When your old career gives you lemons throwing some ice mix in some vodka colored
a podcast from the Mac of All Trade Studio in Fairport and driven by Victor
Chrysler Dots jeep Ram. It's Billified the Bill Moran Podcast. Well, hello
and welcome. Thanks for getting your pot on, Thanks for telling a friend.
That's how we spread the word about the pirate ship. Tonight, We're
honored, Kevin, Yes, yes we are. Stephanie with a lot of
people have asked, where has Stephanie been. Stephanie's been busy? Can you
earn my mic? It seems like, no, you're fine. It took
me a while to work this one through, but I got it done then.
And then I hear Stephanie's moms in town, and so seventy's mom agreed
to come on and went, that's it. So I sat down for a
little bit today and I was thinking about it. I go, Stephanie,
what do I think of with Stephanie? I went funny, I said wild,
But I don't mean that in that way, honest, secure, strong,
independent, smart, fierce, And I go, as a mom,
you got to be pretty proud of her, extremely Yeah, you have to
be because I went, that's somebody who I mean, you got a fiercely
independent, strong woman here, yes, which is yeah. Because I thought
about that, I go, boy, that's something that you always hear.
You know, I have friends, I have no I have three sons,
I have no daughters. I don't know what that what that world is like
at all. And I was significantly older than my sister by five years,
so I you know, there was a not I mean, I'm certainly close
with her, but I don't even a little girl. And then there was
a younger brother after that. So uh. But you will always hear about
trying to raise strong women that would happen. I always that was the one
thing that always stuck out. I'm like, damn, man, that you've
got to be proud of that herself. That you ever compared me to Kevin?
Well, what has impressed you most about your daughter? Oh? And
she puts her mind to something, she's doing it, and she's got it
and no problem. She was, you know, the only woman that I
know that opened the State Farms Insurance when she I'm going to do this,
and I'm a young girl. You open your own office at age twenty three,
I was the youngest state farm agent in the nation. Yes, I
had employees the whole nine. You did, I did. Yeah, I
didn't know that, Yeah I did. Yeah. And so when she says
that to you, we just know we're in trouble. No, but I
mean, it's happening. But at the same time, it's also supportive,
right, because you got to know your kid in a way like you never
want to discourage. I would say, you know, because the one thing
like, I'm watching my kids, right and I have a son who he
went to a private school here, and then when he was going to go
to college, I really thought he'd go to Saint Jose It was another Jesu
at school and I really liked it. I thought it would be a good
fit for him. And then Roberts Wesleyan, which is a very small college
here, was kind of coming after him for a track thing and I'm going,
you were good, but you weren't great. You earned this. You
know. That guy now is a senior and he's probably going to break the
school record in the weight throw, which is a big thing, and he's
jacked. And one of the things I Thanksgiving I want to say to these
all three of my boys is you write your own story, and you wrote
your own story. I didn't think I mean, I didn't think you were
a great athlete or a good enough athlete. And now you're about to break
the school record. Don't ever listen to me, you know what I mean?
And I think like all of us give advice from a standpoint of we
love you, we care about you, we want to see the best for
you, and we don't see this. And that's where I'll stay on this
podcast all the time. If you have an idea to do something, tell
no one, because they're going to give you advice that they think is helping
you, and instead it's probably gonna shit all over your dream, if you
know what I'm saying, right, I mean in a way, but I
always thought, like, like, honestly, I think that that you need
to hear that stuff because uh, sometimes life throws your curves, it does,
right, And I always think too because we Kevin said to me,
Hey, Stephanie and her mom are going to come in, I think we
should play what my mom doesn't know? Oh, and you know what I
said, and she knows everything right, And I went, is that a
different mother daughter relationship than any of your friends? Have. I'm just open.
I know you are everyone in my life. You are I choose to
live, and even my mother. I mean, well there are times where
you go, Stephanie, please, I don't want to hear this. Yes,
yes, a lot of times. There's a lot of things we've never
told her daddy either, Yeah. Yeah, but but yeah, but you
knew you were like the gatekeeper. That's just that's a close relationship that now
you have a younger sister, Yes, and does she the same way as
open you think, not as open open? Yeah, because I was thinking,
like I don't know many people. Look, I know, mother daughter
relationships are are different and sometimes complicated, right for some people, For some
I see it really close. Were lucky. Yeah yeah, but but is
that a lot of you just being so open and she's open to yeah,
bringing stuff up? Were the apple from the tree? Yeah, so we
should play what my dad doesn't know? What's the best advice your mom ever
gave you? Any think of anything that she told you along the way,
or maybe you gave her the self respect with not just sleeping around all that
stemmed from her. Okay, yeah, to be a pig and that was
all from her. Yeah, you've been very open even on the past podcast
about yeah, making sure that you don't well it is, it's self respect.
I can see where I think the problem is when you're young, like,
you know, without sounding gross, sex feels good and so if that's
going to happen, and then it feels like that's what you do when someone
likes you when you're young, and I think that's what I tell you what
she said about my friends who slept around. So I was fourteen, and
stop me. If I already told this story, I don't who cares,
let's share it again. It fourteen, by theos, Honey, you're probably
the age some of your friends might have started doing stuff with guys, you
know, hand jobs, blow jobs, sex whatever. Did she say it?
Wait wait she say it like that, Oh god, the greatest my
parents those words didn't exist. Yeah, but that's smart, smart, And
I come on and she's okay, I guess you don't want to talk about
it. So I know you're listening to me. But I ask your girlfriends
if the guys cared, if if they had an orgasm or did they Yeah,
do they care about them or just themselves? So I was like,
eh, mom, no, no, So I went back and I did
ask all my girlfriends, Hey, when you had gave Scott that blowjob?
Didn't you did he try to make you? Did he care? No,
didn't try. No, didn't care. And I started asking everyone the different
schools because I worked it like a diner and asking everybody. Nobody was coming,
No guys cared. Did your own survey? I did, and the
street the step and I was like, okay. So I came back and
I was like, just so you know, Mom, like you were you
were right. I asked everybody. I did like a sample of like thirty
six and nobody putt together. She says, yeah, and she said,
if a man really loves you and really cares, it's not a pig.
You do it the right way. Ideally, wait till you're married, you
know. She told me to worry about STDs, but she's like, if
you're going to do something, you are the man that cares. If you're
taken care of that way, you know, you just won't be used.
She's like, there's nothing worse, like make sure you're getting something out of
it too, And it just opened up my eyes to the world of men,
especially teenage boys. Sure and no, they are like remember the game
where do you try to take the hand and go hey, because there's it's
in one track mind it is and she's like, are they buying your dinner?
Do they say I love you? Do they cuddle? Do they care?
Do they maybe try to like talk, have conversations? Yeah, without
I don't want to step too far into any one direction. So just understand
that. But you have sons too. I mean I have sons. I
worry in the world we live in today, things going too far. And
then sometimes you know, there isn't as much as ah innocent until proven guilty.
It's guilty until proven innocent in a lot of these situations now, and
so learning that, Hey man, either you know there's a give take here,
or there's also a really really mind your matters and keep your hormones under
control. You got to make care, keep a bridle putting governor on those
hormones. Son. Yeah, but you know what I mean. I mean
that's a tough one. That's a tough herd. Advice is powerful and I
think it can help a lot of young girls. Yeah, I think it
is. You should write up nothing worse than just getting used, Like I
have girlfriends that'll go home with a guy and they get nothing out of it.
Their number went up, they have std scared, who knows what happened?
And like, where's like, even if they did something, why aren't
they enjoying them? Well, here's the other side of that too. It's
like because you're probably talking about well, I'll say that I think that there's
always they enjoy it, but I think they start to feel bad about themselves.
Yes, of course, and they start to question themselves. And I
think if you're if you're talking about some divorced women, I think a lot
of times when you were married, you made that marriage. That relationship may
not have been good, but you like the you like the idea of having
somebody, so you'll give up a little bit more. And I think to
your point, it almost feels like women have been was they groomed, but
raised raised to feel as though they you know, they'll just put up with
whatever, right because if you're not getting I mean, I never even thought
of what you said as a kid, I never did, never thought of
I used to tell my nephew that also. Yeah, I told him,
I said, you be respectful. Two girls care what you do. But
that's where it begins. Yeah, respect, don't just use people your peat
people fall off. I told them that's basically what I said that. Anyways,
did you did you live in Unike your whole life? Yes? I
did? You did? Ye o? And a ton of Skyler, very
tiny, tiny town. Everybody. I think we're all related, every one
of us, all right, And that's and how many generations do you think
for you were there? I mean your family did they come there from my
grandmother from England? You know, their family all came over and anything.
