This is doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to KFI A M six forty the
Doctor Wendy wallsh Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. Welcome back to the
Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM six forty live everywhere on the iHeartRadio App.
Okay, go on to my social media. Remember the handle is at
doctor Wendy Walsh at d R Wendy Walsh. Let me hip up my DMC.
Who's got me? Hi, Doctor Wendy. I hooked up with my
ex's current boss friend. Should I feel bad? Okay, we're gonna calm
down here. We're gonna take out that word should Should I feel bad?
I don't know. It's up to you. Your feelings are your feelings,
and they're gonna come up based on whatever. But why did you ask me?
It's like you asked me to be the moral authority on whether you should
have sex with your exes? Know what gender to put here? There's no
genders here. I don't know if you're se your ex was a female or
male, it doesn't matter, but it's their current friend and their boss's like,
guess my question is why did you have sex with him because you like
them, are attracted to them, wanted to have pleasure for one evening?
Or did you do it to hurt your ex? Uh huh. That's really
what you need to ask yourself. Now. I'm not gonna be the moral
authority. I'm not going to weigh in with the should you feel I'm just
gonna ask you to ask yourself why you did it, and then the follow
up question after you answer that is do you feel good about that or not?
Those are your feelings. You're allowed to have them, you decide.
Okay, moving on. Oh, this is a long one. Let's see
what this person wrote. Dear doctor Wendy, what do you think about this?
I met a guy on bumble. He gave me his number. We
planned a date within an hour or two. Fast forward to now four amazing
dates within two weeks. I like that. Like that. That sounds about
good. He's a complete gentleman. I don't have to think when I'm with
him. Hm. Then oh, now she says I'm in the hospital.
He offered to bring me dinner and wanted to see me. He was on
his way traffic, plus he had a bad day. He called and said
he was frustrated and I understood, and he said, and I said,
you don't have to come go home and get some rest. Dates five and
six were already planned and scheduled. Then I get a text saying, I
don't like how I'm changing myself. This is not what I want for my
future partner. I don't see long term commitment with you, and I respectfully
want to end our dates. That's what he wrote to you. I don't
like how I'm changing myself and this is not I want for our future partner.
I don't like to see I don't see long term commitment with you.
I respectfully want to end our dates. This came completely out of left field.
What do you think about this? Okay, I like this guy.
Do you know why I like this guy because he did not ghost you,
because he did not lie to you, because he did not do anything except
be honest. And even when honesty hurts, we should be grateful that we
got honesty. And sometimes it does take five or six dates. And the
reason why he didn't come to the hospital to bring you dinner was he had
a feeling I don't want to do something that intimate, to see them in
such a vulnerable intimate time and space, maybe this is not working for me.
Remember that was only after four dates, so two others had been pre
planned, and then he wanted to make sure that he went on and did
what he said he was going to do and do those last two dates to
just sort of see if maybe there's a chance that this is what he's looking
for. Then you know what it wasn't. But that doesn't mean you're wonderful.
You're not wonderful. It doesn't mean you're not amazing. It doesn't mean
you're not the most perfect partner for somebody. I think you should do the
touchdown cheer and say thank you. I got out early from something that wasn't
going to work out. Ah. I know it hurts, and that's okay.
Grieve a little bit, but it's okay. You are lovable. You're
going to find a great mate because you deserve love. Everybody does, all
right, Dear doctor Wendy, I just found out that my ex boyfriend has
two kids. Wait, you didn't know when he was your boyfriend. He
was awful to me and we broke up over seven years ago. Why am
I sad about this news? I don't want him at all. Oh,
because you were reminded of another way that he betrayed you. That's why.
So it's like another little pang of an injury. What I was with this
person. I thought I loved them, I thought they loved me. Yet
something as important as the fact that they have two children. I hope you
can convert this feeling of sadness into a feeling of you dodged a bullet there.
I'm so glad this reconfirms the fact that I'm not with him. That's
what it should do. I don't know. It still kind of hurts.
