Jose. 575 00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:44,760 If you tell them you are not a Christian or a Catholic, or you 576 00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:50,000 don't believe in God and the relationship breaks down, you didn't break it. 577 00:45:50,719 --> 00:45:53,760 Okay, That's all I'm trying to say. If they lose their mind, 578 00:45:54,079 --> 00:45:59,480 if they start to put up walls, if your mom starts to clutch those 579 00:45:59,519 --> 00:46:01,639 pearls when it comes to you, she starts to treat you like the other 580 00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:06,800 people she's discriminating against. She may be good in all these other areas, 581 00:46:06,840 --> 00:46:10,280 but we have to face the fact that she's being bigoted against human beings, 582 00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:15,920 a marginalized group of good people who deserve better. If your relationship breaks down, 583 00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:22,119 you didn't break it. Your mother and potentially your father broke it because 584 00:46:22,119 --> 00:46:28,800 they cannot or will not exist in a circumstance of equality respect even respectful disagreement. 585 00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:34,960 There will be shouts and tears and emotional blackmail and consequences and conflict, 586 00:46:35,079 --> 00:46:38,239 and all of that shit's going to be their fault. And so go at 587 00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:42,480 your own speed. But it's my hope for you, brother, that at 588 00:46:42,519 --> 00:46:47,519 some point you give yourself the same latitude that they give themselves every single day 589 00:46:49,199 --> 00:46:53,440 personally, though, I'm encouraged by you to bust out of the Catholic faith, 590 00:46:53,639 --> 00:46:59,039 to make that journey right, to check things out, to kick the 591 00:46:59,159 --> 00:47:02,280 tires, to to do what you have done and honestly and get where you 592 00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:08,320 are is huge. I am just tremendously inspired by you, and I want 593 00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:13,119 you to know that, Jose, I appreciate that. Brother. Just one 594 00:47:13,199 --> 00:47:16,239 last thing. When I was a kid, I went to a Catholic retreat 595 00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:21,639 with my dad and we had this experience of a perceived demonic possession. And 596 00:47:21,679 --> 00:47:24,360 I say perceived because I couldn't tell you exactly what happened, but I saw 597 00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:28,960 what happened, you know what I'm saying. So now my dad has this 598 00:47:29,199 --> 00:47:32,880 guilt trip on me where anytime we have these conversations and I told them pretty 599 00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:39,400 much that I'm deviating from religion almost completely. He takes it as this demon 600 00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:45,679 that attacked him twenty years ago is coming back being manifested through me to get 601 00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:50,599 back at him. You know what I'm saying, You're carrying a demon. 602 00:47:50,679 --> 00:47:52,000 Oh wait, wait, wait wait, hang on, hang on, Yeah, 603 00:47:52,039 --> 00:47:57,400 there's a revenge demon backpacking on you to get back at your dad. 604 00:47:57,760 --> 00:48:01,239 Yes, yes, that's what trip that he's been throwing at me, and 605 00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:05,159 he's been telling my wife is I've been away from home. I'm right now. 606 00:48:05,199 --> 00:48:09,000 I'm actually on my drive back from Chicago to California on my way home, 607 00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:14,840 and my wife spoke with my dad just yesterday or the day before, 608 00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:20,719 and she was telling me how he brought this up to my wife. I'm 609 00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:24,719 sitting on the edge of my chair and my hands are vibrating right now because 610 00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:29,840 I mean, I could tell you the entire story if you have the time, 611 00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:31,199 but I'm sure you've got other people that you want to speak to. 612 00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:36,960 I'm just saying, your dad is giving him permission then to talk to your 613 00:48:37,039 --> 00:48:42,400 wife about how you're possessed with a damon or you have the devil whispering in 614 00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:45,519 your ear, and that's why you're such a screw up. I mean, 615 00:48:45,559 --> 00:48:50,960 that's his reasoning for the conversations that we've had where I've pretty much presented to 616 00:48:51,039 --> 00:48:54,280 him that I am no longer following religion period. I didn't say I was 617 00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:59,880 an atheist like you said, I am not following religion. I got you. 618 00:49:00,039 --> 00:49:04,840 Here's the last thing I will leave you with. Your journey is about 