Bottled Up Bitches is hosted by a horny married couple. Content may include adult
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It's season five. Welcome back to Bottles Up Bitches, your favorite sex
podcast hosted by already married couple with me Rihanna Campbell and me producer Man Adam.
Sex shouldn't be taboo or embarrassing, so let's talk about it. Stay
horny bitches. All they holidays, Happy holidays for our audience member. We
just recorded for ten minutes with the mics being muted. That's not true.
Okay, that's gaslighting it. It's finest, guys. I nailed it.
Hi Adam, Hi, Hi everybody. Welcome back to another episode of Bottled
Up Bitches, your favorite sex podcast with Me, Rihanna and me. Adam
Rivers Here. Adam's Paul Pop is here. Give us a shake, give
that give that white boy. Yeah, for the for the girls that shake
their ice cold coffees in the morning. You know, shake my coffee girl.
This guy be shaking that polar Pop. He'd be shaking that Polar Pop
pussy. I'll tell you what I don't do. People know what a polar
Pop is the trash do Yeah, I'm just kidding. I don't know.
We're circlecase it. I don't know if that's a regional thing. Oh,
it's just a styrofoam cook for the gas station to fountain drink. And I
don't think you're trash if you drink polar pop. It's just like a fun
I feel like it's a backwoods thing, like you Adam, where you prefer
a soda in a star fund. I think it is. Yeah, I
do think I do. I do surprise you don't, by the way,
I do myself things like this sometimes. But he held things like that because
yeah, polio correct correct. Well, I told you the story about my
grandma walking in and seeing how my dad was putting his pants on. Yeah,
and was like why, and she goes, that's how dad did it.
Yeah, he had to do it a weird way because hell. But
yeah, I do think it is like a weird Southern I do think it
is a white trash thing, the like styri giant styrofoam cup with soda in
it. Yeah, big sodi, big big sodi energy. Yeah. I
mean I can't think of the amount of like family get together is growing up
where everyone shows up with a giant like Root forty four sonic. Yeah,
drink, that's fair. That's fair. That's fair. Mine is I like
my my reusable aluminum I like I like my little Pinka. Do you like
your little tumbler? I do? I love my little tumbler. I'm stating
the oceans. That's fair. Me alone, You're welcome alone, You're welcome
world, You're welcome ducks and turtles. Yeah, well, I gathered you
here today. This is one of the first episodes. I think I'm leading.
We usually like do them together, and we both have an idea.
You have no idea. What's happening? I've given you like a couple of
Can you tell me what you know? This is the porn one? Yes,
yeah, that's what I know. Oh okay, I know we're talking
about porn. Yes, we're talking about porn again because I went down a
wild rabbit hole the other day. Yes, you briefly, you briefly you
essentially what you just said is what you told me. Yeah, it was
an interesting time. So, Adam, I don't know where you were working
doing something important? Who knows? Oh? Yeah, I got off work
wanted to relax. I took an edible, and I have been meaning to
ask you this because, as you know, I get very horny when i'm
high, and it seems across the born and horny when i'm high doesn't matter
if I'm smoking whatever you're eating. Yeah, what have you yours? Your
highs differ, you have different things affect you differently. I'm always horny.
Just have bun Uh. Do you ever get horny when you're high? I
get horry at the end, okay, at the tail end of it.
Once I start coming down, I am either I am either high I'm sorry.
Once I start coming down, I am either horn or very sleepy.
So yeah, I was always curious about that, because, yeah, I
get very horny, and I usually, like, you know, get all
over you and rub you down, and I can't tell. I'm like,
you're now horny because I'm all over you, or if you're like, also
you have urges, Yeah, you get if you get the urges. It
definitely depends. Okay, I would say it's a little inconsistent. It's not
based on the product that you're consuming at all. You're like, oh,
and I eat the lemon edibles, I'm not horny at all. I don't
believe I think what these these current ones were doing. It's been more of
that. The lemon ones. I was like, the lemon ones affected you.
Yeah, the lemon ones I enjoyed them, like they didn't affect me
in a bad way. But the lemon ones, I was like, don't
touch me. Yeah, or you know what I mean. I liked kindling
with you, but I was like, sex is not even in the kitchen
in the dining room at this point. Yeah, no, I get that,
Okay, well cool. I was just curious because yeah, I'm always
horny and I I don't want to say I love getting high when you're not
home, but it's really fun when I guess just when I get high by
my myself, because I can act on those urges immediately. Sure, yeah,
no, foreplay, I grab my little vibrator. I barely get my
pants down because I'm like it's happening. It's so much, it's too much.
