H well, hello, thank you so much for checking in. I'm Laura
Kane. This is Laura Kane after Dark. This is Eric Rimmer. Hi,
my bff, my friend, my love, my soul mate. Yeah,
we are soul mates. We are. You don't need hey, you
don't need to be in love to be soulmates. It's just your souls just
need to be connected and we are. I don't know if that's the case
or not. Well, maybe you need to look up the definition of soul
meat. Okay, Okay, go for it. Oh my god, that's
funny. Anyway. Okay, so you guys. First things first, we're
having a party. It's at the end of this month, May twenty ninth.
Yes, now it's my birthday's May twenty four, so we can add
that in maybe. But the main reason we're having it is our producer Extraordinariya
one year anniversary with the show is we have well now, we're planning a
roast, we are planning a party, we have a presentation, we have
prizes to give away, and you are invited to come hang out in my
living room and watch the show live and watch all of this go down and
can help us celebrate. Brian it's at six thirty May twenty ninth, my
house. But you need to be a subscriber because we kind of want to
know who you are before you come into the house. You know what I'm
saying. I'm just trying to be a little bit and we want you to
be a subscriber to It's only four ninety nine a month and it's easy.
Just it's on Instagram. Drop in the bucket, just to drop in the
bucket, you know, and you guys are special, so you get like
you guys get the picked to be in this at this party, and it's
going to be a lot of fun. We'll figure out what food we're gonna
have. We'll have something random. We had corn last time. We have
a we had a low tate last time. We'll figure out something fun to
have this time. Snacks, drinks and party and prizes. Six thirty May
twenty nine to celebrate Brian's going to be a blast. Be a subscriber.
We would love it real quick. I found a definition of soulmate. Okay,
not gonna like it. Oh. Soulmate is a person with one with
whom one has a feeling of deep or natural and affinity involving some morality,
love, romance, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, oh, sex, will,
activity, spirituality, compatibility, and trust, well all the rest,
all the rest. We just don't do it. No, we don't.
You guys, we are we are non sexual soulmates. There you go.
See that's one of the prime I can just knock it that one. I'm
still going to use that word. I'm going to use that word. I
don't care. I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear that definition. You
are my grace to soulmates and non sexuals. Yeah, thank you, You're
welcome. It almost seems more so though if I was into chicks, I
would totally bang you. Would you totally you'd be really totally thank you in
like a casual way or is no like I mean full on hardcore like wow,
with like commitment or no commitment? Oh commitment? Oh really, I
wouldn't be just like a monogamy. We would be like a couple. We'd
be together, like we get married and stuff. Oh for sure. Yeah
wow, hay when mom and dad about marriage oh and doing it and stuff,
that's so gross. I know, Mom and dad, stop it,
Okay, you know what we're doing or what we did tonight. No,
we didn't do it, but we went to a happy hour with our friend
Jay Wurtzler Capital Growth thing. But I'm exhausted. I know. He's funny,
he is hilarious. He's a good person to the core. He's a
money manager and he works at Capital Growth, Inc. It's him and his
partner. They started this business thirty five years ago. They're at the UTC
building at the Avanteene or the Avanteine in UTC. Really easy to get to.
He is waiting for you to call if you have any questions about your
money, how to grow your money, how to have enough money for retirement.
I mean, he have another pair of eyes. Look at that for
you, And why wouldn't you want somebody to help you your money, work
for you, make it grow, It can happen. I mean, you
just need to know. Maybe you're not knowledgeable. He is helped millions of
people. Oh, he's helped millions of dollars. He helped people get millions
of dollars. Yeah, what what should I do? Call him if I
had any money to manage, or or email him or or look at his
website. Website, I have the information for all three. Please bring it
call Ja at eighty five eight five five two six nine zero. You can
email the man at JAYW at Capitol Growthinc. Dot com and he has a
website w w w dot Capitol Growthinc. Dot com. Producer Brian checked out
the website. He says it is it's good and just a good website.
It's on our website too. In case you missed all this information, go
to Laura Kane after dark dot com and you'll see it down. You'll scroll
down a little bit and you'll see it if you want to talk to Jay
and I think you do. Okay, now it's my host chat. I
have a problem. Oh boy, we have a problem. You have a
problem. Okay, I have yet to decide that it's my problem or not.