619 00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:08,719 you and The mistake we often make is we try to convince other people if 620 00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:13,480 only I explain what's been going on in my life a certain way, if 621 00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:15,519 there's a certain series of words, if I string them together in this way, 622 00:49:15,599 --> 00:49:20,960 or if I just show them this, they'll get it and they'll understand, 623 00:49:21,039 --> 00:49:24,039 and they'll sort of be inside my skull and know even if they disagree, 624 00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:31,559 at least they'll feel it. And that's a mistake because that makes at 625 00:49:31,639 --> 00:49:37,960 some point you are then making your journey about other people. So your journey 626 00:49:37,519 --> 00:49:42,559 the steps you take, the words you say, your values, or how 627 00:49:42,599 --> 00:49:45,960 you act out your values. You are waiting for a pingback from a third 628 00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:50,679 party, your mother, your father, religious friends, the church itself, 629 00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:55,360 etc. I think your journey is about you. In my life, I 630 00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:59,519 have come to the point where anybody around me can come up with any shit 631 00:49:59,599 --> 00:50:02,280 story they want. Oh, Seth's got demons. I've heard that one Seth's 632 00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:07,440 going through midlife. I've heard that one Seth just wants attention. I've heard 633 00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:13,400 that one Seth has cashed in and somehow he's becoming a squillionaire as an atheist. 634 00:50:13,639 --> 00:50:15,480 I haven't seen that one, and I give that as much power as 635 00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:21,159 it deserves none, because my journey's about me. I don't let it derail 636 00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:24,760 me. I live my life on my terms, and I will engage. 637 00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:29,679 When they step over the boundary of my life and start to inject that stuff, 638 00:50:30,039 --> 00:50:32,400 then it's on. But until then, people are going to say what 639 00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:35,880 they're going to say, including your dad. If he wants to hold the 640 00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:38,599 demons, it's a defense mechanism. It's a whole lot easier for him to 641 00:50:38,679 --> 00:50:43,760 use that cookie cutter than to say, maybe the whole of the faith that 642 00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:47,880 I have been practicing and preaching on the order of decades is total crap. 643 00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:52,159 I understand how demons would be a much more attractive option for him. So, 644 00:50:52,559 --> 00:50:58,000 but your journeys about you, Hoseiah, it's a total cop out. 645 00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:06,480 It's proof that religion have evolved so many mechanisms to defend against skeptics, critics, 646 00:51:06,599 --> 00:51:10,280 people with doubts. You know, if you want a great proof of 647 00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:15,760 evolution, just look at Christianity, Catholicism, Islam, etc. They have 648 00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:19,480 all of these evolved defense mechanisms in place, and you can see them. 649 00:51:19,519 --> 00:51:22,760 Do that. Know what it is, but don't let it interrupt your day. 650 00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:25,320 Man, Your journey is about you okay, Jose, thank you. 651 00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:31,159 Drive safe out there. Okay, We'll see you. I will. You 652 00:51:31,199 --> 00:51:36,199 know, it's always flattering and humbling when somebody calls and they say, Seth, 653 00:51:36,239 --> 00:51:39,039 I'm going through something. What do you think? What should I do? 654 00:51:42,079 --> 00:51:45,639 And I feel this tremendous responsibility, like why are you asking me? 655 00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:50,599 I guess I've got some equity. I do a lot of this. I've 656 00:51:50,599 --> 00:51:52,960 been through it. I've been on the front lines of activism for fifteen years 657 00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:58,039 in that since. Maybe I'm not a total imposter, but I'm not a 658 00:51:58,079 --> 00:52:02,920 professional and I don't have the answer that everybody wants. Hell, I want 659 00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:08,920 it. Hey, how can I get someone too? And that's usually the 660 00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:13,800 first sign that we're about to get into trouble. How do I get this 661 00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:21,519 person to understand, to act, to not act, to react, to 662 00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:28,360 be How do I get them? That's a problem because we have now taken 663 