I barely get my pants down. I'm like, I need to rub
one out. And I'll tell you what I'm horny at everything, Like that's
the only time the porn ads where I'm like, yeah, like for stupid
reasons, like everything, like you know I'm watching TV. Whatever's happening on
TV. I'm like, I'm horny now. I know what it feels like
to be a thirteen year old boy. Truly, No, absolutely, that's
what happens to me when I'm high. I gets so so horny. Well,
our season anyone who listened to season one when it was still available knows
of you getting horny from a bagel? I forgot that. Can you provide
some context for the people that weren't around for season one? If I remember
correctly, there's just this video going around of a guy picking up, like
picking up a bagel by putting his fingers in the Oh my god, I'm
horny thinking I'm wet sop, which is so funny because that video the guy
had the grossest dirty I don't think that's true. It's not true at all.
Yeah, I remember that those are good times, simpler days, weren't
they. They weren't simple at all. Those days were horrendous. Yeah,
So everything makes me very horny when i'm high. So I The hard part
though, is that although I have some paid for options for porn, I
I just want something very specific, you know, I don't feel like I
actually don't want the storyline when I when I'm high, I want a bank
bank bank. You're wanting to get in and out. Yeah, I am
in and out. Burger is where it's at. And so I go on
the porn hub. I know I shouldn't. I'm sorry, like I'm working
through this, but I have not because I don't use porn hub very often
or and I don't really masturbate to porn at all. I am terrible at
searching, so I have been surprised I've gotten more specific and the results were
even more specific. I was like, I was like, really, oh
well just look that up. Yeah. Yeah. In my mind, whatever
you type in it'll come up with something. Those websites aren't like that.
There's like, you know, you're just similar. I forget that sex is
so faceted in nuanced, and that naturally the porn available is also really nuanced,
and I put it but in a different way though with women porn,
it is more like it's called date nine. It's a married couple and they
come home and the nanny's there, and you know what I mean, it's
not I'm not with I feel like with female porn it's not the same where
I can look up like gang bang you mean like yeah, you know,
just like the trigger words. Not that I was looking at ganging. Nothing
wrong, gangs, bank, gang bangs, but they have not aroused me
yet. I'm too it's too weird for me. There's a lot going on.
It just seems stressful. That seems mean. I'm not gonna use the
word weird. I'm sorry I use that word. It's more of just like
uncomfortable because imagine myself in that situation and I'm like, ah, there's too
many people watching, not everyone's getting touched at the same time. It's just
too much for me. The logistics really for they really do. It's all
the operations, honestly. So I pull out my vibrator. I'm like,
okay, porn Hub is happening, and I was like, what really gets
me going? And I was like, the world is your oyster Rihanna fuck
it up? And I was like, you know what, not only will
I fuck it up, I'm gonna suck it up multiple times because there are
multiple things I want to watch and I'm going to really take my time here.
So I was like straight up edging myself. I was pretty proud,
but I was like, you know a while back, I gave you a
lap dance and we had sex, and I love that, Like that's kind
of a fan. I don't think I've ever had that fantasy, like in
general, until it happened, yeah with you mainly, Yeah, like I
was there because when I was dancing, it's not like I was giving lap
dance. It's like imagine having sex, Like that's not what was happening at
all. It's usually was like why is this song playing? Sure, which
I'll circle back to. So I was like, I love a good lap
dance, so I would love to see that fantasy if someone giving a lap
dance. And the videos that were coming up were not my favorite. It
was a lot of awkward. It wasn't like amateur I wanted amateur. I
was too forced acting and awkward because there's you just hear the clue, they're
like heels clacking on the tile. So home, I don't want it.
I want it in the club or a club setting, or in a dark
room nonetheless, you know what I mean. But it was just like all
lights on in a kitchen on the sofa, like the kitchen right there on
the stairs, you know what I mean. I was like no, this
is not this is not doing it for me. So I think I looked
up I think I looked up strip club instead. I was like, I
want to see strip club, so I look up strip club instead. And
I'm gonna pause and look at my notes really quickly because I want to make
sure that skipping something. I am skipping something before I'm even looking upwards.
Banjo will kno get off of me. Okay, one of our cats,
one of our cats has never had this problem. Like usually what I'm first
of all, my vibrator usually scares the cats, which I love. If
I start that thing that if I start the puppy up, They're like,
oh I don't like that sound. They all take off and I'm like,
thank you, I need alone time. Banjo would not get off of me
physically, and I was like grabbing him by the face. I was like,
I am in the middle of something. So he eventually just like tuckered
himself out and just like sat by my leg. But even still, I
was like, oh, dude, wha make some friends. We touch some
grass, like out sit out of here. Yeah, you know, like
I love my pets, but I don't want them to see me yanking and
a wanken for for he did you just speak for real? Like shit,
say for sure, for I love you? So that's happening. So I
like my notes that says lap dance parentheses fail, parentheses, strip club parentheses
better. Better. So I look up strip club and yes, like,
PAUI, why do you keep saying parentheses, parentheses, parentheses? Why do
you say parentusses parentheses? Ye know, I'm not judging you or making fun
of you. It was just I've never heard that before. I think,
I think I'm I think I'm ambidexterous, got it all right? So yeah,
I'm looking at the strip club options, and they're way better. They're
in the strip club. There are multiple women in some of them and like
stripperware, like giving like one guy. I'm like, like a three way
dance. Nice. I'm seeing that some of these are kind of in a
weird space in a strip club, like in a kitchen. Oh, and
I realized that they're not just giving lap dances, that they're having sex.
