High team girl Talk listeners. Have you ever been rejected? Not by a
crush, although that sucks, I'm talking about applying for college or a job
confession I have and it's horrible. It's like, Hello, have you met
me? I'm amazing. See that's kind of the problem. These college administrators
and employers haven't met you. They don't know how incredible you are, and
they don't have a way to find out. That's what I love about this
digital portfolio platform called Talo. Talo shows the real you. With Talo,
you can create a free profile to showcase your skills and abilities. I'm talking
class projects, test scores, hobbies, clubs, athletics, volunteer and work
experience. You can even upload a video about yourself. After you make a
profile, Talo matches you with colleges, scholarships, internships, and job opportunities
based on your unique interests and aspirations. Employers and college recruiters also use Talo
to connect with young talent every day. Create your free profile with Talo.
That's t a l l O. Visit talo dot com slash teen girl Talk
to get started. Welcome to teen girl Talk being girl Talk. I'm Seesi
Coda I'm freak Kakoda, and this week we're doing depths to I mean barely
lethal. La la la la. Look, I said, we're doing a
month of teen action spy movies and some times they're just things just have kind
of the same cadence or whatever, same kind of plots or are you saying
that these vibes are similar? Kind of But what I would love to know
is why did there need to be so many teen espionage movies around this time?
Because it's fun. It's like espionage stuff is fun and being But Frank,
I'm just saying, why is there no espionage stuff now? Because everything's
like superheroes. That's what I have to say about that. I mean,
like that's that's kind of just everything, isn't it. It's like, why
is this not a thing anymore because of because of superheroes or just like choose
the like choose whatever big media franchise is happening. Why does this not happen
anymore because of blank? I mean in the way that I missed um like
teen you Hopia stuff, not Utopia dystopian. I feel like we're now doing
like just so much superhero stuff. Well, if you want to, if
you want more Team Dystopian stuff. You need to lay the blame solely at
the feet of Divergent. So I don't know why is Divergent. I didn't
think Diversion was bad. Why didn't I guess, well, it bombed so
unbelievably, Like I think they made the first one, they made the second
one, then the last two became made for TV movies. Okay, because
I think I read the book series. Do you know what I feel like?
Does not get enough attention? Animal uglies? Well, animals. It
is shocking to me that Animals has not been licensed yet. Is it just
that it's too dark? I mean, how do you do animals? Like?
Do you do it live action and just have it being like horrifying nightmare
or due to a cartoon and have to be a horrifying nightmare like cartoon makes
sense because you're going to have so many morphing humans. Also, I'm going
to say live action makes sense because think of how far CGI has come.
Yeah, remember morvious curious me two very niche popular male actors into vampires.
So I didn't mean I wasn't planning to bring this up today. But you
have a transition to talking about morbous is so funny to me. You're like,
I didn't think we were going to have to discuss this. But so
there was a nineteen nineties UM Spider Man cartoon. If you look it up,
it looks ridiculous now because they have like normal you know, pen and
paper two D animation, but Spider Man is also now swinging through like three
D buildings and Whatnotum, and like it did the best it could, Like
it brought in a lot of things, like he teams of the X Men
at one point, he teams of the Fantastic Four, teams of Iron Man
Daredevil. Like he teams up with a crap ton of people, and then
they bring they bring in just a crap ton of Spider Man villains, okay,
which includes Morbus. Yes. Now the problem is that, like this
is a show made for children. Also, Spiderman doesn't punch anybody in this
show. He's just I'm so sad that Morbus two is not going to get
made. Do you think it'll get made? No? I hope not.
Should I watch this cartoon to replace my love or my desire, my longing
for morp too? I was like, yes, um, because like he's
dressed like a gentleman in this one. He's not just dressed up as am
just hipster. I'm gonna says Jared Leedo, He's just Jared Leto, So,
um, what do we call it? He's like more of a classic
vampire in the in the TV show. The problem is they can't show him,
you know, biting into people's necks and sucking their blood that way.
Um Okay, I was gonna say, you say this like this is sheared
knowledge that we both know why this is not happening, and I don't know
why it's not happening. It was like a Saturday morning cartoon show, you
know, like in the early nineties. So they can't like the cops didn't
have like regular guns, they had laser guns. Okay, so but instead
much like in Batman in the animated series where they needed to change thing for
the sensors, well, he has instead these little suckers on his hands,
like to pus suckers and then he that's how he sucks life out of people.
That's awfhol. I hate it. I hope they really showcase that in
more Reus two. Also, Morbus is a bad pet owner because like he
just has the big tank of bats in his blood lab or whatever. And
I don't see where those bats are able to perch or like get food or
anything. They're just constantly swarming. I thought that they were basically in a
wind tunnel. Well do you think that if you were a bat or a
human or anything, would you think you'd want to be constantly in a wind
tunnel? No? I didn't really think about it, to be totally honest,
But now thinking about the more vious bad tunnel, we don't see the
top of the tube. The top of the tube could have a series of
perches. I mean, whenever he goes over there, there's just constantly swarming
in their wind tunnel. Maybe they're like into him though, maybe like there's
bad excitement because Morvius is in the room because he can call to them.
