This is the downbeat on ninety seven one, the freak. You've been a
president of anything. Nine o'clock will be your time. Give us a call
two and four eight one seven seven eight seven one ninety seven one. You
can always call or text at that number. Right there, we get Dingo's
Morning News. In thirty minutes, we got a Texter who said, sorry,
I was a student council vice president in high school and my attempt to
have a car wash fundraiser at Hooters failed miserably. I just wanted to see
the boobies through the window. Well that's a great idea, though. He
wanted to relive the opening scene from Cool Hand. Luke, You're the President?
Which watch that again? Yeah, pant material to this day, I've
never seen it. Oh you you love it? Yeah? Yeah, it
might be your favorite movie of all time if you watch it. I thought
it was a western. No, no, it's a prison movie. I
love it. Definitely sounds like a Western. Paul freaking Newman man in his
rimet as handsome as can be in his character, is the best Gowhen Luke
is a must. I have it on blue ray, bring in Nope and
I'll put it into my Blu Ray machine. Do you have one PlayStation?
No, I have an x an X, but the new Xbox. I
don't know if there's a disc, trust me, they ain't. Yeah,
why would there be. They're coming back though, Blue rays and DVDs will
come back in like five years. Why everything recycled? Always everything? Oh
yeah, he's always right. You just don't it. Can't argue with him.
No, No, I'm showing his answer is I'm right. There's already
big, a big DVD renaissance happening, and Blu ray will be next to
follow scoop them up. We're gonna see CDs get back in the mix too.
I don't know. I don't think so. I think records are the
greatest example of that. But records are cool because they look cool on display.
Cassettes have had a little bit of a renaissance too. No, no,
just because some indie bands sell cassettes doesn't mean they're saying their cells have
been up a little. Okay, if they have any sales at all,
they're up. Yeah, true, true. The point is kind of right.
Look, we have time for this. It's President's Day, dammit.
We're working on President's Day because we love America. Did you write a president
song for this segment? No, I should have Welcome to Kevin's Presidential Explosion.
So I was gonna fashion this into some type of a game or something,
and I said, I just started going. I said, geez,
no too much shrapnel. We're gonna rock and roll. I actually, you
guys are don't love this. Mike knows tons of general knowledge. I don't
know that. I not. Maybe I don't call you trivia buff though.
Yeah too. But you know things that I'm like really surprised, Like,
how the hell does he know that? Yeah? But you know things that
I'm surprised. You know, it's just how it works, just because you
didn't know it. I know, random things. There's tons of crap.
I don't know. That's true, you know what I mean, It's interesting,
you know whatever. Well, we'll start with George Washington. We all
know the thing. His teeth are made out of wood? Right, What
were his teeth really made out of? Oh? Actually they were made out
of dude? Were they made out of slaves? Teeth? Some of them
were okay, some of them were extracted without consent knowledge. He also used
He also used hippopotamus ivory knowledge knowledge hippopotamus ivory, and he always tried to
he was trying to again, who knows what really happened five hundred years ago,
but allegedly he would sometimes he would like kind of upgrade, update his
teeth with the extraction from Slaves's called them indentured servants. Yeah, okay,
I'm okay with that. Indentures. That's where that came from his that's not
true. Everyone's making that. I don't know. That's crazy though. His
teeth kept stating because he liked wine too much, and Cherry's take ups well,
you know, I don't see how upgrade that one and then takes it
out, puts another one in. Yeah, but you need to there's don't
even want to imagine live donors. There's a top five president of all time
according to his story, unwilling live donors taken from I don't know. That's
just awful. John Adams, second president. I don't feel like they're gonna
get much better, Danny. So no, no, without John Adams,
we don't have the term assload go on. He threw that out. Well,
it's not so much that he did, but a reporter wrote a poem
about him. So here's the John Adams he was in a big election battle
with Tommy Jefferson, and John Adams called Thomas Jefferson a mean spirited, low
lived fellow, the son of a half breed Indian squaw sired by a Virginia
mulatto father. Is a big attack ad. Attack ads were crazy back then
too. He warned that if Thomas Jefferson's elected president, over me, get
ready for murder, robbery, rape, adultery and incest, because it's going
to be openly taught in practice. Good lord, nothing's changed. I thought
it was worse now getting ready for He's basically that's the second president, John
Adams, the second one. I mean they were saying then that if you
vote for that guy, this country is over. Yeah, pretty much.