So now I'm down a rabbit hole, like, oh my god, are
these sex workers and are they being forced against their will to like have sex
for money? And I was like that just like yeah. I was like,
oh no. I was like, no, that's not what's happening,
Rihanna to click click. Surely that's not a kitchen. So I clicked that
one, and you know you saw it like the little like preview. Yes,
yes, I'm just scrolling through my option. I'm like, you know
what, don't wreck this for yourself, think about it later. So I
was like, this, that's probably not a kitchen. It's probably just weird,
and so like, welcome to the world of porn. Don't ruin it
for you, just think about it later. So I watch it and yeah,
it's like two girls giving a guy a lap dance, and everything seems
pretty I don't say standard. They were definitely there was definitely too much touching
and they were speaking Spanish, so I was like, okay, they're speaking
Espane all neat. And I mean when I was a dancer, there was
lots of women who only spoke Spanish and that was great because there's a lot
of clientele who also spoke Spanish, so or Spanish wasn't their first language.
I one guy who had a full conversation with me is like, can you'll
get me someone that speaks Spanish? And I was like, okay, like
we're having so much fun here, and he was like, this is not
my first language and I don't want to talk in this language. I was
like, oh, just took me. I'm ugly, but no, Like
I went and got one of the girls where I was like, I just
like grat I can't speak to where I'm like, just give me. I
just point at him and she's like oh okay. And and those girls were
shaped like these girls like very very bbl latina, latina. Those are the
girls that don't have And this is respect, like mad respect if I you
know, if I paid all that money for that body, addioddy, Because
I'm not trying to be rude, it is not It is not natural at
all, Like I'm seeing it in you know, a dental floss y u
G string. I'm looking at every bell and curve that is not natural.
It is stacked crazy, respectfully, because pro these surgeries might also be done
in Mexico because they are less expensive there, and then that's there's a whole
market for bbls and you know things like that. So not at all natural
bodies whatsoever. And those women do not have to touch that pole when they're
on stage, they hold the pole with their hands and they just sway.
They don't do tricks. Their feet does not leave the ground, they don't
do floor They are not dancing. They are swaying because men come in and
look at them and they're like, you're the one and mat respect. I
have to realize I have to audition sure men. That's why I have to
do more stage work. So they're dancing, and I'm like, this is
a real strip club because I can hear a DJ in the back, but
he's also speaking Spanish, so I'm like, oh, this is probably in
Mexico, okay, and it is a full strip club because heyes, I
hear the DJ, and I also hear that they're dancing too. Nothing else
matters by Metallica, and I'm like, yep, that checks out. Weird
that happens all the time, and dances to tool to selightning crashes. For
some reason, nineties is the way to go. Yeah, So I'm like,
wow, but yeah, this is clearly not in a in the club
itself, because I see people going in and out of a door like a
kid, like a backroom. Sure, so whether it's a kitchen or not,
it's a back room, so they're giving dance. I'm having a good
time. And then yeah, sure enough, like they have sex, and
I'm like, oh man, so like so I finished, and then I
well, like I had, I had come like right before they started having
shit. To be fair, it was just the lap dance alone that does
it for you. Doesn't say your primary thing is the lap dancing is what
you're looking for here? Yeah, And I noticed that the video was much
longer, and I was like, there weren't even like naked at that point.
And I saw that at one point in thumbnail that they are naked eventually,
so I scrolled. I'm like, oh, they do have sex.
I'm like, okay, you know, in a perfect happy world, maybe
these maybe these women are filming a video with someone they know and they trust,
and they all consent and they're all getting paid big bucks. And this
is oh this is also from a bird's eye view, like right above them.
