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Welcome to soft core history. Hello, and welcome back to softcore history.

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I'm I'm a guest on the show. I guess who's Who's there? The

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bulls backing down? Oh man,
you don't even understand how funny it is.

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He chose that song because it haunted
his entire bachelor party weekend. Yeah,

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Joe Nollet played the song. I
would have to mention at least one

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hundred and fifty times. I actually
know that reference despite not being on the

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bachelor party. Yeah, that I
was not invited to, or the wedding

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that I was not invited to.
Sorry, well you were invited to my

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bachelor party. You didn't go.
Didn't go? I was poor at that

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point. I also went to your
wedding with ten dollars in my bank account.

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That it was pretty fun though.
That led to some good stories.

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It was great. Yeah, some
for another time. I almost overdrafted my

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account with the parking situation, but
then thankfully bouch covered it. And then

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uh got proceeded to get robbed,
got robbed. I met a lot of

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people lost there lost their wallets that
weekend, like it literally at least five

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people lot. I think Andrew Adams
lost everything, because I saw him at

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the airport having to like go through
security. They had to like verify it.

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Oh my god, yeah, to
verify like addresses, five addresses ago

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and shit by Buddy Trevor lost his
ship and accused the little black kid of

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stealing it. But then but then
they found it. He just left it

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on the bar and then the little
kid was like, so yeah, but

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he actually chased him down the street. He did, did he really?

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Chad? And you bucket drummer get
back here, John, are so crafty?

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How can they drum on the buckets
and steal your wallet at the same

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time? And then boot there was
boosh, there's my buddy Denny, who

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was the best man. I mean
it was a lot. There was a

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lot of people who like literally just
became destitute over the weekend. I can't

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imagine a worst city to lose your
wallet. No, oh, actually,

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is it the worst city or is
it the best city? Because that's the

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city you can immediately start prostituting yourself
in. That's true. It's it's way

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more loose. Morley and I think
Fort Worth would be a bad city.

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Also a great city to just start
fresh, yeah, like new identity,

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Well, if you're looking for a
lot of fun and not losing your wallet

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at the same time. For mere
five dollars a month, you can get

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two extra episodes a week of this
show on our Patreon that's patreon dot com

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slash softcore history. Yeah, a
bunch of evergreen content. I have bones

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to pick now because I'm back.
I listened to content that we put out

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except for the most recent episode.
Gabby has not been on almost as much

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as me. You guys all can't
count. You guys are bad at counting.

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Dan. It was close, Dan, you get a pass your Dan.

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Your beard is back so fast,
just ship. What the fuck is

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that? This is so funny?
But it's in that pewby middle ground.

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I know, yeah, but you
know what happens with my beard is it's

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kind of like the Plato gets squashed
into my face. There's gross hair Plato

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in your in your jaw bone,
and it gets squished through your poor like

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stomping ship through a drain and a
shower. When's the last time that the

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shower. I've never shop in the
shower. Every morning I ship pissed and

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come in the shower. You've never
shipped in the shower and like stomped it

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down. I've never done that when
you were like hungover, No, what

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are you an animal? When are
you a gorilla? I guess let me

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uno reverse card. When was the
last time you did that? It's been

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within the year. Oh my god, that fucking foul. You've never risked

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it on a fart and it just
okay, So like juicy, are you

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talking like full tard here? Are
you talking like logs? Log? Not

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logs but definitely spray. Okay,
but that's like, that's not stomping it

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through the I've never pooped in the
shower, straight up, never pooped.

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I never shipped myself in the shower. You know. I've had this disease

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since I was like, yeah,
I conquered crones with my mind or the

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next only ship in the shower once
a month, going to my crones.

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Pick late both ways, dude,
it's you want a quality, but you

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want me to hold your door.
It's like bi annual. God damn wait

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wait wait wait wait wait wait bi
annual. So twice a year, once

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every other year, twice a year? What is once every other year?

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Choose your own adventure, Jake worse, it's more less less this is worse

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because flare ups. Man, You're
like, when's gonna happen? Yeah,

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so I did my my birthright uh
to the Floridium one though. Yeah,

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yeah, I jumped through a rotten
manatee off of a pontoon book. We

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can't really make the other birthright jokes
at this point. No, no,

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it's almost no poor taste. No
it's not Portast but no, how could

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it be in Portaste now and not
two months ago when we were making this

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joke. We're making those jokes pre
October seventh. We were making those jokes

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all the entire time, if jokes. Yeah, before it kind of got

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sparked, I guess I have to
plug this real quick. I've never actually

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been in the IDF and you don't
have to clarify that. Yeah, I'm

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sure no one is mistaken. I
don't. I woke up on October eighth

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to a message from Jake that just
said get some Oh man, that's weird.

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It was weird. I was really
drunk that night, oh man.

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So yeah, I was in Florida
though, I was visiting some family and

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some nieces. So for like nine
days of it, I was in ocal

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first, and then I went up
to. I stayed on the same beach

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island, Valano Beach that I got
married on. Rob, you've seen it,

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and damn sure you've been to.
It's technically like it's an island.

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Technically it's like the other side of
the Inner Coastal is like a long strip

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of beach. It is an island. It's horrified sand bar, it really

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is. It's a giant sandbar.
I had no sense of it. You

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know, you know when you travel
to places and you don't really know where

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you are, what is anything.
You're just like, Okay, there's hot

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hell and publics, and there's where
Jake got married. And then there's a

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third location where the fucking reception or
not reception, the rehearsal dinner was.

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And I don't even know what was
around that. Oh okay, because the

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fucking parking lot is like in a
forest, almost like clearing in a forest.

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And then it's out to the ocean. Yes, I don't know what's

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outside the forest. I don't know. So that's actually you run the Inner

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Coastal for the rehearsal dinner. The
campground was right next to that restaurant,

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so we could walk to it from
our campground. Okay, I was in

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an RV for nine days, uh, and I was just exploring a lot.

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We had a lot of time to
be out there. We didn't take

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a taking a two week vacation since
I got uh married for my honeymoon,

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so we were like vacation all the
time. I haven't had a two week

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vacations. Oh my god. Yeah, we had three weeks vacation. I

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had a two week vacation. I
mean, like, I've had two weeks

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off work. I haven't gone on
like a two week cho I don't recall

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ever having two weeks off work.
Maybe ten like ten days. Oh what

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Christmas or whatever? Christmas break?
Yeah, it's like ten days. It's

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like nine or ten days. Sometimes
it's shorter, Reacher, I've been off

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work for three and yeah, three
months and some change, and it's you've

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been on a permanent vacation, heaving
the time of man life. I just

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I just assume, like your trip
was, yeah, very Florida. You

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jump through a rotting manatee. You
and your wife made love on a bed

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of pythons. Also, oh no, that's South Florida. Yeah. But

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when we were at Grandex, we
had technically unlimited vacation that I never took

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vacation. It's a trap. They
do that so you feel bad about taking

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more than six days. You also
can't take off content. It never sleeps.

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It never does, especially when you're
bloging every day. You've unlimited vacation

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that you have to approve. Although
I used it a lot for I would

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just basically just take Fridays off to
like travel for football or something. But

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that about it. So a couple
of things I got to do that hadn't

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done before. So Saint John's River
has a ferry going across the like from

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north of Jack's Beach to northeast Florida
for Nadina Beach. So you can drive

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onto a ferry and just go across
the Saint John's River. It takes all

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of five minutes to do it,
but it's kind of fun. Like I've

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never been on a car ferry before. Okay, it was named the Genre

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Baul Genre Bowl. So is this
kind of where you're trying to apply or

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hybe you're gonna be a ferry driver
maybe one day, but no, I

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don't want it. That seems really
complicated. That boat, that river's past

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boat captain. That name is important
though for later genre Baul we saw where

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Fort Caroline used to be the French
fort Fuck, not the Spanish for it.

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In Saint Occut, there weren't a
lot of good times, sir.

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And then we also checked out south
Saint Augustine, which I've never been to

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before. And there's this inlet called
the Matanzas Inlet that is part of the

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Matanzas River and goes out to the
Atlantic Ocean. I would say that is

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like the most similar to the keys
you can find in like mainland Florida.

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It looks like that clear water,
super clear water. If you look it

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up, it's like like crystal blue
Bahama. Wa. Wait is that the

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river that has clear super clear There's
a couple in Florida off of the head

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springs, so like Itchiatucky has glass
clear water. Yeah, Rainbow has pretty

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clear water. Geenie Springs does not
have clear water after like about twenty feet

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from the head spring. It's full
of poo. It's full of poo,

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full of gators too. It's full
of gator and gator pool. It's full

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of tampons, bottles of steel.
Reserve magical place anytimes, Like every river

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I floated on in Missouri. Oh
yeah, for sure, tampons and steel

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reserve. But I don't have to
pick up your tube like you do in

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Texas. You have to walk.
That is the river dry. No,

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they're deep rivers in Florida. It's
all just one river that doesn't raise consistently

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in Florida. But you know,
Saint Augustine obviously has a lot of history,

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the oldest city in America. But
there's this particular spot which a lot

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of people don't know about. And
that is the last thing I mentioned,

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the Matanzas River. A couple of
misnumbers. So want to just talk about

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you know, and just talking about
Saint Augustine. But Ponce de Leon first

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laid his eyes on the coast of
Florida on March twenty seventh, so a

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couple of days from now, fifteen
thirteen. A lot of people believe he

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was in search of a fountain of
youth. Do you guys think that?

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I don't know. I feel like
there was a lot of magical thinking about

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the new world. Why not think
wrong? I think he found it right

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wrong, and we've confirmed it with
all these you know, snowbirds coming down

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living longer. Yeah, Kittie actually
has a theory that all the Florida bad

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press shit started once like snowbirds started
moving down and be like, we can't

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let more snowbirds move down here.
It's kind of like the Iceland effect.

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It's like, get all the crime
published in national media. So they wanted

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to prevent people from moving there.
Yeah, because Florida is great. I

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mean, didn't work. Didn't work, No it didn't. Well, no

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it didn't. It didn't. It's
just sur passing New York as the third

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most populous state. Oh it did. Yeah, so it is. It

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is crushing, Okay, in my
hometown is actually the fastest growing state or

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fastest growing city in the entire country
right now. That's insane, which is

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insane because if you go there,
you'd be like, no, it's not

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just way yeah it's not. But
it's because it's all empty so far except

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for a little bit. There's gonna
be so many strip malls, beautiful.

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Oh, I just want some good
old fact. They already have overpriced apartments

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with like no amenities that are called
like lamp Blood District and shit like that.

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It's like, oh no, it's
coming here too. It's really lame

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when a city like Austin, for
example, explodes because everything that is like

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new. Like you walk around here, there's no like historic architecture. Really,

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it's an ugly city. It's very
gross. Everything looks like shit and

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is painted gray. I'm sorry.
One of our buildings looks like an aw

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Yeah, the frostile. That is
one of the only good buildings. Like

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tall buildings too. But I'm excited
for Okaala. They're gonna put like a

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Sunny's barbecue. There's so many sunnies
in o'kel already, there's like five.

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Maybe a hungry Howis will get it. There's a hungry howis there. It's

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not like there's nothing there. It
is the seats of Marion County, and

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it is. There's the actual city
population about seventy thousand right now, so

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it's an absolute gin. Yeah,
it's real, seventy thousand. Yeah,

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metro three hundred and fifty. How
big was it when you you grew up

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there? Probably half that? So
you your town that you grew up in

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was the same size as the suburb
that I grew up in. Yeah,

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in terms of population probably, Yeah, it's probably about forty thousand or so.

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Well, it's going I would guess
maybe fifty that'd be a little bigger

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than universities, but it's not very
big metro. It's huge. Yeah,

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it's like three hundred and fifty thousand. You go count the horses. All

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of them horses are like oh it
did go to the Wex Center actually too,

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the World of Questrian Center out there. They just built it. It's

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massive. There's a huge horse facility. You can bring your dog. So

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I brought wheeler. Run with the
horses. He saw a lot of horses.

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Do you run with them? Did
you ride a horse? I did

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not ride a horse. No.
You can just go out there for free,

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though, and just like just look
at horses. I'm actually terrified to

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jump. Shit. I got thrown
off a horse when I was like nine.

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Of course you did. How much
got stampeded? Stampeded or stampled?

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Stampeded? Word it's not trample trampled. That's the word I'm thinking of.

