Welcome to softcore history. Welcome back to softcore history. All right, here's
the first drink. Let's go for those who don't know power, why don't
you tell them what's going on? All right, we hit a thousand reviews,
I can drink again. I promised the Power Hour for the episode.
We'll see how this goes. We already recorded the Patreon episode Patreon dot com
slash software History, two additional episodes every week, got a little looped up.
We are now promising Power Hour. Well, I try to do a
topic. We'll see how that goes. I'm already a little buzz. He's
a little buzz, but not enough. That's not enough. Yeah, we'll
have Joel bring over some more peanut butter whiskey, feeding me shots. I'm
also drinking Guinness. Yeah. It's also got a gun shaped bottle of tequila
next to them, which I think that's I think once we hit the thirty
minute mark, you're gonna need to blow your brains out with that. With
the tequila, I I want to blow my brains. And for any concerned
listeners, I will be sobersily driving Dan home tonight. Yeah, I have
a ride. So in another drink yep, bang bang. So we appreciate
your thousand reviews and Dan's gonna sacrifice his body for them. Yep. So
we have a thousand reviews. Keep leaving reviews if you want to please well
Dan drunkenly read them. We'll read them at the end. We'll start doing
Thanks Joel. Thanks. Oh here going little Why Joel, cheer out of
the way of the shot of that. No, No, you don't need
to. He was on my camera. That's fucking fine. Oh, it's
all good. Thanks Joel for keeping the keeping the spice flowing. Great.
I love that this worked out on your episode. It would have been so
stupid if you're just on the side lobby. It was fine that way because
people were like, I think we're like fifteen reviews away. I kind of
blew past it as soon as they knew was my episode. Yeah, we
got like thirty reviews. And someone said that they took their wife's phone because
they're a poor with Android. Yeah, and they were like, I had
to do it on on my girlfriend or wife's phone or whatever. I got
a few strays in the reviews you did. Yeah, we're gonna read all
the reviews about you. Yeah, I know yeah, some of them,
like General Patton talking about if you want to listen to our Patreon So we'll
do that. At the end of the episode, we'll read some of our
favorite reviews. But we're gonna try to get through this. Oh, I
got to take another drink. Gotta taking a drink once a minute as much
as you can, but real quick. Uh. Patreon dot com slash Softcore
History Extra Epics two extra episodes. You did, Yes, I wouldn't listening.
Am I not the drunk one here? Jesus? I'm always drinking one
here. Well, anyway, we're gonna talk about a topic today that kind
of goes with the theme of today's episode, the London beer flood of eighteen
fourteen. All right, yeah, I figures go fine, We're gonna fun
and flirty topic about I just imaginable dying from beer. I imagine the London
beer flood is like that Simpson's like gif of Wigham getting out of the car
when beer's exploding and raining down, just running towards like a brave firefighter,
except he just wants to get drunk. I also, it's a way more
fun flood than the molasses flood. The molasses flood is a nightmare. That
is the craziest, like grossest flood, which we've already covered, and it's
in Boston. Similar in topic. It's in Boston. Take another drink there
you go. I mean, dude, the molasses flood is just like because
it was hot too, wasn't it. Yeah? Yeah, you're just being
boiled alive in candy dark. You're caramelized. Yeah yeah, yeah. No.
So this was in London in eighteen fourteen, on October seventeenth, the
Horseshoe Brewery, which was founded in sixteen twenty three. It was one of
the city's top producers of Porter. Oh a nice porter. I don't like
port Porter. You like porter. I like a heavy beer. I like
a heavy like a light beer. I like beer. And I mean we
got party Dan right now, I got tank top, we got the hat.
Yeah, I actually get that. Merch at software history. So when
when did this happen? You said when? Eighteen fourteen? What month?
October? Okay, So for those who don't know or don't that might sound
like, oh what, this was a happy time in England. Really,
peace had come over Europe, Napoleon exiled to Elba drink. Okay, So
Napoleon's gone. He's not gone yet because he comes. Elbow's the one he
escapes from. Yeah, but he's there for the moment. They think everything's
cool, it's great, happy times. The war is over. Could you
imagine that if World War two ended and then like eight months later they're like,
Hitler's back. He's Mecca Hitler, my Godler's back, and he's better
than ever, he's even stronger. Yeah. Can you imagine we just like
exiled Hitler for whatever reason, like oh, just send them to like Cypress.
Right, it's like, well he just escapes and they're like, Okay,
well what happened? Like he got his army back? What hell?
Because you didn't kill him? Well. In eighteen ten, the brewery had
a twenty two foot high wooden fermentation tank installed on the premise. That's pretty
dope, actually, how big twenty two foot high? Twenty ft h I
think that's like a drink normal size the tank at like the ab Brewery twenty
two foot h yeah, yeah, but it's also wood wood in yeah,
well you know, it's eighteen fourteen. It's also it's also like probably really
good tasting because that ferment is gonna get real funky. The wood breathes so
like it's probably really good tasting. Porter. At around four point thirty pm,
the storehouse clerk, George Crick, inspected the tank and noticed that one
of the iron rings about seven hundred pounds, had fallen off the cask and
snapped. Huh, it was on the cask and then like just broke and
fell off. So a supporting piece of the barrel keeps the barrel being a
barrel in planks. Yeah, you know, this was a common occurrence.