Okay, Dear doctor Wendy, would you believe a guy when he cancels last
minute saying his mom is very sad and they don't see each other very often
anymore, so he's gonna stay over and get breakfast with you. Mind you,
he said he was at dinner with his mom, which I knew about
all week. It just seems very strange to me. It doesn't seem strange
to me at all. By the way, I'm just saying, dude has
dinner with his mom. He doesn't get to see his mom very much,
his mom is going through some kind of hard time, so he decides he's
going to stay overnight cancel his date with you. I'm hoping that what you
see here is a compassionate guy who cares about people and their feelings. Now,
if there's a piece of you that says, oh, he actually went
out with somebody else, then wait and see, because he'll reveal his true
colors in a different way. And also if there's a piece of you who
says, hmm, I wonder if he already has a wife in the form
of his mother, and I'll ever be is a mistress. That's possible too
see how close really he is to mom after this. But you can't judge
on just one little incident like that. You can't. You just have to
take it with what you hear. And I hope what you're hearing. Now.
Here's the other thing when you said he cancels last minute, saying his
mom is very sad they don't get to see each other. I'm wondering if
he did it by text or phone, because something is personal like that,
he should have called you. And if it was just a text, then
sure, that's what makes people feel worried that somebody's lying to them, because
they they could be anywhere and text, so it would have been nice because
I don't know if he did. He might have called, he might not
called. I don't know. Okay, when we come back, I'm going
to continue to answer your social media questions and you can always send me a
DM on any of my social media. The handle everywhere is at doctor Wendy
Walsh. You are listening to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM six
forty. We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're listening to Doctor Wendy
Walsh on demand from KFI AM six forty. Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy
Wall Show on KFI AM six forty, Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
Reminder, I'm not a therapist. I'm just a woman with a lot of
life experience and a lot of wisdom and oh yeah, a PhD in clinical
psychology. But anyway, I love to weigh in when people send me their
messages. So let's see what we got. Dear doctor Wendy, do you
think it's acceptable for a guy your message messaging with back and forth online to
take twenty four or more hours to respond each time? Or is that a
red flag? Or red flag? There we go. It's a picture of
a flag. Is that a red flag or someone to just unmatch? Okay,
so I don't know what stage of this relationship you're at. I will
say this, if you're on a dating app and you're just messaging with somebody
and they're taking a day or more to respond, then it is not moving
forward. So you have two choices here. You could just leave your phone
number and say, hey, I'm not a big text. If you want
to give me a call, here's my number, and that's it. You
could play a silly little game, which is every time he texts you text
him back just a little bit slower, just to see if he goes,
huh, where'd she go? And whether that makes him turn around. I
don't like that way. I like you said, say hey, I'm not
a big text, here's my number. If you want to give me a
call, and if he doesn't, just let it go. Let it go.
Now, if you've been on dates and you're seeing this person and this
is how he's behaving it takes twenty four hours to call you back, he
is sending you a very clear message. He doesn't want you as a long
term girlfriend. He's not ready to make a commitment. He's not ready to
chase you. He is not chasing you. You want to be with the
guy who is running at breakneck speed to get near you and see you.
These dating apathy guys full of apathy guys and girls who aren't showing the energy
that they need to show. Forget about those ones. Just move along.
If you're not happy, If enough isn't enough contact for you, then move
along. All right? A lot of women tonight men write to me too,
But tonight I got a lot of women. Dear doctor Wendy. I've
been dating a guy for about two months, and he always ends up staying
over like breakfast and hanging out the next morning too. I feel like it's
too soon for all that every week, but we live almost an hour apart.
Am I avoidant or are my concerns legit? I think that if you
are feeling engulfed, smothered and it's too much for you, you might have
some avoidant tendencies. But this is for you and your therapist to figure out.
Are your concerns legitimate? I mean, I like to say it's not
about the time that they spend, but it's what's happening in that time.
Are you being open honest, vulnerable, and authentic. Are you talking about
real things or is it just kind of a weird date where he's hanging around
talking about sports, weather, pop culture. I don't know, and he
always ends up staying over. It's so funny how you say that? Do
you invite him to stay over? Have you had the conversation? If you
haven't been able to even say, hey, you know when you come next,
I'd prefer you go home. That might make him freak out and run
away. But you know, you usually talk about whether a sleepover is gonna
happen before it happens. But it looks like he just stays over and assumes
and it's too much too soon for you. Maybe a conversation about that,
Hey, it's starting to feel a little too much too soon for me.
Can we slow down a little bit and see what happens? Uh? Okay?
Moving on, Dear doctor Wendy, I'm a married man who has had
a very eventful past, if you know what I mean. Hmm. Oh,
I'm sorry I did read this all wrong. I thought I had high
hopes that I would have a married man writing to me with an eventful past,
but instead it's a woman. I'm married to a man, she says,
who's had a very eventful past, if you know what I mean.
