What's going on? Everybody? This is Eric Busy and this is another episode
of ignorant philosophy with me, myself, Eric, and my brother Keen and
mister who the fuck are you? And we were so wrapped up in the
conversation that we actually forgot to do an intro. Keenan was going to watch
the Super Bowl, so we didn't get to kick this episode off with the
song my Bad. I smoked two days in a row. I smoked Friday
and I smoked yesterday last night. And when I smoked, man, I
get super super I ain't gonna say I get paranoid, but it's something like
paranoida. I don't know what it is exactly, but it had me opposed
to me being scared and like post, it just had you had you too
aware, nigga, what more aware than you wanted to be? What I
had? Like, why am I sitting there? Why am I just looking
around and thinking about shit too much? And I was like, I just
I just was calming myself down most of the most of the high, because
I feel like when I get when I get high, a lot of the
questions that I have about life start popping up. You start thinking about you
do you just start thinking about ship like my biggest, my biggest question last
night. Let me turn me down a little bit. Ship just start popping
in your damn head. You have your hot thoughts and you have your real
thoughts. I don't having hot thoughts no more like hot thoughts. My hot
thoughts now should be real every time, every single time. Bro. So,
one of the questions that I had asked my wife was because we got
to move and this might be just too trans well I don't know if it's
trans too transparent or not. But we lived here since twenty two, I
think, and pay rent on time. Neighbors love us. They sent us
a the property management has been changed three times since we lived here, so
they sent us a message. The new property manager they acquired the they acquired
this house maybe like two and a half months ago maybe, and they sent
us a message was like y'all can't renew y'all least. I'm I'm saying it
short, but it was a long email to say y'all can't renew y'all leaset.
So I thought it was something that we did. So I messaged them
back, like was it you know what I mean? That we suck up.
It was their complaints, you know what I mean. The rent ain't
been late, so I'm confused. It was like, Nah, the owner
of the house just wants it to once new. Uh. He didn't say
they want new tenants. They want it empty. And it could be for
renovations. It could be because they want to double the rent because that's the
only way they want to be able to get double the rents to kick us
out, you know what I mean. It can't go up two hundred man,
maybe they could, I don't know the rules. But so my wife
is upset about that. So we got to we're moving in. We're inheriting
her parents' crib, which is a blessing because we don't got to go through
the whole house buying process. And me and my wife really just some lazy
niggas because we was like, even when we got married, we didn't want
to have a big service. So we're kind of happy that it COVID happened,
so we had an excuse not to have a big wedding. And we
don't want to plan or think about buying a house because that's just way out
of our comfort. Like just it just seems like a lot, and that's
just me and my wife both don't want to do it. So we was
looking at it like now we got to move into this house, and my
questions that my wife was, I was like, are we failing? Like
am I failing that I do something wrong? Because granted they telling us we
can't stay here, so it's not even but I wass just but I was
just like I couldn't help but think like that ain't got nothing to do with
failure, I know, But how do you, as a man, how
do you know if you're failing or not? Or is it because I keep
I keep telling myself for I keep thinking like it's a marathon, right,
like like Nipsey said, it's a marathon, and a lot of that shit
didn't make any sense when he was alive, and a lot of that shit
didn't make sense right when he died. But when I pay rent, instead
of me thinking that bill's a bill, cycle is a finish line, I
just look at it like, oh, it's a marathon because it's never going
to stop. It's never going to stop. Life is like as long ass
marathon, and it's just I don't know. I just felt like as a
man, I feel like one, I don't have no control because they telling
me I got to go. But on the other hand, I am fortunate
that I got a place to go, you know what I'm saying, because
we got to be out by June, so we got four four months.
I was like, Nigga, if we didn't have your mom's crib, I
would have felt like a failure because we had to come up with deposits,
We had to come up with the move and and shit like that with three
kids. I was like, bro, I would have felt like brou I'd
have been I mean, I understand I'll be dead feeling like a failure as
well. So sh is this something that I don't I don't like that feeling,
And I feel it the most when I get high, because I start
noticing things like when I get high, you're like, man, let me
clean up this motherfucking house. Let me. Then I start noticing that it's
all my ship, you know, Like what the fuck? I'd be like,
damn, my wife must be tired of me, tired of me.
Man, God damn, let me start cleaning up around here. Man,
I be thinking I'd be killing it, But I mean I am, But
you feel me so I have to ask. I have to ask, and
I know that she don't. I know that because sometimes you might think that
you're doing everything that you supposed to, but we be slacking, yeah,
and I be, and I want and I want somebody to let me know
that I'm slacking. Like I posted, I posted a like an idea to
Patreon for black Widow and uh, one of the patrons was like, you
know, this ain't this. Ain't it. It was like it was like,
this ain't it. This is not what we expect. This is not
what I expected. You you kind of raise our standards of audio. So
this ain't this? Ain't it? And I knew. I knew that uploading
it. When I read it, it's thumb and she she deleted it,
but I messaged her and I was like, yo, I really needed that
because the next one that I uploaded was crazy. But I say all that.