It would happen, yeah, times a year, just just a barrel doing
barrel stuff. Maintenance man. Yeah, so business as usual, despite the
tank being full and pressure from the fermentation building inside. Cricks boss told him
no harm, no foul, and instructed him to write a letter to another
brewery employee request and it be fixed at a letter. Your date been too
long since you've drank? I know, well not really all right, drink
just chucked that drink, drink a lot of it. You don't even finish
it, but there you go. Sure, there you go. That's good
squeak. Yeah, it's not that. I drink last night too, and
I mean I'm you know, a couple of shots deep a couple of years.
But you're feeling yourself. I need you to feel horrible. No,
no, no, it needs to be you gotta build to it, you
know. Listenable for the first minutes. Yeah, get him in. Yeah
right, people, if I was like trash within the first five impossible of
impossible, I am buzzed. But no, just ride that for ride that
way for a little bit, twelve minutes. Yeah. Here's the thing though,
I'm also Irish, and even though I don't drink that much, right,
like, even typically when I don't drink, when I do drink,
I know, go ahead, well tell us about your drinking, but drink.
This is distracted and I have to pay attention to the clock every time
too. I got your baby. We can also produce. I have to
like make sure the cameras, Oh here it goes, here we go.
I am the fucking engine that makes the show rotten. Give him a couple
shots, and here he is. I wish damn it. I can't say
there's there's a piece of information that we have for accessing stuff that it's very
degrading to be and Rob oh yeah, yeah, that Dan made up.
I can't say what it's for. What it is, but when I log
in for Instagram, yeah, god damn it. Balance Yeah, I mean
you're not gonna figure it out, no, yeah, but it is accurate.
So about an hour later, though, the whole tank ruptured, releasing
the hot froment to al with such force that the pack wall the brewery collect
apps. Whoa, So this was like an explosion. Yeah, as ones,
they're like, bro, think about it because it's it's fermenting, so
there's added pressure like contas, right, yeah, right, this was thirty
five hundred barrels of brown. Now essentially it was such a huge vat.
Okay, so I don't know what that would equate to, uh yeah in
single beers, Like what is that? Like a million beers? That'd be
kind of sick of so many beers. Yeah, probably more than a million.
I just think people are going to get fucked up. That's I'm already
predicting that no one dies. It's a very happy event. I gotta imagine
that's not true. Also, yeah, you'd be very wrong. It's I
think no one dies. I'm standing by it. Prove me wrong. That's
a that's a temperance movement. Why, I guess if you're English, Yeah,
nobody died, all right, sweet, Yeah that means allry you know
exactly what that means. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, people
that don't really matter. That's my favorite thing about anything, which is like,
uh, people will be like drink yeah, there you go. People
will essentially be like it's wrong to kill people, and there's like a little
asterisk, and they'll be like, please refer to our list of who people
are, you know what I mean, like who who? See? Please
see who we consider people, especially the Brits all anyone like they're next door
neighbors. Man. There's nothing I think more currently than looking at social media
and then being like all I think is just like you want someone to die
everyone. You're not anti death. Everyone wants somebody. Yeah. He's not
happy with who's dying, which fair enough. Yeah, most of the people
that are dying probably shouldn't be. Yeah, fair enough. It's not just
you know, they only care about it was It's just if things changed,
no matter which side we're talking about, they'd be like, Okay, I'm
all right, I'm good. There's a certain level of death everyone's comfortable with,
which is kind of sad because I think it's how far removed for you
want to do with me. Yeah, sure we'll do. We're so sorry
if it's your first episode. Yeah no, this really isn't for you.
Go back, this is your first episode. Please just left eject and then
you'll appreciate this more. Yeah, you'll go go back to this later.
Yeah, this is this is for This is for the fans in the dance,
for all the dance dance and the fans stands. You know what I've
noticed, by the way, mans, So you were sitting to uh my
right in the Patreon episode that we recorded, and now I'm sitting to your
left. So I've been on both sides. I think that your right arm
is uh in better shape than your left arm. Wonder why? No,
I think your right arm is more tone than your left arm. It's not
the tattoo. I think you need to get a sleeve on the other arm.
Yeah no, I mean, but the black is more slimming and it
shows more contour in the arm. Black is just Yeah, I think I
think you just gotta looks like a milk sack on the other arm. You
need to black it up. You need to get some inkause I have handlines
on it too. I'm just telling you what I see. It's literally I
have a shirt tam. One arm is hot and the other arm is pretty.
Miss you're just in the tattoos. Hold up, drink Rob's Rob's a
inkchaser, man. Yeah, you never knew that about you. Just leave
Bunny. Yeah, sleep bunny. That's it. That's the one. That's
the pejorative we need for people that like people would bunny attash Shanny sleep bunny.
It works. So the force also blasted several more vats, adding their
contents to the flood. Oh so this vat took out other because I was
like, one vat, come on, no, Yeah, it's a huge
vat, but essentially an explosion releases all the uh you know, liquid from
that, and uh yeah, all the vats inside the rest of the brewery
were just like, yeah, we'll follow along. Yeah, dude, we've
been we've been playing this for a while. Yeah. Yeah, they were
conspirators. Certainly, it's the day the bats took it back. Cheers,
cheers. I'll go with I'm not going to power hour with you, but
I'll sip this beer. You can do it. I mean, you guys
are have me home, so yeah, don't do whatever you want I'm having
two beers throughout the whole night, so I'm trying to do as best of
a job i can to pay attention to the clock. And also the more
you talk about it, the sooner in the next drink come. I know.
