This is the two seventeen Recovery Podcast with Corey Winfield. If you kind of
look deeper at the situation, you know, which I'm sure you will,
because everything that we go through is an experience that we learned from. And
Justin Burke, I come right in. I am very sneaky about it.
You'll be talking to someone and I'll just come in and sit at my desk
and just bust one out real quick. It is the ninth of February twenty
twenty four. My name's Corey Winfield. I'm Justin Burke. Hey, we're
just gonna bust one out. That sounds about right. That's what I said.
Coming in my office. Sit down, We'll bust one out, justin
yeah, real fast, like because we're gonna go see some stand up comedy
tonight at the Traverse City Comedy Club. Yep, mm hmmm. Who's there?
Oh not for sure, but what but you know something about them?
No? Oh yeah, trying to get no you said something earlier. It
was funny because you asked me who was there, and I was like,
I don't know, some brother from Muskegan. You're like, oh, that's
great, it's black guy. Black guys are really funny. Yeah, that's
why I tried to walking you into that conversation, but you didn't know.
I wasn't being politically. I didn't want to well because I was like,
it's racist, justin You're like, what, what's racist? I was like,
you just said that black people are funny. You're like, that's comedians.
That's not what I was saying, and what I had you all confused.
So that's why I think you were kind of afraid to engage in this
conversation with me a little bit right now on the two seventeen Recovery podcast,
which we talk about recovery, we talk about our days and our lives in
recovery. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I'm a doctor
or a therapist or a counselor. I'm just telling you what I'm going through
in my own recovery, justin you're kind of doing the same thing. And
I have a little over five years, you have a little over four.
So you know, we're doing the thing, and we're making dreams come true.
And there are dreams and other people they don't have to understand them,
no, because if you're sitting around waiting for other people to understand your dreams
and your goals, you'll be sitting there forever yep and duck. Yeah,
that's my experience of it all. Yeah, And that's what I can share,
is my experiences. But some people if you tell them your dreams and
your goals, Like what if I tell people I'm going to make a movie
and they look at me like, okay, buddy, let them. Yeah,
it's up to me to make the movie, you know. And I
know I've been talking about this movie a lot lately, but that's something I
want to do, and that's a dream and a goal, you know,
And I will make it one day. It might suck. I doubt it
will, but it could. I don't know, but I'm gonna make it.
Yeah, I'd like to see it. Yeah, and then I'm gonna
post it to Amazon Prime Video if they're still around. I don't know.
Like again, this isn't like, hey, I'm going to make a movie
next week or next year even And those are great goals to set for yourself,
but I'm not at that point yet, right, you know, I'm
still in the like investigating what do I need to do? What do I
need script? It would be nice, that's what I'm working on now.
But you have to you have to take those steps and you have to go
through that process. If I was to sit down and say I'm going to
make a movie by next year, I'm going to have it completed, Yeah,
that's unrealistic. That's a very unrealistic goal. Now, if I have
a script ready and I have like like, I'm sure there's like eighty five
different steps that I need to do before I even start with the cameras,
even though I started buying the cameras first, which they do come in handy.
Movie we want to mess around and write fake Colone commercials like we did.
Yeah, that was the day. That was great. Yeah. But
just the fact that knowing where you're at in your goal setting and when your
dreams and the stuff you have on your plate, just know where you're at
and know that it's a process. Just like being sober. You can't get
ten years today, Nope, can't get ten years tomorrow unless you have nine
years and three hundred and sixty four days or whatever. Unless like your sober
day is ten years tomorrow, then you can have ten years tomorrow. But
if you're just trying to be sober, ten years tomorrow and you just started,
just got out of treatment. That's not going to happen, So just
take your time with it and do the best you can. There's a lady
that came in our office today and I guess she's across the way here at
our little office that we got neighbors and stuff. And she came across and
she was like, hey, how do I don't know. First she asked
if we had any like audio or anything like that, or books on being
sober or wanting to you know, stop drinking, to help people stop drinking.
