WEBVTT 1 00:00:14.119 --> 00:00:22.399 Not sorry. What's up, Positive Bitches? How are we doing today? 2 00:00:22.519 --> 00:00:27.000 If you're hearing this episode, you are meant to be here, So keep 3 00:00:27.280 --> 00:00:32.920 listening on that Bitches Positive podcast. Sometimes we will laugh. Other times, 4 00:00:32.960 --> 00:00:36.719 baby Girl, we're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling like 5 00:00:36.759 --> 00:00:43.359 our most empowered positive bitch self. That is positive babe and total connection with 6 00:00:43.719 --> 00:00:48.320 her self. We're all about unbecoming who we are not so we can fully 7 00:00:48.359 --> 00:00:53.960 step into and embody exactly who we came here to be. Today's podcast episode 8 00:00:54.000 --> 00:00:59.079 actually comes from one of you Positive bitches, and it's all about jealousy. 9 00:00:59.320 --> 00:01:04.519 A quick note on jealousy versus envy. Envy is when we want what someone 10 00:01:04.599 --> 00:01:08.920 else has. When I'm envious of someone else, it's because I want either 11 00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:12.319 their car, or their house or spouse, or maybe even their body. 12 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:19.439 Envy is when we want something we don't already have versus jealousy. What jealousy 13 00:01:19.519 --> 00:01:25.760 actually means is we feel threatened that someone else wants what we have. It's 14 00:01:25.840 --> 00:01:30.040 the other side of the coin of envy. So when I'm feeling jealous, 15 00:01:30.120 --> 00:01:33.879 it might be because I already have a boyfriend, but I feel like he's 16 00:01:33.879 --> 00:01:38.439 flirting with someone else or someone's trying to flirt with him. Today, we're 17 00:01:38.480 --> 00:01:44.159 really going to focus on jealousy when we are nervous or worried or afraid someone's 18 00:01:44.159 --> 00:01:48.640 going to try to take from us something that we already have. If you 19 00:01:48.719 --> 00:01:53.640 want to learn more about envy and jealousy and how to transmute these emotions. 20 00:01:53.879 --> 00:01:57.040 Like I said, we're going to talk about jealousy today, but we've also 21 00:01:57.079 --> 00:02:00.519 done an episode on envy and jealousy that I will link down in the show 22 00:02:00.560 --> 00:02:04.239 notes, So maybe after this episode you can listen to that one to get 23 00:02:04.280 --> 00:02:08.360 some more information on env before we get into it today. A couple of 24 00:02:08.400 --> 00:02:14.919 announcements if you're not yet following me on Instagram at vibe in with cc v 25 00:02:15.120 --> 00:02:19.240 I b I n with ci Ci. I will put this link down on 26 00:02:19.280 --> 00:02:22.280 the show notes, but be sure to follow me there where you can get 27 00:02:22.400 --> 00:02:28.840 daily golden sparkling nuggets of advice on how to release codependency, become your most 28 00:02:28.840 --> 00:02:34.520 magnetic self, and so much more. I've recently have been talking to all 29 00:02:34.639 --> 00:02:38.560 of the girlies in the twenty one day break Up glow Up Challenge, and 30 00:02:38.599 --> 00:02:45.400 the feedback is just so transformative it makes me cry almost every time I read 31 00:02:45.439 --> 00:02:49.759 a comment from the twenty one day Breakup Globe Challenge. If you're going through 32 00:02:50.159 --> 00:02:54.280 any sort of transition or heartbreak, or you're just not being able to hold 33 00:02:54.319 --> 00:02:59.719 onto these situation chips, join the twenty one day Breakup Globe Challenge. I 34 00:02:59.759 --> 00:03:02.000 create did this not for me, but for you. If you want to 35 00:03:02.080 --> 00:03:06.319 learn how to balance your sacred chakra, if you want to learn how to 36 00:03:06.319 --> 00:03:08.360 take your power back, if you want to learn how to date yourself and 37 00:03:08.479 --> 00:03:14.520 fully develop and glow up the twenty one day break Up Glob Challenges for you. 38 00:03:14.919 --> 00:03:19.520 There's twenty one days of video and audio lessons, downloadable worksheets, meditations, 39 00:03:19.800 --> 00:03:23.520 and even a private Facebook group chat where you can go for support. 40 00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:27.360 And I've been reading all the messages in there as well, and they're just 41 00:03:27.479 --> 00:03:32.240 so beautiful because in that chat there's positive bitches helping one another out. So 42 00:03:32.360 --> 00:03:37.759 if you're going through any sort of breakup transition, join the twenty one day 43 00:03:37.800 --> 00:03:40.879 break Up glob Challenge. I will be your built in breakup BFF and help 44 00:03:40.919 --> 00:03:45.439 you through the process. I've been there before, and I know how to 45 00:03:45.479 --> 00:03:49.560 get out. If you're dating and you keep getting ghosted or all of your 46 00:03:49.599 --> 00:03:53.039 relationships just end up going nowhere. Then the Calling your Power Back Workbook is 47 00:03:53.080 --> 00:03:58.240 going to be very, very very beneficial for you. This Calling your Power 48 00:03:58.280 --> 00:04:01.639 Back Workbook, it's just eleven dollars. It's a digital download, and it 49 00:04:01.680 --> 00:04:08.800 will help you understand the subtle energies behind dating and why your results keep ending 50 00:04:08.879 --> 00:04:12.919 up with ghosting. Also, if you want to learn how to balance your 51 00:04:13.479 --> 00:04:18.720 masculine and your feminine energy, you want to really develop your dark divine feminine. 52 00:04:18.759 --> 00:04:23.759 I also have a Healing your Divine Feminine workbook as well. Again, 53 00:04:23.879 --> 00:04:28.920 all of these links will be in my description in the show notes down below. 54 00:04:29.560 --> 00:04:34.279 Without further ado, let's get into today's episode. Sidebar, this has 55 00:04:34.360 --> 00:04:38.279 nothing to do with today's episode, but I just think this is so fucking 56 00:04:38.319 --> 00:04:42.839 funny that this happened. So the other day I was feeling so bloated, 57 00:04:43.360 --> 00:04:46.319 and it's because of what I ate for dinner. It was, I guess, 58 00:04:46.879 --> 00:04:50.120 just a bigger meal and I had bubbles, I had kombucha, So 59 00:04:50.240 --> 00:04:54.000 my stomach was bloated because yeah, I just put food in it, and 60 00:04:54.079 --> 00:04:58.199 that's what fucking happens. And I literally was looking at her house when I 61 00:04:58.240 --> 00:05:00.639 was like, I feel so blow because we were about to go out, 62 00:05:01.079 --> 00:05:03.720 and he kept saying like, no, CC, you don't look bloated, 63 00:05:03.720 --> 00:05:05.879 you don't look bloated, and I'm like, don't fuck you lie to me. 64 00:05:06.360 --> 00:05:11.279 I can see my own stomach. I'm not stupid. I can obviously 65 00:05:11.360 --> 00:05:15.839 see that my stomach is more bloated than usual. And then he goes, 66 00:05:16.079 --> 00:05:20.759 okay, okay, okay, you look natural. I just thought that was 67 00:05:20.839 --> 00:05:26.439 so fucking funny. I literally couldn't even be upset that I felt bloated anymore 68 00:05:26.480 --> 00:05:30.319 because I was just hysterically laughing. I was like, I look fucking natural. 69 00:05:30.560 --> 00:05:32.319 I look natural. Is at your way of telling me that I do 70 00:05:32.439 --> 00:05:34.920 look bloaded? And then I was like, ras, you know what, 71 00:05:34.920 --> 00:05:38.319 you're not gonna be able to win this one. Like whether you agree with 72 00:05:38.360 --> 00:05:41.319 me or you're trying to tell me I look perfect, I'm not gonna have 73 00:05:41.399 --> 00:05:44.759 it. So let's just take a beat here. But I just thought that 74 00:05:44.839 --> 00:05:47.160 was so funny because he was just trying to figure out, like, Okay, 75 00:05:47.199 --> 00:05:49.879 what do I say, keep saying she looks perfect, She's not having 76 00:05:49.920 --> 00:05:53.959 that. I can say she looks natural, And you know what, it 77 00:05:54.160 --> 00:05:57.279 was fucking true. It did look natural. My stomach looked like a natural 78 00:05:57.360 --> 00:06:00.160 human stomach that just ate and had kimbucha. But I just thought that was 79 00:06:00.199 --> 00:06:03.120 so funny, and literally in the moment, I was like, I'm telling 80 00:06:03.199 --> 00:06:06.399 my podcast, I'm telling my podcast about this because this is so funny, 81 00:06:06.839 --> 00:06:11.879 and so I had to tell you. But yeah, So apparently after komboocha 82 00:06:11.879 --> 00:06:15.040 and this meal, I didn't look bloated. I look natural. Okay, 83 00:06:15.160 --> 00:06:23.519 PSI, anyway, let's get into this this episode. So we have a 84 00:06:23.560 --> 00:06:26.720 message from a positive bitch. By the way, if you ever want to 85 00:06:26.759 --> 00:06:30.279 suggest a topic for this podcast, you can leave me a voice note in 86 00:06:30.360 --> 00:06:32.600 my DMS, so send that over or you can just type it out, 87 00:06:32.680 --> 00:06:38.319 but DM me on Instagram to suggest what you want to hear. She says, 88 00:06:38.480 --> 00:06:41.959 hi CC Hello, Hello, Hello. First of all, i just 89 00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:45.160 want to send you the biggest