I'm just saying. I mean, you're probably fine though, Like it's
dark out so the police won't be able to see you. The best time
to drive drunk is the blackest night. But it's also the time all the
construction on ninety. Yeah, so you have to go through all these like
get a weave in and out of all these Orange Bob's barrels by the way,
Yeah, oh god, the track has a fucking stranglehold on the barrel
community, the traffic pattern. But yeah, Bob's barricades, what's he up
to? Why can't anyone else make barricade? Because that shit's in Florida.
He got into the business and killed his competitor, Like literally, murder is
a mafia. That has to be true. It has to be, because
I don't I've never heard of anyone else's barricades. Yeah, there's not like
a gym's barricade. And if there is, Jim's dead here, Jim's dead.
Yeah, jim got a fucking bullet, Jimmy traffic cones. What a
great industry to get into, though, you gotta find your niche think about
the rest of the fucking country, Like, think of how many orange cones
and barrels there are. No one's asking questions about barrels, orange barrels,
cones. It's like that's the last thing anyone's gonna argue about on price.
It's like the car tells for washing went through the barricade. There's a lot.
There's way too many things with like home ownership and kids and stuff like
that that I'm like, you could tell me any number and I'll believe it.
Yeah, And if we make your competitor, I think we gotta get
into the barricade. I want to get sure brains blown out by barrels by
Bob barricade. This is from Bob the fucking hell Goa's dad from Hey,
Arnold, she moved he moved on to barricades. Yeah, dude, I
bet you the guy that runs at looks just like hell get Pattacki's dad for
sure. Yeah, j shot, Oh no, you have four more minutes
to make it clean. I really really want him to vomit in your car
or out the window. I'm gonna drive that car to the He's going to
the airport tomorrow, so he's gonna do is oyster. How's that your problem?
It's my problem, I know. But I'm considered. I'm a good
friend. I'm not a piece of ship. You're considering it now, But
you're gonna keep drinking. No matter how much I drink, I will still
be considered you. You'll be considered zero. I have zero to fucking gras
have I ever been bad to you? Know? I was about to say
I have zero concerned with Dan fucking up anything in my car. Dan is
a very respectful person, even when I'm hammered. Dan has been plenty of
ripping him with you. I like that, Joel? Joel does? Okay,
I knows my fucking about a ride or die? Your Your bathroom's in
here right? Well? You do have a bathroom there when you poop out
there? Yeah, Joel? How do you shower? Okay? What a
shower? You can't interview the guy off Mike, No, I get it,
but no, it's funnier. Actually he has a shower with the heater.
I forgot about that. You're stealing electricity, you're stealing water. I
respect the funk out of that. Whoa, it's on, let's go,
it's on. Let's get into this ship here, bro, let's talk about
our workplace, our working art now exactly. No, here's one thing.
Let me tell you about the fucking people at work. No, what accent
are you affecting? I don't know. Joel put me in the shot.
No, don't do that. Oh, he's definitely not gonna throw up at
my car. I'm not gonna throw up in his car because I can fucking
handle that. This is when the instant cut happens, right, and it's
like eleven o'clock and I'm Jesus. The only concern I have is that I
follow the goddamn outline I have. Okay, these are in manageable lines,
so too, they are no big chunks. I wrote this in like a
very beats manageable way. Yeah, because sometimes I look over there, I'm
like, that's a big paragraph. But this is is bullet pointed. I
like this. That's sober damn base. Yeah. Yeah, I like that.
You look over his shoulder to make sure it's like contents format and for
him, so blast opens up several more vats. More than three hundred and
twenty thousand gallons of beer are released in a wave that is fifteen feet tall.
A fifteen foot tall wave of a little fifteen foot title wave of three
hundred and twenty thousand gallons of beer. I mean you get pitted in a
way that big buddy sound good? Would you serve a beer wave? I
mean look at me right now. Yeah, you don't surf. I've served,
have you. I'm pretty good serving pretty good? Or I'm pretty good.
Dog. I tell you, tell you about the time I'm served in
Jersey, I've served in Florida, I served in fucking Hawaii. Those are
those are all the spots. Yeah, did I tell you about the time
I went to Hawaii for my honeymoon and I asked the people for a surfboard
and they just look at me and go, no, they really yeah for
real? Yeah, just fucking Paul Rudd was like, you're doing too much.
No. It was just it was at the resort, like I had
like this great like the waves are really good that day. I was like,
yeah, I just want to try surfing, and they were like like
there's no one to teach me or doing and they were just like, no,
what do you mean. No, I don't understand if you like understand
what a resort is, yes, sir, but even like a here to
what I say. Yeah, they gave me a boogie board and they're like,
you can't fucking demo. Dude, God there you can have fun.
Child. By the way that those waves like flipped me head over heels,
like you know how like something you know, like, yeah, you're not
the boogiey board. Yeah, I wanted to do it a little bit.
Those well I did. It was fun. But those waves like you know
when in football when when a guy tries to jump someone and he gets hit
but he gets caught and just like that dog waves fucked me up. Yeah,
dude, Pacific, my body surfed in white. I just liked that.
This woman, this little woman like looked at me at the little hut
at the resort we were at for a honeymoon, and she was just like
no. I actually wrote an entire column in TFM about like just the most
like awful thing you can do is the body surfer wave. You just raw
dog like, no board nothing, You just gotta go for it. You
just kind of let it carry you. Awesome. You just yeah, you
just ride the wave with your body. I mean, we've also documented.
