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Welcome to the two seventeen Recovery Podcast. If you don't make mistakes, you

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won't learn. With your host Corey
Winfield, you know there was a reason

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why that didn't work out, and
you can look back at it and go,

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yep, I'm glad that didn't work
out how I wanted it, because

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I would have been horrible and co
host Marley Winningfield fairly expensive membership to Cold

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Gym when I was in college,
but I used that all the time.

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It is the seventh of July twenty
twenty four. Nine was Cory Windfield,

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and this is the two seventeen Recovery
Podcast. Marty could be honest she wanted

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to, but I heard baby crying
upstairs, and I just need to turn

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the mic on and get some stuff
off my chest. I'm editing and going

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through the video from Recovery Story as
much as your whole part three, and

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I'm almost finished with Matt Rebecky's and
i just can't get the color greening I

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want it, and it's just I
don't know. I better just publish it.

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By the time you listen to this, it will be published, so

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go check it out. I think
it'll be online at two seventeen recovery dot

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Com slash Matt. I'm going to
put it run on this page. Matt

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also reads a blog for us.
Matt did such a wonderful job at telling

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his story, and it's not his
whole story. The recovery stories part of

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Recovery Story's message of hope recovery story
part is the training I took with Megan

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Perry. And she's brilliant and she
can break down like just a key pivotal

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moment of your life. And actually
she doesn't break it down. She has

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you break it down and you kind
of cut out all the crap that you

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don't really need and you just tell
the story within a three to five minute

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timeframe. And that's what starts Recovery
Stories. I published Roberta's last week.

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I think it was because there were
four recovery storytellers, and then there were

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two Message of Hope speakers, which
go longer, which is more of a

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traditional talk at a AA meeting.
You know, like, hey, they're

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doing their their talk similar to that, but not a lot of the Oh.

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I was the baddest drug dealer on
the block. Man. I was

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so cool. I could drink eight
gallons of alcohol and two days, you

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know, like it's without all that. That's the master of hope. So

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I'm doing that. I'm getting mats
stuff put together, and I'm starting to

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kind of mix it down to kind
of critique it myself. And I just

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happened to look at my phone.
I put my phone down a lot when

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I'm doing work, and I'm hearing
baby cry upstairs. Little Parkers and I

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have a good time. It's that
six week mark where the kids, I

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guess just cry. They sleep and
then they cry. That's their two favorite

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things to do. So he's at
that point. So Marny's just like loosing

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her mind up there, probably,
But so I grab my phone to say,

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hey, you know, is there
something going on? And I noticed

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that I missed a call from a
guy, like two calls and I don't

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even want to look at my text
messages. And this guy is in a

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bad way man, and he actually
reached out. I mean, I don't

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know, I've known him. I
was in Solver living with a guy,

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and I have given all the advice
I can to him, to his family,

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to everybody, really, and what
can you do? I don't want

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to think I'm giving up on him. But at the same time, I

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really don't know. And this is
the point that I'm going to make here

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is being a recovery coach can be
tough, and being in this industry of

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helping people can be tough. And
he called Friday too, and it's like,

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hey, you know, I'm in
a bad way. This person has

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been told, you know, like
here's what you got to do. And

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this is probably what people thought about
me. We told Cordy you got to

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do this, this, this,
this. But the decisions that are being

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made that he's making are I mean, I made bad decisions, okay,

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don't get me wrong, but these
ones, like you tell them, hey,

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this is what you might want to
think about this, this is what

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helped me whatever, And that is
that a good thing to just leave the

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city to go to another city without
a plan? Probably not? And what's

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best for you? Well I don't
want to do that, Okay, Well

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want and need or two different things, like you're going to end up in

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this kind of situation, and he
does every time, and so I kind

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of throw my hands up, like
dude, what can I do? And

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it as I was sitting here thinking
about it, like man, like I'm

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editing this video on a Sunday night. Marnie wants me to be up there

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doing family stuff, which I need
to do more family stuff. I'm a

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father now I need to do father
stuff. And it brings me back to

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a time when I was in Silver
Living. I think this dude had already

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left. He made his decision to
go live in a house or something.

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I don't know, but he left, but my good friend Rob had relapsed

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in there. And what concerned me
about that It is Rob telling me if

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I relapse again, I'm gonna relapse
and there'll be hardcore and there'll be enough

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to where I overdose. So I
was freaked out. And when Rob came

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back to the house, everybody thought
he was drunk, and I had never

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seen anybody so messed up. But
he wasn't drunk, and they gave him

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a breath of lights and everything that
he kind of admitted, Hey, I

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did this, And so I was
freaking out because then Rob comes to me

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and he's like, hey, man, you need to take me to the

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bus stop tomorrow. I was like, no way, I'm not taking you

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to your death. That's what I
thought at the time, and I called

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the owner of the sober living house. Jason to Beck, and I was

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like, Jason, Well, he
didn't answer. Otherwise it would have been

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like, Jason, come over here
and help me deal with this. Like

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Rob's asking me to take him to
the you know, and this is what

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he told me about using, and
if he used again, he was gonna

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use enough to kill himself. So
what do I do? Jason didn't answer

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the phone, and so I texted
me to answer a text. Next morning,

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I have to get up and go
to work, and I had to

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leave the house in Points City,
like eight fifteen, eight twenty something like

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that, and there's Rob right there
with his backspacked. All right, man,

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you got to take me bro.
And so I'm frantically trying to text

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Jason and call Jason, and Jason
he might have answered at that point and

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was like, yeah, I'm not
gonna be there by then. Sorry,

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man, got stuff going on.
And I remember being so mad at him.