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Yeah, moufawsed. You got mofawsed. I got thrown off the horse because

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of some like French couple. They
were trying to go wild west with their

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ship. They got thrown off their
horses and then it spooped my horse.

203
00:13:18,639 --> 00:13:20,240
He you off? He bucked me
off, and then all the horses came

204
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:24,879
running back towards me. Oh,
I just assumed you were hungover and pooped

205
00:13:24,879 --> 00:13:26,879
on the horse as one tried to
stamp it through its mane. Yeah yeah,

206
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,559
yeah, yeah, No. I
was nine, so I had an

207
00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:31,440
excuse to poop my pants. You
did. Yeah? Did you poop myself

208
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:37,480
a little? I would when you
fell so big. Every time I see

209
00:13:37,519 --> 00:13:39,519
one up close, I'm like,
no, I'm good, fucking giant.

210
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,679
And I was wearing boxers. That
was it all came out. Yeah,

211
00:13:43,279 --> 00:13:46,320
he imagines been being in front of
a cavalry charge, just like God.

212
00:13:46,039 --> 00:13:52,039
It's weird. Between the ages of
like nine and twenty, I only wanted

213
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:58,159
to wear boxers. But everything other
even when I swam, Yeah, everything

214
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:03,799
other than that brief you were underwear
with your That was the cool thing to

215
00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:07,879
do. You wore board shorts without
netting and boxers and yeah, okay,

216
00:14:09,039 --> 00:14:11,440
it was dumb. It was very
garment news to me. I also had

217
00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:18,360
pierced ears dance honorary for the radio. That doesn't surprise me. Yeah,

218
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:22,000
look the pierced here thing. My
my buddy diamond studs, my buddy down

219
00:14:22,039 --> 00:14:24,720
he had diamond studs in his ears
too. He actually you can still see

220
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:28,679
the whole, doesn't He still doesn't
have an earring still. No, I

221
00:14:28,679 --> 00:14:31,120
thought he had a piercing. He
has the holders still there. They might

222
00:14:31,159 --> 00:14:33,840
have closed up enough now that he
can. He brings it back occasionally for

223
00:14:33,879 --> 00:14:41,399
his wife. He's engaged, but
yeah, he also The funniest thing that

224
00:14:41,399 --> 00:14:45,279
ever happened in high school was him
getting grounded by his mom for getting his

225
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,679
tongue pierced. It made him take
it out and he was feared a bar.

226
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:52,000
Did he get a bar like a
I didn't get a stud? A

227
00:14:52,039 --> 00:14:54,600
stud piercing? How do you do
at? Yeah? Like do you have

228
00:14:54,639 --> 00:14:58,519
like one of those little like spiky
guys like a ball? Yeah? I

229
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:01,320
was like, he was like,
do you buy? My Mom's so bad?

230
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,600
But I don't care, And I
was like, not worth it.

231
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:07,440
It's gonna hurt because that thing stupid. No, dude, it's for her

232
00:15:07,519 --> 00:15:11,000
man, it's for the ladies.
Here. Get a blow jay from check

233
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,320
with it. Tongue piercing. No, I'm trying to think. Yeah,

234
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:16,799
I don't think so I have it
was fine? Was it cool? It's

235
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:20,600
fine? Are you just asking us
so you can tell us that you got

236
00:15:20,679 --> 00:15:24,480
to that's such that that was,
But I want to I don't really care

237
00:15:24,519 --> 00:15:26,840
about that. Wasn't that wasn't that
I was saying, It wasn't that cool,

238
00:15:26,919 --> 00:15:33,639
like it was really whatever backed upon
state Leon though the real reason he

239
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,919
found Florida, he wasn't looking for
a fountain of youth. He was actually

240
00:15:35,919 --> 00:15:39,440
the governor of Puerto Rico for a
while. And uh, back to Rob's

241
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:46,320
point, I'm actually surprised that I
never did, because you would think would

242
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:50,639
definitely between U c F and where
you grew up. Oh yeah, somebody

243
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:56,159
got it, don't coo. They
would have their backs pierced. Whoa,

244
00:15:56,279 --> 00:16:00,080
yeah, yeah yeah, templesmples in
the back. Dude. I saw chicks

245
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:03,559
with like corset piercings and stuff.
Do you ever see those No, it's

246
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:07,720
rings up the side of your obliques. That's with ribbons dessert. Yeah.

247
00:16:07,799 --> 00:16:11,200
There was a girl in college.
I didn't hung up with her. Guy,

248
00:16:11,279 --> 00:16:12,360
my fraternity was like regularly hooking up
with her. She had both the

249
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:18,519
nipples peers. And what's funny is
that I believe now she's a guidance counselor

250
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:22,720
at my high school. And every
time I see her on the fucking social

251
00:16:22,759 --> 00:16:26,360
media, Like what would the cvc
W posts all they got just be like

252
00:16:26,559 --> 00:16:30,559
ha ha. One of my exes
had her nipples pears, but she had

253
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:34,759
a job that made sense. Stripper
hooters. Well she used to be a

254
00:16:34,759 --> 00:16:41,240
stripper. Yeah, okay, but
not beer industry up. Yeah, I

255
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:47,480
guess what you a millerite girl.
Bottle openers bro Yeah? Oh sugar,

256
00:16:47,559 --> 00:16:53,240
wrong beer Jesus uh back to pots
though. So h he was the governor

257
00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:57,399
of Puerto Rico. He wasn't super
like. People liked him like the King

258
00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:00,679
of Spain. Liked him because he's
like he was, but he was also

259
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:04,319
kind of a dick. Well weren't
they all? Yeah, so I think

260
00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:07,640
they made him. I don't know
the exact reason why, but they made

261
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,559
him give up his governorship of Puerto
Rico. But as a consolation, they

262
00:17:10,559 --> 00:17:15,759
were like, hey, you can
have Bimini, which was at that time

263
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:19,119
a fabled undiscovered land near the Bahamas. He's like, oh, hell yeah,

264
00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:22,480
I'm gonna take Bimini. That's sick
ah, Bimini sweet, I'll fucking

265
00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:29,680
have it. That's what he was
looking for when he discovered Florida on March

266
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:33,839
twenty seventh to fifteen thirteen. Uh, no mention of a fountin of youth

267
00:17:33,839 --> 00:17:37,480
occurs in any known documents from Ponce's
lifetime, including contracts and other official correspondences

268
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:41,920
with the crown. It didn't actually
get connected until many years later after his

269
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:47,160
death. And they think there's just
a Spanish court chronicler that was out to

270
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,960
discredit him like one. Obviously fucking
happened a lot. Yeah, sure,

271
00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:55,319
Bimini crickets. Uh yeah. And
the state was named after the easter feast

272
00:17:55,359 --> 00:17:59,319
Pascua Florida, which is the feast
of flowers. But we're not talking about

273
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:00,759
all that today. We're talking about
the Matanzas River. Do you know what

274
00:18:00,759 --> 00:18:04,880
Matanzas means? There's too much set
up for this. I don't. I

275
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:11,240
don't even have a joke for it. Matanzas means slaughters, slaughters, slaughters,

276
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:15,400
the river of slaughter. Okay.
I was I always like to think

277
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,119
that slaughter Lane here is named after
something horrible. I just call it south

278
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:22,720
laughter. No, I thought the
person that just named slaughter Lane just crushed.

279
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:29,119
Yeah, that was a machine pull
ass Uh. Saying s laughter is

280
00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:33,160
funny because reminding me that this guy
who was buddies with like Madison and stuff

281
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:36,599
who founded TFM. I went when
we went on Nick Bravo's bachelor party,

282
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,599
was yeah, I see we were
in New Orleans and he was like,

283
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:44,000
yeah, we'll go to like the
hotels on Sea Anol Street, Central Anal.

284
00:18:45,759 --> 00:18:48,680
It was so dumb. It's just
that's just exactly what you're talking about.

285
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:52,160
You. I'm not gonna name Canal
Street. Yeah. Yeah, it

286
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:56,880
makes me giggle every time. Very
it's the perfect joke coming from that person

287
00:18:56,920 --> 00:19:02,480
too, because that's the perfect that
guy joke. Yes it is, But

288
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:03,759
yeah, I wanted to, Like, I just was like, man,

289
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:07,640
it's like Katie Studs, like,
you should really look up what happened here.

290
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,680
I was like, Okay, then
I did, and it's a fucking

291
00:19:10,839 --> 00:19:17,720
nightmare. So uh. Once possibly
On discovered Florida, they couldn't really do

292
00:19:17,759 --> 00:19:21,559
anything or settle anything for quite a
while. Afterward. He didn't like settle

293
00:19:21,599 --> 00:19:27,039
it. He didn't found Saint Augustine. Another guy did, it's an uninhabitable

294
00:19:27,559 --> 00:19:30,240
land as far as I'm concerned.
Well, think about it too, like

295
00:19:32,319 --> 00:19:37,640
constant storms, it's mosquitoes, it's
hot as fuck, it's humid. But

296
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:42,880
Spanish attempts to establish a lasting presence
in Florida filled until September fifteen sixty five,

297
00:19:44,279 --> 00:19:47,480
so full fifty years later. Right, they couldn't settle it for that

298
00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:49,880
long? Well, I mean when
was Jamestown. That was the late fifteen

299
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:53,759
hundreds as well, I believe,
and Jamestown was the first permanent English settlement

300
00:19:53,799 --> 00:19:56,200
that was in Virginia. Yeah,
it took them that long to get into

301
00:19:56,279 --> 00:20:00,400
Virginia. Think about it, right, Once you actually finally conquer Florida,

302
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:06,160
you have those Siltan defense systems.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like

303
00:20:06,279 --> 00:20:10,039
gets to be here. Oh.
Man, there's a couple like sci fi

304
00:20:10,079 --> 00:20:11,680
shows that are like that where it's
like once you get through the cloud or

305
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:15,960
like in Dune too, like the
southern hemisphere is guarded by the storms,

306
00:20:17,279 --> 00:20:19,319
right, you have to get through
the storm cloud. Nobody can live there.

307
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,559
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's We're not even gonna bother to

308
00:20:22,599 --> 00:20:26,839
little I hope they make the second
book. They finished it with the second

309
00:20:26,839 --> 00:20:29,599
movie, right, they finished the
first book. Okay, they are Dune.

310
00:20:29,599 --> 00:20:33,880
Messiah is coming, oh for real? Yeah? Okay, man,

311
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:37,319
I hope they go to God Emperor. I hope they go to God Emperor

312
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:40,480
of Dune. I want them to
get to the part where it's like one

313
00:20:40,519 --> 00:20:42,920
thousand fucking years later. Yeah,
and like, don't spoil it, Yeah,

314
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:47,839
okay, shut nothing. Well,
like even if I told you exactly

315
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,440
what happens, you would immediately want
to go see it in a movie.

316
00:20:49,759 --> 00:20:57,160
It's insane. But anyway, in
September fifteen sixty five, Pedro Menandez finally

317
00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:03,960
founded Saint Augustine. Unfortunately for Pedro
and Spain, the French settlement of Fort

318
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:07,640
Caroline, just thirty miles north on
the Saint John's River, had been established

319
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:12,519
almost exactly a year before Saint Augustine
was settled, So the French actually settled

320
00:21:12,559 --> 00:21:19,000
first. And wow, the fifty
years, we're giving the Spanish a little

321
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:23,599
bit of a participation trophy. Then, oh, no, you start,

322
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:29,400
it's how you finish, that's right, Rob. We always claimed St.

323
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:33,160
Augustine is the first US city.
No, it's it's the first European settlement,

324
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:37,440
permanent, permanent, European settlement.
And what this thing he's talking about

325
00:21:37,519 --> 00:21:41,480
wasn't permanent? It was a fort. Well, it was there and it

326
00:21:41,519 --> 00:21:47,079
could have been permanent had someone not. How would the kids put it unpermanented?

327
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:51,319
It permanent instead of un alive?
Yeah, yeah, we have to

328
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,599
use that on YouTube now, just
like TikTok. Oh. Yeah, you

329
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:59,799
can't say there's a shue word chop
suey. So Menendas had not known that

330
00:21:59,839 --> 00:22:03,480
the French had already arrived in the
area, and upon discovering the existence of

331
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:07,480
Fort Caroline, he said no,
yeah, he said, no, this

332
00:22:07,519 --> 00:22:10,160
will not do No, no,
no, no, no, no,

333
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:14,039
no no. The French they are
a problem. But to be honest,

334
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:18,599
like, does Florida give this sort
of vibe that like a Frenchman could handle

335
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:25,240
it? Louisiana seemed to Yeah,
for a minute, Yeah, that's pretty

336
00:22:25,279 --> 00:22:29,880
swampy and gross there. Yeah.
But you see, there's more than just

337
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:37,519
the territorial issue. The French were
spreading Lutheranism propaganda. French, they're Catholic.

