Why Why am I waking up at three every morning and I am having a
panic attack? Why am I sweating my ass off like a woman from the
old country? Why why is this happening? It just comes out of nowhere,
and you're never prepared for it. You don't know why, or there's
no rhyme or reason, and then you want to get mad at him for
not feeling the same things that you're feeling. I just feel I feel ultra
ragie. Welcome to another Deep Day's edition of the Chicks on the Right podcast.
Today, we're going to talk about the change, the change of life,
the circle. You know, your old when you do a podcast about
menopause, right. I don't think enough people do that though, because and
people would like to tell you, oh, you know, fifties new forty
and forties new thirty and sixties new fifty, and they sail that. And
you know, I mean, I think that you and I, for the
most part, we feel pretty young, right. It's our bodies that go
uh nah no mmmmmm, because you know, like trying to do all the
things, like I always say to you, I have to go take my
old lady weightlifting class, you know, to make sure that my bones are
strong and all that kind of stuff because of the osteopenia and the osteoporosis and
all this stuff. But I mean, like when I'm in there and I
see like the young girls and stuff trying to do what I'm doing, Like
they're all cute. They kind of walk in at their Lululemon stuff and they
got the perky asses and everything, and they're all looking adorable. It's like
I feel like that, Like I like, on the inside, I feel
like the twenty and thirty year old. I feel like that. But then
I look in the mirror and I'm like, oh, not that many,
you know what I mean, because you and then like you listen to a
lot of the music that they listen to, and you watch a lot of
the things that they watch, and you feel like you're kind of up to
date on the things that they do. And I have kids who are thirty
three and twenty nine and thirteen, you know, so I'm hip, right,
I I kind of feel like I'm still Isn't that Is that a word?
Still? And that's the word I mean. I feel like I'm still
up. But then you you know, you reach the age where you're at
the menopause stage and you're like, wow, it's it's life, man.
Life. Just it slows you down a little bit. It makes you all
the things that go along with menopause, all the life changes and the responsibility
changes and just everything that goes with it. But menopause is something that nobody
prepares you for. Listen. Dark spots do not go away on their own.
I don't know if you know that, they just don't. If.
In fact, they usually invite friends and so they're like, hey, look
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going away on its own. It's so the only way that I could get
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slash chick, the change of life, everything that goes with it. They
can throw out a bunch of books on it and everything, but to me,
it's kind of like pregnancy. You're never actually prepared for it until you're
in it and you're living it, and you're like, why why am I
waking up at three every morning and and I am having a panic attack?
Why am I sweating my ass off like a woman from the old country?
Why why is this happening? Like, they can't they just can't prepare you
until you're and you you can read all you want about I mean, everybody
knows. Oh, okay, well, when you hit menopause, you have
hot flashes and you have night sweats, and like, you hear those things
and you read those things and you think that you know what that means.
But then when they feels like, and then when it actually happens, it's
like a whole other thing because for me, it's not even hot flashes,
it's that my body seems unable to remember how to regulate temperature at all ever,
Right, So, yes, I will all of a sudden turn absolutely
purple. It's happened during our show countless times where I will. I'll see
myself on camera and I'll be like, why am I purple? And I'm
absolutely sweating in the back of my neck is totally soaked, and you just
keep it, keep stabbing. Do you get stabbing? I mean, I
don't know if it. Like my body like feels like a thousand when I'm
sweating, feels like a thousand needles are also stabbing me. So my hot
flashes are also stabby, which is a nice added benefit. It's lovely.
It's great, like a little like tiny stabby, like little tiny people are
stabbing me all over as I'm sweating my ass off. It's like and it's
and it's constant. It just doesn't I've had, like I've been going through
menopause since that was what forty eight years old I started. I mean,
I feel like that's kind of early forty eight and then I'm gonna be fifty
two this month and it's just and I had a doctor tell me once,
oh, it's you know some women, it can last year, ten years,
you could be going. And I just wanted to punch her in the
face when she told me that, because it's like, oh, it's no,
yeah, it's just what we go through. It's just like that.
