Hello, everyone, Welcome to episode forty one Kai Dungeons and Dragons. I
were back again after a little bit of a hiatus, but we're back and
we're ready to role play. I'm here with Norman Wayne, No Briggs,
I always called you Wayne, Gretzky Wayne. I'm playing hockey over here.
I'm here with Cody Shavety. Hey, I'm playing football over here. I'm
here with the Pitbull Daniel Green. Hey, I'm over here. I'm over
here ship in my pants, and I'm here with taking one on one Anthony.
Hey, I'm all Anthony's everywhere, all at once over here. I
actually have a question for you the Shark. When we make the card game,
which is now in post production or in production, it's in production,
are you okay with your card being the Shark? Oh yeah, for sure?
Yeah, absolutely, Sweetweet, I just want to when you think,
when you think of like Goku, you picture Goku not like, you know,
super safe coming to fucking guy. Yeah that guy. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, but yeah, I guess, I guess we I was going
to say this as a quick announcement, me and Schwabady have a new podcast
that has been going on for a few weeks. Where we talk about hobbies,
including dungeons and dragons. Next week's episode will actually be out already by
the time Disco comes up on YouTube is featuring Daniel Green books and hell,
yeah, sure we'll get future Did you ask me to be on or did
I dream that we will? We will get you on for a one piece
episode in the future. We haven't had you're on our Thanks good I requested.
I requested teching one piece episode. It has to be done. Yeah,
I don't worry. Yeah, it's necessary. I also suggest that you
have an episode where you just have my cat on and you just keep trying
to ask it questions, keep putting exactly right now? Happy to do that.
I really have to do that. I have a cat as well.
I can bring my cat on and we could just see if they can talk
to each other. Yeah, yeah, just leave them unsupervised, just in
the room with your microphone. What happens? Do you have a cat?
Mark? I know you don't, but can you can you get one?
I could get one? Yeah, and is legally stopping me from acquiring one?
Yeah, acquire a cat for the podcast. Yeah. I need to
say something here, guys, I need to say something real quick for everyone
wondering when the podcast is look at Russage's Twitter, because if I get asked
one more time all streaming, I'm gonna lose my mind. I get asked
no joke, no joke. Yeah, this happened yesterday. This happened yesterday,
dude, I get asked minimum ten to twelve times perst three leading us
to the podcast. Now that you're bringing it up, you know it's probably
gonna happen more now, no, no, no, the internet comes.
What's that podcast? Dog? Where is that? The worst is when I
answered the question and a minute later someone else answers, oh yeah, or
would I pin it as the fucking top comment on the thing? This is
when it is? And then then you still ask all right, well,
love you all, though he doesn't he already doesn't. Ideot Welcome to chaos.
Last time you guys lost a clearly rigged court case. Yes, yes,
and you guys are now accompanied by Jesus your your Jesus' terras. Uh
do you've you've entered into the forest apostles terrors? Sorry, you're right,
like he's like an old man with dementia. You Jesus's apostles to the forest
to the west of Historias, the Mushroom Forest, and you are here to
find the Monk holy site, the Monk Tower. You recently had a little
bit of a run in with Baron Fung. He told you that the site
is in the Noblin village somewhere, and that they are they've been recently encroaching
on mushlings. Yeah, we promised him that we would help him deal with
the Noblin problem. The Noblin problem. Yeah, Noblin problem is just very
good. Have like a name for their species using mushlings, not just the
kids. They're all mushlings. They're all mushlings, mushlings. I see,
I see, I see there are children. Yeah, yeah, I have
a point of order. What's your point of order? Yes? Can we,
please, love God, change the name from mushlings? That is just
the vile word. Well, you are the only author. You're the only
author in here, So I love it him? Like in like a book,
right, one of the the characters just turns around and guys like,
hey, author, I don't like the name of this. Can we can
we change it? That's no good we need I don't feel like that's probably
happened before. Told me you can't put this, No, I don't like
I don't like dwarves. Actually, can we just be little guys like I
don't want to be a dwarf? Actually, yeah, I want to be
a rock man. Okay, what what is your suggestion then? Actually?
Actually, what is your suggestion for an alternate to mushling mohikins? Okay?
So much work? Are we walking through? The Is the shark having this
debate with us? Like, I don't know why we're calling surely internally with
God because because you found religion now, yeah, through Jesus, and you
are God in this world. So the shark is talking Jesus. Yeah,
just talk to Jesus. This world does have God. Jesus one of them.
Oh, the piple doesn't believe in Jesus. He believes in God.
I'm not this Are they really God? So this guy is just like he's
just a dude called Jesus. Well, no, seriously, canonically in the
world this Jesus has never told me I am the son of God and told
me the story. There's been like a references to it, but it's never
been like a serious as you as you are walking down, Jesus turns to
you and goes Hey, you know, I'm the son of God and here's
the entire story of Jesus, and it's my story I wrote. I heard
an autobiography about it under but I use different pen names. It's called the
Bible. We should read it. Yeah, okay, oh, did the
did the one in you Tah come from you? Too? Restage? How
you want to answer that question? Real quick? I don't know. The
one in Utah Mormon? The third in the trilogy. You know what I'm
saying. Yeah, the Return of the King of the Devils, the recurrent.
Yeah. I recently I have a vendetta against Mormonism because they're so nice.
No, no, no, because I recently read they prefer to actually
be called the Church of Latter day Saints. Now I think I start.
I recently read a study in Scarlet, you know, the Sherlock Holmes book,
and in the middle of a detective crime thing set in England, it
just transitions to Mormon America for like six chapters. Okay, a lot of
crazy shit happened with the Mormons back in the eighteen hundreds. I can tell
you a whole story. It actually features my favorite governor from the US,
Lilburn Bogs it's a fun So we're walking through the forest. So we're walking
through I thought the like that there was a printing issue because it was like
a completely different story about Mormons. They go read about the Mormons and Joseph
Smith. But let's keep moving. So you guys are walking through the forest
and you're heading to the Noblin town. That you can point it in the
direction of being very careful not to step on any mushrooms. I don't care
if they're constant, start fit. You can kind of lead your way to
the Noblin town because the little mushrooms starts thinning out until eventually you reach a
clearing in the in the trees and you see houses built into the tree tops
and and wooden pathways built around the trees, and uh, and you start
seeing what you recognize is the little Noblin. Guys, we're not like approaching
it yet though, right or yeah, you could, just you're sort of
seeing it. You're seeing it in the distance. You see the Noblins,
you see houses, you see like there's a there is a Noblin in a
window of one of the houses doing his laundry. I've never dealt with these
guys before. What what are what are the deal with. Oh they're they're
really nice. They have a hole, they invented the what do you do
with them? Yeah, holy ship, these guys are Wow. You know
what you do in the hole? You were there? Yeah, I'm picturing
like the Ewok village, but like more mushroom decorated. Is that? Actually
that's pretty much what I was thinking as well. It would probably be like
that, but not mushroom decorated, because they would have gotten rid of any
sort of mushroom foliage the anti mushroom is. But we need to all right,
we are going to make peace between the mushlings and the Noblins. Okay,
wow, in the series of peace. So we need a dip.
This is this is This is Pipple's like chance to shine in his new monkish
all. I feel like we can go just like light light the shrine,
shut the set the forest and the fire and leave Norman no fire. I'm
a firefighter. I put out an entire while you guys don't know business.
You guys don't know specifically what the shrine is. You just know it's somewhere.
So we need to really be friends with the Noblins and find out where
the shrine is. We need to. We need to get them on good
terms with the mushlings. Mustling. Mustling is shrewmies, the shrewes. Truman.
Can we okay? Party? Can we creak tuddle real quick? Yeah?
Not cuddle? Puddle back up? Jesus wait, am I not puddle
the party? Hey? Guys? No, No, you're fine, you're
going Hey, I'm in a huddle before that. They're very common Uh.
One thing that I don't want this to be our plan A, maybe not
even Plan B. But this is a plan see that I'm gonna put forward.
Nothing will unite two people like a common enemy. So if we can't
negotiate, if we can't you know, get there with words, maybe we
introduce a mythological threat that they need to unite against, like a forest fire,
starting mythical beast. And I gestured to Schwabity. Is this my favorite
part is that Schwabiti, I'm calling you a beast? Yeah? All right?
Have you seen that mustache? I mean you could turn into like a
lion and I could use my power to light a fire. They would look
for or Norman could do it. It would be low intelligence. This is
a low intelligence species. So we could convince them that there's some existential threat
and they need to unite over it, and I don't want to. I'm
not that forest fire. This is like a plan. This is a plan.
C Maybe this is more of a plan, like l if we're being
honest here, but like after anybody. But no, it's not that bad.
It's not that bad. But if anybody's going to start a forest fighter,
it might as well be someone that knows how to do a controlled burn.
So I agree, I mean, I agree for sure. I don't
want to start it out of control forest fire. So do we want to
just like one person just Cody goes in and talks to the what are they
called goblins? No, that's trademark noblins, right, yeah, yeah,
I uh. I would love to go in and talk to them, but
I think I need some backup. I'm not the most persuasive kind of guy,
all right, the most persuasive. I mean, you can't see him
in universe. So about Jesus persuasive? He checks at his sheet. Cody
strength is that he is like very in touch with nature and stuff, so
he along with these guys. He'd get along with the fungus people more than
the Noblin people. For sure. My uh charismas thirteen. It's not great.
Mine's only twelve. I'm not great at it. Jesus is not Mine's
really bad. Mine the nine the Jesus sheets is not loading for me.
