Hi everyone, and welcome back to the podcast episode. My name is Lisha
Gogin, the host of the Globe Secrets podcast. Why help you expand your
mind and become more self aware so that you can glow up into the best
version of yourself? Hello, how are we doing well? If I were
to answer that question, I am doing a lot better than I did yesterday.
Yesterday, guys, I had a little bit of a mental breakdown.
And the reason why I'm telling you guys this is because it helped me remind
myself to forgive myself more. And I want to talk about forgiveness in today's
episode, okay, because I know a lot of you guys need to hear
this message. A lot of you guys had asked me on the podcast Instagram
to talk about forgiveness, So we're going to talk about it. Okay.
So recently in my life, there has been a lot of things moving,
and with change comes the important sometimes of being strong, being in a good
mindset, holding myself together, really just persisting in a new direction. I
know things are changing, I know I'm evolving. It requires me to be
strong and all of that. We've been talking about that quite a bit in
the podcast. So I've always been somebody who, you know, when it's
not that it's tough times, but when things are presenting in my world and
they're shaking me up a little bit, I'm like, Okay, I got
to get on my routines. I gotta get my mind right. I'm going
to use my logic here. I'm going to trust that things are happening.
I'm gonna, you know, be strong. It's what I do, is
what I do best, the same way a lot of you guys, you
guys are very much so like me. So I was doing that. I
was doing really good with responding to a certain circumstance in my life that has
been happening as much as I could in terms of still being able to feel
my feelings and letting myself you know, all of the ranges of emotions.
But at the end of the day, coming back to like, you've got
this being strong persisting through my days. You know, I was doing good,
and then yesterday morning, waking up doing my general practice. My general
practice is something that really just makes me feel safe. It makes me enjoy
my safe space talking to myself in a beautiful, loving way, the same
way I have always needed my mom to speak words of affirmation into me,
Like, you know, when you're like scared, or you're getting bullied at
school, or things are just a mess in your life, who do you
want to call? You want to call a parent, You want to call
somebody who really just is gonna make you feel good. Sometimes we don't have
that, And sometimes I don't even call my mom for those things anymore.
And what I do instead is I call on myself. So that a lot
of times is my general practice. Like that's what I do, is like
I'm really just being there for myself, you know, in good times and
in hard times. So waking up in the morning, trying to do my
journal, practicing, trying to like think about situations in a different light,
also letting things go, really just pouring into myself. Last week's episode,
I told you guys, you know, when things aren't feeling good, come
back to yourself and just speak to yourself kindly and poorn that love that your
inner child really needs for you instead of trying to even look at situations in
a different light, like let things go, detach from things that are annoying
you right now or distressing you. And that's what I was doing but even
that it wasn't hitting Like even that, I was likeugh, I still didn't
feel really good. So I kept trying. I kept like whatever, and
I was just getting more frustrated with myself, more annoyed. Honestly, the
weather wasn't even the best, and I think for so long I was being
really strong that I definitely was just hitting a breaking point, and so I
went on a walk. I was just irritated. I was annoyed. I
was frustrated. I was getting in my head. And when you get frustrated,
and when you get in your head and you start to spiral, sometimes
like you just keep going into that spiral. You know, it's hard to
pull yourself out of it. Sometimes a lot of the times that I can
to a certain extent, but I was really going down there, and then
I tried to do more things that were trying to like help me in a
way, and I was triggering myself more, if I'm being honest. So
I got to a point where I, let's say, acted out of character
just a little bit, and I don't actually like whatever. I'll just like
leave that till the last thing I'm going to say, because I look at
it differently, but for how I usually deal with situations. I was like,
ugh, like I just did something that I knew wasn't probably it was
just gonna trigger me more, but I did it, Okay, So I
did the thing and then I instantly regretted it and I was really annoyed,
and like that triggered me more. And that was like I was so anxious.
