Bottled Up Bitches is hosted by a horny mary couple. Content may include adult
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Its season four. Welcome to Bottle Death Bitches, your favorite sex podcast
hosted by a horny married couple with me Rihanna Campbell and me producer Man Adam.
Sex shouldn't be taboo or embarrassing, so let's talk about it. How
do we? Doodley neighborna Hey, Hi, Adam, Hey, Rihanna,
Hi, everybody, Well, everybody, it's another episode of your favorite sex
podcast, Bottle Deathitches. We're out here just living. It's living. Its
living. It's when you slay and live at the same time. Hilton got
it, Okay, I like to keep you young. That is so they
say hot. Yeah, oh that was pretty good. Thanks really, thank
you, thank you, thank you. How's your day going so far?
Busy? Busy. We've had a busy day today. We've had a busy
uh, you know, twenty something years for sure. But yeah, we've
been going, going, going, And I, as always I say I'm
super excited, but I was thoroughly excited to talk to our guest today,
Jody from a provocative pro pro pro just provocative, provocative, but it's spelled
pro provocative. There's a hoe in the middle, because there's all as she
said, there's a little hoe in all of us. Yeah, and I
think that's just precious. Um. No, I had so much fun getting
to know Jody and how provocative started and learning about her life. It was
a good time. I had a thoroughly festive time. Yeah, No,
it was. It was fun and listening to her like journey of her ho
life, stay Helen, stay Howen, and you know, especially hearing like
you know she started this kind of whole lifestyle later in life. Yeah,
I go. I talk a lot about my howing years, and my howing
years were earlier on because I found you very early. Yeah, And so
it's very fun when people find themselves and they go through their sexuality. Yeah,
they start going through all of their journey in a later stage. And
it's not even that late. She's like, what thirty, I think she's
not like sixty years old finding her way. But the contrast is very fun.
I love learning about people's journeys and when they decided to explore their sexuality
a little bit more and what that entails so that conversation was just a good
old time. I love I love talking sex, and we got to do
a lot of that that we did. That we did, we did.
I think the episode speaks for itself. I think everyone's going to be impressed
and having a good old time learning about Jody and ten ten recommend going and
checking out her podcast as well, Provocative. We'll have all those links in
the description which we were. She was kind to have us on a few
months ago. Yes, she had us on and it was so much fun.
We did her to meet over the phone, so it was really fine
fun getting to see her and over a video and seeing all the facial expressions.
I always enjoy that. Yeah, without further ado, I hope you
enjoy this episode with Jody of Provocative A professional to what we have today,
she's a pro professional. H e h e y name of the episode,
name of professional. Yeah, we'll write down. Well, right, I
love that. Well, I would love to learn more about that, Jody,
so Provocative. How did that get started? What does that mean to
you? Like, I want to know the behind the scenes of starting the
brand, because it's not just a podcast. You have your book, you
have a whole and going, I want to learn more about what the provocative
movement is. Yes, so I'll go back to twenty twenty. Right,
So COVID had just you know, shooking up the world and everyone was kind
of insight so inside the house, so I had a lot of time with
myself. Twenty twenty was the year I turned thirty. I was just kind
of going through this transition in my life and I'm self reflecting, and before
I knew it, the end of twenty twenty, I turned thirty and I
was like, oh my god, I've never had a whole phase. Like
it was really like I turned thirty and I was like, oh my goodness.
Like I was in two long term relationships, one from when I was
sixteen till about twenty two. The next one I was about twenty three turning
twenty four until thirty because we broke up like around the time I turned thirty.
So I'm like, all I know is relationship. Like I've dated people
here and there, but I know relationships, and I've never really had an
opportunity to just freely date or freely you know, just figure out what it
is that I truly want outside of like, oh I really like this person.
Now I'm committed to them Boom years ago by so all of these thoughts
are going through my mind and then twenty twenty one that comes around, and
then out of nowhere, I'm like, you know what. And then also
I will say this, I've always been pretty well spoken and I'm kind of
funny on social media, so people have asked me, like, over you
should do a podcast. I'm like, I don't even know what the hell
that is. Whatever, So twenty twenty one rolls around, so now I'm
actually thinking about it more seriously. You know, it's still COVID. People
still haven't transition back into the office or anything like that, so i still
have my regular nine of five, and I'm like, you know what,
I think I do want to podcast. I want to figure this album and
see what I want to do. And the topic that was right as talking
about sex. I don't know why it feels right, but that feels right.
So it started out with me saying like, you know what I think
I want to do like sex toy reviews or something like that, because at
that point that was so that was actually my first time of playing around and
dabbling insects toys, so I never owned a sex toy until after my thirtieth
birthday, I literally bought myself a sex toy and I was like, okay,
this is fun. Um. So by my first sex toy, I
wasn't wowed, but I wasn't like, oh no, I'm never you know,
doing this again. Then I bought my second sex toy, which was
the Rose. The Rose was my second sex toy and that experience. When
I told that story about how it happened, my friends were just laughing because
they're like, why is everything a joke with you? So I kind of
like told them I set the I set like literally, I'm like, guys,
I almost drowned using that rose And I'm like, how did you almost
drown? And I'm like because I was in the tub and then like I
put it, turned it on, and then I went like thisn't then fell
back in the tub. But it was like the way I told the stories
like super funny, right, So then I was like, you know what
this feels right, Like just me being myself and telling my stories feels right.