I used to, especially in college at UCF and we go to Cocoa Beach,
Oh, get fucked up like I am now, and we would go
out. I would swim out like a mile, yeah, past the pier.
I'm so we're still landlocked right now. If I get sucked up,
I want to swim. I want to I can. That is I used
to go out like a mile and a half. That's that's honestly more dangerous
than me. Like, man, when I get drunk, I just want
to juggle knives. I know. It's like every story, every like every
fraternity like I f C or like Nationals. Thing was like. And then
our brother Jimmy swam to the island. He said, just wanted to swim
out there and weird to drunk. Quinn Williams, here, we get fucked
up, We go out as far as we could. We were just like,
yeah, just enjoy the fucking water. Quinn Williams. Never tell you
about the drunk driving speaker we had in college. It was like this fraternity
guy who went on the spring break in the nineties and he was like first
off. I'm one hundred percent positive of that. He was raped in jail.
Spoiler alert, he went to jail. Uh, but we'll get to
that anyway. He saw a man trying to hang himself in jail. I
did, Yeah, that wasn't sweet. I mean, it's a good story.
He's probably dead. Uh he didn't though, dude, I but he
turned it around. You think so, dude. That man's name is Steve
Balmer. No, that guy's name is Bob Barricade. He's like, you
know what, I'm gonna stop living in these and started selling them. Okay,
I need to drink more for these podcasts. It's more fun. But
fucking oh. This guy was like he went to jail. So they were
on spring break and he was like, you got real drunk. We all
did. He cried through his speech. And by the way, I have
not paid attention to you need to start, he was like. He was
like, I told him I'll finished here. He's like, and they we
like drew short straws and and I had to short straw like he like somehow,
like he got decided, he got picked to drive. He was and
next thing he knows like he gets in a horrible accident and like half the
car dies and he's like I woke up. They wouldn't even once it live,
wouldn't even talk to me. And I was like, what the fuck
do they made you drive? Yeah, like they told you to drive and
he and he was like it was all by fault, Like I mean it's
a little revault, sure, but it's everyone's fault. Everyone, Like I
know the shot and then make up for it. I missed like right right
there. And then also he was like in jail still, jail was bad.
I was just like, oh boy, dude, oh shit, like
they took he went to fucking jail in Florida. Oh I tell you what,
those aren't the ones you want to go to. Like, really,
Florida jail is not cool if you're gonna kill seven of your friends on spring
break, dude, Vermone. No, there is like one jail in particular
in Florida that gets featured in like every like bad jail story that dateline sixty
minutes, John Oliver there all it's all the same jail. Like it's so
bad, Jake, shut the fuck up, Okay, I'm just trying to
cover for you. Talk we are twenty four minutes in. I told him,
you can make it. It's twenty You told me to get fucked up,
so I'm gonna get fucked Yeah, that's he's fulfilling required that guy.
I was just like, you deserve to have guilt, but your friends are
assholes. Yeah, everyone that they were like they never forgave me, like
they were part of it. They were part of it. And also like
none of them were wearing their seat belts. He was like I think he
was like the said, every world lived there where the people fuck Joe in
order to make up for power. Give me another shot. No, no,
no, no, give me another show. Keep talking though, I'm
done with my story. That's fine, No, it was a great story.
Tell me about tell us about the beer. So, the area in
which this brewery was at was called Saint Giles Rookery. Ah, you're familiar
with rookeries. That's where the rooks live. Uh. So it's the factory
where they make rooks for chess pieces. Yeah, you know, we have
the name. It's pretty obvious. Well, it's a densely populated London slum
of cheap housing and tenements inhabited by the poor, destitute, prostitutes, in
criminals, aka the Irish. Yeah, yeah, it's where the Irish live.
Oh. I do like to just imagine like a hell and slaggerman just
looking up at a fifteen foot wall of beer and just being like, well,
oh, no, dish, what's gonna have me? We's gonna go
with some boy. Oh you'll go somewhere, don't he? This this our
fishot of the night something ten minutes dude, we're doing it. Yeah,
we're doing it. I'm all right, let me do a shot out the
fucking peanut. But was driving him, Yeah, sober buzzed a little drunk
and just blacked just I can't no, no, he has to drive home.
So he lives. He thinks he lives close. He lives like thirty
minutes away. I don't think I live close based on my rage every day.
It's like two turns. But it's one of those fuck can you live
in like Fredericksburg? He doesn't live in Fredericksburg. That's kind that's so far
Hson, Tennessee. Yeah, actually, yeah, oh play wagon, Mael.
This episode. Let's go. Your neighborhood sucks, dog. You have
a fucking like gully in your front yard. You have a goddamn two unit.
They didn't tell us about that when we bought the lot. Believe it
or not, showed up one day when the house was being built and I
was like, what the what's this little guy? Yeah, and they were
like, oh, that's a sh an open sewer for your yard. I
was like oh. And I turned to Courtney, because she picked a lot
out. I was like, did you know this? And then she lied
and said no, she knew. I know, but I she'd know,
but I like to just assume she was. Yeah, He's like, I
just need a house. Yeah, give me one house. You need to
lock this man. So the area of Saint Giles took its name sake from
the chapel in hospital that was built in the twelfth century by Queen Matilda,
who founded the built in for sufferers of leprosy. That's the magic queen,
right, Queen Matilda. Yeah, she had psychic powers. By the way,
I just want to Saint Giles looked him up because I love knowing what
your patrons. Don't fucking step all over. Oh you know, you got
it? Okay, okay. He's the patron Sate of lepers, but also
considered the patron Saint of outcast hobo's and cripples. Do you think the saints?
