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The second wife by merry, heat
and force, more poignant than the facts

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of life, with as much power
as the elemental needs of the body,

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The unseen still shapes the lives of
vast peoples. In some black corners of

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the earth, strange demons still call
out for human sacrifice. Mysterious and powerful

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are these voiceless companions of men.
We alone, of all ages and peoples,

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have denied them. We have cut
away our shadows from our spirits.

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And perhaps that is why the spirits
of modern men seem unsubstantial, as a

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body would, which could cast no
dark silhouette behind it around the paths of

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men. The unseen exists always,
and it may come to anyone and at

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any moment, as it did to
Beta and to Graham. The mellow afternoon

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light shone through the quiet spaces of
the room, which, simple as it

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was, bare, almost some would
have said, had the supreme beauty of

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proportion. It had an air about
it, a gracious gravity, which proclaimed

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it of the honorable lineage of lovingly
built houses. It gave the effect of

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space, even of elegance, if
for no other reason than that its three

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dimensions were in harmony for the first
time, its charms failed with beta,

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its beneficent dignity mocked at her,
affecting her with the same anger that the

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unthinking beauty of a glorious day does
to one in deep trouble. This room,

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her room, her creature, How
dare it breathes peace while she suffered

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with unrest? If there had been
any reason for it, she could have

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borne it. She had stood up
with gallantry to all the blows that fate

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had handed out to her. No
matter what had happened, her inner self

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had been serene and unshaken. And
now, for no reason, with all

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the surfaces of life fair and smiling
before her, a horror, unspeakable,

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reasonless, invaded the secret places of
her being. She sat there saying to

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herself, I will not, I
will not. I will not. They

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can't make me. They can't make
me. They can't make me. And

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with the words once spoken, it
was as though her spirit cried out against

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something unknown, as though she fought
for her own self and for something very

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dear to her, and yet she
didn't know what she was fighting. The

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outward symbol of this struggle was so
trivial, so meaningless, that she shivered

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at herself, as though her reason
was failing her. There was a bowl

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of yellow jonquills gleaming out of a
dark corner of the room, reflecting themselves

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on the dark floor in a splash
of color. Beda had been moved with

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an impulse to take these flowers and
place them between the windows, where the

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light would shine through them, on
a small round table on which was inlaid

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a landscape in mother of pearl,
a table that might have been hideous,

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but had turned out to be only
a charming indiscretion of some cabinet maker.

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This whim so harmless in its outer
meaning, had come over her like an

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overpowering wave. Yet it had come
not as her own wish. It was

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as though it arose from the passionate
desire of some will outside her own to

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steady herself. Bada sat down in
the rosewood chair and said to herself,

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I will not, I will not, as though fighting for her own individuality.

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This impulse, with its meaningless madness, had come as suddenly, as

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shatteringly as some explosion. Dread shook
her through and through, a dread that

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left her tense and expectant. Why
she hadn't felt that way for three years,

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not since she had waited for one
of Elaine's terrible, meaningless, heartrending

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scenes, scenes that Graham and she
knew were caused by Elaine's illness, and

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yet scenes that gave the effect of
wantonness, as if Elaine wanted to make

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them suffer too. Since her nerves
were diseased, since her soul was poisoned,

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and god knows what mysterious fashion,
she couldn't let them off, the

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two creatures dearest to her, but
must encompass them also in the hell where

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she lived. In spite of bade
us care and Graham's devotion, Elaine had

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got worse and worse, until it
seemed to them that madness stared from her

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eyes. She had died from an
overdose of her sleeping potion, an accidental

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death, the doctor had insisted.
This had been three years ago. After

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Elaine's death, Graham had gone abroad, and for a year Beta hadn't seen

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him. Just when after his return
she had begun to care for him,

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She couldn't now tell. They had
drifted into it, gone in step by

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step. She couldn't even remember when
he had asked her to marry him,

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so well had they understood. She
had been married six months now, and

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until this moment, she had been
happier than she had ever been in her

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life, happier than she had known
it was possible to be. The eighteen

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months that she had spent nursing a
Lane and the final catastrophe had left her

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stunned, asking of life only quiet. She had had peace and rest,

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and then happiness, and now was
broken for no reason. Broken for so

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absurd a thing. It was especially
hard for Beta to bear. She didn't

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know how to meet moods she had
never had any. It was almost her

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first experience with any unhappiness from within, her first experience of that overwhelming misery

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that comes unreasoning from the inner recesses
of the spirit, something more full of

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anguish than pain, something that makes
grief seem God's compassion and sorrow as sweet

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as a gray day in midsummer.
She sought for some cause of such disturbance,

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her trained mind running rapidly through the
events of the last few days as

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an expert might riffle a deck of
cards. There was no explanatory spot or

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fleck on the fair surface of the
kindly and familiar events. I must be

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sick, she thought, and again
sought for some symptom that might satisfy her.