But at the time, I didn't even have a name for the podcast.
I just it was just an idea, right. I was like,
you know, what I want to talk about sex, So then I want
to say it was like maybe around March April of twenty twenty one, and
I was high as shit. I like just smoked some weed and I was
doing the dishes, and I was like provocative, like out of nowhere,
like it just came to me it was provocative, and I was like,
but you know what, I'm gonna spell it with a hole in the middle
because now the word is even more provocative. So I took it up it's
not and from there, like I was like, that's it, that's the
name, Like that's me. I feel like I've always seen myself as a
provocative person, Like just the word provocative has always been like like oh my
god, I just of how it rolls off the tongue. It just it
was just one of those things where it's like, provocative is my favorite word,
and I never realized that it was my favorite word until it just said,
like duh, that's the name of the show provocative. And then I
just took it up the notch and it's like, in you know, true
Jodie fashion, I'm like, how do you take something and then make it
even more provocative? Okay, I'm gonna stick a triggering hole in the middle
of this episode too. Triggering yeah. Like yeah, so now everyone when
they see they're like, pro ho evocative, and I'm like, it's just
provocative. Like phonetically you still say provocative, you just kind of you know,
like yeah, so um. But then I was like, okay,
cool, I have a name. Then I started like, you know what
is what is this gonna mean for me? Because provocative literally started at the
beginning of a journey for me. So that's why it means so much to
me as well, because it's like, Okay, now I'm going through you
know what. You know started out it's like the preliminary stage of my whole
phase. This also started out with me finding myself sexually. What is it
that I'm into? How do I want to express myself sexually? And then
it eventually was like, okay, you know what, I like playing games,
So how do we incorporate like gaming into things? So I created the
Provocative Drinking Game. Then eventually, just through the more I learned about sex
and the more I educated myself on sex, and I was like, you
know what, I want to be a sex coach now because now I have
the credentials to be informed to speak on these things. I'm still gonna be
myself, right, still gonna be an entertainer. I'm still gonna crack jokes,
but I will also be able to drop some facts and knowledge and gems
into these episodes as well as a way to yeah, we're joking, but
we're also moving the conversations forward. How are we having some of these controversial
triggering table related conversations in a way that people can say, you know what,
I'm gonna think differently about this moving forward, because I think that's still
you know, we still have some some ways to go when it comes to
that. Oh so uh yeah, that's uh, that's how provocative started.
Uh provocative. Of course, I also still have like T shirts and stuff
like that, so it's like any random thing that kind of comes to my
mind, I kind of sticking on a T shirt, Like for a while,
I'll say like, oh, I'm sad, I think I just need
a little bit ahead. And then I was like, you know, I'm
gonna put that on a T shirt. And then I put it on a
T shirt and it's been well received because people are like, why the hell
would you put that on a T shirt and I'm like, I don't know,
like this is how I feel. I think everybody, you know,
if you're sad, you deserve some head so um that's yeah. It's just
like you know, it's it's a movement for me, right, It's about
people, uh not being uncomfortable with expressing themselves, and it's sexually explicit.
Um as you want to be or how you want to you know, just
share yourself with the world. So I had to of course overcome my own
kind of you know, shame and the barriers associated with my life, and
people have seen me on that journey as well, and I think it's super
important to talk about those different things so that everyone else is like, oh,
you know what, I don't feel uncomfortable living in my truth or you
know, living in my skin because there are so many other people that are
dealing with it. Oh yeah, there's so much to impact there. Like
a bravo to you for one, because I love that. For one,
that we're provocative saying it feels naughty. I don't know if it's just because
of what's behind it, but even the way provocative is rolls off the tongue.
It sounds very naughty. So the fact that that's your the every day
that's the brand, Like it makes me so happy because sometimes I feel like
people will insert the words sensual here and there because they don't want to say
sexual Nope, and so like, let's go straightforward. There's different words.
We're trying to use different words to sweeten it up, and I'm like,
let's be politically correct or softer with it. No, I wanted something that
was in your face because I think that's the easiest or the best way for
you to be comfortable with your sexuality is to take a head one. We
don't kind of oh, let me ease and know what is it that you
like? Figure it out? Like, you don't have to. It doesn't
have to take years and years of self discovery for you to figure out like,
you know what, I'm a freaky motherfucker. You don't have It doesn't
have to be like that. And I feel like oftentimes society makes us think
that it has to be that way, but the honest reality is that a
lot of people are engaging in sex before they even do the exploration of their
body part, right, So it's like there's there's this kind of disconnect with
that where it's like, Okay, you just jumped straight into it because you
didn't have the prior knowledge or you didn't know you weren't like, you know,
a strategic in your approach when it came to say, spressing your sexuality.