Maybe he has a constantly show up just to get them out sick of the
wind tunnel. Like there's a very specific time where they're like, oh,
I hate the wind tunnel. Then he shows up like oh makes the wind
tunnel all the more warfare. Then he leaves again like oh the wind tunnel.
Yeah. Like basically he has to sort of um soften the blow of
being perpetually in a windowel. Yeah. Uh, you know who I want
to train if they train in a wind tunnel, The Prescotts and barely Lethal.
I mean they seem much more talented in mixed martial arts than being a
bat in a wind tunnel. I mean they also unlike unlike the first devs,
you know, they don't constantly sit on little swings suspended from the ceiling.
You're acting like this is a positive. It is one thousand percent negative
in my book, that's fair. Do you know what I missed? The
Trap East Swing? Do you know what I did not understand it? All?
The logic of this film, like it's if you told me it's a
take on Oliver Twist, I would believe you. And again I must make
the question of how is this a government funded project? L Jackson runs a
school for orphaned children. It's not even a school. It's like a training
boot camp where they become killers. And if you don't fall in line,
he abandoned you and threatened, but he'll just let the enemy murder you.
Yeah. Also, all told, how many days do we think Jessica albo
is on set? Because I am saying one one and a half tops,
maybe two, Yeah, like one or two. She She's like, I'll
be here for this day scene. Then the middle of my day after launch
will Baby in the interrogation room. I'll do it in one take and then
after that you can. I guess we'll have it at night and I'll go
to that house. And I think they've a very clearly filming on the same
sets that were in Baby Dry Her, because like that the junk ard and
this feels very familiar. Yes, Um, there's another set where I was
like, this looks very familiar. Um, well, I'm sure there's sounds
stages. Yeah, I'm trying. I mean, this wasn't a twenty for
produced philm Yeah, how did that happen? The most baffling, I mean,
twenty four is just like we'll just put out whatever and see what's tecks.
Well, I mean now they're known for like prestige films. This film
has like a thirty percent on Rotten Tomatoes, and they're not all gonna be
good. So let's get into it. Um. This film stars Hailey Steinfeld,
who we've seen in in uh Bumblebee choosing something else we watched, right,
I don't think do we do Bumblebee? For the podcast or do we
just go see Bumblebee. I think we did Bumblebee for the podcast. I
mean that would have been pre COVID, so you know, my memory is
not great, but I'm pretty sure we watched it for the podcast. I
probably would have seen it anyway, So it's it's anyone's guess. Uh,
Sophie Turners in this. I know that she's been in a bunch of stuff.
I can't think of anything off on the top of my head because the
useless when it comes to that, she was in um that Revenge movie watched.
Well, that's like just throwing everything at the wall. Cammie Mendez and
um do Revenge Revenge? Yes, thank you? Who is she in there?
She's she's the girl that they frame for cocaine at the tennis court.
Yes, oh my god, she's amazing in that. Okay, now I
remember, Yeah, just throwing this out there, like by the time I'm
barely lether Cut came out, A twenty four is already put it out.
Some killers, yeahs green Room, the Witch, um the end end of
the tour, Amy Slow West X Mocking had come out before Barely Lethal did.
Yeah, it's inexplicable. Um, it's again similar to Deb's a movie
that's very of its time. Um. There is a fight scene at the
end between Sophie Turner and Hailey Steinfeld where they say some like pretty egregious stuff
and I was like, I don't like that at all. Also, I'm
gonna wager I didn't look it up. I think this movie is written by
a dude. I'm going to check that out now. Um. So,
Hailey Steinfeld is a secret eight wait what's her number? Eighty three and she
is in constant competition with Sophie Turner's character, who is eighty four, and
they are going on different missions to prevent crimes. And they have a mission.
And this is why it felt so much like death to me. We
get a rundown of a lady criminal. She's so dangerous, she's so elite.
Only you, eighty three, can you know, take care of her?