It's very much like when Trump was first learning about how all of the immigrants
from Mexico were all rapists. You know, you remember that platform. Of
course, that's a page out of the John Adams book. So John Adams
debates was very cocky, and a reporter wrote a poem about him.'
tis old Daddy Vice, who carries his pride and load, who turns up
his nose wherever he goes with vanity swelled like a toad, and it's one
of the earliest known uses of the term ass load. He carries his what
like pride, pride an ass load, okay, which is obviously a big
amount that you would pack on the back of a mule or a donkey.
Yeah, but still ass loads a funny thing to say, but that could
have contributed to ask becoming a term that's different than just a nickname for a
donkey. No, yeah, true, you know. But so also,
the peaceful transfer of power, something that's always happened, is a hallmark of
democracy. The morning that Thomas Jefferson is a president, his inauguration date,
John Adams gets out of town at four am. Really he was not there.
He rode out of town, so he was not there for Thomas Jefferson's
inauguration. So there's just two and it rode out of town on a horse.
Yep, say on a horse. We're getting out of here, yes,
Thomas Jefferson. Thomas Jefferson called John Adams a hideous hermaphrodite. WHOA what
was he? Uh? No? I think it's just more attack ad versus
attack ad right, Thomas Jefferson. Also, after his wife died, he
had a sexually active relationship with the fourteen year old slave that he possessed.
Her name was Sally Hemmings. She was a maid at his place in Paris.
She traded her free life and came with Jefferson back to the United States
with the agreement if you free her children, So she did a noble thing,
Are you free with children? Yes? But he agreed to it and
then had six children with her. She was fourteen. And it's widely speculated
that Sally Hemmings is actually the half sister of his wife who had died.
Back then everyone was related to. That's another thing we'll talk her about.
Nepo babies. There's a lot of presidential nepotism too, you will see,
which even as recently as Bush right, James Madison is number four there,
you know for him he was He was the first short king president. James
Madison was five four pounds you kidding? Five one hundred. Yeah. He
also suffered from a lot of stomach aches and epilepsy five to four one hundred.
It's like Megan Fox, Danny, she has epilepsy five four one and
yeah. Though seriously, though, don't put a strobe light in front of
her was scuba Steve. It is mostly that is epilepsy. Does he really?
But he went to the Shrek rave So I don't know. You guys
have a lot of strange ailments. Oh you know, Okay, Yeah,
you're you're right. You guys are lucky. You don't have any bad diseases
yet. James Monroe five, Um, yeah, I have too much with
him. He just died on July fourth. Nothing crazy, John Quincy Adams,
your guy number six, you witched him earlier. My man, big
skinny dipper. I have to get up and get naked and go for a
swim in the Potomac River every single morning. He's also known for having horrible
manners and being a terrible dresser. He also had the first controversial purchase of
presence as he in stole the billiard's table in the White House. Say he's
the first one to do that. That got used one weekend and then just
had a bunch of coats on it after that winter clothing. I kind of
support the morning skinny dip. Yeah, get up and activate your brain.
I don't know if you have to be naked, but the morning swim if
that's an option. If I lived in Austin. I'd go to Barton Springs
every day. No, you would know you okay, every day you'd have
to. It'd have to literally be in your backyard. I know it.
You can walk walk distance. That's why us take a morning swim and I
was cool water, get your day going right, that's good and it's healthy
and swimming incredibly underrated form of yes, physical fitness. Maybe you can knock
down Lee Harvey Oswald's house and build a pool while I look into that.
That is expensive. I called the company to get him to do a what
do you call it? Estimate? Estimate? Yeah, and asked the quote
a quote, but they do it with graphics. They use cad you know,
and like give you a beautiful Oh my god. It looked incredible,
you know, like fences and landscaping in a pool and I don't know if
there's a hot top. And I told him, Cadillac it and then we'll
work down from there, you know. But they did it because they knew
my address and over peak peaking peaking over the fence was a little Lee Harvey
Oswald because they were trying to win me over. It was going the extra
mile. I did like it and I'm looking at pick and it's all this
lighting, purple lighting in this pool. I'm like, Jesus, that's a
dream. And then and I'm gonna say, scroll down, scroll down and
take a look. I think it was one hundred and eighty thousand. Yeah,
I'm like, oh, I'm shooting for twenty two. Let's be like
eighteen thousand. Yeah, you're too shooting for twenty two. And we worked
down from there. Try to come in around eight. Yeah, they came
at you with one eighty. Yeah, damn wow, that's a whole house.