I was anxious about the action that I took, but also oh,
I was really mad at myself because I was like, you know better,
like very much, so why aren't you being strong enough? And then I
had to go to hot yoga right after, which was though, literally this
is why my day was so hard, I swear to God, was because
not only did I completely spiral out of control and then I took action out
of that spiral, then I had to go into the hardest hot yoga class
ever with my feelings of anxiousness and just like wanting to run away and like
hide in a freaking cave and just deal with the situation because that's what I
do when I get really anxious sometimes, which is pretty rare, Like I
don't I'm not like usually like this. I used to be like this a
lot more when I was like always triggered about everything, but you know,
I'm still human. So anyways, went to hot yoga. It was like
the hardest thing, although in hindsight and even as I was going through the
class, I was like, you know what, this is like the hardest
feeling right now, but this is making me stronger, this is making me
more resilient. Every other second I was thinking about the situation, and I
was fine, and then I was not, and then I was fine,
and then I was not. Whatever. Finally we get out of the class
and I was like, oh my god, I did this. I did
this. It's one like one more minute like longer, and you're gonna feel
a little bit better, a little bit better by tonight. You're gonna be
a little bit okay. And that's what sometimes you have to do when you're
like spiraling or like things are just not okay, Like you genuinely have to
talk to your inner child every three seconds, being like baby, you're gonna
be okay, You're gonna be okay, You're gonna be okay. So I
get a hot yoga. I feel kind of okay, but I'm like still
like you know, annoyed, frustrated, spiraling, and then I have a
few clients that helped me, like over the time, whatever. And then
at the end of the night, I knew I wanted to obviously no longer
be in this spiral and be so anxious and mad at myself, and I
knew that I wasn't gonna just completely change everything and like tomorrow I was gonna
be a brand new person. But I did really want to address this,
and this is what I do when I'm going through hard times. I'm very
skilled in being able to deal with myself aka my inner child. And in
hindsight, I'm really happy that I went through this because this was something that
I needed to tap into more and I haven't done in a long time,
and I think it's a good practice to do, and that is forgiving myself.
So when I was done my work day, I was so sick and
tired of beating myself up for doing an action based off of being human,
okay, and I was just speaking to myself out loud. And you can
always like journal and stuff if you want to, but at this point,
this is when you know I'm really having a breakthrough, is when I'm speaking
out loud to myself, Like genuinely, I usually just journal, but when
I when I'm really going through things, it's like, literally just talk to
the freaking wall at this point, and I was like, heaven forbid.
It's almost like I was like yelling at somebody that wasn't me. I was
just like preaching to the choir. Heaven forbid I mess up, quote unquote
mess up. Heaven forbid, I take the wrong step, or I something
that ooh, maybe I shouldn't have said, or like I did something out
of the plan. Heaven forbid. I have human emotions, Okay, because
this is really what it came down to. I was being so freaking strong
and I was doing everything that I possibly could and using all the modalities that
I had, and I'm just like being as you know, strong whatever.
And the reality of it is is I still have emotions, I still have
feelings. I'm still ebbing and flowing through life. Okay. So no amount
of logic, no amount of right things to do on paper, is gonna
change that is gonna erase the fact that I feel the way that I feel.
This is not about excusing whatever action I did. It's not about that.
But it's just to be like, you know what, I am no
longer gonna be mad at myself for being human. I am not sorry for
being human. And that's what I kind of kept looping on, like like
an affirmation towards myself. Was like, heaven forbid, I am a freaking
human being. I'm sorry. I am not no longer being pissed at myself
for doing something based out of a triggered state, out of a place of
yeah, I wasn't able to be as strong as I really quote unquote wanted
to be. And then I tapped into this energy of you know what,
I'm so tired of. I'm so tired of being the person who is always
strong, who's always doing the right thing, who is always being perfect.
I'm tired. And this is not about oh okay, I want to be
the evil one. I want to screw up everything. I want to be
chaotic, I want to be the crazy one. I want to mess everything
up. It's not about that. But I am done being this person who
is telling herself that she can never make a mistake, that she always has
to be perfect. It doesn't even make sense. You can't possibly like even
the strongest of strong as people break down and I like to look at myself
as very like strong. I can get through a lot of things, like
I can really use logic to really keep me like stable through some of the
hardest things, which then create really good results in my life. But there
are just times where, you know what, the situation doesn't doesn't need you
to be strong like I want to. And I thought about this too.