338
00:22:40,759 --> 00:22:44,680
A lot of Protestants, a lot
of Protestants with this one this fuck

339
00:22:44,799 --> 00:22:48,160
them. I mean New Orleans is
Catholic as ship it is. Yeah,

340
00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:53,680
but these French French side with the
English. Lutheranism would be German, so

341
00:22:53,759 --> 00:23:02,559
presumably they so presumably the German he
just said Protestant, Well, protest Protestant

342
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:07,920
is just a for everything, not
Catholic. Yeah, after the Calvins Episcopalian,

343
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:14,160
Anglican, Lutheran. Did everybody else
is a pagan? I am everything

344
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:18,440
else is a heat savage infidel all
those work. Not a pagan though,

345
00:23:18,799 --> 00:23:22,319
but pagan well he didn't kind of
an umbrella term for Protestants and Pagans.

346
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:26,559
Yeah. Yeah, so Protestantism,
you're just fucking heathen yourself. No,

347
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,079
no, no, no, no, no no no. I've had I've

348
00:23:29,079 --> 00:23:32,000
had to explain that to someone.
I've had to actually explain that to a

349
00:23:32,039 --> 00:23:33,640
Protestant before they were like like what
religion? You know, They're like,

350
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:37,400
I'm a Protestant. That's not a
fucking Religiou. That's like saying I'm a

351
00:23:37,519 --> 00:23:41,759
Christian, which it's worse than that, because there are people are no denomination.

352
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:45,079
So do you have a problem with
Showgun me? No? Why because

353
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:48,039
the entire time he's just like,
I'm Protestant, I'm Protestant. Yeah,

354
00:23:48,039 --> 00:23:52,599
it's stupid. Well maybe they refer
to themselves that then because the English broke

355
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:59,720
off before Lutheranism did so at that
point they were maybe the only Protestant when

356
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:03,240
you're the only one. Yeah,
But I mean there's a lot of historical

357
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:06,519
accurausy some Showgun, but still a
great show. Nonetheless, that's fine.

358
00:24:06,759 --> 00:24:10,240
Yeah, I've only seen the first
three episodes, so it drove me crazy

359
00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:14,640
that until the eighteen hundreds all Japanese
people were blonde, and that they didn't

360
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:18,759
include that is outrageous to me.
Well, they're mostly bottom that show.

361
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:23,240
Yeah, but they on the sides. Hmmm. I don't know what to

362
00:24:23,279 --> 00:24:27,119
do with that information. It's just
fake. I guess it's completely fat.

363
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:30,680
I was about sick. Asians have
the best hair too. They really do

364
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:34,960
that. You can do anything with
that hair. It's thick and it's straight

365
00:24:36,039 --> 00:24:38,160
but not thin, you know what
I mean. Like it's thick, straight

366
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:42,119
hair like Jake's kind of got that
really honestly. Yeah, you're welcome,

367
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:47,079
You're welcome. It's great hair.
You've a Japanese had a hair. Yeah.

368
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:51,240
No, he's got a little jap
in him. Jewish American princess works

369
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:53,119
prince. He's a Jewish American prince. Yeah, that's right. No,

370
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,880
he's a princess, all right,
carrying me, just carry me, carry

371
00:24:56,880 --> 00:25:00,039
me up the stairs. Why not? I got your baby, thank you

372
00:25:00,039 --> 00:25:03,559
you. Uh. But yeah,
he didn't want that Lutheranism spreading. He

373
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:07,519
considered them heretics and pirates and invaders. I agree, are agreed on all

374
00:25:07,519 --> 00:25:11,519
front, even though we went the
second well, but uh, he marched

375
00:25:11,519 --> 00:25:17,160
his troops over and attacked the Huguenots
settlement, sparing only women, children,

376
00:25:17,559 --> 00:25:22,519
male Catholics, and a few skilled
craftsmen necessary workers. It's like you can

377
00:25:22,599 --> 00:25:26,400
They're like, yeah, well the
necessary workers to stay for now. You

378
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,559
can build a nice door. All
right, we'll keep you. We'll keep

379
00:25:29,559 --> 00:25:33,480
you for the time being. So
when the French Huguenot leader, Jean Rebault

380
00:25:34,279 --> 00:25:37,960
r I B A U L T. Wait so I'm sorry, were they

381
00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:41,039
Lutheran or Huguenot? What is what's
the difference? I don't know they were

382
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:45,279
Huguenots. I think they were also
Lutherans, though maybe maybe that's the French.

383
00:25:45,319 --> 00:25:48,039
You don't need to look it at
what is software history. I know

384
00:25:48,079 --> 00:25:52,079
that Huguenots were a French Protestant situation. I just don't know. So like

385
00:25:52,119 --> 00:26:00,359
Citronots off Brand cousin. Yeah,
it's a it's like everyone's uh in this

386
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:03,039
guy Hugh and they want to go
to space. Yeah that makes sense.

387
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:07,839
Well Hugo, right, Hugo not
Yeah, Yeah, let's another movie called

388
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:11,440
Hugo. Yeah, but Martin Scorsese. He made it, and he's a

389
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:15,319
devout Catholic. But he goes to
space in that movie. Right, it's

390
00:26:15,319 --> 00:26:19,160
the moon where the fucking moon gets
a a thing in its eye. Oh

391
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:22,680
oh, a flight to the moon. Yeah, I think that's what the

392
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:26,759
movie's about. So there's actually a
connection there. Okay, so whoa,

393
00:26:26,839 --> 00:26:30,640
whoa pull that out my ass.
Hey, put that in your head and

394
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,599
think about it for a minute.
Just think about it. Dan's just asking

395
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:37,400
questions and connecting dots. So he's
a Huganist. Uh. No, Hugenots

396
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:42,240
are Calvinists. So Calvinist is not
Lutheran. Oh, then they had some

397
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:45,319
Lutherans with them. They maybe just
had Lutherans with them. I don't know

398
00:26:45,319 --> 00:26:48,119
either way, though they had Protestants
with them. Deserve to die. Sure,

399
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:52,440
Yeah, this is accore history whatever. So uh. When the French

400
00:26:52,559 --> 00:27:00,200
Huguenot leader Jean Rabaul learned of the
Spanish presence nearby before Menendas attacks, he

401
00:27:00,279 --> 00:27:02,480
was like, fuck it, we're
gonna go sail on them. We're gonna

402
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:06,279
get them. So they were going
after each other at the exact same time.

403
00:27:06,519 --> 00:27:11,839
Okay, two ships trying to murder
each other in the night yeah,

404
00:27:11,599 --> 00:27:18,559
yeah, so I guess God had
other plans for Old Jean though, because

405
00:27:18,559 --> 00:27:22,680
his ships were struck by what was
likely a hurricane. Let's go, how

406
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,599
did were they not close enough that
they both got hit by the hurricane?

407
00:27:25,599 --> 00:27:27,799
How does only one side get hit
by or it was like a tropical depression

408
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:32,319
or something. Well, they were
going up from I guess when they're coming

409
00:27:32,319 --> 00:27:36,839
out of the inlet, they look, you don't need I don't know,

410
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,920
rob one side had God the other
day, right, so God, you

411
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:42,680
know, hit him with a quick
hurricane. I buy it, Yes,

412
00:27:42,799 --> 00:27:47,839
yes, yes. The French force
because of the storm, was lost at

413
00:27:47,839 --> 00:27:52,599
sea, leaving Jean and several hundred
survivors and two groups shipwrecked with limited food

414
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:56,759
and supplies. One group was about
fifty miles south of the Spanish colony in

415
00:27:56,839 --> 00:28:02,240
the space now known as the Matanzas
Inlet, and Jean's group was much farther

416
00:28:02,319 --> 00:28:07,400
southward at Cape Canaveral, which is
pretty significantly south Andedda's quickly moved to attack

417
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:11,240
the French party once he learned that
they were stuck just south on the shore

418
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:15,000
of the Mantanzas Inlet. And when
no food just little bitches is sitting there

419
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:18,039
just kind of stuck. It's never
a good sign when your army has no

420
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:22,799
food and no god, no food, no god, no ships, no

421
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:29,079
vitamin C. Yeah, scurvy's common
or pedro pedro. Menendez sent forty soldiers

422
00:28:29,079 --> 00:28:32,960
to scout the French position, he
himself with the chapelain some officers and twenty

423
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:37,400
soldiers rejoined the group at about midnight, so there's about sixty of them in

424
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:41,880
total. It really is funny that
a lot of these battles, battles are

425
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:47,640
just like brawls. Oh the French
wish this was a brawl, but it's

426
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:51,599
not, like, you know,
it's not like Waterloo or battles that are

427
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:56,000
happening in Europe at the time or
something where it's these Grand Armies is like

428
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,680
one hundred armed guys. Yeah,
it's it's a fight. It's a street

429
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:03,240
fight basically, but on ships,
ships land. They get on land,

430
00:29:03,319 --> 00:29:06,480
yeah, they sometimes on ships,
yeah yeah, but they can fight on

431
00:29:06,519 --> 00:29:08,440
the even still, that's like a
it's really like one on one, two

432
00:29:08,559 --> 00:29:11,720
on two maybe maybe depending on the
size. Yeah, that's fucking gnarly.

433
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:17,519
It's very firing cannons at each other, right, But it's like it's tight.

434
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:19,799
It's tight. It's not like the
Battle of Trafalgar where you've got these

435
00:29:19,799 --> 00:29:23,680
two or the Spanish Armada to be
more timely. Like, it's not like

436
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:29,559
that where these grand navies. It's
little little baby fights. One boat,

437
00:29:29,759 --> 00:29:33,599
yeah, two boat, a bunch
of dudes. Ancient boat fights are tight

438
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:37,359
because you just ram each other's and
then bored. Yeah yeah, and then

439
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:41,519
fight on the boat. Yeah.
That's actually the most fire. Arrows oh

440
00:29:41,599 --> 00:29:45,759
man, I was listening to a
book. Actually they found arrows from like

441
00:29:45,799 --> 00:29:52,000
they found a fossilized not fossilis I
guess old arrow artifact from like forty thousand

442
00:29:52,039 --> 00:29:56,079
years ago. That sounds fossilized to
me. Yeah, But they were like,

443
00:29:56,599 --> 00:30:02,119
yeah, yeah, this is insane, Like we've been using this ship.

444
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:06,599
It's crazy, like what we started
recording history like five thousand years ago

445
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:10,839
or something, yes, and forty
thousand years ago we were already using like

446
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:15,319
wheels and axles and shit, and
like, I mean, it's like,

447
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:18,480
how the majority of our two hundred
three hundred thousand year history is fucking The

448
00:30:18,519 --> 00:30:23,000
craziest had to be when they used
Greek fire and essentially just little grenades that

449
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:26,880
they launched other shit. Oh,
just pots full of unput outable fire and

450
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:30,240
you have to be close knough palm
to throw at the other ship, so

451
00:30:30,319 --> 00:30:33,599
you're gonna probably catch a little.
You don't want to somebody yourself. Yeah,

452
00:30:33,799 --> 00:30:37,319
yeah, somebody's dropping one for sure. It's gotta be rough. Be

453
00:30:37,359 --> 00:30:41,160
so mad at that guy. You
can't be good. Can't be good.

454
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:42,599
But I mean no, we've been. It's really interesting. Like nothing like

455
00:30:42,759 --> 00:30:49,440
burning alive in the sea while you're
drowning. It's like this scene and Arrested

456
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:53,440
Development where Tobias can't fall into the
pool while he's on fire because there's the

457
00:30:53,519 --> 00:30:59,279
invisible walkway and job was using for
a magic trick. I've never laughed harder

458
00:30:59,319 --> 00:31:02,680
at anything on to levision. Maybe
it's just like on Fired, he's like,

459
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:06,319
why am I not sinking? For
the love of God, why am

460
00:31:06,319 --> 00:31:11,759
I not sinking? Uh? Well, Pedro Menendez Uh pushed forward to the

461
00:31:11,759 --> 00:31:17,599
sight of the opposite of the French
encampment the following morning. Having concealed his

462
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:19,920
men in the thicket, Menendez dressed
himself in a French costume with a cape

463
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:25,640
over his shoulder, and Uh popped
out and showed himself on the river bank,

464
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:30,039
accompanied by one of the French prisoners
he had taken from Fort Caroline.