hug. I'm forever grateful I found you. 90 00:06:45.160 --> 00:06:47.360 Your reels and podcasts helped me more than I could possibly say. Oh, 91 00:06:47.399 --> 00:06:51.480 I'm so happy. I've downloaded the Calling Your Power backwork book and I've also 92 00:06:51.560 --> 00:06:56.519 just joined the twenty one day Breakup glow Up Challenge and can't wait to start 93 00:06:56.800 --> 00:07:00.800 digging into the gold and diamonds. Today are a girl. Thank you for 94 00:07:00.920 --> 00:07:04.120 joining the challenge and I'm super excited for you. By the way, I'd 95 00:07:04.199 --> 00:07:08.399 also like to suggest a topic for your next podcast, which is how to 96 00:07:08.439 --> 00:07:14.240 handle jealousy best like one our significant others being too friendly with other people or 97 00:07:14.279 --> 00:07:17.399 even leave us for other people, and when we know that our ex we 98 00:07:17.480 --> 00:07:20.439 pretty much are still in love with or at least our egos so as we 99 00:07:20.480 --> 00:07:26.839 are is moving on with other people. I had difficult times navigating jealousy even 100 00:07:26.879 --> 00:07:30.000 from when I was a kid, and I really want to know how to 101 00:07:30.040 --> 00:07:33.040 handle that emotion in a much better way and not be controlled by it. 102 00:07:33.399 --> 00:07:36.360 Thank you so much, Angel, I hope this message finds you well. 103 00:07:36.800 --> 00:07:42.240 I'm sending you so much love to this beautiful, positive bitch, and I'm 104 00:07:42.279 --> 00:07:46.959 super excited to jump into today's podcast because i think it's something that we really 105 00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:51.560 do need guidance on. When we feel jealousy, this emotion is trying to 106 00:07:51.600 --> 00:07:58.399 communicate something to us, and it's our job to not be controlled by the 107 00:07:58.639 --> 00:08:03.600 emotion but translate it correctly so we can create a life that really is in 108 00:08:03.680 --> 00:08:09.079 alignment with our highest self. So when we feel an emotion of jealousy, 109 00:08:11.240 --> 00:08:16.759 one of two things possible three things are happening. The first option is you're 110 00:08:16.839 --> 00:08:22.879 feeling jealousy because your person is literally crossing one of your boundaries. Your boyfriend 111 00:08:24.000 --> 00:08:28.600 is flirting with the waitress, or your friend is trying to hit on your 112 00:08:28.600 --> 00:08:33.120 boyfriend. When you're feeling this emotion, it can be possible that your body 113 00:08:33.159 --> 00:08:37.000 is trying to communicate to you, Hey, this boundary is being crossed and 114 00:08:37.039 --> 00:08:43.240 this isn't okay. That's the first thing we need to understand about jealousy, 115 00:08:43.720 --> 00:08:46.840 not to let it control us, but for us to actually listen to it 116 00:08:48.200 --> 00:08:52.080 when we're feeling jealousy because something is actually happening. I think a lot of 117 00:08:52.120 --> 00:08:54.399 us try to resist it because we think, no, I can't be jealous. 118 00:08:54.399 --> 00:08:58.840 I can't be jealous. Yeah, you fucking can be if something is 119 00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:03.399 going awry, if something is happening, you actually need to listen to that 120 00:09:03.480 --> 00:09:07.919 emotion to understand what to do next in that given circumstance. So if you're 121 00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:13.080 feeling jealous, we need to first ask ourselves, Wait a second, is 122 00:09:13.080 --> 00:09:18.000 there truth in the circumstance with this emotion? What is this emotion trying to 123 00:09:18.039 --> 00:09:22.759 convey to me? Is there something going on? In my circumstances that you 124 00:09:22.840 --> 00:09:26.639 know what, does fucking cross a boundary and isn't okay with me? The 125 00:09:26.799 --> 00:09:31.480 jealousy is trying to put you back on a path of highest vibrational alignment. 126 00:09:31.759 --> 00:09:35.000 And if you're on a path right now where your boyfriend flirts with every single 127 00:09:35.039 --> 00:09:39.600 person you ever see at the bar, then that's not a path that's going 128 00:09:39.639 --> 00:09:46.399 to be in highest vibrational alignment with you. So let's dig into this first. 129 00:09:46.799 --> 00:09:52.000 If you feel like your partners too friendly with other people, always flirting 130 00:09:52.000 --> 00:09:56.600 with other people, and you're literally seeing physical evidence, there needs to be 131 00:09:56.799 --> 00:10:03.399 some sort of conversation about bunduries, standards, what is and is not allowed. 132 00:10:05.759 --> 00:10:11.159 You need to speak up for yourself because I always say other people cannot 133 00:10:11.240 --> 00:10:16.000 read our mind. You might be hoping for and wishing for certain things that 134 00:10:16.039 --> 00:10:22.120 you pray that your significant other will do, but if you never tell them, 135 00:10:22.639 --> 00:10:26.639 how are they supposed to meet that need of yours? They can't read 136 00:10:26.759 --> 00:10:31.120 your mind. If this is becoming a problem, we need to have a 137 00:10:31.120 --> 00:10:35.759 conversation. There needs to be some sort of conversation of hey, when is 138 00:10:35.799 --> 00:10:39.559 a good time for us to sit down and talk. There's a couple of 139 00:10:39.600 --> 00:10:41.519 things that have been on my mind. You don't want to try to talk 140 00:10:41.519 --> 00:10:45.200 to them during a movie. You don't want to try to talk to them 141 00:10:45.200 --> 00:10:48.120 when they're playing their little video game. You don't want to talk to them 142 00:10:48.159 --> 00:10:50.799 when they're at work. You need to find a time that works for both 143 00:10:50.799 --> 00:10:56.159 of you. A Friday night to Saturday morning where you're just sitting down, 144 00:10:56.279 --> 00:10:58.799 it's just you two. You're in your home, or maybe over a coffee 145 00:10:58.879 --> 00:11:03.240 or a meal at a restaurant, and you have this conversation of Hey, 146 00:11:03.960 --> 00:11:09.799 I, in my perception, keep seeing X, Y and Z unfolding, 147 00:11:09.240 --> 00:11:15.320 and it's making me really uncomfortable to be in this relationship. That's not how 148 00:11:15.399 --> 00:11:20.480 I want my partner to treat me and or my relationship. I'll give you 149 00:11:20.519 --> 00:11:24.519 an example years ago when me and Arousemo were dating and I did not understand 150 00:11:24.600 --> 00:11:28.039 what codependency was. I didn't know what anxious attachment was. I didn't know 151 00:11:28.039 --> 00:11:31.840 what any of that stuff was. So this was a while ago, but 152 00:11:31.000 --> 00:11:35.200 I would literally watch his eyeline in the gym to see where it would go. 153 00:11:35.399 --> 00:11:39.679 I was very hyper vigilant of where his eyes were, and at the 154 00:11:39.759 --> 00:11:46.519 gym I happened to go to women wear really interesting clothes. A lot of 155 00:11:46.559 --> 00:11:52.879 them are competitors for bodybuilding. And this one girl, this one time, 156 00:11:54.240 --> 00:12:00.000 it was like she was wearing a thong over her leggings. I don't understand 157 00:12:00.039 --> 00:12:05.879 and what was happening. But I saw Erasmo's eyes looking at her ass, 158 00:12:05.960 --> 00:12:09.559 and now I understand. He could be like, what the fuck is that? 159 00:12:09.600 --> 00:12:13.879 It was interesting outfit, But in my eyes at that time, I 160 00:12:13.919 --> 00:12:16.480 was really insecure. At that time, I was like, he's checking out 161 00:12:16.480 --> 00:12:20.399 her as she did have an unbelievable butt. I mean, the girl worked 162 00:12:20.399 --> 00:12:22.960 it out, honey, So in my eyes, I was like, he 163 00:12:24.440 --> 00:12:28.399 is just staring at her butt. This was years ago. We were both 164 00:12:28.480 --> 00:12:33.919 younger, we both had many things that we needed to heal, and it 165 00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:37.879 was a different, different versions of us that we're in this relationship. But 166 00:12:37.960 --> 00:12:43.840 anyway, I remember just watching this eyeline and my intern it's like, internally 167 00:12:43.840 --> 00:12:50.360 I turned into the Hulk. The anger I felt was just insane. I 168 00:12:50.399 --> 00:12:54.639 felt so upset, not even sad and insecure. I was like, fuck 169 00:12:56.159 --> 00:13:03.440 this that was my emotion and I needed to hear out that emotion because there's 170 00:13:03.840 --> 00:13:09.840 sacred messages in that anger. There's sacred messages. In the jealousy, especially 171 00:13:09.840 --> 00:13:13.559 when it's something we're noticing. We're feeling a lot, but only with this 172 00:13:13.600 --> 00:13:18.799 one specific scenario or this one specific person. I ended up having to have 173 00:13:18.879 --> 00:13:22.759 a conversation with him. I was like, Rasmall, I have perceived that 174 00:13:22.879 --> 00:13:26.679 you were staring at this girl's ass. And I will say, this was 175 00:13:26.759 --> 00:13:31.720 something that wasn't a one time thing. I felt like I've noticed it before, 176 00:13:31.120 --> 00:13:33.519 and