Welcome to the two seventeen Recovery Podcast. If you don't make mistakes, you
won't learn. With your host Corey Winfield, you know there was a reason
why that didn't work out, and you can look back at it and go,
yep, I'm glad that didn't work out how I wanted it, because
I would have been horrible and co host Marley Winningfield fairly expensive membership to Cold
Gym when I was in college, but I used that all the time.
It is the seventh of July twenty twenty four. Nine was Cory Windfield,
and this is the two seventeen Recovery Podcast. Marty could be honest she wanted
to, but I heard baby crying upstairs, and I just need to turn
the mic on and get some stuff off my chest. I'm editing and going
through the video from Recovery Story as much as your whole part three, and
I'm almost finished with Matt Rebecky's and i just can't get the color greening I
want it, and it's just I don't know. I better just publish it.
By the time you listen to this, it will be published, so
go check it out. I think it'll be online at two seventeen recovery dot
Com slash Matt. I'm going to put it run on this page. Matt
also reads a blog for us. Matt did such a wonderful job at telling
his story, and it's not his whole story. The recovery stories part of
Recovery Story's message of hope recovery story part is the training I took with Megan
Perry. And she's brilliant and she can break down like just a key pivotal
moment of your life. And actually she doesn't break it down. She has
you break it down and you kind of cut out all the crap that you
don't really need and you just tell the story within a three to five minute
timeframe. And that's what starts Recovery Stories. I published Roberta's last week.
I think it was because there were four recovery storytellers, and then there were
two Message of Hope speakers, which go longer, which is more of a
traditional talk at a AA meeting. You know, like, hey, they're
doing their their talk similar to that, but not a lot of the Oh.
I was the baddest drug dealer on the block. Man. I was
so cool. I could drink eight gallons of alcohol and two days, you
know, like it's without all that. That's the master of hope. So
I'm doing that. I'm getting mats stuff put together, and I'm starting to
kind of mix it down to kind of critique it myself. And I just
happened to look at my phone. I put my phone down a lot when
I'm doing work, and I'm hearing baby cry upstairs. Little Parkers and I
have a good time. It's that six week mark where the kids, I
guess just cry. They sleep and then they cry. That's their two favorite
things to do. So he's at that point. So Marny's just like loosing
her mind up there, probably, But so I grab my phone to say,
hey, you know, is there something going on? And I noticed
that I missed a call from a guy, like two calls and I don't
even want to look at my text messages. And this guy is in a
bad way man, and he actually reached out. I mean, I don't
know, I've known him. I was in Solver living with a guy,
and I have given all the advice I can to him, to his family,
to everybody, really, and what can you do? I don't want
to think I'm giving up on him. But at the same time, I
really don't know. And this is the point that I'm going to make here
is being a recovery coach can be tough, and being in this industry of
helping people can be tough. And he called Friday too, and it's like,
hey, you know, I'm in a bad way. This person has
been told, you know, like here's what you got to do. And
this is probably what people thought about me. We told Cordy you got to
do this, this, this, this. But the decisions that are being
made that he's making are I mean, I made bad decisions, okay,
don't get me wrong, but these ones, like you tell them, hey,
this is what you might want to think about this, this is what
helped me whatever, And that is that a good thing to just leave the
city to go to another city without a plan? Probably not? And what's
best for you? Well I don't want to do that, Okay, Well
want and need or two different things, like you're going to end up in
this kind of situation, and he does every time, and so I kind
of throw my hands up, like dude, what can I do? And
it as I was sitting here thinking about it, like man, like I'm
editing this video on a Sunday night. Marnie wants me to be up there
doing family stuff, which I need to do more family stuff. I'm a
father now I need to do father stuff. And it brings me back to
a time when I was in Silver Living. I think this dude had already
left. He made his decision to go live in a house or something.
I don't know, but he left, but my good friend Rob had relapsed
in there. And what concerned me about that It is Rob telling me if
I relapse again, I'm gonna relapse and there'll be hardcore and there'll be enough
to where I overdose. So I was freaked out. And when Rob came
back to the house, everybody thought he was drunk, and I had never
seen anybody so messed up. But he wasn't drunk, and they gave him
a breath of lights and everything that he kind of admitted, Hey, I
did this, And so I was freaking out because then Rob comes to me
and he's like, hey, man, you need to take me to the
bus stop tomorrow. I was like, no way, I'm not taking you
to your death. That's what I thought at the time, and I called
the owner of the sober living house. Jason to Beck, and I was
like, Jason, Well, he didn't answer. Otherwise it would have been
like, Jason, come over here and help me deal with this. Like
Rob's asking me to take him to the you know, and this is what
he told me about using, and if he used again, he was gonna
use enough to kill himself. So what do I do? Jason didn't answer
the phone, and so I texted me to answer a text. Next morning,
I have to get up and go to work, and I had to
leave the house in Points City, like eight fifteen, eight twenty something like
that, and there's Rob right there with his backspacked. All right, man,
you got to take me bro. And so I'm frantically trying to text
Jason and call Jason, and Jason he might have answered at that point and
was like, yeah, I'm not gonna be there by then. Sorry,
man, got stuff going on. And I remember being so mad at him.
