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Hello and welkiny all. Oh,
I wish there was a Valentine's Day hymn

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or a carol, But there's no
songs for it. No, they're sharn't

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unless there's like, I don't know, baby, take my breath outway,

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let's get it all. We're all
fancitive people. It's so much tune understanding,

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sugar Betty. But I mean,
it's a song about two people who

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just why don't they just want to
get it on? I guess, Benny

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stop, I don't know what's in
me. It's it's the feeling of the

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season. I guess it is.
I guess. I guess I can forgive

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you for this one. Oh my
goodness, Now I know the first thing

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you all all are saying, Wait
a minute, haven't we already had Valentine's

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Day? Well, well you're right. Well you're right, and I'll tell

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you what. For those of you
who are new to our podcast, Tabitha,

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why don't you tell them why Candy
Chat does things a little different?

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Well, how to y'all, we're
Candy Chat. I am Tabitha Hutchinson and

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I'm Betty Abersaw, and we do
things a little differently just because we know

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what's up, that's right. We
know how it's how it goes. And

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one of those things that we know
is how to shop for cad Candy.

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Pricing is the name of the game. And only a fool buys before the

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holiday, right, oh my goodness, specially Valentine. Oh my goodness.

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If candy prices through the roof,
oh goodness. You you'd think it's through

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the roof for all the other holidays, and you'd be right. But Valentine's

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Day is just through the roof too, And there's nothing sweeter than the day

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after a holiday when all the candy
is half off, at least half off.

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And you know what, if they
stick around for another week, you

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can get them up to Oh my
goodness, I cannot wait. We're not

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quite there yet, but I have
my eye on Piggley Dog. I have

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been checking those prices every day.
And I'll tell you what. Right now,

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that Walter, who works in the
pricing department, he sees me coming

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and he knows why I'm there.
And I said, Walter, you can't

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wait forever. Someday these prices will
have to be lowered and I'll be here.

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And he didn't talk. I never
heard Walter talk, not a word.

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He just sits up in the little
office looking through that tiny window with

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that little gun that he's gotten in
stickers. I know you can hear me,

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Walter, Well, I can't hear
you right now. Came with the

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head phones. I hope he's a
fan. But for as often as we

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mentioned the great prices and excellent selection
at Pigley Dog, he should be.

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And that is where I got this
bountiful harvest of Valentine's Day treats. Oh

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and you know why I got him
fifty percent off. But you know what's

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funny, Nothing sweeter than a discount. But you know what's funny at Piglie

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Dog. You can't get them discounts
unless you've got an oint Bark card.

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And now I use my oint Bok
card all the time. I got a

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lot of points saved up. But
I don't think that the candy discounts counts

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towards points on your oint Bok card. Well, i'll tell you what the

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oint Bark says. Tom has been
terrific. M If you don't have an

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oint Bark card, you're just dumb. You should get one right now.

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You go to their customer service y'all
have to do. Give him your address,

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you know I put mine on my
key chain. Well, sure that's

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what they got them little FIBs for
you can just take it out and swipe

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it. Well, I'll tell you
what I do, like to swipe my

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tongue across candy. Me too.
Let's get started. What do we have

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this week, Betty? Well,
this week we have a sumptuous selection of

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Valentine's Day rompous. First, we
have a candy I can best describe as

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experimental and fraught with danger. Oh, how frivolous. It's a Valentine's Nerds

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rope? How do they get all
them nerds to line up in a row

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while they wrap them all the way
around? Gummy Gummy Gummy holds loving place,

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nerdy love. So I we're taking
a look at this thing, and

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it's already just it's beautiful. I
want to hang it from my mantle,

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but I know I'm gonna eat it. Yeah, and you'll get ants.

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You're you're right at time, and
I cannot afford another trip from that exterminator.

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No, I'll tell you what.
If there's one side effect that we

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have to deal with, I candy
Chat, it's ants occupational hazard, but

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I'll take it. Also, we
have this week Pearson's Mint Patty hearts,

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Pearson's, Who's Pearson's fifty percent off? That's who okay off brand put it

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in my hand. That's what I
say. This continues a proud tradition of

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every single holiday adjust a repackage a
peppermint patty and call it relevant. Yeah,

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that's true. They even tried to
put those little messages on the package

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where the heart has a message on
it. But this is just a candy

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heart filled with mint. And I
don't even doesn't have these messages. Look

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at these. This one says you
plus me equals harpy. And then I

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don't think these are made in America. I can't read this love you two,

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love the letter you, the number
two moon and black. I don't.

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I don't think that one. Yeah, that that raises a few questionable

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specters. And then this last one
on here says I love you four.