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There was nothing. It was as
ghostly to have her spirit so disturbed

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as for doors to slam and windows
rattle, when the trees remain quiet without

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and while her heart beat, and
while the tortured nerves of her cry out

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the more torturingly that she did not
know the source of her pain, her

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tranquil head thought, I must treat
this mood as I used to Elanes.

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At this thought, her heart stood
still, then leaped, like a frightened

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animal in fear for its very life, and as though in actual physical terror

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of some unseen menace. She fled
toward the sunshine of the garden, glancing

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apprehensively behind her, not for fear
of what she might see, but from

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a feeling as inexplicable as all the
rest, that she wished no one to

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see her go, not the servants, not Graham, especially not Graham.

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She heard his voice call to her
Beta, dear Beda. So happy it

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was so reassuring that suddenly her fear
vanished, as though it had wakened her

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from torturing nightmare. She felt her
actual body coming back to life as one

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breathes easily for the first time again
after one has been overwhelmed by a crashing

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wave. Her heart beat freely again, the intolerable racking of her spirit passed

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by color returned to her cheeks.
Only as she saw Graham coming toward her

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through the open door. She repressed
an impulse to throw herself about his neck,

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as though he had really delivered her
from herself. That evening, the

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idea of telling Graham flitted through her
mind, coming and going like a shadow

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cast by a flickering flame. In
the end, she decided not to,

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and as she did, a sadness
fell over her spirit, while her mind

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argued, poor Graham, why should
I tell him anything so vague and at

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the same time so fantastic. Hasn't
he had enough of the inexplicable in his

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life? Then, at this thought
of Elaine, it seemed as if Elaine

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was there. Veda had all the
sensation of seeing her without the actual visualization

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Elaine. Sitting her dark rimmed eyes
on Graham. She watched them fill slowly

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with tears, watched Elaine's face quiver
like that of a hurt child that asks,

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oh, why do you so wound
me? Beta had sat there often

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enough through what seemed a long lifetime
of vicarious pain, pretending not to notice

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Graham's irrepressible discomfort, pretending not to
notice Elaine's gathering nerve storm which sometimes threatened

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and threatened, poisoning their lives,
poisoning the very air, sometimes passing over,

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leaving sunlight behind. Recalling these things, Beta let her eyes rest on

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vacancy. What prevented one, she
wondered, from seeing with one's actual eyes,

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anyone whom one could see with what
is called the mind's eye. There

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have always been people, sick and
well, who could project their inner vision

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into space and thus behold their own
imaginings and realities. Beta dwelt in this

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way on the image of Elane,
absorbed as a devotee is absorbed in the

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contemplation of the attributes of deity.
After a time, it was as though

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her visualization of Elaine had been projected
into space, and that this thought of

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her was there, clothed in form
and invisible, but existing somehow in another

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medium. She wondered if it were
true that the things seen by dreamers have

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their real existence in some fluid which
we may not perceive. Here Graham's voice

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broke in upon her, asking what
are you thinking of beta? So intensely

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She had been plunged so profoundly in
her train of thought, The crystal mirror

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of her reflection had been shattered so
unexpectedly that she jumped nervously. It seemed

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as if her spirit had come swimming
up from some far depth in which it

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had plunged itself. She realized,
too, that she had been looking directly

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at Graham that threw him and beyond
him, as if she had penetrated far

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enough into this land which she had
so fantastically imagined, so that the things

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of this world had become for the
moment nonexistent, as are usually the things

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we cannot see. For a moment, her mind and eyes and all of

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her had dwelt in some almost luminous
vacancy which had been cleared of so called

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actuality for a new creation of her
own. Her return to the physical world,

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to Graham and to familiar things in
the room was a shock, as

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of physical pain. She had been
awakened too abruptly. She looked at him,

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dazed, frowning, at the same
time, registering the troubled and anxious

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look on his face, a look
of doubt, a look of wonder a

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look of some deeper trouble. Also, in answer to his question, came

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unbidden the words why do you look
at me like that? Graham? He

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arose and put his arms around her, But before he spoke, he swallowed,

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as though speech came to him.
With an effort. With his arms

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around her, his face close to
hers, something snapped in Beta's mind,

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like a joint coming back into place. She had yet the impression of having

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been away a very great distance.
What were you thinking of just now?

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He repeated? She answered, with
absolute truthfulness, I don't know. I

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almost seemed to be hypnotized. The
shock of his voice had, for the

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second obliterated the object of her deep
absorption. Graham shook her roughly. Well,

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don't do it again, please,
he said, I don't like your

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looks? What do I look like? She was perfectly natural. Now The

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whole phantasmagoria had vanished out of her
spirit, as though it had not been.