And eighty four Sophie Turner is furious about this. They basically embed eighty
three in like as one of the hostages of Jessica Elba's character. Quick sorry,
quick interjection. The thing is eighty three is becoming dissatisfied with her life
of constant murder. Well, we find out later she hasn't actually murdered anyone,
um, but she wants the teen experience. Yeah, so she's been
watching like teen movies and all these other things. This mean girls pretty in
pink, all of them. Yeah, so she's actually building up in her
head what she thinks an actual teen experience is supposed to be based off of
movies. And I thought, like they bring this up a bit in the
movie. I think it could have been done a bit better. You know
what I'm now thinking about. There's this movie called Hannah h A n Na
which, um does this a bit better or it has like Eric Banna is
this like rogue is the one where she lives with wolves. I don't know
if she loves a wolf. She loves a Eric Banna and like he's basically
been himself, yes, one of the hulks. Um he is training her
to get revenge against the government organization and um oh seriously, Run, I
did not realizeist the run was the main character. And like she also like
has been living like only to fight and now she has to have a teen
experience. So I guess this is just a kind of running theme um in
these kind of movies. So it's weird that it's never dudes, Like,
can you think of a dude example of this? Well, I feel like
I know that they're out there trying. I'm trying to think of one off
the top of my head, though, why don't we keep going through the
movie and I'll see if I can find one? I mean, the thing
okay, sorry, the thing is what these it would always be like the
dude to be like just still living in high school. But then Bell like
I'd be like taxi driver where he's just like you know, or next week's
movie Secret Agent Coodie Banks. Okay, Um, I was gonna also,
nah, never mind, Frank, I'm I'm putting my foot down after Big
Down, Liar, I want to watch Secret Agent. I was gonna say,
we do across into the Spider Verse because the sequel to that is coming
in November. Have we not done that? We didn't do it for the
podcast. He just watched it, Okay, okay, um, anyway,
so yes, we'll do with a secret aging Cody Banks. Thank you?
Yeah? Um okay, sorry, so sorry, please continue about the whole
situation, okay. I Sara had a question about Eric Banner though, Um,
what happened to him after he was no longer the Hold And was he
the Hoholk before Ed Norton? Is he the Hulk clits in between Ed Nooron
and Mark Ruffalo. No, Um, he was the first Hulk and Hulk
then verder And took over the role incredible Hulk. Um and then ruined his
chances to be in the MCU. And because um, he kept he kept
being like, this is my movie and you're ruining my movie. Oh,
I just I was hoping you were going to say that he wanted to Hold
to have like a really weird backstory and for them to be like, we
can't write that in. There is a scene with him and him and his
girlfriend are about to like start making out and then his thing starts going all
He's like, oh, we can't do this, I'll turn into the Hulk
and then he punches her head off. No, he just they just stopped
making out. Um, let just be like his girlfriend's playing like liv Tyler,
not against Live Tyler. This is I didn't even know which hole key
was. Obviously, I have nothing against Liv Tyler. I am saying I
the truth of what happened with the Ed Norton Hulk is way less interesting than
what happened in my imagination, which was that he just wanted all of the
flat lines to be banana pants. So yeah, basically, Marvel leaves a
statement that were like, we're looking for somebody who's more of a team player.
I was hoping you were going to say his ideas were on a monkeybone
level, and we just couldn't. They couldn't do it. Yeah, Marvel
didn't have NonStop money yet. Yeah, which is surprising because I feel like
some of the people, and I won't name names because I know that everybody
has their favorite in the Marvel universe, but okay, I'll just say it.
I think all Guy is probably difficult to work with because of his insistence
on doing the stunts himself, like when he broke both of his arms and
while doing the movie tag. But and he's like a total side character,
right, Like he's not considered one of like the mains. If that's kind
of the whole running joke with Hawkeye is that he's not one of the mains.
Um well, but he then get got his own show with Hailey Steinfeld.
Actually, oh my god, well, I was gonna say we do
into the Spider Verse next week, because Haley Stein felt in that too.
That's Spider Gwen. Um, but like she's Okay, if we do into
the Spider Verse next week, do we still have time to do Secret Agent
Cody Banks. No? I think we should just do Secret Agent Cody Banks
because I think that's more of our theme. Um. I would like to
do into the Spider Verse at some point. Okay, I can't we do
it in our seaquel stuff? Yeah, sequel start that. That's just all
of summer. Okay, cool? Okay, So so yeah, you're going
to talk about are you going to talk about marble stuff or the plot?
I'm gonna talk about just one very quick thing is I was reading this Aquaman
comic. Uh huh, We're Aquaman. Um is just he get comes out
of the water, goes to like a shore side diner, and this hipster
comes up and it's just asking him all these questions. I ask you some
questions by podcast and he's like trying to be edgy and he's just edgy to
Aquaman, who's like the ultimate edge lord. It's on an edge lord.
Oh my god. Okay, the newest most recent DC Aquaman, one thousand
percent is he like spice the camera and he has all these witticisms. This
is this is like blonde. It's like I don't want to big king.
This is invitation. This is responsible blonde hair, blue eyed Aquaman, like
he's just a dude just trying to get by protecting three fourths of the planet.
Because that's my thing about Aquaman is Aquaman's beat is three fourths of the
planet. For um Batman his beat is one city. Aquaman's like, I
got, you know, seventy five percent of what covers this world. Anyway,
Wait, does Zechman ever interact with Nay More? No? There naymoors
Marvel? Oh, so like how much fanfic roughly? Would you say?
Is there of them kissing a ship? Tone? Probably? Um, that
makes sense. Okay, so we can go back to barely lethal. I
was gonna say this guy guy says to Aquaman, Sorry, I interrupted your
story with nonsense. I'm gonna just end it real quick. This guy says
to Aquaman, how does it feel being nobody's favorite superhero an? Aquaman responded,
wait a couple of years. Well, the thing is he just picks
up his tried end and like the waitress is like bringing him his fish and
chips, and he just leaves two gold coins on the on the table.