Um, okay, how do I let me? Let me start this
by saying, can I guess You'll never guess a gummy bear addiction? No,
that's gone. Although I have had one bag, okay, I know,
but I've been better. I've been only had one bag in a week.
I used to have two every day. Yes, Oh yeah, I
was reall I know. So okay, give me a little break talk.
You have a UTI. I don't have a uti. No, shut up.
What the hell do you guys know? Not that kind of problems.
Top it. You can't poop I did today. Oh my god, that's
amazing problems. I've pooped today. So we're all good. No, not
okay, okay, it's not the summer yet, not right now, but
maybe later. But my mom needed some little things done at the house.
Some of her sighting on the side of her house had it was cracked and
a couple of the boards broke off. Don't tell me you handled this yourself.
Just wait a minute, all right. She needed a dimmer put in
one of the lights in the dining room, and she needed a ceiling fan
put up in my sister's room. Okay, So she was like, I
don't know, how do I hire a handyman, somebody that's gonna you know,
I'm not gonna be worried about being in this house. She's eighty two
years old. You know you don't want some random person coming in your house.
I said, I know who could do it for you, and he
wouldn't charge you that much. And it's Antonio because he knows how to do
all that handyman stuff. So I asked him. I'm like, Antonio my
mom paid you a couple hundred bucks. Would you do these three things for
her? She's like, he said, yes, no problem, so I
kindness of his heart. He took his weekend which he has off, and
devoted it to my mother, which I thought was great. Sorry, yeah,
yeah, we like him a lot, not boyfriend material anymore because we
know that, but we love we do really love him. Yes, okay,
so my he really needs a new truck. He has this two thousand
and four Toyota Tacoma that the handles on the outside have broken off. On
the inside you can't get out of the passenger door because that broke off.
It's a mess, okay, but it runs. So he's been wanting a
new Toyota Tacoma. He wants a used one. On the way up together,
I said to him, I go, you know what. I don't
know why, but I have a feeling that we are going to be driving
two cars home. Don't ask me why, but I think that we're going
to find something in Rancho Cucamonga. Oh, she's a sensitive stop it or
what what what's the term he use? Uh? Sensitive? I say that
I'm a sensitive trucks. No, I think I manifested this damn thing.
Well listen or you just knew you were looking for one. Well, we
get off the freeway. The minute we get off the free right, we
see a white He went to four door two four door Toyota Tacoma truck with
US for sales sign on the window, and I'm like, look, let's
check that out. Who knows, Like, let's see how much it is?
You know? So we get closer. We couldn't really see the price.
I flagged the guy down. We go and see a parking lot.
It's this old Mexican man. Yes we did, Yes we did. And
we moved and we said, hey, what's up with the truck? How
much do you want? Um? What years? At this and that?
And it was less than ten grand. It was a two thousand and eight.
Everything was perfect with this one man took great care of it. He
was the only owner. One thing led to another. We managed to get
the money. He buys the car. Okay, so we're driving home.
I'm driving the car home. No, no, nothing happened, but I
drove. I drove the new one because I can't drive his other car because
it's a stick shift and it's like the clutch is weird. I drove the
new one. The minute I get in my seatbelts on the seatbelt, things
keeps going off for like a minute, and then it goes off. I'm
like okay, and then it blinks the whole entire time. All right,
so that needs to be fixed. No big deal. The engine sounds fine.
I went to get a coke at McDonald's on the way home. Roll
down the window, Earth rolls down about halfway. Then it stops, So
that's broken. Then I wanted to honk when I came up upon my mom's
house to say, hey, we're here. Push it doesn't work. Wait,
I'm sorry. You guys bought it to coma site on scene. Yep,
oh guy, you get home. I oh. We went to his
house. We called him exchange numbers and went to his house. Blah blah
blah blah. All within like you know, like an hour or two period.