Yeah, and from then you should still consider it. Well, I
would love it, but I can't consider any I couldn't do the eight thousand.
Yeah, but times are tough. Kevio yeah, Cavio, Yeah,
we don't have it. We don't have a air tractor, money back in
the right hair track, trust fund to fall back on. I don't have
a ranch. Then goes tease up. I don't have videos. They retire
on your ranch. Andrew Jackson heavy drinker, gambler, racist and slave and
we all know that wild hair too. He was known to take things very
person He invented the hair blown back. Heyn't have electricity yet, He was
known to become obsessed with crushing someone who had talked smack about him, like
he couldn't let it go politically crushing or uh yeah, or physically. He
was involved in an estimated one hundred duels, usually because someone said something negative
about his whore wife. Okay. In eighteen oh six, he was shot
in the chest during one of these duels at a horse race. He murdered
the guy who shot him in the chest. First guy shot him in the
chest, but he had a little uh type of pendant and it was second
like a breastplate thing, and it stopped the bullet from really killing him.
And then he killed the guy. Yeah, it really happened. Yeah,
he had a uh yeah. Andrew Jackson. Terrible person, but terrible person,
pretty good shot, a little of a badass when it comes to the
world of fighting. If you're talking one hundred whims, yeah, they always
miss eighteen thirteen heys those things that it's a freaking dude, I'm telling you
right now. If you had it's hard to be accurate with a damn handgun,
I don't know, musket, well, yeah, at point blank?
Yeah, how many paces? Yeah, how many paces? It's a weird
one too. You're cheating. You're cheating that one every time nine paces you
have to you cheat. Everyone's thinking and you know they're thinking. Pop.
But then you're you have dishonor yeah, just on your name. But honor
doesn't mean anything. Whatever happened, just smacking somebody in the face with a
glove. In eighteen thirteen, he also took a bullet to the arm in
a bar fight with a senator. You don't see many senator bar fights these
days. It's all social media trolling. Martin van Buren. He a lot
of nicknames. One of his nicknames was little Magician Mike. Oh okay,
he was only five six did do magic? Uh? Not really? No,
His magician was He was called that because he was a political flip flopper.
He was a hypocrite. Now his daughter in law became the first lady
after his wife died. A little weird. The biggest indictment of him,
though, was that he was a big flip flopper and all that. William
Henry Harrison though wild guy here, count of Think Brian de Maris told you
that earlier he gave the longest inauguration speech ever, ten thousand words over ninety
minutes. It was all out in the cold, news or all out in
the cold. And then thirty three days later he died. On April third,
eighteen forty one, thirty three days after taking office, he developed severe
diarrhea. Oh no, yeah, is right. You died of diarrhea.
He became delirious. He had severe diarrhea, and he became delirious. He
just won't stop. First president to die in office. Eventually, there's nothing
left. Now we've all been there. The theory at the time is that
he got sick during the bad weather. Yeah, but because of his long
ass speech. In twenty fourteen, a publication had done some research and they're
like, if you look at it, the White House water supply was downstream
of at the time of river. It might have been the Potomaca, which
had some public sewage also in that area. He could have died from septic
shock, and that would explain the diarrhea. So William Henry Harrison died in
office, so you got to quickly replace him, and you quickly replace him
with John Tyler. John Tyler, he convinced everyone I should be the president,
which he created the idea that the vice president takes over for the president.
It never happened because they'd never had a president died in office before.
Everyone hated him. He was expelled from his own party. During the presidency,
his entire cabinet resigned over his policies. One newspaper editor called him poor,
miserable, a despised imbecile. The New York Times called him the most
unpopular public man that had ever held any office in the United States. In
his obituary, Abraham Lincoln wouldn't even put flags at half mast when he died.
Everyone hated John Tyler. And John Tyler has a living grandson right now,
who's ninety six years old. Get him on. Whoaa wait, I
have a living grandson. Ah, yeah, ninety six years old. How
stupid is that the tenth president has a grandson living? Incredible James K.
Polk Number eleven Party pooper banned booze, card playing, and dancing from the
White House. Go to hell, James K. Polk. Zachary Taylor's number
twelve. He looked like a Lyle from Napoleon Dynamite. You know the guy
I'm talking about there By the way, booze, gambling and dancing, those
are like your top three favorite things. Yeah, drinking, antsing. Denial
is the gambling. That's just denial. That's all that is that it's not
working. Can I read a sentence please, because I was just looking up.