Weird, okay, but like on the ceiling, like it's hard,
it's not like that they're actually their heads I'm seeing, That's what I was
saying. I can see all three of them, I can see the rats
on the side, I can see the flippant door going with interesting. Yeah,
the lap dance itself, I'm is like in one eighth of the frame
weird. Okay, it did it for me, I'm sure. I say
I want it for the security vib but that made me sad because I was
like, oh, man, like I need know the logistics. Do they
have a partnership with the with with the strip club of like, can you
give me the video and I'll pay you out and I'm gonna put it on
boorn up. Maybe it's on their only fans. They're getting paid. I
just want to make sure everyone's happy and they're getting paid, because I don't
have any issue with strippers dancers doing full service work in the club. When
I was working in the club, there was a huge stigma about that,
and it does suck if you're a dancer because then everyone expected men expect that
all the women are full service and that's not true. Yeah, so that
that does complicating new work. But outside of that, I don't have any
problem with that because these women need a safe place to perform that kind of
sex work. Yeah, is it illegal yes? No, no, no,
sure, but you know what I mean, Like if you yeah,
I do think making it happen. You're not wrong, you like your strategy
is valid, but I do think having it in the club also adds out
their levels of issues. Like what I think, I kind of like you
said, I think it can cause issues with other dancers. I think it
can cause like you said, you know, it creates that stigma that other
dancers will want to do it. I think it can almost cause pressure from
other dancers who maybe don't want to do it, but feel pressure to do
it whenever it's happening right there next to them. This is true, big
fact. It's also just a huge liability for the for the I'm not thinking
about ops and not thinking about any of that piece because for when it's illegal.
So yeah, that causes an issue if the club gets shut down and
then you know, police officers and it's a sting. Yeah. Absolutely,
and then all the other things that have to do with the other dancers that
are not involved. Absolutely, there's so much that's not okay with that.
I'm just talking about that sex worker. Let's say like she keeps it on
the DL, she doesn't do it, she doesn't like offer that to all
her clients. She's got like three or four consistent clients that she does full
service work with. I just want that worker to have a safe place to
do it, because privacy in sex work is death, you know. Yeah,
so for that, like I have that, I have that empathy for
the dancer alone. So I do follow you. I agree with you,
yeah, because it doesn't matter how much you get dances or you have sex
with the same person, Like you don't know. This person's a crazy person
and it's going to murder you. So yeah, I go through all that
and I'm like, ah, man. So, like I get out of
that video and I notice a lot of them are very similar, and so
I'm looking and then I noticed the Espanol and I'm like, oh my god,
this is a huge thing in Mexico. So then I'm like, of
course there's a red light district, like in Mexico. I feel like every
land has a red light district, right, But then I realized some of
the videos were labeled like exclusive. I don't remember what the exclusive da da
da club Da da da. And I'm like, oh my god, are
they using this as promotional videos? So I click one of those and yeah,
it's like women being bent, like these dancers being bent over getting fucked
from behind and stuff. I'm like, they're using this as promotional tools,
like there are full strip clubs where they're promoting it as you can have sex
here. I thought that was wild, Like I was just like, oh
shit, And I was like, ah, I don't know if I would
want to be in one of those release videos, like that's a lot,
and I was kind of I didn't look it up, but I was like,
is Mexico is full service work legal in Mexico? And I don't know.
Done. I don't know, that's a good question. Didn't look it
up. So I'm going, can you look at you talking? Yeah,
yeah, you're my fact checker, So look that up because I was like,
this is on porn hub. The club name is on it. There's
one, literally one person to be on the fucking list for this, uh
private incognito it please window it. Just I don't know y'all are hearing it
too. We have evidence that we're looking at, yeah, for science.
For science. I'm very curious if it's if it's legal there, because yeah,
the club name is on it. It's a it was a promotional video
on porn hub, so they can easily get reported or shut down. Or
fined or sent to jail. So how is that possible? Prostitution in Mexico
is legal under federal law? Is legal? Wow? Each of the thirty
one states and acts its own prostitution laws and policies. Thirteen of the states
of Mexico allow and regulate prostitution. Prostitution involving minors under eighteen was illegal.
Interesting, okay, And I also want to point out haavn and sorry,
yeah, uh, sex work was officially decriminalized in Mexico City on May twenty
first, twenty nineteen. This is recent. Wow, very cool, And
I just wanted to point out that we don't condone the word prostitute. Yeah,
that's just what the Google says. And I googled that just because I
knew it would be an easier search term. But you are correct, yes,
because that's also what you get charged with. You get charged with sex
work. Correct, Well, you're being served with full service sex work,
right, they arrested for prostitution. So I was just surprised. So I
was just surprised. Yeah that makes sense. I'm okay, that makes me
happier. I didn't I was too high to look that up. So I
just was like I gotta have this conversation with this later, get his thoughts
and all this because I was surprised, Yeah, by the name, the
names of the clubs, and the amount of the fact that I just look
up strip club on porn Hub takes you to a bunch of videos and tea.
The club was in Tijuana. It takes you to majority of the Latin
market of having sex in the club. Yeah, it's tough. I also,
you know, I get nervous about, like how safe are those women
still, whether it's legal or not. Like, you know, I think
about, like, what's the place in Nevada, the Bunny Ranch of the
Mustang Ranch, the one with you you've seen her on like you follow her
on TikTok. She works at the Mustang the Mustang Ranch. So I think
of like the Mustang Ranch, you know, their whole they they seem to
have like their women are very safe health wise. They take you know,
precautionary efforts very well, you know, make sure everyone's safe and healthy.