He has mended his ways, and I can see that he's trying to be
a better man. But the dilemma is that the many women from his past
keep reaching out via email, text or even requesting money on their birthdays on
Venmo and writing flirty messages even though whoa, whoa, whoa, and this
really bothers me. Okay, so you have a right to ask for him
to exert boundaries. People don't reach out like that and ask for personal things
like birthday gifts and Venmo money and flirty little texts. If he hasn't made
it clear that he's married, monogamous and not going to be having affairs,
he is keeping the emotional door the physical door open just a little bit with
these women. I'm sorry. You have every right to say, a husband,
dear, this is not acceptable to me, and I would like you
to not respond to any of them until they go by the way, that's
how you do a boundary. You don't write to the person and say please
don't contact me again. Because you've just contacted them, You've just opened up
that line of communication. You just don't respond, and you're going to tell
him don't respond. You can even teach him how to block them. But
if he's not willing to set up these kind of boundaries and you're a married
you're married together. This is a problem for me too. I definitely talked
to him about it. Uh okay, dear doctor Wendy, My girlfriend's just
let me know the man I've been seeing for nearly three years whose birthday happens
to be today. I guess when the person posted it was posted by another
woman on her story wishing him a happy birthday. They claim he's been dating
her on and off for a year and wanted a solid confirmation without telling me.
Oh, I'm devastated. I'm not sure what to do. I'm trying
not to mess up his birthday. I'm too diplomatic for that. What you
have every right to mess up his birthday. You've been seeing him for three
years and now come to find out he's been seeing another woman at the same
time for a year and a half. First of all, you're only culpable,
culpable, There goes my jet leg. Can't get the words out.
You're only culpable if you didn't have a commitment from him, I get to
have the conversation, are we exclusive? If you didn't, then WHOA,
there you go. But if you've had the conversation, you've been exclusive.
And now you find out that he's been seeing someone for a year and a
half, mess up his birthday and every other day. Don't be diplomatic and
next time make sure you get a good exclusivity from the next person. I'm
so sorry. That breaks my heart and people are done wrong. My guy
who's a player. Hey, when we come back, I have a licensed
clinical social worker who's a relationship expert who works with couples all day long in
her office. She's got some inside juice on how we can all have some
love hacks in our relationship. You're listening to the Doctor Wendy Wall Show on
KFI AM six forty we live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're listening to
Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI AM six forty. Welcome back to the
Doctor Wendy Wall Showing ki AM six forty Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio App.
Now, I promised you we would get an expert on somebody who's in the
trenches all day long with couples hearing the stuff. Yeah, the stuff that
you shared. Don't worry. She's going to keep it confidential. We're not
going to hear your name. That's her job. I'd like to introduce Kelly
Miller. She's a licensed clinical social worker, a psychotherapist here in the San
Fernando Valley and specializes in relationships also does some individual therapy. Her new book
is called Love Hacks, and it offers some simple, I like simple,
effective hacks to address your most common relationship for problems. Hi Kelly Miller,
how are you. Hi? I'm so happy to be here. I like
the cover of your book. Oh, I like anything pink. It's a
Barbie h I think true and hearts right. Yes, So first question,
why do you write the book? I wrote the book because I was having
couples come in and they kept asking the same questions over and over, and
I thought, well, clearly there's a need for this, Right, there's
people who aren't in therapy who could use solutions to these common questions. You
know, a lot of people are afraid of couples therapy because they're afraid of
therapy in general. Right, going to those tender spots and in your experience,
is it that couples often enter couple's therapy when they're near the end.
It's hard to save absolutely when they need resuscitation, and it's a little it's
almost too late sometimes. So I love when people when people come in and
they're like, you know, we're not sure if we should be here.
I'm like, this is great, we could all use this. But yeah,
a lot of times they're coming when they're one person's kind of almost out
the door. And so when do you recommend they should come? I think,
I mean, I even third date exactly. I mean, the sooner
the better, But I think the moment you kind of realize, hey,
we might need some work, I'd rather them come sooner than later. I
always like this idea of maybe having a third eye in the room. It
seems so helpful. Like, Okay, so you know my fiance fiance,
he's got his therapist. I've got med therapists. But I said to him,
you know, we're grown up people. We've accumulated some assets, we
got kids. We want to leave things too. We got to negotiate a
prenap and I have because of my early childhood stuff issues around conversations about money.