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I don't like your looks, he
repeated, That's all. He had,

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the evasive and uneasy air of a
man who doesn't like to tell what

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is in his mind. The following
day, Bada succeeded in overcoming the feeling

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of distrust with the whole universe,
which the inexplicable breeds in a direct and

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common sense temperament, she overcame herself. Yet she didn't go into the drawing

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room, and the drawing room was
as much lived in by her as was

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Graham's library by him. For the
effect of that terrible and spectral battle remained

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with her, as though some shadow
had been cast across her spirit. Pushed

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into the farthest recesses of her mind, was the question why, why why?

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Nor could she rid herself of the
idea that there was more to come,

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nor of a nameless and reasonless spear, that in some strange way she

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had given up some of her personality. With the passing of the days,

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the shadow dwindled, until one day
Beta went again into her room. Yellow

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flowers, picked freshly, stood in
a bowl upon her secretary. At the

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sight of them, there hot anger
surged up within her, making her tingle

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from head to toe swiftly, and
yet with a certain furtiveness, as though

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she were being watched. She picked
them up and carried them back to their

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place in the window, and placed
them on the little inlaid table between the

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windows, where the light would shine
through them. As she did so,

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there came over her a very agony
of desire to see Graham. She wanted

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him to come home. She wondered
where he was and with whom, and

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impatience to go out and find him
wherever he was plucked at her feet.

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She looked at her watch. It
was almost time for his return to luncheon,

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and she posted herself at the window
before which the flowers stood, and

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which commanded a view of the elm
shaded street, to wait for for him.

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As she stood there in a fever
of impatience and longing and affection,

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she felt as though her whole personality
had been invaded by an emotion foreign to

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her own temperament. Her love had
been from the first deep and profound,

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the surface of it radiant, but
without anguish of spirit. They knew each

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other too well for uncertainties or surprises. They had been friends so long before

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they had become lovers. The knowledge
that he would soon come, that he

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would come when he said he would, had been enough for her. Why

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this impatience, she wondered, where
did it come from? This passionate agony

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of longing for the sight of his
face. She stood there peering out from

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the window. She was so sure
he must come down that road, her

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gaze so lost in the distance for
the first glimpse of him, that she

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did not hear his step behind her. His words, in a tone through

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which a sharp anxiety pierced Beda,
what are you doing there? Made her

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turn upon him, her nervous hand
clutching the heavy, old gold drapery of

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the curtain. For a moment,
they stood gazing at each other, startled.

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Then she laughed with attempted lightness.
What's the matter, Graham? You

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look frightened. What were you doing
in the window? He insisted, why

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just waiting for you? Come?
Let's get out of here. If you

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wait staring like that, waiting for
me, good God, one would have

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00:16:30,799 --> 00:16:34,480
thought that you expected me to be
brought home on a stretcher. You'll be

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00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:40,120
getting yourself hypnotized again, Beda.
Before you know it, he put his

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arm around her and drew her out
on the piazza. I've just got a

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letter from mother, he told her. She's coming back. Oh I am

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00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:56,120
glad, Beda cried for some time. During her son's first marriage, missus

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00:16:56,200 --> 00:17:00,279
Yates had made her home with the
young people, and then on. Under

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the pressure of Elaine's nervous disorder and
her final illness, she had left their

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00:17:03,799 --> 00:17:08,000
home to live with her sister.
The pressure was too much for her gentle

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spirit. She couldn't weather the storms
which swept and devastated the household. She

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suffered too, with a keen inner
shame that she hadn't strength enough to help

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this tormented daughter of hers, whose
peculiar loveliness and charm she had so cared

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for before illness blighted it. After
Graham's second marriage, she had again made

204
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:34,000
his house her headquarters, finding in
Beda's tranquility something more akin to her own

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00:17:34,079 --> 00:17:38,319
nature, something nearer to what her
own daughter might have been than Elaine's more

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00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:45,319
fascinating personality had ever been able to
give her to Beda's heart felt Oh,

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I'm glad, Graham echoed, you
can believe I am. There was an

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00:17:49,799 --> 00:17:55,559
unmistakable passion of relief in his tone, as if Bada's cry had voiced the

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hope of deliverance, as if the
presence of this beloved older woman would dispelled

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00:18:00,319 --> 00:18:03,119
a shadow that was drifting in upon
them, shutting out the sun from their

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00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:07,680
lives. It was their first recognition
of the nameless fear that had come over

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00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:14,039
them. Now Beta was sure that
never for a moment had Graham failed to

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recognize this awful something which was crawling
upon them like some dark spiritual tide.

