Not sorry. What's up, Positive Bitches? How are we doing today?
If you're hearing this episode, you are meant to be here, So keep
listening on that Bitches Positive podcast. Sometimes we will laugh. Other times,
baby Girl, we're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling like
our most empowered positive bitch self. That is positive babe and total connection with
her self. We're all about unbecoming who we are not so we can fully
step into and embody exactly who we came here to be. Today's podcast episode
actually comes from one of you Positive bitches, and it's all about jealousy.
A quick note on jealousy versus envy. Envy is when we want what someone
else has. When I'm envious of someone else, it's because I want either
their car, or their house or spouse, or maybe even their body.
Envy is when we want something we don't already have versus jealousy. What jealousy
actually means is we feel threatened that someone else wants what we have. It's
the other side of the coin of envy. So when I'm feeling jealous,
it might be because I already have a boyfriend, but I feel like he's
flirting with someone else or someone's trying to flirt with him. Today, we're
really going to focus on jealousy when we are nervous or worried or afraid someone's
going to try to take from us something that we already have. If you
want to learn more about envy and jealousy and how to transmute these emotions.
Like I said, we're going to talk about jealousy today, but we've also
done an episode on envy and jealousy that I will link down in the show
notes, So maybe after this episode you can listen to that one to get
some more information on env before we get into it today. A couple of
announcements if you're not yet following me on Instagram at vibe in with cc v
I b I n with ci Ci. I will put this link down on
the show notes, but be sure to follow me there where you can get
daily golden sparkling nuggets of advice on how to release codependency, become your most
magnetic self, and so much more. I've recently have been talking to all
of the girlies in the twenty one day break Up glow Up Challenge, and
the feedback is just so transformative it makes me cry almost every time I read
a comment from the twenty one day Breakup Globe Challenge. If you're going through
any sort of transition or heartbreak, or you're just not being able to hold
onto these situation chips, join the twenty one day Breakup Globe Challenge. I
create did this not for me, but for you. If you want to
learn how to balance your sacred chakra, if you want to learn how to
take your power back, if you want to learn how to date yourself and
fully develop and glow up the twenty one day break Up Glob Challenges for you.
There's twenty one days of video and audio lessons, downloadable worksheets, meditations,
and even a private Facebook group chat where you can go for support.
And I've been reading all the messages in there as well, and they're just
so beautiful because in that chat there's positive bitches helping one another out. So
if you're going through any sort of breakup transition, join the twenty one day
break Up glob Challenge. I will be your built in breakup BFF and help
you through the process. I've been there before, and I know how to
get out. If you're dating and you keep getting ghosted or all of your
relationships just end up going nowhere. Then the Calling your Power Back Workbook is
going to be very, very very beneficial for you. This Calling your Power
Back Workbook, it's just eleven dollars. It's a digital download, and it
will help you understand the subtle energies behind dating and why your results keep ending
up with ghosting. Also, if you want to learn how to balance your
masculine and your feminine energy, you want to really develop your dark divine feminine.
I also have a Healing your Divine Feminine workbook as well. Again,
all of these links will be in my description in the show notes down below.
Without further ado, let's get into today's episode. Sidebar, this has
nothing to do with today's episode, but I just think this is so fucking
funny that this happened. So the other day I was feeling so bloated,
and it's because of what I ate for dinner. It was, I guess,
just a bigger meal and I had bubbles, I had kombucha, So
my stomach was bloated because yeah, I just put food in it, and
that's what fucking happens. And I literally was looking at her house when I
was like, I feel so blow because we were about to go out,
and he kept saying like, no, CC, you don't look bloated,
you don't look bloated, and I'm like, don't fuck you lie to me.
I can see my own stomach. I'm not stupid. I can obviously
see that my stomach is more bloated than usual. And then he goes,
okay, okay, okay, you look natural. I just thought that was
so fucking funny. I literally couldn't even be upset that I felt bloated anymore
because I was just hysterically laughing. I was like, I look fucking natural.
I look natural. Is at your way of telling me that I do
look bloaded? And then I was like, ras, you know what,
you're not gonna be able to win this one. Like whether you agree with
me or you're trying to tell me I look perfect, I'm not gonna have
it. So let's just take a beat here. But I just thought that
was so funny because he was just trying to figure out, like, Okay,
what do I say, keep saying she looks perfect, She's not having
that. I can say she looks natural, And you know what, it
was fucking true. It did look natural. My stomach looked like a natural
human stomach that just ate and had kimbucha. But I just thought that was
so funny, and literally in the moment, I was like, I'm telling
my podcast, I'm telling my podcast about this because this is so funny,
and so I had to tell you. But yeah, So apparently after komboocha
and this meal, I didn't look bloated. I look natural. Okay,
PSI, anyway, let's get into this this episode. So we have a
message from a positive bitch. By the way, if you ever want to
suggest a topic for this podcast, you can leave me a voice note in
my DMS, so send that over or you can just type it out,
but DM me on Instagram to suggest what you want to hear. She says,
hi CC Hello, Hello, Hello. First of all, i just
want to send you the biggest hug. I'm forever grateful I found you.
