Made a Dessen Jon face sunny sad I head a vision by Hey everybody,
welcome to fco L. It's Thursday. Thank you Robin, thank you for
that. It's our Thursday show. We have a guest we are super excited
to present to you first time on our show post new baby, mister Patrick
Hickey of bad TV and also of this is your house? Great to be
here. I feel like I live here. Yeah, it sure seems that
well you guys, thank yourself at home. Thank you, Kaitlyn. I'm
sorry you might turn up my headphones a little bit. Thanks. Yeah,
thanks for having me back. It feels like back in the garage. Yeah,
coming out of the fog of war of Okay, So your new baby
his name is Quentin, and how old is he now? He will be
weeks He'll be two weeks tomorrow. Oh okay, I am dying to know,
Like, how are you holding up? How Shari holding up? What's
happening? Give us all the details? Okay, I this has been a
journey for three years trying to make a second kid right and just say you
know whatever I'm gonna say here. I have permission from from my wife Shari
to talk about two miscarriages in one embryo that didn't work. She has been
on progesterone basically for two and a half years, which, if the listeners
know, that crazy making, crazy making. I felt bad for her.
She couldn't control her weight and that caused, you know, she just she
was bummed for the last two and a half years. She hasn't had a
drop of alcohol. She likes to drink wine and not she hasn't been able
to do that. And so yeah, it's just been a change of life.
But it's been a journey and just you know, you'd get I think
the the last miscarriage was we got to six weeks and you just get that
news and you're just like, so with this one, I was just every
day just waiting for the phone call that that was going to happen. But
sorry, On a more positive note, Yes, the pregnancy was great.
Quentin was born healthy baby boy, ten fingers, ten toes. Yeah,
he just came out great. And this pregnancy and this birth was way less
insane than the first one. And I don't know if that's because the first
time you go through it, it's all new to you. So it's just
so it just freaked me the hell out freaked my wife out. This time
we kind of had it down so it was just you show up at the
hospital, we sleep there overnight. I wonder if this was the same kind
of Is this how it worked for you guys? You show up about twelve
hours before they're going to start inducing and doing the well, I'm an idiot,
what are they for me? Now? They so she just she did
had a vaginal birth. Yes, I had a C section. Yeah,
I literally showed up at the hospittle a couple of hours before and then they
prepped me first, well, the second one was an emergency, but I
was I left from my high risk doctor across the street, go in epidural
spinal for me and then have the baby. And then John showed had to
show up and meet me there, so it was a little different. But
yeah, I was not there night before. I didn't do that anything.
So I had a C section, but we weren't planning on a C section.
I mean it ended up being planned, but it was like eighteen hours
later. And so what prompted that for both of you? Like obviously just
it's go time, now come to the hospital. We actually scheduled an induction
because I wanted my doctor to deliver my baby and he was going to be
out of town, so we scheduled it. And but I never dilated.
Apparently I had scar tissue on my cervix, and they said, you're never
going to dilate. What even after the induction? I mean it, And
I don't know if anyone's ever had their cervix checked. And it's not dialting,
but it really hurts. And yeah, so I they finally decided we
should do a C section. So it was planned in that way, but
it wasn't planned when we went in but overnight. But Wade was not going
to spend the night. He's like, okay, So this seems like it's
going along. Are you Are you okay? If I just hopped back home
and sleep in bed, I'm like whatever. Oh yeah. I asked my
mom recently. She was out here about three weeks ago. I said,
hey, Mom, where was dad? Shit? Said he was at a
bar across the street from the hospital. Not at all. He didn't even
show up. I think he picked her up at the outside of the hospital
to go home with me. Oh God, So why did you have your
So I had had previous surgery to get to remove vibroids TMI. But my
doctor had told me, you cannot have you you have to have a c
section because you you could perforate you You could perforate if you go into labor,
So you have to have a c section. You have to plant before
you would possibly go into labor, So like two weeks before or at least
a week before first one. So did that, and then after you have
a c section. It's well, I wouldn't have tried to have a natural
birth whatever you call it afterwards anyway. And then but with the twins,
Sadie was small and I was being checked constantly. I was having ultrasounds like
every week, and they were watching for a negative blood flow with her because
I also had scar tissue where she where she was implanted, and the placenta
wasn't working correctly and the cord was too short and it wasn't a good area
for her. Xander was fine, he was getting fat and big, but
she wasn't. So then I was in the hospital on bedrest. Then they
sent me home for Thanksgiving because they were born on November twenty six. They
sent me home for Thanksgiving, and then I had to go in the next
day to get just checked, like a stress test they call it. They
did the stress test and then they basically didn't like what they saw. Called
my doctor and then she was like, nope, send her over to the
hospital and we're taking We're going. Now. How long after that were the
kids born? Like an hour? I mean, how far along were you?
I was thirty three weeks? Okay, it's early. Yeah. Wow.
Then they were in the Nike. Xander was only in the Nike for
like two weeks, so he was fine. He came home at he was
born four pounds, but Sadie was only two pounds and then she stayed small,
so she was in the Nike for a month. Wow. Yeah,
how did that work? Would you? Did you go home? And then
you just constantly be visiting the hospital. So Elbe had just started preschool,
so that was like a and it was now it's around the holidays, so
there's like holiday show, there's like a Thanksgiving show, and it was really
really hard. So I had preschooler, so I would take her to school.
Once I got home after I'd been in the hospital healing, I would
go. I would take Lbie to school. Then I would go to the
hospital and John wasn't taking time off of work because he decided that he was
going to take a little time off when the babies came home because they're in
the hospital. What can he do that? Really said? They were both
in the nick. You you were both in the nick for the first couple
of weeks. And then so I would just go to the hospital take scrub
in. I don't know if either of you guys have done dealt with the
nick. You. Oh no, With my father, they made me put
on a hazmat suit when he was passing. It was this whole process.