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00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,240
If only he would help her,
if he would ask her what was the

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00:18:23,279 --> 00:18:27,960
matter. She felt his anxious look
resting on her. Then he made some

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00:18:29,039 --> 00:18:33,240
excuse and left her. It was
as though he had deserted her in a

217
00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:37,839
moment of great peril. Scorn for
his cowardice and for his stupidity flashed over

218
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:44,160
her. Then a darkness settled over
her spirit. Perhaps she was going mad,

219
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,400
Perhaps her nerves were only shaken.
This was what her intelligence kept telling

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00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:55,000
her with irritating, ineffectual persistency,
while her heart cried out that the very

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00:18:55,079 --> 00:18:59,440
springs of life in her had been
poisoned, the very depths of her personality

222
00:18:59,599 --> 00:19:04,359
shaken. At any rate, she
was adrift in a strange and unfamiliar world,

223
00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:10,160
and there was no one anywhere to
help her. A great pity for

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00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:15,599
the stricken soul of Elaine poured over
her. Elaine had put out her hands

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00:19:15,599 --> 00:19:18,480
and had pleaded to be saved from
herself, and no one had helped her.

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Now, at the first touch of
her own distress, Graham turned from

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00:19:25,079 --> 00:19:30,160
her. Graham wasn't going to help
her. This thought walked through her mind.

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00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:37,160
Both of us together, we could
have fought it alone. I cannot.

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00:19:37,559 --> 00:19:42,039
She heard the gate click and saw
Graham walking down the street. No

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00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:47,759
doubt he was going to meet his
mother, going without her. He is

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00:19:47,839 --> 00:19:52,880
running away from me. She thought. They had always gone to meet missus

232
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:57,039
Yates together. How many times they
had walked down this street side by side,

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00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:03,839
long before Elaine died. Whenever Graham's
mother came, they would go down

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00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:07,920
and tell her the news and how
a Lane was at that moment. Now

235
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:11,359
she was left behind while Graham walked
down alone to the station to see his

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00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:18,559
mother first, to warn her,
no doubt that Beda was not quite well.

237
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:25,519
She went into the house and began
shoving around the ornaments, re arranging

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00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:30,440
them with a sort of bitter satisfaction, an inward glow quite out of keeping

239
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:36,720
with her trivial occupation. The noise
of carriage wheels checked her. Suddenly she

240
00:20:36,839 --> 00:20:41,359
stopped a little dazed, like a
person who has forgotten what he came into

241
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:45,880
a room for. As an actor
searches for a cue. Now she remembered

242
00:20:47,559 --> 00:20:52,359
Graham's mother was coming, and she
must run out to meet her. For

243
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:56,039
the next few days, the house
was as though bathed in sunshine. Calm

244
00:20:56,119 --> 00:21:03,079
returned to it. Beda was continued
with the older woman, sheltering herself in

245
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:07,200
her loving presence. It was as
though all around with some fog which concealed

246
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:12,680
menacing and terrible shapes, some terror
that walked in the darkness. But for

247
00:21:12,799 --> 00:21:18,000
the moment Beda could escape from it. Though she felt as insecure as if

248
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,680
she were living in a soap bubble. In a moment, the force of

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00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:26,720
the invading shadows or whatever they were, might come upon her, and the

250
00:21:26,759 --> 00:21:33,359
agony of her rent personality would begin
again. They were all touchingly happy,

251
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:40,200
Beda as from a relief from pain, Graham in his recovered peace, until

252
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:45,079
one day, when the two women
sat sewing in the drawing room, Graham

253
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:49,119
was lounging near them, breathing.
Then Missus Yeates raised her head toward the

254
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:53,920
window and said, there's something different
about this room since I've been away.

255
00:21:55,720 --> 00:22:00,519
You haven't moved things, have you. Beda didn't answer her. Her spirit

256
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:07,559
it seemed ceased to breathe the same
shock that she had felt communicated itself to

257
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:12,799
Graham, and he arose and walked
around restlessly. I don't quite make out

258
00:22:12,839 --> 00:22:18,799
what's changed, she pursued with serenity. I see you keep yellow flowers in

259
00:22:18,839 --> 00:22:23,680
the window the way poor Olaine did. Why Beda? What ails you?

260
00:22:23,799 --> 00:22:29,799
Child? For Beda had let her
sewing fall and was gazing at Graham's mother

261
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:34,799
in fascinated horror. Never once to
herself had she clothed her thoughts in any

262
00:22:34,839 --> 00:22:41,000
words. At her fixed look and
hopeless gesture, Missus Yates stared, and

263
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:45,920
for a moment the two women looked
one at the other, horror in the

264
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:51,319
eyes of each Missus Yates broke the
silence with are you ill, Beda?

265
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:57,720
What is it? I'm faint,
a sudden pain. The words came without

266
00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:03,440
her volition. Her hand sought her
heart. There was a second of taut

267
00:23:03,559 --> 00:23:08,640
silence, when the very air of
the room seemed to share the suspense while

268
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:15,599
mother and son looked at each other. Then Beda arose, I'm better now,

269
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:19,599
I'm going to lie down. For
several days, she remained on a

270
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:25,759
couch in Graham's library on a pretext
of illness, hiding from life by her

271
00:23:25,799 --> 00:23:30,720
inactivity, trying by her very quietness
to put off the next move in the

272
00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:34,960
drama, which came like an unexpected
verdict of a physician. When Missus Yates

273
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:41,079
announced, after the mail had come
one day, Ella wants me to visit

274
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:45,759
her. I think I shall go. When does she want you? Beda

275
00:23:45,839 --> 00:23:52,000
inquired with that command of herself,
which guileless older woman knows so well how

276
00:23:52,039 --> 00:23:59,319
to use. Missus Yates answered,
in an irreproachably natural tone, why right

277
00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:03,519
away? I shall go tomorrow,
my dear, If you are feeling better,

278
00:24:03,599 --> 00:24:08,200
Beda, oh, yes, she
replied, I'm perfectly well now.