It was a rush. Yes, we were like running on adrenal and
we thought this was it. Make sure they nope. We took it for
a test drive when we got there and it sounded okay. Um. I
tried to start it when I was out running errands with my mom and uh
one time, it didn't. Um Antonio looked at the body of it real
closely, and he goes, I think this car has been rolled because some
of the things aren't right. Long story short, we may have made a
mistake. This is why we talk about things before we do them. Oh
my god, I have so much anxiety right now. But listen, I
need your help. Everybody. Does anybody know of anybody selling He wants specifically
a four door Toyota Tacoma, preferably after the year twenty fifteen, And we
don't want to spend any no, um, why after fifteen it's pretty recent
still, I think he deserves a truck. That's at least what's he going
to do with the one. I'm gonna sell both of them for. I
hope we can sell it for at least as much as we paid. Well,
look, I will definitely get what I'm gonna do tomorrows. I'm gonna
take the truck and say, hey, this is this isn't work, this
doesn't work, this doesn't work. This light won't go off, this light
won't go off. Blah blah blah blah blah. How much did you talk
to the guy you sold it? Sold to you? No, I asked
him. I said to Antonio, I was like, let's just tell him
take it back. He didn't tell us to any of these things. When
we were talking to him the whole time, saying how great this truck was,
and he goes, no, he has the money. He's not gonna
want it back. He has the money, which was nine grand. Oh
god, he wanted ten is nine grands. But I think I was looking
online many miles real quick. I don't want to tell you one hundred and
fifty thousand. It adds over two hundred, oh god, close to three
hundred, over three hundred. What nine grand for a truck with over three
hundred thousand miles? Look? I googled the same truck and that there's a
bunch of them for sale for at least twelve No, but how many?
How many miles on them? Not three hundred thousand? Yes, that's insane,
like five mine. No, it's worth more than that because of rank
can get you a mir with like one hundred and fifty. I of manifestation,
are not really stuck anybody. I'm gonna throw anyway, you guys nine
should dollars anything or make any car deals? Ever does anybody have a car
that I toota Tacoma they want to sell for under fifteen grand Antonia is not
better like this? Like he should have known that. Like I think he
was vibing off my energy because I'm so excited about it. Oh my god,
had I been there this, we wouldn't even be having this conversation.
I've been there, we wouldn't have flagged down a car. But again,
I drove it home all the way home from Ranche Cugamaca last night. That's
a miracle. It was fine. It was fine. The radio works,
CD works, that's all fine stuff. Yeah. Wow, Yeah, a
work, Yes, that works. Shot, the doors work, Yes,
the doors work. Window, the window doesn't work. Sometimes it doesn't turn
over right, and then it may or may not. All the lights are
on. That probably has frame damage probably, yeah, may or may not
have been in a total role, which would make it worthless. Oh right,
Yeah, Does anybody want to buy this glorious truck? Yeah? For
parts? The engine is the most valuable thing. Yeah. No, and
the engine has three hundred thousand miles. I can't you know what even We're
gonna get that money back somehow, Yes, we will guaranteed if you sell
for like, you know, two hundred bucks and then make like, you
know, stripping or something. Yeah, what if we took both trucks the
other ones in two thousand and four and it's a mess, both trucks to
a dealership. No? Does they take trade in salvage? Title trade in?
Yeah? No? Does anyone any money want to buy? Hey,
I know how you could make I knew how you could make the nine grand
back and maybe another thousand. What you and Antonio could have sex on it
on only fans? No thanks? Or maybe that was like a broth like
a mobile in the back. Totally don't tell me this, like the pimp
andhoe mobile. The only place they'll take it is literally the junkyard. Yeah,
I don't think. Hey, after the podcast, I'm gonna have you
go down and look at it. So wait, it's a beautiful Did he
did he transfer title to you? Yep? Oh boy? Oh well done
on your brand. Do you do things like this just for the show?
No, that's the sad thing. I would respect if it was just the
show. But remember if I thought it was the most exciting thing in the
whole wide world. Remember a few weeks ago when I said I have some
magic beans that I want to say. So I still have those beans,
I know. Do you want to buy them? Yeah? Probably, I'll
do anything. I'll buy anything. I only have three hundred thousand miles on
too. Wow. Well here, the reason we acted so fast is because
we weren't only going to be at my mom's and that truck was gonna sell
fast. Oh yeah, it was gone really fast. You should never buy
a car like oh my god, I especially from a random guy on the
street. Where is he? I'm going to give you guys some schooling.
