1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:04,040 Showing up online isn't about you. It's about the people that you are helping. 2 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:07,120 And yeah, there might be people out there who look at the content 3 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:10,080 I share and they're like, who does she think she is for doing that? 4 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:13,839 But what I've realized is that there are even more people out there who 5 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:17,199 listen to my podcast, who've read my posts on Instagram, who watch my 6 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:22,320 videos, who are learning something from it. It's having that tangible impact on 7 00:00:22,359 --> 00:00:25,760 their lives, and that matters to me so much more than the opinion of 8 00:00:25,879 --> 00:00:31,719 somebody I don't even really care about. Welcome to Imperfect Action. I'm Steph 9 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:35,679 Taylor. For years, I read all the books, downloaded all the freebies, 10 00:00:35,719 --> 00:00:39,960 and did all the courses, but it wasn't until I started taking imperfect 11 00:00:40,039 --> 00:00:45,640 action that my business had its first million dollar year. Imperfect Action is about 12 00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:51,880 doing things before you're ready, prioritizing consistent action over perfect action, and moving 13 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:56,280 forward even when you're not sure you're doing it right. On this show, 14 00:00:56,320 --> 00:01:00,640 you can expect mindset advice, actionable marketing tips, and stratus used to build 15 00:01:00,719 --> 00:01:03,959 a business that brings you more profit, more freedom, and even more joy. 16 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:10,359 Are you want the list to get my daily businesses every day, I'll 17 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,680 send you a bite sized prompt designed to help you grow your business in a 18 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:18,359 more intentional way. Sign up at Steph Taylor dot Co, forward slash DBB, 19 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:23,719 or at the link in the show notes. Hey, welcome back to 20 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:30,239 Perfect Action. This is episode seven hundred and sixteen. Today we're talking about 21 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:36,159 the fear of judgment. Now, this is something that I have come up 22 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:40,280 against over and over and over again in my business, and when I first 23 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:44,920 started building my personal brand, I worried NonStop what other people would think of 24 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:49,120 me. Now, would people think I was weird for putting myself out there? 25 00:01:49,159 --> 00:01:52,760 Would people laugh at me? Would people troll me? These days, 26 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:57,439 I generally don't care a whole lot what people on the internet say. Obviously 27 00:01:57,519 --> 00:02:00,560 I don't love getting mean comments, but I've also realized that, in the 28 00:02:00,599 --> 00:02:06,280 broader context of how many people I'm helping by showing up online, the occasional 29 00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:09,639 mean comment doesn't actually mean very much. So this episode, I'm going to 30 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:15,039 share three big tips that helped me to overcome my own fear of judgment in 31 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:19,560 the hopes that if you are afraid of what others will think, and you're 32 00:02:19,599 --> 00:02:23,400 afraid of putting yourself out there. I'm hoping that these tips will really help 33 00:02:23,479 --> 00:02:28,919 you because they have been big shifts for me as well. So Number one, 34 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,680 what people think of you is a reflection of themselves and doesn't have that 35 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:37,240 much to actually do with you. Now, a very popular concept in modern 36 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:42,000 psychology is that the things we dislike or resent in other people are often the 37 00:02:42,039 --> 00:02:46,479 things that we are unable to see or accept in ourselves. So the things 38 00:02:46,479 --> 00:02:49,680 that we envy in other people are the things that we wish we could do 39 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:53,039 ourselves. For example. Now, for example, if somebody is afraid to 40 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:59,560 speak up and get visible, then of course they're gonna resent me or envy 41 00:02:59,599 --> 00:03:04,599 me for building my own brand and getting visible. That way, if somebody 42 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:08,479 feels guilty for promoting their own work and sharing their own accomplishments, then of 43 00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:13,840 course they're going to be triggered by me sharing my wins. Back in twenty 44 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:17,680 twenty, when my business grew really quickly, pretty much overnight, I posted 45 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:22,159 about it on Instagram and I had a lot of people unfollow me as a 46 00:03:22,199 --> 00:03:25,000 result of that post. But I also had a lot of people commenting and 47 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:29,319 messaging me to say, hey, this is so inspiring. If you can 48 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:34,159 do it, so can I, and they were consuming the exact same content. 49 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:38,000 Both of those groups of people were consuming the exact same post, but 50 00:03:38,039 --> 00:03:43,400 they had completely different interpretations of it. One group saw it as a little 51 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:47,280 bit triggering, the other groups or it is inspiring and regardless of what you 52 00:03:47,319 --> 00:03:51,879 do, your actions are going to create some kind of judgment in somebody. 