279
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:15,160
I think I've just been a little
run down for some reason. It's very

280
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:21,240
natural with this heat, Missus Yates
replied tranquility. There was not a break

281
00:24:21,319 --> 00:24:26,720
in her surface anywhere. After her
departure, they both took her to the

282
00:24:26,799 --> 00:24:33,920
train. Beda and Graham turned into
the garden. Suddenly she stopped. Why

283
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:38,279
did mother go? She asked him? Why to see Ella? Of course,

284
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:44,400
Graham replied, you know what I
mean. What was her real reason?

285
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:48,880
Oh? How she waited for his
answer, how she prayed for it

286
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:56,680
In his one little second of indecision, You've had a lot of odd little

287
00:24:56,720 --> 00:25:02,880
streaks lately, Beda, he said. Beda wanted to cry aloud to him.

288
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:07,079
You know she won't come back.
You know I've driven her away.

289
00:25:07,759 --> 00:25:12,680
But she couldn't speak. She waited
for him to help her. She was

290
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:17,519
sure that if she could drag the
obscure events out into the light of day

291
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:22,960
and clothed them with commonplace speech,
it would kill their horror. But what

292
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:27,839
to say? Where to begin,
her heart cried out. Now, now

293
00:25:29,799 --> 00:25:34,279
her whole being urged her into her
vague confession, while her obstinate common sense

294
00:25:34,759 --> 00:25:40,440
leagued itself with a shadowy impulse from
without, which placed itself in the way

295
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:45,440
of her desire. Again, Beda
fought the unknown force as of an awful,

296
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:52,519
voiceless conflict of wills, common sense
by paradox, fighting on the side

297
00:25:52,599 --> 00:25:56,839
of the unseen. Only now Beta
knew she was fighting for her very existence.

298
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:02,640
She no longer struggled with something that
was no more than some strange and

299
00:26:02,759 --> 00:26:10,960
shattering nervous attack herself. Her own
personality was her battle. Some mysterious door

300
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:15,519
had been opened that allowed to flow
through it emotions and acts not her own.

301
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:19,160
She guessed that the very gestures of
her hands, the look of her

302
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:26,039
eyes had been used. She had
seen it mirrored in Graham's face. She

303
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:32,160
had seen it in the momentary leaping
horror of his glance. But while their

304
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:37,240
troubled eyes looked into each others with
comprehension, their obstinate tongues refused to voice

305
00:26:37,279 --> 00:26:42,279
their fear of this lurking peril.
Peril was what it was, and Beta

306
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:48,559
knew it, peril of their happiness, peril of her own sanity. She

307
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:53,720
looked at him, tears swimming in
her eyes, longing to throw herself on

308
00:26:53,799 --> 00:26:59,079
his beloved heart and to lie there
as in a safe haven, and to

309
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:02,960
beg him to say her or at
least to give her relief from pain.

310
00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:08,440
But he was gazing at her speculatively. To her racked mind, it seemed

311
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:12,920
that his gaze was hostile. She
turned and fled to her room, to

312
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:17,279
give herself up for the first time
in her life, to the sort of

313
00:27:17,319 --> 00:27:21,039
weeping that made her feel that she
had wept forth all the strength of her

314
00:27:21,079 --> 00:27:26,039
body. That with her weeping some
virtue had gone out of her. She

315
00:27:26,079 --> 00:27:32,359
said out loud, there was no
use fighting anymore. A melancholy sense of

316
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:37,160
rest enveloped her. No one would
help her, and she wouldn't fight anymore.

317
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:44,000
She relaxed the muscles of her spirit. Now let the flood overwhelm her.

318
00:27:44,079 --> 00:27:48,279
If it would, let it drown
her utterly. She didn't care.

319
00:27:49,319 --> 00:27:56,759
As the last shred of her resistance
died, the enveloping shadow receded. She

320
00:27:56,759 --> 00:28:02,400
had expected some sort of cataclysm.
Had been fighting the unseen, whatever it

321
00:28:02,599 --> 00:28:08,240
was, Madness visions with all her
strength, opposing her puny might to its

322
00:28:08,319 --> 00:28:15,400
force. At times it seemed to
her coming near victory with Graham's help,

323
00:28:15,759 --> 00:28:22,519
almost sure victory. But now it
stood aloof days passed and nothing happened.