I don't so I'm gonna sweat like this. I'm gonna have stabby sweat for
ten years. Most the craziest part because we've got this love seat that we
have in our family room, and when my husband and I sit together,
there have been times where I'm not even touching him right, I'm just next
to him, and he will feel a hot flash come on, he will
feel it. I'm next to him, just radiating heat heat, and he'll
look over and he'll be like, she's I mean, you're beat it,
you know, like you're they're sweat, and I'm like, I know,
man, it just comes out of nowhere and you're never prepared for it.
You don't know why or there's no rhyme or reason, and then you want
to get mad at him for not feeling the same things that you're feeling.
I just feel I feel old for rage. And then he's like, oh
my god, it's so cold in here. It's cold in the house.
And I'm like, I'm gonna kill you with my bare hands, and get
like, right now, I'm going to kill you because it's not cold,
and it's not cold in here at all. Grab a sweatshirt, Nancy,
it's not cold. I mean, this is where you start having the temperature
wars in your house with your husband. They're cold, and you're like,
are you serious? How can you feel cold in here? Oh my god?
This is it's this is the thing, the battle between the sexes once
menopause, but this is the thing. And then you start and then you
know, you start recognizing that your life at that point is it's very different
than it was like in your twenties and your thirties and even your forties,
because you have taken on your it's a different role you know, to do,
because you're still a lot of us are still working, and then we
have like for you, your child is getting ready to go to college one
more year or before us, and I just cannot even do right like that
alone is so traumatizing. Because we went through that with our older kids.
They already did that, so they're off on their own. I'm getting ready
to have a grandkid, my first grandkid, which is crazy. I can't
even And then I still have a thirteen year old, so I have all
these different roles, right, It's like you still have the kid. That's
like in middle school. We still have the young kid. We still have
we have older kids, we have grandkids. And then I've got you know,
like I we're gonna talk about this, I'm sure later, but I
you know, you have family members who may pass away. I have a
father that just passed away. You know, you have parents who we have
other set another set of parents who are are needing assisted living. You get
to that point we start feeling like your parents are for lack of a better
phrase, it's not that it's not that they're your children, it's just that
you feel like you need to take care of them where they always took care
of you. So you're put in that position where they're you're caretaking you know
you or not even care to. You may not be hands on caretaking,
but you feel like you have to step in and tell them things that they
always puld you, and you you have to be the adult the room when
it comes to is it time to take the keys away? Is it time
to say you're you can't live in this house anymore? You know that stuff
is right, It is so hard. I don't think people talk about that
stuff enough. You know, it's so hard to do that because it's they
were the ones who always gave you advice, and now you're having to give
them advice and they're resistant, while you're right, while you're getting the stabby
story. It all culminates at one horrible, just unfortunate time of life.
It's just unfathomable. You know, You're just like, what is good?
And so yeah, it's just this. It is a really strange, strange
time, you know, like you I know, and right now, like
just even the sending kids to college thing, it's so traumatizing. I can't
even wrap my brain around sending our youngest because then that's it, you know,
at least I still have that too. I'm like, okay, we've
got one left in the house, and I know, like next year I'm
gonna have to there's gonna be a period of time where you're going to be
in the fetal position, rocking back and forth, you know, because he's
going to be going off to college, and that's it, Like you're done,
Like you're done, and then you're gonna have to then you're gonna be
like, okay, and then my role is going to be, you know,
as a mom of a kid that's gone, and then it's gonna then
my role is gonna be empty nester. I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to right because it's been twenty years of not doing
that. It's been twenty years of mama and and so that's it's just hard.