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How it's four? It's that football
player. Oh, I see these are

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well, you know what, check
the expiration day because these these are old.

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That's all right, because I do
I think he's a he's a stand

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up gentleman, all right, well, let's see what else. Boy,

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he's got a good heart and a
good arm. H oh, bang bang,

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someone's at the door. It's an
old family friend. There's an old

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there's sold there's a there's an old
friend at the door. Oh, who

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is it? Who is it?
Who is who is who's that? Oh?

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My goodness, you're right. It's
M and M's cherry flavored and mums

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and that's they're they're Valentine's M and
m's. They're come in burgundy and red

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and they're cherry artificially flavored. Are
the heart shaped? Well, let's take

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a look in the bag, and
no, they are regular M and M

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shape, which is like a squashed
ball. With all the money the M

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and MS has, And you know
they got money because they are everywhere and

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have been for years, Why can't
they just put it in a Why can't

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they just indent one end of it? Well? Are you ready to just

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turn this argument on your ear,
Tabitha, because I'll tell you why because

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here in the US of A,
we know how to make M and m's.

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Now, if you want heart shape, we're gonna have to outsource those

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jobs. Really, would you do
that? Tab Would you do that?

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I'm a patriot, so no,
exactly. And see that's the problem.

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People do not understand candy manufacturing techniques. And that's why I consider this podcast

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to be educational. Now, those
people over at iTunes keep insisting it's not

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educational, and it just makes me
matter than a cat in a mannaise factory.

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Oh, somebody's been watching TLC.
You are correct. Now let's pull

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into the grand tradition. I'll tell
you what about the M M and MS.

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If anybody's repackaging anything from holiday to
holiday, just throwing a little cheery

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flavor in there, that just makes
a difference. I'll tell you what.

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I'm excited because while you can find
Eminem's for any holiday, you can even

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custom order colors if you're so inclined. Didn't they have like gingerbread Eminem's Exactly?

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It's when they put a special flavoring
in that I get particularly excited about

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another sumptuous treat from the Mars Corporation. Thanks Mars. And finally, last

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but not least, as long as
I've been alive, there's but one man

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that I consider to be my Valentine. And I'm not a phrase two man.

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I consider my Valentines, and I'll
tell you what, I'm not afraid

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to share either of them with Tabitha, Jesus and Russell Stover. Oh oh

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yeah, Russell Stover, red Rover, red Rover, send Over, Russell

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Stover. That's what we always say, Well, we always say it,

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that's what we always say. And
here we have. They're assorted fine chocolates.

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Now I'm gonna tell you what.
We've already opened this up. And

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as we've said so many times,
no map, No, it's just a

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mind field to taste, son of
a biscuit. Careful, I'm just pissed,

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Betty. Pissed, Betty, Betty, calm yourself. This ain't nothing

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to get all. You wouldn't You
wouldn't walk into a grocery store with a

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blindfold on and just say, well, I hope this doesn't give me hypertension.

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I mean, and why would Why
would you expect people to just wander

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through an authorted box of chocolates assuming
everything's gonna work out all right? It

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fills me with anxiety. Well,
it's all right, we can go through

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it together. About that tap,
well, I'll say that as a surprise.

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Okay, your mystery's mysterious. Let's
start things off with the nerds.

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Row. Okay, I like that
because it's gonna have a different flavor and

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texture from all the rest of the
stuff that we're enjoying. The aroma is

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alluring of refined sugar and red number
five. It does smell sweet mmmm,

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And I don't think it's too much
of a stretch to assume that the red

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gummy might also give cherry flavor.
All right, here we go show,

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all right, all right, now
it's making my tight heart, not me.

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It's going straight to my brain.
How is it possible? It's bypassing

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everything. It feels like it's settling
right behind my eyes. Betty, I

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think I can see time. This
is like what meth and fat amines like

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on the Discovery Channel specials about meth
and fetamine. Oh my goodness, whoa

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ah, It's like that scene from
the Matt Tree. It's like the candy

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took a bye to me. Who
whoo who. I've never been surfing,

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but I imagine that's what it's like
in your mouth with your tongue on a

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board. Oh my god, you
just you you are one hundred percent correct.

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You just plucked my thoughts out of
my head and spoke them. I

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think it's that matrix doing that.
Oh lordy, lordy who? All right,

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well, let's just call that as
an explosion of sweet flavors, A

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confusing on sweet Betty. It's like
it's like sugarcubes in a shotgun. Oh.

