Hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm back with something for you.
I'm talking to you, Yeah, something for you to think about. Physically
connected but mentally disconnected. I'm talking about you and your significant others. When
I say physically, I mean together. You're together physically, but mentally you're
disconnected. Unfortunately, so many relationships are this way. So many some people
been married for fifty and sixty years, physically connected on the same roof,
but mentally disconnected. That is not a healthy relationship. That is not a
good relationship. So many people are food and believing, oh they've been together
fifty years, fifty years, they're happy, they've been together sixty years,
they're happy. That does not constitute happiness. It don't. And I'm telling
you for a fact, I know so many people who've been together many years,
many many, many, many years, but they are miserable. They
don't even like each other. So it's not always the way it seems.
Most times is not the way it seems. You have people that you think
they're so happy, not just the ones who've been married for umpteen years,
but you have some people you see a couple and because of where they project
themselves, people really think, oh my gosh, they are such a happy
couple. They are so blessed. They got it going on, and they
are miserable. They don't even speak when they get under the same roof.
No intimacy, no communication, no nothing, but they put on a good
facade for the public. Together physically, but disconnected mentally. That's the way
a lot of relationships are. And I'm here to tell you that's not a
healthy relationship. I tell you that for me, my thoughts are a relationship
that's based on God. God is the head. I truly, truly believe
that I will not settle for anything less, not just talking it, not
giving that lip service, but walking it, living it. I would not
settle for anything less than that. He must be an individual who loved the
Lord and live it. So you have to know the person that you're being
involved with. You must know who you're getting involved with. Most people don't.
They just get in a relationship feel good, feel good because of the
things that person is saying, the little nibulous anthers that they're giving a lot
of people get into relationships based on sex or based on he looks good or
she looks good. That's not gonna keep a relationship together. Some people,
Oh, I got to I have to know what I'm working with. I
gotta know what he can do or what she can do. Sex is not
gonna keep your relationship together. I guarantee you it's not going to keep a
relationship together. Never have, never will never. It can start off good
and you getting it all the time, but I promise you that's gonna fail.
So if that's what it's based on, what you got to fall back
home nothing because you have no substance, you have no foundation. So for
me, foundation is God, Jesus Christ, the Son, the Father.
But always tell you I know everyone don't believe. I get that. I
accept you from who you are. I'm talking about my preference. If you
don't, then at least know yourself, love yourself enough to not just get
in a relationship to be in one, because it's never gonna work. It's
never gonna work. So many people more than not settled in their relationships.
Most people in the world who are in relationship who say they love each other
are settling. People settle when they getting relationships and allow individuals to do any
and everything to them, talk to them any kind of way, mess them
up verbally, emotionally, mentally and physically. That's not love. That's not
love. That's why I say people are connected physically, but they're disconnected mentally.
That's a fact. Some people are so far apart mentally. One person
want one thing, and that's what they're seeking the relationship based on what they
want, what they desire, how they feel. But they're not looking at
what's actually happening and what they're really getting. They're not looking at that.
They're only focused on self. How I feel, I love him so much,
I love her so much. I want to be with her, but
she's treating me like a dog. But he's treating me like a dog.
You're overlooking that because you're so focused on what you want, how you feel,
your desires, your emotions and feelings, that you blind yourself to what's
actually happening. People are just settling to be in a relationship, settling to
say I have a book, I have a man, I have a woman.
Okay, okay, you can say that, but that's not a real
relationship. You're not communicating at all. You're connected physically, but you're disconnected
mentally. If you're not able to communicate, you're not able to If you
can't communicate. First of all, you can't even get to know each other.
If you're communication is sex, you're never gonna get to know who you're
with. And also, people connect physically, but they never connect mentally because
they base the relationship on the physical. So they always have that disconnect because
they never made that connection. If you're not jiving, jelly connecting, whatever
word you want to use. If you're not doing that with your significant other,
the whole relationship is headed poor failure. You gotta connect mentally. You
gotta get to know each other. You gotta be able to be honest with
each other. You gotta be able to know him. He has to get
to know you on a deep level. Some people get in relationships and never
know if who they're with wants children. They just get into the relationship,
never discuss those things. You don't know if you would a pedophile, You
don't know. You don't know anything you get in the relationship. Right now,
you're all surprised. You are broken hearted because you didn't ask questions.
Because people are so focused on those relationships, being in a relationship, but
the important thing they never get to discuss. And then some of you are
in relationships. You can't even ask anything. You're walking on agh else.
That's not a positive relationship. That is not healthy at all. You're walking
on eggshells every day. Can't ask this, can't ask that, because they'll
go off or they'll shut down on you. But so many people are accepting
this behavior because they just want to be in a relationship. There's nothing going
on, no intimacy, no communication, no affection, knows nothing, but
they just want to stay in that relationship. You need to look at yourself
being physically connected with somebody but mentally disconnected. That is not conducive at all
for a healthy relationship. In no shape, form or fashion at all.
You're totally doing yourself a disservice being in a relation and shit like that.
So many people give years and years and years of their time only to feel
lonely, unhappy, unsatisfied, got the huge void. They give years and
years and years of their time and energy to someone, but they're so separated
and disconnected from that person. You know the old saying, Well, it's
not really an old saying, but I'm saying figuratively speaking, the old saying,
make it makes sense. It makes no sense at all, not to
me, a don't it makes sense. To people with that type of mindset,
it makes perfect sense to them. But to a mature person who know
who he is or she is, it don't make sense. It does not
make sense to being a relationship with someone you cannot communicate get. It does
not make sense to being a relationship with someone there's no intimacy at all.