Where I'm like, I can't imagine these places are putting a too much effort
into that. Yeah, I mean We've talked about this, and I think
we need to just save our money, and that's that We're just do a
full exclusive episode. I think we need to go up there, Yeah,
hire our professional threesome and get to interview the owners because the owners have their
own podcasts for sure. No, I want to absolutely, And that's why
I use them because everything I've seen from them, they seem to be doing
things very well. So I use them as kind of like two women.
Yeah, and I use them as kind of the standard. Right, We've
been on the website very it's very nice. Big shout out to Mustang granch
That's our dream, that's the goal, the dream, the dream, Well,
we've talked about it's something we want to do. We want to have
a professional threesome with a professional someone that can lead us through that and understands
that they're not the star, you know what I mean. You know this
isn't about you. Yeah, absolutely, and they know that. And ensuring
that we're getting someone safe and clean. Someone's safe, clean, experienced,
polite. You know, people come from far and wide and zero like with
emotional just a transactionary thing. Yes, and it's also but also on the
other coin, I believe I don't know for sure how these work. I
don't know if it's by the hour, I can't imagine. I think it's
a lot of overnights is what they usually get, because it's usually people wanting,
like I can't imagine that place is just in and out, like it's
not. I can't imagine it's by the hour. That's a good question.
You want to look it up. I mean, I'm not going to need
it an hour, but I feel like it's got to say on the website,
like how how the transaction works. And I will not put this on
INCOG because I'm not embarrassed. I'm not embarrassed. I feel like if it
were going to be in segments, I feel like three hours would be the
minimum. Like this, this sex worker charges six hundred dollars an hour with
a three hour minimum. You know, but remember when we were on there,
it had like packages. It was like a package for a threesome,
a package for pleasure menu. Pleasure menu, Yes, what's the pleasure men?
You say? So? They have special shows. You can get a
line dur a show, a vibrator show, shower show, two or more,
girl show, drag party that's funny, sexy cinema, sit with a
lady of your choice, and enjoy the best and adult. Oh that's fun.
You can just like hire someone to watch born with you, love for
play, new massage, breast massage, French tease, fire and ice.
Yeah, there's like weird. There's wild forest chair party. What that means?
Bet, you can't sit still, pull up a chair and watch your
lady go down on you and then reverse the roles as you pleasure her.
That's what a wild horse chair party is. This is just very specific that
you don't it makes sense that, but just that there's a survey or something
wild horse round. Okay, So here's the full pleasure menus straight leg,
conventional missionary style sex. Is that a price? No, and it probably
ranges by worker wild horse roundup to hell with conventional mix it up in whatever
position you wish. Try our sex wing or any one of our carefully selected
and specifically engineered sex furnishings. Okay, half and half. How you start
and how you finish this up to your oral and straight sex Menagetois house recommendation
the classic two. I guess that's it for you to hire two people.
Okay, we would probably have to ask them how that goes. I'm trying
to find we can't be the only couple they're gonna be like, ye,
yeah, well yeah, I can't imagine they're gonna be like I don't know,
no one's ever done this, but I don't. But it doesn't look
like they have like on their menu a clear thing. Their website is just
fun to look at. I'll tell you that much. There's a lot of
beautiful naked women on it. I don't I think we would have to like
inquire. I don't see it makes sense because, like I said, I
think every worker will charge different things for that. Yeah, we can get
a calendar for twenty dollars. You can get hats. They got a home
merch line. Look through the ladies. Look through the ladies and tell me
who you would want us to have a trade way with. And let's let's
be clear. These are all beautiful women like that. You don't have any
commentary on anybody, like everybody models Wow, damn girl. Yeah no,
everybody. Every single one of these women is Yeah. I mean, I
don't know if there's one on here that I'm like, wouldn't want. All
these women are quality. Yeah, it's very interesting how their schedules work too.
It's very like an on and off schedule. You're there for a certain
amount of time and then you're off for a certain amount of time. Vivian
stunning. Yeah, but you kind also like ourchriropractor. Yikes. Yeah,
I don't. I feel like all of these I'd be fine with. Yeah,
maybe not all of them. Well, there's always any preferences. Sure,
there all stunnying, They're all stunning. Yeah, No, I think
they've got quite a collection. If they literally said we only have one person
available for your threesome, is this person? I'd be like, yeah,
yeah, for sure, because every single one of these women are stunning.