that's why I brought it up. It wasn't the first time that 177 00:13:33.600 --> 00:13:37.360 I felt this way, And I said, you know, I know I'm 178 00:13:37.440 --> 00:13:41.399 not yet that evolved. I know I'm dealing with some of my own insecurities 179 00:13:41.440 --> 00:13:45.960 here and I'll work on that, but I need you to work on it 180 00:13:46.000 --> 00:13:50.559 too if we're going to be together, because I'm not willing to handle me 181 00:13:50.679 --> 00:13:54.639 feeling like you have a wandering eye. It's not going to work for me. 182 00:13:54.200 --> 00:13:58.440 And I'm not going to demand you to only look at me. But 183 00:13:58.480 --> 00:14:05.720 I'm too concerns I have what i'm personally comfortable with in a relationship. This 184 00:14:05.799 --> 00:14:09.759 is a green flag when you bring something to someone and you're like, hey, 185 00:14:09.759 --> 00:14:13.960 this needs to stop. He was completely receptive to it. He was 186 00:14:13.000 --> 00:14:16.320 like, you know what, I think you're right. This is something I'm 187 00:14:16.320 --> 00:14:20.759 absolutely going to work on. I'm going to change it immediately. He's like, 188 00:14:20.840 --> 00:14:24.080 sometimes I don't, you know, realize what I'm looking at, and 189 00:14:24.120 --> 00:14:26.440 I can understand it. In the gym, your eye is just like all 190 00:14:26.440 --> 00:14:30.600 over the place. You also just look forward when you're working out. It's 191 00:14:30.679 --> 00:14:33.480 really weird to have eye contact in the gym sometimes because everyone's just looking in 192 00:14:33.559 --> 00:14:37.360 a random direction. Anyway, it doesn't matter, but he took full responsibility. 193 00:14:37.360 --> 00:14:41.080 He's like, no, you're right, I did do that, or 194 00:14:41.320 --> 00:14:43.759 I didn't realize I was doing it here, but I definitely can see it 195 00:14:43.799 --> 00:14:46.000 here. And I don't want you ever to feel like I have a wandering 196 00:14:46.039 --> 00:14:50.559 eye because you're the person I want to be with. So he took full 197 00:14:50.559 --> 00:14:54.919 responsibility. He said sorry for whatever, and I also was like, I'm 198 00:14:54.960 --> 00:14:58.200 sorry if I'm also picking up on things that aren't there, because I also 199 00:14:58.240 --> 00:15:01.759 know I need to work on something, but I need to know that you're 200 00:15:01.879 --> 00:15:05.840 cognizant of what I'm feeling and you're willing to work on this, but so 201 00:15:05.000 --> 00:15:09.960 am. I Like where neither of us are in this alone and we have 202 00:15:11.120 --> 00:15:16.000 this conversation. It allowed us to really get closer. Conflict can bring you 203 00:15:16.039 --> 00:15:20.200 closer when you're able to work through it. And the one thing that you 204 00:15:20.320 --> 00:15:26.000 need to say that I feel has been such a game changer in my relationship 205 00:15:26.639 --> 00:15:30.360 is simply to say, look at this point, I'm not mad about it, 206 00:15:30.399 --> 00:15:33.840 but I'm really turned off. And that was the truth. Yeah, 207 00:15:33.960 --> 00:15:35.639 I was mad in the moment because I'm like, what the fuck, But 208 00:15:35.840 --> 00:15:39.360 afterwards I was like, I don't, I'm not mad, I'm just turned 209 00:15:39.360 --> 00:15:46.200 off. Like I if you want to be a person who is a dog, 210 00:15:43.720 --> 00:15:50.600 a dawg, a dog, then go be a dog, but not 211 00:15:50.720 --> 00:15:54.240 in my yard hunting. Okay, I don't. I'm not into it. 212 00:15:54.320 --> 00:15:56.919 I'm not into it. So if you want to go look women up and 213 00:15:56.960 --> 00:16:00.919 down, and I've this is a thing. I've seen men in relationships look 214 00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:04.840 me up and down while they're holding the hand of their girlfriend. Sorry. 215 00:16:04.879 --> 00:16:10.360 If that's a new fear unlocked, my bad. But I've literally seen that 216 00:16:10.440 --> 00:16:12.360 and it's disgusting to me. And I told that to Erasma. I was 217 00:16:12.360 --> 00:16:17.159 like, when I see a man literally look me up and down while he's 218 00:16:17.360 --> 00:16:22.279 holding the hand of his girlfriend, it's fucking vomit city, Okay, vomit 219 00:16:22.399 --> 00:16:26.960 city. That's disgusting to me, gross not having it. And I'm sure 220 00:16:27.039 --> 00:16:30.519 that person has wounds and fears and whatever the fuck, I don't care. 221 00:16:30.559 --> 00:16:33.480 It's not my problem. Okay, it's not my business. I'm just on 222 00:16:33.480 --> 00:16:37.080 the other end of this and I have a brain, so I'm going to 223 00:16:37.120 --> 00:16:41.679 have my own conclusions. So it's vomit city to me, it's hashtag oo. 224 00:16:41.799 --> 00:16:45.559 It's not for me, gross, not in my yard. Okay. 225 00:16:45.120 --> 00:16:49.879 And this conversation really allowed us to grow so much closer than one another. 226 00:16:49.919 --> 00:16:55.039 I feel like so many of us are just so afraid to create this kind 227 00:16:55.080 --> 00:16:59.679 of conversation because we're afraid if I bring this up, is he gonna leave 228 00:16:59.720 --> 00:17:00.960 me, gonna break up with me? What is he going to do? 229 00:17:02.320 --> 00:17:04.519 And we have all these fears that we're going to be abandoned. We need 230 00:17:04.599 --> 00:17:08.559 to stand up for ourselves. Speaking up for your needs is putting yourself on 231 00:17:08.559 --> 00:17:12.559 the pedestal. Speaking up for your needs is the most liberating thing you can 232 00:17:12.599 --> 00:17:17.920 do. If you're afraid to speak up for your needs, listen to me 233 00:17:18.319 --> 00:17:22.680 now. Your needs can never be met if you do not speak up for 234 00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:29.319 them. You are your own greatest advocate. If your partner your boyfriend is 235 00:17:29.440 --> 00:17:33.799 being flirty with other people, side eyeing other people that bombastic side eye. 236 00:17:33.920 --> 00:17:38.359 But it's all the fucking time you need to say something. You need to 237 00:17:38.359 --> 00:17:44.640 speak up for yourself. Not when you're at a baseball game or I don't 238 00:17:44.640 --> 00:17:47.640 know, ice skating. It needs to be when it's just you two sitting 239 00:17:47.640 --> 00:17:49.519 down. You both have a clear mind and can have a fucking conversation, 240 00:17:49.960 --> 00:17:52.759 and you need to say at this point, I'm not mad, but I'm 241 00:17:52.799 --> 00:17:56.960 turned off. And if you want to go do that be my guest, 242 00:17:56.000 --> 00:18:00.160 but it's not going to be with me. This is not a begging, 243 00:18:00.160 --> 00:18:03.519 This is not needy, this is not crying. This is straight up. 244 00:18:03.680 --> 00:18:06.599 This is what I require. If you can give it to me, great, 245 00:18:06.960 --> 00:18:10.079 and if you can't, that's fine, but this just is not going 246 00:18:10.119 --> 00:18:15.880 to work. You need to have so much confidence in yourself, so much 247 00:18:15.200 --> 00:18:18.559 you know what it is, you know what it really is. After I 248 00:18:18.599 --> 00:18:22.640 went through a breakup and I saw I could do life on my own, 249 00:18:22.720 --> 00:18:25.680 I was like, WHOA, I'm never going to fear if anyone leaves my 250 00:18:25.720 --> 00:18:30.119 life. And sometimes we need a reminder of how fucking powerful we are, 251 00:18:30.359 --> 00:18:34.640 just as our own a little human self if you are starting to get codependent 252 00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:38.200 on your partner, you're being hyper vigilant of your partner and you're forgetting your 253 00:18:38.240 --> 00:18:42.240 own power. That is a sign you need some more alone time. And 254 00:18:42.359 --> 00:18:47.519 trust me, I know, I know it's the last fucking thing that you 255 00:18:47.559 --> 00:18:51.559 want. But you're forgetting who you are. And when we forget who we 256 00:18:51.599 --> 00:18:56.480 are, we are even more needy of our partner to remind us of who 257 00:18:56.480 --> 00:19:00.759 we are in relation to them, because we've lost our connection to ourself. 258 00:19:02.720 --> 00:19:06.680 If you feel like you're so afraid to bring up a conversation, you're afraid 259 00:19:06.720 --> 00:19:08.799 to speak your needs because you're fearing that they're going to leave, you, 260 00:19:10.279 --> 00:19:15.240 understand you are the one abandoning yourself because you are abandoning your own needs, 261 00:19:15.240 --> 00:19:18.359 your own wants, your own morals, your own values, your own self 262 00:19:18.440 --> 00:19:22.559 worth. By not speaking up for what it is you truly need and in 263 00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:26.559 abandoning yourself, what ends up happening is that other people start abandoning us too, 264 00:19:26.960 --> 00:19:32.839 because we're losing our own point of view, We're losing our energy, 265 00:19:32.880 --> 00:19:37.759 We're becoming depleted, and our in our world will always be reflected back to 266 00:19:37.839 --> 00:19:41.759 us in our external world. If I'm constantly abandoning myself. That's going to 267 00:19:41.799 --> 00:19:48.640 manifest as other people abandoning me too. Everything starts with you. Start speaking 268 00:19:48.720 --> 00:19:52.160 up for yourself, because, baby girl, your life fucking depends on it. 269 00:19:52.319 --> 00:19:56.720 Your relationships fucking depend on it. You depend on it. You are 270 00:19:56.759 --> 00:20:00.000 your best friend, you are your biggest advocate, are your own angel. 