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I was just thinking that, Well, this is there's something else to

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these. No, I don't even
want to touch secrets an ingredient. If

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I'll tell you what, If you
are ready to ride skateboards and live in

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extreme lifestyle, and by extreme I
mean spelled with the X first, the

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way the children do, then you
should be you know what, those guys

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that are on snowboards should be eating
these all the time. If they're not

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already, because it's the dollar already. Bungee jumpers, people who who like

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the skydive, people who turn themselves
into them human squirrels, shark wrestlers.

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I don't trust them. I don't
trust them. See them skirting around them

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mountains. I'll tell you what,
squirrels m it's it's for not I'll tell

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you there's people that's more. But
it's not for me, for me,

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not for any godden fear Christian out
there who I can't go to church.

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Now you better go to church.
The washdam sins out of your mouth.

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Goodness, I don't know know what, you know what, Let's move on,

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let's come back to it later.
Moving on to something that at least

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offers very little in the way of
surprises. What's that the Valentine's Mint patty

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from off brand Pierson Piersons. Oh, I've been eating candy, as you

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know a long time, and I
ain't never heard of Piersons. I so

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rarely read labels. Piersons sounds like
a store where you bube pants. Well

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it's shaped like a heart, so
that's adorable. It's already a step above

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the quote unquote wreath we had it
Chris time. I know that was a

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terrible wreath. Well look look on
the inside. It's pank oh adorable.

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No mente. Yeah, I was
kind of hoping for a little strawberry kick.

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I'll tell you what. This is
just like watching when they have Wheel

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of Fortune. But it's like in
Las Vegas. Oh do you think,

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oh, well, this will be
different, but it very much is not

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different. No, this is just
like Wheel of Fortune in Las Vegas.

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Rst L in easy the hair pilgrim. I'd like to buy a vow.

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Oh it's far Ooh that was menty. I think somebody just bankrupted their flavor.

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I'd like to solve the puzzle.
Bland. You know there's no rule

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it says we have to eat the
whole thing, but I feel like there

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is because we do. I don't
know how to respond to that. Up

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next, it's time for Eminem's Cherry
Valentine. Oh boy, goodness, all

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00:14:05.159 --> 00:14:13.000
right, non heart shaped Eminem's.
Let it go tab Now are my eyes

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deceiving me? Are these slightly larger
than a standard Eminem? I think they're

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a little bit larger. I think
they're about to size them peanut butter Eminem's.

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Oh good call, They're so good, but they're still no Hardsham.

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The aroma is teasing. That is
some cherry chocolate mixed in together. M.

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One at a time is best at
a time? M M. They

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share our sweet and cherry flavored Mmmm. You know that cherry's not very overpowering,

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mixes pretty well with that chocolate.
I'm glad that I ate eighteen At

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Monce Well, they said cherry flavored
Eminem's, and what we got was cherry

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flavored eminams the package. Don't mmmmmmmm
what a fun and interesting treat. M

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Now is this a session treat?
Could you sitting and enjoy this for the

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entire night? I'll tell you I
don't think I could. I'd enjoy probably

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less than I just ate. But
the cherry flavor is very powerful. It

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stays in the mouth, It does
not vacate the premises. It's squats.

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He got flavor squatters, Little cherry
hoboes just running all around you, your

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place that you need to sail.
Well, let's see if we can't run

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those hoboes out of town with the
Russell Stover Pinkerton's Oh boy, go out

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of here, hoboes. You beat
at you hoboes. Oh well, here

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comes our dream date, Russell.
Oh, how to Russell? You're looking

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knife and svel m. I just
wish he didn't lie to me all the

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time about the contents of his chocolates. What matters is what's inside, and

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you can't find out till they're already
in. It's true. None of what

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you're saying is false. Well,
I told you I had a little secret.

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Oh is it time for that?
Mmm? What's your secret? It's

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time fault? You get a lot
of reward points from your oint bark card

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I did, but I'm saving those
for the future. Oh, I would

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like to tamped, Tabitha. Oh, here we go now, in the

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interest of us both trying each kind
of candy I've already selected, unfortunately and

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against my will at random. Oh
a chocolate from this box, which leaves

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seven pieces for you, Tabitha.
You think you can eat them all at

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once? Oh? All at once? I think you could. Happy Valentine's

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Day from Russell Stover. Now allow
him into your mouth if he if he's

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given me my Valentine's I can't refuse
him. M mmmm, oh my lord

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in him here? Look at these
are bigger than I thought they'd be.

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Well, I'm gonna eat my chocolate. These are like little Miami roaches in

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a box. What are these?
Oh goodness? How are you gonna try

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to suss it out? Are you
gonna You're gonna be like Sherlock Holmes?