Oh yeah, I mean you have to like, yes, you scrub in.
You basically can't touch anything, and then they put like a thing on
a gown on you. That yeah, And then I could look at Sadie
in her little isolate but I could hold Xander and like, you know,
hold him. But sometimes they'd be asleep and the nurses would be like,
don't wake up up, like they need to be sleeping. So I'd come
in. I'd spend like a couple of hours. I mean, what are
you gonna do? I'd get super bored. I'd like stare at them and
then they're like, all right, peace out and then I'd call at night
and be like, how are they doing? It was really it was tough
because then I had a preschooler. I'd pick her up at preschool, bring
her home, you know, and then there's that whole thing with bringing home
new babies too, right to an existing We brought Elbi to meet the babies
in the nick once and like, yeah, she did pretty good. And
then when we got Sadie home, I had a nanny started and helped us,
and then I had a little more and then no, maybe we had
Sadie alone, I mean Xander alone, and then the days say, however,
it worked, we had some help. It made it a little better.
So how is your home coming? Yeah? Tell us everything. So
do you planned it? So it was. The date was planned. Not
only that, but Elliott was starting school the day before, so we also
have help. So the she gets she goes to school from nine to three,
gets picked up at three from our nanny, Lupida, and Lupida stays
till seven. Okay, So we had all that planned out and so that
worked until we shared off Mike off Mike before we started. The school that
Elliott goes to has had plumbing issues, so basically, since we've gotten home,
it's it's a coin toss whether or not the school's going to be open
on any given day, which shere was going to be home anyway. But
all right, so I gotta give this to my wife. One before the
baby was born, she was I assume every woman is going through a men's
pain. My wife was crying out like I've never seen her, and she
asked the nurse, who was great, can I have something? And the
nurse explained, if we give you something, you're going to get comfortable and
you won't dialate fully dialate. So it's a scale from one to ten.
She was stuck at nine for about eight hours. She goes, if I
give you this, you could be stuck at nine for another twelve or you
could just push through. And my wife pushed through because she just wanted it
done. So we get home. So we brought him home two weeks.
So, no, she didn't epidural, but she had to wait. She
had the epidural, but she wanted more because yeah, she was not not
feeling. Was it not working? Yeah, that's what she was saying.
That's what she was saying. And I've never seen my wife's tough, and
they wouldn't give her more. They said it, yeah, it would,
you would prevent you from dilating. Wow. Yeah, So she you know,
she pushed through literally and uh and the baby was born, and the
crazy thing born on Tuesday. On Friday, I think she went back to
work with the baby in the back of the car. She works. Very
famous baseball player whose wife is a wonderful person. But she had a charity
thing for Saturday. So my wife had to show up to a public unit
like storage unit to get a bunch of stuff like baseballs and stuff to pick
up two ships to where the Sherry event. I went with her to help
her carry everything out, and then she had to go you know, yeah,
but my wife, Oh my gosh. And then Saturday we threw a
party. We had a pool party here with friends over and because last time
when the baby was born, when Elliott was born, we were leaving the
hospital as has Matt suits were coming in. It was the middle of March,
the city. We woke up from the fog of having a new We
got her home. I started seeing on the news that they might shut down
an NBA game that night and not have it live. And I was like,
what's going on here? You know, just because that week leading up
to pregnancy, you're just you're in your own world, your own bubble,
and they just shut everything down. So then it was just Shri and I
and the baby, and we used to just come in this room where the
studio is now. It had just been converted because they did a movie here.
My buddy filming a movie here. This was just a garage and I
said, you can film your entire movie at my house, but you got
to make the garage into like a studio. And then guess what that movie
this kind of the cob. That movie was the second to last movie,
you know, the woman that Alec Baldwin killed by accident or whatever. I
spent two weeks with her. Oh my god, in this room. Like
there's probably like three scenes from the movie called Blindfire. It's about a police
shooting, a bad police shooting, and it's got some twists and turns to
it's it's a decent movie. And she was here filming and I just remember
being a really nice person. How did I get on this little tangent?
Sorry, oh the studio that we're in. Yeah, So anyway, my
wife and I we were just in here. And that was when Tiger King
debuted. So I remember us kind of binging that with Elliott sitting on our
lap. But with so it just took forever my point, to get back
to some level of normacy with people and friends. Obviously, during COVID,
you know, we understood all the guidelines and such, but it was this
time we said, let's do the exact opposite. Let's I mean, we
took the kids to the Aquium of the Pacific yesterday, or we didn't because
we couldn't get in. I'm gonna yell at you later, I'm gonna yell
at the power and to have to drive down there. We have, we
have Quentin, we have Elliott a whole way down she can't wait to see
the fishies. I get down there at one o'clock. We walk up to
the thing and they said the next reservation is four thirty. You have to
have a reservation. Yeah. I wanted to pay her off. I go,
hey, I'll no so But anyway, so we didn't get in.
We rented one of those whale watching boat things, but Quin got to go
on a boat less than two weeks old. So the point is trying to
get back to real life and just kind of you know, we did a
renovation here, we did just getting our careers on track, having the two
kids, and now it finally feels like we got to where we need to
be. Let's start living life and not be stressed out about things. Can
I talk a little smack about some family which people might relate to? Please?
Please? Okay? What's want to take a break? Oh, let's
take a quick break first, bring it? Okay. So I love my
wife. I moved out to Los Angeles over twenty years ago. I don't
have any relatives out here. My family is my friends, and I have
my family back home. I love my mom, my stepdad, and I
have two brothers, which I have. You know, I like them,
I think they like me. But I don't have family out here. So
when I met my wife, immediately I was kind of, uh, what
do you call it? Inductor? How do you integrated into their family?
Her mom was great, Tanya. Her mom had remarried to a guy named
John, real nice guy, and then her dad is Ruby, real fun
guy. They welcome me in, no like weirdness because I had been dating
girls in the past and like I'd meet the parents and like, Dad's kind
of a dick to me because he's trying to fill me out. Whatever.