Yeah, I don't think I would be upset by anyone any standouts. I
guess it's going through them pretty fast now. It's also tough. Not all
of them have a picture. There's a lot of them, and then like,
not all of them have a photo with their face, and that matters
to me? Does that matter to you? Yes? Would you? Would
you book? Would you book one of these? If all the photos were
a body and not a face, how do you feel about that? I
think I'd be fine with it. Like this one stood out to me,
Harley, Yeah, she got big old boom, she gets some tico bitties
and that's there's no face in there. Yeah. If that was the only
picture, and they were like, legit, this is not catfish. This
is the woman you will get. You don't know what our face looks like?
Yeah, like, I'm fine with that face to me. Maybe face
is so important to this one stood out to me too. Who era,
Oh yeah she looks like a bad bitch. She's right, she's got kind
of like a oh, she's got like that innocent face. She's got like
a sweet face. Yeah. Yeah, is that her bush? That's her
bush? No, it's not underpants are now that's that's I want to see.
That's her bush. She's gorgeous. Yea. Good for her? Good
for her? Well a TikTok or I followed that works here. She once
gave a story about a client that had a had that had a penis the
size of a wine bottle. So I wanted to talk to you about that
once you were done with your your your your porn. That is her little
puss puss. I love this. I love that she's hair. Finally,
I love hair. Can I tell you some I'm afraid of when we do
have a three simes, just really fast. I don't know what to do
with my hands and those brusts, like I'm sure that that's why we hire
a professionals, Like they have big boobies. What am I going to do?
You use? Okay, let me or maybe in the moment, I
don't will know what to do with them. Hey, okay, Mexican,
let me read my notes. But it's Mexican. Mexican strip club, rabbit
hole, yay and nays? Are the girls safe? Okay? Uh?
Describe the Mexican lap dance videos almost promo videos, news to me. But
duh, the strip clubs are funny, oh, I said, Well,
I skip some words. I said, describe the Mexican lap dance videos almost
promo videos for sex work in Mexico. News to me, but uh got
it. The strip clubs are funny because of the announcer and bad music.
Talk about that. Oh that is fun okay. My final thing that I
noticed was that there were multiple ads. No not ads, well, no,
they're more like sponsored but there were videos in this that one of the
video recommendations was VR and I was like, I was Oh, I was
like, that's cool. I think that's a good should do? Should we
get a VR headset. So you know what's funny about those too, because
I see those all the time. You can have to let me come back
because you're interrupting it though, sorry, go ahead. I was just gonna
say, VR makes sense, that's funny. We can circle back the one
statement before. I don't forget. I saw funny at the mall. It
was a jewelry store and it said like free VR did it at Samsung VR
headset with a four hundred dollars purchase, and I'm like, they're just bag
They're like, that's that's for the men. That was so funny to be
like all the guys, you'd be like, I'm gonna go get her some
jewels, free vrset. I was like that jewelry store is I'm like what,
I'm like, how hysterical? Back to you, Back to you,
Bob. It's funny because I see those these VR ones pop up and uh,
every time they're the the little thumb now in preview that they show,
I'm always like, that is a video I would love to watch. But
if you watch them without the VR headset, it's like this weird split screen
thing that really throws me off. Sure sure, no, yeah, I
would want I would want a headset for that for sure. Yeah, yeah,
I think that would be fun, fun time. I think that's virtual
strip clubs. I'm sure they have that already, I would imagine, so
you think so can I would you let me be an online sex worker like
that? Like if it's like my avatar? If it's your avatar? Like
what if that was the thing? Like what's the movie? What's the movie?
A total recall? We're like sitting at home, but you're like living
life through like a VR headset player ready player one. No, this is
the one with a I don't know Schorsanger. I think it's total recall.
I don't remember that. I haven't I haven't seen I have don' don't know
if I've ever actually seen total recall. Well I have, and this is
it might be that, but that's a thing like everybody like the world the
future is so crazy that we don't even leave our houses. Sure we have
like these avatars that the right, that's what ready Player one is is too
Oh okay, Yeah, I think that's been in a lot of different things.
I think that's what I was a thing of, Like, well,
that's just an only fans. Yeah, but like VR. You think it
being VR would make me more comfortable with it. No, okay, so
the question I'm asking would you be comfortable with that? I'm not comfortable with
you doing OnlyFans. You let me strip, So what do you I don't
understand what you're wanting to do? Virtual lap dances? Oh maybe I don't
know. All right, Well, I was having fun with my hypotheticals,
but you're just the I just didn't understand. I thought, yo, I
make clear sense. But no, I just thought that was really cool that.
I'm like, that makes total sense. There are so many VR headsets.
Everyone has VR headsets now in my mind, it's still like a foreign
thing that you've seen them all or something. But people just have those in
their houses and they can watch some type of VR porn. I'm like,
that's pretty cool. I would I would definitely want to try that. That's
a tough thing to I don't know how you try that without just buying a
VR headset. Maybe my nephew will get one for Christmas or some shit.
We can ask him he has one. He might have one one that feels
uncomfortable. I don't know about that, to download it on his account.