Your reels and podcasts helped me more than I could possibly say. Oh,
I'm so happy. I've downloaded the Calling Your Power backwork book and I've also
just joined the twenty one day Breakup glow Up Challenge and can't wait to start
digging into the gold and diamonds. Today are a girl. Thank you for
joining the challenge and I'm super excited for you. By the way, I'd
also like to suggest a topic for your next podcast, which is how to
handle jealousy best like one our significant others being too friendly with other people or
even leave us for other people, and when we know that our ex we
pretty much are still in love with or at least our egos so as we
are is moving on with other people. I had difficult times navigating jealousy even
from when I was a kid, and I really want to know how to
handle that emotion in a much better way and not be controlled by it.
Thank you so much, Angel, I hope this message finds you well.
I'm sending you so much love to this beautiful, positive bitch, and I'm
super excited to jump into today's podcast because i think it's something that we really
do need guidance on. When we feel jealousy, this emotion is trying to
communicate something to us, and it's our job to not be controlled by the
emotion but translate it correctly so we can create a life that really is in
alignment with our highest self. So when we feel an emotion of jealousy,
one of two things possible three things are happening. The first option is you're
feeling jealousy because your person is literally crossing one of your boundaries. Your boyfriend
is flirting with the waitress, or your friend is trying to hit on your
boyfriend. When you're feeling this emotion, it can be possible that your body
is trying to communicate to you, Hey, this boundary is being crossed and
this isn't okay. That's the first thing we need to understand about jealousy,
not to let it control us, but for us to actually listen to it
when we're feeling jealousy because something is actually happening. I think a lot of
us try to resist it because we think, no, I can't be jealous.
I can't be jealous. Yeah, you fucking can be if something is
going awry, if something is happening, you actually need to listen to that
emotion to understand what to do next in that given circumstance. So if you're
feeling jealous, we need to first ask ourselves, Wait a second, is
there truth in the circumstance with this emotion? What is this emotion trying to
convey to me? Is there something going on? In my circumstances that you
know what, does fucking cross a boundary and isn't okay with me? The
jealousy is trying to put you back on a path of highest vibrational alignment.
And if you're on a path right now where your boyfriend flirts with every single
person you ever see at the bar, then that's not a path that's going
to be in highest vibrational alignment with you. So let's dig into this first.
If you feel like your partners too friendly with other people, always flirting
with other people, and you're literally seeing physical evidence, there needs to be
some sort of conversation about bunduries, standards, what is and is not allowed.
You need to speak up for yourself because I always say other people cannot
read our mind. You might be hoping for and wishing for certain things that
you pray that your significant other will do, but if you never tell them,
how are they supposed to meet that need of yours? They can't read
your mind. If this is becoming a problem, we need to have a
conversation. There needs to be some sort of conversation of hey, when is
a good time for us to sit down and talk. There's a couple of
things that have been on my mind. You don't want to try to talk
to them during a movie. You don't want to try to talk to them
when they're playing their little video game. You don't want to talk to them
when they're at work. You need to find a time that works for both
of you. A Friday night to Saturday morning where you're just sitting down,
it's just you two. You're in your home, or maybe over a coffee
or a meal at a restaurant, and you have this conversation of Hey,
I, in my perception, keep seeing X, Y and Z unfolding,
and it's making me really uncomfortable to be in this relationship. That's not how
I want my partner to treat me and or my relationship. I'll give you
an example years ago when me and Arousemo were dating and I did not understand
what codependency was. I didn't know what anxious attachment was. I didn't know
what any of that stuff was. So this was a while ago, but
I would literally watch his eyeline in the gym to see where it would go.
I was very hyper vigilant of where his eyes were, and at the
gym I happened to go to women wear really interesting clothes. A lot of
them are competitors for bodybuilding. And this one girl, this one time,
it was like she was wearing a thong over her leggings. I don't understand
and what was happening. But I saw Erasmo's eyes looking at her ass,
and now I understand. He could be like, what the fuck is that?
It was interesting outfit, But in my eyes at that time, I
was really insecure. At that time, I was like, he's checking out
her as she did have an unbelievable butt. I mean, the girl worked
it out, honey, So in my eyes, I was like, he
is just staring at her butt. This was years ago. We were both
younger, we both had many things that we needed to heal, and it
was a different, different versions of us that we're in this relationship. But
anyway, I remember just watching this eyeline and my intern it's like, internally
I turned into the Hulk. The anger I felt was just insane. I
felt so upset, not even sad and insecure. I was like, fuck
this that was my emotion and I needed to hear out that emotion because there's
sacred messages in that anger. There's sacred messages. In the jealousy, especially
when it's something we're noticing. We're feeling a lot, but only with this
one specific scenario or this one specific person. I ended up having to have
a conversation with him. I was like, Rasmall, I have perceived that
you were staring at this girl's ass. And I will say, this was
something that wasn't a one time thing. I felt like I've noticed it before,
and that's why I brought it up. It wasn't the first time that
I felt this way, And I said, you know, I know I'm
not yet that evolved. I know I'm dealing with some of my own insecurities
here and I'll work on that, but I need you to work on it
too if we're going to be together, because I'm not willing to handle me
feeling like you have a wandering eye. It's not going to work for me.