Is Tyler, Texas named after John Tyler? Is it? The county
seat was named Tyler for President John Tyler in recognition of his support for admitting
Texas to the United States. Good job, John Tyler. Well you just
ripped him to pieces. Everyone else hates him. Maybe that's why they hated
him. I didn't go too big, too like the actual history details,
like what war was happening in many of these. Zach Taylor, while celebrating
the fourth of July, he snacked on a bunch of cherries and he washed
it down with some iced milk. And there's either some bacteria present in the
cherries or the milk, and it led to his death a few days later.
Sure to stay away from cherries and iced milk milk, getting killed eating
ice cream as Zach Taylor was drinking milk milk. That was some cherries,
milk, coal, Millard fillmore. I looks just like Alec Baldwin. It's
e fing iconic at this point. It's they're the same person. Now he
married a school teacher, all right. Most historians call him an uninspiring man.
President Harry Truman called him a weak trivial thumb twaddler. Oh thumb twockler,
twaddler twaddler. He's Toddles's thumbs oky. He does look like Alec Bob.
It's ridiculous. Franklin Pierce. He was fourteen. I believe he was
known to be an insane alcoholic. He and his wife had three sons.
All of the kids died by the age of twelve. Their youngest died after
he was elected, and his wife never recovered from the griefs. So they
were traveling. Uh. He traveled to the to Europe in the Bahamas to
take care of his wife after he got out of office. But weeks after
his election, they're traveling from Boston by train. The car Debrells. They
rolled down an embankment. They get down that they survive. Him and his
wife survive, but their eleven year old son, Benjamin, was crushed to
death in the wreckage, and he couldn't hide it from his wife. So
his wife sees the mangled body. She's destroyed. They both had depression.
They actually said that like in the White House, Franklin Pierce was just like
he couldn't do anything because he just yeah, wiped out with grief. But
he was drinking a lot, and that's when he could activate his senses.
And during his first year as president, he was arrested for running over an
old woman with his horse. He's drunk on his horse. He ran over
and killed an old lady. Damn it, Franklin Pierce to understand he was
arrested while he was the president. Yeah. Oh, it ended up winning
the trial because they didn't have enough evidence. Yeah, crazy. What did
the horse refuse to testify? I'm not Oh, don't recall, shouldn't have
been standing there. Poor old ladies gets wiped out by the president's horse,
died. Yeah, because a president was drunk on his horse, just screaming
through leasy and rammed over an old lady. One of the first public drunk
driving cases. This chastry is incredible. It's amazing, It is truly incredible.
What fine stories. I'm gonna do one more and I'll save the rest
mass. I had some more at nine thirty. I'm gonna do one more
with James Buchanan. James Buchanan was the only bachelor to be president, and
he may not have been truly single. See there's a lot of speculation about
his sexuality and his close relationship with Alabama Senator William rufus King, right,
and they lived together for more than ten years, despite being rich enough to
have their own homes. Andrew Jackson called them Miss Nancy and Aunt Fancy behind
their backs. It's kind of a gay golden Girls. Then William Rufus King
left for France in eighteen forty four, of Buchanan wrote in a diary,
I am now solitary and alone, having no companion in the house with me.
I have gone a wooing several gentlemen, but have not succeeded with any
one of them. Your first gay president, James Buchanan. All right,
he also suffered from esotropia. Esotropia it's where one eye short sighted and one
near sighted, one is far sighted. He couldn't tell, so like he
had like covered up and like he's always tilting his head in social interactions.
Now they thought he was tilting his head because he was gay, but he
was just tilting because of his eyes. So just James Buchanan, I'll think
out of MC nine thirty with Abe Lincoln. That's to pop up a lot
on the first gay president. It's amazing. I didn't know that. That's
some good water cooler stuff, Kevin. So when you're not at your office
today because you're off, yeah, you cannot talk about all of the things
that Kevin just brought up. Texters love you. I want Mark kt fun
fact segment, This fantastic, great segment for president's say really crazy facts.
Someone said woke libs took it away. I don't know which fact that was,
but somebody's somebody's worked up took it away. I don't know what.
Maybe we'll pick it up with Abe Lincoln and the Explosion Part two at nine
thirty go. The next thing his Morning News is that? Is that?
Next? Oh wow, holy crap, Well you think we have a we
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