They kind of fucked up for him to be eating fish and chips. Well
yeah, well that's what the guy asked, Like, are those your friends?
He's like, I don't know every fish personally. I still like,
what do you think we eat? Yeah, I don't know every human personally.
That doesn't mean I'm like gonna show down on them. Yeah, I
mean I think it's just kind of like eating a Paris. Alcaman was like,
yeah, it can talk, but like other things, he doesn't talk
to fish. It just influences where they go up, like the things.
He leaves her two gold coins and he's just like. She's like, what
do I do with these? He's like, put your kids through college?
And then he leaves. Okay, I could just fill the rest of this
episode with questions about this nonsense. I'm not going to do that. I'm
making a conscious decision to move away from this because his reasoning is like serial
killer or reasoning. I hate it. Um, I hate this. This
is like when you talk told me about optimist primal I'm really mad. Okay,
so I didn't give you a full story aboutist primal. I just told
you his name and you got pissed off, which is very reasonable. Yes,
I one thousand persented. So oh my gosh, how I'm supposed to
live like this? This is ridiculous. You're exactly, Frank, exactly you
did this. So um, the whole mission to like retrieve Jessica Alba goes
sideways. Surprise, surprise, I mean because again this is Deb's two.
So um, they're like, we've never become this close, and like then
the mission doesn't look that hard. Yes, I mean, this is why
I think that espionage movies that take place in high school are complicated, because
the thing is, the high school is boring, and people have nothing but
time and boredom and attention to give other things. So when she shows up,
when eighty three shows up out of nowhere with her new name and she's
an exchange student from Canada with no traces of Canadian ancestry, people would take
notice, especially when like special Agents starts showing up and stuff starts going sideways.
But it is very similar to what we spoke about last week with the
John Wick effect, where people are just fighting and things are falling apart and
everyone's like dode to do, I'll just keep dancing, doesn't matter. I
am unaffected. I've hit like three dudes of my cars going around the Octa
triomph. But you know, I'm just gonna go about my day, not
gonna think about this. I'm not gonna stop. Yeah, like I just
who has the time? So eighty three falls in a late This is so
nutty. So is They're all lined up to be shot execution style, which
is very heavy, and when her black hood is pulled off, she's like,
gotcha and m sweeps Jessica Alba's legs and now they're in a tussle and
Jessica Alba if hears to have bested her, but that's not what happened.
She has looped a wire accord something to that. When how does she signal
to them to like yank Jessica Alba up? Or is that just perfect timing,
perfect movie timing. It's the Fulton recovery system or the best diversion of
it that everybody loves to put in their movies, and especially in the Metaga
Solid five video game, Okay, you release a balloon and that lifts you
up, and then a plane comes along and takes you. But in like
the Medaga Solid five video game, it like you have to have a balloon
to something. It floats in front of you for like three seconds. Then
if it's a person, he goes and just shoots them into the sky.
Okay, I did see that in a game ogre video, but they accidentally
did that with their car. They were like, oh no, I needed
that, yeah, um so yeah. So they are entangled in this rope
being brought up by the plane and um like Agent eighty three is being shot
at by Jessica Alba. Uh she A three falls into a river. Samuel
Jackson is like a three report report Now she's dead. He literally says,
this is your last chance. What you're not going to go look for her?
Like if you don't respond, if you're unconscious, stuff, young lady,
you get back in this in this plane. Write this instant Like so
again, they did not have a choice, Like I really don't know how
much of a choice the deb's head, but it did seem more voluntary than
this. It's literally they show up on your graduation day at high school and
they're like, do you want to join a group where you kill people for
the government and all the devs are like, Yeah, we're gonna live in
this sorority house and be really cool. Yeah, and not actually attend classes
because we're too busy having breakfast with holograms and like we're I don't know how
we got on the subject, but like, you know, the Debs and
the Prescott are just child soldiers. Well maybe the devs are list child soldiers,
but like last night, we're listing all the organizations and like teen fiction
and fiction that and lest child soldiers and it's quite a lot of them.
Yeah, and X men. These are people we are supposed to be cheering
for. We're supposed to like them. But when so they track down eighty
two after she's embedded herself in this new family. Um. The there's a
younger brother, a single mom, and a sister played by Deve Cameron,
and the sister is very suspicious of eighty three. What's her new name?
Um Megan from Regina, Yes, Meganum. The little brother is just delighted
because Megan Slash eighty three is you know, willing to pretend that he's in
Ninja, and um, like it's just generally pleasant to be around. And
the mom is you know, like pretty chill Um wants her to have the
full experience. I don't know if Topher Grace was written out of this movie
or not. That's definitely him in the photo right, Yes, that mustache
that I think he continued on with until he was David Duke in Black plans
Man. What was that about. I don't know. Is that like a
red herring for us to think, like, oh, cool, toforh Grace
is going to be in this movie? Said the movie, and there was
like, yeah, well maybe maybe they had big plans for there to eventually
be a sequel that despite the fact I think A twenty four doesn't do sequels.