Delete it. Well, I mean I think you could. I don't know
how uploading things? Do you use the USB drive? Is it? Because
it's just the videos on? Like how do you see the videos? Yeah?
I don't know. I don't know. Someone who understands VR better will
have to tell us, because like I also don't. I don't have any
interest in owning a VR headset, but if I was like rich, I
would buy a VR headset solely for porn, you know what I mean?
Solely because I don't have any interest in using VR headsets, but I think
it would be VR porn would be fun. M you know what I mean?
Sure? This is like, this is like in a world where I
have fuck you money. Okay, Yeah, I wonder what what do you
think I would buy if I had fuck you money? I don't know what
you buy. That's a question for you, buck. Can you to find
what the fuck you money? Suck you money is like, we don't work,
we can we we have let's say we've been the lottery for a billion
dollars. That is fuck you money. Okay, that is fuck you money.
Is like I don't give a fuck you like fuck you I have more
money, like I can do whatever I want. I know, personal chef
Okay, yeah, that's a good one. That's very heart anytime I dream
the dreams of dreams. Yea, my heart of hearts, dream of dreams.
I don't have to cook and eatther do you? And we can be
vegan. I think that's good. Yeah, Like they would make us really
good healthy meals. And when we do want to get shitty, we just
tell them, can we have something for you tonight and they're like, yeah,
I'll make you a shitty meal, Like yeah, they'll they'll make sure
we eat well, that you have the right portion amount, that I have
the right portion amount. We'll be like shitting regularly. Fiber is going to
be great. It would be easy to get on, like a good nutrition
plan. Yeah. Yeah, I think you can take on the world if
we didn't if we didn't have to feed ourselves. Yeah, I think that's
a good idea. So we have a personal chef and of porn via,
Yeah, that's my way. I would just eat through photosynthesis, like dream
those two things. Like what else could we ask for? I don't know,
we're gonna be leave that house yeah and drained. Yeah I know that
that that that that would be mine. Yeah, for sure, for sure?
Is there any more to the porn? Is there any more to the
porn? I ask, because we're coming up near the end and I have
some I had, I have a crazy porn experience for recently, so I
wanted to make sure you got through all your thoughts, all my talking points.
I think so. I think the moral of the story is support your
sex worker and be safe out there. We love you and we care about
you. Yeah, what you got? Okay? And this is kind of
more along the lines I thought you were gonna be when you describe this.
I thought you went on a rabbit hole of like wild porn that just kept
popping up. So this is more along those lines. I had a video
pop up as a suggestion. Why it suggested this to me? I don't
know. And I saw the thumb now and I do you have like a
pornhub account? That's why they say. Is it a general website to make
suggestions or is it based on Hey, Adam, we suggest this for you.
I don't think so. Do you? I don't have an account?
Do you watch it on incognito? Uh? Huh me? Doo? Okay?
So yeah that's yeah. So she just I guess that's what it is.
And this video popped the thumb. Now I saw and I was like,
I have to click on this to figure out is this real? What's
going on? So I clicked on it. The account like it had it
in Watermark was world's Biggest Penis. This thing was scary, like my entire
forearm like, but probably this is probably actually smaller. It was probably like
three or four feet maybe not four fours or data. It was probably like
two and a half to three feet long. It was like, you have
to pull it up now. I don't know if I can. You just
look up world's Biggest Penis on porn Hub. Okay, let me see if
I can find this. You regret regret, I will regret it was I
mean, that sucks. It was startling, Yeah, I mean, and
I mean those That's why a lot of those those people will go and you
know, find a sex worker that can work with them because their sex life
is pretty crummy. Because people are afraid of that. Yeah, well not
afraid, but you know they don't. That is a turn off to them.
You know, they're intimidated or what have you. But I'm sure they're
not having them most sex that they're wanting to have. Yeah, I mean
I did. Look or John Holmes, Oh this is it. John Holmes
talked about like he's the guy that the movie Boogie Nights is roughly based on.
Okay, and he was also the killer, but he talked about in
one of his journals he said like he had to get really good at like
oral sex because he was like, my penis was virtually unusable in like a
normal and outside of porn, just like because it was just too big.
So he couldn't like pleasure a woman with his penis because it was so big,
and like he couldn't get a lot, like too much pleasures from penetration
because he couldn't fit fit very much in there. I want to know what
his what his? We love an ad where's just women bound? Those were
getting me off. I was like yeah, yeah, yeah, okay,
I don't think we can use it sound and that's okay, nerdy college sluts
holds dominated shaking or I think there's like it's like does like a preview of
some of his other stuff. But look, you can see it there,
like it's crazy big. Those look like the like the giant beef lugs that
we get at you know a GB you know what I mean. Yeah,
it's like a it's like five pounds and you got to split it up in
multiple It's very much like this is. I was trying to read the name,
but you interrupted me. They're just using trigger words, so there's there's
no sentence here. What do you mean, Well, it's nerdy college nerdy
oh college sluts, holes dominated, shaking orgasm squirts there that's run on.