Have I been like Nora? God's real? Norman, you're so bad at
persuasion. I am not persuaded that you're bad at persuasion. You are amazing
at persuasion. These hats are bullshit. I'm gonna start a fire, Norman.
I feel like the longer that Norman stays in Vestoria, the louder his
intrusive thoughts get swaps. It's got to be you because I'm only thirteen.
You gotta have hired on that, all right. I think Jesus might actually
be good, but he's his sheet still working. So is there anybody else
with us that we've forgotten in the last month? Like his little feather?
We definitely only came with this very small popus Jesus. Okay, gotcha?
All right? I feel like the Shark's influence and getting power. It's been
a very bad influence on Norman. Yeah, probably everyone. Everyone can come,
you know with me, But I'll just take the lead. Okay,
I'll try and heil some sort of leader. So we'll walk into the village.
You walk into the village and there are you know, there's noblins walking
around. They will take a lot of them. When they see you,
they look at you like, what the fuck are these guys doing here?
Hello? One of them notices you, and and I don't know if you
recognize him, but he recognizes you, and he runs up to you and
he goes, oh my god, oh my god, it's you, guys,
it's me smug you remember you remember, Oh my god. Turns he
turns out to all the other noblins and he's like, don't worry, guys.
These guys are cool. These guys are fucking. These guys are awesome.
They helped me and my brother outright, we did that a while ago.
Now, huh ah, we've come out. You guys helped. That's
nice. Yeah, yeah, listen, you guys help me move into that
village. But my brother's still there, but I decided to come back.
Uh hell, now I hang out here. Did you not like the human
village? Well, the thing is, it's even even though you know,
you fought for us to be able to to live there, they still weren't
one hundred percent on board with Noblins. There was a lot of like,
you know, side eyeing and not being treated the exact same way as the
other guys. But and they filled in my hole. Oh no, you
know that was your whole Yeah, where did you go? Sorry? No,
personal questions are fine. Listen. We're here for a very important reason.
To two reasons. Yeah. Number one, there is a shrine here
that we need to access, Okay, for kind of the greater good of
the world. You know it's the second reason, is I hear you guys
have a bit of an issue with the mushroom guys out in the forest.
Oh yeah, I mean that's why I've heard. I'm listen. I I
was born and raised outside of this village, so I don't know the the
ins and outs of of of no Nopopolis. Yep, Okay, do you
think the names can't get any worse? Maybe maybe you can help us just
by introducing us to someone who might know what's going on, someone in charge,
someone a little higher up. You guys are heroes. I've been talking.
I've talked to you. You are the only non Noblins that have ever
shown us any sort of respect. So I wait, literally, yeah,
ow, why do you think we had to this fort? That's like ultra
racism. The one guy who was like, well, there's been one person
recently, but you guys were the first. You guys end up? Guy,
Well, no, she's amazing. Uh, she's she's she's gonna be
a new queen. Is her name snow? No? Is it a what?
Oh? You you're already acquainted. I would have I would I would
have I would have shoved. So I mean, if she must be your
friend, we're acquainted. Yeah kind of. Oh great, Well then straight,
I've got I'll bring you to the King. I'll bring you to the
keg. This was this was easy. Norman, Yeah, Norman, Who
the fuck is this guy? I think I remember either. I was just
going a lot of the they call by bluff, the bluff work, the
bluff work. I've never met him before. I remember him, but I
just read their messages and yeah. I guess for any person who is who
is listening and confused, because this is the forty first episode, smug may
be literally the first NPC these guys have ever met, right, Yeah,
well except for the Prince that kill yeah assassins and the prince we technically met
them before. But yeah, the first friendly NPC was was Smug the Noblin.
Do you legitimately have no memory like Daniel Green has no memory? You
guys remember the episode of the Whole. Do you remember this episode? I
don't know what is We asked the Noblins do you have a toilet? And
they said we have the whole? Oh I kind of do, I kind
of do. Yeah. Yeah, that's such that's such an iconic moment.
That's what launched ship this D and D. I still had an accident,
yes, probably, yes, you say back when he's had an accent.
The accent lasted for episode one. I think you don't remember anything from that
period of easky D and D besides milking Cody Daddiel Green. How can I
forget? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I've been doing this campaign for two
years now November one. Yeah, yeah, just for two years. So
wow, memories chat believe that I actually remembered when I mentioned the human village.
Okay, so the Smug leads you up these these wooden plank steps,
round twisted tree lines up until you get to this quite big wooden structure and
it has some nobbling guards outside holding their spears and Smug Hey, this is
the guy. These are the guys, and they sort of give you give
him a nod, hell and you get immediately let in. Oh wow,
this is going swimmingly. You enter into this room and there is we're the
guys. Let's go. Yeah, I mean, I guess, I mean
I'm not. But okay, there's quite a weathered looking noblin sitting on a
sort of a throne. Does he have a long beard? He does,
He has got like a long noblin beard. He's got a giant Can you
can you give us a refresher, because it genuinely has been for episodes since
we've seen a noblin? What noblins look like? Can you guys imagine a
gnome for me? Yes, it's like a like a garden, like a
dungeons dragons. Yeah, okay, picturing a fantasy. Can you guys picture
a goblin for me? Yep, yes, okay, Now can you just
put them together in your head? Okay, So a green gnome covered in
warts and all? I was thinking red, I was I thinking red.
I don't know. I always think it's it's it's only it's not. They
wouldn't be quite as green as a as a goblin would be right, but
they're not quite as somewhere she as a as a gnome so green and green
and paint so it's like a more tinted dark greenish, you know, kind
of like a faded green vomit colored dead. Gotcha, all right, they're
quite gross looking. Yeah, that's just like picturing. We're picturing like a
tiny John Madden. Yeah, okay, this one. See the goblin,
a Gnome and Dumbledore together. Okay, yeah, yeah with that beard.
Okay, got it. I think I've got it, all right, Yeah,
I got it close enough. And the long wispy beard for this guy,
your majesty. Yes, i'm bow. I bow as well. I
don't know the proper he looks out as you guys bow, and he goes
very deed for that shout out head enough right away, sir. Are you
the guys? We're the guys. I've heard a lot about you from smoke.
Apparently you are the first no Noblins trios with some sort of respect.
Well, i'm you guys want to party about it? We I mean,
if you're a friend of noble and kind, you're a friend of me,
all right, and a party get ingratiated with them before we start trying to
cut down the business if you get what I'm saying. Yeah, and what
owners do I have for you guys coming here in my humble village. I
know you have a good time and celebrate first and foremost to have a good
time. You know, we just wanted to catch up. But also there's
something here we've heard that we're after. Have you seen They won't mind.
It's the shrine we can just point to Jesus. Have you seen the symbol?
Anywhere? The necklace might be in like a church chapel, some type
of cave, or a hole of some kind, or a tree. It
could be anywhere. I know I've seen that symbol. What's it to you?
You need to find it? Is it like your holy site? Like?
Would you care if we went there at all? He looks at you,
guys, and he smiles slightly and he goes, you're not quite strong,
right? Yeah? Yeah, I mean Norman norm inflected and like it
like barely any muscle. Do you know what, man, I'll do you
a lot of favor. Okay, if you do a little thing for me
first, I will tell you where this where I've seen that thing before?
All right, Okay, what exactly is you need from what's this? Yeah?
Right, so you know you're well aware that people hate Noblins. Right,
We're hated all over the place. We've tried to set up towns and
villages. Every people drive us out. We got driven to this forest.
We're no other place to go. I mean it is a nice forest though,
but I just hate how much I love you, right, right,
It's it's great we've managed, you know, we're away from human persecution and
all that. The problem is there's an invasive species here that oh here we
go, okay, that is It's been difficult. It's been difficult, you
know, for lack of a bet I was raising. This is my homeland,
right, it's my father made right, Yeah, this is my home
and the right. Yeah. And recently we've had a bunch of you know,
finest warriors. Uh they've been they've been captured, held our stitch by
these uh I don't know, I see him if you look up high enough
toll buggers beast your they're like they're like these big mushroom beast like different than
like any other sort of you know, like a like a wolf or right,
just mushroom based. They're like a mushroom beast. I'll tell you what
one punch from those things could take out a nobbling. Oh yeah, I'm
aware of that. Yeah, li'sten. I hate one. We we can,
we can. We have the mushroom problem. But I think I think
I think the pople was right. We should have a little celebration, you
know, before we get down to business. I love drinking. I love
partying. About Tonight we party, we feast, and tomorrow we can talk
business. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. I'm happy about that.
And anyway, there's a good chance there's a good chance that the osages
will be released. I've sent my wife, my soon to be wife.
We're engaged, lads. She she's a quite a hot headed one. She's
gone out to try and retrieve these hostages. It's her name Budicap. By
any chance you met her, you see her. We met a little while
ago. Yeah, yeah, we know when my guys will be happy together.