And I'm not going to demand you to only look at me. But
I'm too concerns I have what i'm personally comfortable with in a relationship. This
is a green flag when you bring something to someone and you're like, hey,
this needs to stop. He was completely receptive to it. He was
like, you know what, I think you're right. This is something I'm
absolutely going to work on. I'm going to change it immediately. He's like,
sometimes I don't, you know, realize what I'm looking at, and
I can understand it. In the gym, your eye is just like all
over the place. You also just look forward when you're working out. It's
really weird to have eye contact in the gym sometimes because everyone's just looking in
a random direction. Anyway, it doesn't matter, but he took full responsibility.
He's like, no, you're right, I did do that, or
I didn't realize I was doing it here, but I definitely can see it
here. And I don't want you ever to feel like I have a wandering
eye because you're the person I want to be with. So he took full
responsibility. He said sorry for whatever, and I also was like, I'm
sorry if I'm also picking up on things that aren't there, because I also
know I need to work on something, but I need to know that you're
cognizant of what I'm feeling and you're willing to work on this, but so
am. I Like where neither of us are in this alone and we have
this conversation. It allowed us to really get closer. Conflict can bring you
closer when you're able to work through it. And the one thing that you
need to say that I feel has been such a game changer in my relationship
is simply to say, look at this point, I'm not mad about it,
but I'm really turned off. And that was the truth. Yeah,
I was mad in the moment because I'm like, what the fuck, But
afterwards I was like, I don't, I'm not mad, I'm just turned
off. Like I if you want to be a person who is a dog,
a dawg, a dog, then go be a dog, but not
in my yard hunting. Okay, I don't. I'm not into it.
I'm not into it. So if you want to go look women up and
down, and I've this is a thing. I've seen men in relationships look
me up and down while they're holding the hand of their girlfriend. Sorry.
If that's a new fear unlocked, my bad. But I've literally seen that
and it's disgusting to me. And I told that to Erasma. I was
like, when I see a man literally look me up and down while he's
holding the hand of his girlfriend, it's fucking vomit city, Okay, vomit
city. That's disgusting to me, gross not having it. And I'm sure
that person has wounds and fears and whatever the fuck, I don't care.
It's not my problem. Okay, it's not my business. I'm just on
the other end of this and I have a brain, so I'm going to
have my own conclusions. So it's vomit city to me, it's hashtag oo.
It's not for me, gross, not in my yard. Okay.
And this conversation really allowed us to grow so much closer than one another.
I feel like so many of us are just so afraid to create this kind
of conversation because we're afraid if I bring this up, is he gonna leave
me, gonna break up with me? What is he going to do?
And we have all these fears that we're going to be abandoned. We need
to stand up for ourselves. Speaking up for your needs is putting yourself on
the pedestal. Speaking up for your needs is the most liberating thing you can
do. If you're afraid to speak up for your needs, listen to me
now. Your needs can never be met if you do not speak up for
them. You are your own greatest advocate. If your partner your boyfriend is
being flirty with other people, side eyeing other people that bombastic side eye.
But it's all the fucking time you need to say something. You need to
speak up for yourself. Not when you're at a baseball game or I don't
know, ice skating. It needs to be when it's just you two sitting
down. You both have a clear mind and can have a fucking conversation,
and you need to say at this point, I'm not mad, but I'm
turned off. And if you want to go do that be my guest,
but it's not going to be with me. This is not a begging,
This is not needy, this is not crying. This is straight up.
This is what I require. If you can give it to me, great,
and if you can't, that's fine, but this just is not going
to work. You need to have so much confidence in yourself, so much
you know what it is, you know what it really is. After I
went through a breakup and I saw I could do life on my own,
I was like, WHOA, I'm never going to fear if anyone leaves my
life. And sometimes we need a reminder of how fucking powerful we are,
just as our own a little human self if you are starting to get codependent
on your partner, you're being hyper vigilant of your partner and you're forgetting your
own power. That is a sign you need some more alone time. And
trust me, I know, I know it's the last fucking thing that you
want. But you're forgetting who you are. And when we forget who we
are, we are even more needy of our partner to remind us of who
we are in relation to them, because we've lost our connection to ourself.