I was like, I want to live in a life where, yeah,
you know what, sometimes my hands go up and I say I can't do
it. I want to be in a world where I'm supported even as I
quote unquote screw up. And if I think about this in terms of relationships
too, like wouldn't I want to be in a relationship where there's room for
error, there's room for forgiveness, there's room for okay, like you didn't
like say the right thing, or you did this or that, Like I
want to be in those type of relationships. But I can't even have that
relationship towards myself, So I'm looking outside of me for friendships, for romance
partners, for even like business, like everything right, content, everything,
you have a relationship towards everything, And like I would really want, you
know, somebody to forgive me, but I can't even forgive myself. That's
not gonna work. That's not gonna work. I'm just gonna end up creating
circumstances where you know it's gonna be high standards, you have to be perfect,
and I don't want to be like that. I'm not even like that
towards other people. I am somebody who's very forgiving. I'm somebody who unconditionally
loves people. I blame my mom for that, but I don't really blame
her because I think that that's like something I would never want to change about
myself. But it's like, where's that same unconditional love for yourself, Alicia?
And whatever you're currently going through in your life, I'm sure this advice
is probably like hitting right now, Like just think about do you really want
to keep going in this direction of always being strong? And I do think
when it comes to relationships, and we're not technically talking about relationships right now,
but like, don't you want to have somebody show up for you and
take care of you and for you to not always have it all together?
And you know, I think women we are always talking about feminine energy,
and I want a masculine man, and I want somebody to provide and protect
and take care of me. And I don't want to do this all alone.
Blah blah blah. You cry about wanting to do that, yet you
don't actually show up in the world like that. You don't even give people
the opportunity to be like, Okay, let me hold a bag for you,
like, let me be there for you, because you know why You're
like, no matter what, I'm going to be strong and I'm not saying
for you to drop the ball just so people can pick it up for you.
By the end of the day. It's like, sometimes you have to
drop the ball. Let it drop, you know what I mean. And
another reminder that I told myself is I didn't mess anything up. And I
think you really have to remind yourself of that when you know, whatever it
is, if it's relationship thing, a job thing, if it's working out,
eating healthy, like being on your shit, you gotta tell yourself you
didn't mess it up because that's going to allow you to be able to have
open conversations with people if you need to repair or rebuild that connection. It's
gonna allow you to get up and continue to move on. Like if you
look at the situation like, you messed everything up. What are you gonna
do? You're gonna keep making the wrong decision quote unquote wrong decision. You're
gonna, you know, probably spiral yourself into more self sabotage. If you
think that you mess up your diet, what are you gonna do? You're
gonna keep eating cake because you're like, oh my god, all my progress
is lost. So there does come a bit of reminder of like, you
didn't mess anything up, You're okay to make mistakes. Now, this really
brings it back to like some childhood stuff for a lot of us, and
I think for me too. It's like I always had this energy towards myself
of like you can't mess up, you cannot mess up, and if you
do, it means x Y, it means like you're gonna get in trouble.
And that's why I don't want to mess things up. You know,
like if I made a mistake or if I spoke out, or if I
you know, did the wrong thing, I was definitely afraid of my dad
yelling at me and getting me in trouble. So we carry that subconscious belief
like, oh my god, if I say this thing, or if I
do this, this person's gonna walk away. I'm gonna mess this up.
This person's not gonna love me at the end of the day. It really
does all come back to love. But you can't be afraid. Sometimes you
really just can't be afraid. You have to be willing, honestly sometimes to
be like, yeah, you know what, maybe that person's not gonna be
happy with me. You know what, If I be myself and I be
human and I have emotions and this person doesn't want to accept that, you
know what, then maybe that person's not for me. And again, it's
not about condoning you to be this chaotic mess and for you to be a
toxic person. But the truth is you are human. I don't care how
strong you want to say that you are. You have feelings, have emotions.
You can only be so strong for so long. Now, if you
struggle with forgiving yourself, I think something you also have to remind yourself of
is the things that you most likely did that you're deeming either self sabotage or
a mistake or something that you're like, oh, I shouldn't have done that.
Why did you most likely do that thing? For me? Let's bring
it back to the fact that I was completely so triggered and so anxious,
I was in fight or flight. I was honestly in a like a trauma
response that was like way younger than I ever am now, Like obviously,
like this was like a young part of me that was coming online to the
point where I literally like couldn't really like do much for her, Like I
really tried to do as much as I could. And so I'm not gonna
get mad. And I need you guys to stop getting mad at yourself for
the things that you do in survival mode. You do things for a reason.