I'm sure when my previous wife died, like fifteen or so years ago,
I thought I'd never find love again. But wow, she's a dynamite
girl. I know what you mean. I just got married to my wife
a couple of days ago. Oh, well, congrats, dude, she's
hot as fuck. I just want to say, I don't know what she
sees in Yeah, yo know what I mean? Yeah, eleven three guys,
you call me, I'm just being I'm sarcastic. I'm just I'm teasing
you. I'm so used to being insulted and quote ugly and like a freak
like you know, I have a gift for your kind. Actually you do,
Yeah, I do follow my lead. Actually, don't just let me
do this and everyone else just let it happen, Okay, just everyone,
shut up? Shut up, Norman. Shut the fuck up. I believe,
shut the fuck up Norman. All right, so I know have a
flashbacks to his parrots. Is it operation to fire time? I would personally
like to dine next to you, if that's okay, as the leader,
and I have a gift for your court because I know how hard you guys
have it in the world. And if there's one thing, unfortunately in the
universe that does help wheels get turning, even if people unjustly have a dislike
looking for you, it's money. So I am going to give you one
thousand gold. Do you have one thousand gold on you? I have eleven
hundred. Oh perfect. I just want to make sure because you guys don't
pick up any more gold. Yeah, I'm giving basically my wealth away to
this guy just to grease the wheels. This is the second time that you
have given your wealth away. I know a series, which is which I
love. What you don't know is the shark is viciously communists. This is
this is we're going to fund his communism. Yeah, the shark isn't but
pit bullets. Yeah you you you do? You just show him a thousand
gold Yeah, I just put it down. Guys, mo yo, you
are a friend of me, all right, you got a friend in me.
I mean I have a what's drink? That's drink? Okay together,
Yeah, we'll get I'm having a I'm having a moment, okay. Of
like Cody knowing that Boudica is on her way to the mushroom people means nothing.
He's like, oh okay, I hope she, you know, is
able to reason with him and nothing bad happens. Shwubberdy is aware of Bodka's
historical exploits. It's conflicting. Cody doesn't know. Cody doesn't know what the
Boudica horizon is because anyone here's character would know, because I don't think almost
certainly not now, No, right, I will. I will lean into
Cody and I'll be like, hey, uh, what about if we could
just like get them drunk and they could just tell us where the place is
and we can just go. Yeah, we could totally just apply them with
alcohol and then go to the shrine. Yeah, that sounds like a fun
time to me. Yeah, hey, Weldon for coming up with that yourself,
Anthony, this was your plan and nobody else's. Okay, good job.
Then I don't I don't know what the implication is. I don't idea
from the okay, right, he didn't. He didn't tell it. He
did not tell it. I'd tell that that was his plan. I thought
him to introduce it, and he didn't introduce it. So you came up
with it first, which is really funny to me as a third party.
I really just thought he just wanted to have a good time. Yeah I
did too. Actually, that's so funny. Yeah, you're right, that
is probably what Pitbull's plan was. He yet, from audio only listeners,
during the last conversation, Daniel Green did slum the table and run out of
through. Well, you gotta you gotta explain what the plan is before somebody
else like, hey, wait a minute, guys, sorry, we're too
busy. Okay, So he he starts to be in character. Cody thinks
that is actually just he never would have thought it was. Yeah, oh
god, all right. So so the chief, he didn't even say his
name. Uh, he's gonna he's gonna turn around to one of his guards,
and the guards and he says to his guys, go around from gradual
fighters musicians, and now we're having a party here tonight. And the guard
goes yes, Chief krunkle and and then cool, and they scamp him away.
And after a little bit, people Noblin start flooding into the building.
This musician comes in. He's got like a quite a broken looking guitar and
he sits down. He starts tranging it. It's out of tune, but
he's also got a tune. I got that. I'll fix it really well.
So the guitar's out of tune, but he's also out of tune,
so it's in tune with his if it makes sense, do you know what
I mean? It's like saying these dissonant tones over dissonant chords. That's some
postmodernist ship. Bro let's go. Yeah you like it, you lug it?
Yeah, okay, the shark likes to actually is gonna throw down,
but they just do it. Starts to look like a lame ass nineteen forties
like like like you just don't Charleston. Yeah okay, well yeah, he's
he's he's jamming out and people are having fun. Do they have here?
You notice that as they bring in the food, quite a lot of it
is roasted mushrooms. Ah yeah, oh hell yeah, because it's bounty for
he is just just chowing down. Some of them have little arms. Some
of them have little arms you specifically, Yeah, Cody does not notice.
Some of them have like to finally like have some actual vegan yes, realize
that these it's just like some of them have like terrified faces like yeah yeah
yeah. Some of them are just the full little mushlings just roasted. There.
There's like a mother with her children. That's just like no, no,
no, no no, they wouldn't be a mother with a children because
they mother would be far too big, right wouldice. That's the that's the
main course, that's not that's these are appetizers. They I you judging for
this. I don't think that they have there are they? They have not
been successful at killing adult mushlings, but they have killed quite a lot of
children musing. I lean over to So Cody is just eating them, right,
yeah? And drinking. Yeah, you do know certain mushrooms have like
psychedelic effects like psilocybin mushrooms and stuff. Are you you are rare? Right?
But I mean I don't know. Also walk around and talk, so,
uh, these are pretty rare. I would imagine that's a very good
point. I hate mushrooms. I don't want any. I like them on
pizza, Yeah, I guess they're okay on pizza. Do they have pizza?
Do they pizza? No? Unfortunately they don't. But you could intro
introduce the concept to them if you wanted to say, all right, I'll
go, I'll go, Bene, let's got cheese on it. Say yeah,
it's no vegan, right, I'll go make a vegan pizza for you,
Cody. Hell, yeah, gosh, it's incredible. We're drinking.
What do they what do they have to drink? What do they have to
drink? It is it's no other brew? Did not really yeah, good,
Actually right, you don't want to. What are the chances goes and
starts a war between the mushrooms and the Noblins. What was I will last
in reaction with Budica because we were only with her for a short while.
The last interactually you had with Budica was she summoned her and then Da Vinci
essentially took her under his wing and sent her off. I guess you wouldn't
have known, but I think you. I think you learned through osmosis that
DaVinci sent Budhika off to go to her tower, and you know you I
don't know why moses is not the right term, but you know she's activated
her tower from the fountain. I need to take back my last statement.
Apparently last episode I said normally loves mushrooms. So you were leaking breaks,
Well you don't anymore after? Yeah, it ruined your appetite. Yeah,
you hit much rooms now that you've met some very Yeah all right, sweet,
can I do a bit of a bit of suse where the fuck it
would be? Speaking to the leader here? Yeah? So you're a few
hours into it now, everyone's drinking. Captain Chief Chief Krunk is drinking.
Great i haven't had a good drink alone. I'm going to do my best
here to embrace my Monkish teachings and hand on your shoulder and says you've got
this. I know I do. Yeah, thank you? Since just remember
everything, all right? Do I actually have to do this speaking or I
just say what I'm trying to convince him to do? To you whatever you
thinks for fun? What do you what do you try to say? I'm
going to try and just subtly, well, we're both a bit slashy washy.
Tell him the story of how I went from being a very violent person
to now someone who tries to seek resolutions through Yeah. Yeah, but I'm
not trying to make it directly apply to his current conflict with the mushroom people.
I'm just trying to show that, especially the make it so that he
can make the connection that the violence he us towards the mushroom people is similar
to the violence done towards him and two don treadden groups are stronger together than
a part. In response to you, as you're subtly saying this middle rule,
uh oh, are you trying to like like persuade him of something?
Yeah? Just real quick, was the pitbull. Did you did you explain
to anyone else, like what your plan is before you do it? He
explained it to Jesus. Jesus is giving you help, so you do have
advantage. Oh yay, I got God on my side. Jesus take of
the persuasions, takes the wheels everyone to literally have divine intervention. I do
you sure? Okay? All right? God? Well, all I know
is said be quiet and trust me. You don't know twenty four is really
good. This is what he says. In response, He says, you
know, are you are you used to fucking think that same way, like
like like nice and peaceful and all that. Sorry, but then those fucking
much from bosses took my son. They killed they kill my fucking son,
And I can't forgive for that. Man. Okay, I'm gonna try.
And I understand what you're saying, like, and I love a peaceful resolution
to all this, But it's not my fault. Those guys that they're beasts,
they're not even people, they're fucking they're they're like they're like fucking dragons.
And you know, you know I couldn't Jesus, like, I don't
know what to do. I give up. Do we kill him? I
don't know. I mean with the twenty four He's like, you're right,
man, I just don't. If there is a peaceful resolution to this,
I'll be on board. I just I don't want any more of my Noblin
people to suffer. You know. That's big of you, That's very big
of you. How about this tomorrow. You don't have to do nothing,
you have to conceive nothing. What if we go on your behalf, we
speak on behalf of the Noblins as a noble emissary, and we see what
we can arrange for you so that together you can be stronger. You know
what? You know? I like my dear a lot Noblins. We're not
the best at diplomacy. It's hard to be diplomatic wheneveryone hates you. You
know, it's odd, And I'm gonna grab I love you a lot,
motherfucker, Like I'm gonna try. What is this thing you know to me?
Like it's a sign of affection in my people? It is? Oh,
I kind of lie out for you us. Thank you, thank you,
And I'm gonna I'm gonna walk away, like I'm gonna take a person.
I'm gonna go up to my party. I'm gonna go. Yeah,
I just solved racism. That amazing. At this point, Cody's a few
drinks in, so we're just like, it's incredible. On the back,
I walked back over. I walked back over with the pizza that I made
on my role for that, because I have cook's tools. Real quick,
that's an eleven. Here's a vegan pizza. That's good enough. Here with
a vegan pizza slice, So so buy vegan. It won't be like you
have a cheese with an eleven. You don't have like a cheese alternative.