They didn't have any of that. Maybe they sense that I had really good
intentions. Maybe they just want to get rid of their daughter. You know.
It was just like, yeah, take her, oh yeah in great
fine. Yeah. Well I was excited because I had two older brothers when
I was a kid. I have a brother Mark, who's eleven years older
than me, and my brother Dwayne is almost thirteen. Wow. So as
a kid, and they're half brothers too, so as a kid, they
were already doing their own thing. And my dad took off when I was
like two, So it was me with my grandmother. These are your mom
got remarried? Yeah? Four times? Oh I love my mom. It
was this crazy seventies and eighties. Yeah, my father was married three four
times. It would be like my mom was wife number three and she was
really young and she was third white. Can you imagine being she was twenty,
She was nineteen when she married him. She met him at seventeen,
married him at nineteen, and she was already wife number three. That is
a fucking red fly? Are you kidding me? It's I want to talk
to everybody from the seventies and eighties, What the fuck were you think you
could have just dated, just live with each other. I guess they'd probably
argue there was a stigma still back then about that, but I know,
but not a stigma about being married four times. It's a good point.
So the brothers were from your Oh we want to go deep. So my
brother Dwayne, who's the oldest, he never knew who his dad was.
Okay, so I made the mistake of for his sixtieth birthday last year,
I got him a twenty three in me and he found out who his mom
was. And he also found out he has a sister that lives in the
same town that he's probably passed by fifty times in our small town his entire
life, never knowing the two of them in their six months apart, and
they finally reconnected and now there, See, isn't that great? Twenty three
in me I can also ruined lie and it's had a good thing. This
mom's pretty pissed about it. He came from your mom. What's that he's
from your mom? Same mom, So that your mom didn't know who his
dad was, or we think she knew. I think I try not to
ask too many questions. Stuff sept my mom at a kind of late stage
in her life. But if you asked her, she say she wanted to
protect him because he was a drug addict. Okay, crazy enough. Though
he outlived Mark and my dad's life. He died in twenty sixteen, so
we he did some digging. He was a musician, a drummer in a
band where my mom was a cocktail waitress in the late sixties or mid sixties.
Okay. Yeah. So so then she had another son, Mark a
couple of years later, two years later, and then with a different another
guy, other guy okay, and then later another like eleven years later.
By the way, you want to talk about little kids and mean shit that
we'd say to each other my next to her neighbors Michelle and Donna, whenever
we'd get in a fight when we were six. I remember I remember them
going, your mother's a whore. Oh my god, kids are assholes.
Well they got from their parents, right, Oh god. The seventies and
eighties, so yeah, Mark, and then uh and then me I came.
I came in nineteen seventy four with Peter Hicky, my dad who then
proceeded to move to Arizona and move. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy.
You learn, You learn from those things, like I never want to be
a parent like that. I can't understand why. I guess sometimes God,
I have tried to understand this, like that was a different time. And
my mom had told me, you know, when we've talked about this that
it's like it was a different time. Our parents weren't there for us,
so we didn't understand, you know. And I was like, Okay,
you have a tough go to write stuff with your mom. Yeah. Yeah,
so you and your mom not clothes. Oh no, we are okay.
So mom was kind of checked out my entire wo I sound like a
whiney. She's I'll tell you what she was. She was young, and
then she had kids, and I think she wanted to live her thirties.
And then my grandmother was there, so I basically would go to school,
hang out with Grammy, and my mom and I actually connected in my early
twenties, and you know, that's been now, you know, thirty some
odd years, and they've we've had a great relationship since then. And she's
copped to some of it. She's copped to, you know, not being
there enough and not enough hugs and all that other stuff. But yeah,
I just and I don't. My brother Dwayne can't stand her, so they
and he's had a lot of therapy too, which then brings about when he
starts learning these things, you've not understood how to process them, how you
should feel about things. Now he's gone full on on my mother at her
late age, and I told him, I said, you know, she's
mom's eighty. Dwayne like, I just don't think that you should be beating
her up right now. I think kind of let it go. Yeah,
what good is it gonna do? I just yeah, maybe for him,
but maybe he'd feel bad later on. I think it just I mean,
you don't have to be best friends, but maybe you know, say happy
Mother's Day or I don't. I don't know, but that's not going to
happen, you know us. So that's that's my big My big thing is
I want to right the wrong and be a really good dad. But now
with Shari's parents, yeah, you were like, this is great. I'm
in. I'm integrated into the family right and so I love my father in
law, I love my father and step law. I guess I love my
mother in law, and when she and I were just dating, we were
kind of hanging out, you know. And by the way, uh,
despite the fact that my wife's parents are divorced, they're on good terms.
So we'd have Thanksgiving with each other and Christmas and all those other things.
So when the when the when Elliott came along, I was I assumed that
that would continue and that we'd have a family structure, you know, because
otherwise it's just shre and I really so this some odd things happen again.
I asked my wife talk about this. I'm not talking. I how to
turn in here. She won't have a problem with me sharing this. She
has had therapy, and I don't know if having kids brought about this.
She didn't tell me. She let it slip, like saying something under her
breath. About six months ago, we were watching something we're watching like a
Better Help ad by the way, get Better Help, It's great, and
she said something on her breath about therapy, and I said, you're going
to therapy and she said yeah, And I was like, whoa, you
didn't tell me you're going. I'm your husband, you didn't tell me,
And I just felt left out. And then she had explained she was going
to therapy for issues with her father, who they had had little fights back
and forth over the years where they wouldn't talk for two months, and it
would be something stupid, like they went out to a restaurant and he was
irritating the waiter asking them for too much water or just some little things,
and I'd be like, this is such a weird thing that you guys are
fighting about. So Dad Ruby used to come here and help out with Elliott,
especially when we want to do something on the weekend and whatnot. But
at some point, Shari is going to therapy and she confronts him about some
things that he did during her childhood. And by the way, I think
naturally the audience might go to some kind of not what that it's basically being
cheating on the mom and things like that. It kind of destroyed their family.