Like this is a really weird time of life that I think that a
lot of us just don't talk enough about, especially our generation, because we're
such a tough generation that we're just like, oh, it's just like part
of life. Just write a past All this is to write a passage,
just to write a passage, Just to write a passage. And then you
just sort of like stuck it up. But there's all these things that you're
right, it's like a perfect storm culminating at one time at the like a
huge emotional time, you know, speaking of menopause, it is impossible for
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my pillow dot com slash sh and then like you know, it's not you
know, you hear we talk about the temperature thing, the hot flash is
whatever, that's like super common, everybody goes through that. But then there's
like these other weird body changes that you don't necessarily expect, like, for
example, and this isn't necessarily a metapozzle thing as much as it is an
aging thing, but nobody prepared me for the fact that when I do a
plank because I'm trying to stay healthy, trying to exercise. If I do
a plank and I look back at my body, what's going on? Why?
Why is everything? What things are where they're not supposed to be.
Why that's your that's your biggest mistake. You're not supposed to look back,
like my knees, why are my knees? Say yeah, and I'm like
they're thinking, like the skin on my knees hangs down, everything hangs You
don't want to do that. Why would you ever do that? You don't
because you prepared me for this. It's gravity, man, It's this is
the thing. Gravity like around age forty five, No matter how much you
work out or how well you eat, like every Gravity's like, oh hey
hello, hi, Hi, I'm gravity. Hello, Hi, Hi,
I'm the problem. It's me. Gravity is like this awful, terrible bit
from high school. It just shows up and she's like, Hi, hi,
I'm here to haunt you. It's terrible. Yeah, it's terrible.
It's awful. You don't want I don't know why you do that. I
don't do that. I just I just didn't know when I'm if I'm doing
it. I don't. Didn't do that. Don't ever look again, mock
you can't do that, don't. I mean, at least when you're working
out like that, you should be rewarded, right, Like you should be
rewarded with like your body should be saying to you you're doing awesome, and
instead you look down and it's like, well, it's like looking at a
mirror on the floor. Yeah, like if you look down or looking looking
at your mirror, like on your cell phone when you pick up your cell
phone and you like, look at look at the you look at the camera,
the reverse camera and your stuff, and you're like, oh, what
was I thinking? I didn't know I had four kinds that I realize that
that was the case. You don't want to do that, you never want
to do that. Well, And I saw a TikTok earlier of a woman
who also listed some symptoms that I have. Not I don't have all of
her symptoms. She lists a couple that I was like, Oh my god,
that do I have that to look forward to? Also like is this
something that's coming? I don't know. I know menopause hits women differently,
you know, it's individuals, very individual experience. There are some commonalities.
But she was listing some things that I was like, wait a minute,
itchy ears, burning knees, what is going on? Let's play that because
I'm sure that there's going to be other people in the audience that will relate.
Oh hey, so menopause is menopause is a good times weird itchy ears
and my knees burn, just personal summers all day long, talk about nighttime.
And there's no deodorant works, not one. You name it, I've
tried it. I just always smell like onions, migraines and panic attacks.
Anyone viewer. This muscle in the back of my head, it's just it's
always tight. It won't it won't let go. Somebody told me to do
the botox back here, listen, if I were to be able to afford
the botox, don't you don't you think I should focus? Maybe I should
focus here. Just always look unpleasant. I am unpleasant. I don't even
like myself right now. I'm just annoyed at all the things. I'm annoyed
by myself. Anyways, man, plus have some grace, Have some graces.
The itchy ears are a real things that I actually have had that,
and I mean I don't have it like constantly, but I do have that
just for no reason whatsoever. And then I've read about it. I've read
that like the lots and lots of women have the itchy ears. So that's
like inside or like you're outside, Yeah, inside just itchy ears, just
itchy, constant itchy ears. So that's the thing, the itchy ears.
And then obviously migraines. I mean, of course, like women get migraines
and headaches and stuff like that. And just general irritability. Yeah, I
seen, But we're in our fifties at this point. We have a lot
to be pissed off about. We're just irritated, generally irritated, and I
imagine that's probably gonna like get it's gonna increase just you know, as the
years progress. We're just because I think we're at that age where we're just
like I don't I have no more f's left, no filter, no filter,
you know, we just don't care. And so yeah, I can
see where we would just not care and just be pissed off all the time
and just general And then like you were talking about your husband being able to
feel the heat, and I was talking about my general irritability towards my husband
for being cold when I'm on fire. I'm literally on fire next to him.