He's the patron saying of just poor people. The little I'm reading it,
he is the patron saint of I told you hobo, poor people,
breast cancer, breastfeeding didn't find breast cancer. Yeah, breast cancer and breastfeeding
cancer patients in general. Uh, this is really broad. But disabled people,
whoa This guy's covering a lot of I just told you cripples. Okay.
Uh, he's the patron saint of people who are afraid of the dark.
What are you do they get a saint? I am not octophobic.
Are are you afraid of the dark? No? I love the show though.
And then he's also the patron saying of horses. Oh man, shit,
how is there not a Saint Giles in Okalla? Right? And he's
the patron saint of sterility. He's the patron saying of like like like Dan
said, He's the patron saying of hoboes, patron saying of breast cancer,
patron saint of breastfeeding, patron saying of all disabled people, patron saying of
if you're afraid of the dark, patron saying of forests, patron saint of
horses, leopards, just pulling the shit out of hats. Bro poor people.
It's literally just as poor people on this by the way. And then
if you can't, if your sperm don't work, start spacing the shots out.
Well, I need a shot. You can't take ten shots in an
hour and you are at you are literally halfway there. Oh yeah, I
bet, I bet, dude, I fucking There's always been connections of unclean
cleanliness and ill health with Saint Giles, and it was widely thought that the
first victim of the Great Plague lived in the parish. Okay, so this
is this is going back hundreds of year. That's some institutionalized bullshit. They're
like, oh, they started the plague. They're like, yeah, it
started there. Yeah, the way of a porter rushed through the narrow lanes
and swept away everything in its path. Oh what do they think this one?
What? There's the right one. The flood reached George Street in New
Street in minutes, and with no drainage on the city streets, it flooded
the basements of tenement houses and caused them to collapse. Whoa, this is
why what do you what do they call? Uh? How do they fucking
dress up shitty basement apartments garden level or something like that. I think they
call it garden level or something like in New York where you go downstairs.
Ye. Yeah, yeah, they call it garden level apartments, not sidewalk
view. Yeah. So if you everyone in their garden level apartments just drowns
where they are in fucking porter, which at the very least unlike water.
Do you think you drunkenly pass out before you even died, like you just
be like knocked out from it. I don't think it goes that fast.
No, probably not. I don't think it goes that fast like this,
got the guy. You have to match me, go go. All you
have to do is pass out and you goddamn trailer. So, dude,
the stink you just put that in Q from a Woterman. No, I
fucking appreciate Joel. I love Joel. You gave me a half shot,
though, Doug, that's a full shot. That classes are bigger than normal.
Yeah, the shot classes, what are you doing? Don't do that?
Well? Listen, I promise the people will power hour. We're gonna
give him so much more. I have to deliver. This is my goddamn
promise, Jake, did you do twenty one shots on your twenty first birthday?
I did a lot of shots on my twenty first birthday. I did
well, Like we did not do twenty one shots. Did a lot of
shots. I don't know how many. But what I'm saying is, what
I'm saying is I did my twenty one shots on accident in about two and
a half hours. Fucking we're trying to do this in an hour. But
what I'm saying, he is on pace for what I did on my twenty
first birthday, which was did not end well. No, mine didn't either,
dude, I plan on this not ending well. Right, Oh,
let's go. This is anyway. A thousand reviews, Thank you, we
love you, We love you, guys. Half a bottle of peanut butter
whiskey. We're at like, I don't know's it's been thirty three minutes.
Yeah, you've had like for five beers, like half a bottle whiskey.
You know this is gonna get to uh fucking breathalyzer race levels of It's there,
dude, we should do that though. All right, So a thousand,
all right, a thousand reviews. I'm not a thousand patrons. We
did a thousand reviews, Yeah, a thousand patrons. I will get a
tattoo of Topsy the Elephant all my body within this year. You have to
we have to get it within this year, Topsy specifically being electrocuted. Yes,
yeah, the design I'll get No, No, it'll be probably.
I think you should get the actual as close to the photo as possible.
I will. Oh yeah, I'll probably get marked out two artist us on
my entire sleeve. Maybe inside I'll probably go Topsy getting electricuted a little bit
more realistic on my arm. If we get to a thousand reviews or patrons
within the year, but also if we get to a fucking too, if
we get to two thousand reviews within this year, we're doing the breathalyzer race.
Okay in this year? Yeah? Sure? Do you want me flying?
Yes? Okay, you're not off the hook? Oyster farmer? Yeah,
I'm sorry. Alright, So if you don't know, Jay's maybe gonna
be an oyster farmer. We'll see what was the hell of this week ago?
Jake might leave us to go shucking, which is not a Jewish Jewish
pejorative I'm using right now. No, it doesn't even sound like one realist.