I don't know. He's sleeping like a wake his ass up. He isn't
unhappy. I feel like I'm gonna throw opera. He feels like he knows.
Okay, So he thinks somebody that he knows down in Cabo wants this
truck and you can't. And so that is the solution for thirteen thousand,
this truck. He'll take it for thirteen Well that's what they say. He
said. He said he heard from his friend that another guy would buy it
for that much down and he better drive it down there and sell it a
media make sure the guy wears a blindfold. But he does. But I
don't think they have a lot of They don't have a lot to pick and
choose it from down there. Dollars really probably why know? They kept saying
meal. The guy was from Mexico and so is Antonio, and they were
like talking about meal, you know, you know, and I'm likes mil
like a million, but that's like in pay so it's a million pacos is
like about what we paid or oh my god, but it sounded like a
lot. Oh, that guy has probably got all your money spread out and
it's just rolling around. And the guy was so sad about leaving his car
because he's attached that car. You took good care of that, you do.
It sounds like he kissed the car goodbye. Oh hero hugged the car
go by. Wow, man, I want to meet that guy, old
man, he is some actor. Yeah. Wow, he took real good
care of the frame. Damnag. He hugged the car and gave it a
kiss goodbye. He's probably like, I hope you make it back to Sandy
as he also finishing his pants to kiss him death on the car. Oh
my god. So anyway, that's my host story. Makes me upset,
said sorry, it makes me good. No, it's not wine with framed
salvage. Show car is almost worthless. Yeah, we don't know that it
has framed damage. We're thinking that maybe last time, if you didn't know
something was real or not, you had to give you the money. But
I'm not a mechanic, but just hearing this story, I'm going to say,
yes, well, I'm going to take it tomorrow. We'll see what
the guy says. I can't wait. I know I will. I will
give you an update on Monday. Oh god, anyway, that's the show.
I know. I'm just kidding. All right, us save us.
I'm out of here at twenty minutes. I'm out. Save us, save
us chat. It's a good one, okay, Yeah, do you have
a blindfold? If she does it, your host chat is use this T
shirt? Yeah, put it over your head. You're not gonna like this.
Wait, why am I doing this? Let me take us? Who
wrought some creepy critters with them snaked? Are we not that there's time?
It's exotic? He did show me the It'd better not be anything with like
octopus or seafood of any kind, or I can think it with complete honesty.
It's nothing that crazy. But your blind falld on. Oh my god.
In fact, some of it is stuff I would actually quite like to
eat. If you don't eat it, I actually probably will eat it afterwards.
I'm being actually very like you can ask Eric, I mean very honest
about that. Actually, Oh my god, well you know what I know.
She doesn't like anything. Well you're gonna learn today. Oh my god.
Okay, oh, this looks like you're about to get kidnapped by I
don't like Batman's taken your back here. Now I need something for my My
mouth has to be available. It does. Oh my god. Oh I
don't like this game at all. Where's the microphone? There? It is,
okay, I just don't my headphone. What the first time we got
raw Calamari? Oh god, no, I will h okay, ready,
it's like moldy baby food. This is the first one. Oh no,
not the first one? Wait? Wait, are you gonna you just get
you? Just get you just is it better be the smallest. It's a
performance. Okay? Do I get to smell it first? No? Yes,
you can't. No, no, no, don't you can't know it's
just down the hatch. Is it a tiny bite? Yes? Yeah,
Ready, open your mouth that's the first one. Okay, yeah, horse
reddish, Yeah, you know. I'm not good with hot things. Here's
my eyes. Water makes me sweat. Oh my god, red bull after
a horse bread? Okay, oh my god. Ready for the next month.
This one's not that bad. No, that's good. Here, better
go with horse. Ready, that's all. It's not that bad. Which
one was that? I swear to golf you throw up? I don't better
throw up. I won't be out that door. I won't. I about
turned the evil dead in here. It's not that. Which one was that?
It was? Blue cheese dressing good. I don't pluck dressing on my
salad when I eat. I don't like dressing. That's just about the salad.