You'll be like that one time that that we ordered pizza at my house because
Olaf thought he was lactosed to my friend. Olaf thought he was lactosa tolerant,
so he made us order cheese free pizza. So yeah, so we
just had tomato and dough base on all of our pizzas. And then a
few days later he said, I don't I'm not actually likes tolerant. I
just really needed to ship Oh my god. So yeah, it's not it's
not no alternative. It's just it's just tomato or dough with mushrooms and some
peppers and things and like that's all I got. You know, that's still
good. I'll eat that. Yeah, that sounds good. Yeah. Honestly,
like being in this fantasy world that doesn't have modern accouterments of society,
this is probably like the most amazing pizza we've had in months. So yeah,
but honestly, I just tell everyone what happened, what the plan is,
what I got going. Yeah, so on to go on, We're
gonna go over there and tell them that the Noblins want peace and the prisoners
back and stuff. Yeah yeah, okay, cool. Yeah, maybe if
they give the prisoners back that I'll be like hopefully. I think we just
have to stop the Noblins from eating them because if you look at what we
put on this pizza. By the way, yeah, Cody, you might
have a problem with that. Well, you gave him a thousand girl gold.
I'm sure they could figure out an alternative means for food. Yeah,
yeah, you teach him how to farm. I didn't realize that. I'm
go ahead, Jesus is going to turn to the shark and say I'm proud
of you. Yeah, I didn't know that. Essentially, like persuading people
is like violence but with words. Yeah, it's great battle of wits right,
there's a praise. Yeap, guys, that was only like a twenty
two percent chance. You have to resort to arson twenty two Cody finish is
the loss of his drinks. Like, all right, we are we going
now? That is what we are. Sitting in the mushroom village. Everything
is on fire and everyone the hostages are dead. You're hard cut to you
guys walking out of the forest and there's just smoldering smoke in the background.
Yeah, and like one of you isn't there, like Norman's not there,
like happened last night. It's like that hangover. Are you guys going now?
Are you going now? I'm not now, I'm not morning, and
I'm fine. I'm good. You're three to one at the moment. The
Shark, I don't know what they say when you're ahead in Vegas. You
fucking settle, So I'm we're going tomorrow. Also, I'm drunk, and
everyone I want to try and fucking Noblin. So let's everyone, Okay,
Well I'm proud of you. Okay, Yeah, you've convinced everyone you want
to try to fucking Noblin, which Noblin. There's lots of Noblins at this
part. Ok I was joking. I'm good, I'm good. I was
already I was like, I was sure I heard this is going I have
a literally litany of Noblin bachelor's and bachelorettes lined up. Seriously, Look,
they only have one hole, apparently. I don't like the sanitary implications of
that. There are so there are Noblins about that that will past. They're
about, I don't know, halfway between a Noman and Goblin. They're about
the same height. Up right, they're like three feet. Yeah, they're
small fellas. We'll go all right, they're tiny, Okay, all right,
all I think I think we're just gonna be merrymaking for the rest of
the night. Okay, did Norman Sorry, Norman's too drunk. He's drunk
enough to wanna go like whiskey. All right, I yeah, right,
I think Okay, I still can't picture them. Christians already hate me enough,
but I think they will extra hate me if Jesus Fox and Noblin.
So I mean a pound at this point, like that's not gonna happen.
That was really good, Teching. I really appreciate what you did there with
the pound. That oh ship, that wasn't even intentional. Okay, the
accident, so that's not happening. It's not all right. He wouldn't.
Jesus does not, does not have Jesus does not. Nobody has sex with
a Noblin tonight. No, well, going on down this Noblin Anthony.
Anthony goes to take a piss and he just sees a novel and orgy going
on off by the tree line. I'm like, good for them, for
them, the shark's head pop out of it, you're like caught in.
It'll be fine. So my answer to chat is the Noblins don't resemble like
any animals from our world. So it's like Norman's not right. Yeah,
Norman just like snakes. I didn't think he like, yeah, he's a
fur enough, he's a scally you know that's a preferred snakes. But I
feel like animal girls are cute, and if it's like more human, if
it's humanoid, I feel like he'd be down. All right. Wait,
I guess they like represent like a naked mole rat. That's the closest thing,
right, Okay, okay, so so all right, yeah a knob
job, Oh my god, guys, I guess technical rest you don't need
it anyway. It is the thumb naked mole rat with a beard. Gosh,
I mean it's probably gonna be a Noblin right, Okay, So you
guys wake up in the morning. I mean, you guys wake up.
You weren't given lodgings. You just party through the night. So you guys
like wait in the hall or whatever they like, sleeping on the table or
on the ground. And it is now the morning. The break of dawn
shines through the trees. It's golden glow, illuminating last night's mistakes. I
didn't make any mistakes other than that vegan pizza friends. So many nobleons did.
I'm used to drinking moonshine, so whatever they got here, I'm fine.
Oh yeah, yeah, it's probably not strong enough to knock your ass
out. Yeah, okay, So I want to make clear in real life
lightweight the pitbull moonshiner. Oh definitely, okay. We we should probably just
head out right, Yeah, what direction is the mushroom camp? That's that's
a good point, Chief Chief Crunklin. Wait, Chief Crunkle Crunkle Crunkle Crunkle
stand Yeah, Chief Crunkle is asleep. He's like, I don't want to
wake them up. Yeah, guys go before we wake them. I don't
even know if you remember, So we just go and do it. I'm
gonna tap I'm gonna tap one of the guards and be like, yes,
we can talk to smogs. Where's the mushroom camp where all the noblins are
held. It's uh, it's just south of here. If you keep going,
just follow the mushlings, the little guys like, yeah, the guys,
no problem, Just follow them. Dude, you shouldn't eat them.
They're alive, all right, whatever, They're alive as much of a plant
is alive. You're saying, I shouldn't eat eat a fucking lettus because a
lettus is alive. Like, they can think, and they can speak,
and they can walk around on their little legs. They've never already spoken to
me. They just you want to come with us, do I what?
I'm not a fighter? Yeah, we're not going to fight with a king
ordered us to negotiate. Yeah, we might actually need a Noblin with us
to denote that we are the peace conference heading over. You know, it
would be weird if we're there, if we're there to broke, but we
don't have Noblin with them. He doesn't visibly anxious about the idea, but
you could convince him. Okay, let me put it this way. Do
you want to go to sleep today and just deal with your hangover? Or
do you want to come with us and possibly be a part of history.
Do you want to be the guys? When they refer to talk about the
guys, do you want to be part of them stories? We were the
guys? Well not me, it was my grandfather, but they apparently were
the guys that were the first people that nice to Noblins. Now you could
be a part of that history. Just awesome me to walk into the beast
den. I'm just terrified. We are with the strongest writer. You know,
we'll be there to that group. Persuasion role, it's with advantage.
Whoever wants you've always said something, not me. Oh it's a shock.
He's this persuasive guy now, so advantaged persuasion. Yes, seventeen is good
enough for this guy. So here is all right, I'll face my fears.
Let me let me just grab my knife. Oh no, we're gonna
make sure you have a big weapon. Something cool you got. Let me
just okay, well, let me let me pop over to my house.
You guys are welcome to come. Okay, I'm kind of curious. Yeah,
yeah, I'm kind of interested in their culture here. Yeah. Also
I need a drink of water. You guys, you guys. You walk
around the twisted tree line and eventually get to this small sort of wooden shack
like place and he he opens the door. It's quite dusty and musty in
there, and there's just like a bed on the ground, like like just
rags on the ground. He doesn't really have much furniture, just like what
you've done with the place. It's not much. I'm not a wealthy guy.
I mean no, it's humble. It's minimalist. I like it.
Yeah, so Smug then walks over to one of the little backpacks. He
pulls out a knife and he puts it in his shop. Can I actually
see that knife real quick? Yeah? Sure, hotel to you. It's
sort of quite a poorly constructed knife. That's an artificer. I have replicate
magic item. Would you rule it that I could just make the knife a
kind of better knife, not like like a lightning knife or something, but
like a good knife. You you you don't even need to really, yeah,
but enough like mechanical skill that you can fix up a knife and make
it like, you know, a nice, a really good like modern combat
knife kind of thing, like a Rambo knife. Here you go, buddy,
I go, and I'm gonna one up you. And I'm gonna take
five of my remaining silver and give it to them and go. Now you
got five silver two to buy yourself something nice. I can get myself a
zub sub. Yeah. I don't know what that is, but I was
with when you were drinking last night. No, no, no, it's
a it's a it's a it's a thing. Don't worry about it. Guys.
You know, you know, is it a hooker? What are you
talking about it? I've been very loadly okay, is it a man?
No judgment, no judgment, you know, I guess. We don't judge.
We don't judge. I'm from the future and we don't judge. It's
fine, we'll uh, we'll follow your lead. All right, let's go
great. Since you know the general direction, I'm gonna use like my sort
of you know, wilderness awareness and survival to avoid mushrooms as much as possible.
We need to see the mushrooms to go there. But sorry, yeah,
I mean, like like make sure when none of us fucking step on
them. Someone said, she zubs up on my knob to like crunkle,
you're the one that did this. You had to know what you were doing,
all right, like crun sorry, gosh, shout out that guy.
Okay, that guy. All right, let's let's keep going. All right,
let's keep going. So you guys leave the Noblin village. Oh and
you with Jesus in tow he's here too. You you are carefully trying to
avoid the little mushlings as you start going out. I don't think that's well.
I'm making sure. Oh I see you. You are like watching out.
You're like making We're on our way to make peace with these guys.
We want to. We need to show that as much as possible. Don't
kill their kids. Okay, okay. As you guys are venturing through the
forest towards you, eventually you see a small figure in the distance laying on
the ground. What in the distance? Figure in the distance laying laying against
a tree trunk, laying on the ground. Can we see what kind of
figure it is? From here? Yeah? You could if you if you
take a closer look at it. It looks like a man like a mushroom
body with a big red tip, but he's got like arms and legs.