So um, like she does, Megan does a hug a random person
thinking that it's tofor Grace, which I've done a few times in my life,
which was a good gag. But at the same time, I'm like,
why would you get Topah Grace for that? Yeah? Um, I
don't know. Maybe I didn't think he might have been written as a movie
which was written by dude. Yeah I got that vibe. Yeah, well
we contemplate this where is gonna me a quick trip to the bake sale?
High Team Girl talk listeners, have you ever been rejected. Not by a
crush, although that sucks. I'm talking about applying for college or a job
confession I have and it's horrible. It's like, Hello, have you met
me? I'm amazing. See that's kind of the problem. These college administrators
and employers haven't met you. They don't know how incredible you are, and
they don't have a way to find out. That's what I love about this
digital portfolio platform called Talo. Talo shows the real you. With Talo,
you can create a free profile to showcase your skills and abilities. I'm talking
class projects, test scores, hobbies, clubs, athletics, volunteer and work
experience. You can even upload a video about yourself. After you make a
profile, Talo matches you with colleges, scholarships, internships, and job opportunities
based on your unique interests and aspirations. Employers and college recruiters also used Talo
to connect with young talent every day. Create your free profile with Talo.
That's ta lllo. Visit talo dot com slash teen girl Talk to get started.
So so, thus we have Megan and Meghan, Lizza's first day of
school and Lizza's like please love the Christ dude, I embarrass me, and
Meghan's like, guess what I'm gonna Yeah. I mean they did a really
good job with her outfit being close enough to something someone would wear, but
like just very off target. And so when I'm sorry, what's the sister's
name again, Liz, it's a bunch of pieces that would work with different
and outfit, and then she just jammed all of them together. Yeah,
like almost everything is too much of a look. So Liz pulls out a
school T shirt and is like put this on, whites that makeup off and
you know, basically like don't look so wacky anymore. And you know,
Megan's a little bit crestfallen because she put a lot of research and work into
this terrible look that she's rocking, and you know, if it makes her
happy, I think she should just follow her bliss. But the rest of
the day does not go that well. She gets involved with two dudes,
and the movie makes it very clear which one you're supposed to be cheering for,
and it is not the guy that is in the popular high school band
con Cash. This is his name. Yeah, I was like, Frank's
gonna hate this guy. I mean, I thought he was okay, Like
I thought he's gonna be way doucher than like he was. I mean,
Gucci is pretty douche um, but until he becomes Bernard. Yeah, I
mean he does get his come up ins. Like at one point, the
first time he sees Megan, he grabs her butt, which sucks, and
then he tries to do it again and without looking, Megan wraps his hand
and like newly breaks his fingers. Yeah, and so like, but here's
the thing. I feel like there there was the bones of a good movie,
and then they just built it up with a bunch of like other stuff
that wasn't good. Um. So, like she's instantly attracted to Cash,
but she also starts making friends with Roger Um and they make a bunch of
puns together, And I did like the principle in this. He's like,
I'm so sad we like finally have some diversity of the school. Our phone
exchange from Canada. Really like that's the best they could do. And they
have her come out and introduced herself. It does not go great. Then
Emoticon starts playing and then Roger asks her like, so this is your first
day, your first time in high school, Like what's going on? Yeah,
and she's trying to navigate the choppy waters of the high school cafeteria.
These cheerleaders, who seemed genuinely nice, ask her to sit with them,
and she says, I know what you're planning, and they're like, wait,
what, which reminds me of this bit from the cartoon movie Meet the
Robinsons, where this kid's like school was dreadful and like you see this kid
walking through the halls was head down. These two other boys like, hey
man, your fold is really cool. Well it's like, hey, do
you want to hang out later? And then just like the narror goes every
but he hated me so so yeah, so she's like, I know what
you're up to, and they're very confused. She ends up like in competition.
Then they go to chemistry class, which is the chemistry teacher is so
bizarre. He made me so uncomfortable. Why is he touching Cash so much?
Yeah, well he wants to jam with him, and also like he's
just constantly yelling at everybody to get out and whatnot, So I guess him
and Cash can be together. It was so weird, but like he's like,
enjoy where you sat today because next week, I've got to our next
class, You're gonna have assigned seats, And of course Megan infiltrates and changes
her seats to be sitting next to Cash. When Frank says infultrate, he
means literally drops from the ceiling after hours in the school to hack into these
terrible chemistry teachers computer. Yes, so what she does not know is that
the chemistry future of plans on using Cash as a lab assistant, which is
weird. Yes, a lot of weird energy come from there. The thing,
the fact of the maount is like Cash is just boring and dull,
which the movie fully knows. Um. So the next so, Megan starts
noticing a white van sitting outside of her Oh, I did enjoy that.