I actually went to a place and I found out that I had a deed
for Green Bay, Wisconsin. So when they did when the home settling,
you know, you could homestead there and then they would give you the deed
from President Polk. Wow, eighteen thirty five. What a nice piece of
family history. Yeah, because I think somewhere most most of my families is
Ireland. But then my dad's my maternal grandmother on my father's side, a
lot of people came over in the sixteen hundreds. We have Civil War discharge
papers from a relative, and that's kind of cool family history to have,
right to have all that. I just never knew anybody because Utica used to
be the joke. What was the sitcom? Do you remember the sitcom The
Office? No, not the Office. There was another one and I think
it was Jenny McCarthy and another girl. And there were two girls they were
do you remember the one? Yes? They were from Utica, Yes,
yes, Okay. Now I went out to Buffalo once and there's this guy
playing, the older man playing the piano with a greasy wig on, and
he goes, where are you girls from? I said, Utica. Yeah,
that's where the Utica cast gets were made. And he's singing on the
piano. It was mob City, Okay. Everyone came from Sanjo's Appiatos and
that is like, you know, yeah, that's it. Well, when
you drive like, I've never really been into in Utica, but I would
drive by on the Throughway because I grew up down by Poughkeepsie, an immigrant
town a lot. Yeah, but it looks nice. When you look down
into the valley off the two Way, it looks like it's the best Italian
food you ever could get, really, chicken riggies, everything they have Frankfurt
has. That is that the third highest concentration of Italians in a town in
the entire country, and that's what they have is they have restaurants, barber
shops, dry cleaners, construction. It's very club beer. I think was
the first brewery it opened back up after prohibition too, that's correct. It
was beautiful club beer. Yeah yeah, is that still I was wondering if
it was place you can get good food. So is that Matt's FX,
right? They they're the ones who own it, right, Yeah? Is
it just Matt's Yeah? Oh well it's Matt's Brewery, you know. Yeah,
a cloud. You know, it's change the things. Because I remember
having those guys on when I did radio and talking about going down and running
the boiler making. Yeah, yeah, that's that's a cool looking race.
I used to read about it and Runners magazine. I just never went and
did it, but they had bands and stuff. It looked like a party.
It was, yeah, there's not much to do, and then drinking
afterwards. I mean they're just pounding down the hill. So what so you
Okay? So I grew up in a really small I grew up in the
largest school district in New York State per square mile, with the fewest amount
of people. So it was like grade seven through twelve, you had like
seven hundred kids in the building. Yeah, but it was a two hundred
school district square miles school district, right, So in those rural areas,
there was a lot of drinking that went on, and I had a lot
of friends that were killed in car accidents and motorcycle accidents. Long time on
a bus, yeah, at a long time in a bus. Now I'm
about ten years older than you. But did you have by then? There
was a lot of education, right, because I'm fifty two, so they
had drinking age was twenty one when I was there, but when I was
in seventh grade, some of the seniors, I think it was switching right
around that time to twenty one, right, the mad had come out was
really pushing. There was a lot of education. I was bars at sixteen,
you were because the eighteen Yeah eighteen drinks, yeah, and so who
cared? And if you had, if you were a pretty girl, they
wanted you in there because these guys were coming in boobs. Yea, I
know, no problem working. That's funny. But in those small town was
there a lot of like we used to party field. I was a designated
driver. I was always responsible. Really, why is that? Because I
know I always want to make my parents proud. I want to be the
smartest girl, you know. I wanted to be the one that was most
successful. I always was was trying to do the right thing. Yeah,
that's interesting. I would drive for my friends. I think I probably drank
three times in my entire high school. Really, wow, that was it.
Yeah, I partied so much in school. This is a true story
that there was property damage done because a lot of people. We were ninety
miles outside of Manhattan, so you'd have a lot of people by weekend homes
and different things up there. So some some kids knew these people weren't around.
They had a party. I did not go. I couldn't go.
I had to watch my brother and sister. State police came to my house
to question me about who was at the party because they knew that I knew
every party every My father was so upset, but he was also man.
He made the officer address me as William and because the guy goes, hey,
listen, built no big deal, my father goes, you will address
him as well. His name is really yeah, because my father goes,
he said to me, after you your father's not dead, but why are
you the one they're going to talk to. I wasn't at the party,
but I knew everybody. You knew exactly. I knew every party that was
going on, everything all the time. But I was never as responsible as
you. I actually hosted some parties and wanted to drink at him. At
your house, I got in trouble. People were throwing beer bottles and they
chiped my dad's Harley. Oh, she was in Hawaii on a school shrip
and that's the only reason why she's not dead. How did he find out?
Because there was broken beer bottles in the concrete cracks. I cleaned it
really well, but the cracks. My Dad's like, what's the shiny stuff?
It looks like beer bottle, just a couple of shiny things. I
must have messed, and then he lifted up the Harley case was chip.
I was grounded for like a year, about a year, and I didn't
drink at the party. I was trying to be responsible with my friends were
sleeping over. But I wanted to have fun and I wasn't too far from
your prom, so I bought her the dress for the prom and I said,
listen, you can go to the prom. Everything's good. And I
stood outside the door after everybody was going to a party, went time to
come home. Now, I thought there was a worse punishment she could ever
rich. So I got one. I got one almost as good, almost
as good. Took a limo to the prom afterwards. I don't know how
this happened, because this is actually terrible, but my buddy's dad was a
state trooper. He and his mom split, but they split shortly after.
His sister had a big party for her college graduation and two kids were killed
from out of town going on a beer run. And one of my really
good buddies was like, his brother lost scholarship and everything because he had a
rehab for a year and all this stuff. Right, But that kid's mom
she would host the prom after party. Okay, so she was taking everybody's
keys. Now you would think that after having an experience like you had,
you just wouldn't fucking around with that stuff at all. So she has that
party, and I go with the limo, and then I take my date
home and I go home to my house. My father finds out that I
was at that party, and he wrote her a letter, a handwritten letter
that said the next time you're gonna have a party, Basically, I'm paraphrasing
here that you're going to serve minors, do not allow my son to get
in. And that got around school like yeah. And I was a junior
who had the reputation of yeah. But you know, again, all you're
trying to do, like well, my father used to always say to me,
I'm not here to ruin your good time. I'm just trying to keep
you alive, right, I'm trying to keep you alive and that and that's
it. And in these rural towns where there's not a lot to do,
and I mean I go back now, it's like cart paths. Some of
the roads. I don't know about where you guys lived, but it was
cart paths. And I remember there was the Taconic State Parkway that ran through
my neck of the woods. Was really like a two lane road, but
everybody did sixty five. I raced a girl. She got off and got
on the Taconic and I took the back roads. I was in her driveway
leaning against my car by the time she got there. I had to be
doing like eighty down these dark roads where a kid could have popped out on
a bike or anything. I got drunk one time at my senior prom and
didn't want my parents to know. So my buddy's older sister drove me to
the end of my street and I go, let me drive up my street
and so my parents won't know, and I come in. Oh no,
my old man was ready to kill me because there are kids and anything else.
It could have come out on a bike or anything. But I didn't
have that same moral code you have. I mean I was wild. I
was fun, but I tried to have some level of making them proud.
Well wild in terms of would you just have a big personality, Yeah,
i'd I'd be the sober one that people would think I was drinking. I
wasn't. And the girls that had the three beers were sitting the like stiff,
you know. Fun. Yeah, that's interesting. Now what I don't
want to keep calling you Stephanie's mom, Sue, Sue. I'm sorry,
so thank you, Sue. What what do you Your job is what you
said it was, sugar, I'm making. I am a hairdresser and I
had a customer come in once and say I need a Brazilian and I'm like,
I don't know how to do a Brazilian, but I'll go to school
I went and pound sugaring. Sugaring so sugar hair removal wax. They call
it sugar wax. Okay, but I would never call it that because I've
been doing it for twenty eight years. All Right, well, sugar wax.
We'll take a moment and we'll find out about sugaring and the confessions that
she gets in that room. I gotta say, it's almost like sure,
you can look at some things and tell all right, we'll take a moment,
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We figured this is a good song, so since you were you're talking about
sugaring, this would be Kevin has sent me the Archie's like a what song?