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But for chocolate, Well, I
guess I'm gonna go with the darker ones

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first, because those are the least
favorite. Okay, and I've got around

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what appears to be milk chocolate.
Oh okay, Now when you say all

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at once. What do you mean
mins fell with some sort of strawberry cream

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or find it delicious? All right? The first one, it's kind of

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a no goodie. M m no, it's hazel nut. Keep going checond

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one. Then it goes well,
taste like hazel Then it goes faster,

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tap faster. All at once doesn't
mean over the course of six hours.

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I try to and it goes Okay, it's a good thing. I got

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denthers around my cheek will be hurt. And tell it to Russell and it

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goes. Third one, Oh,
this was sure? Why are you taking

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bats? Just shoving in? It
would just stop me in the trucks?

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Goodness, that's that's caramel horrible?
Isn't it interesting how people pronounce that differently

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and half of them are wrong.
How people see it was a trick sentence.

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I was just leaving it open ended. Fan in the fires, fanish

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it. It srowed me down.
And this fiction, it's not gonna forget

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this candid chats not for quitters,
tab what's next? Don't let Russell down.

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I think this one's trying to be
cherry maybe in a caramel eat it

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real che landmine it is, I
tell you what, this is gonna be

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a very solid honestly, three bites
one chocolate? Really hold you this hout's

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gonna be I told you it's stopping
me. Wouldn't milady? Also care for

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some fine silverware and a porcelain plate. Oh you're a man, just sty

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of chocolates. I did not mean
to a fan, don't you suit me?

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Betty? You know I used to
know this girl at Tabitha and she

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loved candy, and she just loved
to eat candy. I wonder where,

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hey you who, where's Tabitha?
Where's my friend Tabitha? Who would have

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just taken that that box of chocolates
out to the wood shed and made it

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regret ever being packaged in the first
place? Betty? The fire number five

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much easier? Oh good? Is
it a cream? Is that a cream?

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Cream? Cream? It's another?
This one's like a milky Oh i'm

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ya, I'm yam happy. Left
two left hooked around the square one.

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I think you should shove them both
in your mouth at the same time.

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That's just me talking. I'm not
the one holding the box. No you're

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not. How was yours, by
the way, um actually quite tasty?

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I think it was strawberry. It
was a cream cream, not a nougat,

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not a newgat, a cream cream, a caramel cream cream. Didn't

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stop you? You're stallin. Mmmm
this one's I can look away too.

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Oh part you You mash those together. It's like one of those almost candy

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00:20:27.720 --> 00:20:36.519
bars. I'll drop. Oh oh
no, land mine boom in your mouth.

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M. I just played mind sweeper
and lost in the last bottle.

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Russell Stover blew up in your mouth. Oh no, it's cocabut Russell,

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00:20:45.079 --> 00:20:56.000
leave her alone. M ride a
coconut would be last. Oh cruelly capricious

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fight. Why half the seat detarture, My sweet Tabatha? Oh now I

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00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:03.960
feel terrible for pushing you into this. What have I did? Russell,

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00:21:04.000 --> 00:21:17.200
though, has forsaken me? M. This is why nobody likes Valentine's Day.

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I feel like Russell just drove up
in his Pontiac Grand Prix, saw

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I'm was standing there waiting, walking
towards the car, and then just drove

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00:21:25.799 --> 00:21:30.599
off. He showed up with with
fine words and and velvet suits, and

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when he left it was all I'll
see you later and muddy boots, oh

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my man, and oh my goodness. Well, while it's fresh in our

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minds. I suppose it's time for
us to pick the winners the four.

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Well, I'm gonna ride off the
bat say, immediate disqualification to nerds ropes.

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You can't give that to children unless
they're lazy. If you need to

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like make a child Mowa lawn feed
them that in the neighborhoods too. Maybe

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00:22:00.960 --> 00:22:04.319
Melan the lawns a bad choice because
they get there's blades involved. Yeah,

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and it's not a candy. It's
a narcotic Yeah it is. I mean,

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I'm I'm gonna have those crazy dreams
again. I feel like I could

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see in three D. It was
like living with those HD glasses on,

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but I didn't have the glasses on. Oh gosh, how can you fathom?