00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:34,119 the responsibility for the life, the attitudes, the opinions and decisions of somebody 664 00:52:34,559 --> 00:52:42,119 outside of us, and whenever they do something that is stupid or gross, 665 00:52:42,199 --> 00:52:50,760 or bigoted or deluded or just factually wrong, we can't convince them otherwise we 666 00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:54,480 failed. I failed. I am not succeeding. I have not had success, 667 00:52:54,719 --> 00:52:58,920 and in my own life, I have had to will myself into a 668 00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:04,440 better definition of what a successful life looks like because I spent years and years 669 00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:10,679 and years stacking the deck against me, guaranteeing failure because my expectations were so 670 00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:16,199 unrealistic. I was so naive. How can I get my religious mother and 671 00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:22,519 father to see why I'm an atheist? And so I would engage, and 672 00:53:22,559 --> 00:53:27,880 I would open the Bible, often a Bible that I knew better than most 673 00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:31,559 of the people in my family, including those who were teaching Sunday school, 674 00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:35,679 and I would say, this is a problem, and that doesn't work, 675 00:53:35,679 --> 00:53:37,880 and this is untrue, and this is contradictory, and this is just outright 676 00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:42,599 offensive. And so I've got legitimate reasons for walking away, and you need 677 00:53:42,639 --> 00:53:45,599 to understand that. And I would recommend that you consider doing the same. 678 00:53:45,719 --> 00:53:52,239 There is a better way. And in my naive mind, I somehow hope 679 00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:57,519 that they would either agree with me and say, wow, thanks for bringing 680 00:53:57,559 --> 00:54:02,679 this to our attention, and they would join me in this exit from mythology 681 00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:08,559 and dogmatism, or at the very least they would have a three dimensional understanding 682 00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:16,880 for their apostate child that did not happen, and I felt like I failed. 683 00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:22,840 I am not successful in this way. Well, I was never going 684 00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:29,119 to be successful, not like that. How can I make them? Is 685 00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:35,280 no longer part of my equation for success. Am I being true to me 686 00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:40,400 despite the consequences? Yes, in that way I'm a success. Have I 687 00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:46,360 found a life that is more fulfilling and wonderful for me? Yes? Have 688 00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:52,079 I discovered something that's a better fit for me? Yes? Have I learned 689 00:54:52,199 --> 00:54:58,519 more about the world even later in life, late to the party, but 690 00:54:58,679 --> 00:55:04,800 still there and and soaking up as much science and information. Have I been 691 00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:12,280 honest with myself even when it hurts? Yes, that I set my jaw 692 00:55:12,559 --> 00:55:16,800 and pushed through the fears of burning in hell forever to find out if a 693 00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:24,079 hell even made sense? Yes, despite the consequences or potential consequences. Did 694 00:55:24,119 --> 00:55:30,400 I give myself permission to examine religious dogmatism, the Bible, the history of 695 00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:36,239 the Bible, the sourcing or lack of sourcing of the Bible, the contradictory 696 00:55:36,280 --> 00:55:40,239 and offensive scriptures, the debunked mythologies of the Bible. That I continue to 697 00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:46,599 push through and make that journey even when everybody else around me told me not 698 00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:52,880 to. Yes, have I come to an understanding of the tremendous importance of 699 00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:59,159 self care and self respect? How do we live our lives without self respect? 