271 00:20:00.720 --> 00:20:06.559 Start acting like it, Start acting like it. Walk into that conversation like 272 00:20:06.680 --> 00:20:10.319 God himself sent you on this exact mission, and honestly he fucking did. 273 00:20:10.480 --> 00:20:14.440 Okay, he did. Because God doesn't want you getting treated like shit, 274 00:20:15.000 --> 00:20:18.799 not getting treated as you are truly deserving to be treated. God doesn't want 275 00:20:18.839 --> 00:20:23.680 to see you crying every single night. The pain has to start to outweigh 276 00:20:23.680 --> 00:20:26.880 the pleasure for us to make a move most of the time, because if 277 00:20:26.880 --> 00:20:30.319 you think about it, when do we make a change, Not when we're 278 00:20:30.359 --> 00:20:33.920 all happy and jolly. We make changes when we can't take it anymore, 279 00:20:33.200 --> 00:20:37.960 when the pain has started to weigh out the pleasure. And if you were 280 00:20:37.039 --> 00:20:41.359 coming home every single night and feeling terrible about yourself because your boyfriend's flirting with 281 00:20:41.359 --> 00:20:47.319 everyone and their fucking mother, then you need to say something again. Why 282 00:20:47.680 --> 00:20:52.960 Because your life fucking depends on it. Your happiness depends on it, and 283 00:20:52.079 --> 00:20:56.039 your happiness is your responsibility. Your responsibility is not to make your partner happy. 284 00:20:56.079 --> 00:21:00.079 It's to make sure you're good. Okay, You're partner comes second to 285 00:21:00.119 --> 00:21:04.119 you. If you're following apart, everything else in your life will fall apart. 286 00:21:04.160 --> 00:21:10.160 Because you are the foundation. You are the foundation of everything, of 287 00:21:10.240 --> 00:21:12.960 your relationships, of your career, of your job, of your hobbies, 288 00:21:14.000 --> 00:21:18.359 of your passions. You are the foundation. If you start to crack, 289 00:21:18.400 --> 00:21:21.960 if the foundation starts to crack, guess what else is going to crack. 290 00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:26.920 It's everything, girl, is everything is everything. So this is just your 291 00:21:27.079 --> 00:21:32.720 friendly, cute little reminder that you need to speak up for yourself. And 292 00:21:32.839 --> 00:21:37.799 the funny thing is when you speak up for yourself, one of two things 293 00:21:37.799 --> 00:21:41.319 are going to happen. I should say one of three things. One is 294 00:21:41.319 --> 00:21:44.359 that they're going to be like a asthma. They're gonna be like, you 295 00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:47.359 know what, I fucked up. I have some growing up to do. 296 00:21:47.960 --> 00:21:51.880 I need to change how I'm acting in order to keep you. I have 297 00:21:52.119 --> 00:21:55.000 you, I got you, but I need to keep you so I fully 298 00:21:55.079 --> 00:21:57.079 hear you. And I'm gonna change, and I'm gonna do what I need 299 00:21:57.119 --> 00:22:02.000 to do. It can be like that, or it can be like Okay, 300 00:22:02.039 --> 00:22:04.160 I hear what you're saying, and then they make no change, and 301 00:22:04.200 --> 00:22:08.559 then that's going to cause problems because really what's going to happen is over time, 302 00:22:08.599 --> 00:22:11.880 you're just going to become more and more and more turned off, and 303 00:22:11.880 --> 00:22:17.039 eventually you'll just leave, or you'll stay and be in hell. Or the 304 00:22:17.039 --> 00:22:22.759 third option is they completely gaslight you say that's not true and that you're crazy. 305 00:22:22.119 --> 00:22:27.079 And when that happens, we need to take a seat. We need 306 00:22:27.119 --> 00:22:30.079 to take a beat, We need to take a breath, and we need 307 00:22:30.119 --> 00:22:34.920 to figure out, Okay, what the fuck is going on? Because I'm 308 00:22:34.960 --> 00:22:41.200 seeing a world in which I am constantly seeing him flirting with other girls or 309 00:22:41.200 --> 00:22:45.640 looking at other girls, and he's seeing a world in which that never happens. 310 00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:51.359 How are we both seeing a completely different reality? How the fuck is 311 00:22:51.400 --> 00:22:56.799 that possible? So what do we do when it's like this? We need 312 00:22:56.839 --> 00:23:03.359 to do some investigation. Something that this positive bitch said that I thought was 313 00:23:03.480 --> 00:23:06.759 very interesting is she said that, you know, this is something she's been 314 00:23:06.799 --> 00:23:11.400 dealing with her whole entire life. If jealousy is not something you've been dealing 315 00:23:11.440 --> 00:23:14.240 with your whole entire life. And you're like, no, no, no, 316 00:23:14.519 --> 00:23:18.880 I've literally never felt jealous in my life. This is only happening when 317 00:23:18.920 --> 00:23:22.839 you're literally physically talking to other girls, which is all the time, and 318 00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:26.720 you're dming them and you're commenting on their photos and you're liking their photos when 319 00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:30.279 they're half naked and you don't even know them. Okay, that gives you 320 00:23:30.279 --> 00:23:36.480 your evidence right there. Don't guesslight yourself. Instead, just find fucking evidence 321 00:23:36.640 --> 00:23:38.880 of whatever it is you need to clear your mind. That's it. Don't 322 00:23:38.920 --> 00:23:41.759 gaslight yourself. If he wants to gaslight you, if he wants to say 323 00:23:41.799 --> 00:23:45.400 all this shit, okay, go off, sir. Guess what the fuck 324 00:23:45.440 --> 00:23:48.519 is going to happen. You're going to get the evidence you need and you're 325 00:23:48.559 --> 00:23:51.759 going to leave. You're going to leave him, and you're going to create 326 00:23:51.799 --> 00:23:56.440 a space for someone who will respect you, someone who has the capability of 327 00:23:56.480 --> 00:23:59.839 respecting you and seeing your worth. That's what you're going to do. So 328 00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:03.720 if they can't handle their own truth and you're like no, no, I 329 00:24:03.880 --> 00:24:07.440 literally have receipts. No no. All of your friends and my friends know 330 00:24:07.519 --> 00:24:11.559 that you're like this, and we all talk about it. No, I 331 00:24:11.599 --> 00:24:15.839 literally have a woman in my DM saying you're flirting with her or doing whatever. 332 00:24:15.519 --> 00:24:19.960 There's evidence here. If there's that evidence, girl, you know what 333 00:24:21.039 --> 00:24:25.400 to do. Okay, that's all you need. You pop lock and get 334 00:24:25.480 --> 00:24:29.279 out of there. Okay, that's what you do now. Sometimes we don't 335 00:24:29.279 --> 00:24:33.240 have physical evidence, but it is this gut feeling. That's something you need 336 00:24:33.240 --> 00:24:37.119 to meditate on. That is something again, you need more information. If 337 00:24:37.160 --> 00:24:41.000 you don't have enough information, it gives us a lot of anxiety because we 338 00:24:41.039 --> 00:24:44.960 don't know what you do. So if you're having a gut feeling but you 339 00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:48.200 don't have receipts or you don't have your friends and his friends being like no, 340 00:24:48.279 --> 00:24:51.720 he literally is flirting with everyone all the time. If you don't have 341 00:24:51.759 --> 00:24:56.039 that, you need to meditate on it. You need to sit down for 342 00:24:56.119 --> 00:25:00.359 ten to fifteen minutes, put on a frequency from YouTube, and have a 343 00:25:00.440 --> 00:25:06.400 question at hand. What is your question? Maybe it's is my perception of 344 00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:11.319 my past clouding my present? Or is my partner really acting in ways that 345 00:25:11.400 --> 00:25:17.119 are not right to me? Or is it in my own head? Because 346 00:25:17.200 --> 00:25:21.000 sometimes yeah, we are in our own head when it's something we've been seeing 347 00:25:21.000 --> 00:25:22.799 our whole entire life. But other times, no, they literally are just 348 00:25:22.880 --> 00:25:26.720 straight up disrespecting you, and it's up to us to get to the bottom 349 00:25:26.720 --> 00:25:30.200 of this. So if it is a gut feeling and there's no evidence, 350 00:25:30.480 --> 00:25:34.680 sit on it, journal about it, have a question in mind, is 351 00:25:34.839 --> 00:25:40.839 this jealousy? Having some truth in reality, and meditate on it, see 352 00:25:40.880 --> 00:25:44.799 what images you see in your mind or what feelings you get, and allow 353 00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:48.359 that to show you and tell you the information that you need to know. 354 00:25:48.960 --> 00:25:55.039 Regardless if it's physical evidence or spiritual evidence, you do need some sort of 355 00:25:55.519 --> 00:26:00.720 information. So first things first, if you confront them and they're like, 356 00:26:00.799 --> 00:26:04.440 you know what, Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm gonna change. Great. 