If you feel like you're so afraid to bring up a conversation, you're afraid
to speak your needs because you're fearing that they're going to leave, you,
understand you are the one abandoning yourself because you are abandoning your own needs,
your own wants, your own morals, your own values, your own self
worth. By not speaking up for what it is you truly need and in
abandoning yourself, what ends up happening is that other people start abandoning us too,
because we're losing our own point of view, We're losing our energy,
We're becoming depleted, and our in our world will always be reflected back to
us in our external world. If I'm constantly abandoning myself. That's going to
manifest as other people abandoning me too. Everything starts with you. Start speaking
up for yourself, because, baby girl, your life fucking depends on it.
Your relationships fucking depend on it. You depend on it. You are
your best friend, you are your biggest advocate, are your own angel.
Start acting like it, Start acting like it. Walk into that conversation like
God himself sent you on this exact mission, and honestly he fucking did.
Okay, he did. Because God doesn't want you getting treated like shit,
not getting treated as you are truly deserving to be treated. God doesn't want
to see you crying every single night. The pain has to start to outweigh
the pleasure for us to make a move most of the time, because if
you think about it, when do we make a change, Not when we're
all happy and jolly. We make changes when we can't take it anymore,
when the pain has started to weigh out the pleasure. And if you were
coming home every single night and feeling terrible about yourself because your boyfriend's flirting with
everyone and their fucking mother, then you need to say something again. Why
Because your life fucking depends on it. Your happiness depends on it, and
your happiness is your responsibility. Your responsibility is not to make your partner happy.
It's to make sure you're good. Okay, You're partner comes second to
you. If you're following apart, everything else in your life will fall apart.
Because you are the foundation. You are the foundation of everything, of
your relationships, of your career, of your job, of your hobbies,
of your passions. You are the foundation. If you start to crack,
if the foundation starts to crack, guess what else is going to crack.
It's everything, girl, is everything is everything. So this is just your
friendly, cute little reminder that you need to speak up for yourself. And
the funny thing is when you speak up for yourself, one of two things
are going to happen. I should say one of three things. One is
that they're going to be like a asthma. They're gonna be like, you
know what, I fucked up. I have some growing up to do.
I need to change how I'm acting in order to keep you. I have
you, I got you, but I need to keep you so I fully
hear you. And I'm gonna change, and I'm gonna do what I need
to do. It can be like that, or it can be like Okay,
I hear what you're saying, and then they make no change, and
then that's going to cause problems because really what's going to happen is over time,
you're just going to become more and more and more turned off, and
eventually you'll just leave, or you'll stay and be in hell. Or the
third option is they completely gaslight you say that's not true and that you're crazy.
And when that happens, we need to take a seat. We need
to take a beat, We need to take a breath, and we need
to figure out, Okay, what the fuck is going on? Because I'm
seeing a world in which I am constantly seeing him flirting with other girls or
looking at other girls, and he's seeing a world in which that never happens.
How are we both seeing a completely different reality? How the fuck is
that possible? So what do we do when it's like this? We need
to do some investigation. Something that this positive bitch said that I thought was
very interesting is she said that, you know, this is something she's been
dealing with her whole entire life. If jealousy is not something you've been dealing
with your whole entire life. And you're like, no, no, no,
I've literally never felt jealous in my life. This is only happening when
you're literally physically talking to other girls, which is all the time, and
you're dming them and you're commenting on their photos and you're liking their photos when
they're half naked and you don't even know them. Okay, that gives you
your evidence right there. Don't guesslight yourself. Instead, just find fucking evidence
of whatever it is you need to clear your mind. That's it. Don't
gaslight yourself. If he wants to gaslight you, if he wants to say
all this shit, okay, go off, sir. Guess what the fuck
is going to happen. You're going to get the evidence you need and you're
going to leave. You're going to leave him, and you're going to create
a space for someone who will respect you, someone who has the capability of
respecting you and seeing your worth. That's what you're going to do. So
if they can't handle their own truth and you're like no, no, I
literally have receipts. No no. All of your friends and my friends know
that you're like this, and we all talk about it. No, I
literally have a woman in my DM saying you're flirting with her or doing whatever.
There's evidence here. If there's that evidence, girl, you know what
to do. Okay, that's all you need. You pop lock and get
out of there. Okay, that's what you do now. Sometimes we don't
have physical evidence, but it is this gut feeling. That's something you need
to meditate on. That is something again, you need more information. If
you don't have enough information, it gives us a lot of anxiety because we
don't know what you do. So if you're having a gut feeling but you
don't have receipts or you don't have your friends and his friends being like no,
he literally is flirting with everyone all the time. If you don't have
that, you need to meditate on it. You need to sit down for
ten to fifteen minutes, put on a frequency from YouTube, and have a
question at hand. What is your question? Maybe it's is my perception of
my past clouding my present? Or is my partner really acting in ways that
are not right to me? Or is it in my own head? Because
sometimes yeah, we are in our own head when it's something we've been seeing
our whole entire life. But other times, no, they literally are just
straight up disrespecting you, and it's up to us to get to the bottom
of this. So if it is a gut feeling and there's no evidence,
sit on it, journal about it, have a question in mind, is
this jealousy? Having some truth in reality, and meditate on it, see
what images you see in your mind or what feelings you get, and allow
that to show you and tell you the information that you need to know.