He almost looks like, so far you've only seen huge mushling adults and tiny
little mushling children. This feels like somewhere in between, a very potential like
mushling like adolescent teenager. Gotcha is he listening to Lincoln Park and smoking?
He is sort of you can only make up those like small hazy details in
the distance. He is lying against a trip. We just want to approach
non threateningly but confidently. Yeah, you know we're going to Yeah, yeah,
exactly that Connor McGregor entering the ring kind of thing. Yeah, And
as you get closer, you notice that his eyes are like half open,
and you also notice three arrows stuck into him. Blood down his mushroom body.
Guy's has been through. He he looks up and he's like through hazy
vision, like if this was a TV show, you'd see his point of
view, and it's like he just sees like shadows and he's like yeah,
and he's like this, I'm going to cast uh cure wounds, all right,
kind of as I pulled the ut, I'm gonna like healing up the
wound and his eyes that he coming back into consciousness more and hello, he's
the somebody there. Yeah, hello humans. Yeah, my name's Cody,
Cody normal. You healed me. Yeah, we're here to help. He
immediately gets up and like gets on one knee. My father told me respect
and I am forever in your debt. Oh okay, thank good, I
mean my wounds, dude, of course you kidding me. We're here to
talk to someone who's in charge. Yeah, we need to find the mushroom
village and speak. Are you guys under attack right now? No, not
not quite. It's a little bit embarrassing. Sorry, I'm still a little
bit dizzy. My name is Button, by the way, Button, all
right, okay, so Button, Oh sir, we put some pressure on
your wounds or something for you right now. I've been been graciously here by
healed by your friend here, and I see you have companions. Wait,
doesn't cure wounds, only do like a little bit. Yeah, but like
yeah, it would like it would like close a wound, it would stop
it bleeding, that kind of thing. Ye, he's alright. I'm sorry
I was playing too much boulders Gate, I guess because I'm like, oh,
we did like one D four. I'm like, let's get in there.
You can. You could think of it if he was like essentially unconscious
and slowly bleeding out to death. He's now right again, but not fully
healed up. Right, but he is stable, but he's he's not.
Yeah, held for twelve. If this guy's like, I can do a
medical I got eighteen medicine. I could just like you know, I don't
know. Yeah, catch up as wound as best as I can. Yeah,
just make sure the arrows are out and he's not bleeding. Yeah.
Yeah, it seems that you're not a very friendly friendly fellows, good Samaritans,
if you will. Jesus goes, huh, I know that one.
So he then glazes over until his eyes eventually make contact with smog, and
he goes, wait a second, what is this vile creature doing here?
This invader? This that's murder. That's exactly that's why we're here. Okay.
I know the two of you have some bad blood. There's a little
fighting going on. You better start justifying because you you'll saved my life,
so I will not strike you down immediately. We're here to help make peace,
to make peace, to stop the fighting impossible. Also, I want
to point out, you see how he can fucking talk. You've been eating
them. I like your Your visual bits are so good for an audio podcast.
Dad agree actually stood up and turned around like he was talking to smog.
Smug actually goes. They they never talk to me. They just make
fucking noises. Well you knew they had faces. No, this is the
first one I've seen the If you're talking about the big fuckers, they're way
too high up for me to see if they have any kind of face.
At the advertisers at the banquet had faces on them. That's those are faces,
guys. I think he's just du and butts and goes appetizers. You're
eating my people appetizing. No, it's a language thing. It means paintings.
It's it's in French. Listen, don't worry about him. Okay,
these noblins are an invasive species. They've come in and they have stolen our
sacred land. Well, that's what we're talking about. We got talking about
this man. You're a warrior, right, you're a fighter. A I
am a warrior. A lot of mushlings we're not fighters by nature. A
lot of us are only fight in self defense. And I keep telling my
father that if we just have to go in the offensive and we'll wipe out
these Noblins come so all thing is from fighter to fighter, like we're not
the ones who make choices. We talked to the nobling king, we talked
to one of the big boy represented Muslins lings, and it seems like there
could be a potential for peace where tons of both sides don't have to die.
So that's what we came here to do today, to do we can.
But if things go south, that's when you come in, right,
that's your job if war does breakout. But now we need to talk to
someone in power, because we could save many. I think this is an
impossible there would there will be no peace unless the Noblins leave our forest.
Well, we need That's not your choice to make, my friends. We
need to speak to a leader. Hey, let me put it this way.
Want to fucking bet all right? Fine? We will. We will
change the world. We're sling down if you're able, if you're able to
rid the Noblins out of our forest, I am very happy to accompany you
in this. This is this is a divine journey I am happy to take
part in. I'm just well, yeah, we got Jesus. We got
Jesus, and we need it from Jesus Christ. You might know my daddy's
god, you know, being not a lie by the way, big big
in the sky, you know. No I don't. I'm not aware,
So no, I don't know who that is. Wait, guys, just
for this, for the meme, let's have Jesus helm the negotiations. So
it's just rushed and talking to him. So we have aware of Jesus.
Smug and button just talk to each other for a little while. Please go
okay, really legitimate, No, I'm just auto complete. Just see I
was great to skip to the end. Yeah, we'll hold it to skip
the dialogue and then I'll be like, okay, can you take us to
somebody in charge where we can have a real conversation about this. Yeah,
that's where we hard cut the whole forest burning. It was worth a shot.
Every piece of dialogue is so hard cutable to something. We will change
the world. Hard cut to forest fire. Well fuck, we tried,
all right, but I can't do that. But before we go, I
just want to confirm one thing. A lot of humans you're not associated with
that other human? Oh no, no, I don't know what her name
is. She's got the orange hair in the bow and arrow. I hold
up the arrows. She's the one that shot you with these things, doesn't
she Yeah, she's with the Noblins. Technical question. When cure wounds is
cast, the arrows come out or did we pulled? I pulled. I
pulled them out and then cast cure wounds so that it would My brain just
goes away something. Yeah, No, it's fine. Here's smog. You
want these arrows, I just hand them a parent. I ye, she's
not with us. She's not with us. I never learned how to use
one of these, smug Listen to me. You're gonna need these arrows,
trust me. Gosh, okay, you have a ball. I don't help.
You'll need them. You'll need them, though, trust me on this.
I need You'll know, you'll know when the time comes. I hug
him right. Anthony just turns into William, and William thing, okay,
Well, I will be your guide then. I just I'm not a fan
of this one. Keep him far away from me. He points over to
her to smoke smart walk in the back. Hey, no, no,
he should I was already leading you. He should better than you. This
is a great example of peace exercise that we can work on right now.
Yeah, isn't try try walking next to each other? How about some of
us. I'll walk in the back with Jesus, and then you guys can
walk in the middle together, and then Cody and the Shark can walk in
the front and hold hands. What do you we want to sure these guys
have vicious killers? I am not gonna get Well, well, that's the
trust that he won't kill you while you're walking together. Right to be there?
Who was full of arrows when we got here. He probably deserved it.
It was smart. Do you even care about peace? Do you want
to be in war? I just I don't. I'm I'm conflicted. I
am conflicted. Okay, listen, smug smo, listen. We'll make sure
you get a zeb blubb or whatever after this is done. But you've got
to help us out here with this. Okay, Okay, you know you
gotta ask yourself a simple question. I just think you want to be the
guy. Do you want to be the guy that saves creates world peace and
saves many of his kind? Or do you want to be the guy running
back to town being like they're coming to kill us and then many people die
on both sides. Which guy do you want to be? You want to
be the savior? You want to be the guy? Want to be the
hero? You're right, I understand to start acting like a hero. I
just don't trust them, all right, cause I promise you both, you
don't need many casualties. If if, if, if this goes down,
smart and you don't need to trust them. You need to trust us.
Okay, okay, fine, you will not be murdered as long as you
don't attack anybody. We're going to be there. We're gonna make sure nothing
happens. I'll chilly with you then, all right? Then right, well,
yes, does Button have a weapon? He does? He has a
He has a sword. Okay, he has a sword. Is it a
mushroom sword? Is it? It's yeah, but like it is still a
steel blade, but the hilt is like mushroom themed. Oh that's cute.
That's that's cute. Yeah. Yeah, those two are going to walk together
and at the at the front of the pack. All right, him,
keep an eye on him. They they they walk in sort of awkward silence.
Yeah, do you do you want to try to get them to like
talk to each other. Yeah. Yeah, I was gonna say, do
you want to like give them like probig It's like on those like blind dating
shows where you give them like both a question. So I'll be like,
so we met you a while ago, right, Smog, I wanna I
want to tell Button about that story how we know each other. I want
to tell who Button? Is that his name? Yeah? Button? Yeah?
Third Button, Sir Button, Yes, you're the one who killed the
prince. And he pulls out a knife immediately it's the really good combat the
rambow. I'll have you know. I have you if you're talking about that
Noblin that was emblazoned with fake silver, I have you know that he attacked
us first. It was purely in self defense, all right, okay,
And but as like as he pulls out the knife, you see Button,
he he pulls out his sword and has this like electricity bursting around it,
and in his old the hand there's like a little ball of like lightning.