So she starts confronting him about that, and he does not like it,
and he's not ready to receive that, and I think he doesn't understand
where the hell it's coming from, because now, you know, my wife's
thirty five and he's almost sixty. They've never talked about it, and now
he's taking this in and I try to explain to shar that I don't think
he saw this coming and this is confusing for him, and he's of a
different generation where I think it's going to take him a little bit more time
to understand why you need answers to these questions, right, so he won't
receive it. So we haven't seen him in eight because they had a falling
out, so he's out of the picture. So I've tried to maintain a
relationship with him through texting and photos and we miss you and Father's Day and
things like that, because I'm sure we okay with that. She will she
doesn't want me to go too far with it because she doesn't want him around.
And so I'm in this difficult position where I don't have a problem with
the guy. He didn't raise me. It's been a party with him.
He's like, you know, that's such a touchy subject though, you know,
because I kind of did the same thing with my husband's mom because I
thought she's your mom. It's your mom, and then I don't know,
I regret it. It's one of my few regrets in our marriage that I
pushed that you push for them to reconnect, for them to stay connected,
and I don't think it's a relationship that needed nurturing. So I don't there's
a balance, and I'm not saying that's the case with her father, but
it's just it's a really delicate boundary, which I'm sure you know. I'm
sure you and sure we have talked about. Yeah, I'm trying to respect
her her boundaries with that, especially when she was pregnant, because you know,
just the danger of her possibly getting so upset that's something. So I
didn't even really bring it up during especially the later part of the pregnancy.
It was just like, I am not even going to bring this up,
you know, but I do miss him, and Elliott constantly mentions him because
he is such a big part of her, you know, you know,
early stages. So then we are like, all right, how about your
mother and your father in law? And because they're the last two pieces members
of the family that we have and Tanya is not getting along with her husband
and they're selling their house, so we have not seen them in four months,
and so where did they live? A little north of Rancho Kukumanga.
Okay, so I'm thinking they're gonna be up here just excited to see the
baby boy. And so she got on the phone with me the day after
Quintin was born and she was crying and saying, I'm so sorry I didn't
I couldn't make it up there, you know, we were doing a showing
of the house the next day or whatever. And I'm like, oh,
was she supposed to come, like for the birth, like be at the
hospital. So and by the way, we haven't seen them in three months
before this, so they've been gone, right, so U and it was
Sari really disappointed that our mom didn't come. Yeah, yeah, because it's
just her and I and we have no help aside from our you know,
Lupeta, right, he's now a family member, but we don't have any
help. So if like this, the school's not going to be there tomorrow,
that means one of us or we'll probably take shifts. She'll do the
first half of the day, I'll do the second half. We we can't
go to work, and it just it just messes with you, especially when
you're trying to get back into the you know, back into the normacy of
your schedule routine. And so this is what really pissed me off yesterday.
I actually I've never said anything bad to my mom. I've ever spoken bad.
She's always been really nice and respectful to me. So all week she's
saying she's gonna come up on Sunday, that being what is that yesterday?
Yeah? So, and Elliott's getting excited, you know, she's three and
a half. And uh, and I start I hear my mother, I'm
sorry. My wife on the phone with her mother at like ten am,
and she's looking at me, give me that look like there's some bullshit going
on here. And her mother's like, called John, who's her husband.
He's out at Stater Brothers picking something up, but we're not. You know,
he he wants to stay home at the open house because he doesn't trust
people being in our house when they're doing a showing. So can you convince
him to come up? And I'm just like, what is this bullshit?
By the way, real estate agents love it when trust really buyers, especially
when you're sitting in around Yeah. Yeah, So my wife does call him.
I'm like, why the fuck are you calling him? Don't play this
game. Tell your mom are you coming up or not? Does the mom
drive yes? So we got that. I was nervous because her mom's sixty
and she's had some health problems, so we had verified sixty sixty her mom's
my age. Yeah, say like me in a couple of years. Yeah,
I always say Tom Cruise just jumped off a fucking motorcycle. Them driving
like like, I can can you imagine somebody being like, oh Stephanie's driving
is well, I can't imagine that act well you yeah, with my anxiety,
but yeah, okay, So I'm like, what the fuck? So
then she asked her mom, are you coming up or not? And then
she says, well, let me call you back, and she's like whispering
or something. And then she calls back and she's like, I'm sorry.
We were going to stay here because I have to watch John. Okay,
I have to so John has to watch the real turn. She wants to
watch John and make sure he doesn't stupid her the real real estate agent.
Get out of here. Oh my god. So she's not coming and then
probably around. So then that's wh why doesn't she just come alone? Exactly?
Why these are not answers that I have? This is all confusing to
me, and I and I just I get mad because I'm like, what
game are we playing? Do you not want to drive up here? Is
this a hassle? Do you not really kid's forty five minutes? Yeah,
Jesus fucking family, we ask you this. Does Shari have siblings? No,
so this is their second grandchild and they're not that interested. And not
only that, there was kind of a statement made that because the house isn't
sold and there's a lot going on, there's no they can't even put a
visit on the calendar. Right, So now it's in limbo. Yes,
So now you have my wife and I with two kids and no school in
trying to figure out and by the way, we want to see them,
and Elliott wants you know, she calls a Mima and Mimi and Papa John
and that's all she said yesterday. And then we had to pull an audible
and go, let's go to the acquirement of the Pacific. So we put
a two week old and a three and a half year old in a car
seat for an hour and a half ride down to Long Beach just to get
out of the house and figure out what Because you guys know and a lot
of your listeners as parents Saturdays and Sundays, especially when the kids are young,
as how the fuck do I burn through? Oh my god, the
right. Yeah, and so that's your mission work. Lynette first told me
this when we were in Vegas like five years ago. I'd never thought of
this. She said, Saturdays and Sundays are the work totally. Oh,
I would be so resentful of three day weekends. Oh my god. When
Luther King fuck himself, I was like, are you kidding me? A
Monday that I know? I remember thinking of my kid Remember when days off
I looked forward to them? Right, No, not with young kids.