The two girls that are in competition for Cash's love tell Megan that he's like
they like, you know what Cash loves more than anything, mascots? And
if Cash had liked mascots, I would have liked him more. But he
doesn't seem to care about mascots. But Frank, how in this film would
you like Cash to convey his love of mascots? Like, what exactly would
be inappropriate? He just like really sick pumped on mascot. Well the mini
he sees a mascot, he just goes yeah, yeah, yeah, I
mean Frank. They specifically said that he has very good school spirit and that's
why his band plays at every PEP rally and she was like, yeah,
it makes sense, checks out. Yeah. So she does like a fun
little axe demonstration. The like teacher that's supposed to be her trying her out
is like, yeah, whatever, you got the role, um, and
we then that's when the van starts flowing her and eventually like three guys dressed
all in black, I'm running onto the field while she's performing with the marching
band. She fights them off and she's like, who don't you And apparently
the it's a tradition that the rival school kidnaps the mascot every year, but
she has handily disarmed them. Everyone's filming this. She's completely embarrassed. Roger
like try to talk to her afterwards, but she is too bereft. Um.
Rob Hubil is the dad for some reason, and I feel like they
were kind of casting him as a villain. All of the adults are very
strange in this Villaman. We still haven't even talked about the mom like,
yeah, I'm gonna say she's strange but the least problematic. Yeah, she's
at least seems supportive. Yeah. So, um, you know, the
YouTube video alerts the Prescotts and I get you know, and here's the thing.
I would say, there's there might be a reference to Um Debs in
this movie, because when Samuel Jackson is trying to get Um Jessica Alba to
name her suppliers, He's like, I can make yoursel a lot more cozy.
I could like give you the L word box set, you know.
And I'm just like, is she I was like, I'm wondering if the
like the writer of this movie is trying to send a weight that she's gay
and thus the same as UM trying to Brewster's character from Depths. I don't
think so. I think you are giving this movie so much credit. Yeah,
all right, I have to give it something. Um so yeah,
um, So the press Scotts find out where Megan is. She gets kidnapped.
We're not kidnapped. She gets apprehended by Samuel Jackson and Stevo. Dad
was so strange. He doesn't talk for the first half of the scene.
Then they have him deliver lines which Stevo is not a trained actor. This
is not a slight to Stevo. This is this is not his profession.
So to put him next to two actors who have been doing this for a
while is not nice. I mean yeah, Like to be fair, I
did find his lines very funny, like the idea of him being like,
you're you're stickling her growth man like as he menaces her with a car battery.
Yeah, like it just I it was so jarring because the scene starts
and I was like, just Steva, Steva, there are we acknowledging that
this is Stevo. Why is this happening? Stevo needs to stick to his
lane of spreading joy and positivity in the world. Yeah, so that's the
thing, Like, it is such a strange move to have him in this
role in this movie. Yeah, I'm like, God, doesn't imagine him
playing like a button down like Dad. Well, like, imagine him playing
too strange and I'd began to have strange It is because he still has like
the froggy voice. Yeah, And I'm just thinking about the fact that,
like Pedro, do they nod to the fact that Pedro has a tattoo of
himself on his back, right, because that's his character name. Frank.
I can't talk anymore about the fact that CBOs in this movie. It's too
bizarre. Um, So you know, he's like, okay, moving on,
so busy. So basically they go back and forth on well, you
know, like you can leave, but we're not gonna help you, which
like, but we also want you back, and like, the movie just
can't seem to decide what Sarahl Jackson wants for Megan, whether he wants her
back or he wants to abandon her. He's the whole thing of the Prescotts
is you don't form attachments, unlike Debs, where the edict is no one
gets left behind. Yeah, And so eighty three Slash Megan has decided this
doesn't work for her, and so when eighty four shows up as Heather,
Um, Megan is like, what are you doing here? And Heather says
that Samuel Jackson sent her to keep an eye on Megan, and so then
eighty three Slash Megan is like, oh, the strings don't get in my
way. I'm going to get asked to prom and Heather's like, thought,
I mean, I should have realized this is written by a movie when Heather's
you literally said, I should have realized this is written by a movie.