It's so difficult for me. So I said, and why don't we
just book a therapist and we'll just do some sessions on how to? And
he's like, okay, he loves therapy. I love that you recognize,
Hey, this is something that I struggle with and we could work together on
this. You know what my parents taught me about money. We're getting off
track, but let me tell you what my parents want to I'm with a
therapist. Okay, I want to get some free therapy everybody. That's why
I'm here is once a month they would sit down to pay bills. Okay,
they were always very angry. It wasn't an evening. We were told
to go to bed and stay out of the way, and there would be
a lot of sighing. There'd be fish slamming, paper shuffling, no explanation,
and the next day both of them would be in a grumpy mood for
a day. Yeah, that was my education about money. It makes sense.
So of course you grew up with the fear and being a bad thing,
then it must be terrible, all right. So your book is called
Love Hacks, Simple Solutions to your most common relationship issues. What's the most
common relationship issue. Gosh, if I had to pick one, I mean
there's definitely like a handful. But I think what you just described is one
of the main ones. Money not sex, that comes up there too,
Yes, I mean it's the tough ones. And if you think about it,
those are the ones culturally that are taboo, would scary and all of
that. So that makes sense kind of what you were describing. And people
are scared to talk about money. Sex is weird. So it's all of
that and that's ingrained in us. So the first time I ever went to
a couple's therapy, no I'm going to really date myself, it was like,
oh, forty years ago with a guy I was living with, and
I remember saying to the therapist, I will talk about anything, but sex.
Is that funny? And now I have students who say to me,
oh, you know, my mother listens to you and she says, are
you going to have that professor who talks about sex all the time? Now
you're the sex person? How things change? Yes? All right, so
let's let's talk a little bit about why couples we're going to talk about sex
because I brought it up absolutely, Why couples do stop having sex. I
can add some things from my reading on anthropology and evolutionary psychology and the female
sexual response system, et cetera, et cetera. Guys, just make sure
the sheets are clean, the room is clean, the kid child care is
taken care of. Yeah something, But why do you think most often do
they stop having sex? So I think the main reason that I see is
there's a on either side. That's typically what happens. So yes, I
mean there could be biological issues, but if we're talking emotional, it's a
resentment. So you know, nothing kills a buzz, a sexy arousal buzz
than anger. Absolutely, you just you're not in the mood, I mean
at all. Who wants to have sex with someone they're mad at exactly?
And then they feel and then people hold it over their partner's head of like,
well I'm just not going to sleep with you, you know. And
it's a power thing too, so absolutely, oh a power thing as well.
So how do you break that? So I think the first thing is
we got to uncover those resentments. The only way out is through So I
think you in order to feel really connected to your partner, that needs to
be addressed and you need to have an open and honest conversation about what you're
upset about. Let's go there, let's talk about it. So in order
to feel physically connected, it starts with feeling connected emotionally, you know.
I always say that that really at the end of the day, I mean,
anybody, if you meet somebody hot on Tinder, can go and have
hot sex with a stranger because you're having sex with your fantasies really at that
moment. But down the road, if you work on I want to say,
becoming best friends, but getting emotionally in touch with each other, yes,
and really caring about each other, then sex will come, like the
arousal will come. I do want to just tell every woman out there,
I'm only speaking as a woman who's had some experience with this in my life.
For tell me if you disagree with me on this. Sure, for
many women, the best way to want to have sex is to start having
sex. It's so true, it's so true. How do we explain that
to women, because it's like going right to the gym. But when you
say that, you know what people say, they go, well, you're
talking about like having to do something that you don't want to do or being
coerced and you know all that stuff, right, but our bodies, the
juices don't get flowing until we exactly rev the engine keep it going. I'm
with you, but yeah, mine, you was going to the gym like
that's that feeling like I don't want to go, and then you go and
you feel better, and so you know, it's that reminder that like,
okay, might take a little bit, but yeah, once we're in it,
it's gonna be okay. You're gonna feel connected. It's going to produce
some endorphins. And how are men different in that way? They're just ready
to go pretty much? Pretty much? Yes, exactly. I think I
read somewhere that like a teenage boy thinks about sex like every nine seconds or
something that you can not surprise me at all today getting it up. But
they stopped being teenagers because I feel like it's still every nine seconds grown men.