465
00:31:30,599 --> 00:31:34,519
Oh no, using he did this
in order to convince the castaways by his

466
00:31:34,559 --> 00:31:40,160
boldness that he was well supported.
Okay, So the frenchman sent one of

467
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:42,920
their men to swim over to where
he was standing, and kind of once

468
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:48,559
he realized what the situation was,
he threw himself at his feet and explained

469
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:52,480
that they were just French guys.
They were just not trying to fight.

470
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:56,400
And he begged me, We're just
frenchmen. We're just French. We're not

471
00:31:56,440 --> 00:32:00,960
trying to we're not at war with
Spain. There's one line and when on

472
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:06,480
Leidon want, that's essentially what he
said. He's like, dude, we're

473
00:32:06,559 --> 00:32:09,839
just here. Man like, don't
worry about it. He asked Menende so

474
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:15,039
to grant him and his comrades a
safe transport to Fort Caroline, as they

475
00:32:15,039 --> 00:32:22,200
were not at war with Spaniards.
Menendez's answer was pretty short. He's like,

476
00:32:22,279 --> 00:32:25,279
oh, Fort Caroline, Yeah,
we've taken your fort and killed all

477
00:32:25,279 --> 00:32:30,240
the people in it, so so
war now, Yeah, you're at war

478
00:32:30,279 --> 00:32:35,079
with me? Yea And a letter
from Menendez to King Philip the Second of

479
00:32:35,119 --> 00:32:39,920
Spain. He did this quote because
they had built it there without your permission,

480
00:32:40,039 --> 00:32:45,599
and we're disseminating the Lutheran religion and
these your Majesty's provinces, that I,

481
00:32:45,799 --> 00:32:49,200
as Captain General of these provinces,
was waging a war of fire and

482
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:52,559
blood against all who came to settle
these parts and plant them with their evil

483
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:57,599
Lutheran sect. I mean people don't
realize this, but legally, war is

484
00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:00,240
a single consent affair. Yeah.
No, one's like they don't have a

485
00:33:00,279 --> 00:33:05,160
pre war meeting where they're like war
war. I think it's I think it's

486
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:07,640
gonna be war. I think.
So it doesn't agree to it if the

487
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:12,160
other side is still all about it. Wars on, Yeah, wars on.

488
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:15,160
It'd be funny if a Pearl harbor
got bombed in America. Was just

489
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:20,079
like, no, not today,
No, you call that war. That

490
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,759
is kind of what we kept doing
with the Germans when they sunk our ships

491
00:33:22,759 --> 00:33:27,839
in World War One and World War
Two. But we were just like actually,

492
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:31,119
honestly, both Wilson and FDR were
probably more like not big enough,

493
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:35,039
not enough people died. Yeah,
but if you really want to get to

494
00:33:35,079 --> 00:33:38,559
somebody, you really want to get
at them, just ignore them, Yeah,

495
00:33:38,599 --> 00:33:43,640
they want a reaction. Yeah,
that's why they did it. That's

496
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:47,680
why they asked Mexico to do it
too. Everyone forgets about that. Man,

497
00:33:47,759 --> 00:33:52,799
This Differment Telegram is so funny because
Mexico had no capability of doing that.

498
00:33:52,799 --> 00:33:54,759
Way fucking kidding. Yeah, he
joined us, and you'll get all

499
00:33:54,799 --> 00:33:59,400
your territory back from America. Like
you're gonna come over here and get them

500
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:01,400
you won't. Yeah, yeah,
it's like you know how that goes,

501
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:05,839
right, don't do that. That
was a false flag. It could have

502
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:08,159
been. I don't hate that conspiracy
theory. I think we sent it to

503
00:34:08,199 --> 00:34:13,119
ourselves, or we sent it to
Mexico as Germany. Yeah, we captured

504
00:34:13,119 --> 00:34:17,639
Wilson really wanted to get into the
war. Yeah, he really wanted to

505
00:34:17,639 --> 00:34:21,320
get in before he stroked out.
I could also see, yeah, I

506
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:27,159
could also see, uh, the
Lucitania being not like a well maybe a

507
00:34:27,199 --> 00:34:30,079
false flag. Sure, right,
A British subs sinks it. Oh we're

508
00:34:30,119 --> 00:34:32,880
so good at him, We're so
good at false flags. We've been doing

509
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:36,360
it. Why not. I'm not
saying that's what happened. I'm just saying

510
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:37,599
why not. No, I'm saying
that. Yeah, I'm saying that nine

511
00:34:37,639 --> 00:34:42,960
to eleven was one two. Uh, you just got to monetize again,

512
00:34:43,119 --> 00:34:47,639
what's up unmonetize ourselves? Yay,
No, I think we got unmonetized last

513
00:34:47,679 --> 00:34:52,239
episode because we talked about booshe fucking
and banana Oh he went to that.

514
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:55,920
Well, huh, Well, I
asked about it within in the first three

515
00:34:55,960 --> 00:35:00,519
minutes, so I think as long
as you avoid it within five minutes,

516
00:35:00,559 --> 00:35:02,199
we're good. Yeah, okay,
good job. We have like a five

517
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:07,639
o'clock, hits five. You can
start talking about raping banana peels. Granted,

518
00:35:07,679 --> 00:35:09,440
I did talk about stomping my shit
down, so I don't know if

519
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:14,760
that's gonna well, you know what, but you you've said family because of

520
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:17,679
the illness, so they're gonna be
they're being ablest if they modetize us for

521
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:25,039
that. After Meninda's had convinced the
French, because they at first didn't believe

522
00:35:25,079 --> 00:35:29,239
them. They were like, no, you just have this random French guy.

523
00:35:29,519 --> 00:35:31,440
Yeah, you don't have fort Caroline. You didn't take that shit.

524
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:34,960
You just can't. You just found
a random guy. Yeah. He showed

525
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:37,320
them some of the spoil he had
taken and some of the prisoners he had

526
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:38,880
spared, so he brought a couple
more out just to be like, no,

527
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:43,199
they killed everyone. Yeah. This
guy's like, oh, okay,

528
00:35:44,039 --> 00:35:45,840
we get it. You're not gonna
take us back there. How about you

529
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:49,559
just let us take our ship out
back to France. The next one that

530
00:35:49,599 --> 00:35:52,559
comes, we'll get on it,
we'll go, And then is replied that

531
00:35:52,639 --> 00:35:57,880
he would willingly have given them one
had they been Catholics, but sorry,

532
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:00,559
all my boats be doing other royal
span of shit right now, and you're

533
00:36:00,559 --> 00:36:07,159
not Catholic, so looks like you're
out of luck. We're and you know,

534
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:10,920
it's like Catholic from a different country. It's like, you know,

535
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,199
it's like being It's like a fraternity
from a different university, you know what

536
00:36:15,199 --> 00:36:16,840
I mean. It's like sure,
sure, like you might you might be

537
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:21,920
from my rival school, but you're
in my house so that's fine. No,

538
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:24,719
No, we're gonna fight later.
Yeah. Yeah. Again, he

539
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:29,199
was like, how about you let
the next friendship take us, like I

540
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:30,679
said, and you don't have to
give us any ships to give us safe

541
00:36:30,679 --> 00:36:34,159
passage. And he's like, I
don't know what. You don't get here.

542
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:37,199
No I'm not doing that. I'm
gonna leave you to die, you

543
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:40,360
bitches, to all their requests.
He replied with a demand to surrender their

544
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:45,639
arms and place themselves at his mercy
so that he could do quote as our

545
00:36:45,679 --> 00:36:52,159
Lord may command me, which,
knowing the Spaniards right, the Lord commanded

546
00:36:52,199 --> 00:36:57,639
them to do some stuff which no
judgment. Lord, it's weird, but

547
00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:02,119
he really wanted the Spaniards snarly maame
people constantly. Yeah yeah, The Lord

548
00:37:02,159 --> 00:37:06,599
says, your foot's gotta go.
He regrets giving it to you. He

549
00:37:06,679 --> 00:37:13,400
really was sad about that. It
is his divine vision to murder frenchmen in

550
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:17,559
the ocean called free will. Baby, that's true. The gentleman carried back

551
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:22,719
to their comrades the terms he had
been proposed, and two hours later the

552
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:27,679
lieutenant returned and offered to surrender their
arms and to give him five thousand ducts

553
00:37:28,639 --> 00:37:31,760
if he would spare their lives,
which, to Wichmond and Is replied,

554
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:37,400
that's some was large enough for a
poor soldier such as myself. But when

555
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:42,440
generosi and mercy are to be shown, they should be actuated by no such

556
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:46,719
self interest, which is essentially the
Times way of saying, I'm not being

557
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:51,320
bought out from doing this, man, I'm doing God's work. I'm in

558
00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:53,480
I'm all all right. Yeah.
Also, I kill you, I take

559
00:37:53,519 --> 00:37:57,079
your money, right right? What
do you not get about this? Like

560
00:37:57,119 --> 00:38:00,079
I just fucking burn down your fort, man, like I knocked your not

561
00:38:00,119 --> 00:38:06,280
burn it down. Gold. Yeah, yeah, we're gonna keep the gold.

562
00:38:06,599 --> 00:38:08,840
Yea God's gold. That's God's gold, that's King Phillip's gold. That's

563
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:13,320
gonna be a nice chalice. Yeah. Again. The envoy returned to his

564
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:16,480
companions, and in half an hour
came their acceptance of the ambiguous conditions because

565
00:38:16,519 --> 00:38:19,679
they realized, well, we don't
have any food, we don't need boats.

566
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:21,320
This guy's not gonna let us do
what we want. I guess we

567
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:24,159
have to do what he says,
the friends of the fucking New World.

568
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:28,559
There is no rules. No one's
gonna stop you from doing anything. No,

569
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,960
you do have to report back though, and get thrown in jail for

570
00:38:32,039 --> 00:38:36,760
being too big of a dick.
Hold Indians here, because man, they

571
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:42,039
really adopted a lot of his stuff. Like he went back. Yeah,

572
00:38:42,119 --> 00:38:45,599
the keys did not go back.
Yeah, just stay or go somewhere else,

573
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:49,719
or go to a new island around
the world, do Magellan, you

574
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:54,239
gotta be just don't go to the
Philippines. Marlon Brando and uh apocalypse.

575
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:58,360
Now you just got to make your
own little kingdom in the jungle. Yeah,

576
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:00,199
it's it's a heart of darkness.
Yeah, you just go deeper and

577
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:04,920
deeper in it. Yes, right, Yeah. The Frenchmen for centover a

578
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:08,239
boat with their banners, their pistols, their swords, and some helmets and

579
00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:13,679
breast pieces. Then twenty Spaniards crossed
in the boat and brought them now unarmed

580
00:39:13,679 --> 00:39:19,320
Frenchmen over the lagoon that's in between
the coasts of the inlet. He brought

581
00:39:19,559 --> 00:39:22,960
everyone over in parties of ten.
Like I said, I think there was

582
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:27,960
like about I think there's like just
around one hundred or so folks. They

583
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:32,960
were subjected to no ill treatment when
they were ferried over. This was to

584
00:39:34,519 --> 00:39:36,920
the boat over well yeah, this
was to not let them know about the

585
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:40,400
horrors that lay ahead. Okay.
They were brought in what is probably the

586
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:45,119
most obvious bait and switch ever,
from like we're not gonna arge you on

587
00:39:45,159 --> 00:39:50,320
the boat. They were brought from
shore where they landed on the other side,

588
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:52,800
to the rear of a sand dune, out of sight from the rest

589
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:57,800
of their comrades, where Menendez was
concealed from view of prisoners who were crossing

590
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:00,719
in the boat. So Menendez is
waiting behind the sand dune. To each

591
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:07,039
party, Menendez addressed the same request, gentlemen, but a few soldiers with

592
00:40:07,079 --> 00:40:09,239
me, and you got so many, got like one hundred. It'd be

593
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:13,679
an easy thing for you to do
to overpower us and avenge yourselves upon us,

594
00:40:14,599 --> 00:40:16,119
because we took your fort and killed
all those people. So for this

595
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:21,880
reason, it's necessary that you should
march to my camp four leagues from here

596
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:24,440
with their hands tied behind your back, so you don't try to overpower us.