All right, everybody just calm down now. Yeah, Okay, I'm just
gonna say it to Smog. I kind of like dived at him as he
pulled out the knife, SiGe of him in my house. I'm just gonna
say to him, if you fight this guy, none of us are gonna
help. Okay, Sorry, he will kill you and you will die for
nothing. Right, I don't know. I don't know, Cody. I
made a really good knife. You guys, you're gonna make a lightning knife,
Anthony. But you guys were telling me about how he's a victim of
circumstance. But he's a fucking buttery. He killed, he killed. Okay,
okay, okay, pause for a moment. Okay, where I come
from, we have a thing called the legal system, all right, now,
Like you know that you've heard, did you see it? Did you
see the murder take place with your own eyes? Smug? Do you know
anything else about any of the other context or situations that went on to that?
I think I just know that that the prince was was Friday Live right,
right, So you don't know the whole story though. You just heard
something from somebody who heard it from somebody else. That's all you know.
So that's not cool to judge people based off of that alone. Are you
put in the King Elijah? No? Misinformation not the same thing as lying.
Also manipulation, which is also very common where I'm from. There's a
lot of corporation's long story feeling. The king is very sad about his son,
and it's very hard for him to do this. But the king was
the better man, and it's okay with trying to get peace if it saves
yes, many of his kind. So I just the that the mushroom guide
puts his like thunder away, his lightning away. You've got to keep that
one under control. These guys are like wild animals. Oh that's funny.
That's what they said about you as well. Oh okay, there you go.
You guys are both wild animals. We're all wild animals, aren't we.
Okay? I actually a cody, but you really are? Yeah?
Right, good one. Okay, are you going to try and get to
talk again? Or now you're just keeping them upon all? Right? Like
think I'm happy with they're awkward silence. They're not gonna pull weapons on each
other, Okay they can, yeah, no, as long as they're not
murdering each other, I'm gonna not yeah, yeah, yeah, okay,
continue walking in silence to each other. But buttons, a button does turn
to you, guys and say so. I've always been curious about life outside
of these woods. Oh yeah, and you guys are outside of something.
Oh yeah, what's it you can say? Other worldly? Yeah, what's
it like? Yeah? If you've got any like burning questions, obviously we
can Yeah we can go happy to answer. We've been all over. Yeah,
I'm just what's it like? Just I've I've studied magic from a young
age. Okay, because us US mushlings aren't aren't usually ones to study different
combat methods, but I you know, being grown up in wartime, I
I felt it important, Tom, and I heard there were powerful magic users
out there in the world. Oh yeah, I know a guy named mister
Wellington. He's a skeleton and he's like magic. Mm yeah, you know
what's crazy. I'm standing right here. Yeah, I was gonna say,
like, if you're talking about powerful magic users and I am, we got
one right here. Well, Norman, no offense, but like mister Wellington
would kind of kick your ass, only only kind of. Look that's kind
of a big deal though you can't win. Wait wait, Anthony Wellington can't
fight, but he can't die either, But he wouldn't beat anyone's ass,
So he's gonna have me to death. He's gonna you would you. I
think you would run out. You would run out of salmona before he runs.
Salmon is a s in eighty years because that's how he beats his opponents.
Well, that's a win. Is still a win when it comes to
magical prowess. I definitely have the upper hand, like I could do more
well, really and shoot a fireball in the air. He's really clever though
he's a skeleton. I don't know. If I don't know, I just
I have bowled under the fucking flesh. Yeah, Norman, what's your intelligence
score? It says sixteen right here? Sixteen? Wait what you never increased
it to eighteen? That's constitution. That's constitution. So it's intelligence is not
ineligence, is what you're talking about here? Eighteen eighteen eighteen? A right
character? Huh? What are so? I mean? Button over hears this
is as So you're you're a spell Sorry, that's not his voice, that's
that's Smug's voice. So you're a spell caster then? Yeah, credible.
We've got to show each other's spells sometimes after this whole hullaballoo has been taken
care of, absolutely, Yeah, that would be really cute. You two
like trading spell books. Incredible. I could fly. It's really cool.
You could fly. I can fly, I can turn invisible. I didn't
sort of magic. That sort of magic wasn't possible. I just thought it
was like an elemental thing. You just create elements and use it. I
have some of that too, Like I can like create a wall of fire,
or like a whole wall of fire. I could create a fire,
yeah, I could do yeah, orbs chromatic orb kind of thing. Your
restage can change the lighting in his room without even touching anything. That spell
Daniel Green has changed out of his suit. I think he yeah. Now
what I'm doing a transition of the to the monk. Very good. I'm
literally telling stories for our visual audio listeners only audio. Anyone listening to the
podcast version of this, don't you tell them? Okay, they don't get
to know. I'm gonna tell them. You guys, walk, You continue
walking through the forest until eventually you you you're a blind viewer. What are
you gonna do? Find me? All right? Blind person shows up at
your house to beat the ship out of you. And he's like the blind
person out at your house and he's like, you guys, dog motherfucker.
Yeah, he's he's just like you just smell so bad. I was able
to track you down. Man. You guys, you guys. As you
continue in the forest and you continue low conversations, you eventually reached this area
when you look up and you see these giant like I'm talking absolutely oh,
he left gone. You know, he's welcome back. What happened? I
don't know, cack on, welcome back. You see these giant like bigger
than the mushroom guy you saw before, like absolutely enormous, just kind of
sitting there mushroom people, but they are welding size that they're building size,
but they're lifeless and they have things carved into them. And the button turns
to you and says, as you're looking up at them, and he says,
these are our elders. It is tradition that when you when you die
of old age as a muscling your your body become part of our society,
and we build our homes within the bodies of our elderly. Wow, not
many of those elders are there, not many. Not many mushlings live that
long. A lot of mushlings die as children. And I can see why
you'd want to celebrate you know their long lives like this. Yeah, it's
practical if nothing else, very practical, very very sill. I go over
and I feel like, what is it more stone at this point? Like
does the mushroom like wow, okay, yeah, it's very good, but
it still has a little bit of that like mushroom texture to it. I
see immediately as you guys approach the city to mushling guards. They are slightly
bigger. I'd say they're about seven foot. You know, they're probably like
they're adults, but they're not like quite big big. They point down.
Ah, they look down at you guys, and they say, sir Button,
what are these outsiders doing? You brought a Noblin here? Sorry,
I'm sir Buston. It's like, are we waiting for someone else to talk
about? Someone else joins the call and like I am so button, I
went nuts joins the call for five seconds, like pieces, these are ambassadors.
They've come to talk to talk peace. I said that they King would
hear them out, but I didn't make any promises, and that both of
them look down. They say, well, I hope they're not like the
last ambassador of peace. Where where is she? Ah is an acquaintance of
yours. Well, we know her. Yeah, yeah, we haven't really
like hung out any you know she got away? Oh okay, yes,
thank god? Did she kill anyone? Yes? Oh? How many Mike
condolences that he looks over and you see there's like a little funeral happening in
the corner. Oh gee, wow, that's happening right now. The daily
funeral is getting is larger today. Mmmm. What if I told you that
we had an option that would make it so your daily funerals are far smaller
forever? Well, I maybe even weekly. I guess the King will heal
you out, heal me out. What did you just say, sorry,
I have a speech impediment. This character is the shark, not me.
I just want to make that clear. Speech impediments are disgusting. You fucking
weird. He just fucking squishes you. Le There was legitimately, I think
I saw someone who was like, why does Rostich give so many characters lisps?
They're so awful to listen to. And I'm like, what about real
people who have lisps? You're just rude, Like that's just that's just unnecessary,
that's very rude. That's very Yeah, Okay, you guys that you
venture inside one of the giant mushroom buildings mean a lot of these visits in
one of the elders, Yeah, one of the elders, right until eventually,
in one of the elders, like this central elder, you come inside
and there's a there's a giant mushrooms almost as big as an elder, and
he's he's looming over as you come in. He takes up quite a lot
of space inside, and he's sitting down and there's a couple of This is
a big cavernous space, by the way, like absolutely cavernous, and there
are four other giant mushrooms sitting in chairs around him, and one of them
you recognize as Baron Fung, the one that you made equateds with earlier.
And Sir Button immediately runs over to his dad's side and stands by Baron Fung.
And Baron Fun is dead. We should have mentioned this way earlier.
I was thinking of bringing barn Fun, but I was like, yeah,
he bunched me in the face. I guess I'll agree Baron Fun. When
I say Baron Fung, seems he he raises hello back again. No you,
And but to make good on our promise we made to you father,
you know, you know these these outsiders. Yes, we had a brief
altercation. But everything's good now, it seems. I see you've brought and
captured a Noblin for us, just brought just the first part of that sentence.
And a booming voice echoes from there from above, and you hear,
oh, I speak well looking up a shape. Yeah, he fills up
a lot of the space. You could see. He's like close to being
the size of the elders right. Oh, and he looks down upon you.
I feel like I should bow, I feel like I should pay respect
and just like lower my head. I mean, button is on his knees
bowing. Yeah, I'll kind of follow his lead. I guess I won't
be quite Jesus, but Jesus, Jesus goes. You know when in Rome
is the saying, I mean, you know you know what that means.
It's like when you're in a place you do is Jesus. But the thing
is for me when in Rome crucifixion, you know, brother, ye Romans
hated me. Oh man, I haven't been crucified yet. Luckily I've been
escaping it so far. But I've been hearing it on the winds. I've
been hearing it on the wind thinking about it. Yeah, I be I
know that they want it so bad. They want this, they want this.
