WEBVTT

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This is the downbeat on ninety seven
one, the freak. You've been a

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president of anything. Nine o'clock will
be your time. Give us a call

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two and four eight one seven seven
eight seven one ninety seven one. You

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can always call or text at that
number. Right there, we get Dingo's

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Morning News. In thirty minutes,
we got a Texter who said, sorry,

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I was a student council vice president
in high school and my attempt to

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have a car wash fundraiser at Hooters
failed miserably. I just wanted to see

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the boobies through the window. Well
that's a great idea, though. He

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wanted to relive the opening scene from
Cool Hand. Luke, You're the President?

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Which watch that again? Yeah,
pant material to this day, I've

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never seen it. Oh you you
love it? Yeah? Yeah, it

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might be your favorite movie of all
time if you watch it. I thought

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it was a western. No,
no, it's a prison movie. I

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love it. Definitely sounds like a
Western. Paul freaking Newman man in his

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rimet as handsome as can be in
his character, is the best Gowhen Luke

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is a must. I have it
on blue ray, bring in Nope and

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I'll put it into my Blu Ray
machine. Do you have one PlayStation?

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No, I have an x an
X, but the new Xbox. I

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don't know if there's a disc,
trust me, they ain't. Yeah,

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why would there be. They're coming
back though, Blue rays and DVDs will

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come back in like five years.
Why everything recycled? Always everything? Oh

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yeah, he's always right. You
just don't it. Can't argue with him.

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No, No, I'm showing his
answer is I'm right. There's already

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big, a big DVD renaissance happening, and Blu ray will be next to

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follow scoop them up. We're gonna
see CDs get back in the mix too.

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I don't know. I don't think
so. I think records are the

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greatest example of that. But records
are cool because they look cool on display.

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Cassettes have had a little bit of
a renaissance too. No, no,

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just because some indie bands sell cassettes
doesn't mean they're saying their cells have

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been up a little. Okay,
if they have any sales at all,

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they're up. Yeah, true,
true. The point is kind of right.

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Look, we have time for this. It's President's Day, dammit.

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We're working on President's Day because we
love America. Did you write a president

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song for this segment? No,
I should have Welcome to Kevin's Presidential Explosion.

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So I was gonna fashion this into
some type of a game or something,

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and I said, I just started
going. I said, geez,

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no too much shrapnel. We're gonna
rock and roll. I actually, you

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guys are don't love this. Mike
knows tons of general knowledge. I don't

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know that. I not. Maybe
I don't call you trivia buff though.

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Yeah too. But you know things
that I'm like really surprised, Like,

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how the hell does he know that? Yeah? But you know things that

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I'm surprised. You know, it's
just how it works, just because you

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didn't know it. I know,
random things. There's tons of crap.

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I don't know. That's true,
you know what I mean, It's interesting,

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you know whatever. Well, we'll
start with George Washington. We all

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know the thing. His teeth are
made out of wood? Right, What

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were his teeth really made out of? Oh? Actually they were made out

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of dude? Were they made out
of slaves? Teeth? Some of them

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were okay, some of them were
extracted without consent knowledge. He also used

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He also used hippopotamus ivory knowledge knowledge
hippopotamus ivory, and he always tried to

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he was trying to again, who
knows what really happened five hundred years ago,

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but allegedly he would sometimes he would
like kind of upgrade, update his

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teeth with the extraction from Slaves's called
them indentured servants. Yeah, okay,

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I'm okay with that. Indentures.
That's where that came from his that's not

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true. Everyone's making that. I
don't know. That's crazy though. His

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teeth kept stating because he liked wine
too much, and Cherry's take ups well,

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you know, I don't see how
upgrade that one and then takes it

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out, puts another one in.
Yeah, but you need to there's don't

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even want to imagine live donors.
There's a top five president of all time

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according to his story, unwilling live
donors taken from I don't know. That's

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just awful. John Adams, second
president. I don't feel like they're gonna

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get much better, Danny. So
no, no, without John Adams,

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we don't have the term assload go
on. He threw that out. Well,

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it's not so much that he did, but a reporter wrote a poem

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about him. So here's the John
Adams he was in a big election battle

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with Tommy Jefferson, and John Adams
called Thomas Jefferson a mean spirited, low

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lived fellow, the son of a
half breed Indian squaw sired by a Virginia

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mulatto father. Is a big attack
ad. Attack ads were crazy back then

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too. He warned that if Thomas
Jefferson's elected president, over me, get

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ready for murder, robbery, rape, adultery and incest, because it's going

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to be openly taught in practice.
Good lord, nothing's changed. I thought

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it was worse now getting ready for
He's basically that's the second president, John

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Adams, the second one. I
mean they were saying then that if you

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vote for that guy, this country
is over. Yeah, pretty much.