Oh my goodness, Well good for him, but most of it, well,
yeah, he couldn't. He would kill her, she'd be dead.
I don't know. I think if there was that strategy of like, hey
I have a I have stop, let me see the phone. That is
big. Hold on like that's crazy, yo, that's some like technacle porn
ship Like it's crazy. Yeah. At first I thought it was really grothy
and really big, but seeing how seeing it from the side, that is
wild because it's just so long. It just protrue. Yeah, I could
like wrap around a woman like he literally has, he genuinely has a third
leg. I could wrap around a woman. You know. That's it just
looks almost like animal like, like it's a big word. It looks like
a horse penis I've never seen a horse penis there. No, they're bad.
You're looking at one right now? Yeah, No, that's wild.
Her arm is going to be so so so sore, her arms, her
mouth is going to be Are you kidding me? Oh? Yeah, well
there's no way there's that. It's not all teeth, right, because there's
no way that. Well, you can only fait like his head in there,
you do that, I guess. Oh this is mean. Yeah,
no, this is not a fun video. This is not good. It's
not a fun video. I'm sure she's good. Holy cow. Yeah,
terrifying. Yeah, oh that I feel bad for that guy. Not that
guy because he does bad porn, but men that have large penises. That's
tough. Yeah. No, it doesn't seem like a fun as fun a
living as you know. I feel like the fantasy is. Yeah. I've
always said you've had you have really good boyfriend, Dick, and that's how
I describe you. Yeah, you talk amongst the girls. They ask me
how big is Adam's peepee? I say it's it's boyfriend, Dick. It's
not too big, it's not too small. It's like a perfect girth.
I feel all of it. Yeah, and I love it. Yeah.
Yeah, if you buy a toy, like just a regular sized toy,
like in a in a sex shop, that's not like the mode. Yeah,
if it's just kind of like normal dildo, that's what Adams Peener have.
Standard You have a standard issue penis, yeah, standard is penis?
Yeah you do. Do you want to know what the average is because I
know it'll make you feel better. Average size penis USA because I feel like
it ranges. I feel it reaches right. Guidelines that most doctors follow when
helping someone decide if they need treatment, state that the average size for a
flaccid penis is eight point eight centimeters, while the average size for a flass
you know, it's hard to tell, that's three and a half inches three
and a half inches. It's hard because it's like, do you start behind
the ball? Is the base? Like it's a there's a whole South Park
episode about while while the average size for an erect penis is five point one
inches, and you're leaps above that, I don't know if that's true.
I don't know if I'm leaps above that. That's about five inches And you're
like, yeah, sure, you get a big pepe. Do you know
that there's a surgery to make people to make your penis bigger. Sure,
I'm sure, you just pull it out more. It's like a lie.
It's like ellipsic tube where there's like a fourth that's just hiding behind. No,
they add, I read all about women, ladies. You get it.
They add, it's like an implant in your penis. But apparently it's
like everyone who's gotten it has been like, this is the worst decision I've
ever made. Not the extended penis. It's crazy. Yeah yeah, yeah,
it's got, it's got, and it's got so bad. Like yeah,
some people are like I can't pee, like I had to get a
I had to get a castor because I couldn't be anymore like it was.
It was. It was just some crazy doctor like invented it and and was
giving it to people. Oh my god. Yeah, well that's fucking awful.
Yeah. Well there's all kinds of vaginal surgeries, but they're not fun.
They're just like rejuvenation and yeah, oh they do a lot of porn
stars do that. I've read. Yeah, they'll like get their their labya
shaved, yeah shaved. I wonder I want to ask a porn artiste if
that's a preference. I want to learn, like what the preferences are,
like what is what is beauty in the porn industry? Like this type of
what type of vulva is like the ideal I would imagine, like I would
imagine that's one that's like all tucked in. I don't think so. I
think it's opposite because I have one. I have one where my all tucked
in and I'm all labia mm hmm. But I feel like all the porn
I click on, I click on all the porn. I see all the
women like you see all of it, like immediately you you don't have to
part the two labs. C I have the I have, I have the
opposite experience. Interesting, Yeah, I feel like all the porn I see
it's all tucking. It's all tucking. Yeah, So you're saying I have
a chance, Adam, was there anything you'd like to add? No?
I think that's it all right. Well until next time, guys, you
all been great. See you tip your waitress. Don't forget to rate us
on Spotify and apples app on the apples and oranges. Don't range us on
the apples and the oranges. See hornes If you enjoy today's episode of Balled
Up Bitches, be sure to rate and subscribe wherever you listen to your podcast
To join in on more of our conversations and fun. You can follow us
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