But bye, okay, it's an m away. I mean my eventual
goal is moved to Florida. So I'm gonna Jake will be involved. He's
gonna follow a boy. I hellove Florida, Rob. We have we have
to convince move to Florida, dude, Okay, come to the Sunshine State,
the Gunshine State. There's no state that is. I mean, we
get to five thousand reviews and five thousand and patrons, then yeah, whatever
you want Florida. Yeah, if you if you get us the five thousand
patrons from this request, we'll do whatever the fun you want. Yeah,
we'll just do nasty ship for you. Yeah. Yeah, I'll fucking jerk
off on camera. You don't need us to do that. Do we have
to be in only dance dot com? I'm buying that. I'm buying that
you are in theory upload a normal podcast to only fans. Oh, misshion
a copy. You told me you get fed up? Yeah, I know,
I love it. What happened with the beer Man. Nobody cares about
the Nobody cares about the shoes. I feel like, do you remember in
Scottsdale when it was just me and Uh dude, Yeah, I heard an
episode about Roswell that did knocko. I got fucked up. We've got highest
ship. It's just ripped. It's on Patroon by the way. Yeah,
that's a Patreon episode. This is for the fans. Who's our sponsor?
This week gonna be like this one? Don't count? No, this is
better. Fuck. I have no idea where I am in this fucking no
ship. Bro. It's okay, No, it's fine, Storry here we
go, start over, just go from the top, all right. So
I think we're here, right. So the flood reach those streets, Residents
scaled tables and furniture to try and save themselves from drowning or being swept away.
In one of the houses, Mary Banfield and her four year old daughter,
Oh manna, I'm so glad this is taking place in England right now.
See the names aren't quite the hurdle today. I know. It's not
fucking China. Yeah you should. Thank god you're not doing a beer flood
there. Yeah. And uh, they just sat down for tea when the
flood hit. Both were unfortunately killed. All right, Yeah, it doesn't
sound like you live through that for Tea. You great commercial for Porter,
though it just also hungry. An Irish wake was being held for a two
year old boy who had died the previous day. Now, I think I
solve the mystery of how this really happened, and I'm gonna go. I'm
gonna go to my old well here irishmen had just gotten back from India bought
a monkey paw from a street vendor. Classic always happens. Said, there's
not enough beer in the world for me to and for me to be able
to tolerate this way, with this old with this little old boy there.
Oh, I don't know how much beer I'd need, but I need as
much beer as you can give me, Lord, to suffer through this.
And then you'd have to fill the streets with beer. Monkey paw. Yeah,
curl easy. The mother and Seville and four mourners were killed. Yeah.
Oh, I mean the mom was kind of probably fine with it to
be. That's not a funeral. Yeah, you have a two year old
die. Yeah, although back then we'll finish this case. By the end
of the episode, I should no, the thirst has overtaking them. He
belongs to them. I feel what other children died. Yeah, it's all
us more thankfully. It's eighteen hundreds, so like, who gives a fuck
about everyone's dead? You don't even know. Yeah, there's no point,
there's no there's no child that can be like, oh oh no, it
isn't that horrible Like in the eighteen hundreds. It's got a Tony Ann Sullivan
and her fucking four mourners. Dad, thank you, Joe. This is
fully gone off the rails at this point. Everybody is good. God.
I could have done this in post probably, but I really can't do this.
No, you have to end it, end it, and it ended
no seriously, and the song. If you're a first time listener and you're
still here, I nen' it's never I can't stress enough it jet just go
listen to a real episode. This is this is for him, this is
no, it's not for me, just for everyone. This is a deep
cut. Yeah, this for everybody that's like a fucking hardcore the podcast.
Either way. I mean, the fan fans are gonna love them. Oh
yeah, that's gonna be their favorite episode. Interview. I was like,
man, I've been like, go heiring enough, you want wrestle. I
swear to god. I didn't want to say anything because I should have written
it down. I didn't want to say anything because I knew this was gonna
happen. But in my head earlier today, I was like, I should
think about what to wear in case Dan tries to wrestle. Dude, there
was a reason I'm wearing shorts and like, yeah, Like I was like,
I shan't say he's gonna throw that out there. I'm like, I'm
we're in athletic sneakers. Just like like I told you in the pitch On
episode where Jared was trying to make me find everyone when he was drunk.
I'm a beastful man. You're like, uh, I mean I could end
you. I could fuck you up. You like those fucking could end your
life? Lord? You like those memes where it's like I studied the way
of the Blade, but I don't want to use it or what I'm not
fucking the ear Prahashka now registered weapons. Yeah, the Karate kids, Yeah,
anyway, other children. The results in Tunnle Wave also took out the
wall of Tavastock Arms pub, trapping and instantly killing teenager servant Eleanor Cooper,
who had been washing pots and outdoor water pump behind the wall. So it
killed like the servant girl who barely had a job. She was like,
they killed a slave. Yeah, I mean she was just like, well,
there be no prostituting for me. I've forgot a nice little good laughe.
I want to work, honest, get to America. Nope, wall
of beer. That's done. Flattened, flattened in all. Eight women and
children perish in the disaster. That's definitely the funniest part. Eight women and
children. Yeah, I mean there was a smile on your face the whole
time you said that. You were giggling. It's just just like a four
year old girl like Mommy, what's happening? And the mom doesn't know.
However, survived well, yeah, although severely we're badly injured. I'll take
another shot. What is this? I don't want this, Jake to okay,
I just can't do cheese. Oh you can't? Yeah? Yeah,
you don't want to put any poison in your body? No, no,
no, I don't want them eating cheese after drinking all this ship and getting
in my car. Are you fucking kidding? I'm not gonna throw up in
your car. It's fine. I feel fine. He's not that No.
I can't even let you feel drunk. Well, I feel like I'm sorry
for the people that came here for the bower. I wish I could drink
every minute, but it would also Yeah, you really let them down,
just really in the episode. You really let the people down that wanted to
hear you drunk. I feel like I've done like how many shouts that much
on this We've going about five or six Joel in a thirty five minute span.
