WEBVTT

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Hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm back with something for you.

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I'm talking to you, Yeah,
something for you to think about. Physically

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connected but mentally disconnected. I'm talking
about you and your significant others. When

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I say physically, I mean together. You're together physically, but mentally you're

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disconnected. Unfortunately, so many relationships
are this way. So many some people

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been married for fifty and sixty years, physically connected on the same roof,

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but mentally disconnected. That is not
a healthy relationship. That is not a

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good relationship. So many people are
food and believing, oh they've been together

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fifty years, fifty years, they're
happy, they've been together sixty years,

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they're happy. That does not constitute
happiness. It don't. And I'm telling

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you for a fact, I know
so many people who've been together many years,

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many many, many, many years, but they are miserable. They

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don't even like each other. So
it's not always the way it seems.

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Most times is not the way it
seems. You have people that you think

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they're so happy, not just the
ones who've been married for umpteen years,

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but you have some people you see
a couple and because of where they project

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themselves, people really think, oh
my gosh, they are such a happy

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couple. They are so blessed.
They got it going on, and they

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are miserable. They don't even speak
when they get under the same roof.

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No intimacy, no communication, no
nothing, but they put on a good

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facade for the public. Together physically, but disconnected mentally. That's the way

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a lot of relationships are. And
I'm here to tell you that's not a

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healthy relationship. I tell you that
for me, my thoughts are a relationship

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that's based on God. God is
the head. I truly, truly believe

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that I will not settle for anything
less, not just talking it, not

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giving that lip service, but walking
it, living it. I would not

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settle for anything less than that.
He must be an individual who loved the

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Lord and live it. So you
have to know the person that you're being

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involved with. You must know who
you're getting involved with. Most people don't.

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They just get in a relationship feel
good, feel good because of the

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things that person is saying, the
little nibulous anthers that they're giving a lot

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of people get into relationships based on
sex or based on he looks good or

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she looks good. That's not gonna
keep a relationship together. Some people,

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Oh, I got to I have
to know what I'm working with. I

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gotta know what he can do or
what she can do. Sex is not

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gonna keep your relationship together. I
guarantee you it's not going to keep a

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relationship together. Never have, never
will never. It can start off good

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and you getting it all the time, but I promise you that's gonna fail.

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So if that's what it's based on, what you got to fall back

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home nothing because you have no substance, you have no foundation. So for

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me, foundation is God, Jesus
Christ, the Son, the Father.

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But always tell you I know everyone
don't believe. I get that. I

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accept you from who you are.
I'm talking about my preference. If you

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don't, then at least know yourself, love yourself enough to not just get

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in a relationship to be in one, because it's never gonna work. It's

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never gonna work. So many people
more than not settled in their relationships.

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Most people in the world who are
in relationship who say they love each other

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are settling. People settle when they
getting relationships and allow individuals to do any

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and everything to them, talk to
them any kind of way, mess them

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up verbally, emotionally, mentally and
physically. That's not love. That's not

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love. That's why I say people
are connected physically, but they're disconnected mentally.

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That's a fact. Some people are
so far apart mentally. One person

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want one thing, and that's what
they're seeking the relationship based on what they

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want, what they desire, how
they feel. But they're not looking at

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what's actually happening and what they're really
getting. They're not looking at that.

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They're only focused on self. How
I feel, I love him so much,

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I love her so much. I
want to be with her, but

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she's treating me like a dog.
But he's treating me like a dog.

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You're overlooking that because you're so focused
on what you want, how you feel,

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your desires, your emotions and feelings, that you blind yourself to what's

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actually happening. People are just settling
to be in a relationship, settling to

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say I have a book, I
have a man, I have a woman.

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Okay, okay, you can say
that, but that's not a real

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relationship. You're not communicating at all. You're connected physically, but you're disconnected

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mentally. If you're not able to
communicate, you're not able to If you

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can't communicate. First of all,
you can't even get to know each other.