What I'm not connected today? H one classics because ulator idiot. Thanks
Kevin can get better. You know, my husband's going to give me a
little sugar shack to drive around sugar people so once so you could come to
them a sugar shalls like parks from place and say sue sugar shack like a
pop up sugar shack. You're like a waxing tinkerbell. So have you ever
gotten? So you do? You've been a hairdresser your entire life? Well,
thirty five thirty five years five to thirty six thirty I mean six t
five? How old a bike? Forty? So what did you do prior
five? Okay? And what did you do five to sixty five? I've
been working, yeah, as a hairdresser. And then prior to that what
sugar wrist? Sugar? Oh you kidding me? What my work before I
was to stay at home mom? Okay, yeah, yeah, that's a
lot. Yeah. How many? How many siblings do you have? It's
a younger sister. Okay, yeah, that's still same street was overwhelming?
Yeah to go out? Yes, Well that's the thing is you need you
need, you need a dope conversation and stuff. Yes, And how many
years have you been married? Then? I have been with my husband since
fourteen years old and we've been wow, forty seven years? Has he Utica
native as well? Down the road? Yeah? Down brother's best friend.
Your brother's best friend. You're still in love and they flirt? Were You're
the first one I got out of the big and out of the small town
in the big city. Yeah, for you never came back and your sister
still lives there. But it's kind of nice though, you know. That's
one of the things. Like my siblings are all spread all over. Actually,
my sister just moved and she lives in d C. But she had
been in Denver. My brother was in Florida. Now he's in Maine,
and then my mom's and running back. My dad's in Jersey. So everybody's
kind of out, but everybody will be together for Thanksgiving. But there's something
about even for you, it's not that far. It's like a two hours
two hours, and I see my whole family, my aunt and uncles,
everything. There's something nice about that. Scholarships for any school she wanted to
go to, so she chose ri Tea. So I'm thinking two hours on
the three way that's good. Yeah, that is because they had Almayer right
or one down there. I was thinking of which would be the best commute,
and I'm like, I kind of like a through way drive work at
the back, you know, versus the back country road. So where were
you where else did you go? Where were you looking at? I think
Siena in Bortland. Yeah, yeah, yeah, then yeah, she's very
smart. Yeah two hours ri I t was probably I would out your best
took up space. She took up space. Yes, So I want to
know about like, how how do you go from so someone says to you
once I wanted Brazilian and then you decided here's an opportunity. I'll learn how
to do this, especially in a small town. No one else did it.
So she's like, I'm on it. Yeah, but I mean,
how do you convince people that the well once word that's a word of mouth
thing, right, yeah, because yeah, and that's even some people going,
hey, man, wait, did I discover a new thing. I'm
going to tell you something. I had people I live in Skyler or you
to cow which is almost central New York State, all the way down to
Oneonta, all the way up to Fort Drum. I mean, is therefore
they drove oh yeah, Watertown, Syracuse in Albany, and I had two
or three people come in from Long Island just for you, because because Long
Island they had to have people that were except for use to do men.
Oh a lot of my men clients came from all over Okay, I have
a theory that a lot of times pubic hair style is dictated by porn,
but I don't know. That was just a theory I always had because you
would start to see no pubic hair on women in porn, and then it
sort of became a mainstream. Well yeah, because you got the seventies porn.
Yeah, the full bush. Right, when someone comes in like that,
I asked him if they had sex lately? Do you still see some
people like that? Yes, yes, yeah, young I think that's what
broke my eyes. Churches by the strip with those people. But are they
young people? No? I have older people. No, No, I
meant with the big with the big bush, with the big uh. Oh
you girl, that's what I mean a young girl. Yeah, that's surprise.
Yeah, and that was the end of that. I'm a shame I
knew. Now. Is it coming back though? That there's a little bit
down there and that's what I'm say there is. Yeah, that's a nice
year. I haven't seen what about men? So when did you? When
did what year? Is? My curiosity? Was the first man that came
to you? Oh, twenty eight years ago? Twenty eight years ago?
Okay, so we're going back into like the ninety five. Yeah, and
now because now look we we have a whole grooming product for down there,
right, so that's the whole you know, manscaping has become a thing.
I do feel that doesn't hurt at all, though, no it doesn't.
Know. The waxing sad for my male customers because there's no one in this
area that I've taught will touch a you know, do a guy. They
won't know because I mean, you do ball the whole package. It's just
awkward because because of that the guy or plus I'm old, you know,
I'm sixty five, they're what thirty three or something like that, and you've
got to hired on who cares. I don't really care. First swipe is
gone. I got at it and not let it go. Mine just disappeared,
I trust. Wow. So her business took off, yeah, oh
yeah, word of mouth, and then she became like a confessional, you
know, talk to people about their problems and how to help their marriage.
And well that's what I was going to say. I think a lot of
times hairdressers you almost I would almost say like you could go to school and
get a therapy degree and open a hair salon and you may do even more
better for your community than anything, because so many people just there's something about
that you just I'm sure there are clients you've had for over twenty years the
same Yeah, and you get to know them intimately in a way, right
sure, and they tell you things in weddings. Yeah, and you probably
never met the kid, right right, That's what I'm saying, Like you
become like a member of their family. So what about what what are you
talking about? Where she helped marriages and things? Well, because you know,
they'll talk to me while my husband don't do this, or my haven't
my wife in a year and I had one guy say, you know,
I haven't had suck And I go, well, what are you doing about
it? Are you calling her up in the middle of the day and saying,
hey, I've been thinking about you or are you going home? Going
fuck? I mean, there's a big difference in how you approach your wife.
You know, when I was married, we kind of fell apart a
little bit. What happened. She got kids, she's got kids, and
he's doing this and I'm doing that, and like, oh, we need
some alone time. I've always said that to my kids. You need to
have a date at least once a month without any kids. You bring your
kids to me, And that's what I did because it's important. What about
Yeah, so in your own marriage, there was you who did that because
most guys sort of want to take the lead in terms of that stuff from
women. And I would think, you know, being in a little older,
small town, he isn't gonna talk about feelings whole lot unless you will
make it okay. Unless you make it okay, you understand what I'm saying,
Like your husband may now have a very very wonderful relationship conversation that any
guy, I know, it's got to be prodded or or they got to
feel very safe. I'm just going to tell you one thing I said to
my husband, Yeah, stop treating me like your fuck hole. Yeah yeah,
yeah, And he just went, what Yeah, that's just gross.
I go exactly right, and it changed. Yeah. Well, there's something
I'm sure he is. I mean, I'm sure you know he's going to
be told a couple of times, you know, But I think there's something
about like, as you know, as an older guy myself, now you
learn the importance of things like romance or not even roman it's not even the
right word. But but I don't know. There's something about getting up and
getting a bottle of water in the middle of night if you hear somebody coughing.
It's just these little little things really do mean a lot. That a
lot of times you're just like shit, shut up, you know. And
that's and then that's where it begins to start to dissolve, right, that
that stuff goes away. So when people would say things to you, then
I off Mike, and I hope you don't mind if I bring this up.
And if it is, you tell me no, go. But the
sex toy thing, yeah, so what happened is you know it would then
she talked to women. You know, when's the last time you had sex?
And why are you dressing like that? You're so frumpy? Like want
to eat healthy, try to exercise, maybe wear some linger. Have you
ever give them a dance? What about buying a sex toy? What about
redoing your hair? Come on, let's try something new. Get in my
back room a book, when Cuba care? Do you have a seventies bush?
Let's whax you up? Get you so, but you start to feel
better about your women, right, anybody right? Start to feel better about
yourself when you went. She started coaching them then like they'd be like,
well, I don't want to go anywhere to buy a sex toy. So
she was like, got the idea, I'll start selling them given the advice,
And next thing you know, she had a side business with the sex
toys, with the advice, and then she's saving marriages. And then you
know instead of going instead of sex toys that a man can't produce what a
little bunny can do. Right, It's that constant, constant thing. So
if you're addicted to a little bunny, then you won't like it. Then
you'll always have to have that little bunny with you. And I tell them
try not to always use it, always use it. Yeah, but sometimes
it can be an enhancer, especially if you haven't had it any year.
It's a nice way to introduce, you know, some fun. Right.