Okay, which movie wrote this movie? Um, Deb's wanted revenge and they
wanted the sequel. They're like, we can't call it Debs, so we
have to call it something else will at least slightly make it better. Again,
that is a hot take. So are there cgi force fields in this
one? I don't think so. No, um worse. I still think
it's one better. Okay, But the thing is like I should have known
this certain by a dude when we Heather's revenge on Megan is just to threaten
to bone down with various boys that she likes. Oh my god, wouldn't
it be funny if she had pantser hea. There's like, you'll never see
my revenge coming. And then like, I like, Megan's trying to talk
to Cash, It's been like weeks at this point, and he just runs
by a pancer and just like what, it just runs away. It would
be so funny because it would be so goofy. Because okay, that is
what I will point out that I miss from Debs. Debs could not kind
of find it stride, but it was goofy. I feel like, if
you are going to do a teen spionage movie and needs to be more goofy,
and I need to think less about child soldiers. That's fair. It's
hard to lose myself when I am thinking about the fact that eighty three Slash
Megan and eighty four slash Heather are child soldiers. And then you show me
a like scene of Samuel L. Jackson training seven and eight year olds in
bomb disposal. I hated that, and one of them like does it wrong
and obstentively like in this scenario blows themselves off. That sucked, and you
know I'll go hurt and dead nobody because all the guns were banana plants like
clown choose And you know who was in the hurt locker wearing bomb disposal gear,
Jeremy Brenner Hawkeye. That is true. So anyway, U So yeah,
the movie just starts spiraling towards the end, and like Liz and Heather
are driving somewhere and they get attacked. Oh this is after they go to
a party where Um Megan, not Heather. Meganum is a terrible friend and
or pseudo sister. I don't know how you want to refer to her and
abandons Liz. At the party, Liz gets genitalia drawn on her face.
Foster Mom is curious understandably where she said, how dare you leave her?
And Megan's excuse was like, well, you told me I have a teenage
experience, and she's like, my daughter has mail gen filia drawn in her
face, prominent marker and she has to go to church like this, I
think about what you did. So when they like also, I did enjoy
the scenes with Liz and Bernard in the bathtub, like starting to like become
friends and eventual like smooth, well, because they had made so many jokes
about Bernard possibly being guilty of assault. I the whole time I was tense.
I was like, oh right, this movie changes mine and Guc is
actually a good guy. Scared the whole fiber Liz. I forgot about that.
I do now, like now you're reminding me of that. This movie
played a trick on me, and I remember that fucking Okay, yeah it
does is better, No, I mean, okay. The thing is like
the Bobby like from Debs, Like yeah, I was like, oh,
like thinking about you, and that truck is kind of hot, like yeah,
Frank, that sucks but she wasn't in danger from him. Now just
your Danner roster is in danger run. Yeah, and Joanna Booster was a
criminal. Yeah, Liz was just existing. Yeah. Okay, oh my
god. I mean, Frank good art makes you think, Allah Debs.
This is like when I turned the corner on after and I was like,
no, I love it. I can't the hard wants what it wants.
I can't help it. Okay, what did you think of the ending?
They go to the prom and it's kind of like, I did you feel
satisfied with the school year and her experience and did you think that this was
a good place for the movie to crescendo? No? Um, The whole
thing with the prom and every like the thing is I feel like there's a
way to do this, Like you know, I feel like there's a way,
like much like Deb's feel there's a way. Okay, what we said
this last week's see we said this is like a C plus movie and like
it had room for improvement, like a sequel could have made it better.
I mean, just the fact that you're using dems as the yardstick for how
to do things is like delighting meed to no end. Well, no,
I mean like it's just like this this delighted the genre of high school spy
movies. I feel like I feel like this could have been an anime that
would have made way more sense. What was an anime at one point?
I feel like, yeah, Full Metal Panic was something along these lines.
But the director of the writer Full Metal Panic and is like hates Greta Thurnbert
for some reason. Um weird, yeah, like he's not a good guy.
Um. I mean that's as arbitrary as what did I say? The
whole subsession was this? That wasn't a real obsession enough time to think.
I hope it's not a real obsession. Like, so, um, okay,
what if he was like, I'm super into dating the whole I hate
that he wants to punch my head off all the time. So I made
a series of melons with like printeds of my face so he can just knock
them almost like a t ball thing. I mean, the Hulk has a
child with somebody. Okay, what if he really liked melon though? So
like he knocks the fake me head on the ground and it splits open,
and then he's just like, I don't I mean that one has some other
implications that I don't want to, Like, he's devouring my brains, That's
what I'm saying. It has some other implications that I don't want to think
about. I mean, like Aquaman and eating fish. Yes, um yeah,
so during so during the Planet Hulk um arc where the a bunch of
of superheroes are like, we're gonna send the Hulk away because he's causing too
much damage. Um, they shot him into space. He handled on this
planet called scar our Ccar Cicario no sa ka Cicari would be better if the
Holp was in it, though, I mean, I'm pretty sure you kill
Benicio del Toro. What if he's threw him into the sun. Can the
Hulk throw someone into the sun? Probably if he's angry enough, like a
discus? How do I get the Hulk to throw me into the sun?
Just get him? Don't think it would hurt. I think you just did
incinerate like on site on contact. Well, I mean, well, first
you'd freeze to death, like in the reach of the space, So it
would be like throwing a popsicle into a bonfire. You would need you would
need to yeah, basically, but you would first need to reach escape velocity
to get out of Earth's gravity, which he discives me that hard. I
mean, he's the whole gil he once held up a mountain? Why because
I was gonna fall in up? Was there something delicious under there? No?
Why do you think the Hulk is complete? Eating? Should? Sorry?