I'm not condoning the reason, and we're not saying that it needs to
be right. We're not saying that everyone needs to accept that. But the
truth of the matter is, the things that you do in your life,
you're doing it because you're triggered. You're doing it because you feel unsafe,
You're doing it because you know you're trying to find safety, whatever it is.
Forgive yourself for the things that you have done in survival mode. And
I even think about this when it comes to eating, and I talk a
lot about this in my book The Ultimate Globe Guide. Link down below get
at your bookstores. I did a lot of self sabotaging behaviors in the form
of binge eating, emotional eating, and I used to get so pissed off
at myself. I used to be like, why do I keep failing?
Why do I keep going back to these things? They're not good for me?
And then I created this cycle of self hate, and then that led
me into more binge eating because I just thought that I always messed things up.
But I went to the root, and I tell you guys that in
my book that realistically what was going on is I was driven to eating unhealthy
foods, lots of candy all of my life because I felt unsafe in my
environment. And that's the things that kept me safe. I was learning to
emotionally regulate from a very young age around my father through things like candy,
through things like being quiet and staying small, through things like going into the
fawn response and telling like doing everything that he wanted me to do, even
though I was uncomfortable, even though you know, I had needs that needed
to be met, I put those to the side and I listened and I
was a good girl, because why I was in survival mode. And when
I really understood the reasons why I was doing the behaviors I was doing and
learning, oh my god, I just needed more support my young self.
She needed her mom there when she was afraid, and her mom wasn't there
because she was working. She needed certain things in her life, affirmations,
friends, family, more support, more, and she didn't need candy.
That wasn't going to be the thing. But guess what, that was the
only thing that I could find. So, you know what, thank you
to young Alicia for doing the best she could to keep me alive. And
I know sometimes it's hard for you to think like, okay, that's like
survival, but genuinely, eating candy for me was me surviving. That's all
I knew. When you're a child, when you pick up these behaviors,
that's literally subconsciously like what you're doing for yourself. And we get mad at
ourselves for doing these behaviors now in our adult lives because we're like, I
know better, blah blah blah. But guess what, there's a part of
you that does not know better. So when you are overwhelmed in your life,
you go back to how you know how to protect you the best way
possible. You go right into that fight or flight. And for you,
maybe it's eating candy, or if it's binge eating, or it's suppressing your
emotions, or maybe it's going right to text your ex or you know,
going to party or going to alcohol, drugs, whatever it is. That's
why we do the things we do. There's always a reason. So I
need you to forgive yourself or the things that you've done in survival mode.
And I think that this is important for you to understand as well, because
then you can understand why you keep doing certain things if you've done this over
and over again. For me personally, I knew I was just being way
too strong for way too long and I just needed to let it out and
I really allowed myself to and I forgave myself quite easily for that. Maybe
you have been doing things in your life that's like been You've been doing it,
and this is a great time for you to see. One you're doing
things that are survival okay, Why what do you need instead? What is
your inner child crying out for you to see? There's always something And again
I do talk about this in my book and I give you guys journal prompts
so you can kind of get closer to the root of your current self sabotaging
behavior and figuring out what happen maybe that you can put in place instead of
the current habits that you might be using for self sabotage. But at the
end of the day, I think the best thing that's helped me be able
to really forgive myself and like let go and move on so that I can
continue to level up in my life is really seeing like everyone's acting out of
their own survival. Everyone's trying to stay safe. We all have habits unfortunately
that are keeping us safe even though they're actually not because they're unhealthy or they're
you know, they're causing a little bit of chaos, or maybe I shouldn't
have said that. Whatever it all is rooted back to something, and you
need to understand that so that you can actually move forward. Now, another
thing that can help you forgive yourself is to potentially apologize. And what I
mean potentially is sometimes you there's not like you don't need to apologize for something
because maybe like you didn't like actually do something to somebody. For me and
my personal like situation that had happened, I didn't like hurt anyone like I
didn't actually like there was no I don't need to apologize for anything that I
did. It was more I was just mad at myself because I had this
standard of how I should have acted and I didn't. So it was more
just apologizing to myself, Like genuinely, I apologize to myself for even telling
myself honestly that I have to be so strong. But just like whatever.