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It's very much like when Trump was
first learning about how all of the immigrants

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from Mexico were all rapists. You
know, you remember that platform. Of

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course, that's a page out of
the John Adams book. So John Adams

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debates was very cocky, and a
reporter wrote a poem about him.'

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tis old Daddy Vice, who carries
his pride and load, who turns up

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his nose wherever he goes with vanity
swelled like a toad, and it's one

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of the earliest known uses of the
term ass load. He carries his what

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like pride, pride an ass load, okay, which is obviously a big

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amount that you would pack on the
back of a mule or a donkey.

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Yeah, but still ass loads a
funny thing to say, but that could

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have contributed to ask becoming a term
that's different than just a nickname for a

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donkey. No, yeah, true, you know. But so also,

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the peaceful transfer of power, something
that's always happened, is a hallmark of

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democracy. The morning that Thomas Jefferson
is a president, his inauguration date,

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John Adams gets out of town at
four am. Really he was not there.

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He rode out of town, so
he was not there for Thomas Jefferson's

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inauguration. So there's just two and
it rode out of town on a horse.

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Yep, say on a horse.
We're getting out of here, yes,

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Thomas Jefferson. Thomas Jefferson called John
Adams a hideous hermaphrodite. WHOA what

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was he? Uh? No?
I think it's just more attack ad versus

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attack ad right, Thomas Jefferson.
Also, after his wife died, he

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had a sexually active relationship with the
fourteen year old slave that he possessed.

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Her name was Sally Hemmings. She
was a maid at his place in Paris.

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She traded her free life and came
with Jefferson back to the United States

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with the agreement if you free her
children, So she did a noble thing,

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Are you free with children? Yes? But he agreed to it and

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then had six children with her.
She was fourteen. And it's widely speculated

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that Sally Hemmings is actually the half
sister of his wife who had died.

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Back then everyone was related to.
That's another thing we'll talk her about.

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Nepo babies. There's a lot of
presidential nepotism too, you will see,

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which even as recently as Bush right, James Madison is number four there,

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you know for him he was He
was the first short king president. James

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Madison was five four pounds you kidding? Five one hundred. Yeah. He

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also suffered from a lot of stomach
aches and epilepsy five to four one hundred.

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It's like Megan Fox, Danny,
she has epilepsy five four one and

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yeah. Though seriously, though,
don't put a strobe light in front of

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her was scuba Steve. It is
mostly that is epilepsy. Does he really?

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But he went to the Shrek rave
So I don't know. You guys

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have a lot of strange ailments.
Oh you know, Okay, Yeah,

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you're you're right. You guys are
lucky. You don't have any bad diseases

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yet. James Monroe five, Um, yeah, I have too much with

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him. He just died on July
fourth. Nothing crazy, John Quincy Adams,

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your guy number six, you witched
him earlier. My man, big

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skinny dipper. I have to get
up and get naked and go for a

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swim in the Potomac River every single
morning. He's also known for having horrible

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manners and being a terrible dresser.
He also had the first controversial purchase of

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presence as he in stole the billiard's
table in the White House. Say he's

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the first one to do that.
That got used one weekend and then just

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had a bunch of coats on it
after that winter clothing. I kind of

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support the morning skinny dip. Yeah, get up and activate your brain.

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I don't know if you have to
be naked, but the morning swim if

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that's an option. If I lived
in Austin. I'd go to Barton Springs

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every day. No, you would
know you okay, every day you'd have

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to. It'd have to literally be
in your backyard. I know it.

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You can walk walk distance. That's
why us take a morning swim and I

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was cool water, get your day
going right, that's good and it's healthy

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and swimming incredibly underrated form of yes, physical fitness. Maybe you can knock

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down Lee Harvey Oswald's house and build
a pool while I look into that.

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That is expensive. I called the
company to get him to do a what

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do you call it? Estimate?
Estimate? Yeah, and asked the quote

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a quote, but they do it
with graphics. They use cad you know,

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and like give you a beautiful Oh
my god. It looked incredible,

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you know, like fences and landscaping
in a pool and I don't know if

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there's a hot top. And I
told him, Cadillac it and then we'll

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work down from there, you know. But they did it because they knew

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my address and over peak peaking peaking
over the fence was a little Lee Harvey

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Oswald because they were trying to win
me over. It was going the extra

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mile. I did like it and
I'm looking at pick and it's all this

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lighting, purple lighting in this pool. I'm like, Jesus, that's a

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dream. And then and I'm gonna
say, scroll down, scroll down and

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take a look. I think it
was one hundred and eighty thousand. Yeah,

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I'm like, oh, I'm shooting
for twenty two. Let's be like

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eighteen thousand. Yeah, you're too
shooting for twenty two. And we worked

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down from there. Try to come
in around eight. Yeah, they came

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at you with one eighty. Yeah, damn wow, that's a whole house.