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If you're communication is sex, you're
never gonna get to know who you're

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with. And also, people connect
physically, but they never connect mentally because

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they base the relationship on the physical. So they always have that disconnect because

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they never made that connection. If
you're not jiving, jelly connecting, whatever

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word you want to use. If
you're not doing that with your significant other,

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the whole relationship is headed poor failure. You gotta connect mentally. You

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gotta get to know each other.
You gotta be able to be honest with

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each other. You gotta be able
to know him. He has to get

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to know you on a deep level. Some people get in relationships and never

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know if who they're with wants children. They just get into the relationship,

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never discuss those things. You don't
know if you would a pedophile, You

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don't know. You don't know anything
you get in the relationship. Right now,

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you're all surprised. You are broken
hearted because you didn't ask questions.

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Because people are so focused on those
relationships, being in a relationship, but

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the important thing they never get to
discuss. And then some of you are

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in relationships. You can't even ask
anything. You're walking on agh else.

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That's not a positive relationship. That
is not healthy at all. You're walking

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on eggshells every day. Can't ask
this, can't ask that, because they'll

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go off or they'll shut down on
you. But so many people are accepting

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this behavior because they just want to
be in a relationship. There's nothing going

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on, no intimacy, no communication, no affection, knows nothing, but

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they just want to stay in that
relationship. You need to look at yourself

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being physically connected with somebody but mentally
disconnected. That is not conducive at all

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for a healthy relationship. In no
shape, form or fashion at all.

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You're totally doing yourself a disservice being
in a relation and shit like that.

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So many people give years and years
and years of their time only to feel

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lonely, unhappy, unsatisfied, got
the huge void. They give years and

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years and years of their time and
energy to someone, but they're so separated

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and disconnected from that person. You
know the old saying, Well, it's

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not really an old saying, but
I'm saying figuratively speaking, the old saying,

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make it makes sense. It makes
no sense at all, not to

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me, a don't it makes sense. To people with that type of mindset,

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it makes perfect sense to them.
But to a mature person who know

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who he is or she is,
it don't make sense. It does not

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make sense to being a relationship with
someone you cannot communicate get. It does

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not make sense to being a relationship
with someone there's no intimacy at all.

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When I say intimacy, I'm not
talking sex. Intimacy happens long before sex.

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I'm not talking about that. I'm
talking about showing affection, being their

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support of quality times romance. So
many people don't have been in their relationships

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they're significant. Other look at them
like they're crazy. You don't get away

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from me, you know, and
not have me? Why would you want

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that for yourself? Yet many people
do. They stay in those dead,

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in unhappy, loveless relationship, connected
physically but disconnected mentally. So tell me

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how that's good. I challenge you, tell me how that's good. There's

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no way you can slice it up
to make it good. It is not.

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But people put in a lot of
years, a lot of time and

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energy trying to make these types of
relationships work, and it's always always one

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sided because if people wanted their relationships
to work, they'll be on one accord

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working on it to make it work. But most times it's one sided.

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That's not good, that's not healthy, no way. But most people are

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in one side of relationships, hurting, crying, miserable because they're not getting

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anything that they actually need or one
and they're feeling the effects of it.

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But they stay right there, hoping
and praying, wishing that their significant other

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will change. When it's you who
needs to change. I just put it

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out there, not to make it
angry, but I want you to think

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about what you are doing to yourself
itself inflicted. Does it make sense to

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be in a relationship with someone connected
physically but disconnected mentally. Come on,

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most people are so far on separate
plane, so far no kind of nothing

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going on, can't even have an
intellectual conversation together because they never cultivated that

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in their relationship. Their relationships were
built on something else. So there's a

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lot some couples don't even know about
each other because they never discussed those things.

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Again, connected physically but disconnected mentally. If you're disconnected mentally, I'm

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telling you done deal. It's not
gonna work. It's not. Your significant

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other must be able to talk to
you. You must hear them, They

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must hear you. They must be
able to talk to you, and you

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need to conversate about all issues,
important things. They should be to come

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to you about anything, because you're
supposed to have their back, they're supposed

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to have your back. You cannot
ever build that connection by being disconnected.