Blue cheese goes good. A lot of things not a plane and not
blindfolded. Let me just say put it that way. Oh my god,
I'm not ready for this. Did you have more paper towels? Yeah?
No, I'm not ready. Let me take a simple water. I've had
like lots of really weird taste in my mouth. How many of these do
we have? Five? I'm ay puke tonight? Oh my god. Okay,
ready zen lard, chill, chill, chill, Ready, I don't
wise a texture. You know, this is disgusting. Oh, don't chew
with your mouth open. Oh, I don't talk while you're eating. I.
Oh, what the fuck? I decided that I'm not gonna eat bite
that one. I didn't like the texture, and it really upset me.
So I decided to take it out. And what was it? Didn't it
tasted like what it was? Um? Gooda cheese spread, literally like literally
a delicacy. GOODA cheese is great. You are such a such a pain.
Good cheese is great. You can you need another paper towel? No,
for gooda cheese ready? So this one's really good? Actually, like
I, oh, Brian, you shut up. Okay, no, no,
let me one hundred percent honest. If you didn't like this, I
would love it. Like if you didn't want it, I would eat it
me too. Yeah. That doesn't. That doesn't make this number four.
Try and take like a bite of it, just chew it. Just throw
it back in your mouth. You can. You can't take it out of
your mouth. Put it back in your mouth. It's some kind of fruit.
It's a strawberry. No, I just dislike strawberries. Why they're so
good? They're not though they're not at all, not to me, not
to me. You have the worst palette. I sure do, I sure
do. Your palette offends me. Don't be offended by my pallet. Do
not be offended by I have the worst breath right now, I'm not kissing
you so bad? Oh? Are you ready for number five? Oh?
Shut up? This one's a cookie. Chill, it's a way for me.
If this is one of elbows there's dog treats, it's not. I
don't know. It's not like it Tannah has. It's bland. Do you
want to try it again? I'm chill, still chewing it. This is
Elvis's dog treat It's not. It is not one of Elvis's dog treats.
Not one of Elvis's dog treats. It's just doesn't really taste like my kind
of cardboardsh It's actually good to know. I was actually wondering what that would
taste like. Okay, what was it? Some melt bone dog bisD you
eat again? I knew it. No, I'm done. Like, Oh
my gods as Alms loves this game. Cute, it's not cute. Play
music so I don't have to hear the huke. Oh my god, oh
that was hilarious. I mean, okay, I a dog bone, but
the gooda cheese and the blue cheese and the strawberry whatever, it's something different,
it's still a strawberry that turns out. I can't stand strawberries. Apparently.
I'm gonna make you eat this coconut donut because and how come I'm the
one that has to eat everything? Because it's funny when you do it.
You know what, I'm gonna do one to you one day, I'm gonna
flip the script. I'll do one with both of you. Oh god,
No, I would be mean, he would be, he would be.
I'd be down the exotic roth food. I'd be eating probably like donkey.
I'd be calling up the oriental markets. I'd be like, what's that?
What's the scratch of fresh catch? You got? Yeah? That would be
I don't I who could do it? Got something? Remember when I made
you eat a cricket? Yes, I certainly do. Why do you think
I hate game? Giant Madagascar hissing cockroaches? Oh my god, I get
that. I get that feast from Temple of Doom. I would absolutely pass
out. I wouldn't play. No, I wouldn't play it chilled monkey brains.
Yeah, but it'd be like, oh, don't worry, almonds and
crackers. Oh my god, Moorrow trust you. Hell no, oh my
god, all right, we have a game to play another god alright,
Oh my god. That was hilarious. Oh here it is. Do you
want to get my headphones? Gain your composure? Why do you have two
set the other ones? Okay? There we go. Okay, Oh my
gosh. So remember those phrases where there's like words and you have to say
these three words really fast and it sounds like something else. We're gonna do
the it's kind of I have a bunch of them. Here's what I want
you to do. You're gonna pick one, not look at it. I'm
gonna tell you to look at it, and it'll say on there, say
this ten times fast, or it'll say spell this and say that. Are
these new ones are used? The same ones where already did? These are
new ones? Okay? So I want to make sure because sometimes you have
played games twice because I know, well that was when I had a concussion
actually before too. Okay, well you gotta remind me of these things.