357 00:26:06.039 --> 00:26:08.079 If you confront them and they say, yeah, I'm going to change, 358 00:26:08.079 --> 00:26:11.359 but then never do. I'll just tell you right now, what's going to 359 00:26:11.400 --> 00:26:15.160 happen over time is you'll be so turned off that you're just gonna want to 360 00:26:15.240 --> 00:26:18.119 leave. So you'll be fine. And the third option is a gas like 361 00:26:18.279 --> 00:26:22.680 you. And when that happens or I won't even say guess like, let's 362 00:26:22.680 --> 00:26:26.160 just say they deny it or it's outside their awareness, or yeah, maybe 363 00:26:26.160 --> 00:26:30.480 they do gaess like you. If that's the last sort of circumstance. They're 364 00:26:30.480 --> 00:26:33.319 basically just saying, no, you're wrong. You need to gather information. 365 00:26:33.480 --> 00:26:38.359 Is a physical information maybe, or it's spiritual, but either way you need 366 00:26:38.720 --> 00:26:44.759 more. Now let's say it's none of those, and you're like, no, 367 00:26:44.920 --> 00:26:48.759 you know, this is something I've been dealing with my whole entire life, 368 00:26:48.759 --> 00:26:53.519 and I have no freaking clue how to not be controlled by this emotion, 369 00:26:53.640 --> 00:27:00.319 because whether it's with my relationships or my friends, I'm just oh ways 370 00:27:00.359 --> 00:27:06.720 feeling this jealousy. When it came to jealousy for me, I realized I 371 00:27:06.759 --> 00:27:10.559 would feel jealous when I didn't feel confident in myself. I would feel jealous 372 00:27:10.559 --> 00:27:14.319 when I felt shitty about myself. So when I was eating bad foods, 373 00:27:14.319 --> 00:27:18.039 when I wasn't moving my body, when I wasn't having a passion or a 374 00:27:18.160 --> 00:27:22.960 purpose, I would get really jealous all the time. Why because Erasma was 375 00:27:23.000 --> 00:27:27.599 on my platform. I was going to say, Rosma was on my sort 376 00:27:27.640 --> 00:27:32.599 of a platform, my pedestal, and I wasn't. So I was looking 377 00:27:32.640 --> 00:27:34.160 up at Rosma like, oh my god, this is my shiny little ruby, 378 00:27:34.200 --> 00:27:37.640 and if anyone tries to take my ruby, I'm going to freak out. 379 00:27:38.119 --> 00:27:41.920 But what I needed to do was instead placed myself on the pedestal and 380 00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:45.960 say what do I need to do to feel my best? And this is 381 00:27:45.960 --> 00:27:52.599 the working on yourself part of jealousy. It's really hard to make me jealous 382 00:27:52.640 --> 00:27:56.000 now because I feel like I'm a fucking prize. It's really hard to make 383 00:27:56.000 --> 00:28:00.799 me jealous now because I feel like I'm on my own pedestal and you can't 384 00:28:00.799 --> 00:28:03.839 compete with me because I'm not competing with you. It's really hard for you 385 00:28:03.920 --> 00:28:07.759 to try to make me feel jealous now because I mean, what are you 386 00:28:07.799 --> 00:28:11.880 going to try to do to me? I can't even think of something that 387 00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:14.960 could happen because I'd be like, I literally don't care. I'm apprised, 388 00:28:14.960 --> 00:28:18.519 And if you want to go do that, that's your loss. So how 389 00:28:18.519 --> 00:28:23.319 do we get to this point? In my point of view, it's simple. 390 00:28:23.359 --> 00:28:27.119 It's not always easy. Okay, some of the steps are hard, 391 00:28:27.640 --> 00:28:34.119 but it is simple. It's eating healthy AKA putting foods into my body that 392 00:28:34.200 --> 00:28:38.480 don't wreck my gut. Think about your vegas nerve that runs from your gut 393 00:28:38.519 --> 00:28:42.960 to your brain, and if you have poor gut health, how are you 394 00:28:42.960 --> 00:28:47.640 supposed to make serotonin? How's that serotonin supposed to get to your brain, 395 00:28:47.960 --> 00:28:51.279 how are you supposed to feel good? Don't sleep on your fucking health. 396 00:28:51.640 --> 00:28:56.000 Okay, these hormones, I mean, the fucking pills are trying to put 397 00:28:56.039 --> 00:28:57.359 us on. I went to my guy in college just the other day and 398 00:28:57.359 --> 00:29:02.200 they're trying to pop out birth control like it's fucking candy. And look, 399 00:29:02.319 --> 00:29:07.920 I know some people are on birth control because they have extreme periods or you 400 00:29:07.960 --> 00:29:11.759 know, whatever it may be. There's different health concerns. And if you're 401 00:29:11.759 --> 00:29:15.839 in survival mode right now and you're like CC, I literally can't exist without 402 00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:18.480 it because I'm doubled over in page twenty four seven. Whatever it may be, 403 00:29:18.759 --> 00:29:22.400 I understand, but let me just tell you. You're treating the symptom 404 00:29:22.440 --> 00:29:26.400 and not the root. You're treating the symptom and not the root. When 405 00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:29.440 I was talking to my god to colleges, she was like, well, 406 00:29:29.599 --> 00:29:32.319 you can just go on birth control. And I was like, I'm not 407 00:29:32.440 --> 00:29:36.119 going on birth control, you lady, Like, stop telling me to go 408 00:29:36.160 --> 00:29:38.559 on birth control. She said a three different times. I wasn't even complaining 409 00:29:38.559 --> 00:29:41.039 about anything. I was talking about my period, just talking about it. 410 00:29:41.319 --> 00:29:45.039 I'm like, I'm not asking for it and I've literally said no multiple times. 411 00:29:45.279 --> 00:29:48.079 I don't know what you want for my life. And anyway, I 412 00:29:48.119 --> 00:29:52.599 feel like they're just the popping it out like fucking candy. Like I said, 413 00:29:52.599 --> 00:29:55.000 they really just want you on birth control. Just want every want on 414 00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:57.039 birth control. Let me just tell you, it affects your hormones, It 415 00:29:57.039 --> 00:30:00.359 affects your body. It treats symptoms and not the If you're having problems, 416 00:30:00.480 --> 00:30:06.359 get a homeopathic doctor. If it's possible, Okay, start looking up online. 417 00:30:07.039 --> 00:30:10.480 It's a first step. What are natural ways for me to heal cramps, 418 00:30:10.480 --> 00:30:11.599 for me to do X, Y and Z, for me to figure 419 00:30:11.640 --> 00:30:15.880 this shit out? Because treating the symptom, Trust me, I've tried it, 420 00:30:15.920 --> 00:30:19.960 Okay, like a psychiatrists try to give me sleeping pills. She was 421 00:30:21.039 --> 00:30:25.160 trying to treat the symptom, and that didn't help me heal. All I 422 00:30:25.200 --> 00:30:26.400 did was go to sleep a little bit. Okay, fine, fine for 423 00:30:26.480 --> 00:30:30.599 the time being. But most people when they get these sleeping pills, they 424 00:30:30.599 --> 00:30:33.319 stay on them forever and they always just try to treat the symptom. Stop 425 00:30:33.359 --> 00:30:37.799 with the fucking symptoms and look at the root. Because if you don't go 426 00:30:37.839 --> 00:30:41.039 to the root, it's not going to allow you to actually heal from the 427 00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:44.440 inside out. That's all I'm going to say. I'm not a doctor. 428 00:30:44.519 --> 00:30:47.720 Okay, this is not medical advice. I'm just a girl on the internet 429 00:30:47.759 --> 00:30:52.319 who's had some experiences with prescription pills because of certain things I've had to go 430 00:30:52.400 --> 00:30:56.920 through, And I'm just gonna say it doesn't treat the root. It prolongs. 431 00:30:56.960 --> 00:31:00.599 It work on your gut health because a lot of your happiness, your 432 00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:04.680 little happy hormone chemicals, are created in your gut and they're carried throughout your 433 00:31:04.680 --> 00:31:08.920 whole entire body. I believe it's nine of serotonin is created in your gut 434 00:31:10.200 --> 00:31:14.799 and your vagus nerve mostly travels from your gut to your brain. Most people 435 00:31:14.839 --> 00:31:17.400 think, oh, you know, most of our chemicals are made in our 436 00:31:17.440 --> 00:31:19.920 brain and most of the information travels from our brain. It's actually the other 437 00:31:19.960 --> 00:31:23.319 way around. So check in with what you're eating. And I'm not saying 438 00:31:23.319 --> 00:31:29.000 you have to do any sort of you know, eating regimen. Just try 439 00:31:29.079 --> 00:31:33.240 to do better. Like if you're drinking soda every day, try switching out 440 00:31:33.279 --> 00:31:37.720 three of those sodas for some water. That's it, baby fucking steps. 