When I say intimacy, I'm not talking sex. Intimacy happens long before sex.
I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about showing affection, being their
support of quality times romance. So many people don't have been in their relationships
they're significant. Other look at them like they're crazy. You don't get away
from me, you know, and not have me? Why would you want
that for yourself? Yet many people do. They stay in those dead,
in unhappy, loveless relationship, connected physically but disconnected mentally. So tell me
how that's good. I challenge you, tell me how that's good. There's
no way you can slice it up to make it good. It is not.
But people put in a lot of years, a lot of time and
energy trying to make these types of relationships work, and it's always always one
sided because if people wanted their relationships to work, they'll be on one accord
working on it to make it work. But most times it's one sided.
That's not good, that's not healthy, no way. But most people are
in one side of relationships, hurting, crying, miserable because they're not getting
anything that they actually need or one and they're feeling the effects of it.
But they stay right there, hoping and praying, wishing that their significant other
will change. When it's you who needs to change. I just put it
out there, not to make it angry, but I want you to think
about what you are doing to yourself itself inflicted. Does it make sense to
be in a relationship with someone connected physically but disconnected mentally. Come on,
most people are so far on separate plane, so far no kind of nothing
going on, can't even have an intellectual conversation together because they never cultivated that
in their relationship. Their relationships were built on something else. So there's a
lot some couples don't even know about each other because they never discussed those things.
Again, connected physically but disconnected mentally. If you're disconnected mentally, I'm
telling you done deal. It's not gonna work. It's not. Your significant
other must be able to talk to you. You must hear them, They
must hear you. They must be able to talk to you, and you
need to conversate about all issues, important things. They should be to come
to you about anything, because you're supposed to have their back, they're supposed
to have your back. You cannot ever build that connection by being disconnected.
You never will connected physically being under the same room or coming together. If
you're dating, coming together, spending time, but you're spending time doing everything
other than communicating getting to know each other. Some people, you're simply armed,
candid. They want to take you around or flunch. You'na say,
hey, this my man or this my woman, but there's no connection there.
Some people are not even connected physically, but they're still in that relationship,
still trying to hold on. And most times it's one person who wanted,
but the other person because they have so many unresolved issues, their whole
agenda is something else. People so worried about their significant others they lose themselves
in their significant others. When their significant others are off in left field,
off in left field, but you've given everything, you're draining yourself some of
you have such mental stress if it has turned into mental illnesses because you're losing
yourself. You've lost yourself in your significant other when they are a million miles
away mentally from you. Some of you have significant others come home to you
every night, but you have no connection with them mentally. Some of you
don't even speak, and you're under the same rule. I know somebody hear
me can relate. I can relate because I did it for a spell in
my marriage when I made up my mind and league. But before I left,
I was already checked out mentally and physically. So I know what happens
if it happened to me, I know what happens to many many people.
I know it does. But for me, I learned from every situation,
good or bad, and I'm telling you I don't go backwards ever ever,
because for one thing, Jesus is the head of my life, and I'm
always always gonna be the best that I can be for myself. When you
know that, you know that, you know that you've dealt with all of
that mess, and you are truly a new creature. Everything is totally totally
different. You see things differently, you view people differently. Everything is different.
You no longer think the way you used to think, and no one
will make you feel otherwise, because for me, God is the head of
my life, not man. You know, I know what the Bible says,
but God is still the head over both of us, man and woman.
So you gotta know yourself. You got to know yourself. You,
it's a must. When you don't, when you haven't figured you out,
you will open yourself up to so much nonsense, total foolishness for love when
love hasn't even stepped anywhere near the equation. It has nothing to do with
love, but you think it does because of who you are, truly,
who you truly are, not that faith person you pretend to be. But
who you truly are, who you truly are, lies within where that unresolved
is that? So just know. There are many people who are in relationships
connected physically but totally disconnected mentally. That's not a relationship. You may think
it is, but it's not. It's not, but it's what a lot
of people are settling for. There are far more unhappy people in relationships than
there are happy people. So there you go, There you have it.
That's all I'm saying on it. You take it in, think about it,
let it get inside your soul, and hopefully some people want to change
their lives, because if you don't choose to change you, you will always
go through life opening yourself up to the drama of someone else, the shenanigans
of someone else, the foolishness of someone That's the chaos that someone else will
bring in your life. If you don't know yourself, if you haven't figured
you out, if you don't love yourself, you will always, always,
always be an individual who have subjected his and herself to this drama of someone
else. That's why I always call it self inflicted pains, because you open
yourself up to it for whatever reasons. If they don't treat you right and
you go along with with it, you open yourself up to that. So
being connected physically but disconnected mentally, you're not together. You're not together,
there's no solid foundation. I'm leaving it right there. Please share this episode.
Thank you so much for listening. Much love to you, you,
you and you sincerely, more and more and more and more and more.
My wish, my desire, my hope is for you to share my episodes.
Get people are thinking, what are you contributing to your own life,
what are you opening yourself up to, what are you allowing and accepting?
What have you signed on for? People want to say, oh, I
didn't see the signs in the red flags. There was no signs of red
flags. Lies that are always signed the red fact. You may have missed
them, but they were there. Thank you again. I'll talk with you
on the next episode. Take care of yourself. I end every episode the
same and I hope you do it. I really do thinking it m