Give me the shot, Joel, I swear to god, Joel's in
the bathroom. I take it down, take it dump. I might need
to pee at some point, if you need to do that, I'm fine,
we're on the mic. I know you are. Go pee. No,
we're gonna try to make it through it. I think they're here for
the train wreck. Yeah, yeah, they might be here for the train
wreck at this point. Again, if this, if you're a first time
listener, run away from this episode. I'm very drunk. Yeah nothing,
yeah, no, ship, bro, you just house like six shots in
forty minutes. We're about to do us. Sound a shot? You know
what? You had a fucking gun full of tequila right there, and you're
whining for don't don't, make a mix. It's not good though. This
is bad tequila. I hate where that bottle is right now, I hate
it. Sorry, oh my god. I honestly, at this point I
would rather him take the shot than hear him scream for the shot. So
I think I need to be fucked up by the end of this episode,
absolutely completely fuck up. You were there the drunkest. The only time you
knew the drunk. The only time I've ever seen you drunker is when I
had to stop your first night in Austin. I had to stop the bouncers
from Blind Pig from literally for literally throwing you out. First off, it
is the third night. I had to be like, Dan, they're about
to throw you out. I'm gonna walk you out. They want to,
they want to physically escort you out. No, that was my third night
in Nausen. I was twenty three and I was asking for it. I
don't have a bouncer in my car, man, So like, there's a
shot, Joel, take it to the shot. That's your fucking fault,
asshole. I'm bringing you deserve every fucking shot your cake, motherfucker. Yeah,
dude, suck my dickco Actually, yeah, you're right. Unsucked my
dick. Thank you, Joel, thank you for giving me a taco.
Give you taco. Give you like a piece of case, the entire taco.
I just ate next to you like a fucking Gordiina crunch. I got
it was the Nacho Supreme, or it was the Dorito loco taco. That's
pretty good. Yeah, I was get this man some cheese. I don't
want cheese. I'm fucking last thousand tolerant in all, eight women and children,
Paris and disaster. All inside the brewery survived, although several were badly
injured. Three workers were rescued from the waist high liquid. Another was litter
pooled from the little rubble. Okay, all this free beer led two hundreds
of people scooping up the liquid in whatever continuers they could. Absolutely hell yeah,
Also, I mean what I mean, the dead person in it.
They're not't been dead long enough to like fester, Yeah yeah, to like
contaminate. Yeah No, they're they're fresh man. They're good for a minute.
So it resorted to the these people just drinking there and then there wasn't.
Unconfirmed reports though, however, of a ninth death from let me guess,
drinking too much some days later from an alcohol poisoned man. What an
episode I have. I feel like I have to die now. You can
keep sipping beer, but you are cut off from shots. Yeah, I
don't care if you sip beer. Bro, don't take any more fucking shots.
You've taken too many. Like that's a lot of fucking shit's actually too
many shots. You are glowing, you are so drunk. I think we
might come with shiny. I think this might be it is shiny is shiny?
Okay, don't sleep on your back tonight. Yeah. Actually, I'm
like, I feel like I take you to get coffee. After this coffee,
get him? Get him a fucking uh you no, like a you
don't give a smart water or whatever. Okay, that's that's a bit here
here, drink drink, drink some water while joelhan to you this shot?
What happened to the people? I don't know? Dog? All right?
Fine? Like this, I have no idea where I am. I have
to find where. I have to figure out where I The titlest episode is
We're so sorry and thank you and thank you or thank you and we're sorry.
No, this is a good episode. I'm so sorry for you to
edit it. I mean I have to episode this or like edit this regardless.
Yeah, he's gonna give. Do you actually have to edit it right
after this? I know? Actually you can't do ship. Joe. Just
feed me the shot. No, this is my last shot. I will
do this right now, last last. No, I'll here for one more.
No. I will always yell for one more. But okay, last
one. Check one check God, here we go, I mean, there
we go. He's been He's a father, I'm a father. Rip it.
I god that I fell out. There was ever a day to subscribe
to our YouTube YouTube dot com slash software history. They just searched way more
of a visual episode. Guys. Yeah, they they They deserve it.
I'm just trying to steal everyone know. They goddamn shot, don't Joe.
I have to give like it's been a it's been thirty so it's fine.
I just want one more shot. Oh my god, he dropped it.
Yeah, just give me another shot, Give me another shot. I will
explain the rest of this fucking flood and the fourteen. If I find out
you died tomorrow, I'm gonna feel really negligent. Honestly, it's I'm honestly
not my fault and it's not your fault. Rob. If if I die,
I didn't hear it's not your fault, Jake, Jake. If I'm
having a future into this playing in court as my lawyers like, as you
can clearly see, can I the victim, the victims, the folk of
claims that it is not my client's fault. I'm telling you right now,
funk off, Rob, as your parents are just crying, and the fucke
they also he's he's an adult man. Can I give you my fucking permission
right now? No? I mean literally, I don't think legally you can
consent to anything right now. I can because literally hear me, wait let
him cook. No, no, Rob, literally, I have life insurance
and it's all going to you and your fucking family. Oh thank you,
he is. Yes, that's some. It's in fucking recording. Yeah,
give me a shot. Yes, yes, I do. This show would
pay for my kids college one way or another. Rob's gonna start being like,
hey, we got some kerosene out back. You want that, you
want stiff fas ship, you don't have some gas, bro, Alright,
So I told Joel I want to do the episode like this earlier I'm doing
it like this. Fuck it. Yeah, that's where we're at. Now,
drive me home. No, no, Joel, you do too much
already. Oh no, fucking Jake to go Jakes the airport at five thirty.