No. My favorite story was when a friend took her like ten month
old baby boy to the nurse practitioner at ten Street Pediatrics and said he was
playing with his penis so much that it was chafing and red and almost bleeding,
and the nurse practitioner Nurse Kitty. I don't know if anybody remembers Nurse
Kitty down over there. I don't know if she's still there, said,
don't worry. This is only a phase only last seven decades. That's so
true, okay, Kelly. I want to get to more when we come
back. You. I am with Kelly Miller, who is a therapist in
town, and her book is called Love Hacks, Simple Solutions to your Most
Common Relationship Issues. We'll have more when we come back. You are listening
to the Doctor Wendy Wall Show on KFI AM six forty. We're live everywhere
on the iHeartRadio app. You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM six forty. Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM
six forty, Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. My guest is Kelly Miller,
a therapist in Studio City, right, I said, San Fernando Valley.
But I'm sure you have patients clients. Do you call them patients or
clients? And these either one? But I think clients is the correct term
exactly. Her new book, Love Hacks, Simple Solutions to your most common
Relationship Issues is available everywhere online, but you can also check her out at
Kelly Miller Kelly with an I Kellymiller theapy dot com. Okay, we started
talking about the solution for bad death in long term monogamy and when couples stop
having sex. Is there anything else besides getting to the emotional Yes, absolutely
so, I have plenty. I think the second thing is just focus on
the sensation. I think people get so focused on the orgasm in the end,
and it's like, let's just start with what feels nice on the skin,
you know. And there's something called sensate focus therapy that I love.
So it's really focusing on those sensations rather than actual sex because I think a
lot of times sex feel so overwhelming and people feel like they have to be
on and so it takes off that pressure. Yeah, since they focus.
As I recall from graduate school, they first tell you the sex therapists tell
you don't have sex for like six weeks because you know, no, it
is the world's biggest aprodisiac exactly, It's very true. We're onto something.
And then they basically give you different body parts to explore, but not the
genitals for like every week, you have a new homework assignment, right exactly,
And because think about it, when you have a first date with somebody
you're really into, if you happen to brush their baby finger against yours,
get tingle all over your body, right, And then I like to use
the metaphor that you're playing the same instrument for so many years that you're down
to like one guitar stream, Like everybody goes to the go to spot,
it's the same go to thing, and you get pretty numbed out. It's
true by it. So that's a good one. Sometimes in people's sex lives
there are past trauma issues, yes, right, how do you deal with
that or how do you know if that's what the thing is? Yeah,
I mean that could be a major piece of it. So again, I
mean I recommend there if you recognize that within one of your partners, individual
therapy if you can for sure, because that's a lot to take on.
If not, I think it's talking to your partner about what's going to make
them feel comfortable. I mean, if there is sexual abuse things like that
that you know, we need to figure out what's going to make that person
feel safe, because obviously we want them to feel okay in this intimate moment.
So whatever we can do to kind of make them feel safe and go
slow, and if the partner can be really patient, I mean there are
ways to really work through it, but patience is going to be key here.
And for the frustrated partner who doesn't seem to be getting their needs met,
what advice do you have? I mean, yeah, it's hard.
I mean obviously you know you have to be slow and steady with this because
if you forced it, it could backfire. So I think it's recognizing,
Okay, I may not get my needs met sexually initially, I'm going to
focus that elsewhere emotionally when get any of my needs met maybe intellectually, Okay,
we can have fun in other ways, adrenaline seeking activities maybe theme parks
and roller coasters and things like that. And I think that'll make somebody feel
safe anyway that eventually this sex will come. So's it's safety. Also,
there's that auto sexual behavior. It's perfectly acceptable. You don't know what I
meant there, right, I meant taking care of your own needs yourself exactly.
Yes, not with other partners who will be a threat to your relationship
with yourself. Alone for sure, see your help. So you mentioned that
sex and money are the two things that bring people in. Mm hmm.
I have a friend who's a couple's therapist in New York, and I said
to her, what's the most common thing that people bring in? She goes,
it doesn't matter what it is, it's the same argument they have for
years. True. So true, So what do you why why do people
have this one issue that's that thing that won't go away because they're not seeing
each other's perspective really plain and simply. So, I think my role or
any couple's therapists is to help bridge that gap of like, okay, let
me help you see how Bob feels this way and Susie feels this way,
and it's like, oh okay, And so they kind of have to open
their eyes to understand that person's perspective. They might not agree with it,
but I think it's really understanding it is going to be helpful. Do you
believe that if there is this recurring argument that seems to be the same thing
over and over, that it's almost always related to some early childhood kind of
trauma that they're trying to work out. There's a great expression. If it's
not one thing, it's a mother And I love that, so father exactly
or a parent will just say but yes, so much of our stuff is
related to childhood. You know. It's funny. We were driving here to
this interview and I don't know, you know, Julio's a well he's a
man, so he's very rational and very thinking and problem solving, and and
he's like, well, I don't understand, like, if people have finally
gotten say the money or success or the partner that they want in life,
why are they having all these issues still? And I said, because the
issues belong in the past, but they have projected it onto the object that
psychobabble person, the person in front of them. And so so if people
can learn, I mean, if you're having the same argument over and over
and over, do you suggest to go to individual therapy and find out why
you have this issue? Yes? And another great expression that I love is
if it's hysterical, it's historical. So if you're feeling something really strong with
your partner, chances are it has something to do with you and your past.