597
00:40:24,519 --> 00:40:28,760
That's why we're bringing you over intents
and what the French guys were like,

598
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,239
okay, uh yeah, that's exactly
what I said. They're like,

599
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:35,480
that makes sense. Yeah, I
would try to kill you for sure.

600
00:40:35,559 --> 00:40:38,039
Yeah, I want to kill you. Yeah. Yeah. They're unarmed and

601
00:40:38,039 --> 00:40:43,079
they couldn't offer any resistance, so
their hands were bound behind them with cords

602
00:40:43,079 --> 00:40:45,079
taken from the very arms they had
surrendered, so they were like shit wrapped

603
00:40:45,079 --> 00:40:47,599
around their swords and stuff like that. They got bound with their own weapons.

604
00:40:47,599 --> 00:40:52,920
Okay, weapon fabric, which is
just gotta be a humiliating feeling.

605
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:57,320
That ideal. Yeah, at the
distance of a gunshot from the dune.

606
00:40:57,559 --> 00:41:02,079
Medendez had drawn a line in the
sand with a spear across the path they

607
00:41:02,079 --> 00:41:07,360
were supposed to follow to the wherever
they were came across the line, and

608
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,239
then bad things happened. Then he
ordered the captain of the van guar I

609
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:12,400
literally drew a line in the sand. Drew a line in the sand.

610
00:41:13,559 --> 00:41:15,360
Then he ordered the captain in the
vanguard, which escorted the prisoners that on

611
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:19,920
reaching the line in the sand,
he was to cut off the heads of

612
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:22,719
all of them. He also commanded
the captain of the rear guard to do

613
00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:28,239
the same. So over one hundred
men were brought in parties of ten,

614
00:41:28,639 --> 00:41:31,519
and one by one were beheaded and
stacked just out of sight from the next

615
00:41:31,559 --> 00:41:39,000
incoming party. Perfect. It was
Saturday, twenty ninth of September fifteen sixty

616
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:43,440
five, the Feast of Saint Michael, when this happened. It's always it's

617
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:45,800
always good to do it on a
feast day, which is actually every day

618
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:49,119
of the year. Really, yeah, it's every other every other day.

619
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:51,559
There's like one hundred and eighty of
them, like, ah, this will

620
00:41:51,599 --> 00:41:54,480
be a glorious feast of Saint Michael. Yeah, it's our version of sacrifice.

621
00:41:55,079 --> 00:42:01,159
What is there's one of the things
amous Shakespearean speeches, the one where

622
00:42:01,199 --> 00:42:05,920
the term band of brothers comes from. I think they're fighting on Saint Crispin's

623
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:09,199
day. Who's Saint Crispin? Don't
worry about who Saint Chrispin is. He's

624
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:14,440
the he's the patron scene of breakfast
Cereal. Yeah, he's an elf.

625
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:21,480
He lives in a tree. But
yeah, so, uh, the massacre

626
00:42:21,519 --> 00:42:24,320
had started around noon and they wrapped
up by sunset. So do anything fun

627
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:29,679
and flirty like Burry Guy in the
sand? Or did I did they?

628
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:31,559
Oh? No, they just left
those bodies the stack. Why the fuck

629
00:42:31,559 --> 00:42:37,400
would I ask you if you left
someone to die? And for digging a

630
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:40,239
hole in the beach. The Battle
of Agincourt took place on Saint Crispin's Day,

631
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:45,239
and it's in Henry the Fifth,
Shakespeare's Saint Crispin's Day. I don't

632
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:52,199
care. Yeah. Meanwhile, there's
another group that got lost. This was

633
00:42:52,199 --> 00:42:55,760
only the first group of the Frenchmen
that they were massacrering on this day.

634
00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:00,760
Genre Ball, who was farther down
on shore with two hundred men, was

635
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:06,079
also kind of fucked. It was
going on over there. Yeah, I

636
00:43:06,079 --> 00:43:08,760
think we should check it out.
Like the first party, their only hope

637
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:13,079
lay in a return to Fort Caroline, which he was unaware had been taken

638
00:43:13,119 --> 00:43:15,719
by the Spaniards. I heard a
lot of screaming got out of there.

639
00:43:16,159 --> 00:43:21,719
Well, these guys were completely like
they were miles away from this massacre going

640
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:25,079
on. They had shipwrecked for their
south near Cape Canaverl. The only thing

641
00:43:25,159 --> 00:43:30,360
they had saved was a small boat
from their wreck. This was calked with

642
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:34,480
their shirts, and thirteen of the
company had set for Fort Caroline in search

643
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:39,519
of assistance, hadn't returned because they
were probably killed Fort Caroline. Stuff happened

644
00:43:39,559 --> 00:43:44,239
to them. Yeah, I bet
some crabs feasted. Oh, crabs definitely

645
00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:46,559
feasted. Do you know the stone
crab? You know stone crab? You

646
00:43:46,599 --> 00:43:52,840
know their little claws have the pressure
of twenty one tons of snap force.

647
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:58,679
You say that, and I don't
really comprehend what that means. It's almost

648
00:43:58,679 --> 00:44:01,519
incomprehensible how much force that is,
Like it could cut your finger off cleanly.

649
00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:06,760
Sure. Yeah, as we're ball
in his companion, they had they

650
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:09,599
decided they had to march. They
never had another boat come back or anything,

651
00:44:09,639 --> 00:44:13,880
so they had to march which you
can. You can march up this

652
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:17,199
very long sandbar. Uh. They
marched the way northward in the direction of

653
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:22,519
the fort. They eventually found themselves
guess where, cut off by them a

654
00:44:22,639 --> 00:44:30,360
Tanzas inlet where the Spaniards were.
Oh and all the bodies. They didn't

655
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:34,039
see that, okay, yeah,
same spots. So bodies are behind a

656
00:44:34,159 --> 00:44:37,159
sand dune. Yeah, yeah they
don't. I mean they're probably like,

657
00:44:37,199 --> 00:44:39,679
man, it stinks over here.
Yeah, it's the ocean, like a

658
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:44,840
bunch of fish just died. Yeah. At the side of the Spaniards,

659
00:44:45,519 --> 00:44:49,320
they saw the Spaniards over on the
other side. The French displayed their banners,

660
00:44:50,119 --> 00:44:54,039
sounded their fifes and drums, and
offered them battle. But Menendez just

661
00:44:54,079 --> 00:44:57,760
looked over and basically shrugged it off. He's like, what, No,

662
00:44:58,519 --> 00:45:00,840
I'm not doing that. I'm not
gonna over there. Yeah, I'm not

663
00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:02,519
coming over you come over here.
He ordered his men to all just start

664
00:45:02,599 --> 00:45:07,360
eating breakfast. So they set up
shop and just started eating breakfast while the

665
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,239
French are like play, Yeah,
they're just just eat boys. We want

666
00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:15,039
to be on defense. Yeah.
So he turned to walk up and down

667
00:45:15,079 --> 00:45:16,760
the shore with his two captains in
full sight of the French, which the

668
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:21,199
French were like, what the fuck
whipped out? His dick started, helicopter

669
00:45:21,159 --> 00:45:24,440
took and piss right in the ocean, called a halt and sounded a trumpet

670
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:29,199
call, and then displayed a white
flag, which weird fucking move, like,

671
00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:32,119
let's fight all right, never mind, I surrender. The French pulled

672
00:45:32,159 --> 00:45:37,320
out the white flag. Yes,
of course, very fresh man. I

673
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:39,519
live up to the stereotype so hard. My wife's giving me ship the other

674
00:45:39,559 --> 00:45:43,199
day. So I'm like a very
fast eater, right. I grew up

675
00:45:43,199 --> 00:45:46,519
in a family. They have three
siblings, two of them are boys.

676
00:45:46,559 --> 00:45:49,840
Type of thing where like you know, if you there's a good dinner on

677
00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:51,760
the table, Like at dinner,
everyone will you gotta eat fast to get

678
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:53,480
second fucking halo if you want to
get second through it, like a pizza.

679
00:45:53,519 --> 00:45:57,480
There's pizza. You didn't even stand
out fast. You have to eat

680
00:45:57,480 --> 00:46:00,800
to get seconds on pizza. So
it's kind of stuck with me. You

681
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:05,280
had a very home alone upbringing.
Yes, Uh, that kind of stuck

682
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:08,960
with me for life. And uh, you're not a fucking refugee and a

683
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:15,519
FEMA camp. It doesn't matter.
There's only so much of the like good

684
00:46:15,559 --> 00:46:17,320
dinner. And also, by the
way, you don't know how many good

685
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:23,679
dinners you get because when your mother
is Irish Catholic, which western is Midwestern

686
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:29,800
not Midwest, they don't they don't
cook so good. Okay, one time

687
00:46:29,800 --> 00:46:32,039
my mom cooked a whole chicken.
This is like fucking two years ago,

688
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:36,599
cooked a whole chicken and I pulled
it out. Now she pulled out and

689
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:38,119
was like, okay, dinner.
And I was like, this chicken looks

690
00:46:38,119 --> 00:46:40,079
weird. And I cut into it
and it was still like raw in the

691
00:46:40,079 --> 00:46:43,519
middle. I was like, Wow, this chicken isn't fucking cooked. And

692
00:46:43,559 --> 00:46:46,840
then she's like to Courtney, She's
like, he is just so particular like

693
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:51,639
that, like, what the are
you talking about? Your chicken medium rare?

694
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:54,079
I know? So well, at
least he married somebody that can't cook.

695
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:59,639
Yes, she actually is a good
cook. Okay, I agree,

696
00:46:59,679 --> 00:47:04,079
though Irish Catholic moms probably can't cook
that so good, No very much,

697
00:47:04,239 --> 00:47:09,000
my mom. Last time I went
home, just nuked some awesome tomahawk steaks,

698
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:14,679
just really just grilled the fuck out
of them, like overcook them.

699
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:19,400
Yeah, okay, yeah, just
like charred the fuck out of them.

700
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:23,039
They were so well done tomahawk,
good piece of steak, and put some

701
00:47:23,119 --> 00:47:27,199
ketchup on it. At that point, you could I threw them out.

702
00:47:27,039 --> 00:47:29,440
All you can do the best thing
you can do at that point is get

703
00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:30,840
a tortilla and try to like,
no, I could taco out of it.

704
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:34,320
I ate it. I mean you
can still eat it. It's probably

705
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:37,880
still still really good, tasted good. Yeah, but it's a fucking tomahawk,

706
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:39,400
but goddamn not as good as it
could have. But there was so

707
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:43,920
much potential. She was like making
fun of me for eating fast, and

708
00:47:44,079 --> 00:47:46,480
she was like she lived in France
for a summer or something like that.

709
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:51,920
She was like, French people would
just be disgusted by how you eat.

710
00:47:52,199 --> 00:47:54,039
I was like, well, I
eat fast. They surrender fast. Everyone

711
00:47:54,079 --> 00:47:58,360
does some stuff fast. Well,
the French are also, They're gonna sit

712
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:01,719
at a cafe all day. Rob
beats the French fast. The French surrender

713
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:05,960
fast. I come fast. Some
people just do stuff fast, right,

714
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:07,519
I do lost, I come fast. I also don't think Europe has it

715
00:48:07,599 --> 00:48:15,280
wrong with what their day to day
chill. You know, why do you

716
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:20,280
know why? I don't care.
I don't care what their economy is like.

717
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:23,119
It doesn't mean anything to me.
It's not even that. It's because

718
00:48:23,519 --> 00:48:28,159
for the longest time they weren't chilling. Their quality of life is so good.

719
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:34,559
We need war. They've know they've
shifted. It's Daddy is here and

720
00:48:34,599 --> 00:48:37,599
we take care of everything so that
there used to be daddy. They're being

721
00:48:37,639 --> 00:48:43,920
an empire. Sucks, it's awful. You want to be a protectorate a

722
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:46,079
former empire. Can't we get to
Italy? You want to be retired?

723
00:48:47,159 --> 00:48:53,000
Europe is basically an American protectorate the
entirety of Europe. So so what what's

724
00:48:53,039 --> 00:48:57,480
your point, dude? Day to
day? How much does that affect?

725
00:48:57,519 --> 00:49:00,519
Why? Who's gonna take care of
daddy? Who takes care of daddy?