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Yeah, and from then you should
still consider it. Well, I

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would love it, but I can't
consider any I couldn't do the eight thousand.

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Yeah, but times are tough.
Kevio yeah, Cavio, Yeah,

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we don't have it. We don't
have a air tractor, money back in

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the right hair track, trust fund
to fall back on. I don't have

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a ranch. Then goes tease up. I don't have videos. They retire

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on your ranch. Andrew Jackson heavy
drinker, gambler, racist and slave and

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we all know that wild hair too. He was known to take things very

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person He invented the hair blown back. Heyn't have electricity yet, He was

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known to become obsessed with crushing someone
who had talked smack about him, like

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he couldn't let it go politically crushing
or uh yeah, or physically. He

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was involved in an estimated one hundred
duels, usually because someone said something negative

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about his whore wife. Okay.
In eighteen oh six, he was shot

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in the chest during one of these
duels at a horse race. He murdered

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the guy who shot him in the
chest. First guy shot him in the

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chest, but he had a little
uh type of pendant and it was second

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like a breastplate thing, and it
stopped the bullet from really killing him.

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And then he killed the guy.
Yeah, it really happened. Yeah,

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he had a uh yeah. Andrew
Jackson. Terrible person, but terrible person,

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pretty good shot, a little of
a badass when it comes to the

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world of fighting. If you're talking
one hundred whims, yeah, they always

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miss eighteen thirteen heys those things that
it's a freaking dude, I'm telling you

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right now. If you had it's
hard to be accurate with a damn handgun,

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I don't know, musket, well, yeah, at point blank?

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Yeah, how many paces? Yeah, how many paces? It's a weird

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one too. You're cheating. You're
cheating that one every time nine paces you

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have to you cheat. Everyone's thinking
and you know they're thinking. Pop.

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But then you're you have dishonor yeah, just on your name. But honor

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doesn't mean anything. Whatever happened,
just smacking somebody in the face with a

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glove. In eighteen thirteen, he
also took a bullet to the arm in

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a bar fight with a senator.
You don't see many senator bar fights these

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days. It's all social media trolling. Martin van Buren. He a lot

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of nicknames. One of his nicknames
was little Magician Mike. Oh okay,

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he was only five six did do
magic? Uh? Not really? No,

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His magician was He was called that
because he was a political flip flopper.

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He was a hypocrite. Now his
daughter in law became the first lady

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after his wife died. A little
weird. The biggest indictment of him,

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though, was that he was a
big flip flopper and all that. William

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Henry Harrison though wild guy here,
count of Think Brian de Maris told you

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that earlier he gave the longest inauguration
speech ever, ten thousand words over ninety

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minutes. It was all out in
the cold, news or all out in

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the cold. And then thirty three
days later he died. On April third,

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eighteen forty one, thirty three days
after taking office, he developed severe

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diarrhea. Oh no, yeah,
is right. You died of diarrhea.

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He became delirious. He had severe
diarrhea, and he became delirious. He

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just won't stop. First president to
die in office. Eventually, there's nothing

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left. Now we've all been there. The theory at the time is that

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he got sick during the bad weather. Yeah, but because of his long

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ass speech. In twenty fourteen,
a publication had done some research and they're

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like, if you look at it, the White House water supply was downstream

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of at the time of river.
It might have been the Potomaca, which

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had some public sewage also in that
area. He could have died from septic

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shock, and that would explain the
diarrhea. So William Henry Harrison died in

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office, so you got to quickly
replace him, and you quickly replace him

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with John Tyler. John Tyler,
he convinced everyone I should be the president,

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which he created the idea that the
vice president takes over for the president.

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It never happened because they'd never had
a president died in office before.

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Everyone hated him. He was expelled
from his own party. During the presidency,

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his entire cabinet resigned over his policies. One newspaper editor called him poor,

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miserable, a despised imbecile. The
New York Times called him the most

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unpopular public man that had ever held
any office in the United States. In

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his obituary, Abraham Lincoln wouldn't even
put flags at half mast when he died.

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Everyone hated John Tyler. And John
Tyler has a living grandson right now,

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who's ninety six years old. Get
him on. Whoaa wait, I

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have a living grandson. Ah,
yeah, ninety six years old. How

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stupid is that the tenth president has
a grandson living? Incredible James K.

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Polk Number eleven Party pooper banned booze, card playing, and dancing from the

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White House. Go to hell,
James K. Polk. Zachary Taylor's number

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twelve. He looked like a Lyle
from Napoleon Dynamite. You know the guy

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I'm talking about there By the way, booze, gambling and dancing, those

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are like your top three favorite things. Yeah, drinking, antsing. Denial

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is the gambling. That's just denial. That's all that is that it's not

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working. Can I read a sentence
please, because I was just looking up.