Regardless if it's physical evidence or spiritual evidence, you do need some sort of
information. So first things first, if you confront them and they're like,
you know what, Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm gonna change. Great.
If you confront them and they say, yeah, I'm going to change,
but then never do. I'll just tell you right now, what's going to
happen over time is you'll be so turned off that you're just gonna want to
leave. So you'll be fine. And the third option is a gas like
you. And when that happens or I won't even say guess like, let's
just say they deny it or it's outside their awareness, or yeah, maybe
they do gaess like you. If that's the last sort of circumstance. They're
basically just saying, no, you're wrong. You need to gather information.
Is a physical information maybe, or it's spiritual, but either way you need
more. Now let's say it's none of those, and you're like, no,
you know, this is something I've been dealing with my whole entire life,
and I have no freaking clue how to not be controlled by this emotion,
because whether it's with my relationships or my friends, I'm just oh ways
feeling this jealousy. When it came to jealousy for me, I realized I
would feel jealous when I didn't feel confident in myself. I would feel jealous
when I felt shitty about myself. So when I was eating bad foods,
when I wasn't moving my body, when I wasn't having a passion or a
purpose, I would get really jealous all the time. Why because Erasma was
on my platform. I was going to say, Rosma was on my sort
of a platform, my pedestal, and I wasn't. So I was looking
up at Rosma like, oh my god, this is my shiny little ruby,
and if anyone tries to take my ruby, I'm going to freak out.
But what I needed to do was instead placed myself on the pedestal and
say what do I need to do to feel my best? And this is
the working on yourself part of jealousy. It's really hard to make me jealous
now because I feel like I'm a fucking prize. It's really hard to make
me jealous now because I feel like I'm on my own pedestal and you can't
compete with me because I'm not competing with you. It's really hard for you
to try to make me feel jealous now because I mean, what are you
going to try to do to me? I can't even think of something that
could happen because I'd be like, I literally don't care. I'm apprised,
And if you want to go do that, that's your loss. So how
do we get to this point? In my point of view, it's simple.
It's not always easy. Okay, some of the steps are hard,
but it is simple. It's eating healthy AKA putting foods into my body that
don't wreck my gut. Think about your vegas nerve that runs from your gut
to your brain, and if you have poor gut health, how are you
supposed to make serotonin? How's that serotonin supposed to get to your brain,
how are you supposed to feel good? Don't sleep on your fucking health.
Okay, these hormones, I mean, the fucking pills are trying to put
us on. I went to my guy in college just the other day and
they're trying to pop out birth control like it's fucking candy. And look,
I know some people are on birth control because they have extreme periods or you
know, whatever it may be. There's different health concerns. And if you're
in survival mode right now and you're like CC, I literally can't exist without
it because I'm doubled over in page twenty four seven. Whatever it may be,
I understand, but let me just tell you. You're treating the symptom
and not the root. You're treating the symptom and not the root. When
I was talking to my god to colleges, she was like, well,
you can just go on birth control. And I was like, I'm not
going on birth control, you lady, Like, stop telling me to go
on birth control. She said a three different times. I wasn't even complaining
about anything. I was talking about my period, just talking about it.
I'm like, I'm not asking for it and I've literally said no multiple times.
I don't know what you want for my life. And anyway, I
feel like they're just the popping it out like fucking candy. Like I said,
they really just want you on birth control. Just want every want on
birth control. Let me just tell you, it affects your hormones, It
affects your body. It treats symptoms and not the If you're having problems,
get a homeopathic doctor. If it's possible, Okay, start looking up online.
It's a first step. What are natural ways for me to heal cramps,
for me to do X, Y and Z, for me to figure
this shit out? Because treating the symptom, Trust me, I've tried it,
Okay, like a psychiatrists try to give me sleeping pills. She was
trying to treat the symptom, and that didn't help me heal. All I
did was go to sleep a little bit. Okay, fine, fine for
the time being. But most people when they get these sleeping pills, they
stay on them forever and they always just try to treat the symptom. Stop
with the fucking symptoms and look at the root. Because if you don't go
to the root, it's not going to allow you to actually heal from the
inside out. That's all I'm going to say. I'm not a doctor.
Okay, this is not medical advice. I'm just a girl on the internet
who's had some experiences with prescription pills because of certain things I've had to go
through, And I'm just gonna say it doesn't treat the root. It prolongs.
It work on your gut health because a lot of your happiness, your
little happy hormone chemicals, are created in your gut and they're carried throughout your
whole entire body. I believe it's nine of serotonin is created in your gut
and your vagus nerve mostly travels from your gut to your brain. Most people
think, oh, you know, most of our chemicals are made in our
brain and most of the information travels from our brain. It's actually the other
way around. So check in with what you're eating. And I'm not saying
you have to do any sort of you know, eating regimen. Just try
to do better. Like if you're drinking soda every day, try switching out
three of those sodas for some water. That's it, baby fucking steps.