324
00:28:23,599 --> 00:28:29,519
The outer surfaces of life were serene, and yet all of life was altered,

325
00:28:30,039 --> 00:28:33,960
and beta must go through her miserable
treadmill of thought. She would sit

326
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:40,680
long hours staring into vacancy, thinking
over the minutest details of the events of

327
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:45,839
the day. She dwelt on,
each small, meaningless act, half of

328
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:49,640
whose torment lay in its very insignificance, the fact that there was nothing to

329
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:55,920
tell. That you couldn't touch or
taste or explain, not to anybody,

330
00:28:56,359 --> 00:29:02,160
not even to yourself, without seeming
to talk in terms of medness. Such

331
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:08,799
things she would say to herself didn't
happen. And yet while nothing happened from

332
00:29:08,839 --> 00:29:14,960
one day to another, there was
a steady onflow of small details. Whatever

333
00:29:15,039 --> 00:29:18,680
it was, this nameless and faceless
thing, was crawling upon her. Beta

334
00:29:18,759 --> 00:29:26,079
realized like some dark tide, unseizing, unresting, while she slept, while

335
00:29:26,079 --> 00:29:33,559
she walked without let up, without
rest. Oh, that something would happen

336
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:38,559
to hasten it. Oh, that
some tangible event would happen, so that

337
00:29:38,599 --> 00:29:45,759
she could cry out, I've seen, I know. The only thing to

338
00:29:45,839 --> 00:29:49,440
be seen with the eyes was that
the house her creature, was changing an

339
00:29:49,519 --> 00:29:56,799
aspect under her hand. Her own
hand eagerly obliterated the changes she had made

340
00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:03,119
when she had become Graham's wife.
Yet the changes came with terrible and relentless

341
00:30:03,319 --> 00:30:08,880
slowness. One day, a shade
pulled down, a window shut a picture

342
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:15,559
of her choosing suppressed. The order
of some books changed, nothing more,

343
00:30:15,319 --> 00:30:21,000
but each change accomplished by her hand, and with a sense of fierce inner

344
00:30:21,079 --> 00:30:26,240
joy. She would walk up and
down, up and down, absorbed in

345
00:30:26,279 --> 00:30:32,759
her own emotions, unconscious of the
flight of time, and obscurely conscious that

346
00:30:32,839 --> 00:30:37,559
time dragged, that time stood still, that the hours whirled around her,

347
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:44,839
unnoticed and that she and her sick
fear alone stood still in the swirling,

348
00:30:45,079 --> 00:30:51,519
shifting universe. Sometimes she would fill
hours with balancing up which she would prefer,

349
00:30:52,279 --> 00:30:56,880
this nameless horror, this thing that
couldn't be, that was poisoning her,

350
00:30:56,319 --> 00:31:02,759
perhaps killing her, or madness.
She would laugh, long, silent

351
00:31:02,839 --> 00:31:06,799
laughter, on the irony of fate
that put such a choice before her.

352
00:31:07,079 --> 00:31:11,880
Of all people, she who had
been praised always for her sanity, she

353
00:31:12,839 --> 00:31:17,759
to whom Elaine had turned in her
first illness of the spirit as a friend.

354
00:31:18,519 --> 00:31:23,640
Meantime, her life with Graham went
on with unbroken surface, so unbroken

355
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:29,440
that she could have screamed at him. Yet she knew with the sickening certainty

356
00:31:29,599 --> 00:31:33,440
that he watched her covertly from around
some doors, as it were, that

357
00:31:33,519 --> 00:31:37,799
he was always pretending to be doing
something else, and yet was watching her.

358
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:44,400
He too, with smiling face and
frozen heart, was living in an

359
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:48,960
obscure hell, spying upon her,
watching for a look of the eye,

360
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:52,200
for a gesture of the hand,
while he had let the whole change in

361
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:59,519
the house pass by unnoticed. Anyway, if he watched her, then she

362
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:05,680
watched him forever. Growing in her
was a curious distrust of him distrust of

363
00:32:05,759 --> 00:32:10,839
what she couldn't tell She didn't trust
him. That was all her logical mind

364
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:15,279
that rejected the whole situation, had
to go through its torment and had to

365
00:32:15,319 --> 00:32:22,880
ask questions of her tormented heart.
Did she distrust his love? There was

366
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:25,880
no reason for it, and yet
he never left the house, But suspicion,

367
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:31,440
nameless and groundless, filled her whole
being with an ever increasing anguish.

368
00:32:34,039 --> 00:32:37,480
She suffered when he was with her, suffered from the suspicion of his suspicion

369
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:43,000
that he must read into her heart
and hate and despise her for her ever

370
00:32:43,079 --> 00:32:46,759
growing distrust, a distrust that didn't
even seek to pin itself to anything.