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Is Tyler, Texas named after John
Tyler? Is it? The county

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seat was named Tyler for President John
Tyler in recognition of his support for admitting

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Texas to the United States. Good
job, John Tyler. Well you just

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ripped him to pieces. Everyone else
hates him. Maybe that's why they hated

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him. I didn't go too big, too like the actual history details,

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like what war was happening in many
of these. Zach Taylor, while celebrating

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the fourth of July, he snacked
on a bunch of cherries and he washed

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it down with some iced milk.
And there's either some bacteria present in the

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cherries or the milk, and it
led to his death a few days later.

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Sure to stay away from cherries and
iced milk milk, getting killed eating

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ice cream as Zach Taylor was drinking
milk milk. That was some cherries,

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milk, coal, Millard fillmore.
I looks just like Alec Baldwin. It's

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e fing iconic at this point.
It's they're the same person. Now he

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married a school teacher, all right. Most historians call him an uninspiring man.

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President Harry Truman called him a weak
trivial thumb twaddler. Oh thumb twockler,

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twaddler twaddler. He's Toddles's thumbs oky. He does look like Alec Bob.

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It's ridiculous. Franklin Pierce. He
was fourteen. I believe he was

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known to be an insane alcoholic.
He and his wife had three sons.

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All of the kids died by the
age of twelve. Their youngest died after

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he was elected, and his wife
never recovered from the griefs. So they

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were traveling. Uh. He traveled
to the to Europe in the Bahamas to

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take care of his wife after he
got out of office. But weeks after

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his election, they're traveling from Boston
by train. The car Debrells. They

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rolled down an embankment. They get
down that they survive. Him and his

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wife survive, but their eleven year
old son, Benjamin, was crushed to

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death in the wreckage, and he
couldn't hide it from his wife. So

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his wife sees the mangled body.
She's destroyed. They both had depression.

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They actually said that like in the
White House, Franklin Pierce was just like

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he couldn't do anything because he just
yeah, wiped out with grief. But

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he was drinking a lot, and
that's when he could activate his senses.

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And during his first year as president, he was arrested for running over an

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old woman with his horse. He's
drunk on his horse. He ran over

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and killed an old lady. Damn
it, Franklin Pierce to understand he was

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arrested while he was the president.
Yeah. Oh, it ended up winning

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the trial because they didn't have enough
evidence. Yeah, crazy. What did

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the horse refuse to testify? I'm
not Oh, don't recall, shouldn't have

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been standing there. Poor old ladies
gets wiped out by the president's horse,

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died. Yeah, because a president
was drunk on his horse, just screaming

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through leasy and rammed over an old
lady. One of the first public drunk

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driving cases. This chastry is incredible. It's amazing, It is truly incredible.

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What fine stories. I'm gonna do
one more and I'll save the rest

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mass. I had some more at
nine thirty. I'm gonna do one more

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with James Buchanan. James Buchanan was
the only bachelor to be president, and

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he may not have been truly single. See there's a lot of speculation about

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his sexuality and his close relationship with
Alabama Senator William rufus King, right,

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and they lived together for more than
ten years, despite being rich enough to

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have their own homes. Andrew Jackson
called them Miss Nancy and Aunt Fancy behind

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their backs. It's kind of a
gay golden Girls. Then William Rufus King

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left for France in eighteen forty four, of Buchanan wrote in a diary,

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I am now solitary and alone,
having no companion in the house with me.

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I have gone a wooing several gentlemen, but have not succeeded with any

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one of them. Your first gay
president, James Buchanan. All right,

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he also suffered from esotropia. Esotropia
it's where one eye short sighted and one

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near sighted, one is far sighted. He couldn't tell, so like he

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had like covered up and like he's
always tilting his head in social interactions.

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Now they thought he was tilting his
head because he was gay, but he

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was just tilting because of his eyes. So just James Buchanan, I'll think

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out of MC nine thirty with Abe
Lincoln. That's to pop up a lot

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on the first gay president. It's
amazing. I didn't know that. That's

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some good water cooler stuff, Kevin. So when you're not at your office

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today because you're off, yeah,
you cannot talk about all of the things

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that Kevin just brought up. Texters
love you. I want Mark kt fun

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fact segment, This fantastic, great
segment for president's say really crazy facts.

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Someone said woke libs took it away. I don't know which fact that was,

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but somebody's somebody's worked up took it
away. I don't know what.

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Maybe we'll pick it up with Abe
Lincoln and the Explosion Part two at nine

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thirty go. The next thing his
Morning News is that? Is that?

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Next? Oh wow, holy crap, Well you think we have a we

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have a coyote problem here? Oh
no, Washington State has a bobcat problem.

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We'll tell you all the details next