And I chuckled, Ye, you can't help people stop drinking. People
gotta want that, you know, they have to want that, and there
are tools out there that will help them. But you know, I didn't
really correct her in that, and I was like, here you go.
And because Mitch was like, well, I why don't we have an app
or you know, there's our podcast or no, I said, I go
out there. So I put my cape and I fly out to the front.
Captain save them all here? How can I help you? But we
but we started talking and I guess the guy, I guess, I don't
know. She does some kind of therapy or something. But like she knows,
like she's not a recovering person, so she doesn't really know, no,
But so she came over to the people that do and that was that
was pretty cool. And I gave her some books and I think I don't
even think I've told her about the podcast, but I don't know. It's
something that it can't help people. You know, we we like to go
around, but we like to have fun. You know, there's there's that
factor of it that really keeps us sober. Yeah, you said something to
me the other day. You're like, I've just been laughing ever since I
met you, dude. It's true, though. Yeah, we sent abstract
art back and forth to each other and treatment that was so much fun.
I almost sent you one the other day. Yeah. Yeah, it was
fun because you know, art is art, and you can make art and
canna have fun. Yeah. It's one of those little things, man,
that there's the trick that kind of pushed me through it this time. And
I've said it a million times. When I watched that treatment center for the
last time for the fifteenth time, I remember walking down that hall thinking,
Okay, I can hate this and just be miserable, or I can say
screw it, I'm gonna have fun and I'm gonna learn about myself at the
same time, right. And I think that's one thing that helped me though,
too, because I was at treatment for my first time, and I
was learning a lot about myself and you'd come in on weekends and we would
laugh, joke, have fun, actually genuine fun being sober, And I
think that's one thing that helped me because it actually showed me that you can
have fun, genuinely laugh and enjoy yourself sober, where I'd never realized that
before in life at all. Yeah, a lot of people don't, and
they don't and they and they did it at the time, and I heard
it many times when I worked at the treatment center, people going I didn't
know I could laugh this hard sober, and I'd remind him, whene's the
last time he left that hard when you were using, And they'd be like,
oh, good boy, yeah, a really good point. I wouldn't
laughing much at all. I was just always chasing to the next, you
know. And the same thing with drinking. You know, I'm I was
not saying I am. I was happiest when I would get home, and
you know, I'd be shaking, and I'd grab the bottle and try not
to knock my teeth out, and it would take quite a few chugs to
get the shakes to stop. But then when it was stopped, that's when
I would feel like and I don't even know if it was happy, but
it was a sense of relief. And then I just I felt normal.
And in the movie twenty eight Days, have you seen that, Sandra Bullock,
I think so well. Steve W. Shimmy was in there, and
I guess he was like running the treatment center or whatever in the movie.
I don't remember exactly, but I think that's pretty close to it, and
he said something about, you know, drinking just to feel normal, and
that's what we would kind of try to do, at least I would,
you know, I would drink and the shakes would stop, and then I
would feel like a sense of relief or as Steve Buscemi's character said, normal,
you know, I felt like, ah. But it wasn't like,
all right, now I can have fun, Let's go have fun, guys.
It wasn't like that at all. I mean maybe at first in the
early days, and that wasn't even funny either. It was just like to
try to fit in, to be cool. Yeah, when I was talking
at Detox the other day, I was telling them that, you know,
if you want to break it down and go back to like my childhood,
and they say, like, all the trauma that we've had, like we've
all had in childhood trauma, and the way we dealt with it was to
deflect. And some people turn into bullies, you know, some people,
you know, go use drugs, and some people drink. And at first
I can trace it back to me being a class clown. And it kind
of coincides with when my father moved. And because I was like a really
good student. I liked doing homework, I liked getting good grades. Then
my dad leaves and I used to remember the other another kid in class,
and actually his dad had left too, but he was kind of like the
class clown and I thought he was funny, and I became friends with him
and we both became like really huge class clowns. And that was a way
for me to deflect, you know, for me to just throw some funny
stuff out there and not really worry about the homework or what was going on
in the class. But how could I fire back quick how can I make
somebody laugh like that? That's what my goal was that day. It wasn't
like, hey, I got to solve this math problem or I got to
read this chapter. It was how can I make people laugh? And then
where I was in classes with Kurt, that's the guy I was talking about,
or the kid I guess back then. But if he said something funny,
I would laugh. And it wasn't like a, oh, he said
something funny, I got it. No, it was like we would like
challenge each other almost, you know. It wasn't like we were like,
hey, I'm going to challenge you today, but it's like if he said
something funny, I wanted to say something funny too, And so it just
became more of like that. And and that was a way for me to
deflect, in a way for me to you know, take away from what
was really going on outside and feel better about myself, you know, because
sure, if I got an A on a test, okay, but what
do you take tests every two weeks or every week? You know, like
someone will feel good once this whole week and it's hard and I don't understand
it. And I could just make people laugh all day the whole class.