726
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:04,079
Daddy needs a break when daddy ain't
ever getting paid back, you know,

727
00:49:04,199 --> 00:49:07,920
daddy's never Daddy needs a neck massage, Daddy's never. Daddy's grinded. But

728
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:13,320
guess what being a parent is a
thankless job. Oh god, we're that

729
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:16,159
parent. No, we're the we're
actually we're assholes. We're like, you

730
00:49:16,199 --> 00:49:21,480
don't even pay for in this house. And then like this is the wrong

731
00:49:21,519 --> 00:49:28,079
analogy, where about like sixteen,
Yeah, this is the wrong analogy.

732
00:49:28,119 --> 00:49:32,000
We're the child, they're the grandparents
at this point. Yeah, and we

733
00:49:32,039 --> 00:49:37,199
put them in a home they are
they're a fucking nursing home and we're fucking

734
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:40,039
paying. Please don't put me in
the room with the schizophrenic Eastern European man.

735
00:49:40,159 --> 00:49:43,360
Yeah. Sorry, man, that's
the only room we can afford.

736
00:49:43,639 --> 00:49:46,760
You gotta live there. But they're
getting freaky like all old people in retirement

737
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:50,960
homes. Yeah, I think we
I think we landed this plane. I

738
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:53,199
think we got there. Yeah,
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739
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764
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765
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766
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769
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770
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772
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773
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type of workouts you want to do, like say you want to be more

774
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cardio focused or more weight focused whatever. Fitbod again, it's like having a

775
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personal trainer in your pocket. It
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776
00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:24,039
the shape you want. What's really
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777
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like I mean for cardio and for
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778
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have over a thousand videos to show
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779
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recommend to you properly. They keep
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780
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like if you you know, this
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781
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get really really intricate with it.
But you know, if one day's leg

782
00:52:43,639 --> 00:52:45,199
day, they'll they'll give your legs
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783
00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:49,320
you know, you work biiceps right
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784
00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:51,920
it's just a very smart app I
mean, like if you're working with the

785
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trainer, you got to just trust
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786
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:59,519
you knows what he's talking about.
With fitbod, he can change it up

787
00:52:59,519 --> 00:53:01,480
on a whim. You can,
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788
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:05,760
it's not gonna overwork you or like
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789
00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:07,800
nice in balance so you're not walking
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790
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like your your progress too, or
what your progress should be, so you

791
00:53:12,159 --> 00:53:14,599
can kind of have it. I
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792
00:53:14,639 --> 00:53:16,239
think for a lot of people it's
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793
00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:19,920
look at and see like, oh, I've done this much for this thing

794
00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:22,079
and this is the progress I've made. Like, that's awesome as opposed to

795
00:53:22,119 --> 00:53:24,519
just being like, Okay, I
hope this is working. Yeah, I

796
00:53:24,559 --> 00:53:30,320
mean like I hope Jeff with his
cool shoes is getting me buff. Yeah,

797
00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:31,880
I don't know, he looks buff. I don't know. I trust

798
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:34,480
him, I guess. And by
the way, I keep saying, this

799
00:53:34,519 --> 00:53:37,199
is like having a personal trainer in
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800
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:40,880
one thing. Uh, it's it's
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801
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trainer. You work out anywhere with
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802
00:53:45,519 --> 00:53:47,800
Like I said, it's easy to
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803
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:51,760
you. I love using it.
I'm more of a cardio guy. Jake

804
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:55,000
works out at home with his equipment
that he has there. Yes, and

805
00:53:55,079 --> 00:53:59,559
obviously Dan takes it to his big
fancy Jim where he does. So you've

806
00:53:59,559 --> 00:54:01,639
got three totally different people who all
three of us use the app. It's

807
00:54:01,679 --> 00:54:05,800
awesome. We love it. I
mean, like I said, creates a

808
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personalized workout routine based on your goals. It adapts as you improve, so

809
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it will keep track of not just
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810
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progress, it knows like, Okay, this guy can live this much.

811
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Now, this guy can run this
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812
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Even more than that tracks your muscle
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tuned by experience certified personal trainers to
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814
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So this is you know, personal
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815
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said, a thousand demonstrate it's demonstration
videos more than that actually, so you're

816
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doing the workouts the right way.
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821
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826
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of these situations that do this,
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827
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it's like, oh fine, I
get to cook. I get to make

828
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my meals, but they set the
recipes and I just follow instructions. That's

829
00:55:27,719 --> 00:55:30,039
fine if you like that stuff.
However, most people are busy, right

830
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They want to eat that chef crafted
meal, but they don't want to be

831
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the chef because they got jobs and
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832
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That is. What Factor does it
doesn't. And then, by the

833
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way, you know, cooking's fun. I like cooking while of cooking,

834
00:55:44,519 --> 00:55:49,039
but there's a massive amount of cleanup
involved in that too. Factor has all

835
00:55:49,119 --> 00:55:52,440
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836
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837
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is just a basically a restaurant quality
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838
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in two minutes and it's good to
go, and it's never frozen. It

839
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doesn't arrive frozen. It is refrigerated. That's how fresh it is is.

840
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It was just made and said to
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841
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842
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read. When I got my first
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843
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I will eat this because it is
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844
00:56:22,199 --> 00:56:27,199
how good it was. So Rob
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845
00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:30,320
mom is an Irish Catholic mom.
So Factor is the way to go.

846
00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:35,519
Yes, Yes, if you are
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847
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get Factor right now and just be like,

848
00:56:40,079 --> 00:56:44,280
hey, sign up for this please, for the love of God,

849
00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:45,800
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850
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851
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but like that most people subscribe to. But dude, if you really

852
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All right, expect to it. So,

868
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:54,840
yeah, they threw up the white
flagman and I was like, oh,

869
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:58,599
we'll throw that up. Throw that
white flag up, boy, and

870
00:57:58,719 --> 00:58:01,920
a French sailor Sam, I'm over
to them. And there's so much swimming.

871
00:58:02,039 --> 00:58:05,639
There's a lot of swimming. It's
not that far of a swim fast

872
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:07,880
though, it's not that far of
a swim. But I mean, for

873
00:58:07,960 --> 00:58:09,960
me, I drowned and die,
but uh he returned immediately, bringing the

874
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:15,079
request that Ryeball send over someone authorized
to state what he wanted. The sailor

875
00:58:15,119 --> 00:58:19,159
returned again with a French gentleman who
announced that he was sergeant major. Oh

876
00:58:19,199 --> 00:58:21,280
so he didn't put up a white
flag. This y put a white flag.

877
00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:24,880
Be like he coms, we're sending
over. Yeah, you ride with

878
00:58:25,159 --> 00:58:29,360
you also ride with a white flag
to out to the middle of whatever.

879
00:58:29,599 --> 00:58:31,159
Yeah, it goes We're not killing
each other in this moment, right right.

880
00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:36,079
The sailor returned again with a French
gentleman who announced that he was Sergeant

881
00:58:36,159 --> 00:58:39,599
Major of genre Ball, Viceroy and
Captain General Florida for the King of France,

882
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:44,719
which pissed's the fuck off because it's
like, no, you're not.

883
00:58:45,199 --> 00:58:49,280
I'm in charge here. Yeah,
France don't own a goddamn answer this shit

884
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:52,039
hole. Yeah. So he returned
headless. No no, no, no,

885
00:58:52,039 --> 00:58:57,119
no no no. Uh. His
commander, he said his commitder had

886
00:58:57,119 --> 00:59:00,440
been wrecked on the coast of three
hundred and fifty of his people about two

887
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:04,360
hundred, and he had sent to
ask for boats with which to reach his

888
00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:12,079
fort and toquire if they were Spaniards
Menende said, get this, we are

889
00:59:12,239 --> 00:59:16,599
Spaniards. I to whom you are
speaking am the captain of the Spanish fleet.

890
00:59:16,639 --> 00:59:20,360
My name is Pedro Menendez. Tell
your general that I have captured your

891
00:59:20,360 --> 00:59:22,599
fort and killed your French there,
as well as those who had escaped from

892
00:59:22,639 --> 00:59:28,559
the wreck of your fleet that were
first here. Uh. Then he offered

893
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:31,960
Rebolt the same terms which he had
extended the first party that Rabow had no

894
00:59:32,039 --> 00:59:37,199
idea about, and led the French
officer to wear a few rods beyond lay

895
00:59:37,239 --> 00:59:39,639
the dead bodies of the shipwrecked and
defenseless men he had massacred. Just oh,

896
00:59:39,639 --> 00:59:43,039
he showed them the bodies. He
showed them the bodies. Okay,

897
00:59:43,679 --> 00:59:46,079
this is where I don't understand what
happened. This is the part where I'm

898
00:59:46,079 --> 00:59:52,880
like, you have all of the
information now right. When uh jeenre Bauld

899
00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:58,480
reviewed the heaped up corpses of his
friends, he asked Menendez to send a

900
00:59:58,519 --> 01:00:02,280
gentleman to Rebolt or I'm sorry.
When the frenchman observed that I jumped around

901
01:00:02,280 --> 01:00:06,079
a little bit and also might not
be his friends. He might hate some

902
01:00:06,119 --> 01:00:09,440
of the guys on the other ship. Yeah, in the afternoon about him.

903
01:00:10,599 --> 01:00:15,119
That guy was awful. He was
asking for him. He was good.

904
01:00:15,400 --> 01:00:16,760
I could have seen that guy that
was a skilled craftsman. You meant

905
01:00:16,800 --> 01:00:21,000
to kill him. I will mention
though, the Spaniards did spare everyone that

906
01:00:21,039 --> 01:00:23,039
claimed to be Catholic, and they
sent them to Saint Augustine to work forever.

907
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:29,199
Oh so slaves kind of they worked
the galleys on boats and shit like

908
01:00:29,239 --> 01:00:32,800
that. Yeah, boat slaves,
Yeah, Catholic boat slaves. Being a

909
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:39,559
boat slave, yeah, I think
so. So. Yeah, Ball,

910
01:00:39,599 --> 01:00:43,760
I'm sorry he didn't show him the
bodies first. He showed the frenchman that

911
01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:46,639
was relaying all this information to Rebel
the bodies, was like, tell him

912
01:00:46,639 --> 01:00:50,840
this, tell him to come over
them. Yeah. In the afternoon,

913
01:00:51,119 --> 01:00:54,039
genre Baul crossed over with eight gentlemen, was entertained by Bernendez. The French

914
01:00:54,079 --> 01:00:58,880
accepted some wine and preserves, because
of course they did, but they would

915
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:01,800
not take more, knowing the face
of their companions. Then Jean, yeah,

916
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:05,840
get drunk with you. I know
how you were a fucking rolled.

917
01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:07,920
We're not eating the food, man, We're not. Uh. Then Jehan,

918
01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:12,760
pointing to the bodies, asked again
for some ships to return to France.

919
01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:14,480
He's like, hey, maybe we
can just get out and go.

920
01:01:15,199 --> 01:01:19,800
We're Catholic. It was he Calolic
with generra Bo callik uh no, he

921
01:01:19,920 --> 01:01:24,559
was Protestant, so within like he
left kill him once, Menanda's like,

922
01:01:24,639 --> 01:01:28,639
I'm not giving you boats. Within
three hours he was back again. He

923
01:01:28,679 --> 01:01:31,880
offered one hundred thousand ducts on the
part of his companions to secur their lives,

924
01:01:32,599 --> 01:01:37,519
but Menendas gave him the set of
exchange right now one hundred thousand dukens

925
01:01:37,559 --> 01:01:39,840
a lot. Probably a lot,
I would imagine it's a lot. Actually

926
01:01:39,920 --> 01:01:44,039
it's shockingly it's it's only about one
hundred dollars. It's like it's like yen.

927
01:01:44,480 --> 01:01:46,000
Yeah. Yeah. When you're watching
like Physical one hundred and it's like

928
01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:51,239
three hundred million yon and you're like
what the fuck? And then it's like,

929
01:01:51,239 --> 01:01:54,280
oh, it's fifty seven thousand dollars. Yeah, really what? But

930
01:01:54,320 --> 01:02:00,639
it's like last week's episode, the
families of Unit six eighty four, they

931
01:02:00,719 --> 01:02:06,360
were awarded like six hundred million dollars
in Korean, it was like two hundred

932
01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:08,719
and fifty k Yeah. Yeah,
it's a couple of Walmart gift cards.

933
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:13,519
Yeah, three hundred million Korean is
I think like one hundred thousand dollars or

934
01:02:13,559 --> 01:02:17,159
something like, you know, something
like that. Split amongst all the families.