And by that I mean fucking Jake has to go to the fucking airport
at three thirty. All right, So who is uh what else we have
left here? I think we're at the about at the end of the story.
I think so. I hope so, uh, because I have like
better page left here? We are? So the beer flood, eight women
and children parish in a disaster. All inside the brewery survive, although several
were badly injured. Three workers were rescued from the waste high liquid, and
another later put a life from rubble. I have a question about that,
about the what you just said, don't don't do this, don't do this.
Do you remember saying it ten minutes ago? You definitely did this because
you already read that. You've read eight women and children perish like four times.
Fucking rehash. Okay, it's a recap, got it, it's a
rehash because we were fucking like not on scheduled. Okay, Well, yeah,
there's I don't think there's a schedule. There's no trains coming man.
All in all, there was about nine victims, right yeah, because the
died of what ails? You you thought alcohol poison How'd you know? Because
you the Knights, we died about goal poisoning. Days later, Watchman Ditch
charged people a penny or two to see the ruins of the vats, and
the visitors came in their hundreds to witness the spectacle. A stream of hunters
pay their respect and donated pennies and chillings to pay for their victims funerals.
The Brewers eventually taken to the court over the accident. Disaster was ruled to
be acts of God. What I believe that they ruled it, But I
believe it is an act of God. Wasn't the thing? Wasn't it was
the metal? Not look at me, yep, taking another show. He's
gone from scream to whisper, back and forth so many times, and it's
like, I know exactly how drunk that is. I know I've drunk that.
I'm so excited to see you tomorrow. God, I have I do
so much for this fucking studio. You do nothing. Rob the fact that
you make as much money as you do is insane. You owe me,
you you owe me, but I did put you as the beneficiary on my
life. In sure, it's follow but you owe me. I'm gonna give
it to him, for sure. But like if I fucking die, Yeah,
you needna have my fucking money. That said. In the meantime.
In the meantime, dog, you don't do that much. Oh my god,
you owe me everything. But I mean, like, what else is
left in the story. Yeah, not the eight women and children, not
the people A page left, There's not I could see that. There's none
of the page was like the last paragraph. Man, let me what else
is going on? Because right now I just want to know. I gotta
like go home too at some point, Well, you have to give me
a fucking ride. I know, I know you're gonna go to your fucking
oyster far in work. I can't even stress enough. Like he was pretty
sober when this episode started, stone cold, like I was cold. I
was pretty fucking like buzzed bright. Now I'm fucked up. Yeah, I
can admit I am fucked up right now. You don't have to not admit.
I'm a man, I'm forty, and I'm I'm thirty three in May.
But yeah, yeah, yeah, well in the show with the shot
and also just get us and also no, it's done. The brewery was
eventually taking the court. Yep, we know. Yeah a god acting god
acting god. Yeah, disasters ruled act of God. How do we know?
How'd you know? Dug finished the show? Dude? So so sorry
if you're still here and the first time listener, but I'm not even sorry
at this point anymore. You are, you're a soldier. It's an hour.
You record the ads tomorrow. Yes, we're doing out. We're doing
fucking ads right now. We can't. We haven't finished the show yet,
So Rob, what's the show? Sponsored by Factor Meals? Is that the
only sponsor? I don't know? And ghost tell him about ghost bed you
sleep on a tell them about every day every day? Actually, yeah,
do a ghost read? I like that. That's good. Do a goot
spad read right now, it's fucking fantastic. What the fuck do you want?
Ghost Bed? What's the what's the u r L? Yeah? You
gotta give him a copy? Yeah, come on, give me some copy,
baby, I don't know, give all right, ghost bed dot com
for drinking brocastic though I don't go spend. I said on every night,
I SI on the pillows. It's fucking the best cooling technology, the best
helping you out. Yeah, every day? Like, what else do you
want? He houlds me down. It's fucking five degrees every day, drinking,
bro, he is gonna pass out, slash maybe die on one tonight.
You better put a chance on. You, better put a chance.
I want you to put a chance on tonight. Fuck you up. Yes,
we're a backpack. When he goes to sleep, I have a backpack
so he can't roll on his back. I'm eternal. Yeah, yeah,
either way, go Speathers dot com for slash drinking burrows. What else we
got I don't know, but that's the only advertiser I'm willing to infuriate.
We have gotten it in first form or what? No, shut up,
don't say any other company name. Yeah, I actually don't know. I
haven't looked real quick. Before we get back into uh this, uh,
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Yeah, first form, I love you, I love you definitely not on
turning into Trump. I love you. I love you. It's beautiful,
beautiful, perfect, it's the best as beautiful ad. That's it. That's
it. We're done with the I think that is the end of the episode.
Like there's no other information you have. I'm like through paragraph you don't
know. You never get to them and read it. No, Like what
happened on the last paragraph. You were on the last paragraph? Who's today
is hitler? Jake? My votes for Joel? Actually, my votes for
you, dude. You're a hitler today. Man, it's you. It's
you. It's here, you bitch, Okay, yeah, you know you're
right. Yeah, it's me. I can tell you what I learned today.
Nothing. Nothing that our listeners are saints if they come back, get
the goldie, like end the episode. Oh honestly, just go on brand
and do it. Suck my dick, Jake, you just got saw soo