And now you kind of have to go backwards and dissect that and figure
out like, oh wait, what is going on here? Why am I
into this or why do I have a dis thing for this or whatever the
case is. So yeah, for it to be in your face, it
kind of forces you to And then here's the thing. Like I talked a
lot about triggering people, right, I love triggering people. That is like,
yeah, I want you to be uncomfortable because now you have to take
a look at yourself and then say, you know what, I'm uncomfortable because
of this reason. Now we can have a conversation. There's always a route.
There's always a route. But I love that you said that, because
like, I've been having sex since I was fifteen. I didn't have my
first orgasm until I was twenty three, so like similar, yeah, similar,
similar, I was having sex at fourteen. I think the very first
time I had an orgasm was when I was nineteen so that's five years of
having sex. And then orgasms is one of those things where you know when
you experience it. Once you experienced it, then it's like, whoa wait,
that is so unlike anything I felt before. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it was funny because my first orgasm I was actually using uh,
I was using a cock ring o word. Yeah. So like me and
my boyfriend at the time, we were like, you know, trying something
new. We went to the sex store for the first time, so this
is my first time the sex store and then I was like, oh,
let's try this, and um, that was the very first time I had
an orgasm. But I had never used sex toys before, you know,
or even after that, so I never used different masturbation purposes. But that
was the first time I used a sex toy and that was my first orgasm.
And then I wasn't really having orgasms again until much later after that.
But I never you know, I'm looking for me in the beginning years of
sex. And this is why on Provocative I have this episode where I was
like, oh my god, like the first six years is we having sex?
I don't know what. There was no benefit to it. There was
literally no real true benefit to me having sex back then, but it took
that reflection right. But when I look back on it and I reflect,
I know that I was just doing some shit. That's what it came down
to. I'm like, oh, this is my boyfriend. I'm having sex
with him, because that is what you do when you're in a relationship.
You have sex with your your purse. That's how you show love, it's
how you show affections. I'm showing you that I care. But yet in
the reality of it, you're having sex for this other person exactly, You're
not having sex for yourself. So it's like now that I'm you know,
you know, I've reflected on my journey, I've started to show I you
know, talk about it so much. I say, like, we really
have to constantly ask ourselves that question, are you having sex for yourself?
Because a lot of people don't and they don't realize that they're not having sex
for themselves. So it's like the difference between owning your own pleasure and your
own sexual expression versus doing it in a transactional sense where it's like we are
in a relationship, so this is what I'm supposed to do, and that's
not the thing. You don't get as much a enjoyment out of it as
opposed to I'm like, no, you know what, we have two people
coming together and we're just we're experiencing each other. Right, It's a different
way of looking at it. Yeah, No, absolutely, And I my
journey with having orgasms was very similar. I had to have a sex toy,
and I think I don't think you were there. I think it was
masturbation, right for what I first time orgasming, Maybe I don't. I
don't think you were there. I think I figured that one out on my
own. But sometimes you have to. Yeah, I didn't have like a
mom or a parent or someone or in my life that says like at some
point you just need to touch yourself and figure out what you like. But
sometimes you just have to go you know, manual. We can't. Sometimes
not everything is automatic. Sometimes you have to go manual and you have just
go down there and touch yourself and figure out, like what do I like?
What does this do? And I kind of did that with a toy
because I've never been much of a hands on person. I don't know why
I still am not. I don't know what it is. I've tried itself
for me, but I always like using exploring with a toy. I figured
this out have my first orgasm. It was like great, and then yag,
that's what it was. Because then I introduced it in the bedroom with
him, and at first he was very put off by it. He was
disappointed by it, like if it's different, But also I think you can
come off as like a shot to the ego if you're not yeah, really
understanding what's happening, you know, And oh gosh. We got a big
fight about it, and I kind of had to break it down for him,
and I'm like, how long have you how long have you been orgasmy
how like since what you were like fifteen sixteen in a sock? Like how
long have you had this? Because I just got this, and you're trying
to take it away from me. And when I put it in that perspective
of like I've never had that feeling of finishing you have and this and I
just figured out that this is the way I get there. Do not take
that away from me, and do not shame me because I just got it.
Don't make me insecure about it. And putting it in those terms I
think was the most like at that point it clicked for him that this is
what I need. It's it is what it is. And then there's all,
of course I've explained to him all of the facts around. I think
it's only like thirty percent of women have orgasms. It's like it's less than
half. It's super super love, it's like and even thirty. Yeah,
like it's a it's a terrible it's very much a terrible percentage. And I
think part of what is associated with that as well is um and you alluded
to it. You alluded to it a little bit. But this idea of
shaming, right, So think about when you're growing up, was sex talked
about in your household or not? For a lot of people, it's an
we don't talk about, right, Like babies just they you know, we
have all these euphemisms. Babies are delivered by storks and they just come out
of nowhere. Right, we are not confidable. So our parents were not
comfortable talking about sex. Our parents parents were not talking comfortable talking about sex.