935
01:02:17,320 --> 01:02:21,280
Yeah. So once Reball was like, hey, I'll give you a

936
01:02:21,360 --> 01:02:25,480
hundred thousand, and it's just like
when it comes to generosity, this is

937
01:02:25,519 --> 01:02:30,440
not for me to decide with money. It's God's decision. Ex up to

938
01:02:30,519 --> 01:02:32,199
God. Yeah, so he was
not speaking through me, baby, he

939
01:02:32,280 --> 01:02:38,400
was not backing down. As the
evening was falling, John Agan withdrew across

940
01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:42,079
the un saying he would bring his
finals to the decision in the morning.

941
01:02:42,559 --> 01:02:45,159
When the morning came, Reball returned
with six of his captains and surrendered his

942
01:02:45,199 --> 01:02:51,760
own person down arms. Do you
think you've inspired Tom Petty's won't back down

943
01:02:54,159 --> 01:02:59,519
Florida's own back The French were just
backing down the entire time. Yeah,

944
01:02:59,599 --> 01:03:05,239
like maybe it'll go different for us, unlike those idiots. Yeah, they

945
01:03:05,519 --> 01:03:10,119
got a little they're trying to take
charges and pick up basketball. Yeah.

946
01:03:10,320 --> 01:03:15,400
Also just like fuck man, just
they can't attack eat right. These Spanish

947
01:03:15,480 --> 01:03:19,480
can't project force currently right, No, they can't. They have one hundred

948
01:03:19,480 --> 01:03:22,440
and fifty men at this time because
this is twelve day. The second group

949
01:03:22,519 --> 01:03:27,079
showed up twelve days later and they
had brought in reinforcements exactly, so they

950
01:03:27,079 --> 01:03:30,760
had one hundred and fifty people there, but genre Baul had two hundred,

951
01:03:31,079 --> 01:03:35,920
so the Spanish cannot project force on
them. No, they well they when

952
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:37,239
they were taking breakfast. I forgot
to mention this. They set up in

953
01:03:37,239 --> 01:03:39,599
a way that made it look like
they had a lot more people the Spanish.

954
01:03:39,599 --> 01:03:42,880
It yeah, OK, so it
looked a lot more evenly matched the

955
01:03:43,880 --> 01:03:47,079
food. Well, the French shouldn'
neat the food. They just got drunk

956
01:03:47,079 --> 01:03:50,639
and they were seeing double They're like, oh my god, this must be

957
01:03:53,960 --> 01:04:00,559
Yeah. So when Rebol went over
before they finally accepted the terms, like

958
01:04:00,599 --> 01:04:03,119
seventy or eighty dudes of his two
hundred were like, fuck you yeah,

959
01:04:03,159 --> 01:04:06,840
there's bodies over there, right,
And they tried to kill a couple people,

960
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:10,960
like they tried to revolt in that
Uni. Yeah yeah, fuck yeah,

961
01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:14,440
And that got kind of snuffed out
and they all just ran into the

962
01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:17,639
woods. Yeah yeah, So there's
about one hundred and forty one hundred and

963
01:04:17,679 --> 01:04:26,079
fifty people left overall. They decided
to surrender, though, and Menendez then

964
01:04:26,159 --> 01:04:30,000
turned over genre Ble to Menendez's brother
in law, Gonzolo Solely de Maris,

965
01:04:30,559 --> 01:04:35,239
and to Captain Juan da San Vicente, with directions to kill him to kill

966
01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:39,639
re Ball, to kill Reball,
of course. Yeah. Rebol was wearing

967
01:04:39,639 --> 01:04:45,159
a felt hat and the guy,
the captain, Juan de Son Vicente,

968
01:04:45,360 --> 01:04:47,519
was like, hey, give me
that hat. I want your hat,

969
01:04:48,280 --> 01:04:53,719
which genre Ball is like, all
right, here you go. And then

970
01:04:54,079 --> 01:04:57,159
the Spaniard said, you know,
captains must obey their generals and execute their

971
01:04:57,199 --> 01:05:00,960
commands. We must find your hands. Okay, yeah, that makes sense.

972
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:03,239
That's because he greeted the terms of
we just have to keep you right,

973
01:05:03,480 --> 01:05:08,360
tie you up right, which I
guess they didn't know the circumstance of

974
01:05:08,360 --> 01:05:11,119
the first massacre. Obviously, they
weren't there. That they did. They

975
01:05:11,159 --> 01:05:13,960
knew that people had died, they
didn't know that they were falling for the

976
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:18,719
same exact trick. When this had
been done and the three had proceeded a

977
01:05:18,719 --> 01:05:21,800
little distance along the way, Vicente
gave him a blow in the stomach with

978
01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:26,840
his dagger, and then Maris thrust
him through the breast with a pike,

979
01:05:27,800 --> 01:05:30,800
and then they cut off his head
as his men in groups of ten were

980
01:05:30,800 --> 01:05:35,679
beheaded behind the sand dunes. I
mean, good lord, one by one,

981
01:05:36,320 --> 01:05:40,960
groups of ten were beheaded behind the
sand dunes. So we're talking at

982
01:05:40,960 --> 01:05:44,440
this point, I mean are there
blades even sharp enough? I can't imagine

983
01:05:44,480 --> 01:05:46,480
they are, but you know,
so at this point they've killed about two

984
01:05:46,559 --> 01:05:49,559
hundred and fifty to three hundred frenchmen
one by one behind a sand dude.

985
01:05:49,639 --> 01:05:55,039
Yeah, but this guy's a system
captain. He's got the same move.

986
01:05:55,079 --> 01:05:57,920
He does it over and over.
He's has the air raid of massacres.

987
01:05:58,519 --> 01:06:00,880
It's just like spread them out wide, spread them out, going for the

988
01:06:00,920 --> 01:06:05,239
kilt inflated stats. Once somebody figures
it out, it's like the Wildcat for

989
01:06:05,280 --> 01:06:08,760
the first couple of years. Yeah, yeah, Oh, they're going to

990
01:06:08,880 --> 01:06:12,519
run the ball Darren McFadden in the
Wildcat when they first started running that ship.

991
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:15,599
Oh, what's gonna happen? They
run the ball, Darren mcatten's run

992
01:06:15,639 --> 01:06:17,079
to get it. Yeah, they
don't. They don't throw or Felix Jones

993
01:06:17,280 --> 01:06:20,800
in another spot, all right,
I believe Peyton Hill. It's also or

994
01:06:20,960 --> 01:06:26,840
mainly I'm talking mainly about the Dolphins
when they implemented it in the NFL.

995
01:06:26,920 --> 01:06:31,960
Oh yeah, just unstoppable. It
was crazy. But yeah, Ever since

996
01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:35,039
the twelfth of October fifteen sixty five, when genre ball and the larger part

997
01:06:35,039 --> 01:06:40,480
of the French Huguenots who had survived
the wreck were massacred by Menendez. The

998
01:06:40,480 --> 01:06:44,800
inlet where the deed occurred has been
known as matanzas again, meaning slaughters in

999
01:06:44,840 --> 01:06:48,239
Spanish. What was what was that? What are you doing with your hands?

1000
01:06:48,480 --> 01:06:51,199
I'm just saying talking to the microphone, was I not? Yeah?

1001
01:06:51,519 --> 01:06:57,760
You always side mike it well when
you read yeah, there you go again.

1002
01:06:57,760 --> 01:07:00,400
That means slaughters in Spanish and to
this day and that I didn't let

1003
01:07:00,400 --> 01:07:01,800
if you drive over there, it
is the most chill looking spot in the

1004
01:07:01,800 --> 01:07:04,360
world. Everyone's vacation home. Is
there? Very pretty place to die.

1005
01:07:04,559 --> 01:07:08,960
It's I would love to just knock
on someone's door there because I was there.

1006
01:07:09,039 --> 01:07:11,199
I was just like, oh,
these are beautiful homes and stuff like

1007
01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:14,480
that, and like, you know, three hundred men were beheaded like right

1008
01:07:14,480 --> 01:07:16,239
there. I bet you they do. It'd be funny if one house was

1009
01:07:16,320 --> 01:07:19,920
just haunted. Fuck. I was
gonna say, Like you ever think someone

1010
01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:24,079
goes like to an Airbnb or like
vacation around They're like, man, the

1011
01:07:24,159 --> 01:07:28,239
vibes in here are fucking wird.
Yeah. Everyone, there's like a bunch

1012
01:07:28,320 --> 01:07:30,599
of endless ghosts and people screaming in
French every night. I feel like,

1013
01:07:30,679 --> 01:07:34,440
yeah, do you feel like you're
hearing three hundred Frenchman scream? Because I

1014
01:07:34,840 --> 01:07:42,400
do. It could be the my
dies talking. So some people thought Menndas

1015
01:07:43,280 --> 01:07:46,719
was a big old dick about this
because he went against his word. He

1016
01:07:46,880 --> 01:07:50,079
was saying. Hey. They were
like, hey, you kind of didn't

1017
01:07:50,119 --> 01:07:54,400
say you were gonna kill them.
You tricked them and killed them behind a

1018
01:07:54,480 --> 01:07:58,119
dune like a coward, no honor. King Philip was like, listen,

1019
01:07:59,400 --> 01:08:01,119
yeah, it was kind of a
dick move, but do you really want

1020
01:08:01,159 --> 01:08:05,280
Protestantism spreading in Florida? And everyone's
like, that's a really good point,

1021
01:08:05,320 --> 01:08:09,239
King Philip. So Menenda's never got
any shipped for that. Really. Some

1022
01:08:09,239 --> 01:08:12,199
people didn't like them. Some people
thought he was also flags and banners fly

1023
01:08:12,320 --> 01:08:16,640
forever. Yes, you never heard
about this, goddamn fortu Fort Caroline.

1024
01:08:16,800 --> 01:08:20,159
No, yeah, actually Fort Caroline
was once it was taken by the Spanish,

1025
01:08:20,239 --> 01:08:27,119
was burned to the ground, I
mean in retaliation I believe by the

1026
01:08:27,119 --> 01:08:29,760
French later, or it might have
been around the same time. I don't

1027
01:08:29,800 --> 01:08:33,000
know. There's another hole. They
renamed it San Mateo. They burned it,

1028
01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:36,119
it got burned, something happened,
I don't know. And also the

1029
01:08:36,199 --> 01:08:41,119
Native Americans were very like pro like
in cahoots with the Spanish. They were

1030
01:08:41,159 --> 01:08:44,279
ratten out on the French the entire
time. Interesting, Yeah, the Americans

1031
01:08:44,319 --> 01:08:45,840
like the French better. Up north. It was like the Tamikua or the

1032
01:08:46,840 --> 01:08:49,760
I forget the name of the tribe. It wasn't the Seminoles, but they

1033
01:08:49,760 --> 01:08:51,920
were. Yeah, they were in
codes with them. But I just thought

1034
01:08:51,920 --> 01:08:56,000
it was interesting just seeing a bunch
of beautiful vacation homes. So oh,

1035
01:08:56,159 --> 01:08:58,680
Matanzas River. My father I was
like, yeah, look that up.

1036
01:08:58,680 --> 01:09:02,560
See what happened here. It's like, oh, heads will roll. I

1037
01:09:02,640 --> 01:09:08,479
knew this was coming wherever. Whenever
you go somewhere I talked to you immediately

1038
01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:12,039
talk about it after Yeah, because
it's fresh. Yeah, like the West

1039
01:09:12,039 --> 01:09:16,159
Texas episode. I love that episode, the Zone of Silence where they just

1040
01:09:16,199 --> 01:09:20,279
decided to you know, no a
big deal. We're just taking two hundred

1041
01:09:20,319 --> 01:09:24,840
thousand tons of sand from this one
spot to study it in the Pentagon.