And my other famous expression, since we're going to put them all out
there, is do you know why your family can push your buttons so well
because they installed them. I love that that's true. See this is therapist
humor exactly. I'm not a therapist, but she is, so we can
get each other's humor right now. You also talk about something in your book,
By the way, The book is called Love Hacks, Simple Solutions to
your most common relationship issues. Kelly Miller is the author. You talk about
a fast food communication method. Yes, what is that? Yes, So
if you think about it, when you order fast food, you go to
the drive through and they want to make sure that they get your order correct,
so they repeat it back and they even show it on the screen.
And I tell couples, I want you to do that with your partner because
there's so much miscommunication. So basically, it's really simple. When your partner
tells you something, you say what I'm hearing you say is and it sounds
so funny like you're a parent. But A your partner feels validated, and
B you're really ensuring that communication. Although I like it when people put their
own words on it so that you can also clarify any discrepancy, because you
know all those call centers that teach them the script, and then you finally
lay out the problem and then they repeat your problem back and you're like,
just get to the solution. Okay, you don't have to tell me what
I just said. I know what I just said, right, because they're
repeating it word for word and it sounds almost mocking. Yes, yes,
I can see that. Put it in your own words, right, I
like that too. So what you're saying is the way I see it,
or the way I'm hearing it, is that you're feeling that blah blah blah.
That's perfect, and use your own words, that's perfect. And then
the person gets to go no, actually, exactly right, or yes,
correct, right, you get it, you get it fast food, repeat
it back in your own words and show it on the screen. But I
think it's also that this person's coming to you. They're upset, right,
and so if you are just taking that moment because I think we're so quick
to defend or you know, no, no, no, that's not right,
or I didn't mean to do that, or you know, what are
you talking about? And so it's like if you take that moment to acknowledge
what they're saying, I think people kind of can ease and they're not as
defensive, like, Okay, they heard me, So that's part of it
too, exactly. Okay, we don't have a whole lot of time left,
but can you tell me what your number one recommendation to rekindle a kind
of tired, dull old love. Sure, it's getting vulnerable. I think
again, even if you've been with somebody for fifteen years. I think it's
saying, hey, I'm worried, things feel stale with us, what can
we do? It's getting really honest. Yeah, oh so literally saying yes,
say there's no excitement in our lives. Anything we do, we do.
Put the elephant in the room. Yeah, put them right there.
You know, one of my favorite words that works well with male brains is
the word how can we fash? How can we? Because it puts them
out of their emotional defensive brain into their prefrontal cortex and it becomes like a
math problem. I think, brilliant, how can we do this? How
can we figure this out? How? Because and now you're on a team
together, how solving this thing? Kelly? Good luck to you. I'm
so proud and happy that you've written this book, and I know it's not
your first book. But now you've gotten into the relationship space. Since you're
sitting in it office all day long with relationships, why not share the wealth
and the wisdom right. The book is called Love Hacks, Simple Solutions to
your most Common Relationship Issues. The author is Kelly with an I Kelly Miller.
You can also find her at kellymillertherapy dot com. Thanks so much for
thank minute so much. I had a blast, and that brings the Doctor
Wendy Walsh Show to a close. See I got through my jet lag.
I stumbled a few times, forgot my words, but I did it.
I'm always here for you every Sunday from seven to nine pm. If you
miss any part of the show, you can always go to the iHeartRadio app.
Producer Caleb post it right after the show and then it becomes a podcast
Doctor Wendy on Demand. But we're always there. Thanks for being with me.
We'll see you next Sunday. You've been listening to Doctor Wendy Waals,
you can always hear us live on KFI Am six forty from seven to nine
pm on Sunday and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app.