Right, So we have generations and generations of shaming being passed down to
people. Right, So of course your parents are gonna say, like,
oh, you know what, touch yourself and figure it out. A lot
of people think about like, oh, the first time you got caught,
Like, you know, I've never been caught masturbating because I didn't start masturbating
so much later in life. But I could imagine being a teenager getting caught
masturbating in the stilling a shame because now your parents like, what are you
doing? I can't believe you're in here, you know. So it's like
those ideas of shaming people for trying to explore their bodies, and we even
see it now in adulthood. Like you you try to say, like you
know what, oh, masturbate more, and people are like, why do
you have to masturbate? That's what your partner is there for. It's not
a competition. Yeah, Like I shouldn't have to depend on someone for my
own self pleasure. And it's more so frowned to find when it comes to
women, more so than men, because men, you we you know,
men kind of get to pass right, they're like, okay, you know,
it's like, oh, you're just money man, this is what we
do. But it's still around this idea of shaming. So the more that
we have these actual conversations, the more people feel more comfortable with exploring their
bodies, and it starts before we get to our damn thirties. It's no
way in hell that people have to you know, wait so long in life
and being figure this shit out when we should be doing this, you know,
at a younger age. So but we also it's like, you know,
it's not really an age, and it's like what what is appropriate and
what feels right? It has to be natural. It has to be a
natural transition for sure. Well, and I think like, and something I
love about your show and our showing kind of the other shows in this category
is I still think there's this mentality with culture of like, well, women
don't get horny. Women, women don't get horny. They're not like,
yes, sexual beings, um right. And I think that like almost the
way I get horny in a grocery store in publican I'm like I need to
get I need to go. But I feel like that that's like because it's
kind of still like a societal norm idea. I do think that affects women's
mentality in exploring that. So I think like there's a lot of women that
you know, like you, like Rihanna, who kind of it's not up
until you know, they're late twenties or thirties before they start exploring their own
self and start masturbating. And then you do have that like, oh,
I've spent fifteen or so years not even really understanding how to have sex because
for myself because like I'm not supposed to be enjoying it or or you know,
I'm a woman, so society tells me that I don't quote enjoy sex
or whatever the like mentality is. I just think it's a very common thing
of women not really understanding how to enjoy sex for themselves and tell they're later
in life. And I also love or that when a man is finished,
I'm yeah, yeah, oh that's a good one. Yeah. And I
think that's where, you know, those are barriers that you know, all
women kind of have to break away from, and that's where that liberation comes
from as well, because once you realize what it is that you like,
and it's like, no, if he's finished and I'm not finished, we
have to figure something out because you you know, like, how do we
have that conversation as mature adults who are sexually involved with each other? Like
Okay, maybe it means that you know, we bring in toys so that
I can feel, you know, the same way you're you walk away feeling
you know, complete, and you know, like fool and you know whatever
kind of you know adjective you want to enter it here to, you know,
describe your fulfillment. I want to be fulfilled walking away from this sexual
experience. I don't want to be left hanging, because oftentimes that's what happens,
the woman is left hanging. And I think that comes down to the
fact that four play is not incorporated to sex enough. If four play was
incorporated correctly, a four play should really last. And it's gonna vary from
woman a woman because you know, vagina's volbas are not created equally. But
it takes a woman anywhere between eighteen to forty minutes to be fully aroused.
And when she's fully aroused, the vagina, the vaginal has depthened. So
now you you know, like it's it's it's ready, it's ready. It's
like, okay, do you want to pre cook something or do you want
to throw it in the microwave. So when a woman is fully aroused,
that is when you penetrate her. And if you penetrate her at that moment,
it won't take as long for her to get where she needs to go.
And I think that's the problem too, because everybody want to spit start,
No, take your time, take your tide. It doesn't have to
be rushed. And if four play is again, if four play is done
right, then it won't take a woman as long to you know, have
an orgasm or you know, even just be you know, because orgasm doesn't
necessarily mean that you're finished, right because unlike you know, like typically the
it's about the return time, right, So it's like, oh, a
woman can't experience back to back orgasm and be like no, I'm still let's
go. Let's go like we keep going. Uh not is easy for a
man and he's like, all right, look, give me a minute or
two, let me, you know, get myself situated and then we can
get back into it. But you know, that's you know, just a
difference than like our sexual cycles. But again, what it comes down to
is you know, having a conversation with your partner, making sure that you
guys are doing for play in a way that works for both of you.
So does that mean like, okay, we're doing oral for this amount of
time, or we're gonna do sensual massages, We're going to you know,
incorporate toys. Are what are you gonna do that works for you, guys,
Because that's what it is. It's a conversation that needs to be had.
But oftentimes the conversation is overlooked because it's like will I finished, I
don't know what you're gonna do about it, And that's like that's a very
selfish you know, it's a very selfish approach. Like well, and men
need to like get their egos aside. We've talked about this on the show.
How you know, some women are struggled more or even aren't able to
achieve orgasm through penetration. They need more like a culatural stimulation. So men
need to like kind of get their ego aside and understand like I may need
to bring in a toy, I may need a tool to help me get
get this done. You need to do research or do research or figure that
out. I mean, at the end of the day, like a penis
cannot vibrate the way a toy does. Like yeah, you know, and
here's the thing too, um, just in terms of vibration, men can
benefit sexually from vibration as well, Like they don't experience those different sense sensations,
right, So, um, I know I piece this in my fallacial
class and I say, like, guys, grab you a vibrator and like
put them in his ball and see how you react to that while you're like
giving them head. And then it's like if yeah, so you know,
try different things because that's the thing like men don't oftentimes you know, uh
get those kind of like oh you know what, I'm gonna like massage your
penis in a way that it's like it's it's kind of like a hand job,
but it's like a little bit more essential, right, like let me
let me take care of you in this instance, because I think it's a
cycle. The type of sensuality and sexuality you bring to the bear room as
a woman or as a man will be reciprocated, hopefully should be reciprocated.