She makes a good point. You don't want to get addicted to it because
it'll desensitize you. You. I'm sure you should have written a book or
done some seriously because like you you could have been a TV talk show Central
New York. You think they had, you could have done what Wayne and
Garth did, but really helped people, you know what I mean, the
cable access. I'm sure they had a guy who had MS and he was
in the war and it was Agent Orange. Okay, So he came to
me and he says, I can't my marriage is falling apart because I can't
do anything. And I go, here you go, Merry Christmas. The
two of them came back in. His wife and him came back in to
hug me. The two of them, thank you for giving me our life
back. All right, So how does this guy feel comfortable enough? Again,
we're talking about guys. You do see what I'm saying. It's got
to be you made people to feel comfortable. But how did you know to
come to you? Because it was word was out that you were selling the
sex toys in the shop. Yes, everybody, you know. I sometimes
I had him out there until the kids came in. Then I had to
put him in my sugar room and yeah, sugar so and this, yeah,
because there's another way. So you were almost like a sex therapist then
as well. Right, Oh, earlier I told you about my elderly gentleman
who is seventy nine years old, but I've known him for five years.
So let's give him to seventy five. Okay, okay, And he came
in and he's a swinger and his wife had colon cancer and she has that
poop bag. Yeah, the colossary bag. Round said please go, just
don't embarrass me and I will always love you, but please don't embarrass me.
So he went to a swinger bar and he goes, could you sugar
me? I go, why you got all the way time out? So
hang on, I got to figure this out. So he wasn't a swinger
until his wife got ill. Yes, and then his wife said, I
can't have sex anymore? Why I don't want to? And then this is
bad and I'm embarrassed. And I'm sure the cossmy bag. I remember my
grandfather had one. It can be yea, yeah, it's not exactly sexy.
No it's not. It could be a bit of a turn off.
I'm sure, but uh. And so she says, go and do that.
And he comes to you and says, I need you to clean me
up. Yeah, because I cut his hair, okay, and he knew
that. I go. They call it the torture room. Yeah, so
I got a little sign on my room torture room. Is he the oldest
guy you've ever done, the heldless person you've ever done? Yeah, and
so you got them all cleaned up. And then she has also told him,
I said, you know, I don't know how many women you're with,
but you know you got to watch it. Pepe, Let's cover it
up, you know, just because you're not going to get anyone pregnant,
you can get that he could Robert de Niro just dead. What do you
mean, don't be a fool raptor time you're giving bad advice. Wow,
I actually told him to cover it up. Yes, she did. She
gave him good advice. So there's a swinger bar in you to go?
Or was he going out of Syracuse? Oh? Yeah, No, I
do believe that there's a lot. There was a whole. When I was
in radio, they used to have a swingers magazine that went around and couples
would advertise in this magazine. There was a magazine and we used to get
it at the radio station, and you would see some people and there was
a lot of three one five area code for Syracuse, Syracuse not there was
a lot of that are crazy too? WHOA. When I worked in a
hotel, I was the beverage and food manager. So I had to pull
my young bartender out of there because there was just some crazy shit going on.
I'm like, I don't want to be here, but I don't want
to loss it either, so I had to go in and just sheer shit
that was going on. When I was doing Mornings. After we said left
CMF and I was doing Mornings with Tommy, we had a guy whould call
up. He was Scott the Swinger. He would talk all about the swinger
lifestyle. So they were having a meeting in the back room of tailors.
Remember Taylor's was a bar, was there? Okay? It was usually I
want to say older clientele only because it was probably people. I mean there
was There was probably a guy in his seventies dancing on the dance floor that
night. So we go in there and I felt like I was watching people
at a zoo, you know what I mean? Well, no, because
they were all swingers. So she went there to observe this. I felt
a little bad. There was something about it that just didn't feel right to
me. But something happened that I'll never forget this. All of a sudden,
the guy who would call the radio show's wife just blows up on a
guy, like starts just screaming and like yelling at him and all this stuff.
And he's a big dude, and she's getting in his face. And
the guy that we're with, guys, he's shaking his head. What happened?
Apparently they had swung with this couple, and then she she would call
her husband and say, hey, do you mind if I meet so and
so, you know, for a little fling on the side happens, and
she and and he she would always tell her husband. He told her that
he was telling his wife and he wasn't, and she blew up when that
happened. I mean, it was like it was. It was very dramatic.
It was very very housewivesh kind of drama. But I watched it unfold,
and I did. I felt like I was at a petting zoo,
like a human petting zoo to watch these people. It felt embarrassing. But
swingers with every different kind of fetish you could want. There's leather, there's
whatever you want. It's like a room of just everything. Yeah. The
smell in the hallway wild, you know what I mean, It's just like,
yeah, it's it's gotta be you got a human gate. Yes,
exactly what you're remembering my motel life. We owned a motel for thirty years.
Wait you did, my in laws did? Yees it was the hotel
motel. I used to make up rooms. Wow, yeah, because but
you gotta do. You gotta do. Those small towns. They were always
looking. They're like everybody always owned business in my well, multiple multiple streams.
But yeah, not hourly rental rates. Oh yeah, three hours.
It started out when they lie ten dollars, ten dollars for three hours.
Got out of there, it was twenty five dollars for three hours. Room.
I would knock on that door too, yeah yeah, oh yeah,
get them out. Yeah, turned this room over. But then you I
mean you had to wear rubber gloves. Yeah yeah. Wow. You had
one lady. I would nickname a lot of people. Okay, like one
lady was We called her hair lady. She would go in she had this
huge head of hair, probably all dressed up in fake looking but like I
mean, yeah, they were pigs. They ate like food all over the
place, like they had an orgy of food. Yeah. Was she a
hooker? I don't know. Yeah, he was a big lady. But
called her hair lady. Then I had a guy who was I called him
Potman, and unfortunately he ended up killing his wife and he never came in
again. So it goes my potman. Was he the suppliers? We gotta
tell the story about you thought the killer that came to Slide for the haircut.
Oh Jesus, this is crazy. So that's not nice. So it's
terrible. It is terrible. We did have a lady get killed at the
Davis Motel. Good thing, she's nice to people. I don't know.
Yeah, so the killer comes in and you cut his hair and he's got
he didn't have a shirt. He didn't have a shirt. So she's like,
honey, let me give you a shirt. This is right after he
killed his wife. No, no, no, this is before. This
is right before he does because he's like in town, do it. So
my mom cuts his hair, gives him a shirt. The shirt she gives
him is rich and I his wedding shirt because we had him a annical bowl
and it said like you've been booked from Richard Stephanie's wedding and that's all she
had at the back of her car. And then it's in his mugshot.
Sorry, yeah, it was she gives the guy what. I think we
were divorced at the time. That's probably why she's like, who gives a
ship? Yeah? And then was it the next day or that same day,
the next day, the next thing? So she was kind to this
hurting person that you could have gotten murdered. It's so sad. And then
half mile down the road he kills someone that owns the she said, the
tavern, so sad. Yeah, we have a barrow skylar tavern. Yeah,
talk about you never know when someone's on the verge of explosion. It's
just an oddity for someone to walk in with no shirt on. Yes,
because it was kind of cold. You could have been looking for a fight,
you never know, looking for an argument. Yeah, he said he
jumped out of the window of one of the motel rooms and we had to
happen before, so I believed him. Yeah, did you offer to waxes
shoulders or anything. Do you do a lot of men's backs and stuff?
Yeah, I would assume that that's that's probably more popular. Butts too,
you want to do your I have a very furry, very furry now what
she's done, but it would is gross and it would be very no you
don't know, but you get so you get in all that stuff. Do
you have had to see some of the grossest pieces of human different vagina styles.
I had no clue. What are you talking about? Tell them about
the vagina styles? Come on, guys, you don't know? Ye,
you know there's any yes? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, nervous
no no, no, no no. I do have women that ask me,
am I normal? Am I normal? I don't know? You know
you've got any? You got an outing? What does that mean? You
know? They don't even know the difference. I didn't know that was the
thing. Yeah, yeah, I mean, well, I don't know how
women are in locker rooms like guys were. Just you know, you got
to really be looking to see an innery anywhere out. Yes, you do,
right, and a lot of times you're not staring. But und well,
the girls locker room in high school had individual stalls persons and we had
just one big room with shower heads. We would pee on each other.
We didn't. It was awful, but no one. But so you were
very used to seeing everybody and it didn't I think back at a certain age,
I don't know, it wasn't when I was in school but I heard
about swim class was naked in public schools? Really? Yeah, not what
people swimming swimming naked? The boys, the boys sixty boys separated from the
girls always were naked. Yeah, but boys, I don't think they had
them. They weren't. They weren't co ed. No, they didn't have
co ed. But it would be like gym class naked. So I did
everybody swim naked at the Yeah? Yeah, they or you were conceived?