441 00:31:37.799 --> 00:31:41.359 I'm not a fan of trying to change your whole entire life overnight. I'm 442 00:31:41.359 --> 00:31:45.880 a fan of baby steps. If you're at the grocery store and you see 443 00:31:45.920 --> 00:31:49.160 the you know, the cucumber to you usually get. See if there's organic, 444 00:31:49.359 --> 00:31:52.440 you know, yeas a little bit more expensive, which is fucking insane 445 00:31:52.440 --> 00:31:56.759 that we have to pay more money for them not to put chemicals and shit 446 00:31:56.880 --> 00:32:00.720 on it, But that's the world we live in right now. Anyway, 447 00:32:00.440 --> 00:32:06.000 See if they're organic, just make these little baby steps, and over time 448 00:32:06.000 --> 00:32:08.920 that's really going to affect how you feel. A lot of depression is when 449 00:32:08.960 --> 00:32:13.920 we're not living in alignment with our higher self. And when we're not living 450 00:32:13.920 --> 00:32:17.440 in alignment, it looks like eating shit, eating chemicals. Just it's these 451 00:32:17.440 --> 00:32:21.559 foods that we think our food are literally not food. It's just chemicals placed 452 00:32:21.559 --> 00:32:24.920 in a wrapper. Like a skittle is not food. That's literally chemicals put 453 00:32:24.960 --> 00:32:30.160 together and we're just eating it. Anyway. A lot of this depression, 454 00:32:30.359 --> 00:32:34.119 a lot of this insecurity, a lot of this jealousy comes and stems from 455 00:32:34.279 --> 00:32:38.160 us not living in alignment with our truest, highest vibrational versions of ourselves. 456 00:32:38.599 --> 00:32:43.480 So if we're eating like shit, we're creating hormones that aren't going to make 457 00:32:43.559 --> 00:32:46.519 us feel good, and it also might have secondary effects of us breaking out. 458 00:32:46.880 --> 00:32:51.240 I know when I have too much chocolate. Can I just know breakout's 459 00:32:51.240 --> 00:32:53.160 going to happen because that's how my body reacts to it. I'm sensitive to 460 00:32:53.200 --> 00:32:57.759 it, and that doesn't make me feel good. So the first thing I 461 00:32:57.799 --> 00:33:01.680 did was I took responsibility over when I was putting into my mouth what foods 462 00:33:01.720 --> 00:33:05.039 I was eating. I was like, Okay, I don't have to be 463 00:33:05.119 --> 00:33:08.880 perfect, because nobody is. But maybe if I can just switch five of 464 00:33:08.960 --> 00:33:14.680 my decisions a week to be something a little bit better over time, that's 465 00:33:14.720 --> 00:33:17.599 going to really help me. So it's just baby steps. Eating better is 466 00:33:17.599 --> 00:33:22.519 going to make you feel better. Second thing is movement. I don't care 467 00:33:22.559 --> 00:33:24.880 what kind of movement you do. I don't care if you're doing belly dancing, 468 00:33:25.160 --> 00:33:31.920 lacrosse, taking a walk, swimming, yoga, stretching, running the 469 00:33:31.960 --> 00:33:36.440 peloton, the StairMaster, I don't care. It doesn't matter to me. 470 00:33:36.839 --> 00:33:40.480 But when you move your body, you move out negative energy that has been 471 00:33:40.519 --> 00:33:45.079 bubbling up within your vessel. If you've ever seen two dogs play fight and 472 00:33:45.160 --> 00:33:50.519 then they run away from one another and shake out their bodies. Dogs instinctively 473 00:33:50.599 --> 00:33:55.279 know to remove energy from the last circumstance that they were involved with. The 474 00:33:55.359 --> 00:33:59.960 last encounter. We, however, get into a fight with our boyfriend, 475 00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:02.240 get into a fight with our mom, getting into something with our coworker, 476 00:34:02.319 --> 00:34:07.960 and we just absorb, absorb, absorb all this negative energy and our body 477 00:34:07.000 --> 00:34:12.000 all day long, and it makes us feel like shit. So confidence key 478 00:34:12.079 --> 00:34:15.000 number one is eat better and you're gonna feel better because your hormones are going 479 00:34:15.079 --> 00:34:17.599 to be doing better, your chemicals are going to be doing better. And 480 00:34:17.639 --> 00:34:22.599 you're also gonna feel better because maybe it's less of a breakout or less of 481 00:34:22.599 --> 00:34:25.159 the bloating because you're allergic to the fucking food. So many of the foods 482 00:34:25.199 --> 00:34:29.360 I was eating, I was straight up just sensitive to them and so they 483 00:34:29.360 --> 00:34:31.639 would cause negative effects in my body. That's going to make you feel better 484 00:34:31.679 --> 00:34:37.280 because you're gonna start to appreciate the foods you're putting into your body. You're 485 00:34:37.280 --> 00:34:42.559 gonna start to feel lighter on your feet. Second thing is movement, moving 486 00:34:42.559 --> 00:34:45.239 your body in any possible way. Even if you just get up and towerk 487 00:34:45.320 --> 00:34:47.960 on your wall, I don't care. That's amazing. That's great. Getting 488 00:34:49.039 --> 00:34:52.840 up and shaking out your body. This is releasing the energy from your past 489 00:34:52.920 --> 00:34:57.880 experiences, releasing subconscious energy that you don't even know you're holding. Let it 490 00:34:58.079 --> 00:35:04.039 out. Another thing that really helped me move away from insecurity and instead really 491 00:35:04.039 --> 00:35:08.480 create confidence was finding a creative outlet and then working on that thing. Because 492 00:35:08.519 --> 00:35:13.719 when I had nothing to do, I always say idle time as the devil's 493 00:35:13.760 --> 00:35:16.519 playground. When I had nothing to do, all I would do would be 494 00:35:16.639 --> 00:35:21.239 spiral about what Erasmo may be doing, who is he talking to? Who 495 00:35:21.280 --> 00:35:25.360 is people learning my laaaa? Like just a goblin of depression. Honestly, 496 00:35:25.599 --> 00:35:29.360 when I had nothing to do, it would cause me to think about very 497 00:35:29.559 --> 00:35:31.719 negative things. So what did I do? I found a creative outlet. 498 00:35:31.760 --> 00:35:36.320 Ooh I love piano, Oh I love singing, ooh I love this painting 499 00:35:36.679 --> 00:35:42.199 situation, and I started to do that instead. So instead of me spiraling 500 00:35:42.239 --> 00:35:45.920 about insecurities, I found something like singing, like songwriting, like piano. 501 00:35:46.639 --> 00:35:50.679 It allowed me to do something with my time, my energy, and my 502 00:35:50.719 --> 00:35:53.599 focus. But then I started to gain confidence as I got better and better 503 00:35:53.639 --> 00:35:58.000 and better at it. If you think about it, let's say you're joining 504 00:35:58.039 --> 00:36:00.480 the tennis team and you've never played tennis in your life, you're not going 505 00:36:00.519 --> 00:36:05.559 to be the most confident on the core. But as you practice and you 506 00:36:05.599 --> 00:36:09.199 get better, your confidence grows. So if we feel like we have nothing 507 00:36:09.239 --> 00:36:14.639 to offer, we have no special talent or no hobby or no creative outlet, 508 00:36:15.119 --> 00:36:19.599 that does reak havoc on our confidence because we're thinking, well, everyone 509 00:36:19.639 --> 00:36:22.920 else has something, but not me. I'm not special. I'm not worthy 510 00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:27.199 because I don't know how to do anything. Find something that you have a 511 00:36:27.280 --> 00:36:30.159 little bit of interest in and just see where it goes. You don't have 512 00:36:30.199 --> 00:36:36.239 to commit to it. Find something, whether it's pottery, I will Erasmo 513 00:36:36.440 --> 00:36:39.639 scheduled us to have this pottery date. I think it was like last year 514 00:36:39.639 --> 00:36:44.119 for Valentine's Day and we did pottery. I thought I'd be so into it, 515 00:36:44.239 --> 00:36:45.760 I'm not. Okay. It was a fucking mess. He was better 516 00:36:45.800 --> 00:36:47.480 at it than I was, and I was like, you know what, 517 00:36:47.960 --> 00:36:52.719 this is not for me. This is definitely not for me. I don't 518 00:36:52.760 --> 00:36:55.480 like a huge mess. And I needed to realize that. So if you 519 00:36:55.599 --> 00:36:59.519 go and try something, you're like, oh my god, I thought I 520 00:36:59.519 --> 00:37:02.920 would like that and I realized I don't. That's fine. That's fine, 521 00:37:04.039 --> 00:37:07.159 that's a okay, you never have to do it again, but just start 522 00:37:07.199 --> 00:37:12.159 experimenting with new possible paths to go down and see, you know, is 523 00:37:12.159 --> 00:37:15.519 there something I want to explore? Maybe it's going to be something really special 524 00:37:15.519 --> 00:37:19.400 to me, Maybe it's going to change my life. Finding these passions, 525 00:37:19.440 --> 00:37:22.199 I always say, really does lead to your purpose because you're going to start 526 00:37:22.280 --> 00:37:28.800 meeting similar minded people, so soulmate best friends and soulmate partners. Maybe you 527 00:37:28.880 --> 00:37:32.400 never know, you're really going to start to find people who are in like 528 00:37:32.639 --> 00:37:37.000 vibrational alignment with you. And that's going to also increase your confidence because now 529 00:37:37.039 --> 00:37:44.280 you're creating a circle of people who feel good to you vibrationally. Another thing 530 00:37:44.519 --> 00:37:50.000 is really understanding what it is you want your purpose to be. And you 531 00:37:50.079 --> 00:37:52.679 might be thinking, CC, how can I want my purpose to be? 532 00:37:52.760 --> 00:37:57.480 Something? Isn't it? I'm just given a purpose and that's that. I 533 00:37:57.559 --> 00:38:02.400 don't see the world that way. I find that our purpose is really embedded 534 00:38:02.440 --> 00:38:07.199 into, like I said before, our passions and our heart. I don't 535 00:38:07.199 --> 00:38:09.800 think we're given a purpose that we fucking hate. Like I don't think my 536 00:38:09.880 --> 00:38:14.639 purpose is to be a math teacher. I don't like the whole schooling system. 