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You never will connected physically being under
the same room or coming together. If

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you're dating, coming together, spending
time, but you're spending time doing everything

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other than communicating getting to know each
other. Some people, you're simply armed,

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candid. They want to take you
around or flunch. You'na say,

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hey, this my man or this
my woman, but there's no connection there.

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Some people are not even connected physically, but they're still in that relationship,

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still trying to hold on. And
most times it's one person who wanted,

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but the other person because they have
so many unresolved issues, their whole

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agenda is something else. People so
worried about their significant others they lose themselves

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in their significant others. When their
significant others are off in left field,

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off in left field, but you've
given everything, you're draining yourself some of

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you have such mental stress if it
has turned into mental illnesses because you're losing

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yourself. You've lost yourself in your
significant other when they are a million miles

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away mentally from you. Some of
you have significant others come home to you

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every night, but you have no
connection with them mentally. Some of you

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don't even speak, and you're under
the same rule. I know somebody hear

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me can relate. I can relate
because I did it for a spell in

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my marriage when I made up my
mind and league. But before I left,

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I was already checked out mentally and
physically. So I know what happens

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if it happened to me, I
know what happens to many many people.

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I know it does. But for
me, I learned from every situation,

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good or bad, and I'm telling
you I don't go backwards ever ever,

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because for one thing, Jesus is
the head of my life, and I'm

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always always gonna be the best that
I can be for myself. When you

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know that, you know that,
you know that you've dealt with all of

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that mess, and you are truly
a new creature. Everything is totally totally

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different. You see things differently,
you view people differently. Everything is different.

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You no longer think the way you
used to think, and no one

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will make you feel otherwise, because
for me, God is the head of

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my life, not man. You
know, I know what the Bible says,

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but God is still the head over
both of us, man and woman.

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So you gotta know yourself. You
got to know yourself. You,

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it's a must. When you don't, when you haven't figured you out,

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you will open yourself up to so
much nonsense, total foolishness for love when

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love hasn't even stepped anywhere near the
equation. It has nothing to do with

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love, but you think it does
because of who you are, truly,

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who you truly are, not that
faith person you pretend to be. But

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who you truly are, who you
truly are, lies within where that unresolved

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is that? So just know.
There are many people who are in relationships

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connected physically but totally disconnected mentally.
That's not a relationship. You may think

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it is, but it's not.
It's not, but it's what a lot

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of people are settling for. There
are far more unhappy people in relationships than

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there are happy people. So there
you go, There you have it.

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That's all I'm saying on it.
You take it in, think about it,

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let it get inside your soul,
and hopefully some people want to change

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their lives, because if you don't
choose to change you, you will always

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go through life opening yourself up to
the drama of someone else, the shenanigans

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of someone else, the foolishness of
someone That's the chaos that someone else will

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bring in your life. If you
don't know yourself, if you haven't figured

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you out, if you don't love
yourself, you will always, always,

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always be an individual who have subjected
his and herself to this drama of someone

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else. That's why I always call
it self inflicted pains, because you open

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yourself up to it for whatever reasons. If they don't treat you right and

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you go along with with it,
you open yourself up to that. So

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being connected physically but disconnected mentally,
you're not together. You're not together,

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there's no solid foundation. I'm leaving
it right there. Please share this episode.

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Thank you so much for listening.
Much love to you, you,

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you and you sincerely, more and
more and more and more and more.

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My wish, my desire, my
hope is for you to share my episodes.

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Get people are thinking, what are
you contributing to your own life,

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what are you opening yourself up to, what are you allowing and accepting?

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What have you signed on for?
People want to say, oh, I

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didn't see the signs in the red
flags. There was no signs of red

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flags. Lies that are always signed
the red fact. You may have missed

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them, but they were there.
Thank you again. I'll talk with you

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on the next episode. Take care
of yourself. I end every episode the

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same and I hope you do it. I really do thinking it m