I think it's say. I think I was labored a weekend You know that
for all right? I asked, But I asked, who asks? Why
did you make me on purpose? Do I have? And she yes,
honey, you were labored a weekend party? All right, Well, there
have a child. My father had a heart attack, so we had nothing
to do but sit home and wait for phone calls because we didn't have cell
phones. Right, so they decided, let's make a baby life too short?
And I was made. Yeah, and now did he survive the heart
attack? Yes, so he got to meet you and all that's wonderful,
right, that's great, that's uh. I just never would have asked.
I always figure that out the people. You just figure out the math.
Ye, my father always goes, yeah, you were the honeymoon. It
was right after that. Well, it was like my birthday, September thirtieth,
so what was I new year? See, yeah, yeah, that's
right because my brother was early September, so yeah, and I think he
was about two weeks Yeah, yeah you can, but I'm thinking he was
more like Christmas than maybe a little before. Yeah. My parents were teachers,
so they would I didn't know, Yeah, so they would get snow
days. It was back then when you had to listen to the radio to
find out right, and so my father would say to me once in a
while, we would go try to run into the room. Hey, worse,
our school is closed because they worked in different districts, and the door
would be locked. My years later, I remember my father going, what
do you think we were doing in there when the door was we know,
we know you guys are got school. No, it would be early in
the morning, so everybody's still be in bed, but we would go running
in to go, yeah we got over school. We heard it on the
radio. But the door would be like you'd be like running full speed and
like hit the door trying to open the knob. And then he said to
me, like, what do you think we were doing in there? And
I just never thought of snow days again, never, never, ever,
ever ever again. So waxing, I'm still stuck in this seventy eight year
old guy going to a swingers bar. That's pretty brave him and he said,
the girls like it, but nothing on it. Yeah, so he
told me that, So now he's a client on repeat. He's on repeat.
How often do you have to go if you're getting waxed? I usually
do everyone about four weeks. Some people are six weeks after a while of
doing them for twenty eight years, they hardly have any hair. So I'm
just in there kind of Yeah, it just made skin. So what do
you think of because I know that laser became a thing. Yes, yeah,
but I did send a girl that drove an hour and a half up
to see me. Yeah, and I wasn't getting any further with her,
so I said, why don't you try lasering? So she's down in Oneonta.
So she's getting lasering, and believe it or not, her hair is
still not staying away. Really yeah, So I said, I feel bad.
You're driving three hours round trip for fifteen minutes. Yeah, you know,
it's a tough ass right there. Yeah, I didn't kill you.
You know, Irish people have thicker cuticles in their hair. You pull that
hair out and they're bleeding. Oh Irish. I don't want to I can't
do it. She did on my legs. Yeah, I couldn't handle it.
One day Mother's Day, she didn't wish wish me a happy Mother's Day,
and Stephanie, I needed to get this legs. I was screaming the
other girls and slun said, Sue, you can't be sugar when your daughter
in this line. You're scaring the clients. I'll just shame every don't wish
me a happy Mother's Day. Well that is pretty tough. That's a bad
one. Stuff. I need to do that to your mom. You know.
I forgot during COVID. I was watching my granddaughter and my grandson and
I said, here, Kayley, I want to try this on your legs.
She was so hairy. Their first rip was just it was horrible.
She screamed, Sue, I'm never going to talk to you again. How
ol d she was COVID? Maybe she's ten years old, all right,
little Harry, Yeah, yeah, but she doesn't feel the pain on her
body. She can wax her armpits or everything, not even flinching, So
she forgets. You do your own doesn't even flinch, and other people like
so she forgets that it's painful for people. Your harry, let me clean
it up. I was doing some TV stuff for a while. I did
my eyebrows and that was. That was about all I can handle. I
tear up even from no, I tear up. I think I even had
a sneezing fit because you connect feel. I don't like that. That's so
all that. What's the name of this lot? The cutting Edge? The
Cutting Edge? Do you remember the Hockey but it's closing. No, she's
retiring. The Hockey movie was filmed in Utica, The Cutting Edge. Oh
yeah, they had everybody when I was so nineteen seventy six is when the
movie was produced. Because a couple of us graduated and sat in the Oh
how cool. Yeah, we're filming it, and so you opened the cutting
So you own the cutting Edge, yes, and so what you're not going
to sell? My daughter sold our business. And the guys kicking me out
because they're living and they're going to live in Texas. They are going to
be snowbirds. Are going to split your time. But now she's thinking of
flying back and forth, maybe every five weeks to do her sugaring the beach.
Yeah you could. Yeah. Where in Texas are you going? Padre
Island. Yeah, that's North padre So. Corpus Christie, Yeah, Corpus
Christy. I hear is really really beautiful. I've never been, but I
remember friends well, Padre Island, I remember from MTV spring Break. Yeah,
they opened there. That's the only way I knew. Free place.
That's what you want, all right, we'll take a moment when we come
back. I got to tell you about Kevin and I went to an event
last night and I thought, I it went horribly. I'll play some of
the audio. No horrily. We'll get to that next. But first.
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Toronto Dental dot coms. I crashed the aeroplane last night. Yes you knew,
Yeah, that was a uh so that's like I I asked Kevin.
I said, hey, you want to come out? They had this guy
had written me a long time ago and said, would you come out to
the Fireman Exemp Club in spencer Port. We're having our bourbon and beef dinner.
We'll feed you, you get steak and on he goes, I just
want you walking around. You just roast people. You just kind of like
that. And so I said, yeah, all right, no problem.
And then I didn't really respond back to him, and I'm waiting, and
as it gets closer, so I end up talking to him on the phone
and he's like, listen, we're not politically correct. Feel free to say
anything. These guys are great, They're gonna blah blah blah. And uh
so I took that to heart. I took that to heart. I shouldn't
have. And it was kind of one of these things where I was trying
to get there early enough that I could sort of read the room and see
how people were. Kevin was right on time. I was a little earlier
than I had intended. And I'm I'm I'm talking to some of the people
and you know, some people were asking me about my days in radio and
this and that and the podcast and so great mullets too. Everything's going on
and it seems to be going fine. And most of the people were had
a personality and we're ballbusters a little bit, you know, but again I'm
not. I'm I'm sort of an outsider. And my thing would be,
you know, if you were going to do anything, my advice would be,
be a little more self deprecating in your humor, right, things that
would be kind of playing on how weak you are and how great they are
kind of thing, which even that sounds a little too over the top,
But what I'm saying is these are all first responders. A lot of these
guys spencer Port is volunteer, but a lot of the volunteer guys are firemen
in the city, fire in the Greek or in Greece, which is the
largest suburb outside of I think Long Island is Greece, New York. And
so there's a lot that they deal with on a daily basis. And to
try to highlight that, and I didn't exactly do that, they told me
there was one guy named Gomer, and Gomer was a great sport. Gomer
was cool. I think this is a little audio. Today is Veterans Day.
Okay, here, gentlemen, if you mind, if you are a
veteran, would you mind standing men and women, men and women who have
served over the year. Ye all right, So now we're off to a
good start. Things are going great. That got them on my side.
They very good, very good, very good. And then I think I
even take us in the next up, just a moment of silence before we
have They asked me for a moment his Hilence before dinner, but they didn't
turn the music off. So Tom Petty singing free, you're not free falling
right there, I said, Tom Petty telling us for free. Okay,
so far, so good, everything's going well at that's okay, Am the
American. I should have just stuck to lawn and his whiskey, but I
didn't. The head of the American legion. Okay, now I paused that
there. I think Gomer is an older guy, and he had waxed the
tips of his mustache so they were up and curls rolly fingers. Who used
to be a picture in the Major League Baseball did the same thing. And
I had said to Gomer, and he said, I've been wanting to meet
you for a while. And he and I talked and I said something to
him, boy, I bet you had a lot of ladies ride that mustache.
Privately, privately, I said that to him, privately, good looking
older guy, and and he goes, not in a long time. Well,
I took that to this side. The west side was stuck in the
eighties. Then a mcgomer I went that mustacher from nineteen twenty. They all
laughed at that. All right, they're liking it. Okay, now here
we go, I said the over, I want to sniff your mustache.
He goes, there's not a lady that wrote it. In a while,
I want to sniff your moth. We're still going. We're still going.
All right, right there, we were going good. That was sure,
we should just cut down side time. But I didn't late that. Okay,
I told a joke that I should not have told. Uh I had.
I warned anybody, if you have to ask parission to tell a joke,
don't do the joke. Just don't remember where we are, what the
year is, and all that stuff. It was on the line, I
will admit, but I like walking the line in life, and I like
having a little bit of fun. This is the you'll hear the tail end
of the joke. It will not repeat the joke because I just figured after
last night's response, I probably shouldn't. But you'll hear this. I apologize.