So if you have done something though, and you know, maybe you're not
proud of it or you know, like it depends obviously, like my situation
was, you know, it was manageable. But I understand that there's things
in your life and I can think about a lot of things in my life
too where I was not proud of doing what I did. And there are
people who live their lives in complete regret and hold a lot of shame for
the things that they have done, and I understand it's really really hard.
But this is what I'll say. This is what I'll say from somebody who's
been really hurt by a parent who's done things that also really regrets. And
this has helped my parent, So maybe this will help you. And not
everyone's going to respond the same way. But I think this is still helpful.
At some point you have to release the shame and the guilt that you
hold based off of like what it is that you did, because at the
end of the day, you know, you're never gonna like really not,
you're never, but you're not gonna thrive in your life when you're constantly holding
shame, okay, And the best thing that you can do, and the
only thing that you can really do is try. And I don't mean try
in terms of trying to apologize, to get somebody to see it your way
and to forgive you and to come back to you and to like accept everything.
But sometimes you're uote unquote mistakes or you're whatever happened does require some level
of accountability. So if you need to take accountability, do it. And
this is not to try and get a response from someone else, because you
cannot be tied to what that person is going to respond to. You know,
maybe that they're still hurt, maybe they don't like it, maybe they're
still defensive, so they might even throw it back on you and be like,
no, you should feel worse about yourself. But I want you to
release that shame and that guilt because you deserve it and if you have to
apologize and bringing it back to my circumstance of being really hurt by, you
know, someone in my life, I've been hurt by a lot of people,
and I'm sure I've hurt a lot of people as well. But what
has helped me And I'm not like everyone, so I might not be the
person that's gonna be the same as who you're gonna apologize to. But what
really helped me be able to heal my relationship with my parents is her coming
to me and apologizing and owning things. And it took a while, Like
it didn't you know, you have to build trust and you have to whatever.
But God, did it really really help me to see that my feelings
were not invalidate, you know, like I wasn't crazy for feeling like this,
Like I really felt the love, and I really felt the shame,
the guilt, the regret that my parent has still for some of the things
that I've had to go through. And now I'm a very very mature person
and I really understand that people just do things because they're hurting. So this
is why I'm saying, like some people are not going to really like understand
your apology or like really like be warm, because you know, they have
their own things and it's their own thing, like they don't need to take
that apology if that's on them. But for me, the reason why I
can really let somebody apologize is because I genuinely like I I understand, so
regardless, I do think it is helpful for you and that person. If
you need to to be a mature adult send a message. However you need
to make a call, and it's very much so. I am so sorry
for the things I recognize, the things that I didn't like, the way
that I showed up, I didn't whatever. I'm working on these things X,
Y and Z. I'm not expecting you to understand to accept it to
anything. I just need you to know that genuinely I am sorry, and
you're only going to be apologizing though if you really need it, don't be
saying these things if you just want some sort of result. That's when I
sometimes think, I'm like, I don't really know if that's like a true
apology, but I think that once you learn how to forgive yourself and understand,
like, wow, you know, I got to give myself more compassion
for the things that I've done, you're better able to be able to extend
that and face that. But when you're carrying the shame and you're hating yourself
for things, it's no wonder sometimes that you can't show up. And I
will say this for anyone who is currently waiting for an apology for someone else
because you know they did you dirty, you know that they're on the wrong,
and you're like, wow, it really hurts that they're not apologizing to
me, like it would help me so much. Understand, if you're not
getting an apology, most likely it's because that person's living with a lot of
shame and guilt. And I know that doesn't make everything good because you still
would love the apology, But I really think that that helps you on times
where you do not get that closure, because I understand some people don't get
that closure. And the way that I create closure for myself is understanding that
hurt people hurt people. This is not condoning it, this is not accepting
it. It's just unfortunately, it is what it is. So if I'm
not getting something, I'm going to tell myself, you know what, this
person's still hurting. Even if you want to believe that this person is so
happy in their life, and oh, but they're over here doing this and
don't seem like they're remorseful. You don't know a thing deep down that they're
holding. And the reason why I'm saying that is because I've held it myself,