Okay, now, Eric, I want you to go first, all right,
okay, you pick, okay and go. Say miss, I have
no p ten times fastness. I have no penis. I have no piness.
I have no peness. I have no ps. I have no penness.
I have no penness. I have no piness. I have no piness.
I have no p That's funny to me. You have no penis.
You have no penis. When you say it, it says I have no
one. It really didn't because his cadence. But I guess I have no
I have no pens, I have no pennis. I have no penis.
I have no penis. That's how change you change the cadence, I hear,
have got it? You see this is this is the kind of game
we're playing now. Oh got it? Brian, May the force be with
you. Go my son, But I know this one. Just do it.
Spell ihop say ness, I h O penis. Oh say it again,
I h O penis, h O penis? Lord No, oh no,
do you need to do one? All right, I'll do it.
Yes, you have to do one. Say I want to have six ten
times fast I one to half six. I want to have six. I
want to half six. Say the creative. It's just they change two letters.
You know what I'm saying? Right? Oh boy, oh come on,
all right, here we go. Yeah, you spell the word a
t t. I see a t T. I see oh a titty.
I see there you go. Oh this is they are so boring the crap,
because are so boring? Now do here you go, brun It's crazy
that you think this is like go um, say I want I want a
math debate? Fast, say fast, I want a math debate. I
want a math debate. I want to masterbate. I got it. I
love it. This is funny to me. All right, this is like
scraping the bomb of the bit. You not want to hear my son saying
I want a master this one. I have to hold my tongue and say
I was born on a pirate ship both pilot. I was both pilot spot
pilo shit, both pilot. I want a bowl of a pilot shit.
I want what I'm a pilot fit I was born on a pilo shit.
I think that's what it is. I don't know. Okay, go say
b O problem ten times fast, Bo problem Bo problem bo problem. I
have a bio problem. Yeah, wait, what were you supposed to say?
Bo? Problem ten times problem bo, problem bo, problem bo,
problem bo problem. Just okay, come on you guys, is it my
turn? Okay? Oh I like this one? Uh say so so fu
king awesome ten times fast. Okay, so fucking awesome. Say it ten
times fast, so fucking awesome, so fucking awesome, so fucking awesome,
so fucking awesome. Oh I get it. It's so fucking awesome. Language
on this show tonight. Language bad. Here we go. Now, we
don't how to make I know? This is so dumb. Why I'm I
laughing? But I like it? Thank God, You're welcome. Thank you
creepy right now? Are you so creepy platonic soulmate? Hey go? Oh
this is good. Okay. My Dixie wrecked, my Dixie wrecked by Dixie
rect, my Dixie rect, my Dixie reck my Dixie wrecked. My dick
is erect. Okay, but what does the card say my Dixie wrecked?
Oh okay, yeah, you nasty girl. Say alpha Kenny body ten times
fast, Alpha kennybody, Alpha kennybody, Alpha kennybody, Alpha kennybody, Alpha
kennybody. We know, Laura, we got time. You have a T
shirt that says the same thing this is the ones that oh no here okay,
oh no, Brian, all right, and then we'll meet. Done
with this? Uh, say Gabe itches ten times fast? Gay bitches,
gay bitches, gay bitches, gay bitches. Cute. That's cute, that's
adorable. Okay, go oh yeah, say I spell map say ness?
Okay, where he did this one? I am a penis. I am
a penis. I am a penis. That's gonna be ourts for Thursday.
I'm gonna get this clip a penis. I am a penis. I am
a penis. Okay, here's mine. Say I spank my elf. I
spank myself. I know this is kind of dumb. I spanked myself.
I spanked myself. You made Laura do this one time? Um, and
she farted because she was laughing. I was laughing so hard. I know
that she farted. Say I eat mop who ten times fast? Do it
ten times fast? I eat mom who I eat? I eat mom poo,
I eat my poo. Oh this is the last one. Guys,
what say Raise up lights? Fast, Raise up lights, raise up plates,
raise up plates. You just send razor blades in an Australian accent.