I'm sorry, Oh God, a lot, it's not okay, all
right, okay, Well, I mean I've done this a long time.
I mean, here's the thing. I have no real nerve endings. But
what I will tell you is that as I've gotten older, my whole thing
in life has been to bust balls. But I don't like to hurt people.
I don't, I really don't. I'm okay with the uzz but if
I really, you know, if somebody was deeply offended by that, well
I don't want to be that guy. That's not who I am as a
person, and I don't want you to leave with that impression. But I
went further, so I said, I thought somebody said priest, and they
said no, Greece. And then this is where it got. Wait,
is there some people who's in charge with the Greece fire department. He used
to be in charge with the Greece fire department. Right here, this is
Meriron's buddy, wasn't now merrit Ron was the police chief in Greece. Here's
what I would I would say to these guys today, Uh, thank you,
and I'm sorry, and I'm sorry that I brought somebody up who really
brought disgrace on what you did. Right. You sort of became the laughing
stock, and all these guys, the fire chief and everybody else, they
put their ass in the line. My grandfather was a New York City fireman.
I know he's living in the Bronx and he was a fireman out of
a station down there. These guys are the ones who are the first accidents
and do all this and really are solid citizens. One bad apple seems to
spoil the bunch when you look at our first responders or anybody in authority,
right, I mean we all of a sudden lump everybody in well, that
whole apartment's bad. There was one or two or three people that that really
brought shame on it. I thought it was sort of funny. They clearly
did not, and I just wanted to I'm gonna play a little bit more
and then I'll tell you what happened that, what happened there. Now,
I'm like uncomfortable, I'm tired. Like so, one guy, the chief
is sitting at one round table and his buddies at the other. And when
I went to sit down, the guy who was playing music, uh from
the drinking class Heroes was there and he was sitting at our table and he
said yeah. One guy turned around and said are you ready to go?
And when I went back to the tape, was exactly what I remembered.
He meant ready to go, like they would get up and beat me up.
That's what he meant. This guy thought he meant like they were ready
to go, like they were going to leave the dinner. No, they
weren't going to leave the dinner. These guys were I think ready to literally
kick money. Yeah, I think they would have wanted to punch me.
I really do. And I was not ever my intention at all, And
that's why so I tried to apologize. So this lady has a look on
her face as I walked by, But I can't keep my mouth. I
don't know what to do now in this moment, like I should have gone
to some I tried to do a stock joke. My whole timing was off
and everything. You know. I had a joke about a vineyard where everybody
starts to go to a wine tasting and they all use those words they've never
used before. They all start trying to sound smart, like is this olky?
That's olki, And they're walking around and then they start telling me the
things you taste in it? Right? And that person tells you, do
you taste lemon gras? Ask you got it? He taste lemon grass,
there's a little lemongrass, do you taste? And the Asian pear taste the
Asian pair, and I always remember being there, going your palette so good.
Not only can you tell me the fruit, but the continent it's from.
It was a funny. It's kind of a funny joke. And then
I say, I I toured the vineyard. I I have not seen an
Asian or a pair on the entire vineyard. I think, okay, but
what it's just fine. I couldn't even get through that because my head was
kind of like, I'm going these guys are gonna jump me, like I
really just that one name I was. But even there, all I was
gonna do is this woo all right? Time to go, you know?
And then with two of them, who knows? All right, I apologize
now that this is the second time I've apologized. I didn't need to make
anybody uncomfortable. Okay, now I made people uncomfortable. Oh yeah, so
I go back to the guy with the mustache. I didn't need to do
that. Okay. This is how many times have I said this, lady,
you need to tourne it down town, it down honey for a second
dom the Walmart versus see. I wanted to do that. I wanted Gomer
to say, what you know, beef, it's what's for dinner, like
all this ship. But I couldn't do anything. I was like God,
I like, they all hear me dinner, your appetizers are going to come
out, and that's it, your dinner and your advertisers are coming out.
Thanks a lot of folks couldn't. I think my favorite part of the entire
time was during dinner. Yeah, when you pop the microphone back out again.
I just want to apologize again. Let's give it up for the girls
Spencer Port soccer team. Yeah, they go in the state tomorrow. Let's
get around with plots for that. Fifty fifty tickets are still all amen.
But I didn't go running out of there. I mean, look, I
figured I made the uh I you know, I stuck my foot in my
mouth. What am I gonna do? Right? I like how your own
it? Well I have. I'm a big believer in life no matter what
happens. Because I could sit here and go, well, the guy didn't.
The guy told me that joke was okay. I if you gotta ask,
you know, the joke's not okay. And nothing that happens to you
is anybody else's fault. But your own no matter what it is, even
if it's ship that you just don't know. It came out It came out
of the No, it didn't come out of the blue. It came out
of the oblivion. You were oblivious to shit going on. You're not tuned
in somewhere to some stuff. I really, I sincerely believe that. And
don't you believe everybody is so sensitive? Well see, I mean everybody.
You can't say that the comedians cannot be comedians. Arry was like, oh
offended everything right, it's crazy. But I think that I could have brought
them back had I gone over to the guys who were there was like two
tables of and then some of these gentlemen were older, and I probably had
seen war like real war, you know, not that Afghanistan or anything wasn't
but it wasn't war like Vietnam. That was no no, no, no,
no, no, no, no. What I'm saying. But what
I was going to say about what I was gonna say to these guys was
you guys have seen some of the worst of humanity. You know, you
served in war time. Uh, what's harder? War or marriage? And
I think they would have I think that wouldn't laughed. It would have gotten
to laugh. I'm sure because you're talking older people. It's simple, quick
joke, just on the fly. That's what I needed to do. But
once I asked it and I was doing that, it was going well.
Even with the grown joke, I could have brought them back. Then I
asked about one specific human being that I didn't realize and even if my asshole
puckered when he said it, but if I if I hadn't, if I
had stopped, there was bullfucker. But if I had stopped to think about
it, I would have gone, Yeah, that guy brought disgrace to everybody
in the uniform in that town who really really busted their ass to make things
right. And I always found the humor in that story. I'm going,
this is the most bizarre story of the time that it was happening with all
of these different but it was three individuals. But we but that feels like
we've painted an entire department with the well no, and I shouldn't I but
I didn't realize that, and it was gosh, it had to be fifteen
years ago at least, at least I think at least three chiefs. Yeah,
I mean, well, I tell you this, it was Todd Baxter,
who's now the sheriff of our county, who went and actually restored respect
if that if there's if that's the right word, to that department. He
really did a nice job. But it was honestly, they had great people
in there. I just didn't realize. And man, I thought stefinitely,
I thought this guy was gonna get up and just start swinging a big,
old wiry guy, you know, an older gentleman who keeps the flat top.
You know, fuck with those guys. You know what I'm saying.
You know what it's like. You just don't you ever feel like this back
my career, my business? Ever, No, I don't because I think
that I don't think anybody ever really thinks that much about us. I don't
think other people really think that much, that deeply into things, you know
what I mean. First of all, I'm not on terrestrial radio anymore.
You got to do a little more work to find the podcast. I hope
you do. I hope your friends do. I would love for more people
to hear it. But I know I know the the barriers to what I'm
doing these days, and I think most of those people probably aren't any you
know, they're not gonna boycott my podcast because I did something. I don't
even think they were that offended. I think that it was just in that
moment one guy was and that just that everybody else is like, he's really
pissted, and so they weren't, you know what I mean because even afterwards
I sat at the bar for a while because I wouldn't say ninety percent of
the room was fantastically entertained by you. Yeah, it was five or six
people. Wife number three is one of them that was like, not guy,
he was a wife number three numbers Well, I'm not saying that that
did not come out of my mind. I don't need these people coming to
but they were all they were all fine. They were all fine in the
end. But that's what you do if you you you know, I figured
this way most people. Now, I'm not a comedian. I love doing
it, but I'm not a comedian by you know, the standards. But
I always think to your point, too, most people become a comedian to
say whatever they want. And I think the comedians today, some of them
I would even put in the you know, I would classify them as almost
philosophers, modern day philosophers. I think that a lot of what Chappelle says
is real commentary on society that's very intelligently done. Yeah, really really well
done. I think Bill Bird great commentary on society, and it's it's well
thought out. You know, if you watch his Red Rock special where he
talks about abortion and how torn he is about it, I think it's something
that most people can really relate to, you know, yeah, right,
because yeah, I mean I watched I caught a piece on like the CBS
Sunday Morning Show. I think it was a retired guy who was the head
of it. I forget what he was, but he was something high up
where he would had to write policy and things, and he said, look,
when it comes to abortion, I don't there really can't be. It
should be somebody's choice, you know, because if you're gonna outlaw it,
well I hope you're making services available for people who are going to be raising
kids without certain parents, right, or helping a young woman who's now got
to raise a child at sixteen years old who has no ability to do that.