You're like, oh my god, it's a whole day of like how many
trips to the dollar store can you do? That's taken? Another walk that's
taken another You can't only go to the park for like, I mean two
The park has an expiration that's like two hours. Yes, tops, yep,
yeah, Kaylin, you know what we're talking about. Oh yeah,
you're in it. Yeah. We did a lot of the park last year,
and uh, I know we went. We're close to the beach,
so we can always just pop over to the beach. So that's very helpful.
Yeah, beach is hard though, that's a haul and a half.
That scared me. I went to Paradise cold. When my mom was here
before the four Quentin was born, and Elliott wanted to jump in the ocean,
she runs right up and that tide just put I put a floaty on
or whatever. But and she's a suicide machine. So I'm like, you
just gotta watch her like a hawk. And then now you're a lifeguard right
in your word, Yeah, I'm paid. It's all unpaid. You're like,
you know, it's so interesting that when I have help, I have
to pay that person like a lot of money, but I do this exact
same job for free. Like I could be making so much money watching my
own kid, you know what, I'm right, But it's like we have
to do it for the pleasure of it, whereas people get paid a lot
of money to entertain the kids all day. I remember, those should just
like recruit a few neighborhood kids because you're doing it anyway, so you would
get paid, right, just some random babies, You're right, I remember.
I mean I probably told the story on the podcast before. But when
Elbi was were the twins a little maybe I just had Elby and she was
little, and something was wrong with John. He had to go get a
test he there was blood in his urine. Remember the story. I called
a hem materia or something. Anyway, it somehow he had had some test
and it was like, you need to go get a a CT scan or
whatever immediately. And I was freaking out, like I fully thought he had
cancer. And somehow I needed some I needed somebody to watch Elby for like
an hour so I could take him to the place. And there was just
nobody because I guess at that point my mom. I don't know if that
was no. My mom was just so unhelpful when I had a little kid.
I mean, it was the biggest imposition on her. If I asked
her to come see Elby if I babysitting, was just like her whole thing
was, yeah, I'll watch Elby for you, but it has to be
at my house. She lived in West Hollywood, so I'd have to bring
all the stuff, Like I'd have to drive over the hill to West Hollywood,
leave her there with a pack and play and like all her stuff.
Because my mom didn't have anything that people that don't have children. Houses need
to be kids safe, right, you know, there's patios, there's swimming
pools, there's yeah, but this was even when Elbe was a baby.
At this point, my mom was not interested in Like I was like,
but could you just come to my house so she could sleep in her crib?
You know, my mom was like, no, it's just inconvenient,
so if you want us to watch her, I had to drive there and
then I left her there and then we I had to go back over the
hill because this was when I went to the Emmy's with John daytime. Emmys,
don't get excited, no celebs. We and then we so I got
dressed up, drove in the like it was hot, drove down there,
my mom watched the baby, went to the Emmys, drove all the way
back over the hill, picked up the baby even though she was asleep,
had to transfer her out of the pack and play packaball her ship, put
her in the car seat, drive home, and then transfer her back into
her crib. And I'm sure she didn't go right back to sleep. Rather
than my mom just driving over, who had nothing to do, by the
way, no other grandkids, like nothing on her schedule. She just didn't
feel like it. So I know, like that feeling of feeling like you
have no help, and the time that John had to go for this test.
I remember begging and literally begging a neighbor who had a kid. So
this was a little older Elby's age, and she was like, yeah,
I was planning on taking my kid to like whatever, some indoor play place,
and I was could you take LB two take with her? No,
I'm sorry I had to drag LB. I don't remember how I did it,
but I just remember that feeling of just like, oh my god,
I have no one and no backup plan. It's just me. That's like,
if something's wrong with John, is mom still with us? Mine?
Yeah, she is alive and well I have not spoken to her. Last
time I spoke to her was when Elbi was two. Wow, okay doing
the mouth on that. So LB is eighteen going on nineteen. Yeah,
how about you, Robin. My parents, my father died about six years
ago and my mom died two years ago. So but they were I have
no stories to share that We're awesome. They were awesome, and they were
That's why I wanted. That's my mission. I want my kids. And
they're like, well, you know one time I wanted to. I wanted,
you know, the the Supreme Package at Disneyland, the Skip, the
line pass and Dad didn't get it. And they're pitching about that totally,
and I'll go shut up. Yes, shot, I was an amazing father.
Okay, yeah, I didn't see There was a time I didn't see
my dad for sixteen years at some point, and then I saw him at
the tail end of his life. I last time I saw him as like
my senior year of college, he showed up at our dorms. I'm sorry,
freshman year drives up. I don't know what he was doing in Nevada
and he stayed the night. It was Thanksgiving in our dorms. What what?
Yeah? Oh my god? Talk about boundary issues and get this,
you know, it's so bizarry. So I feel I feel bad for the
audience, going like, oh, Pat always comes in here and like wines
about his horrible childhood. I had an amazing childhood otherwise, But I can
talk about these fuck ups my dad. It doesn't sound that great otherwise,
by the way. You know what, as a kid, maybe in comparison
to the dad, but my life was about friends, friends that I still
have to this day. Kids. Yeah, I friends that I made in
the third grade on the school bus are still the people that I talked to
So my dad sits me on the couch, get this one, and I
shared this with my mother in your spoken to him for sixteen years prior to
this was the sixteen years coming. So he disappeared when I was three,
and then I would see him maybe once a year he'd drop off a Christmas
present or because he'd always live in different states. And then I did live
with him for about six months in nineteen ninety because my mom moved to England
for a little while and he hated that and I rarely saw him at the
house. But then yeah, so that was kind of like, Oh,
he told me that he was selling the house, so I needed to leave,
and so then my mom had to rush back to England so that I
could have somewhere to stay to finish up I think my junior or sophomore year
that year, and so that is the last time I saw him until my
freshman year of college, where he I mean, just back up for like
one moment. Can you imagine in any universe telling your kids, I gotta
sell the house so I don't like figure it out? Oh you want to?