53 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,039 So you can either do nothing and hide under the kitchen table and hope that 54 00:03:55,120 --> 00:04:00,520 nobody ever judges you, or you can get out there and do what feels 55 00:04:00,599 --> 00:04:02,960 right to you, do what you really want to do, and know that 56 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:09,319 the right people aren't gonna judge you. The second big shift was realizing that 57 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:15,039 everyone else cares too much about themselves to think about me as much as I 58 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,519 think that they do. Right, nobody cares about you as much as you 59 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:21,399 think that they care about you. And if I find myself getting caught up 60 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:27,040 in overthinking what will people think? What will people think if I say this? 61 00:04:27,079 --> 00:04:30,759 What will people think if I post this? I always remind myself nobody 62 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,519 cares, which might sound a little bit depressing, but it's actually so freeing. 63 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:38,160 You know, nobody cares what I say, nobody cares what I do, 64 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:43,879 so I can do what feels right for me rather than what I think 65 00:04:44,079 --> 00:04:47,040 people want me to do or say. And if you're really worried about what 66 00:04:47,519 --> 00:04:51,199 other people are gonna think, pause and ask yourself, who are these people 67 00:04:51,199 --> 00:04:56,839 who are so bored and unhappy with their own lives that they have the time 68 00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:01,079 and energy to judge me for this thing? And why am I letting their 69 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:05,480 opinion matter to me? Why do I care about their opinion? I have 70 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:10,879 always been super self critical. I think this just comes as being part of 71 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:14,839 an overachiever. We tend to be pretty harsh critics. And another thing that 72 00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:18,800 I've realized is I'm probably always going to be my own harshest critic. Anyway. 73 00:05:19,639 --> 00:05:25,279 Other people aren't looking at my every move in nearly as much detail as 74 00:05:25,319 --> 00:05:28,920 I am. They're not being as critical of me as I am being critical 75 00:05:28,959 --> 00:05:33,399 of me. Then the third big shift that I realized was showing up online 76 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,959 isn't about you. It's about the people that you are helping. And yeah, 77 00:05:36,959 --> 00:05:40,839 there might be people out there who look at the content I share and 78 00:05:40,879 --> 00:05:44,439 they're like, who does she think she is for doing that? But what 79 00:05:44,519 --> 00:05:46,680 I've realized is that there are even more people out there who listen to my 80 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:50,600 podcast, who read my posts on Instagram, who watch my videos, who 81 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:56,000 are learning something from it. It's having that tangible impact on their lives, 82 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:59,639 and that matters to me so much more than the opinion of somebody I don't 83 00:05:59,639 --> 00:06:02,560 even really care about. Now, people are going to judge you regardless, 84 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:08,160 So let them judge you for who you actually are and have a little bit 85 00:06:08,199 --> 00:06:11,920 of impact do some good in the process. Show up and help the people 86 00:06:11,959 --> 00:06:15,319 that you can help. I once had someone call me a skid mark on 87 00:06:15,319 --> 00:06:19,120 Facebook, and I had another person put a poop emoji on a photo of 88 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:24,480 me and send it to my email. And I actually feel really sorry for 89 00:06:24,519 --> 00:06:28,800 trolls like this because they have nothing better to do with their time than to 90 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:33,399 send these things. So if you're worried about people judging you and saying mean 91 00:06:33,439 --> 00:06:38,480 things online, remember that it's not about the people who are going to troll 92 00:06:38,519 --> 00:06:40,800 you for the sake of trolling you, but it's actually about the people who 93 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:45,319 you can help. And why would you let the people who are gonna call 94 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:48,279 you a skid mark stop you from showing up and helping the people who you 95 00:06:48,319 --> 00:06:53,360 can have a real impact on. So, if you're worried that something like 96 00:06:53,399 --> 00:06:56,399 this will happen when you start showing up online. I do want to say 97 00:06:56,439 --> 00:07:00,399 it doesn't happen that often. I have very rarely had any actuals and I 98 00:07:00,399 --> 00:07:04,519 don't get that many mean comments. It's pretty rare. But remember that when 99 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:09,000 you start showing up online, it's actually gonna If somebody says something mean, 100 00:07:09,079 --> 00:07:13,439 it says more about them than it does about you. Right, So there 101 00:07:13,439 --> 00:07:16,360 are a couple of little shifts. Hopefully those help you to overcome that fear 102 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:19,639 of stepping into the spotlight, because you definitely do have something to say, 103 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:23,959 even if you are doubting what you want to say and whether you know enough. 104 00:07:25,519 --> 00:07:28,759 The confidence will grow. It will come, and the more that you 105 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:31,120 start showing up, the more you start sharing, the more comfortable you will 106 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:34,279 begin to feel with all of that. Now, if you're not already subscribed 107 00:07:34,319 --> 00:07:38,680 to the show, hit the subscribe button or the follow button on Apple podcasts, 108 00:07:38,839 --> 00:07:42,240 and it just means you'll get each new episode straight to your podcast app 109 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:45,600 every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Thank you so much for listening. 110 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:46,439 Catch you next time.