So it was an interesting commentary, and I just think sometimes the philosophy
of the comedians are kind of like that too. They can talk about stuff
that people are you got it exactly, and put a little humor to it,
right, And that's the thing. I just didn't do that last night.
But Kevin, he was so excited. He was so excited to be
there to see that coat down. I told him, But he recorded it
and sent it to me. I told him. At one point last night,
I resigned as the head writer of all Right, well, we'll take
a moment. I know that one of the things you like to do is
is sometimes scare people, right, Yeah, did you get that from your
mom? No? Did she do it to you? Everybody likes to scare
me. You've got a good reaction. But see, you don't seem like
you're an easy scare to me. And you've seen some scary ship I mean
literally yeah. Yeah. Even my father did that to me to startle was
underneath the window and like, yeah, she doesn't look scary. So well,
there was a Halloween thing that I found that went a little bad for
people. Will get into it. I gotta tell you Halloween. Yeah,
wait, oh my god, that was crazy. I gotta make it real
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I even said the guy apology. I go, look, I don't want
anybody to bet that upset with me, But man, I'll tell you what.
It makes me want to go do more comedy again. There is even
something about where they turn on you a little bit. I kind of like
that. Well it's it's a little sat o massachist, isn't it. But
there is something to me that I have always thought that comedy is the purest
art form because in a play, if you flubb, someone can cover your
line. In a band, someone could, you know, as the drummer
back there. You could just get a little loud or do something. If
you bomb, it is just you and a microphone, and man, it's
awesome. It is awesome. It's sometimes there's I have seen guys completely just
ship the bed and I go, it's amazing. And I've seen guys do
it and pull it back and that's really cool too. I go that that
to me is you know, I will write the roadmap, the roadmap to
the Promise Land. Uh, we're playing that because Stephanie is a very funny
story. We'll get to in just a moment. But h Halloween, I
saw this and I go, you know, I remember Stephanie talking about scaring
people and enjoying scaring. Do you ever scare Mike? No, By the
way, I didn't go to your Halloween party, but everybody raved about what
a great guy that is. Oh he's solid. I told you No,
I know. No, I didn't care for him. Oh yeah, no.
But Danny and Kevin and others are all going, yeah, man,
great guy, really cool. And I was like, that's good. That's
better off not going to that party. From when I heard. From what
I heard, I think my favorite part of her party was me checking Id's
at uh oh, he went down. He went down to Yeah. Did
you know he stepped in and started asking people for I was by his son.
I was trying to covers. He's ten dollars police ID. I'm like,
he that's pretty funny. How much one zero dollars? But then he's
like, you're cube, you can get in for free. Did you say
that until they went around to the side and then they got stopped again for
the cover. No, they were doing covers out front. They were checking
it these and covers. There was no cover. They were just checking it,
like you said, Oh that is the bouncer called me on it.
He's like, I have had to have fun. Oh my god. I
used to film my middle son and I would pop out of everywhere and scare
him and he would yeah. And I think if I tried to go back
and find some of the stuff on YouTube and I couldn't find it, but
I used to scare the ship out of him and he would get so many
Come on, cut it out, it's ridiculous. Well, this couple at
Halloween decided that they were going to do a prank on the kids. New
Tonight twelve News has the nine to one one call from a Halloween clown prank
in West Bend. The police say, went too far, too far.
There's a clown inside, like an asshole clunt inside the house right now?
Do you know who it is? No? Is there anybody else inside with
him? My friend's here, Okay, did you get here? Okay?
Imagine being this little kid thinking that your friend's parents are inside, Yeah,
inside with a clown. So the clown comes in, they don't know.
It's not like the dad because dad's there. It's not the mom because mom's
there. As well. And this is some kid who's at this party calling
nine one one freaking out. You can hear the like they have to be
about eleven. My friend's hearing. Okay, did get here please? Police
say they responded to a frantic nine to one one call Saturday night on Decker
Drive as a home invasion in progress. Okay. A homeowner had a family
member enter the home dressed as a clown to scare a group of teenagers.
Okay, sounds kind of funny, right, I mean, can you see
it? Come on? Fortunately, something we would my neighbor and my neighbor
and I did that. Going is a psycho one of those knives that goes
back into the handle. There was a house we went to this year that
they had somebody sitting outside like still. Like my neighbor and I both knew
the guy was gonna jomp, so we we just sent the kids. Yeah,
just just go, guys, it's it's cool. Just go. And
I scared that a living ship out of it was hilarious. Yeah, it
is kind of funny with kids. It is as long as the one as
long as they don't hurt themselves running away. That's when you feel bad.
Listen, there's a twist and ankle or it's just some kind of emergency room
bill. Now you got to deal with that. And then the one kid
that wouldn't go up after everything was done, like did you want to bag
of candy? You feel bad that we made you? Gets scared. At
one point, the parent gets on the phone. We're okay, we're just
playing a joe. Sorry they called you. My daughter had a friend on
the phone. I'm sorry. Daughter. The forty year old home for dis
orderly conduct, and police say the department recognizes this was intended to be a
Halloween prank, but the investigating officer believed it was carried too far. When
my parent involved, it didn't put an end to the joke before once.
Yeah, that's what they say. Stupid it is, but you learn your
lesson. You're not doing that shit again. I know it time well.
But the thing is, but on the other side of it, it's like
a waste of their resources. Right, they send somebody out because they think
something's going on. Years ago, nobody could call'd be on a house to
make a phone call. Every's got a phone. Everybody does like this,
Yes, and that's the bad thing too, because I always go, you
know, what everybody has really in their pocket is a TV station. Yes,
you do anything, and you don't even know how how much you're on
camera these days, right, the ring doorbell? Is that what this is
from. I'm sorry, I didn't even think of that as we're talking.
It just popped into my head. There's a ring doorbell. But you're on
camera so often, Like I think there's some guy who just recently is accused
of killing his wife and they think they found surveillance video of him getting rid
of the body. Yeah, but it's like some you know, some back
in some backwoods, right, the guys off some beaten path and there happened
to be maybe a trail cam or yeah. Yeah, I mean you just
never know. Going back to the beginning of the show, didn't the podcast
in general that Idaho Killer wasn't that wasn't that all that discovered on video?
And it was a ring camera from other people? Yeah, other people's houses.
And now they're saying that they it's going to be really hard to convict
him even with the DNA. Really. Yeah, there was some headline.
I didn't read the article, but really, yeah, that's a disturbing,
right, But yes. The point is that nowadays and and sometimes you can
get goaded. Like if I were a kid in modern world, you don't
think i'd try to get a substitute teacher to lose it on me or lose
it on somebody, and then we could film it and then laugh or asks
off, put it on snap. Chad would be the greatest thing in the
world, exploding, you know what I mean, he could do all this
stuff, right. But but at the same time, then at the same
time, we got Clyde Savannah on the other side of the spectrum where they're
taping stuff. Yeah, yeah, well did you hear about that? So
in Clyde Savannah, Uh, there's been a horrible case where a couple of
seniors on the football team. The team had gone eight and o and they
were playing for their league championship. They held down a freshman on the varsity
team and sodomized them with like a broomstick while other kids filmed it. And
one one kid showed it to his grandfather, and the grandfather called police and
they've done a whole investigation and I think it is disgusting and I think,
uh, you know, it's been It was a lot of I'm sure attention
against small town, right, so everybody knows everybody, and uh, yeah
it's pretty bad. Yeah, pretty bad. But Stephanie, what happened on
your So? I did see in your what was it your story? It
was no candy. I went to a bunch of stores and they were all
out of Halloween candy and I had a lot of showings with work, so
I was barely gonna make it home on time for this to start. So
I did a bunch all sold out. I couldn't freaking believe it. So
I went to the dollar store and got a bunch of hand sanitizer tupacs.
I figured it kind of goes with eating candy and cold and flu season.
I think, what else am I going to do? So I left a
little no and my roos? Were you not home? I was home?
What happened is my ring camera is broken. I need to fix it.