Lights right, say it again? Rise up lights. Its supposed to be
It's supposed to be rise up lights. I think, rise up lights,
Rise up lights, Rise up lights, rise up lights. It sounds like
race blades and oh totally did I thought I was in Crocodile Dundee because the
fool amazed a minute. I know, right, I thought you were actually
Australian, didn't you, though, Stewin? Yes, Okay, now this
one is probably maybe first grade humor. Okay, I get the dumbest one.
It's like pop or something, say I and spell a cup, I
cup rainbow colors. Oh man. Anyway, there's my friend game and one
more thing before we end this fabulous ending. Yeah soon, but I'm going
to tell you you want to wash your mouth out. No, I'm going
to do that all thoroughly at the end of this podcast. Did you know
there are new rules for weddings these days? Oh god? A magazine came
up with a list of new rules that should be imply in in in what
am I trying to say? Enforce whatever? At new at weddings these days?
I know the first I know the first one. Let me say the
first one, which I think it is that people just need to stop getting
married. I would say it, don't be naked, but well, what's
wrong? These are real? Okay, Okay, let me see if I
can guess one. Think about weddings and what like the whole thing around a
wedding and the wedding and new rules rules about yeah, new rules. No
phones out during the ceremony. No, no like pomp and circumstance. It's
just like them getting married. So no big group weddings where one hundred people
are coming. No, we don't wear white. No, no more engagement
parties. Okay, I agree. Actually yeah, no outdoor summer weddings.
Why may people suffer? Right? Those are nice? No destination weddings.
Is that on there? It isn't it says your closest friends not you should
control the guests list. No, what I don't know. It is entirely
fine to deny anyone a plus one for any reason. If you just want
to invite the person, that's fine. Never say black tie optional? Choose
is it black tie? Is it casual? Choose? It's fine to skip
a wedding for any reason. But if you are going RSVP early, yeah,
no kids are allowed at weddings. No kids. You can have the
little kids walk down the aisle, little flower girls and flower boys. But
then they get back in the car and they go back home. Yet one.
And if you travel from out of town here, this is for a
destination wedding. That is the gift you don't need to bring. Again,
I don't think it's actually the far I did go to Yosemite for a wedding.
Ones, did you bring a gift? I get him fifty bucks.
We'll see that. I mean that's because you already paid to get to Yosemit.
They pay for room and board and everything. But well that's nice.
Yeah, well then that is fine. Massive mystery cabin up in the outskirts
of seventy was so weird. Was it scary? No? But imagine like
imagine the edge of your house and then someone built another room off of it.
But they didn't remove the window or the stucco off the wall. Weird,
Like they had a porch and the porch was part of the next room,
so there was a porch inside the next room. It was strange,
not to code. I'm guessing pretty cool though. It's fine if somebody else
in the audience, where's white? Okay, no, no, that's what
they say. It's fine, like, don't worry about it. No one
has to walk you down the aisle. I mean it's nice. I like
it. Give a good kiss, not a sloppy kiss. The altar for
it? Uh? Posed photos are over it, says, I don't know.
Maybe some where'd you get this room? H no? Maybe Reddit implify
the menu, just make your vegetarian options vegan. Just do it. Speeches
must be pre written, none of these rambling drunk speeches. But those are
kind of funny sometimes. And dancing is mandatory for everybody. Oh god,
no, no, I dip out the minute the dancing starts. Why I
feel it would be a good dancer. I don't see him dancing. I
feel like he could do Oh yeah, I don't know with a drink or
two. But I'm a good. Oh he's a good I'm sure he has
rhythm, but I just don't see him enjoy my wedding. You have to
dance? Oh my god, you're wedding. Yay, Yes, we will
totally. You're a dance though. Your mother and I would be happy to
give you away. I won't wear white. We'll get you a gift.
This would be an awkward wedding, Laura tell Laura in her invitation, just
say no leopard print and no white Google. Oh yeah, you guys will
receive separate invitations which I wore on Monday two. Yeah, well dad met
my mom and dad. Oh, oh my god, that would be so
great. Okay, well, I've come to the end of what I've got.