Just to see how red are his eyes right now? Norman also bouts
the star is confused. He's like, what the fuck am I supposed to
do? I with heard of Cody and like, you got you got this,
take the lead. I think they like you. I'll raise my head
again to kind of like try and see the face of this thing. I
don't know if I'm like because the perspective, I guess he's giant face staring
down at you over right. Yeah, it takes up quite a lot of
it. I'm gonna luck eyes with him, like we're here to discuss peace
between the Mushlings and the Noblins. The whole room shakes with his little laugh.
Yeah, talks very slow. Yeah, it takes a long time for
it might be a while us ticket, Yeah, for us to get through
this whole peace deliberation. It's like how The Nightfall and Lord of the Rings
very reminiscent of that. Yeah. I guess they are quite end like,
aren't they They're just like, yeah, mushroom and sorry, we believe peace
is possible and we can make it happen. Hmmm, I would like to
hear what you have to say in my opinion piece. Is impossible unless the
Noblins leave our sacred land I have lived for hundreds of years. Mm hmm.
And these Noblins, I think that they can take my people's homes away.
Norman West, can someone put Homie on two times feet or why?
I think I think we can, Cody. Maybe I'm like looking down at
like the big guys in the seats, I'm like, any of you guys
want to speak? Okay, so the food looks so you look down at
them and the difference big mushroom people. One of them looks over and says,
I don't want to speak to people like you. I cast haste on
the big mushroom guy because I have that yeah, willing creature. Yeah is
he willing? Is he willing? They speak? They use magic all right?
Right? Yeah, but he turns into like twister, and he's like
probably the heyes, doubling a minute, let's go. He's doubles the speed
of his talking, so now he will just squeak at normal speed. Okay,
Hello, so you've made me really my understanding. Obviously you've been here
your whole life. What exactly what constitutes the holy sacred ground? The forest
itself. We planted this forest, my ancestors planted this forest, and we
live in I'm having that weird effect where you listen to an audiobook on tea
time speed up. Yeah, now now I'm like, slow the fuck down,
rusted, listen, it's forest and my answers. I have potted all
these trees many millennia ago, and we we were we were blessed with life
inside of this forest, and we've been living here our entire lives. Okay,
so the only peace solution in your mind is for the noblins to leave.
Yes, they are blight. They kill our people, they kill my
children, they kill they they they their buildings. There is disrupting the ecosystem
of this precious sacred forest. We are, our ancestors were divine beings,
and this is a sacrilegious act. Yeah. No, I want to be
very clear here. Yeah. Well, first, what is your name?
My name is King Morale Morale Mokay, I'm with you, Brom, I'm
with you. Yeah, hey, shut up, okay, I'm with you.
Sorry, I think my my companions have something to say. Yeah,
your hand up, his hand up first, his handed up first. Okay,
okay, okay, thank you appreciate it. I just would like to
put forward that I don't know if you're aware of this, but Noblins have
literally not encountered one person to be kind to them and their entire existence until
we came along and showed them a bit of kindness. And after that happened,
they were great. We had a wonderful time partied, and quite frankly,
I think they're a bit misunderstood. Let me ask you this. You
say they've killed your children? Did you not kill the king of the Noblin's
child? Is there not guilt on both parties? When does the fight in?
Does it go on forever until some side is completely that sided? Or
maybe two hated repressed groups can come together and find some form of unity to
uplift this forest into the Silicon Valley. I would know what that is,
into the New York of forests. I mean, yes, well, oh
okay, someone said, yes, we're gone, all right, Yes,
yeah, good job, shark. I give I give the piple a high
five. Firstly, firstly, the likability of the Noblins is none of my
business. I assume that they are unliked outside of here because they have caused
similar problems to other people's and other mushlings around the world. Well they didn't,
so there, you're the whole premise of that is wrong. Yeah,
they're may They're mainly the short and ugly, and that's why people don't like
them. No, that can against you, smug Hey, you're not ugly.
You're not ugly. You are show we like you. Yeah, what
so I'm only ugly. I'm only not ugly because you like me. But
I would be ugly if you didn't like me. That's I had them gold
and I just hear them a golden and I go sh I. Secondly,
we only fight in self defense. The Noblins are the aggressive. If any
Nobl in life has been lost, it is because they attacked us. First.
We recently captured a group of Noblins that were sent to assassinate me.
All right, Oh, we talked to the king. We talked to the
king of the Noblins, and they are They want peace as well. Sadly,
I don't think they would be willing to leave. So the question is
do we go to all out war or if you want peace and they want
peace, why don't I propose a treaty. It's like, no more murders,
no more eating or killing each other. Otherwise you break the treaty and
the boys come arson. I'm just kidding. So you're telling me, you're
telling me that you will allow a group of murderers to come into my people's
forest, construct their uh, that their buildings kill my people, and I
should just allow them to stay here. Well, the problem is they've been
run off from everywhere they've lived their entire life. No matter where they go,
they have no home. So they finally found what they think they thought
is their home now and they're being they they think that you guys are the
ones attacking them. I feel so my thing is that if if you try
to force them to leave, they will fight you. And so why don't
we just if we do want peace, why don't we sign like a treaty
where there's no more killings, no more murder than you guys just co inhabit
together because their king wants it. Yeah, and think of it this way.
What if the Noblins did beat you, kick you out of this forest,
and you had to go find a new forest and you settled there and
everyone immediately treated you like you were an invasion. And even though it was
your last resort, they have nowhere to go. How they die if they
leave, they're protecting their own. You understand how disrespectful this is to me
and my people right, well, position I take lightly on top of that,
You understand how I'm I can only take your word for these allegations towards
the Noblin people. Well, that's why we would. We would we would
draft up like a ridden treaty and you the king and leader, and then
and the Noblin king leader would have to sign it. And if one person
and if they were to break this treaty, then there's one side that fault.
I'm just saying. It seems like you guys don't want any of more
of your people to die, and you don't want to continue to fight,
and that's kind of what they want as well. You if you let the
goblins go and then they don't, they don't Noblin, Sorry, they don't
attack you anymore. You don't attack them anymore. And we have a treaty
worked out to like boundaries of where you know they live and you guys live
and you know everything like that, and it'll all get worked out section of
a sacred forest. Are you saying that in the future anybody could just come
in here? And no, that's not what There's a charter, there's a
document that will have a strict rule on what you can and can do.
But expectation it sets. They have the talking stick, have the talking stick.
His voice booms around. Okay, well, haste, haste is about
to run out here, so it only lasts a minute. I am the
king here. The reason I say this is we taught well of the other
got another butt froom's name fun Fung. The reason I say is I talked
to Baron Fung and he didn't want any more of the little guys to die.
And this is the only the only way I feel like we could stop
more people from dying is some sort of rule. You can convince the noblins
to leave. They have not noblins to leave, right Okay. Baron Foon
does pipe up at this point, and he says, my leash, if
if I could be pertinent, I think that the man in the monk robes
has a point and that we we shouldn't have any bloodshed anymore. We still
have they, we still have plenty of forest and holy ground. And then
as he says this, the three other barons go, you can't say that
they invaded our land if we if we give them an inch, they'll take
a mile. Mmm. Ah. You guys are in a tough situation.
But just to make it super simplistic, it does seem like it's inevitable war.
Or you give them a little piece of land, you guys might win
the war, but people will die in the process, or you might lose
the war and you might lose all of it. So a small sacrifice for
potentially a greater gain like a threat. It's not a threat. I lean
to Cody. Should we threaten these people? All right? Okay, okay,
we haven't. Right, we've had enough debilitation. You've you've spoken your
piece. We will do a very crucial, uh persuasion role, and it
will be a hard role, but it is doable. Right you are you
are going with the you know, stopping bloodshed angle? And I mean it
is true. They haven't they they haven't dealt with the problem already themselves because
they know that they don't want more people to die, right, So it
is a reasonable angle to come at them with. Does either the shark or
Norman, want to give me a advantage for pasi role because you are helping
each other. So either one definitely the shock you have to get above twenty
on this roll, Oh god, for it to even for him to not
laugh you at you have advantage if you have to get a twenty for him
to not just be like this is blasphemy, this is madness and kick you
down a pit. The whole. They have their own, they have their
own hole, the big communal hole. Get on o god, God,
oh my god. As a twenty five, that would have been even a
very hard role. You cred it. Holy shit, we ended a war.
Yeay, we solved racism. The giant, the giant king morale as
the haste wears off on him, he's he thinks, mmmmm. The haste
was giving him adrinaline, and once it dreamed, he's like, ah,
fuck, I want to fight now. Actually, no, ace does give
you a thing. I think at the end. Oh, the target can't
move or take actions until after the extra They have lethargy. He has hate
clarity. It is disrespectful to my people, and it is a terrible blight
on our holy forest. But if we can come to some sort of arrangement
two keep them contained inside their small village like a city state. Perhaps then
I may be happy to keep it like that, as long as there is
no more violence, no more murders of mushlings, and no more encroaching on
our territory outside. At the top of that, I would like a caveat
that says, if any other people's groups invade our holy forest, the Noblins
have to defend the forest with us. I'm writing all this down in a
fancy like parchment. That's just there. They become a vassalized state of the
mushlings. Okay, yeah, I'm writing that down. The shark is just
in the back, just fucking doing the Charleston. So that is what the
crit gets you. That that is the That is the only way I can
think of making this guy agree to this. I get it. But you
have to also get King Krunkle to agree to this. Yeah, that might
be The next stage is bringing the king over. Maybe it's some like neutral
points, so that brings a giant fist down. Uh, just pick up
a pen. Okay, here's your pen, signs the document. Wow,
the ship is impeccable. I had practiced in my youth you did. It
looks great, all right. Cool, Well, that's a good first meeting
for peace. Good good person, great talk, guys. Words is so
good. We also agree. I'm like, I'm so glad you did that
because I was so ready to take the mushroom side. Jesus turns the pit
bull, puts a hand on his shoulder and goes, I'm proud of you
again. Good job, good job, pitfull. Now, as part of
the peace treaty, it does say the novelins that you captured are allowed to
go home now. So we're gonna escort the No no, no, no,
no, no, wait, you signed it. It's on the paper.