700 00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:02,679 Why do we continue to throw ourselves under the steamroller of other people and 701 00:56:02,719 --> 00:56:07,599 then let them blame us when we get hurt? Why do we tell that 702 00:56:07,639 --> 00:56:13,519 person over there, you can't tell me what to do, but change the 703 00:56:13,719 --> 00:56:19,320 rules for somebody who might be a sibling? My brother said, my sister 704 00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:22,599 said, my daughter, my son, my mother, my father, my 705 00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:25,679 uncle. Oh well, it's different with them their family. Why is it 706 00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:31,800 different? Reframing that understanding that the rules of self care and the boundaries of 707 00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:38,000 self respect apply even to those on our family tree. Understanding that was I 708 00:56:38,119 --> 00:56:45,599 successful? I think so. I think that is a victory. I don't 709 00:56:45,599 --> 00:56:52,960 think success always has to feel good. Success won't always include everyone. Success 710 00:56:53,320 --> 00:57:01,119 sometimes includes conflict or refusing to engage in conflict. So often is not this 711 00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:07,480 Hollywood ending that everybody dreams about? And I understand why we want to all 712 00:57:07,559 --> 00:57:12,760 be on the same team, pursuing the same thing for the right reason, 713 00:57:12,880 --> 00:57:16,280 and at the end, everybody's a winner, everybody gets a trophy. But 714 00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:22,360 if we put that expectation in place, we are destined to be disappointed, 715 00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:29,519 even devastated, and then often we blame ourselves because I failed. But if 716 00:57:29,519 --> 00:57:34,360 you make your journey more about being true to yourself, that's the starting point, 717 00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:38,159 and you say I am being a success in that, and then we 718 00:57:38,199 --> 00:57:43,760 live our lives loud and proud if we can in front of all of these 719 00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:47,519 other people, hoping that if someone else is on a similar journey, or 720 00:57:47,559 --> 00:57:52,400 maybe there's enough of a crack to let in the light, maybe they'd be 721 00:57:52,559 --> 00:57:59,800 open to conversation. Our example, our authenticity, our life might impact their 722 00:58:00,079 --> 00:58:06,760 reception, but the change still happens internally in their minds. We provide the 723 00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:15,400 opportunity. They must take responsibility. Why, because their journey belongs to them, 724 00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:21,480 not a life without challenge, disagreement, or even conflict, but self 725 00:58:21,559 --> 00:58:25,920 care, self respect, and authenticity. And even when the shit hits the 726 00:58:25,960 --> 00:58:30,519 fan, if you've gotten at least close to that point, I think you 727 00:58:30,639 --> 00:58:36,320 may have a successful life even when everybody else around you seems to be spinning 728 00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:40,079 into oblivion. Realizing that that's their problem, and you can decide how much 729 00:58:40,119 --> 00:58:46,840 of their problem you let into your home. That's success, not a utopian 730 00:58:46,880 --> 00:58:53,079 Hollywood success, but a real world, sometimes messy, but still valid success. 731 00:58:53,960 --> 00:59:02,320 So embrace that, give yourself the credit you deserve. Okay, And 732 00:59:02,480 --> 00:59:09,159 with that, I am off to care for a sick kitty. To medicate 733 00:59:09,519 --> 00:59:14,960 a sick cat, which means more of the burrito method. I think we 734 00:59:15,079 --> 00:59:16,559 take the towel. We're going to wrap him up, and it's for your 735 00:59:16,599 --> 00:59:22,599 own good and good for kitty because he could have been born into a home 736 00:59:22,639 --> 00:59:24,920 when we said, well, you know what, we don't want any of 737 00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:30,960 those medicines. The Lord is the best medicine. Dear Jesus, we asked 738 00:59:30,039 --> 00:59:37,239 that you help cat not to have diarrhea. Today, we ask that you 739 00:59:37,320 --> 00:59:44,639 perform a divine miracle on his little feline exit hole. He closed the back 740 00:59:44,719 --> 00:59:50,320 door to all of this sickness and disease. Lord, may Christ cure his 741 00:59:50,599 --> 00:59:57,800 keeyster. May the Savior sooth his sphincter and bring him back to proper intestinal 742 00:59:57,880 --> 01:00:04,440 health. Where two or more are gathered in Jesus's name praying over this cats 743 01:00:04,480 --> 01:00:09,719 poor poophole, their request shall be done. We ask this in Jesus name. 744 01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:15,039 We could be doing that, but no, we are a science based 745 01:00:15,159 --> 01:00:21,840 household and so Kat, prepare yourself. It's time to take your meds, 746 01:00:21,960 --> 01:00:25,239 and I'm off to do that very thing. Love you much, be safe 747 01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:30,760 and well. See you next week. Follow the Thinking Atheist on Facebook and 748 01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:35,480 Twitter for a complete archive of podcasts and videos, products like mugs and t 749 01:00:35,559 --> 01:00:39,679 shirts featuring the Thinking Atheist logo, links to atheist pages and resources, and 750 01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:45,760 details on upcoming free thought events and conventions. Log onto our website, The 751 01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:50,000 Thinkingatheist dot com.