Laugh. Yeah, be disruptive, and I'm sure your teacher loved you.
Some of them did, some of them did not. Mister Kellogg rest in
peace. In my senior year, I was in there and I was just
going through my routine, you know, and he's like and he like swore
at me. He was like, if you need this fucking class to graduate,
I suggest you get the fuck out now. And I was like,
okay, and grab my shit and just walked out. Went to the office.
Was like, I'm going to need a new third hour and they're like
what. I was like, yeah, because I kind of want to graduate.
And miss Kellock told me if I wanted to do that, that I
should probably not be in his class. And then I had a science teacher,
Captain K. C. Clark. I don't know if he's still alive,
but if he is, well good and if he's not, rest in
peace. But he saw through my bs and realized I was not going to
be a scientist, that I had to really very low interest in science.
And he could tell that, and he could also tell that I was a
funny m effort in his class. He didn't really like funny mfors, so
he just kind of took it in stride, and then it was time for
the final exam and I was rolling with a D and I needed to get
at least a B or a CM my final exam, whatever it was,
to pass his class because we had to take science at least one year,
knowing that he did not want my ass back in his class that next year.
And I noticed that he had a grading chart that he would just throw
it was like a key, I guess they call it where they would just
throw it over and so it was like ABCD, you'd fill it in.
Well, he'd throw the key over it and then just and I was like,
okay, we're doing that all right. So I'd fill in like three,
three of them. Sometimes I do all of them, you know.
So I'd fill it all in. So he'd throw the key over it and
go well. I ended up with an A, A minus or something.
And the smartest kid in class was very pissed because he got a B and
he's like, how in the hell is Corey gonna get a A? And
I get a to B and he I still remember to this day, his
little kiss ass was like up by the very front, lean it up against
the teachers, like desk. It wasn't really a desk. It was just
more of a countertop, you know how them science teachers had those. It's
like this black countertop and I had like a sing in the middle and he's
like leaning up on that, like watching him great. And that's when he
like flips out and he's like what And I see him look right at me,
and I was like, oh shit. He's like, oh, is
Cory gonna get an air? And I'm like, oh no, and he's
like what, Corey cheated? He filled in all of them. And I'm
like, oh, damn it. And then Captain Casey Clark looks at me,
looks at the test changes it puts the C on it and he's like
what but he cheated And he's like, ep at least he tried, or
he said something like that, like it was a good attempt. But he
made sure that I passed that class because he didn't want me back. Yeah,
and I'm cool with that man. You know. I remember my senior
year, I had to English class. Our English teacher wouldn't make us recite
Shakespeare. Like. Freshman year was Romeo and Juliet It's her level. Sophomore
year was Hamlet I think, and then senior year was make Beth, Yeah,
and you had to memorize like thirty five lines to like pass for the
third marking period. And I was like, I'm not doing that, Like
I can't barely remember two lines at the same time. Like I just didn't
do it. I had an E. And then like fourth marking period,
I think I had like a D plus C minus. And I remember I
broke my leg being all drunk just before graduation and I ended up missing a
little school time because of it. Come back in and she's like, well,
here's your senior exam. And I'm like, oh, this is gonna
be awesome. And it was like what is your name, what city do
you live in? It's just simple random stuff. And I'm like, you're
just doing this so I graduate and you don't have to deal with me next
year. Yeah. Yeah, Yeah. There was like ten questions that you
should automatically know about yourself. Well, you know, some some classes are
easier than others suggestin but yeah, that's that's what happened sometimes. And like
I said, I wasn't mad at him because I was a junior at the
time, and with the science teacher, you know, so I was just
like, that's cool, man, And I remember like they had like did
you ever dissect a frog? Did they even give you knives or any thing
like that, anything sharp to work? I don't. I don't think it.