371
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:52,279
If she could only have accused him
of something, if only for one little

372
00:32:52,319 --> 00:32:58,160
moment, there was some real complaint
against him, she herself would cry,

373
00:32:58,759 --> 00:33:02,119
even if she watched, even if
she peered from behind a closed blind at

374
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:07,519
him. Oh my dear, I
know you are good and true. It

375
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:13,559
isn't I watching you, It isn't
I accusing you, And yet I must

376
00:33:13,559 --> 00:33:16,599
suffer, as though I knew you
were waiting a knife in your hand to

377
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:22,559
stab me when my back is turned, beta waited as loving women wait,

378
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:27,839
who know that their hour is come
when the beloved is gone from them,

379
00:33:28,039 --> 00:33:34,279
and worse than that that he lies, they must wait with loving and beating

380
00:33:34,319 --> 00:33:37,559
hearts for the death of their spirits
to be dealt out to them shamefully and

381
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:44,119
coward wise. And since they cannot
believe their lover's cowards as well as traitors,

382
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:49,960
they still believe in the face of
unbelief. This was Beta's torment.

383
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:55,079
Believing him upright, believing him true, She must suffer for an unbelief,

384
00:33:57,039 --> 00:34:00,400
knowing that he loved her alone.
She must watch each mood as it passed

385
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:06,720
by for corroboration of what she knew
was not. She must watch all his

386
00:34:06,839 --> 00:34:12,039
comings and goings. She must read
dislike and suspicion in his gaze, the

387
00:34:12,119 --> 00:34:15,280
dislike that a man has for a
woman whose claims sever him from the beloved.

388
00:34:17,199 --> 00:34:22,320
Then, as to thousands of women
before her, came the need of

389
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:29,119
knowing certainty. Certainty was what she
wanted, for good or bad, to

390
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:35,199
know the torment in which she lived. Oh, she would think to herself,

391
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:43,400
if I could only know, But
her mind would answer know what She

392
00:34:43,559 --> 00:34:47,480
lived continually, as though on the
eve of some discovery. A little further,

393
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:52,360
and she would know what the monstrous
certainty was of which she wished to

394
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:57,719
be sure. If she looked into
the black pool of her uncertainty long enough,

395
00:34:58,199 --> 00:35:00,800
she felt the answer would come.
There must be an answer to all

396
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:06,599
this that she suffered, and somehow
she felt it lay in Graham somehow,

397
00:35:06,639 --> 00:35:10,559
and Graham she must find it.
His very dumbness was to her the corroboration

398
00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:16,480
of his blameless guilt. She hated
his smiling face, She hated his pretense.

399
00:35:17,199 --> 00:35:22,360
She wanted with all her strength to
cry out, say what you think,

400
00:35:23,199 --> 00:35:30,280
Say what you suspect. Then one
night, as she sat in his

401
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:35,559
room, and while their lips talked
the pleasant commonplaces of happily married people,

402
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:40,159
she realized that the answer to the
riddle lay in his desk. She knew

403
00:35:40,159 --> 00:35:45,360
it was there there, intangible form, was the answer of all her torment

404
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:52,000
and all her suspicion, if she
could only look. She waited, frozen

405
00:35:52,079 --> 00:35:55,679
in her own impatience, for the
slow moments to drag past on their leaden

406
00:35:55,760 --> 00:36:01,599
feet. She sat waiting until Graham
go upstairs and go to sleep beside her,

407
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:07,519
so she could come down and find
out what lay there. There was

408
00:36:07,559 --> 00:36:14,400
no fight now, She Beta Beta
with honor like a man's honor, waited

409
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:20,159
with beating heart, her breath coming
short, for the evening to pass and

410
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:27,800
for Graham to sleep, that she
might commit the one unforgivable crime he slept

411
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:31,840
at last Beda got out of bed, put on her dressing gown and slippers,

412
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:38,000
and went noiselessly down the stairs.
She made no sound, not a

413
00:36:38,039 --> 00:36:43,280
stair creaked. It was as though
she went through each of the little acts

414
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:47,159
like some highly trained mechanism, as
though all her life had been one rehearsal

415
00:36:47,199 --> 00:36:52,000
for this moment. It was as
though she had been rehearsing all her life

416
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:57,920
for this, that without noise she
might get up, dress herself, go

417
00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:01,599
downstairs, without noise, and light
her candle in the library. Then walked

418
00:37:01,599 --> 00:37:07,960
swiftly and with the directness of a
homing pigeon to Graham's desk, to Graham's

419
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:15,559
desk, where the answer of everything
lay. In the strange and painful universe

420
00:37:15,559 --> 00:37:19,559
in which Beta had been living,
the only certainty that she had was that

421
00:37:19,599 --> 00:37:22,559
there was the answer, the explanation
of the riddle, and that she was

422
00:37:22,599 --> 00:37:27,519
about to find it, that she
must find it, even at the price

423
00:37:27,519 --> 00:37:30,800
of her own honor. At the
breaking down of the things most essential in

424
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:37,159
her nature meant nothing. She went
unfalteringly to where the desk stood, with

425
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:43,039
the candle in her hand. Unfalteringly, she pulled out a little drawer and

426
00:37:43,119 --> 00:37:46,920
took from it a bundle of letters. They were tied neatly. Graham was

427
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:52,719
exact and methodical in all his ways. As she opened them, a little

428
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:57,840
picture fluttered down, a snapshot of
herself, sent to Graham long ago.