Otherwise you're not you know, having sex with somebody gets it truly sexually compatible
with But when it's when you bring that energy into the bedroom, they're gonna
be like, you know what, Oh they did this, let me do
this for them, right, That's how it should go, right, but
yeah, vibration is not just for women. It's for men too. Like
clicks are like little tiny dicks. That's like they have some of the same
you know, parts and organs and you know, feelings and sensations, and
we have to treat them as such. Yeah, no, I agree.
That's here. We got some toy. We got a toy recently from fun
Factory and it was we didn't know it was for how many male toys there
were outside of flush lights, because like, I feel like it's all I
see something to put your penis in, or it's like a doll or something.
But this was like a little rubber handle and you put your pep in
there and it like holes around and it was such a vibe. I was
like, wow, this is so fun. Look at that. A whole
toy toy for a man. Look at that. Yeah. Yeah, and
yeah, there are some toys where it's like, you know, you could
just get a little creative with it, where it's like, oh, you
know what, instead of using the cock ring the way it's typically used,
maybe I put it around my fingers and then I'm like, you know,
put it undeath your balls and give you a blow job while while we do
it and like, oh, how does this feel? You have to figure
it out the same way. I'd tell people that it's important to pay close
attention to your female partners in terms of like what they like and what turns
them on. It's the same guy, it's the same guide when it comes
to penis owners, Like what is it that they you know? And sometimes
they wouldn't won't know that they like it until it's done. So that's the
beauty of playing with toys. You're kind of you experience each other in a
way that it's like, you know, it's shame free. We're trying to
just figure it out together. And I think that works. Yeah, I
think there's a comfortability level that people have to be on with their partner to
know we are just going to play and figure this out. You may you
may finish, I may finish, we may both finish. None of us
might finish because we might just be laughing so hard in my blood. Let's
just go get some lunch. Like there's like a like a practice round,
Like even if you've been together for a long time, like we need to
just sit down and try these things out. And I feel like that's how
it was when we got all those toys because some factory sent us a like
three or four different toys to try out, and yeah, it was like
salt lamp was on, but the science goggles were on. We were like
what is this? Are just sitting here like and that's fun. That's fun,
and it's like it's almost like its own kind of you know. That
is like the best form of intimacy right where it's like there's no shame here,
we're figuring out together. This is a new experience, like you're literally
that's how you know your relationships last longer. That's how you grow your bonds
by experiencing new things together. Like now you have that as like you know,
these kind of you know, these memories these stepping stones for a stronger
bond because it's like, look, you're really my person, like I this
is when it comes to sex and being vulnerable to it infect like that's almost
like the ultimate form of vulnerability, right, But a lot of people want
to they only they want to kind of control that vulnerability, like I'm only
vulnerable to this extent, right, but being completely vulnerable but with someone to
the point where you are using toys and you're laughing and you're like, oh,
this is not work. You must strike something else and it's no pressure.
It's like that is how you can truly figure out out what your partner
like. Hey, beautiful bitches, have you heard of our patreon yet?
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and enjoy all the exclusive benefits to become a very important bitch. Yeah,
And there's like it's like it's weirdly, I don't want to say more,
but it's a very intense intimacy for me. Like the idea and doing that
of where you are just kind of like because it is just a pure enjoyment,
like an all around enjoyment, not just a sexual enjoyment. But when
you're like you're making at the play mound with all these toys, Yeah,
they're you know, story laughing and like just just having a good time even
if it's not working sexually, Like you're just enjoying the experience, which is
it's it's a really nice it's funny and see where there are. We've had
moments where we've done this and then we end up not having sex. We're
just like all right, like we had a good time, Like let's you
are you hungry? Like we just get distracted that there is but it's very
intimate and a very nice moment. Yeah, and when you're in a committed
relationship, you have to be willing because even though now I'll get back to
this because you talk about your whole years, and it makes me really happy
that you refer to it as your whole years, because I call my my
hoeing years, and I feel like that puts people off sometimes I'm like,
well, I don't mean that in a judgmental way. I just think that's
my Like those are my seat active times. I refer to it as my
hoeing years. But when you go through those single active times, you're with
multiple partners. Oh I liked when they did this. I liked when they
did this, you're kind of putting together that exploration of what you like when
you're in a committed relationship, you unless you're you know, you're open and
you're swinging, and that's incredible, But you may not do that. You
kind of have to be that multiple experience or that multiple partner with your one
solo person. Like if I have sex like this all the time, let
me mix it up, Let's try something different, because how am I going
to grow? How is he going to grow in our sexual journey figuring out
what we love, what we like. I don't have all the answers,
although I went through my hoeing years. Yeah, I don't have all the
answers in regards to what he could potentially like that we have never tried.