I'm not a fan of trying to change your whole entire life overnight. I'm
a fan of baby steps. If you're at the grocery store and you see
the you know, the cucumber to you usually get. See if there's organic,
you know, yeas a little bit more expensive, which is fucking insane
that we have to pay more money for them not to put chemicals and shit
on it, But that's the world we live in right now. Anyway,
See if they're organic, just make these little baby steps, and over time
that's really going to affect how you feel. A lot of depression is when
we're not living in alignment with our higher self. And when we're not living
in alignment, it looks like eating shit, eating chemicals. Just it's these
foods that we think our food are literally not food. It's just chemicals placed
in a wrapper. Like a skittle is not food. That's literally chemicals put
together and we're just eating it. Anyway. A lot of this depression,
a lot of this insecurity, a lot of this jealousy comes and stems from
us not living in alignment with our truest, highest vibrational versions of ourselves.
So if we're eating like shit, we're creating hormones that aren't going to make
us feel good, and it also might have secondary effects of us breaking out.
I know when I have too much chocolate. Can I just know breakout's
going to happen because that's how my body reacts to it. I'm sensitive to
it, and that doesn't make me feel good. So the first thing I
did was I took responsibility over when I was putting into my mouth what foods
I was eating. I was like, Okay, I don't have to be
perfect, because nobody is. But maybe if I can just switch five of
my decisions a week to be something a little bit better over time, that's
going to really help me. So it's just baby steps. Eating better is
going to make you feel better. Second thing is movement. I don't care
what kind of movement you do. I don't care if you're doing belly dancing,
lacrosse, taking a walk, swimming, yoga, stretching, running the
peloton, the StairMaster, I don't care. It doesn't matter to me.
But when you move your body, you move out negative energy that has been
bubbling up within your vessel. If you've ever seen two dogs play fight and
then they run away from one another and shake out their bodies. Dogs instinctively
know to remove energy from the last circumstance that they were involved with. The
last encounter. We, however, get into a fight with our boyfriend,
get into a fight with our mom, getting into something with our coworker,
and we just absorb, absorb, absorb all this negative energy and our body
all day long, and it makes us feel like shit. So confidence key
number one is eat better and you're gonna feel better because your hormones are going
to be doing better, your chemicals are going to be doing better. And
you're also gonna feel better because maybe it's less of a breakout or less of
the bloating because you're allergic to the fucking food. So many of the foods
I was eating, I was straight up just sensitive to them and so they
would cause negative effects in my body. That's going to make you feel better
because you're gonna start to appreciate the foods you're putting into your body. You're
gonna start to feel lighter on your feet. Second thing is movement, moving
your body in any possible way. Even if you just get up and towerk
on your wall, I don't care. That's amazing. That's great. Getting
up and shaking out your body. This is releasing the energy from your past
experiences, releasing subconscious energy that you don't even know you're holding. Let it
out. Another thing that really helped me move away from insecurity and instead really
create confidence was finding a creative outlet and then working on that thing. Because
when I had nothing to do, I always say idle time as the devil's
playground. When I had nothing to do, all I would do would be
spiral about what Erasmo may be doing, who is he talking to? Who
is people learning my laaaa? Like just a goblin of depression. Honestly,
when I had nothing to do, it would cause me to think about very
negative things. So what did I do? I found a creative outlet.
Ooh I love piano, Oh I love singing, ooh I love this painting
situation, and I started to do that instead. So instead of me spiraling
about insecurities, I found something like singing, like songwriting, like piano.
It allowed me to do something with my time, my energy, and my
focus. But then I started to gain confidence as I got better and better
and better at it. If you think about it, let's say you're joining
the tennis team and you've never played tennis in your life, you're not going
to be the most confident on the core. But as you practice and you
get better, your confidence grows. So if we feel like we have nothing
to offer, we have no special talent or no hobby or no creative outlet,
that does reak havoc on our confidence because we're thinking, well, everyone
else has something, but not me. I'm not special. I'm not worthy
because I don't know how to do anything. Find something that you have a
little bit of interest in and just see where it goes. You don't have
to commit to it. Find something, whether it's pottery, I will Erasmo
scheduled us to have this pottery date. I think it was like last year
for Valentine's Day and we did pottery. I thought I'd be so into it,
I'm not. Okay. It was a fucking mess. He was better
at it than I was, and I was like, you know what,
this is not for me. This is definitely not for me. I don't
like a huge mess. And I needed to realize that. So if you
go and try something, you're like, oh my god, I thought I
would like that and I realized I don't. That's fine. That's fine,
that's a okay, you never have to do it again, but just start
experimenting with new possible paths to go down and see, you know, is
there something I want to explore? Maybe it's going to be something really special
to me, Maybe it's going to change my life. Finding these passions,
I always say, really does lead to your purpose because you're going to start
meeting similar minded people, so soulmate best friends and soulmate partners. Maybe you
never know, you're really going to start to find people who are in like
vibrational alignment with you. And that's going to also increase your confidence because now
you're creating a circle of people who feel good to you vibrationally. Another thing
is really understanding what it is you want your purpose to be. And you
might be thinking, CC, how can I want my purpose to be?