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Oh well, I'll say this then. My favorite of the Valentine's Them

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00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:34.480
candy would have to be Cherry Eminem's
Oh Me Too, Me Too. However,

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I was not really impressed with any
of the offerings. I felt much

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like the holiday itself. It was
a lot of hoop law and it led

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just to let down. Yeah yeah, after the Eminem's I Love him but

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I hate him? Russell Stover,
Russell, why why do you have to

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00:22:52.160 --> 00:22:56.599
be so complicated. I can never
understand what's going on inside those chocolates in

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00:22:56.640 --> 00:22:59.359
your mind. I can't stay mad
at Russell. I mean neither I will

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00:22:59.400 --> 00:23:03.240
go back to you. So,
Russell Stover, you'd be the queen of

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00:23:03.240 --> 00:23:06.480
her hearts if you just put a
damn map in the box. Well,

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Betty, I mean you can say
it another way. An I'm sorry.

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It's just because I will for the
next week in my mind. See the

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00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:17.599
look of suffering on your face and
betrayal as you bite into another Brooklyn promise

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00:23:17.640 --> 00:23:22.440
from Russell Stover. That's true,
It's so true. I accuse you.

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00:23:22.519 --> 00:23:26.240
Coconut, Coconut. I can't believe
it's the last one I put in my

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00:23:26.279 --> 00:23:33.599
mouth, so rude and behind.
That was the yawn of the year,

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00:23:33.359 --> 00:23:37.559
the mint Patty. Oh hey,
everybody, wake up the neighbors. Get

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00:23:37.559 --> 00:23:42.440
the kids out of college. It's
heart shaped now. Whoop de la la.

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00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:48.680
Everybody throw your shoes at a lamp
post. Time to set fire to

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00:23:48.759 --> 00:23:52.480
your cars. Pearson's. There's a
reason we don't know who you are.

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00:23:52.720 --> 00:23:59.119
Yes, stay anonymous, off Brander
Pearson's. If you're gonna keep doing it,

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00:23:59.200 --> 00:24:03.359
put some labor in there. Exact
strawberry, a lesson from M and

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00:24:03.599 --> 00:24:07.200
m's put something in there. It's
red. It's the most delicious of labor.

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00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:12.240
Punch, fruit punch, fruit punch. Oh my goodness, there's a

295
00:24:12.279 --> 00:24:18.640
lot of options. Pomegranate that's a
popular flavor that's supposed to cure cancer,

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00:24:18.839 --> 00:24:26.920
passion fruit cherry again, chocolate covered
strawberry. Yeah, anything would be better

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00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:33.079
than that horrid riched mint. Chocolate
minty mint mint. Go back to Christmas.

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At least you makes sense. Then, Well, for this episode,

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00:24:37.200 --> 00:24:41.920
oh my goodness's and I'll tell you
what, We're gonna have to go to

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00:24:41.000 --> 00:24:45.920
candy gym because it's time for one
of the toughest workouts of the year.

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00:24:45.039 --> 00:24:49.319
It's just around the corner the diabeta
stash. Well, that's one name for

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00:24:49.400 --> 00:24:56.839
it. I call it Easter Easter. I don't know if I can get

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00:24:56.880 --> 00:25:00.599
the taste of all them rus stovers
out of my mouth before East rolls around.

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00:25:00.599 --> 00:25:03.519
Well, we're gonna have to train
and run up and downstairs and sing

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00:25:03.559 --> 00:25:07.119
I have a tiger to each other
because we just have to down down town,

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00:25:07.359 --> 00:25:15.480
downtown town. I don't down Towntown's
On the radio, I listen to

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00:25:15.599 --> 00:25:21.559
Joel Lousten I have the tiger.
That's that Katie Purry. You don't want

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00:25:21.559 --> 00:25:26.720
to listen to Katie Purry. She's
a hush, she's a young woman.

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00:25:26.920 --> 00:25:30.960
She's got who has hanging out all
over the place. She is asserting herself

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00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:33.319
as an individual young lady, and
she does not yet have the maturity to

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00:25:33.400 --> 00:25:41.400
understand that is not the way.
It's not to get in front of her

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00:25:41.640 --> 00:25:45.480
and that she's getting at the wrong
kind of wrong kind of attention. I

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00:25:45.519 --> 00:25:49.039
agree, it's wrong, you know
what. And she's gonna learn, she's

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00:25:49.079 --> 00:25:53.559
gonna gonna learn, she's going to
not like that bieber girl. No,

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00:25:55.200 --> 00:26:00.559
she's already getting hers. Mm hmmm, I foul the law. So from

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00:26:00.599 --> 00:26:03.640
this episode of Candy Chat, I
am Betty ever Saw, I am Tabitha

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00:26:03.799 --> 00:26:08.880
Hutcheson, and we wish you the
very best of fifty percent off Candy.

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00:26:10.599 --> 00:26:17.559
Don't forget your wint back card,
pint black card, by y'all, I'm I'm blas