So just staying open. Yeah, agree. And sometimes what it comes down
to is, again as I say earlier, sometimes you don't know what you
like until you experience it and then you know. That's that's where having multiple
partners in these different people from different places and different backgrounds, they bring that
experience to the table in your life way, What the hell like that was?
I'm okay? I like that Now. Now I can take that experience
and move forward, like I know with me, I've seen like, you
know, social media means where they talk about like body counts and they're shaming
people who are like, oh no, you shouldn't you know, have sex
assist, meeting people whatever, whatever, And I say, like, you
know what, I love when I know that a man has had a way
significantly more sexual experiences than me. And I want to make a distinction between
having a partner and then having experiences, because you could be well experienced and
have the body count doesn't mean anything when it comes to your sexual experience because
you're having quality sexual experiences versus someone who's had a lot of partners and you
are still whack like the you you haven't really learned anything. You're just like
you, you just sticking and going, sticking and going. Like that's not
the same. You have to actually learn from those experiences, right, So
when I talk about experience, I'm like, look, if you've had more
experience than me, and now you're teaching me, we're in a teaching situation,
and now I'm like, oh my god, that's new, that's refreshing.
I've never done this before or I've never felt this way before. And
that's where the benefit of having you know, different partners with different experience than
you comes into play because now it's like, oh, you know what,
I could take this to my next situation and we could have I got now
I know how to apply the experience that we've had together to other situations so
that I can still continue to have sexual fun. Yeah. Is that how
you feel about it? With me having more experience than you? Uh?
Yeah, to a certain extent. But I would say like yours was more
of a wantity versus quality thing. I think that's the big difference. Kind
of like you were saying that, what did you say, stick it and
split it? Um? I don't know. We'll split like split get out
of bickest plays. I like that. So, M I don't know a
hundred percent agree with that. No, No, because you know, interestingly,
going back to what we were talking about four play, the best four
play I've ever had was in high school. So my hoeing years were from
fifteen to nineteen, which is really weird and very young and how good could
it possibly be when you're in high school with inexperienced boys like fair but two
man and I think that's why we put off a little bit with our sexual
journeys as women. I think that because if you have some experience when you're
younger, those the adrenaline and the hormones of doing something sneaky, sneaking into
a window, making out in a hallway when no one's there, are like
you, you put off so many different things because man, kissing alone feels
like the hottest fucking thing you could ever possibly do. Like I always had
all those experiences in high school where they're all afraid to touch me, and
so it's like forty five minutes and making out and they're slowly putting their hand
under my shirt like every five or ten minutes because they're so nervous. Like
that was the bomb, Sure, that was the ship, and that that
kind of workplay was honestly the best because they were and they were all afraid
of having sex. So all we did was for play. We did,
you know, making out during a movie and just like underneath the clothes touching
or when you do get to finally have a handy in a movie theater,
like those experiences felt orgasmic, Like there there's another level to having that type
of adrenaline and hormones when you're figuring all of that out when you're younger,
sure, Yeah, I do want to say that I don't know like um,
when I refer to you know, like my whole years, my whole
experience, my whole journey, I's a it's about intention. For me,
it's very much about intention. We talked about how you have sex for other
people or are you having sex for yourself? And that was the shift.
That was the change. It went from me having sex for other people to
me only having sex for myself and me prioritizing my own pleasure. So for
me, it was like, no, I'm gonna get mad, like the
same way a guy's like, well, I came, what you gonna do?
It was like, no, I'm gonna get mad. So now it's
like, Okay, if I have to bring a sex tooyd here, you
know, into the bedroom and you feel some type of way, then I
know that I shouldn't be having sex with you because this is how I like
it. So now it's like, okay, what are we doing because I
need to put the same the same way that I pleasure you. Because here's
the thing. Me putting a higher emphasis on making sure that I get I'm
satisfied and I'm fulfilled as will does not take away from me wanting to satisfy
you on the process. Because here's the thing men are, you know,
it's I hate to do the men versus woman things, but men are kind
of easily satisfied. It are like, it's easier for you guys to be
satisfied versus a woman who is like, it takes a little longer, but
it's worth it. It's worth it's taking a little longer, right. So
it's like I look at you know, situations, and I'm like, okay,
I remember it was this one guy. I told him, like you
know, he was like, oh, will you could bring a woman into
the bed room? But I don't like sex toys. And I'm like,
see, just for you to say that, I know your mindset. So
now I don't want to have sex with you because it's you're making it about
you. You're making my pleasure about you instead of my pleasure about me.
Yeah. Yeah, and that's a different Yeah, that's like a different conversation.
So it's very awfulitty, but those are you know again, you have
to have those conversations because now you know, like you know what this is
even work for my time. I'm not gonna just have sex with you just
because you want to have sex with me, What am I gonna get out
of it? So that's why even with me, like throughout my whole phase,
I would have sex with the same people over and over again because I'm
like, I know their mindset, we have a similar sexual mindset, and
I know that I'm going to be fulfilled coming out of this. But you
know the ones where it was like, oh, we had sex and then
I didn't have sex again with you, it's because I'm like, no,
we either weren't sexually compatible, we didn't have the same mindset. No,
I tried, it didn't work. I'm not even gonna give it another chance
because I know it's not worth it. Versus someone where I was like,
no, I like love the way they approach sex. Yeah, so here
we can we can we can have fun. We can have fun here.