No no, he would have read it after the king trick him.
It's that would be crazy. That would be crazy. Oh, so that
it doesn't go to other guy signs it right, even if that is a
sign of good faith. Let us walk back to the Noblin village with those
prisoners released. Now as a sign of good faith, I will give you
no no, no, no, we're asking too much. Please please please
please let me take I know I'm talking about let them finish and finish.
I will give you one of them. All right, I can do we
can do better. How about this as a sign of good intent and good
relations. You take the prisoners with some of your soldiers to the border.
We take the king to the border. You watch him sign it, You
let the prisoners go, and it's your first diplomatic act. You guys do
between each other. I can't move from my house anymore. Oh I didn't.
Oh you're okay? One soldier where one prisoner? Yeah, Baron Foong
over here can accompany us or something thing one of your cons constituents, I
will say, Baron Fung and Barren Portobella can go. Ah, okay,
nice. They're all named after mushrooms. Does Barn Portobello look like a Portobello
mushroom? I guess so a little bit. Yeah, Like do they look
like different types of mushrooms or are they all kind of the same? Right?
Wait? Is there a Baron Shitake? No, there is an Unfortunately,
they they do all look uniform in their mushroom type. There isn't a
lot, but the variation comes with little flourishes on them, if that makes
sense. They all have the same sort of storky yellow body with faces on
them and big red mushroom cap hat. But some of them will have like
different colorations or different things to indicate variety in the moment, right right,
Can I do my impression of Baron Psilocymon? Who hat? Okay, here
we go. Wow, look at that table. That's a nice table.
Wow, this is a beneficial impression that feels like a table bro audio listeners.
I don't know how to describe it. Actually I can't. I can't
describe it because I don't know how to describe what I just want. Yeah,
there's no trying to describe how Daniel Green felt up a table. There's
no point. Yeah, okay, well all right, I'm very happy with
the arrangements we've made today. Yeah, it's been a long journey. Can
we spend the night in your village? Yeah, we want to sleep.
Well, I'd like to look around the place to have some of your local
food. Do you guys eat? Would be so funny if they just ate
Noblins just like the exactly same, the same banquet as the night before,
except it's just all Noblin appetizer, that's all it is. No, they
don't eat food. They actually get with the new shoes on the ground,
and that's what it is. Part of the issue with the the Noblins building
their stuff and structure the ecosystem means that they get less nutrients because they're digging
their holes. Yeah, but wait, mushrooms get like nutrition from like it's
it's just like pollution ship like that like minup. Yeah, but feces would
provide like that's like fertile peces. I don't think is the main pollution that
worried about. Yeah, I think I think they're down. I think I
think if we if we arrange this, and then eventually the mushlings find out
about the fact that these guys just shipping holes, they'll be like, oh
yeah, yeah, I just this is just a lack of communication. They'll
be like, hey, brother, you don't need those holes. We'll just
lie down and open our mouths. A utopia is born. Oh no,
maybe maybe sitting in the hole with like excitement, like a knife hand on
a little BiVO. And on that day the thous in year Peace Treaty between
the Noblins and Mushlings was forged by the piss Treaty. Pissed treaty. Yes,
all right, then maybe I want sample the local food, but you
know, I'd like to look around, spend the night in this wonderful city.
H all right, spend the night in the wonderful city. You do
whatever you're gonna ask him? Yeah? Uh he actually he looks down and
he checks his Google document. Okay, yeah, oh, they have computers,
they're very advanced. Actually, no, he says, we don't.
We don't. We don't have a city name because the forest is just our
home. I got it. I mean it's it's just the forest. It's
just home. Or because we're from outside, just so we have a name
that we can refer to it as you know, when we're talking to other
people, so they know where this place is. Can I suggest a name
if you Mushwick is north of here. I am aware of mush I didn't
even know that was the thing I was. I would like, I would
like, is this teching Anthony here before? That's musik to it. I'm
happy you remember Mushwick because I remember I remember episode one. I watch it
nightly. Do you know? Uh? Yeah? What do you well?
What is your suggestion, little one? What about sacri Yeah? What does
it mean? It's I'm from a far away land. It's called America.
Sacramento is the place in America where you know, Joy lives and gains.
Wow. Wow, I guess I'm going to have you do a persuasion check
whether DC is lower on whether or not. I I'm so proud of us,
and none of us have made the low hanging fruit joke, which I'll
say once we're offstream. I just want to say I'm real proud of the
whole crew. Yeah, fifteen with zero modifier is really good. Yeah,
fifteen, it clears it. You're good, sweet guys. Town Sacramento.
I like the ring to it. What do you think barons? And the
barons look up for me? They don't. They're not convinced, but they
agree with their king. Yeah. Yeah, Well, I hope you enjoy
Sacramento. Hey, I feel right at home and may the story of bless
you. Oh you you guys. You guys leave and enjoy your night out
in the town of Sacramento. In Sacramento, we're hanging out in the side.
You guys, tell me each what you're going to be doing this night
before we end the episode. I know that they just get their nutrition from
the soil, but I will still go around and see if there's any you
know, any food or drink that they have just for fun. Maybe there's
something that I can enjoy. Otherwise, I just want to kind of see
the sites. Ord he likes mushrooms, he likes nature, he likes the
mushroom people, lots and lots of mushroom people. I'll be finally upgrading my
monk levels to get some new abilities. Yes, yes, between yes,
between episodes, you wire harder of a second and get your monk abilities.
Now you have successfully gay owned your monk levels. This was like the monk
trial. This is just yeah, he passed my tongue, Like, this
is complete. Your wisdom modifier increases so that you can become a monk multi
flass. Congratulations. Yeah, it turns out once the sharks stopped just living
in his PTSD, he's kind of good guy. I like we would be,
uh, what is what is? What is Anthony and Norman in the
shop doing it? Norman, you go first, you first, saved me
for last. There's there's not much to do here. They'd not you can't
really they don't have like drinks or food, and the women aren't hot.
Just like sucks. Norman just soaks. I'm actually no war is declared.
There's actually there's actually a fun event. Who you can go. It's it's
daily. Every day they have a funeral. You could uh funeral without Yeah,
god, it's like your daily wild crest. At the funeral, I
look for butt and I'm like gonna, I'm gonna show him some cool spell
and flex a bit. Yeah yeah, you and you can hang out a
button m and uh okay the shock what are you doing? The pitbull?
I know, I genuinely attend the funeral, and I encourage our little novelin
friend to do the same because I think it's a sign of respect for the
fallen comrades that would be good for him. He's like, I think they
had funerals and you didn't know they fucking talk. Dude, you need to
go, all right, come with me. You need to pay respects because,
let's be honest, you all didn't know you were murdering sentient people.
You were killing a lot of them, like a lot. All right,
So let's just you don't have to be you don't have to cry. I'm
not you're not gonna cry. You're not gonna cry or anything. You're just
gonna stand solemnly with me, all right, Okay, all right, cool,
no pissing on their dead bodies. I feel like an idiot for bringing
a knife. Now, I guess what we tried to tell you. Guess
what we tried to tell you. I understandable. What's the lesson you should
have learned? No knives, No listen to Scott, damn it, you
can always have too many knives. No, well, I just listen to
us, That's all I want to say. Okay, okay, listen to
you. Right, you out the guy. I want to take you on.
I want to take you on as a pupil to become a monk.
All right, yeah, I always follow through on these things. Is Smug
going to become a brewer? Yeah? But the classic pile promised that it's
just not going to come come true. Okay, Anthony, finally I'm gonna
I'll attend the funeral as well, and then afterwards, later that night,
I'm just gonna find a quiet spot and just be tinkering with my necklace.
Yeah, and just be like, Okay, yeah, that was wild with
the whole robot thing. I wonder if I mess with it again, if
I could get the robot to come back, and I'm gonna fuck it,
not fuck it. He's feeling very loadly so I'm gonna try to fuck my
neck. Listen. Yeah, I'll funk with it, and it's gonna activate
yet activates. Yeah, so roll I'm like, so I wonder if I
do with that? They're oh, fus, yeah, you know. Then
we'll do this. We'll do this. This will be what we So we
have a table now for Anthony's we have created a table for Anthony's like descendants.
And so he rolls a dice, Roll me that D twenty and we'll
see which Anthony from history or future you become twelve. Let's take a look.
Oh you actually you have it right, But I have it. I
got it. I know which one it is. Yeah, I also want
to look at it so I can get it or do we leave it a
mystery for the next This is one. I'll describe it for the audience and
then we'll okay, okay, So I've slash away a big burst of light.
Yeah yeah, and in your place, twelve, you the audience sees.
I don't actually how you've made this person look, but I imagine him
with a big mustache, like a curly like staeh. Absolutely, and he's
got quite fancy looking clothes on. He's got a paint brush in hand,
and he's looking down. And you have you have summoned Antonio, the Italian
painter. Give me your best Italian accent. Oh, God, to endit.
I don't know if I've ever tried to do an Italian accent. I
I it's me, Antonio. I don't know what I have, but I
know what has. An Italian American gangster. You fucking brick to be continued