Yeah, so there's that too, when you just feel feel irritable that
everybody around you can't feel what you're feeling because you do have a personal summer.
It's like, why do I feel summer and everybody's in winter. It's
just not fair. Everybody needs to feel what I'm feeling. This is not
okay. Well, it's funny because she said the thing about the muscle in
the back of her head not letting go. I have this thing. It's
every single night when I'm like getting into bed and if I'm reading or if
I'm looking at my phone, and then I like, if I'm looking down
and then I look back up, there's like this crunchy feeling in the back
of my scalp, like like right underneath. I've never had it until probably
the last I don't know, six to nine months. There's just like this
sort of crunchy sound that I can hear deep in my own head and like
it's it's from the back of my scalp. I don't know what it is.
It's so weird. At least you have hair because people lose it,
because I mean that was another thing is hair loss. Hair loss was a
big thang with with menopause all of that. So menopause is crazy. I
just don't think enough people talk about it. And then some of them will
choose to do all that hrch stuff. There's that, and I to each
their own. I think it's great when some because when some of them love
it. I tried it and hated it. I was on it for I
think three years total, and then of course had my mini stroke and then
the doctors were like, you gotta get off of that. You got to
get off potential clotting, and so I did and that's when it, like
I got hurled into menopause. And so I'm just waiting for it to be
over, just like that'll be ten years. That'll be ten years. According
to that one doctor, at least seven to ten years. So good luck
with that. Yeah, But this is the thing you just it's it's like
just to write a passage I guess that we all have to go through.
And this is the kind of stuff that I would imagine that the Leah,
the Leah Thomases and people of the world will not have to deal with exactly
like all of the transgender women that say, you know, we're we're real
women. They don't have to go through all of these rights of passage that
we go through. Yeah, it's a seven womanly experience. And yeah,
it's you can't this is not something you can No, you can't fake this.
It's something that you go through and you've earned. Right. It's like
it is a rite of passage. It's like a badge of honor. And
you know, we may will complain about stuff that we have to go through,
but it's something that we share as a collect as women, as a
collective, and we kind of understand each other, like we get it's like
our little club and we get it. We understand it because we go through
it together. Yeah. One one, I guess that's not advice. It's
not like I'm the expert on menopause by any stretch. But I will say
that one of the things, one of the calling signs calling cards for menopause,
in addition to the hot flashes and that sort of thing, is the
irritability and the high emotion. And so I know because there's you know,
I've told you this many times that there's times where I feel like it's been
too long since I've had a good cry, and I'll feel do like,
I'll feel like a whole bunch of stuff building and building a building. I
need to let it out. And then I have this issue and I and
I'm trying to give myself grace, and so I'm advising everyone else out there
who might be experiencing this to also give themselves grace. And that is it's
very easy to be like, well, I'm emotional because of menopause, and
then to dismiss your actual feelings as not being legitimate because they're driven by hormones.
And so it's very easy to do that, and it's very easy for
people in your family to do that. Oh well, you know, my
husband might like see me breaking down and be like, well, she's hormonal,
she's menopausal. But he's also been really good about saying that's not that's
not to dismiss what you're feeling. It's to just recognize that this is part
of the whole experience, right, It's part of the process. You go
through it, and it does affect your mood, your emotions, the way
that you respond to certain, you know, tough situations. It all plays
a role, but it doesn't discount how you might be feeling. It doesn't.
It doesn't mean that you're just like, well, it's menopause, so
therefore I need to buck it up. No, it's it's valid. It's
legit, Absolutely, it's valid. Yeah. One of the things that I
eat a lot of now, just in menopause, I crave a lot of
is me. I don't know why, but I did that a lot too
when I was pregnant, so I don't know. There may be a relation
there, but I just crave a lot of ballets. I really love steak.
I like the bacon rat ballets from Omaha Steaks, and I like the
pork chops too. I also love their pork and I eat those a lot
for lunch. I'll put those in my air fryer, and I love them
so much. And the only way that I can do this is with Omaha
Steaks because they have the best meat ever and they have like their anniversary package.