Oh there, it's like, no, we can't have fun over there.
I love that with intention? Yes, yes, you know, yes,
you have to look we we we you do all these other things with intention.
Why not be intentional with your couchee, Like, let's let's let's put
that out there, like, let's be intentional with our sexual choices and our
sexual intention, because I think that's what it comes down to, Like when
you say, like, you know what, I'm going to have a good
experience because I'm gonna do my part to make sure and ensure that I'm gonna
have a good experience. So what does that mean? Does it mean I
have certain types of conversations with this particular partner. Doesn't mean that I bring
toys and I communicate that up front, and I'm honest and I'm transparent.
As long as you do your part, you can't be blamed if the sex
is not good because you did your part. You didn't just lay there and
take it. Because I tell people too, it's like, okay if you
don't, if you just lay there and take it, you can't just say
it was all on them because you have a mouth. You can't communicate like
you don't have to have sexlessness person, that's part. It's not pleasuring you,
or it's not pleasing you have a conversation, figure that out. So
fact, we just to bring our convo to a little clothes. We have
a an anonymous sex hotline, and okay, I would love the opportunity to
play one of these for you, and then we'll talk a little bit about
it. We've not heard these ahead of time, so there's a chance there's
a chance whom I listen to one and listen to a different one. We've
had a few leave them and they're like not serious, and I'm like,
okay, well on to the nice, nice, nice, Yeah, let's
let's give it a listen. I kind of want to do that. We're
provocative at some point, but nobody has been leaving me voicemail, so I
don't know eventually, and we had not listened to these ahead of time,
so it'll be fresh for both of us. And doing this with the guests
is our first time, so you're gonna be a bit of a guinea pig
here. Yeay, yay, Okay. So I hooked up with this guy
from Kinder, my first ever Kinder hook up. It has only as of
the farm, and he was pretty into some things I had never done before,
including he like taking my stocks off and licking my feet and then wanted
me to like his feet put his toes in my mouth, which I had
never done before, nor was I really interested in doing. But there's just
some giggles. I did it anyways, and I wasn't really into it.
But I think he was. And then turns out the next time we hung
out, I talked to him about it and I said, so, you're
really into feet. He's like, no, not really, you know.
I was like, but you licked my feet and you wanted me to lick
yours. He's like, yeah, I just wanted to try it, and
that was my first time ever doing that, and I felt a little bit
like we could have communicated that, but also what better time to do it
than with a total stranger and just try anything. You can always say no,
and I appreciated that he was willing to be adventurous and exploratory like that,
even though I didn't like it, and I told him that next time.
I was like, yeah, I wasn't really into that, and I
don't think he was either. But she liked it enough to want to try
it, I guess. And it was kind of funny. It was weird,
it was funny, and I learned from her. So that's my confession
for now. I had to hold my laugh in. Um, I think
that was okay. So these are kind of my immediate thoughts on that she
went into someone who was exploring a kink, and I think all of there
are a lot of people that have kink um explored or unexplored either, but
being adventurous and being open to explore that like she could have easily said like
no, I'm not I'm not doing it, like she could she could have
said no, but she kind of went with it and was open to the
experience. So I love when people are sexually open and sexually curious and you
know, not shaming someone for wanting to explore something because on I mean,
even though she wasn't into it, what if she was into it? What
if that was the situation that she would have found out Like oh wait,
you know what. Wait I didn't think I would like this, but I
do now because I've had that situation before where probably like I'm really big on
dental hygiene, Like I've never so much as had a cavity, right,
So I've had braces, I've never had a cavity. I go to the
dentist, They're always saying, like, you know, you have great dental
hygiene whatever. Right, So when it comes to spitting in mouth, for
a long time, I was like, oh my god, why would you
want to spit in someone's mouth? Fast forward, I could be doing a
spinning. You could be doing a spitting like you know, we like,
I'm cool with it, right, But if there was a point in it
wasn't until I was doing it. I was like, oh, you know
what, whatever fear or shame that you know was in my head that prevented
me from doing it in the past is no longer there. So now I'm
a little bit more open, right. Um Me personally, I've never sucked
on anybody's toes. Um, I don't know. It's one of those things
where it's like, once you're in the situation, you'll know what you're what
you're willing to do right. It has to feel right, like it can't
be forced at all. Um So I and I will say this, I
am super grateful for at the end her acknowledging that she kind of reflected on
the process, and I was like, oh, you know what, I
can appreciate this man for trying something because a lot of men are reluctant to
try new things in a nice way. When someone approaches me and it's like,
hey, I saw you from across the room, I heard you speaking
like I really would love to get to know you. Is it a possibility
that we can exchange information when people come to you really respectfully. I'm like,
no, but I really appreciate for putting yourself out there because approaching people
and new people is really hard. So you keep doing it. Keep doing
that. I'm unavailable, but keep doing that, Like, I get very
appreciate it. I was gonna say, the boldness of this guy to like,
and it's implied in here that it was their first hook up together,
but the boldness firm to us, like throw himself on the cliff out there
to see, like, hey, you want to try this? Maybe it's
like what she said, like what a better time than with a stranger?