and I've been around people who've really deeply held it. You really do
not know what is going on, Okay, So hopefully that can help in
terms of sending an apology be an adult if you have to, Like that
might be a part of you forgiving yourself if you need to, and also
maybe creating closure for yourself if you're not getting it right now. And my
last reminder would be this, whether you did something to the point where you
have to apologize to someone or you didn't like me like, I don't have
to apologize, really, whatever it is, understand that you are working on
years of limiting beliefs, changing, evolving, getting out of patterns, healing
from trauma. At the end of the day, Okay, so you are
not going to have perfect days. You're just not. And I know so
bad you want to, and I know you get mad at yourself sometimes when
you're like, oh, I didn't wake up and have my morning routine perfectly,
or I didn't go to the gym and I had this bad, crappy
mental health day, or I acted out of this way and I should have
been stronger. I get it. But the end of the day, you
are working on yourself. There are gonna be days where you just your self
concept's not perfect, you don't have all the confidence in the world. You
break down even though you logically shouldn't be breaking down right now, X Y
and Z. Remind yourself of that, and that's what I had to remind
myself of too, And that's what allowed me to be like, you know
what, Heaven forbid, I'm a freaking normal human being who's you know,
working on herself every single day and getting up and all of this kind of
stuff. I'm taking responsibility in my life. I'm doing everything that I possibly
can do. Okay, There's just gonna be days where it's not perfect.
You are trying to literally change who you are as a person. You're trying
to be a better person. You're trying to respond to things in better ways.
You're trying to grow, You're trying to be more mature. You know,
you're trying not to be so anxious all the time, take care of
yourself more because you haven't been. You're trying to do all of these things,
it's inevitable that you're going to slip up. It's inevitable that you're going
to fall down and like, oh shit, Like that was not what I
was meant to do like that, And I think it's really important because that,
really, that perspective really allows you to continue to get back up,
right because at the end of the day, we do have to get back
up. We are people who want to create our own dream life. We
want to have great relationships, we want to have great X, Y and
Z. And that led me to today, I feel so much better than
I did last night. And honestly, I knew that I needed to go
through all of that because one, what a great message to share to you
guys. But two, that really was a piece of the puzzle that I
needed in order to become the person that I am trying to become in my
own life right now. And I talk about this all the time, and
nobody wants to hear it when you're going through it, because it's like,
I don't want this fucking piece Thank you like, just give me the puzzle
done. But if you are trying to be the best version of yourself,
you want that dream house, dream car, dream job, dream friendship,
romantic partnership, everything, It's literally gonna require you to be more loving to
yourself, to be more kind to yourself, to learn that you're gonna be
safe even when you mess up. It's just gonna require you to do that.
It really is at the end of the day. And sometimes you were
trying to be that person or trying to get to that person by being the
old version of us who is a perfectionist and who never lets herself cry or
never lets yourself like be a human being, And it just doesn't even make
sense. So when it comes to forgiving yourself, it's gonna take some time,
depending on whatever it is that you're currently going through. Give yourself grace,
give yourself time. You did not miss anything up, Okay. I
just want to like reiterate that, because that was like the message that like
I really needed to hear, is like, you didn't mess anything up,
okay, And during this moment, focus on yourself. You are your number
one priority. Sometimes when we think that we've messed up or we're not doing
good enough. We really like run away from ourselves, and actually what we
need is to come so much more closer to ourselves, Like we need to
give ourselves a big hug. We need to speak words of affirmation into us.
We need to remind ourselves we do not need to be perfect. Nothing
in life requires us to be perfect. That is just an illusion. We
don't need to and at the end of the day, just come inwards.
It's not about running away from the situation and hiding and being like, oh,
I'm so ashamed, and like distancing yourself from people. Whatever. If
you have to say story, you have to say sorry this that detach from
the situation, whatever it is for a moment, pour into yourself, build
yourself back up, because right now you're probably feeling a little bit crappy about
yourself. Like I'm not gonna lie like, did I feel the best about
myself like the past like day and a half. No, So I knew
what I needed to do after I realized, heaven forbid, I'm a freaking
human being. I'm going to forgive myself. I'm gonna like let myself like
be a normal human being. I was like, Okay, I got to
rebuild myself up right now though, because I lost a little bit of my
confidence, you know, I lost a little bit of my I don't know.