What? Because he's a giant five four bomb? He's kind of a
giant. Um his name is literally the whole? Who are you fucking with
me? Like? He's a giant, He's a giant man, Yes,
lating me. I'm going on the internet to get you canceled. Um.
Wait, so do you think I should do a tumbler pole about whether the
Hulk is a giant or not? I'm doing it now. I'll let you
know the results. He's like six foot Like he's like six foot seven foot.
That's not really giant. Frank. Do you have a lot of um
like interaction on tumbler Like just the same three people like all my posts?
They have any uh, which we call it interest in the Hulk. I
get a lot of messages from bots telling me to join their website to meet
ladies. Okay, in the last two days, nine bots started following me.
I'm gonna ask them if they have any feelings about the Hulk how to
make a quiz If I have to pay more, I'm not doing it,
okay, just to just to finish up this movie. No, right,
that's the thing we're doing. Like like Heather in Megan, Um, Heather
in Megan get to a fight because Heather's just like, guess what, I'm
going to revenge, you know, bone down with Roger Um and like Megan
realizes Cash is really boring um, which did give me vibes of um of
russe line like the end with Juliet and um Romeo on the boat. They
have absolutely no chemistry of one another. Um. But so they have a
they have a fight. Liz um stabs Heather in the back of the leg
with a like a corn dog stick um and Rogers pulling some It has to
be called out. We're calling up Bernard for being a piece of crap.
I have to call out Roger for having it just straight up like nice guy
vibes where he's just like I thought we were more, I'm not gonna be
I'm not gonna be nice to you anymore because you have a girl, you
have a boyfriend. Um. Yeah, it kind of sucks. Frank,
I thank you the pole. It's important. Okay. Um, if you
are listening to this within the week, you can go. My tumbler is
super easy. It's the same as my name on on social media. It's
Usbozy and I'm not gonna post anything else until this pole is over. Is
the whole giant or just a large man? Oh? It was like one
hundred percent responds agree with me? Wait, how do I see the result?
I don't know. I just voted. It's like one hundred percent is
a big guy? Apparently, the um what we call it? Oh,
I got one vote because it was me. It's fifty. Now it's zero
out to no votes. Okay, yes, please vote on my pole.
Okay, I'll put the link into the griffinup. Okay, um so um.
Then they're just like oh no, like listens, well, like lizten
Meg's mom and brother are in danger. They go back to they go back
to the house. Um, Megan has like two guns. Trains just go
alba. Then they're like, oh, we have Liz hostage, you know,
and then Parker's guess what, like, guess what I've been playing with
Megan's spy year this entire movie, nobody put a stop to that. I've
been playing with taser and like a Samurai sword, and now I have a
smoke pomb and he or a flashbag I should say, he throws in the
middle of booving room. Everybody's like knocked out by it. Samuel Jackson shows
up, so you know, Megan doesn't get to save the day where you
have the man to do that. And then um, he's like, you
know what, go ahead and take this helicopter to go rescue Roger from a
drive home with his weird dad. Yeah. And also I decided, I
guess I do care. That could change tomorrow, who knows. And he's
like, you know what, it'll be good if you do, like well,
act as a child soldier in a deep cover high school capacity for us.
And I'm just like, huh, I don't like the implication of that
at all. Frank, I have an important question for you. Do you
think I should blaze my pole? What do you mean blaze your pole?
Basically I would see, Um, what's the thing like promoting it on Tumblr?
Blaze it? Yeah? Basically? Um, I mean does it cost
money? Yes? No, sayes he don't waste your money. I'm blazing
this pole, Okay, I have no thoughts about this then the end of
this movie, because I've showed you all my thoughts. I wish we just
watched Depths again. Okay. The thing is, I'll give the Prescotts,
and the Prescotts are not described as seducers. That's true. Okay, fine,
I am going to edit my review. I wish Morby's this movie like
none, just in background scenes, just like skulking around the wall doing vampire
face, delivering stupid lines like it's just your friendly Michael Morbius or whatever he
says. So it's just like it's not even like it follows where he's ever
approaching, you know, our heroes. It's just like he's just vamping in
the back. He's literally vamping in the background. Yeah, it's basically like
someone played the greatest hits, like they're skipping around the DVD menu of Morbius.
God, do you remember when we watched it follows. There's that scene
where they're leaving the their high school and like they just they go outside and
like they see you can see the thing in the background. They don't know
us that at all. Oh, I don't like that, And I don't
like when the very tall man comes in and kills the guy. Yeah.
I think about the very tall man like once every other day at night.
Yeah, this is why I still sleep at the nightlight on. Please fill
out my poll. Okay, um, So, as we've talked about a
couple times, next week we're doing Special Agent Cody Banks. Very excited,
and then close out the month we will be doing Polite Society. Also excited
about that. And if you'd like to write us so, you can write
us at real Team girl talk at gmail dot com. We have a Facebook
group and page that Frank moderates, and until next week I am Suzi Codada Team Coda