I guess what a stranger? I guess. It's like when you know someone
you kind of you, you don't want to disappoint them. You don't want
them to fill any type of way about you. You don't you know.
It's like all of these uh kind of insecurity yeah right, um that come
into play when you know somebody versus somebody you don't know. It's like,
I don't give a damn what you think. I'm probably never gonna see you
again. Yeah. I also like, no, no, go ahead,
Like I definitely think that's what it came down. Dude. I definitely think
it's easier for you to do something when it comes to a stranger because then
there's no there's no real shame associated with it, Like you don't have to
look at them the next day and be like, oh my god, I
can't be like yeah, I'm not talking about down and cover my face and
we don't have to talk about this every It doesn't ruin the dating experience.
Like I was dating this guy and wanted to sue like, yeah, yeah,
I was gonna say. I also like how it seems like this person
didn't necessarily have like you know, you think of like a kinker or an
interest of being like, boy, boy, I really want to suck on
feet, but it sounds like this guy I kind of didn't have that and
was just like I've never tried it. Yeah, let's try it and see
maybe it'll open up something. I think that's a really interesting and like another
very like good for you like to just try ship even if it's not there's
not this thing in you that's like, hey, I really want to do
this, but like just giving it a shot. Well, it could be
a situation like um, like with you you say you're not into feet,
you're into my feet. Yeah, maybe she had beautiful feet. Maybe he
saw his feet he was like, yeah, I'll try that last Travis.
But I on the flip side, he didn't want her to suck his feet
too, So I don't there's a whole thing going on. Yeah, Like
I think he was just exploring different kinks. I think he's just trying to
figure out what his kink is. Yea, and it maybe feet, it
maybe I don't know, elbows like people, it could be anything like what
are you like, Oh my god, I just really want to all up
your elbows or something like. It's this big spectrum of where you can fall
when it comes so like your personal kinks or your fetishes. And I think
he's probably just exploring that. So he is. Probably he has a list
of things and he's like, I'm gonna try these and figure it out feet
and wasn't impressed onto the next or he may try it again and be like,
oh, Okay, this is a better experience. I mean that's how
I felt the first time I tried anal, Like I tried antal for the
first time, I was like no, And then the second time I was
like Okay, we're getting somewhere, so it might be one of those things.
Well, my rule is I'll try anything three times. The first time
for the initial shock and I don't know what's happening. The second time for
I'm not shocked at what's going to happen. I can prepare myself and figure
out how to enjoy it or how to do it. And then a third
time like, okay, I know what to do. I need to figure
out if with me having knowledge and practicing, if this is for me,
so that ye usually my role. I agree. I definitely think if you
try something three times under different circumstances, it'll provide different you know, you'll
get different feedback, you'll basically acquire different knowledge from those three times trying.
You don't try something once. I'm like, nope, yum. If it
got you interesting enough to try it that first time, I think it's worth
trying a second and third time for sure. Well, Jody, it's been
so much fun talking with you. Where would you like people to find you
and provocative? Yes? So you can find me on Instagram. That's probably
my go to app. I'm on Instagram the most, Jody. The free
costs my handle is at Jody Provocative. That's j O d Y p R
h O E d O c A c A v E. That was the
word hope because we all got some home on us. Perfect. But yeah,
so I'm on Facebook, but Facebook is kind of you know, it's
like, y'all don't really got to follow me. There is at Provocative.
You could definitely find me there, But I post the most content on Instagram
for sure. Provocative is on all streaming platforms, so you can find Provocative
on Apple, Podcasts, Spotify, Google, Amazon, wherever you listen to
podcasts, iHeartRadio, all of that good stuff. You can find me there.
And what else The Provocative website that's where you can get merch from.
So that's provocative dot com and the Yeah, I'm yeah. I'm working on
getting the visual parts of Provocative once to YouTube by June, because the to
your anniversary of Provocative is on six nine, the National Sex Day, So
I want to drop like all of the visual content on YouTube by then,
so then people will be able to see, like, you know, the
crazy face expressions I make when I tell these funny stories. So yeah,
but Instagram, oh yeah, Like Instagram is definitely the best place to find
me. If not, on all of the podcast streaming app you can listen
to me and we'll provide all those details in the episode description as well,
so it's easy for people to find Joey's Instagram and website. I didn't.
Is there anything you'd like to add before we No, just thanks, thanks
for coming by and talking to us. Yeah, you guys are great,
Like we have fun on my show when you guys came and we talked about
intimacy everything. When I talk to you guys, it's a good time.
So great. Yes, all the way around. You guys are amazing.
Thank you so much for having me on your show. Thank you again for
coming on at the provocative of a couple of months ago. It's a really
great episode. But yeah, we're gonna keep driving the converence, the sexual
conversation forward. I think though, that's really what's needed in our industry for
sure. Absolutely, well, Hill next time. Thank you again for joining
us on today's episode. I had so much fun chatting with you, and
for all of you incredible listeners out there, you beautiful bitches, stay horny.
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