Something? Isn't it? I'm just given a purpose and that's that. I
don't see the world that way. I find that our purpose is really embedded
into, like I said before, our passions and our heart. I don't
think we're given a purpose that we fucking hate. Like I don't think my
purpose is to be a math teacher. I don't like the whole schooling system.
I don't really love that on all that jazz. I don't think that
would be my purpose because I'm not into it. I feel like my purpose
is helping people unbecome who they are not so they can fully become who they
are and use social media as a creative outlet to reach people and to really
guide people back home to themselves and be a trigger for a self awakening.
And I love what I do. I fucking love this. And that also
allows me to remove insecurity and gain confidence because I feel plugged into what I'm
doing every single day. When I was in school, I've said this before,
I was always good at school. I knew how to manifest good greeds
even though I didn't know I was manifesting. I knew how to study.
I have an amazing memory that one. That's why I was so good at
school, just because I wouldn't memorize a whole entire textbook and be done with
it. But what I've learned is that when I was in school, I
didn't have this career, this purpose fueling me, and I was good at
school. So yeah, I got a lot of confidence from just having good
grades. Again, I would feel less confident if I wasn't getting the good
grades, but because I did, I was like, yeah, well I
get good grades. I'm confident to raise my hand. I'm confident to speak
up. I'm confident to, you know, write this paper. I know
I'm going to do well. I'm confident to take this test because I put
action behind it. I studied, I manifested, But there was a missing
peace in that confidence of I hated what I was doing, Like there was
a lot of classes like, oh god, ap bio was just not fun
in Latin class. When I was in college, I took Latin and that
was a really painful experience. I don't wish that my worst enemy. But
when I was doing that, I had confidence that I would do well.
But I didn't have confidence in myself and other areas. I didn't feel like
a fully formed human. I felt like a robot in school doing what I
should be doing. So if you're in school or if you're graduated, I
don't care. You need something on the side. And having something on the
side is a luxury because a lot of us are like CC. I'm trying
to make ends meet. I have to work, and then I go to
school and maybe you're on a sport and you're like, I'm fucking exhausted by
the time I get home. That's okay. That doesn't mean you never have
time, though, to do things that you were interested in on the weekend,
on a Thursday, when you have a day off, take so much
responsibility over your time, Make time your best friend. Start carving out time
where you can start to see or volunteer or find out things that you might
be interested in. Because when you find not just a hobby, not just
a creative outlet, but something that you actually want to do with your life,
whether it's volunteering or creating a TikTok, it doesn't matter. When you
find that thing, there's something that unlocks within you that makes you feel so
fucking powerful. And when you feel so powerful, like I'm plugged in,
I'm plugged into who I am in my purpose, you don't care as much
about what other people are doing because you're constantly reminding yourself of your power and
how much of a prize you truly are. So of course you can do
things like affirmations, and you can buy cute workout clothes to make you feel
good, and those are great ways to feel better. But really, when
it comes down to it from me, it's simple. It's putting healthy foods
into my body aka not chemically induced fake food. It's moving my body some
sort of movement every single day. It's having my creative outlet. When I
do have those lower vibrational emotions instead of just spiraling, I go to the
piano and I release them. And it's having my career, my passion,
my purpose worked on. You don't have to have it completely drawn out,
you don't have to have it completely unraveled for you. If you're just trying
to figure out your purpose, it's not going to be. It never is,
but just open up yourself to chapter one of your purpose and just get
started. So what we're doing is instead of having idle time to just spiral
about our X or our partner or whoever it may be, we're taking time.
We're carving time out to work on ourselves, to work on our confidence.
And when we're working on our confidence, this is not going to allow
us to be so insecure about our partners because we're going to start realizing our
own worth, we're going to start realizing our own power. And now we're
able to do these things outside of the relationship. But when we have nothing
going on outside of the relationship, we do feel extra jealous, We do
feel extra and secure because the only thing we have going for us is the
fucking relationship. So if you're feeling like you have this jealousy from when the
time you were a child to now, we need to work on your self
concept akay, your self confidence, your vision of yourself and who you think
you are, because that is the root of all these external circumstances happening.
When I thought that Erasma was looking at other women or whatever it may be,
and sometimes, like I said, he was, that was a mirror
reflection of my own self doubt and my own seeds of unworthiness. I thought
that they were better than me, those women because they were muscle mommies and
I wasn't yet, and so that was a physical manifestation of that. But
once we had that conversation and I said, look, I'm not fully evolved,
neither of you. This is something we need to work on. Are
you willing to work on it with me? And he says yes, and
I say yes, that's a commitment for both of you to work on being
your best self because Honestly, if I was to allow a Rasma to just
look at everyone's ass all the time, that's not me pushing him to grow
and become his best self. That's me letting him fall to the wayside and
me literally going to be just bent over with misery and constantly spiraling. I
knew that this is something that has to change. Of course it does.