Yeah, you can get like a sampling of everything that they make.
I mean, it's awesome. They have like four butcher cut ballets, and
they have the chicken breasts and the bacon rep porch. Oh my god,
the pork tubs are so amazing, and then the jumbo Francs, which my
daughter loves, she loves us. And then plus you get like eight free
Omaha Steak burgers and then more like I think eight more jumbo francs just they
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Com. Again, put code chicks in the search field at Omaha steak dot
Com. Another and another thing I noticed too is this maybe you know kind
of converts make go against what you just said, but I do think,
like I have a we have an older daughter who is pregnant right now,
and some of the things that I go through and menopause are very similar to
what she goes through and pregnancy. It's interest It's interesting how the female just
how word similar that way. Like it's just like she'll call me and she'll
be like, oh my gosh, you know, I'm I'm irritable, or
I'm you know, I'm having a hot flash, or I'm just a lot
of the similar just all the similar things I feel, you know. I
obviously I felt bloated because she gained a bunch of weight and obviously in pregnancy,
or just just the way or I'm going to kill my husband right now,
you know, or just just similar things that she goes through. And
I remember those days of being pregnant with my daughter and how I felt,
or is this or she'll just call me and ask me, is this normal?
Is it normal for me to feel this way? Is it norm for
me to have the symptom? Is this? Nor? Should I call the
doctor? Is this normal? And I sometimes feel that way during menopause?
Is this normal to feel this as a woman? And I'll find myself googling
stuff is this normal and menopause? Or or do I or do I have
cancer? You know, because I have this weird symptom. You know,
women do that all the time. We're constantly like because a lot of the
stuff is just our bodies are just so weird sometimes when it comes to these
sort of these different rights of passages. So I you know, it's it's
interesting how they mimic one another sometimes, like pregnancy and menopause are kind of
similar, and how young and old will talk to one another. And I'm
like, it's so weird because she's pregnant and I'm going through menopause, and
how similar they are, And how doesn't it feel like how pregnant forty five
seconds ago, forty five seconds ago? I mean, it really does.
And I and and I tell her that, and I'm like, it's just
so and I try to tell her, as weird as it is and as
uncomfortable as you can be, just do the best you can to enjoy it,
you know, because it's what a cool time that was, and so,
you know, And at the same time, I'm as much as there
are days where I'm like, menopause sucks, you know, in many ways,
I'm trying so hard to you know, at least this time, at
least I don't have my period exactly. That's exactly that, you know what
I mean, it could be it could be so much worse, you know
what I mean. There's at least I don't have to plan vacations around that
and like in events, and so I mean there's there's that, so I
have to do that, and so there there are days where I'm like and
I'm so much and it's such a better place in my life now than I
was, you know, thirty years ago, and you know, even ten
years ago. So I kind of like this part of my life. I
like the stage, even though they're weird things. And I mean, my
breath, I'm not I don't think my body or my breath smells like onions.
But you know, even though I have weird simp and stuff like that,
I just I actually do like being in my fifties. I think fifties
are kind of great. It's not bad. I mean, it's definitely.
I mean it's like you can kind of see what the rest of your life
should be like is gonna Yeah, And that's neat. Yeah, I mean
that's kind of a neat thing to be able to plan how you're going to
relax later, you know what I mean. Yeah, Yeah, it's like
you exactly, like there is a little bit of a blueprint there, whereas
before you it was just like I have no idea how things are going to
turn out. But now, yeah, you're right, there is a little
bit more of a of a blueprint that's kind of neat, and your family
is a little bit more settled, and things are, you know, crazy
on a day to day basis, because like you know, we said before,
you're taking care of you know, a lot of people in a lot
of different phases of their life, and you're you've taken on so many different
roles and you have so many different responsibilities at this age. But man,
we're way more equipped than we were twenty years ago, right, Yeah,
So I guess, you know, God only gives you what you can handle
this, So we're at that's what that's what we're told and so and I
guess there are a lot of other women that are going through the same thing
that we're going through, and you know, it's like we're not alone.