Your rope, I'm at the end of my rope. I'm at the
end of my rope. She has been for a while. Come to our
party May twenty nine, celebrating producing Bryan. Awesome, thank you. Wait
the party is May twenty nine, six thirty. You gotta be a subscriber
on Instagram. Just remember that for ninety nine and the rs VP will be
up. Is already up, So rs VP at Laura Kane after Dark dot
com. You can all come give Brian a little spanking for his Do we
do that for anniversaries? Do with the speaking machine? Oh it's yeah,
it's technically it's his one year birthday. You hit the mentally spank me with
your roasts. Oh, yes, because we're gonna have a roast about any
physical spec Oh. This gonna be good. Oh I'm gonna write this one
good awesome. Okay, Okay, this is we'll take some thought, you
know, Yes, Eric, between you and me, I feel like Laura's
roast gonna be pretty pretty. Mid tier teams are gonna be like, um,
remember the time you didn't text me back for like an hour, And
I'll be the roast. Oh, you've got me all wrong. You have
got me wrong. In fact, you may leave here for horribly offended.
I quit. Yes, you might quit on your one year anniversary. Yeah,
what did you feel bad if I quit? Oh my god, I
can't go. I can't go that far. I won't. I won't quit.
You asked for it, you I did, So you're gonna get it.
How far is there even to go? Though, Bran figure, Our
faces will be like Laura's when I tell her a joke while she's roasting you.
Will just be like to him, will be like giving him. He's
a real piece of shit. Get out. He's such a loser. Look
at him. I'm like, I quit. Oh, this could be really
bad. This might be our worst idea. No, oh, I just
hope it's better. Mack. That's not a roast, that's just an insult.
Well, we're gonna do the best weekend. It's gonna be fun.
All right, so there's that. Mine's gonna be glowing. No, you
better, you better roast your boy. I know you guys are like best
ease or whatever you are. You're too good at your job. I was
like, Brian, you are too good at your job. I like you
too much. Yea I will. I'm going to say that you are like
you were, like sticky sugar on a hot summer day. You better like
that. I'll be mad. Okay, that's all I have to say.
What about because I'm done? Why we're done? Guys, we are done.
You're done. We're done with this episode. Oh here goes. Now
we really got it. Oh man, love your podcast. I love you.
No you don't. I do? You fed me dog bones? Gonna
play? Hangman? I do. It wasn't four letter or three words.
It wasn't a dog bone. It was just a dog biscuit. It was
a dog. It was a milk dog. It was nice and soft.
I thought about it a lot. There was harder ones, but I wanted
to get you a soft one so you didn't lose another two than it.
Thank you. You don't even gag like you barely. I didn't. And
that one you kind of savored like I almost gagged at the uh whatever?
Noah, Oh I love blue cheese, but oh my god, the smell
of it after I'd been sitting there for like an hour, I will say
dog food. I think, I think like certain doctor actually smells pretty good.
Oh gosh, I could have fed you cat food. Oh I would
have punched. That would have been amazing, even though I don't want to
see that. Don't do that. Don't you dare do that? Ever,
don't even think about it, evil evil man? Actually log out, log
out, say goodbye. I don't want to say time. I love everybody.
It's time. It's time. Please put us out of our misery.
I okay, go ahead, I obviously have more to say. I love
you. I love She has no patience today, she's just folding things over
there and eating, getting ready to, like a good punch me in the
face. Are you gonna punch me in the face? Okay, well,
I'm gonna log out a second. The camera goes back. I'm a slap
crying. I'm gonna lock out just for you, since it's almost your birthday.
Thank you on the twenty fourth. Yes, Jesus Christ, my god,
I'm gonna get you. I know her AARP card is coming in.
They come, oh, well, can you start getting that? Man?
You start getting burial plot information? Yeah, just wait, I get that
too, AARP at any age. Actually really, they can't discriminate from basically,
but they don't start sending you stuff to hit the magic. Yeah you're
old before that though. Yeah, just lock out already. You go bowling
though, you get a discount. Oh yeah, we should go bowling.
You can guess your discount. We can start eating it O your age.
I don't like to bowl, and we'll get like probably like free little months.
Don't you have to be in your sixties for that? Yeah, but
what do you mean you don't like you love playing with balls? I do?
Yeah, I do that alright, Just lock out. Please love your
podcast. Thank you, I love you, My sweet babies. B mm hmmm