I was like, why wouldn't he call him? Why wouldn't he deal
with this? And now I'm in this situation where sometimes you have to step
away, you have to take care of you. I don't know what Jason
was going through. Maybe he's dealing with some family emergency. Maybe he was
just having a little alone time, who knows, But you deserve that.
And I've seen a lot of recovery coaches. A lot of them get burnt
out and just kind of leave. And I don't know if they go back
to their addiction. I don't know if that takes a hold or not,
but I know a lot of them do leave the industry because there's this line,
and it's a very fine line. And we both both I'm talking about
you and me. Hopefully you know this, but it's a fine line between
life and death. And when do you pull that trigger? You know,
I don't want to say that horrible with analogies. I'm a horrible the words
sometimes, But when do you step away? When do you take that time
for you to go back to your life, to what you have, what
you've built. Yes, I love helping people absolutely, one hundred percent.
It feels good. And I'll never know how many people I've truly helped with
whatever I've said to them. I mean, just like the people that have
helped me. It wasn't the fifth time, the sixth time, the tenth
time, you know, who knows. I remember something on the third time
I went to treatment that really I stick to today. So it's the fact
that it didn't sink in then doesn't mean that the stuff that I say,
or that whatever somebody might put together to help them. But again, at
the same time, where's that line at? You know, when you've told
somebody repeatedly twenty times, this might not be the best thing for you,
this isn't good for you. You're gonna have to grow up. You know.
Mommy's not going to be there forever. And sometimes even family members get
worn out and you can only say f you to them so many times.
You know, if I would have said you, well, I don't know.
There are so many different things to my mother, you know, called
the police owner. I don't know. It's just a line in there,
and I don't know if I have it right or not. Like Hory,
why are you doing this podcast? Whyn't you call homeboy back? There's nothing
I can do for him, not right now. There's nothing I can do
for him, not anything. He's not staying in my house and he's maybe
intoxicated, who knows, I mean, maybe not, but I know is
there's nothing I can do for him right now. Unfortunately, the shelters in
Traverse City, Michigan. The one shelter shelter shut down for the summer,
and the other one you kind of get a wait to get into sometimes,
so it's just kind of one of those deals. But I don't know,
man, It's just I'm in a weird spot, and I figured when I
do a podcast about it, I know I'm not the only one in these
spots. And then the whole Jason de Beck thing came up, and I'm
like, okay, you know, I said I was mad at him that
he didn't answer the phone. I was frustrated at the time. But now
I'm kind of going through something similar where I'm trying to finish some work up
and I just start start thinking about it all and realizing too, Like I
could count, I'd have to use my toes and my fingers to count how
many people I know that have backed away from being a recover coach. And
this is why recovery coaches are in high demand, you know, like it's
it's very easy to get burnt out. And I still think recovery coaches should
make more money. I mean, it's it's a job that doesn't matter if
it's nine thirty two on a Sunday night. If you're getting a call,
you're getting a text. It's four o'clock in the morning. People are calling,
people are texting because it's when it's someone else's emergency, it's someone else's
emergency. Just like I had when I was trying to get a hold of
Jason Beck about my friend Rob. It was my emergency, which was not
Jason's emergency, which this guy who's trying to get a hold of me,
it's his emergency, it's not my emergency. And I think that's something I've
been pretty good at, and I think I learned that the last time I
was in treatment. I think Steven but Well, calling him all by name,
i'd like him, but he gave lots of great advice, and I
think that was one that he gave too, was don't make everybody else's emergencies
your stuff. And I've used that with family members, I've used that with
friends, co workers. They'll come at you with and you're just like,
we're pumped the brakes man, like this is calm it down. You know,
I know that you're freaking out right now, but let's just this is
calmed down. Because I don't need to get in that freaked out stage.
And some will tell you that I never get in that freaked out stage,
but sometimes I really do. But I don't like it when other people get
me there, you know what I'm saying. So anyway, I just wanted
to kind of get on and do a podcast. It's been a minute.
This is the first podcast we've done in July. I kind of planned on
doing one tomorrow from the office the North studio, but something just told me,
you know what, you're kind of feeling this way. This is like
a journal for me anyway. It's an audio journals the way I look at
it, And why not just crack the mic house, like I said,
finishing up Matt Rebeccy's recovery story, which is brilliant. It's really good and
I spent very little time with him and he did such an amazing job.
I'm very proud of Matt Rebecky and I think there's going to be really good
things in the future coming from him. So check out his video. I
do appreciate you listening, and even if you're like Corey, you're just rambling
on and whining in them. That's what I do. Hi. Nice to
meet you. I'm Corey Winfield. Glad we met, but until next time,
which it could be again tomorrow, But thanks for listening and I'll talk
to you. Thanks for listening to the two seventeen Recovery podcast. Listen to
over nine hundred episodes on the two seventeen Recovery app that's free in your app
store or online at two seventeen recovery dot com