537 00:38:14.639 --> 00:38:16.400 I don't really love that on all that jazz. I don't think that 538 00:38:16.400 --> 00:38:20.880 would be my purpose because I'm not into it. I feel like my purpose 539 00:38:21.000 --> 00:38:23.440 is helping people unbecome who they are not so they can fully become who they 540 00:38:23.480 --> 00:38:30.400 are and use social media as a creative outlet to reach people and to really 541 00:38:30.440 --> 00:38:34.519 guide people back home to themselves and be a trigger for a self awakening. 542 00:38:35.159 --> 00:38:39.519 And I love what I do. I fucking love this. And that also 543 00:38:39.960 --> 00:38:45.119 allows me to remove insecurity and gain confidence because I feel plugged into what I'm 544 00:38:45.159 --> 00:38:49.960 doing every single day. When I was in school, I've said this before, 545 00:38:50.079 --> 00:38:52.119 I was always good at school. I knew how to manifest good greeds 546 00:38:52.159 --> 00:38:57.159 even though I didn't know I was manifesting. I knew how to study. 547 00:38:57.280 --> 00:39:00.519 I have an amazing memory that one. That's why I was so good at 548 00:39:00.519 --> 00:39:04.559 school, just because I wouldn't memorize a whole entire textbook and be done with 549 00:39:04.559 --> 00:39:10.000 it. But what I've learned is that when I was in school, I 550 00:39:10.039 --> 00:39:15.360 didn't have this career, this purpose fueling me, and I was good at 551 00:39:15.400 --> 00:39:19.719 school. So yeah, I got a lot of confidence from just having good 552 00:39:19.760 --> 00:39:23.079 grades. Again, I would feel less confident if I wasn't getting the good 553 00:39:23.119 --> 00:39:25.519 grades, but because I did, I was like, yeah, well I 554 00:39:25.599 --> 00:39:29.960 get good grades. I'm confident to raise my hand. I'm confident to speak 555 00:39:30.039 --> 00:39:32.280 up. I'm confident to, you know, write this paper. I know 556 00:39:32.360 --> 00:39:36.880 I'm going to do well. I'm confident to take this test because I put 557 00:39:36.960 --> 00:39:40.440 action behind it. I studied, I manifested, But there was a missing 558 00:39:40.519 --> 00:39:45.840 peace in that confidence of I hated what I was doing, Like there was 559 00:39:45.880 --> 00:39:51.840 a lot of classes like, oh god, ap bio was just not fun 560 00:39:52.360 --> 00:39:54.199 in Latin class. When I was in college, I took Latin and that 561 00:39:54.280 --> 00:40:00.199 was a really painful experience. I don't wish that my worst enemy. But 562 00:40:00.559 --> 00:40:04.119 when I was doing that, I had confidence that I would do well. 563 00:40:04.159 --> 00:40:07.840 But I didn't have confidence in myself and other areas. I didn't feel like 564 00:40:07.880 --> 00:40:10.280 a fully formed human. I felt like a robot in school doing what I 565 00:40:10.320 --> 00:40:15.800 should be doing. So if you're in school or if you're graduated, I 566 00:40:15.840 --> 00:40:20.280 don't care. You need something on the side. And having something on the 567 00:40:20.320 --> 00:40:23.159 side is a luxury because a lot of us are like CC. I'm trying 568 00:40:23.159 --> 00:40:25.679 to make ends meet. I have to work, and then I go to 569 00:40:25.719 --> 00:40:30.840 school and maybe you're on a sport and you're like, I'm fucking exhausted by 570 00:40:30.840 --> 00:40:35.000 the time I get home. That's okay. That doesn't mean you never have 571 00:40:35.199 --> 00:40:39.360 time, though, to do things that you were interested in on the weekend, 572 00:40:40.400 --> 00:40:45.679 on a Thursday, when you have a day off, take so much 573 00:40:45.679 --> 00:40:50.480 responsibility over your time, Make time your best friend. Start carving out time 574 00:40:50.679 --> 00:40:53.960 where you can start to see or volunteer or find out things that you might 575 00:40:54.000 --> 00:41:00.199 be interested in. Because when you find not just a hobby, not just 576 00:41:00.239 --> 00:41:05.039 a creative outlet, but something that you actually want to do with your life, 577 00:41:06.039 --> 00:41:09.000 whether it's volunteering or creating a TikTok, it doesn't matter. When you 578 00:41:09.039 --> 00:41:15.239 find that thing, there's something that unlocks within you that makes you feel so 579 00:41:15.320 --> 00:41:19.519 fucking powerful. And when you feel so powerful, like I'm plugged in, 580 00:41:19.679 --> 00:41:22.679 I'm plugged into who I am in my purpose, you don't care as much 581 00:41:22.679 --> 00:41:29.000 about what other people are doing because you're constantly reminding yourself of your power and 582 00:41:29.079 --> 00:41:34.639 how much of a prize you truly are. So of course you can do 583 00:41:34.679 --> 00:41:39.840 things like affirmations, and you can buy cute workout clothes to make you feel 584 00:41:39.880 --> 00:41:44.480 good, and those are great ways to feel better. But really, when 585 00:41:44.480 --> 00:41:47.480 it comes down to it from me, it's simple. It's putting healthy foods 586 00:41:47.480 --> 00:41:53.239 into my body aka not chemically induced fake food. It's moving my body some 587 00:41:53.280 --> 00:41:58.280 sort of movement every single day. It's having my creative outlet. When I 588 00:41:58.320 --> 00:42:01.599 do have those lower vibrational emotions instead of just spiraling, I go to the 589 00:42:01.639 --> 00:42:06.920 piano and I release them. And it's having my career, my passion, 590 00:42:07.519 --> 00:42:13.559 my purpose worked on. You don't have to have it completely drawn out, 591 00:42:13.719 --> 00:42:16.480 you don't have to have it completely unraveled for you. If you're just trying 592 00:42:16.480 --> 00:42:20.559 to figure out your purpose, it's not going to be. It never is, 593 00:42:21.039 --> 00:42:24.519 but just open up yourself to chapter one of your purpose and just get 594 00:42:24.599 --> 00:42:30.320 started. So what we're doing is instead of having idle time to just spiral 595 00:42:30.480 --> 00:42:36.880 about our X or our partner or whoever it may be, we're taking time. 596 00:42:36.920 --> 00:42:40.480 We're carving time out to work on ourselves, to work on our confidence. 597 00:42:40.840 --> 00:42:46.719 And when we're working on our confidence, this is not going to allow 598 00:42:46.880 --> 00:42:52.280 us to be so insecure about our partners because we're going to start realizing our 599 00:42:52.440 --> 00:42:58.159 own worth, we're going to start realizing our own power. And now we're 600 00:42:58.199 --> 00:43:01.480 able to do these things outside of the relationship. But when we have nothing 601 00:43:01.559 --> 00:43:06.519 going on outside of the relationship, we do feel extra jealous, We do 602 00:43:06.639 --> 00:43:09.199 feel extra and secure because the only thing we have going for us is the 603 00:43:09.280 --> 00:43:15.960 fucking relationship. So if you're feeling like you have this jealousy from when the 604 00:43:15.039 --> 00:43:20.320 time you were a child to now, we need to work on your self 605 00:43:20.360 --> 00:43:25.880 concept akay, your self confidence, your vision of yourself and who you think 606 00:43:25.920 --> 00:43:32.239 you are, because that is the root of all these external circumstances happening. 