I just think sometimes like when we make a mistake, especially when it
comes to like other I don't know, in relation to other people. I
think that's always kind of how it is. We're just like we're really vulnerable,
and it's almost like you're in this energy of like this young kid who
is like, oh my god, like I'm so bad, Like I'm so
bad and I'm so wrong. So when your inner child is feeling like,
oh my god, I'm so bad, I'm so wrong. Everyone hates me,
Da da da, what is it? What does your inner child need
at that point? Right your inner child needs to hear no, no,
no, no no. You're great, you're beautiful, you're amazing, you're
whatever. You didn't do anything wrong. Like everything's gonna be fine. You
know, yes, this person might be mad over here, but it's gonna
be fine. You're a good person. You aren't like inherently a bad person
for doing this thing. Let's take your mind off of this thing. You
know, we've been ruminating on it for so long. What can we do
in this moment. What do you need that's going to make you feel happy?
Do we need to play over here? Do we need to pour into
ourselves? Do we need to get our minds off of it? And like,
really, in our adult lives, it's really all about routine, right,
not focusing on anything else. Stop ruminating and thinking about a million things
that you can't change right now or the things that are quote unquote messed up.
If you still can't think about it differently, focus on yourself love affirmations
in the morning, go to sleep with a night meditation all about self love
and your child healing. Pour back into yourself. You're a little bit drained
right now. Go take a freaking breath work class, Go to yoga,
go out for a hawk girl walk. Listen to a podcast that's gonna inspire
you again, that's gonna motivate you again. Go on Pinterest, Get off
of toxic social media. Stop listening to people who are talking a bunch of
crap and like being really negative because I think sometimes like also depending on your
mental diet, like even if it has nothing to do with like what your
situation is at hand, I don't know, Sometimes like negative things can can
really trigger you when you're in this vulnerable state, Like anyone talking about specific
things or non specific things will trigger you. So just be very gentle with
yourself and be very loving. Like if that means like you're not listening to
any self improvement right now, or you're not listening to any whatever that's triggering
you, like, go watch freaking flogs. You know what I did is
I couldn't really like I wasn't able to like focus and like do my work
after this, even though I kind of like settled down a little bit,
I went on YouTube and I started watching Madeline Urgee. I think that's how
you say her name. She's the one that's dating Central c And if you
guys are ogs, you know that I was obsessed with Central Cee. I'm
not obsessed with them anymore. Honestly, I'm not obsessed with them anymore.
But I do love him. I do love him, but like, I'm
not obsessed. She has a YouTube. She's like a like a new version
of Emma Chamberlain. Sorry, well she's not a new version, but she
gives off Emma Chamberlain vibes. I like her a lot, so anyways,
her vlogs I don't know why they were doing it for me. So I
ended up watching those bogs until I went to sleep. And then I went
to sleep with like a self love meditation, like an eight hour self love
meditation, and I woke up feeling so much better, And I wrote in
my notes app, I journaled, I spoke to myself and I just kept
letting it out and I literally spent as much time as my inner child needed
before I went to bed, like speaking words of love and affirmation into me,
Like that's like what I did. It was like I asked myself,
do I feel complete? Like can I go to sleep? Or do I
feel like I'm still anxious and I'm still worrying. If that's the case,
okay, well obviously you've got to go to sleep eventually. But I was
like, okay, what do I need to tell myself again and again and
again. And it was just self love affirmations like I'm not a bad person,
I am allowed to mess up, I didn't do anything wrong, and
I'm not gonna be sorry for this. I did this, this, and
this, Like maybe for you, it's like reminding yourself, Okay, you're
gonna apologize, you understand why you did that. You're gonna be changing moving
forward. You're gonna give yourself grace, whatever you need. It's like you
have to talk to your inner child, because you're inner child's really the one
that's coming online right now and freaking the f out. So it's like,
be with yourself, be there for yourself, pour into yourself. You're your
number one priority right now, and over time you'll feel better. Okay,
So I hope this episode helped in any way. Please let me know what
you would like to hear next. Don't forget to subscribe to this channel.
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one. Bye.