Baldenly did. I remember taking biology, but I don't think we dissected
frogs we were supposed to, and I don't think I did. I think
I skipped that whole week because I hated the way it smelled. Man,
it did stink, and kids would all the students would always complain. Yeah,
so I think they just quit doing it because we'd be like, I'm
not going to class this week at stinks in here like dead animals, and
like can I put this on my resume? And I like, where am
I going to get a job at a frog plant? Do they have those?
Like? I think I don't even know where you would go to get
a job like frog Legs company or something. I think my freshman year we
had a old senior, I mean an old science teacher, and like my
sophomore year, we got a new one. She came down from the middle
school and she just didn't dissect frogs anymore. So I don't know if it
was school of policy, we didn't do it, or if it was just
her take on it, Marnie, because we were talking about that a couple
weeks ago and she said that she did. She actually went in and dissected
a frog. I think it used to be pretty standard to do things like
that, But with today's society, I don't think you would do that.
I don't know. It seems like things have gotten so crazy because like the
stuff that I used to do on the I don't think I get away with
now. No. Yet people are being more like, hey, you can
be a dog, you can be a frog, you can be a woman,
you can be a man, you could be an astronaut, you can
be whatever you want, right right, But you just can't have fun at
other people's expense anymore. And I like the and not Still that's not really
bad, not saying that I like to have fun of other people's expenses.
But in the school of mel Brooks. If you've ever seen Blazing Saddles,
you know what I'm talking about. He makes fun of everybody. He's like,
as long as I make fun of everybody, there's nothing really wrong there.
Make fun of my people, and make fun of your people. And
make fun of all people. Then I'm not really racist or you know,
picking on anybody because I'm making fun of everybody. Yeah. So that's the
kind of school of knocks that I want to, you know, like just
make fun of everybody. Me too, And it's not really making fun.
Well sometimes it is, you know, but it's the same time. It's
more of a thin line now. But yet we're more accepting of everything.
Yeah, but not. It's just a weird It's very weird. It's weird
how things change. We got to care about We really have to worry about
people's feelings and their sensitivity life. They want us to, but I still
don't. I love to find it really hard to flip that light on.
I find it really hard to do that in life because I mean, we've
talked about our schools enough where we kind of pretty much went to the same
school, just like two hundred miles away. You were in kind of a
city. I was in the woods. But you know, we had a
multi racial school that we both went to, and so we had all walks
of life in our schools and we all joked around, laughed, had fun,
and like if we would do the things in today's society that we did
back then. I'm sure i'd be expelled from high school. Yeah, it's
just weird man. It is. Now kids are in their vapor weed,
you know, like they're vaping weed, stealing their phone that they're not supposed
to have, taking it home with them, taking her chromebooks to school like
my daughter did. Oh yeah, I dropped it on my school floor.
So now my screen's broke, brand new Christmas present. Just don't care like
they should get her the toys that we had. Get her like a my
little pony. Oh I didn't have my little pony, but you know what
I'm saying. I had some Jad Joe's, but yeah, get her some
stuff like that. I'm like, here you go. She's like, Dan,
I'm thirteen. You'd be like, yep, there you go. Here's
a new sweater, here's some new geens you've been wanting. Well, when
I was thirteen, let's let's take it back thirteen fourteen. I had a
dirt bike. I had a snowbill. Like almost all the video game systems
that came out, like I had regular Nintendo Super, Nintendo Nintendo sixty four.