So we were strong enough to handle And I think that's why we wanted to
talk about this today because I'm sure a lot of our audience is around our
age and so I'm sure that. Well, I hope that people listen to
this and feel like, Okay, well it happens to everybody, right,
and we're all in this together. Yeah we are. Yeah, we are.
And it's like there is I think there is a light at the end
of that tunnel. There's a lot of people that are, you know,
probably going through it, or maybe they are at the end of that tunnel
and they've been through it. Some of the people that listen to us,
and I would love to hear what they have to say, but hopefully they'll
comment, Yeah, I would love that. We would love to see some
comments on the Apple podcasting platform. I actually have some comments to read from
the last month and a half or so. Some of them there are people
that definitely don't like us at all, and then there are some that do.
Okay, So it's always I would love to hear this fantasy So Ellie
with a whole bunch of numbers after her name. One star said, yikes,
actually shocked at how bad this show was. I listened to a lot
of bad podcasts just for fun that gives you an idea what Ellie is like
as a human, but this one was other level beyond just being confident and
wrong at the same time. It was just a full on bore. Okay,
well, I'm glad that she took the time to listen to something so
bored. I mean, that's what she does for fun, she said,
I know. Can you imagine what she does not for fun? Let's see
from j J seriously irritated one star ignorance fueling the fire. Please stop spreading
hate and ignorant. Okay. Another one with the name Biden is winning said
the real right is garbage. These two women do nothing but put other people
down and talk complete trash. It's absolutely horrible. Get this crap off the
air, censor sensor that's right, and then we have a good one.
There's Missawa Chick. Five stars, longtime thankful fan. As a fellow former
Indie resident, I have loved you two for years. I look forward to
your thoughtful take on current events every day. Your ability to find a humor
in all the nonsense always leaves me with a sense of optimism. Today I
heard you on my other favorite podcast with Megan Kelly. You were fantastic.
I love that. It's very sweet. Very Oh. Here's another bad one.
This is yeah. This is from Willi's our one star. No thanks.
This podcast is what happens two people ignore the world around them and think
because something has never happened to me, it does not happen to anyone anywhere.
So no thanks. I don't know what that was referring to, but
that's what they said. Some really good ones today. We Joe five Stars
love your pod. Why in the world are our country's top secrets kept in
broken down cardboard boxes? I'm sure referring to Joe Biden. Yeah, that's
a really great question. There's like a billion classified documents. Fy, why
is everything so damn classified? That's a great point. Why Texan for Truth
five Stars love the show with the Fellas. He's referring to our appearance with
the Ruthless. I hope you have more shows with them. We do too.
That's always so much fun. Yeah. Yeah, and then I don't
remember what show it was where we were talking about the fact that people have
very different outlooks on how far they're willing to drive before they fill up their
gas tanks and whether husbands fill up their wives tanks. Remember that conversation,
Yes, yes, yeah, I think that was on our regular show.
I think so too. Yeah, and so a TJ. SAJ five stars
said on gas two things. I do not allow my wife's car to get
below a half a tank. God bless him, God bless him. Right
says I go get gas for her, usually once a week, and I
check at least twice a week. What a good dude, What a sweet
guy. They say, that's the key to a good marriage, is what
we were saying. This is what somebody wrote that somewhere, and I was
like, huh, is that the key to a good marriage. I mean,
it definitely doesn't hurt. Yeah, your mileage may vary. Pun intended,
so great reviews. Hopefully people will contribute more to the iTunes Apple podcast
platform in terms of reviews and comments, and especially in relation to what we
discussed today about mentas. Would love to hear hear from all the menopausal mamas
out there, or the men that are also impact or the men are uh
huh yeah, because men and they're cold. Man, they're cold, they're
cold, and they're hot and they're you know, just let us know how
you feel where you're at temperature wise with your hot wives. And when I
say hot, I'm talking hot, you know, like not like I'm talking
just hot, That's what I'm talking about, you guys. Until next week's couple