Can you fucking imagine? All right? Hold on, take one break
let's take Oh, I got a story good, I mean not good,
but I got a story. Tell it so he doesn't actually sell the house.
I am now living with my mother in a one bedroom apartment on a
cot in the living room, so I can't even have friends over the because
I basically am sleeping in a one bed. I'm embarrassed. I remember my
mom was like, hey, she heard me bitching about it and with a
friend on the phone, and she's like, look at it. It's like
it's half full, not half empty. I was like, all right,
Mom, so which you have? Apparently? Yeah, well you have to
be so. I So it's junior year of high school, and you know,
I'm starting to drink beers and stuff. I remember that I'd hid a
twelve pack of bud light in my dad's house in a and I think a
closet or somewhere. So my friend John rive me over there because he has
a car, and no one's supposed to be home because the house is for
sale or something. So I sneak in through the attic. On the East
coast, there's attis. I crawled through a crawl space and I'm going to
go up the stairs in which would open to the kitchen, so, by
the way, I can totally relate to kneating beer that back. I walk
up the stairs and it's like a scene from Where's that Pulp Fiction? Where
Bruce Willis feels so fucking comfortable that he's gonna eat a pop tart or something,
but there's like two people trying to kill him in his apartment. So
I kind of nonchalantly just walk up, going, oh, coast is clear,
no one's here. I opened the door and my dad is in a
pink dress in heels with a wig on, in earrings, and there's a
guy sitting in his underwear at the dinner table, and my dad was just
pulling open the oven because something was cooking. This is at three in the
afternoon. So are you sure this wasn't a fever dream because there's some information
that came later. Wow. So the door opens. I go, Dad,
what's going on here? Why are you in a dress? And he
said it's a Halloween m And I said it's April and he said you gotta
go M. So, you know, no judgment, but very a lot
of beer. I did not get the beer. I just got in the
car. Give me one second, I think I dropped something, so I
didn't tell a soul. In fact, I didn't start sharing this to people
outside of my family because I at some point, oh, we want to
talk about East Coast, and East Coast is in their fucking sense of humor.
So I share this with my brother Mark, who is God, he's
got a weird sense of humor. And I asked my mom about it,
and she said, well, one time I woke up when we were first
dating, and I saw your dad and he was dressed in my clothes,
in my heels, and he just and I said, Peter, what are
you doing? And he said, I just like the way it feels.
No judgment, yeah, no, not at all. And so then my
uncle Barry was his coworker at a company called Digital, which I think got
bought by like I don't know, like what's one of the big computer companies
anyway, in the eighties. This was a huge Texas Instruments or something huge
company. And my uncle shared with me that my dad, who was like
a high level person at this company, who had actually no like And this
is just adults telling me this as a kid, and this is me sharing
it as I remember being told me my dad was essentially a social climber through
having sex with other men at the company, and they flew him around the
world. So I had some eyes it possibly, and he shouldn't have felt
this way even back then. My mum raised me as someone who was just
understanding and just everyone's lives, you know, And so I I surmised that
my father was probably trying to hide us because he didn't think I'd understand or
whatever. But that's why he didn't like you living with him, probably because
he couldn't live his life like that. He was always gone, never there.
It was so weird. I had the whole house to myself. I'd
never had that kind of freedom before. So wait, so this was before
though he showed up at your dorm. I'm sorry. Yeah, now,
so we don't talk. That's the last time I see him stays at the
dorm. We're sitting on the couch and a couple of my roommates had decided
to stay through Thanksgiving. They loved it because he went out and bought us
booze. He hooked us up, so a bunch of nineteen year olds.
I remember the first time I ever tried wild turkey, which is completely disgusting.
So Annie also bought Thanksgiving dinner for everybody. So he sleeps. I
guess he decides he's gonna asleep in our dorm with us, and we're drinking
and he shares with me, just like off the cuff, like you tell
somebody that your favorite flavor of cake is chocolate. He says, you know,
I didn't want to have you. And I was like really, and
he said yeah, I tried talking. Your mom would get an abortion,
but she wouldn't do it. I was like, oh my god, why
would someone say that? And then when my mom was out here like three
weeks ago, I actually, this is where all right? So my mom
coming out here three weeks ago. By the way, if the audience doesn't
like me, they're gonna hate this podcast. Why your mom? So your
mom came out like your mom made the trip. My mom made the trip
finally because she had had a stroke in late twenty eighteen. She was a
tough woman, but she was now scared and had panic attacks and would not
get on a plane. Then COVID happened, but she finally made it out
here. I'm just comparing it to the Rancho Cucamo, Yes, but not
during the birth. She came out basically for the baby shower, which meant
something. It meant a lot to me. She could have timed it out
to come out for the birth. I kind of preferred, you know,
because she's eighty and whatnot, just come out and have a good time.
And I kind of looked at it, and we took lots of pictures.
Is I'll see my mom again, but I think this is probably the last
time she'll be here, so I wanted to make sure we captured it.
I took her, We went out to a paradise cove, We had the
baby shower, we went out to see Cool in the Gang at the Hollywood
Bowl and boxes and just tried to make the best four days out of it
as we could. Well, and then you could spend time with her and
not caring for a new thing, exactly right. It was more about kind
of like closing a door in a way. I think. So my mom
had said, yeah, basically, when you weren't a girl, and this
is such a ship headed guy, excuse he was done when when he found
out you were a boy, he was done. I was like, oh,
well, I'm glad, I asked, but yeah, so he told
you that after the door, Why am I so stuck on the dorm thing
he came out in them? Because it's reminding me of what was that document?