My brother had the PlayStation PS two. I think we had a sega.
That's a problem with you. Then you were getting much shit. I
mean, my mom worked hard, but at the same time, me and
my brother also worked hard. You know, probably don't don't know what a
woof football bat is, do you? Yes, that you got beat with
no, but I remember, you know, like we knew what hard work
was. We knew you had to work to earn things. You know,
it just wasn't handed to you. So my mom bust her heart. You
know. She would work two jobs, you know, waitress tables, work
in a gas station, whatever she had to do to make ends meet,
you know. But she got us things that we wanted, and sometimes I
guess, like I found out this year, like I wasn't necessarily appreciative of
the things that she did get us because sometimes they weren't exactly named brand that
we wanted and we would call her out on it during Christmas and stuff,
and not realizing how hard she'd work to get it for us until I had
my daughter this year. You know, I got her a gift card and
she looked at was like, really, that's it it I actually that I
was, like, I asked you what you wanted for Christmas? And like
It crushed me. And I looked at my mom after we walked downstairs in
her house and I was like, did I ever do that to you as
a ki kid? She was like yeah, two or three times. She
goes, you know how it feels now, don't you I still do that
to my mom. I was like that hurt. She asked me what I
want, and I tell her I want this camera, like, oh no,
no, not that camera, this camera, And then I get the
first camera and I'm like, but I told you I didn't want that camera,
But I do like the camera now I've learned to use it in as
kind of nice as you mean. But anyway, back to your started me
to cut you off there. I was thinking about how was a dick to
my mom? But you know, I mean me and my brother both had
jobs by the time we're fourteen. We both went out and got a job.
We both worked. You know, my mom got a cell phones,
but we worked, so we had to pay our own cell phone. You
came up in that good life. I didn't a cell phone, you mean
cordless phone. That's what I was trying to do, Like, oh we
had those phones. I mean I had a computer in my bedroom. A
computer. What's that I didn't have. No, No, there's no computer.
Like my grandpa had a computer. We'd have to go over there to
print some stuff out every once in a while, or watch him play this
weird game that he had, you know, like that's all. That's how
we did it. I mean, so, I guess I grew up really
spoiled. Thinking back about it, mm hmm. About my childhood, you
know, I was kind of with those spoiled brats. But at the same
time, I had respect for my elders. You know, I did things
right. I got decent grades in school. I always carried at least seas.
If we didn't have seas, we got grounded. And back in the
day, you know, you didn't have this nice little app on your phone
check grades. So I'd be like, mom, my grades are up to
a seat. I believe it when that progress report comes out in four weeks.
Mm, we'll see. Then I got four weeks to stick around.
She'd be like, well, you're groundings all. You're grounded until I get
something set home in the mail. Got your ass two times because you can't
ride took the car way, but anyway, we do have to go because
I can tell people are still bounced around the office and not respecting the light.
Before they were like you here, Mitch talking and people like in the
hall and stuff, and so we flipped on the on air light. But
I didn't know nobody cares about us here. Oh, just Cory just around
there, playing around. Paul cares talking about life and recovery. But no,
but we do have to go to that comedy show. But thanks for
jumping on with me and busting one out on a Friday before we get out
of here to go laugh. Appreciate it later. Oh, I can't believe
what the fabulous scent You're Fabulous by Justin As is. It's a scent that
smells the best. I think I've never smelled it, but I'm sure it's
a beautiful scent. He's got a commercial out for that cent. Now you
can't buy this, it's not out in stores yet, but you can check
out the beautiful commercial that was put together and a lot of fun and recovery
went into that video. So it's on our app, which you can get
from the App Store, a Google Play store. I'll just search to seventeen
Recovery. It's also on our website two seventeen recovery dot com and on our
YouTube page. Now we are done. Thanks, I had to plug you
bro, had to plug. Is We're busting one out real quick. That's
gonna be a drop. Thanks for listening to the two seventeen Recovery podcast.
Win a bunch of free from to seventeen Recovery. Go to the app or
the website to seventeen recovery dot com