607 00:43:32.960 --> 00:43:37.679 When I thought that Erasma was looking at other women or whatever it may be, 608 00:43:37.719 --> 00:43:39.880 and sometimes, like I said, he was, that was a mirror 609 00:43:39.960 --> 00:43:45.800 reflection of my own self doubt and my own seeds of unworthiness. I thought 610 00:43:45.800 --> 00:43:47.800 that they were better than me, those women because they were muscle mommies and 611 00:43:47.880 --> 00:43:52.199 I wasn't yet, and so that was a physical manifestation of that. But 612 00:43:52.320 --> 00:43:55.920 once we had that conversation and I said, look, I'm not fully evolved, 613 00:43:57.079 --> 00:43:59.760 neither of you. This is something we need to work on. Are 614 00:43:59.800 --> 00:44:01.039 you willing to work on it with me? And he says yes, and 615 00:44:01.079 --> 00:44:06.320 I say yes, that's a commitment for both of you to work on being 616 00:44:06.360 --> 00:44:09.880 your best self because Honestly, if I was to allow a Rasma to just 617 00:44:10.000 --> 00:44:14.960 look at everyone's ass all the time, that's not me pushing him to grow 618 00:44:15.039 --> 00:44:17.639 and become his best self. That's me letting him fall to the wayside and 619 00:44:17.760 --> 00:44:27.320 me literally going to be just bent over with misery and constantly spiraling. I 620 00:44:27.440 --> 00:44:30.320 knew that this is something that has to change. Of course it does. 621 00:44:30.360 --> 00:44:36.559 That's not fucking okay. And I think that when you go from I started 622 00:44:36.639 --> 00:44:42.079 dating as when I was eighteen and we've been together for over six years now, 623 00:44:43.599 --> 00:44:49.119 when you go from being really young together to growing into adults, there's 624 00:44:49.159 --> 00:44:52.039 going to be a lot of things that you had to be like, hey, 625 00:44:52.039 --> 00:44:55.159 this isn't okay. Like you're seriously dating me, this is not okay. 626 00:44:55.480 --> 00:45:00.000 So it's going to be okay if you have to have those conversations, 627 00:45:00.320 --> 00:45:02.880 it's going to be okay. When you meet a new roadblock and you're like, 628 00:45:04.280 --> 00:45:07.760 oh no, this contrast is leading me to clarify what I do and 629 00:45:07.880 --> 00:45:12.159 do not want in a relationship, that's okay. Those things are meant to 630 00:45:12.199 --> 00:45:16.039 be there so you can grow deeper in love with yourself and in this relationship. 631 00:45:16.320 --> 00:45:21.800 But if you never bring it up you're not allowing yourself to fully step 632 00:45:21.840 --> 00:45:25.360 into who you truly are. So to put this in a nutshell, if 633 00:45:25.360 --> 00:45:30.079 you're having these feelings of jealousy, first off, you need to say something. 634 00:45:30.719 --> 00:45:36.599 You need to speak up for yourself. If you're seeing someone do something 635 00:45:36.639 --> 00:45:38.239 to you that you're feeling okay, No, no, no, this is 636 00:45:38.280 --> 00:45:43.239 not okay. That feeling of jealousy is not to control you. It's trying 637 00:45:43.280 --> 00:45:46.559 to convey a message. And if you look and there's evidence, physical, 638 00:45:46.719 --> 00:45:52.320 straight in your face evidence, you have to say something. Now. Sometimes 639 00:45:52.320 --> 00:45:57.920 that emotion of jealousy is being triggered, but we're translating it in the wrong 640 00:45:57.960 --> 00:46:01.119 way. And that's when we're picking up on things that aren't actually there. 641 00:46:01.239 --> 00:46:06.599 That's when our past is still controlling our present and we're punishing people in our 642 00:46:06.639 --> 00:46:12.000 present for things that happened in our past. When that happens, that feeling 643 00:46:12.000 --> 00:46:15.639 of jealousy, don't let it control you. That's not what it's meant to 644 00:46:15.679 --> 00:46:19.519 be there for. It's coming up because it's trying to be released. And 645 00:46:19.559 --> 00:46:22.760 when you just allow yourself to be like, you know what, I just 646 00:46:22.880 --> 00:46:25.239 need to take a moment. I just need to take a beat and allow 647 00:46:25.360 --> 00:46:29.920 this motion to come out of me. Whether I want to scream into a 648 00:46:29.960 --> 00:46:34.159 pillow or move my body or do something creative, I'm just going to allow 649 00:46:34.199 --> 00:46:37.840 this emotion to release out of my body so it can leave. Every single 650 00:46:37.840 --> 00:46:43.880 time and emotion is triggered, it is inviting you to release it into higher 651 00:46:43.960 --> 00:46:50.639 vibrational energy. So sometimes when we're feeling jealousy, we're not translating it correctly. 652 00:46:50.679 --> 00:46:53.360 It's not even about the other person. It's about how we feel about 653 00:46:53.360 --> 00:46:59.559 ourselves. But the more you work on yourself, your healthy food choices, 654 00:46:59.599 --> 00:47:02.920 you man a creative outlet, and your passion, your purpose, the less 655 00:47:02.960 --> 00:47:07.519 those feelings of jealousy are going to come up because you're focused on a different 656 00:47:07.559 --> 00:47:10.920 vibration. It's funny, you know, they say, don't fight fire with 657 00:47:12.039 --> 00:47:15.440 fire because it's just going to cause more fire. Don't try to fight your 658 00:47:15.519 --> 00:47:22.079 jealousy instead of release it and refocus. Release it through movement or through screaming 659 00:47:22.119 --> 00:47:24.840 into a pillow, or through writing it out in a journal, and then 660 00:47:24.960 --> 00:47:30.559 refocus on how you can become more confident in who you are, because that 661 00:47:30.679 --> 00:47:34.960 confidence is going to get you into doors you could have never even dreamed about. 662 00:47:35.239 --> 00:47:38.119 Confidence will carry you when you feel like you have nothing else going on. 663 00:47:38.599 --> 00:47:44.880 And that's really what it comes down to. When you're confident in yourself 664 00:47:45.159 --> 00:47:49.880 and you see someone who maybe isn't a highest vibrational match for you because you 665 00:47:49.920 --> 00:47:52.719 do feel like they're a little flirty with everyone else, it's going to stop 666 00:47:52.800 --> 00:47:55.880 being such a I can't believe you would do this to me. You're hurting 667 00:47:55.880 --> 00:48:00.960 my feelings, and it's going to be I'm literally just turned off. This 668 00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:04.559 is vomit city. But we can't get to that point if we feel like 669 00:48:04.679 --> 00:48:07.639 we're shitty mcshitterson and then other person's on our pedestal. But when we start 670 00:48:07.679 --> 00:48:14.360 putting ourselves on the pedestal, we no longer see their flirtiness with someone else 671 00:48:14.519 --> 00:48:16.159 as something to be jealous of, but we see it as a turn off, 672 00:48:16.280 --> 00:48:21.639 and we easily remove ourselves from the situation. And just in case I 673 00:48:21.760 --> 00:48:25.679 wasn't clear, someone being flirty with other people while you're in a relationship, 674 00:48:27.079 --> 00:48:30.519 that's not okay. In case that wasn't clear, Just in case, that's 675 00:48:30.639 --> 00:48:35.880 never okay. So you either speak up about it if it's really happening, 676 00:48:35.920 --> 00:48:39.679 if you're seeing it happen. I even say even if you're not sure if 677 00:48:39.679 --> 00:48:43.519 it's really happening, and you're like, am I making this up? There's 678 00:48:43.719 --> 00:48:46.440 nothing wrong with just conveying how you're feeling. I do that all the time 679 00:48:46.440 --> 00:48:50.599 with a raspal I'll say, you know, I know this is more a 680 00:48:50.679 --> 00:48:53.079 me thing, but I'm just lately, I'm really feeling like X Y and 681 00:48:53.159 --> 00:48:58.880 Z, just because he's my partner and he's been with me through literally everything, 682 00:48:59.079 --> 00:49:04.599 and when you are able to be vulnerable, he's a very loving person 683 00:49:04.880 --> 00:49:07.880 and that allows me to see, oh, this is someone I can go 684 00:49:07.960 --> 00:49:12.519 through life with. But if you're being vulnerable with your partner and you're saying, 685 00:49:12.599 --> 00:49:14.920 you know, I'm not sure if this is really happening, but I'm 686 00:49:14.960 --> 00:49:16.800 really feeling like X Y and Z and they're like, fuck you, you're 687 00:49:16.800 --> 00:49:21.880 crazy. That is just information you need to know. That's not someone you 688 00:49:21.920 --> 00:49:24.760 want to be with anyway. So regardless if you're like, I think this 689 00:49:24.840 --> 00:49:29.760 is really happening or I'm not sure, there's nothing wrong with expressing how you're 690 00:49:29.760 --> 00:49:32.760 feeling, and you should absolutely fucking do it. And if you don't have 691 00:49:32.800 --> 00:49:37.199 any evidence, if it is from your past and you don't even have a 692 00:49:37.239 --> 00:49:39.519 spiritual evidence where you're like, no, I'm pretty sure this is just in 693 00:49:39.559 --> 00:49:45.199 my mind. I meditated about it and there's literally nothing that I'm feeling they're 694 00:49:45.239 --> 00:49:47.400 doing wrong. Then that's when we know, Okay, I need to work 695 00:49:47.480 --> 00:49:52.360 on my own self confidence. I hope this episode has helped you not be 696 00:49:52.480 --> 00:49:58.119 controlled by your jealousy but instead listen to it and understand the message is trying 697 00:49:58.159 --> 00:50:01.000 to convey because emotion, they're going to be there, but how you translate 698 00:50:01.079 --> 00:50:06.840 it is everything. If you enjoyed this podcast, leaving a positive review on 699 00:50:06.920 --> 00:50:09.679 Apple Podcasts and Spotify would mean the world to me. It really helps the 700 00:50:09.679 --> 00:50:15.400 podcast grow and it helps us reach more positive bitches. If you have a 701 00:50:15.480 --> 00:50:19.000 suggestion for this podcast, do you m me on Instagram. You can either 702 00:50:19.119 --> 00:50:22.679 leave an audio message for me and just say this is for the podcast, 703 00:50:22.800 --> 00:50:28.039 or you can write it out of course and I will see you positive bitches 704 00:50:28.039 --> 00:50:31.719 in the next one. As always, sparkle in Me honors the sparkle in 705 00:50:31.800 --> 00:51:04.159 You can't susk me, can'tsk me