That's not fucking okay. And I think that when you go from I started
dating as when I was eighteen and we've been together for over six years now,
when you go from being really young together to growing into adults, there's
going to be a lot of things that you had to be like, hey,
this isn't okay. Like you're seriously dating me, this is not okay.
So it's going to be okay if you have to have those conversations,
it's going to be okay. When you meet a new roadblock and you're like,
oh no, this contrast is leading me to clarify what I do and
do not want in a relationship, that's okay. Those things are meant to
be there so you can grow deeper in love with yourself and in this relationship.
But if you never bring it up you're not allowing yourself to fully step
into who you truly are. So to put this in a nutshell, if
you're having these feelings of jealousy, first off, you need to say something.
You need to speak up for yourself. If you're seeing someone do something
to you that you're feeling okay, No, no, no, this is
not okay. That feeling of jealousy is not to control you. It's trying
to convey a message. And if you look and there's evidence, physical,
straight in your face evidence, you have to say something. Now. Sometimes
that emotion of jealousy is being triggered, but we're translating it in the wrong
way. And that's when we're picking up on things that aren't actually there.
That's when our past is still controlling our present and we're punishing people in our
present for things that happened in our past. When that happens, that feeling
of jealousy, don't let it control you. That's not what it's meant to
be there for. It's coming up because it's trying to be released. And
when you just allow yourself to be like, you know what, I just
need to take a moment. I just need to take a beat and allow
this motion to come out of me. Whether I want to scream into a
pillow or move my body or do something creative, I'm just going to allow
this emotion to release out of my body so it can leave. Every single
time and emotion is triggered, it is inviting you to release it into higher
vibrational energy. So sometimes when we're feeling jealousy, we're not translating it correctly.
It's not even about the other person. It's about how we feel about
ourselves. But the more you work on yourself, your healthy food choices,
you man a creative outlet, and your passion, your purpose, the less
those feelings of jealousy are going to come up because you're focused on a different
vibration. It's funny, you know, they say, don't fight fire with
fire because it's just going to cause more fire. Don't try to fight your
jealousy instead of release it and refocus. Release it through movement or through screaming
into a pillow, or through writing it out in a journal, and then
refocus on how you can become more confident in who you are, because that
confidence is going to get you into doors you could have never even dreamed about.
Confidence will carry you when you feel like you have nothing else going on.
And that's really what it comes down to. When you're confident in yourself
and you see someone who maybe isn't a highest vibrational match for you because you
do feel like they're a little flirty with everyone else, it's going to stop
being such a I can't believe you would do this to me. You're hurting
my feelings, and it's going to be I'm literally just turned off. This
is vomit city. But we can't get to that point if we feel like
we're shitty mcshitterson and then other person's on our pedestal. But when we start
putting ourselves on the pedestal, we no longer see their flirtiness with someone else
as something to be jealous of, but we see it as a turn off,
and we easily remove ourselves from the situation. And just in case I
wasn't clear, someone being flirty with other people while you're in a relationship,
that's not okay. In case that wasn't clear, Just in case, that's
never okay. So you either speak up about it if it's really happening,
if you're seeing it happen. I even say even if you're not sure if
it's really happening, and you're like, am I making this up? There's
nothing wrong with just conveying how you're feeling. I do that all the time
with a raspal I'll say, you know, I know this is more a
me thing, but I'm just lately, I'm really feeling like X Y and
Z, just because he's my partner and he's been with me through literally everything,
and when you are able to be vulnerable, he's a very loving person
and that allows me to see, oh, this is someone I can go
through life with. But if you're being vulnerable with your partner and you're saying,
you know, I'm not sure if this is really happening, but I'm
really feeling like X Y and Z and they're like, fuck you, you're
crazy. That is just information you need to know. That's not someone you
want to be with anyway. So regardless if you're like, I think this
is really happening or I'm not sure, there's nothing wrong with expressing how you're
feeling, and you should absolutely fucking do it. And if you don't have
any evidence, if it is from your past and you don't even have a
spiritual evidence where you're like, no, I'm pretty sure this is just in
my mind. I meditated about it and there's literally nothing that I'm feeling they're
doing wrong. Then that's when we know, Okay, I need to work
on my own self confidence. I hope this episode has helped you not be
controlled by your jealousy but instead listen to it and understand the message is trying
to convey because emotion, they're going to be there, but how you translate
it is everything. If you enjoyed this podcast, leaving a positive review on
Apple Podcasts and Spotify would mean the world to me. It really helps the
podcast grow and it helps us reach more positive bitches. If you have a
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in the next one. As always, sparkle in Me honors the sparkle in
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