429
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:01,000
And then she recognized in the letters
her own head, writing nothing else.

430
00:38:02,199 --> 00:38:07,480
Her letters were what she had come
to find. Her letters written to Graham

431
00:38:07,559 --> 00:38:13,800
long ago, written during his brief
absences from Elaine, telling of Elaine's change

432
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:17,519
from day to day, written to
him when she was away, Letters for

433
00:38:17,639 --> 00:38:22,199
all the world to read, Letters
without one word of affection beyond that of

434
00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:30,679
a kindly friendship. Her own letters. That was the answer, her friendship

435
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:35,920
and Graham's That was the keynote of
this mystery. For a second she stood

436
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:40,679
there, not willing to understand.
Then came crowding on her memories of Elaine's

437
00:38:40,679 --> 00:38:45,880
looks and her sudden appearances in the
room where she and Graham sat, talking

438
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:52,239
innocently, so innocently that no thought
of what Elaine meant had crossed their minds.

439
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:57,000
So Bada stood motionless, her own
letters in her hand, a terrible

440
00:38:57,039 --> 00:39:00,719
figure, as though she held there
a proof of her own blood guilt.

441
00:39:00,599 --> 00:39:05,760
And the question now arose to her
mind, when did we first begin to

442
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:09,079
care for each other? And was
I here for Elaine? Or was I

443
00:39:09,119 --> 00:39:15,840
here for Graham's sake? She had
come for Elaine, but she had stayed

444
00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:20,960
for Graham, and before Elaine's tragic
death, she had been the only comfort

445
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:24,719
that he had had. Then she
heard a step behind her, and then

446
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:30,679
his voice, and instead of her
own name, Elaine, he called,

447
00:39:30,679 --> 00:39:36,840
and then with a face of horror
and her hands outstretched in a gesture terrible

448
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:39,880
and tragic, a gesture they knew
well, and that was not her own.

449
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:45,960
She cried, yes, Elaine,
if you like, Why did you

450
00:39:45,039 --> 00:39:51,599
keep these letters? You who never
keep any letters? He tried to recover

451
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:57,159
himself. Are you mad, Beta, he said, but the sternness of

452
00:39:57,199 --> 00:40:01,760
his voice faltered. Oh, she
took up. I wish I were.

453
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:07,920
You could shut me up, then
madness would be easy. We killed her,

454
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:12,000
You and I between us killed her. She trusted us, and we

455
00:40:12,079 --> 00:40:17,199
killed her. She trusted us and
we tortured her. Hush, said Graham,

456
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:22,639
you don't know what you're saying.
Beta. You're not well. You've

457
00:40:22,639 --> 00:40:28,199
not been well for a long time. No, she agreed, I've not

458
00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:32,000
been well, but you've said nothing
about it. Graham. It's a very

459
00:40:32,039 --> 00:40:37,440
strange illness. I've had what's been
its name, Graham, what doctor's curate.

460
00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:45,119
You've tried not to believe what couldn't
be believed. Such things can't happen.

461
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:49,159
That's what you've said to yourself when
my face has frightened you, when

462
00:40:49,159 --> 00:40:52,480
you came into the room and thought
Elaine was standing here. But how should

463
00:40:52,519 --> 00:40:57,960
I have come where I am now
to find my own letters, my letters

464
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:01,440
that you kept, My letters that
I've been waiting so long to find.

465
00:41:04,079 --> 00:41:09,679
Listen, Beta will go away.
You're ill, We'll go away. She

466
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:15,920
saw that he couldn't admit what he
had seen in his man's world. Such

467
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:21,159
things couldn't be But it made no
difference to her. Now she held her

468
00:41:21,159 --> 00:41:28,000
proof in her hand. We'll go
away and forget these weeks, he repeated.

469
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:34,280
We'll do what you like. It
won't alter anything we know now,

470
00:41:35,119 --> 00:41:40,480
Beta answered dully, for she knew
as Graham did that there was no flight

471
00:41:40,559 --> 00:41:45,920
possible for them, no refuge that
they could take anywhere in the world.

472
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:51,599
Apart or together, they had heard
the voice from the other side of silence.

473
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:55,440
There was no country where they could
take refuge, no place to go

474
00:41:55,920 --> 00:42:00,760
that would blot out from Graham's memory
the picture of Ada leaning over his desk,

475
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:07,639
her letters in her hand. End
of the Second Wife