Yes, yes, where dad risen and then moves into them. Basically
I'm connected to that story. So that's the Lawrence family that owned that academy.
The Lawrence is their son is the famous TV producer Bill Lawrence that created
Ted Lasso. Wait is wait so my wife is the personal assistant of his
wife. So wait, so Sarah Lawrence the college. That's what we're talking
about. Is the Lawrence family owns that college, and Bill Lawrence is the
son. Bill Lawrence is the son. Okay, yeah, wow, that
was a crazy story. Crazy story so that I remember when that was taking
place, that was well, that was forever ago. But but that dad
of the girl, oh yeah, showed up at the door and was just
like, hey, guys, let me buy some beer and some dinner and
and I'm just gonna stay Awhile that brought back memories when I watched that talk.
I bet yeah, weird similarity. He only did one night, one
night, and you don't think that that's the last time you're going to see
him. So then I'm in my senior year of college, and I was
always no, but it's in He lives in Florida. Now he's living with
my grandmother by the way, spending all her money. So I'm in touch
with my grandmother. We write letters where if there's phone calls and she would
talk about what a piece of crappy was and she say, Peter, get
on the phone, talk to your son. So the plan is my senior
year, everyone goes away for spring break. I was waiting for a plane
ticket for the to go down there to hang out with them spring break.
So I get a call from my dad on the it's like the Thursday before
you know you're supposed to get Monday or whatever, a few days before spring
break would happen. He tells me the plane ticket isn't coming because my grandmother's
in the hospital, and so we got to cancel the trip. So I
spent the entire week basically hanging out by myself. There were a couple of
people there, but it was a shitty spring break. So a week later,
I call when I think he's not going to be there, because I
knew he would would go fishing during the day quite a bit and She picked
up the phone and I said, Grammy, are you okay? And she
said, what what do you mean I'm fine? I said, you weren't
in the hospital. She said now, oh wow. So I said,
fuck it. No more letters to that asshole. I'm not going to pretend
writing giving him Christmas cards. I don't see him for sixteen years. Two
thousand and seven, I get a phone call. I'm in Los Angeles.
Would you like to meet And he do you know where the Fox and Hound
Bar is? Yes, he says, I'm out of place called the Fox
and how would you come meet me? And I said yes. And I
saw him maybe once a year for three years, and then he passed and
I flew down to Florida for one day in the hospital to kind of think
I was gonna say goodbye. I got on the plane, had a couple
of Pino Grid shows, got off the plane, drove home, not drove
home, took it taxi, fell asleep, woke up. His often said
he died and that was it. Well he had a girlfriend. Yeah,
well that's well, I'll save that for another That is a crazy one.
That is I'll save that for another fcol Yeah, I share my see we
can't do this on a podcast. All we do is talk about super reality
TV. I mean, so thanks for this therapy session. By the way,
thank you for this therapy gosh. So in conclusion, Sheari's mom kind
of being a dead beat. Yep, all the parents gone of like it's
no help, blown away. But you're you were saying before we started that
she's like doing well, her mood is good, like all right, So
I didn't realize. So how much do you guys? What do you think
of this? I think when kids are born, eighty percent of who they
are just comes out. I would agree with that. It's either nurture and
nature, right fifty fifty. I think it's more they are who they are.
Yeah, Elliott came out as a tornado. I remember the first night
we brought her home. Srie and I are looking at it like, what
the hell did we get ourselves into? She was throwing the pacifier. We
took turns holding it in her mouth all night long. We finally had to
get the snow that we rented just to put her asleep. The second she
could start talking, she was stepping like trying to attack the dogs, just
in a fun way. And she is she's a nightmare. A nightmare.
Quentin sleeps through the night. We have to wake him up. And I
don't have a favorite. I actually like the crazy, but I am hoping
that he's mellow and right now it's it seems that he is going to be
a very mellow, nice, gentle kid, and she is a hurricane right
good. Interesting. Zander was was pretty mellow kid, pretty like didn't get
ruffled very easily. And Sadie was already like I would tell John, I'm
like, this kid never smiles like she's just like Jack was very earnest,
that's word. We's like an old man. And to get him to nap,
we had to swaddle him to within an inch of his life and put
him in a swing full blast and turn on a blow dryer. Yeah you
know you can buy those these days. It wasn't loud enough. I swear
to got. It had to be so extreme for that kid to like shut
down. Give me hope, guys. So now obviously you have teenagers you
did in college insane? Yeah, yeah, my twins are fifteen and they'll
they'll be sixteen in November. We don't, don't you think? I think
every age is more fun like I keep thinking I'm at my favorite age,
and then the next year is better. I think it just gets better.
Even though Elliott is a tornado, it still cracks me up. She's three
and a half and it's just kind of fun. Like I got on a
FaceTime with her today and she goes Addy's on the phone and she goes no,
like a movie and just walked out of the frame. It's like,
hey, hey, three, three, and four I think are tough ages.
You do, okay? I think five. I thought five was like
that the Wizard of Oz, like it goes from black and white to color.