1042
01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:31,199
Real important. Nah, No,
that's not sketchy. I do think that

1043
01:09:31,239 --> 01:09:38,720
there's I don't think that the Spanish
commander is a liar. Members. Yeah,

1044
01:09:38,720 --> 01:09:43,359
you can only lie to people,
not heathens. Yeah, you can

1045
01:09:43,399 --> 01:09:45,079
only lie to Catholics. Yeah,
yeah, it's not a lie if they're

1046
01:09:45,079 --> 01:09:47,479
not Catholic. Would you guys learn
to that. It's kind of like when

1047
01:09:47,479 --> 01:09:53,640
the Pope said, you can't use
range weapons against fellow Catholics, right,

1048
01:09:54,800 --> 01:09:58,640
calculated, you can't use lies unless
it's him again it's Catholic. Yeah right,

1049
01:09:59,039 --> 01:10:01,720
well the poking dude, you can
always move the goalpost. What Therefore,

1050
01:10:01,880 --> 01:10:08,000
what I learned today, it's actually
important to know that. I think

1051
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:12,399
a lot of people don't realize that
as far as colonialism goes. Uh,

1052
01:10:12,840 --> 01:10:15,760
we weren't just slaughtering the natives.
Oh no, no, no, no,

1053
01:10:15,800 --> 01:10:18,680
everybody could get it. Yeah,
everybody was getting it. Yeah.

1054
01:10:18,720 --> 01:10:26,359
That and what I learned today was
Florida, the home of fraud, was

1055
01:10:26,439 --> 01:10:31,079
built on kind of a backstab in
scheme a little bit. Yeah, it's

1056
01:10:31,079 --> 01:10:36,479
not's about right in Poco. Yeah, Poco the home of yeah, like

1057
01:10:36,560 --> 01:10:42,880
identity fraud, whatever, credit card
theft, oh, elder abuse. Yeah

1058
01:10:42,960 --> 01:10:45,960
yeah, Miami's built on cocaine.
You all know this because of Billy Corbyn.

1059
01:10:46,880 --> 01:10:54,359
But uh yeah, who's today's hitler? The fuck Menendez? Menanda's clearly

1060
01:10:54,760 --> 01:10:59,880
yeah, he said Catholicism aside.
Yeah, he beheaded a lot fully hit.

1061
01:11:00,119 --> 01:11:04,239
What are squatter's rights like in Florida
squatters rights? Yeah, in New

1062
01:11:04,319 --> 01:11:08,520
York it's thirty days with the Santa's
probably not that many. Yeah, I

1063
01:11:08,600 --> 01:11:12,119
probably got rid of that. But
with Rick Scott before him, like Florida

1064
01:11:12,119 --> 01:11:15,720
and Texas, I feel like you
just shoot the person. Yeah. Florida,

1065
01:11:15,319 --> 01:11:18,239
if you all you have to do, if even if someone is legally

1066
01:11:18,279 --> 01:11:23,159
renting on your property, all you
have to do is walk into that property,

1067
01:11:23,520 --> 01:11:27,159
say I E vict you, and
then you can immediately shoot them.

1068
01:11:27,239 --> 01:11:30,960
Yeah you're actually you have to teleport
out. Yeah, you get shot.

1069
01:11:30,000 --> 01:11:33,600
He's coming for us. Uh.
The thing I totally forgot about to in

1070
01:11:33,600 --> 01:11:39,920
Florida is there's no requirement for concealed
carry, so everyone the same as Texas.

1071
01:11:40,439 --> 01:11:42,439
No, I don't think so it
is in Texas. Did they just

1072
01:11:42,479 --> 01:11:45,439
pass up. It's pretty new.
Yeah, I think it's been around a

1073
01:11:45,439 --> 01:11:47,880
couple of years. I hate Yeah, it's but it's fairly new, especially

1074
01:11:47,880 --> 01:11:51,319
for Texas. Like you would think
that that existed lot, you would think

1075
01:11:51,319 --> 01:11:57,319
it would never have. I have
no problem with the open carry because you

1076
01:11:57,319 --> 01:12:00,399
can see it. Open carry is
honestly stupid. Well, you should not

1077
01:12:00,600 --> 01:12:05,720
want because that just gives someone an
excuse to crack you on the back of

1078
01:12:05,720 --> 01:12:10,479
the head and steal your gun.
Yeah you can't oh personally doing it.

1079
01:12:10,560 --> 01:12:12,800
Yeah that's what I mean. Yeah, I mean think about every time you

1080
01:12:12,840 --> 01:12:15,239
see a cop you want to reach
down for that gun. Oh, it's

1081
01:12:15,239 --> 01:12:17,039
the first thing you want to do. People with guns be like, oh

1082
01:12:17,039 --> 01:12:18,840
whatever, you should be able to
do whatever you want to gun. But

1083
01:12:18,920 --> 01:12:21,520
like it. Conceal carry is fun
because now every cop gets to assume you're

1084
01:12:21,600 --> 01:12:26,119
armed. Yeah, that's not what
you want, and not in Florida at

1085
01:12:26,199 --> 01:12:30,800
least. God also just FHP whoeveryone
in Florida is armed. Yeah, it's

1086
01:12:30,800 --> 01:12:35,000
a safe assumption. Yeah. But
yeah, that's what I learned about when

1087
01:12:35,039 --> 01:12:38,720
I was on a little trip to
Florida see my little nieces. Actually the

1088
01:12:38,720 --> 01:12:41,960
babies were so young, they were
like less than three months. At one

1089
01:12:41,960 --> 01:12:45,159
point we were at the airbnb one
of Katie's sisters rented. I had to

1090
01:12:45,159 --> 01:12:47,119
do hawk duty because there was a
big hawk flying around. Good Lord,

1091
01:12:47,199 --> 01:12:50,920
and the baby was like out there
and small enough, so you chewed the

1092
01:12:50,920 --> 01:12:54,479
food and spit it into their mouth. No I didn't, baby bird.

1093
01:12:54,479 --> 01:12:56,880
I didn't, baby Bird. I
just shook my fist to pick birds as

1094
01:12:56,880 --> 01:12:59,319
they flew. The hawk would not
be able to pick up the baby.

1095
01:12:59,399 --> 01:13:00,479
They could dive at it, though, they could dive out it. Are

1096
01:13:00,479 --> 01:13:05,039
they just crawling and they would have
the hawks the babies. Babies don't move

1097
01:13:05,039 --> 01:13:08,680
that young. No, they don't
move that they were sitting in the bouncy

1098
01:13:08,720 --> 01:13:12,720
thing, bouncy chair. Yeah,
but the hawk could at any point just

1099
01:13:12,760 --> 01:13:15,600
swoop down, I mean, carried
it away. It would hurt, significantly

1100
01:13:15,680 --> 01:13:18,279
hurt the baby. Fuck it up. Yeah, they can pick it up

1101
01:13:18,279 --> 01:13:23,800
by the little not hawks way like
hawks like eight pounds. Hawks are not

1102
01:13:23,840 --> 01:13:25,800
that big. No, they're not. They're like, you know, the

1103
01:13:25,800 --> 01:13:29,239
eagles are huge eagles. An eagle
could maybe pick up in the condor could

1104
01:13:29,279 --> 01:13:30,720
fucking fly with two babies. Yeah, yeah, but a condor is like

1105
01:13:30,760 --> 01:13:35,000
a vulture. It is, and
it's South America. I believe California connors.

1106
01:13:35,000 --> 01:13:40,119
Do you have California content? And
we'll get to vultures on the Anyone

1107
01:13:40,159 --> 01:13:42,319
who's like, oh, a hawk
could eat my dog, you know,

1108
01:13:42,359 --> 01:13:45,000
like my little my tiny little chihuahua, like well, maybe a chiuala,

1109
01:13:45,119 --> 01:13:48,880
like a five pounds huala. Maybe
owls are also big? What owls are

1110
01:13:48,960 --> 01:13:54,279
huge. Somehow they look big.
No, they are big pound wise.

1111
01:13:54,439 --> 01:13:57,560
It depends on me how Actually,
I think like a snowy white ouse pretty

1112
01:13:57,600 --> 01:14:00,279
big. I believe they are as
well. I think those big barnows like

1113
01:14:00,359 --> 01:14:02,039
this tall too. That's a lot
of people mistake this for aliens because they're

1114
01:14:02,039 --> 01:14:04,840
about like this. They're like three
feet. Yeah. Birds are bigger than

1115
01:14:04,880 --> 01:14:08,800
anything. Hawk can only carry about
four pounds. Actually, large eagles can

1116
01:14:08,840 --> 01:14:11,439
only car about five. But it's
not about what they can carry, it's

1117
01:14:11,439 --> 01:14:14,239
about where they can kill and eat
right there on the spot too. Okay.

1118
01:14:14,560 --> 01:14:18,800
The largest owl on earth is blackist
on this fish owl, and it

1119
01:14:18,880 --> 01:14:25,479
is between six and a half to
seven point nine pounds. What, there's

1120
01:14:25,479 --> 01:14:30,840
no way while the female actually gets
bigger at that ten pounds. Uh,

1121
01:14:31,319 --> 01:14:36,399
the north the great gray owl,
it's like about two feet tall. That's

1122
01:14:36,439 --> 01:14:41,119
fine, but that doesn't mean it's
Are they fucking hollow? Yeah a lot?

1123
01:14:41,199 --> 01:14:43,960
Well no, they have hollow bones, hollow bones, and it's a

1124
01:14:44,000 --> 01:14:46,239
lot of the mass you see,
it's just feathers. It's plumage, dude.

1125
01:14:46,279 --> 01:14:50,399
That's why there were dragons before their
bones were hollow disintegrated. That would

1126
01:14:50,439 --> 01:14:55,359
make sense if they were related to
dinosaurs, right, if there's like the

1127
01:14:55,359 --> 01:15:00,239
bird dinosaur connection, if there was
still like large flying halfway throughs. Plus

1128
01:15:00,239 --> 01:15:02,840
there are acidic stomachs. That's how
they make them fire. They make that

1129
01:15:02,920 --> 01:15:06,000
fire. But that's how the bones
go. But again, though, you

1130
01:15:06,039 --> 01:15:10,680
cannot pick something up that weighs the
same as you or more than you.

1131
01:15:10,840 --> 01:15:15,239
Let's fly away. Oh to fly
yet an animal can't? You don't know

1132
01:15:15,279 --> 01:15:19,000
that? What if you had really
strong wings? They don't do it?

1133
01:15:19,920 --> 01:15:26,880
Why not? They just don't.
Why a pterodactyl way actually only nine pounds.

1134
01:15:27,439 --> 01:15:31,560
That's sick. It was all skin. We're about to flappies, getting

1135
01:15:31,560 --> 01:15:36,399
know they're huge Jesus Christ. They
had a wingspan of about thirty feet,

1136
01:15:36,520 --> 01:15:40,079
weighed around five hundred and fifty pounds. Yeah, they'll pick you up.

1137
01:15:40,920 --> 01:15:44,960
Fuck that. It's a seven forty
seven. Yeah, and it's getting eaten

1138
01:15:45,000 --> 01:15:48,000
in a pterodactyl nest. Yeah,
they're not accidentally nose diving. Oh seven

1139
01:15:48,079 --> 01:15:50,600
thirty seven, My bad. Well
that's it for the show, guys,

1140
01:15:50,600 --> 01:15:56,239
thanks so much for listening. Please
like, will not like, please subscribe

1141
01:15:56,960 --> 01:16:00,680
again dot com slash off Core history. This week, we're actually going to

1142
01:16:00,760 --> 01:16:04,479
talk about vultures are we really a
little bit well extra segue. Yeah,

1143
01:16:05,000 --> 01:16:08,960
also leave a review. Dan needs
more reviews so we can drink and get

1144
01:16:09,000 --> 01:16:12,560
drunk on the show. We're almost
there, yeah right now, thirty five

1145
01:16:12,600 --> 01:16:15,680
away. Yeah seems so far away. It's so far away. Yeah,

1146
01:16:15,720 --> 01:16:18,560
just someone make thirty five alts and
let Dan drink. I want to drink.

1147
01:16:18,840 --> 01:16:23,279
We can't do it because that would
be fraud. I just don't care.

1148
01:16:23,399 --> 01:16:26,279
I also don't care enough to hire
a click farm to do it.

1149
01:16:26,439 --> 01:16:28,239
Yeah. No, no, no, no, I want it to be

1150
01:16:28,359 --> 01:16:31,279
legit. I don't have I don't
have the energy to send fourteen dollars to

1151
01:16:31,319 --> 01:16:34,479
Indonesia. No, no, no. Plus, you don't want to send

1152
01:16:34,520 --> 01:16:38,159
them any money because they can probably
figure out a way to send themselves more.

1153
01:16:38,239 --> 01:16:40,279
Yes, but uh yeah, that's
it for a show. Thanks so

1154
01:16:40,399 --> 01:16:42,920
much for listening for Dan or Jester
from Rob Fox. I'm Jake Goldman.

1155
01:16:42,960 --> 01:16:43,960
You just got saw served