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I was like, why wouldn't he
call him? Why wouldn't he deal

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with this? And now I'm in
this situation where sometimes you have to step

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away, you have to take care
of you. I don't know what Jason

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was going through. Maybe he's dealing
with some family emergency. Maybe he was

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just having a little alone time,
who knows, But you deserve that.

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And I've seen a lot of recovery
coaches. A lot of them get burnt

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out and just kind of leave.
And I don't know if they go back

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to their addiction. I don't know
if that takes a hold or not,

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but I know a lot of them
do leave the industry because there's this line,

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and it's a very fine line.
And we both both I'm talking about

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you and me. Hopefully you know
this, but it's a fine line between

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life and death. And when do
you pull that trigger? You know,

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I don't want to say that horrible
with analogies. I'm a horrible the words

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sometimes, But when do you step
away? When do you take that time

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for you to go back to your
life, to what you have, what

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you've built. Yes, I love
helping people absolutely, one hundred percent.

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It feels good. And I'll never
know how many people I've truly helped with

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whatever I've said to them. I
mean, just like the people that have

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helped me. It wasn't the fifth
time, the sixth time, the tenth

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time, you know, who knows. I remember something on the third time

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I went to treatment that really I
stick to today. So it's the fact

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that it didn't sink in then doesn't
mean that the stuff that I say,

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or that whatever somebody might put together
to help them. But again, at

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the same time, where's that line
at? You know, when you've told

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somebody repeatedly twenty times, this might
not be the best thing for you,

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this isn't good for you. You're
gonna have to grow up. You know.

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Mommy's not going to be there forever. And sometimes even family members get

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worn out and you can only say
f you to them so many times.

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You know, if I would have
said you, well, I don't know.

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There are so many different things to
my mother, you know, called

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the police owner. I don't know. It's just a line in there,

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and I don't know if I have
it right or not. Like Hory,

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why are you doing this podcast?
Whyn't you call homeboy back? There's nothing

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I can do for him, not
right now. There's nothing I can do

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for him, not anything. He's
not staying in my house and he's maybe

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intoxicated, who knows, I mean, maybe not, but I know is

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there's nothing I can do for him
right now. Unfortunately, the shelters in

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Traverse City, Michigan. The one
shelter shelter shut down for the summer,

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and the other one you kind of
get a wait to get into sometimes,

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so it's just kind of one of
those deals. But I don't know,

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man, It's just I'm in a
weird spot, and I figured when I

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do a podcast about it, I
know I'm not the only one in these

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spots. And then the whole Jason
de Beck thing came up, and I'm

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like, okay, you know,
I said I was mad at him that

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he didn't answer the phone. I
was frustrated at the time. But now

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I'm kind of going through something similar
where I'm trying to finish some work up

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and I just start start thinking about
it all and realizing too, Like I

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could count, I'd have to use
my toes and my fingers to count how

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many people I know that have backed
away from being a recover coach. And

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this is why recovery coaches are in
high demand, you know, like it's

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it's very easy to get burnt out. And I still think recovery coaches should

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make more money. I mean,
it's it's a job that doesn't matter if

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it's nine thirty two on a Sunday
night. If you're getting a call,

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you're getting a text. It's four
o'clock in the morning. People are calling,

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people are texting because it's when it's
someone else's emergency, it's someone else's

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emergency. Just like I had when
I was trying to get a hold of

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Jason Beck about my friend Rob.
It was my emergency, which was not

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Jason's emergency, which this guy who's
trying to get a hold of me,

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it's his emergency, it's not my
emergency. And I think that's something I've

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been pretty good at, and I
think I learned that the last time I

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was in treatment. I think Steven
but Well, calling him all by name,

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i'd like him, but he gave
lots of great advice, and I

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think that was one that he gave
too, was don't make everybody else's emergencies

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your stuff. And I've used that
with family members, I've used that with

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friends, co workers. They'll come
at you with and you're just like,

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we're pumped the brakes man, like
this is calm it down. You know,

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I know that you're freaking out right
now, but let's just this is

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calmed down. Because I don't need
to get in that freaked out stage.

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And some will tell you that I
never get in that freaked out stage,

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but sometimes I really do. But
I don't like it when other people get

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me there, you know what I'm
saying. So anyway, I just wanted

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to kind of get on and do
a podcast. It's been a minute.

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This is the first podcast we've done
in July. I kind of planned on

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doing one tomorrow from the office the
North studio, but something just told me,

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you know what, you're kind of
feeling this way. This is like

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a journal for me anyway. It's
an audio journals the way I look at

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it, And why not just crack
the mic house, like I said,

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finishing up Matt Rebeccy's recovery story,
which is brilliant. It's really good and

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I spent very little time with him
and he did such an amazing job.

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I'm very proud of Matt Rebecky and
I think there's going to be really good

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things in the future coming from him. So check out his video. I

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do appreciate you listening, and even
if you're like Corey, you're just rambling

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on and whining in them. That's
what I do. Hi. Nice to

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meet you. I'm Corey Winfield.
Glad we met, but until next time,

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which it could be again tomorrow,
But thanks for listening and I'll talk

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to you. Thanks for listening to
the two seventeen Recovery podcast. Listen to

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00:12:41.279 --> 00:12:46.679
over nine hundred episodes on the two
seventeen Recovery app that's free in your app

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store or online at two seventeen recovery
dot com