It'll do like images and showless, but I can live watch it, but
like won't record videos live anymore. It's just just like person shows up.
So I'm watching these little kids and I'm in tears. I'm just crying,
and I'm like, I gotta find a way. So you know how you
can screen record on your phone, so I win it. No, actually
I don't. Oh I can show you that screen cry, but like in
the past, I couldn't pulled up. So I was doing this research while
I'm laughing at these kids. What they're saying, you can screen re cord,
and I got that on my ring. So what did you do?
You put a bowl out, like a help yourself type and I said,
I'm sorry. I went to three stores were all out of candy. Here's
some hand sanitizer if you'd like. I had some Taco Bell packets right attached,
right, Yeah, you're in take it. I am, I am
kid sounds like he's five. I'm not taking a hand sanitizer. I gotta
fast forward to this little I used to hate when I got pennies when I
was a kid. You get a little back for pennies. They're mad around.
One little kid tries to read it, Okay, hi from when show
now Halloween exact? Oh, so I can't be reading like, oh that's
cutey. That was really cute. The funniest one was that I was trying
to figure out how to record this. These two princesses, they were probably
seven years old. Like, I can't believe this, just like this one
kid was mean. They walk ups. You can talk through the ring camp,
I can't. Who will come? Just just stores? Fuck you?
The camera on top is that his mother and a background thank you. Now
he sees the camera, thank you, thank you, thank you, he
said, thank you. It's my locker. Anyway, I was freaking.
There's funny ones. But yeah, I was in tears and I didn't want
to forget out because I was just laughing. And I don't you could watch
it for a now, well, I wouldn't want to open up the door
without candy. Yeah, I don't blame it. And Halloween was always a
great time to look in at your neighbor's house and see what they had if
you never, like if you didn't know him, well, like the people
down the street that you weren't, Like, Hey, everybody with screen doors,
so they would take the bottom screen out so they di wouldn't even open
that door. They would just hand out the candy through the bottom screen.
In Utica, yeah, little houses. Yeah, I used to love taking
the boys around, like from house to house and getting got it. I
talked to I Top Brady this year. The art of going about seven thirty
quarter to eight, Yeah, and getting the bull dumps. Yes, yes,
I have video somewhere of my youngest kid getting the bull dump. They're
like take two and then he goes to camera. Oh he's the greatest guys
over having a great time. He's like seven, Yeah, yeah, I
had it. I'm like, he didn't do that. Yeah, Like he
and I went because you know, the older boys there were about eight to
ten years older than him, so they would go off on their own.
So I would take him around. He was like six or seven, and
we even hit a house that was there was no sidewalk on the side,
and the guy goes, I have nothing. He goes, hang on a
second. He came back and he gave him five bucks. You didn't do
anything. He's like, no, no, no, I'm good. But
it was like just off. You know, it was a neighborhood, but
it was just a house that kind of sat on this one side of the
street. They didn't have a sidewalk or anything. No one went there.
So James is like, I want to hit every house we can, and
I go, all right, we're in, buddy, let's go. Dad's
got his guinness for good. Go that that was good. The kids tried
to get in the wagon this year that we were pulling around and they're like,
no, no, that's for the coolers. Oh yeah, get out
walk. Yeah, that was the thing, like in the neighborhood. And
I would assume you'dica had walking neighborhoods, and all mine was so Roman you
were like spread way out. I go in, You're go into little trailer
parks. Yeah yeah, Tucker Mouth, Yeah I was. I was just
gonna say, did you go home and check for needles and stuff your mother
did? I would think like if there was gonna come from anywhere, and
this is very very judgmental, it could come from any home at all.
But I did hear somebody found something in an apple, like a pin or
something this year. Yeah? Oh really Yeah Yeah. When I was a
kid too, Yeah, there would be somebody. You'd hear the stories of
a razor blade, get a pin or a razor blade in there without being
seen. Just who's the one person's going to give you drugs on Halloween?
I've never met that personally. Yeah, extra, come on, what's up?
We see you know a small town like where I grew up, It
was near kind of near the Woodstock area, so you had a lot of
people that were just hanging around right after Woodstock. They just stayed, you
know, they did. It was but I remember going to graduation parties and
people were smoking joints with like people's moms getting it. They would grow it.
My parents weren't very cool like that, but they but yeah they would.
Yeah, it was. It was different. Did they people grow in
Utica? Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, but because it was very
good customers, they grow well. I got to like in fourth grade.
When I was in fourth grade, the drug counselor came in and he burned
marijuana and goes, if you ever smell this, kids, you come and
find an adult, and no, it doesn't smell like that now, And
I would tell people I now. I had a teacher who told me when
we were in high school. He said, do not smoke a joint.
He said, it's so hot it could melt the soldering on a roach clip.
If you're going to smoke, smoke it through a water bod so it's
not that heat getting into your lungs because it's not just the smoke, but
the heat will damage your r he said. So he goes and even better
yet eat it. So we would eat like there were people who made cookies
with it when I was a kid, and brownies everybody knew. And now
the gummies. I'm a big fan. I'm a fan of the gummies.
I'm drug Yeah see and that's one oxy. When did you When did you
have the surgery? I had it Monday, Monday? Yeah, damn,
that's quick. So I never had anything. I mean, it's just now
and it hurts a little bit, but and it's all gummies all night long.
Really, what do you mind me asking what milligram? I can't even
answer that. I cut the little wormies up like little baby pieces. Yeah,
yeah, because I don't like to be stupid. I no, I
must be like a lightweight because I've seen people do a bunch of stuff,
but I always found tens kind of it's too much. Five two and a
half. That's a nice, steady little thing for me. But my brother
took my mom to a party and they kept going, come on, do
it, and all of a sudden she just reached it and popped one in
her mouth, and I think it was without I think it was a ten.
I think it was just a ten. And then my brother calls me
and goes, you got to see this. She's laughing, talking and laughing
and so and then my dad goes, you know, I think I want
to try one of those gummy bears, right, And they were like,
you know my parents. His big story was it would always brag to me
as a kid. Yeah, when Woodstock was happening, I was wearing a
three piece suit on the way to a wedding. We were going the opposite
direction on the throughway of everybody goes, I wasn't doing any of that stuff.
Well, now it's like everybody, but what we're seeing like we really
kind of criminalize something that maybe had benefits. I mean, no, she
can't even tell my dad that's what she's doing. Oh really well, I
mean just think about your your own but with this, yeah, and the
medical benefits to that. As you're saying, you're not putting opioids in your
body, that's a great. That's the biggest problem we have in this country
right now is people who are getting hooked to that and then finding heroin and
then what it's cut with now that is killing every you know, fentanyl that's
killing people. Yeah, it is crazy. Now I hear that they're even
putting fenyl in, so you have to be careful. Yeah, when I
was a kiddy, yeah, I remember there were kids who had LSD laced,
you know, on weed. And then yeah, my parents are such
freaky. Timothy Leary lived not far from where I grew up. Now,
he had had a mansion and he was at one of the I think he
was doing some kind of psychological study at one of the universities in the area.
And he had long left. Yeah, I think he had already gone
and run for I think he tried to run for governor of California and then
wound up in jail. And uh. I used to have to ride a
bike. I had a construction job at fifteen. I used to just go
around and clean up the construction site. And you know, I had They
had me sweeping off roofs before they played the tar paper down, so I'd
be up there. Ocean would kill these guys, but I would have to
ride my bike past the old Timothy Leary mansion. My mother, do not
get too close to that. She was worried. Yeah, like they were
gonna come out. The boogeyman wants some acid. It's like, come on
now, She's like, what what were you thinking? I don't know.
I would listen to everybody else, Like, well, stop stop listening to
everybody else, Sue, It's been a pleasure. I hope you have a
speedy recovery with that. Yeah, it was fun. It was fun,
and you were great. Great stories. I learned about sugaring. I heard
about stay away from Stephanie's house at Halloween. You're just gonna get a hand
sanitizer. See that's old school. The kids don't have the balls they used
to do. Because I was thinking that my buddies. Yes, and I
think when I was a kid, that hand sanitizer would have gone through a
window. Oh yeah, yeah, somebody would have fired it back at like
ninety miles an hour. So right, and you lucked out. It's a
better society today. It's a better society for Sue, for Stephanie, for
Kevin. I'm Bill Moran will see you tomorrow, Oh tomorrow doing it live
from the Bill's Mafia House for the Monday night game in Buffalo pre game,
so we won't have the exact results, but you'll hear all the ship that's
coming down to Buffalo