I was like, oh, this is why people have kids. Like
five felt like Elbie was like a kid, like and I had, you
know. And of course when she was three, I had two more babies,
so it was it was extra hard. So I didn't enjoy it that
much because it was just like very stressful and overwhelming. But I just remember
her being five and being like, oh my god, she's so fun,
Like she has conversation, has actual conversations. She's like makes little jokes like
she you can reason with her, Like I like that. Now I've been
listening to you for eight years, so obviously there's also the ups and downs
of like the emotions and the yeah yeah, well, I think it's it's
just a lot different having teenagers. I mean, like I miss even though
I complained about it NonStop. I miss like the you know, six,
seven, eight, nine, ten, Like I like it was like so
much fun. I mean, I Halloween was a big deal and all the
things like that's just not a thing. Like they're so independent. Has your
schedule change as far as how your life is? Like right now, everything
on the weekend is about the kids and just making sure they have fun and
whatever. And then obviously during the week it's if there's not a nanny there,
you're doing something for the kids. Right now, Have you had to
restructure your life because I assume, you know, I forget my kids are
there. Like It'll be a Saturday and it'll be noon and I will have
done like a bunch of stuff and on the computer, and then I'll be
like, what are they even awake? And I'll go, John, are
they have you seen either of our kids yet? Because Elby will be out
like she's at work, Like she'll get up before we do and go to
work and be gone for nine hours and then yeah, and then come home
and have plans like all we know is life three sixty tells me I'll be
arrived at home, I'll be left home, I'll be arrived at home,
and I'm like, I don't know, and yeah, and then Sadie and
Xander are busy. I mean, we do have to drive them more places
now. They've gotten more social this year, So that's what I'm happy about
that because it's like they get to a certain age and then you're not allowed
to entertain them anymore because they don't really want to be with you doing stuff.
They want to be with their friends. But then if they don't have
friends and stuff to do, then they're sad. Right. So when we
were also just talking about the driving thing, you know, that's when you
talk to your kids when they're teenagers. So you kind of miss when they
start driving, you know, not getting to be with them in the car.
So like, I just had a going to the mall with Xander and
we have like such a fun time, like, and he was trying on
dress clothes and it was like a couple of hours of you know, he
was kind of frustrating with how stuff was fitting, and I was like,
I related to being that age, you know, just the a little awkward
age, and you know, it was like super fun and he makes me
laugh and I was like, this is nice. We should do this some
other time, you know, and miss it. That's what I'm looking forward
to. I'm having I'm with you guys. I'm having fun with all the
stages. I think it's going to get start getting really really fun with Ellie
because she's insane, and then the boy's gonna be mellow hopefully. Yes.
And now I feel like, you know, I'm an old dad and I
have I told Sriago, we gotta stay healthy because it's just you and me.
We gotta stay healthy for these kids. You know that's so hard.
What do you mean just knowing that it's just just yeah, like that's how
John and I feel. I mean, John's parents have both passed. I
have my brother and sister in law. But you know, I mean,
that's it. So like we still have a piece of paper of God forbid,
something happened to us. Where would the kids go? Think about that?
Where were they going? And you filled it out? Yeah, it's
it's as a friend of mine that I've known for twenty two years, him
and his wife. They live one block away from here, and yeah,
we put them and as the guardians, we we don't let them know that
we have huge life insurance policies because they might have us murdered. But yeah,
that's yeah, because I was the guardian for one of my best friends
kids on her but you know, they're twenty six and thirty now, so
it was our best choice to look out for the kids. Yeah. Yeah,
Well, on that note, this has been so lovely Patrick. We
loved having you. You were going to maybe bring Scherie, but yeah,
she was laying in there. She offered to come out, and I was
just like, oh, let's feel it out. If I if we start
talking a lot about the babies and stuff, well I'll just text it.
She was willing to come out. I wanted to talk about some documentaries,
but I guess I'll have to come on another time. We'll do it again.
We'll do a crossover. We'll do an extra episode that you can put
on bad TV and we'll put our Yeah sounds great. One question, betrayal.
Did we ever talk to his first wife? Because I want to stand
what the fuck was going on? I'm in the middle of it right now,
okay, it's like the child Porn one two season one. They did
the documentary on Hulu. This scumbag who well, the first episode really wrap
us up in a minute, is called fairy Tale. It was a love
like two kids loved each other in high school or college. They break up,
they find each other twenty some odd years later. The woman is a
successful TV producer out here. He stayed kind of close to a hometown.
He's now divorced, and they get this whirlwind back together and it's this.
It's there should be a movie made about them finding each other. That's part
one. Part two is what this scumbag's up to? Oh no, I
set that up right. He's like basically living a double life. I mean
he is a teacher and this it's on Hulu. It's tough. Yeah,
he's sleeping with one of his students, a teenager six like a sixth student.
He was a telemarketer for set as well. He's got feelers out there
constantly. Former sea and a teacher, so he'd reach out to students.
Nice teacher, Yeah, he was voted teacher of the Year two times in
a year. Meanwhile, he also owns with his wife a wine bar in
town. He's having sex with everybody at the wine. Anyway, all we'll
talk about that. I just it's a crazy doc. It's hard to recommend
like such disturbing contact. Good Okay, anyway, yes, we'll get we'll
do that for bad TV crossover. Oh yeah, so can we plug my
podcast? Of course? Okay, I don't know if we need unless you're
a diehard Belowdeck fan. Kalin produces that show. It's another Belowdeck podcast.
We talk exclusively or about Belowdeck. I would like to point out also that
it's like the Belowdeck Recap podcast. Like all of the cast members of Below
Deck listen to their show and oh yeah, they reach out for interviews like,
oh yeah, they're the Belowdeck Recap. I don't even watch Belowdeck,
and I listen to your poda really if it's hilarious. I was a huge
fan of it even before they hired me. Oh yeah, where do I
start? Just they start a new season in like three weeks with the and
we actually have the main chief stew We interviewed him about three weeks ago.
He lays down so much tea on that show that he will get in trouble.
We had to edit it down but we still left. Uh. He
talks major shit about the cast. It's amazing. But if you want to
hear us, just talk about reality TV in general, like ninety Day Fiance
or Love is Blind. That's bad TV podcast and my host Dylani's super funny
and Klin produces it. Yeah, all right, cool. Do you have
an Instagram you want to plug? I think it's just what is inst what's
the instagram? Another below deck podcast? Yeah, okay, I don't care
about in all right? Cool? All right, thanks Patrick, We love
you, Thanks for having us. I love you guys. Okay, hey,