I say all of that to say, sometimes I need to know when
I'm lacking and I don't know if nothing. Yeah, and sometimes I'd be
thinking in my head like are y'all just allowing me to It's kind of like
do I got spinach in my teeth? Like you go all day with spinach
and your teeth book right here, and you're just gonna let my BUTU you
just you just let me walk around this book, not even just one person,
a bunch of mother bunch of mother thought. I thought y'all were my
friend walk around this my fucking booger and spinach of my im telling you,
hey book right there. Yeah, I don't even know. I don't even
know why that's so. That feels so weird to tell somebody it. Do
be feeling with because it because people don't you don't know how motherfucker's gonna take
it. You got people that sensitive and they feel like you're trying to embarrass
me, Like, no, nigga, that's why I whispered it to you,
motherfucker. That's why nigga, I could have been like you could have
been on your nigga. I'm letting you know. That's that's the That's what
it's been on the forefront of my mind. Is just like life, Like
I ain't even watch that mother fucking uh the Monique ship. I don't give
a fuck about what I don't. I mean, I I just seen it,
like snippers of it. But it's ship we already know now at this
point, So it's like I don't give a fuck about what money got going
on or what money talking about. Yeah, all the world, I mean,
we know the world's fucked up. So it's like I don't know.
I just I be well, she just basically said the same shit was saying,
like should we already know? I mean basically the ship like some of
the other ship it was, I mean, just just show you, motherfuckers
is fucked up, man, and it's and it's definite high power and it's
in it's motherfuckers that I'm not gonna fuck that up for you. I was
talking to a friend in La. We're talking about niggas just being shady,
the business being shady and shady. You're thinking that it's gonna be, you
know, a network, like building your network. Yeah, you should build
your network, but a lot of the times your network might not you might
not fit the agenda of your network. Right now, I feel like it's
women's empowerment. I feel like it's Black women empowerment right now. So it's
over for niggas. Like women are getting women are hiring women instead of hiring
the best person for the job, for sure, and I feel like they're
doing. Some of them are doing the same thing that white men are doing
that they're complaining about. Y'all are doing the exact same thing, and you
can't really talk about it because not a lot of people are experiencing. Not
women are. Women are not experiencing it because it's other women, but men
are experiencing. But we can't complain about ship, you know what I'm saying,
Like, we can't just go around, yeah, complaining about the things
that women do. We can, but it makes it look like a bitch,
Yes, look like a weak ass nigga. You just got up.
Yeah. Yeah. But the the other thing that that's bothering me now is
the situation that you're going through, bro, Like that ship. That ship
really things like to think about, to think to think that that you can
go out that way. Never in a million years you can go never never,
That's what it just when it ship, it's just unexpected, Like I
know, you know what I'm saying, He had his heart surgeon and ship
like that. But to think that it would be like that, it's crazy.
Yeah. Yeah, I still don't even really know how to accept it.
Do you want to tell the listeners what's happening or no, I mean
the extent, but yeah, if most of them followed me, doesn't know
my father passed. Yeah, no, I don't know when he passed,
but you know they found on in his apartment on on Monday on the fifth.
So that's what me and my family been dealing with. Yeah, that's
just And I was I was texting you earlier about the ship that I'm going
through, and you text me back with that. I was like, let
me just shut my bitch ass up. Let me just because I was like,
man, I would be devastating, and I figured, but you don't
got Facebook, so I knew you wouldn't know. No, I see that
ship, but I feel like I don't know. I was talking to stuck
into a group of niggas, and I was just like, man, I
just really wish that y'all would just take care of your heart, no for
your body, your body, like and it sounds and that's just what it
was. Like my sister, my aunt, they don't want to talk to
him every day, his big sister and then his oldest daughter. It was
just my sister, and you know, they used to tell him like he
didn't want to like get disability, like he didn't want to do none of
that. He trying to get back to work, you know what I'm saying,
Like they were telling him to chill, relax. You know what I'm
saying, take care of yourself and things like that. Go to the doctor.
And you know that me and we are priud bro, we just are
Pride is fucked up. The craziest thing about all of that is like when
you go to the doctor. I don't know when the last time the men
listening to this podcast went to the doctor. When you go to the doctor,
had him check your blood pressure, had him check it, check a
cholesterol, had him check all of this shit. And what scary is is
when they tell you that your blood pressure is elevated. That's scary because you
don't think that it can happen to you. So I can only imagine what
it must feel like for somebody to say you gotta have heart surgery, or
you gotta do something, you know what I mean, something drastic, Like
once your dad was passing. It just seems like he just would not accept
it. Bro, Like Nigga lost maybe like a nigga, like a skeleton,
bro before he passed, like a skin on top of a skeleton.
And he still was like, yeah, when I get home. I was
like, nigga, you not leaving here, Like at no point, at
no point did it ever registered to him that it was over. And I
think that I think that goes to what you were saying about men and pride,
like yeah, because I think he rushed. He wanted to get out
of the hospital so bad, like he just wanted to be home. So
it's like, I got my eyes. It's just I don't know, man,
shit crazy niggas need to start taking care of their bodies for sure.
And that's why I was taking a walk before we recorded, because I felt
like my body. I know, I've talked about the pain that I be
knowing niggas can feel. You feel your body changing. That's a fact for
real. That's a fucking fact. You can feel when your body is stressed,
like when I when I smoke too, I can feel all of the
tight spots in my body, bro all of them. And I was talking
to see her last night. I was like the pain that like if I
don't go, if I don't work out too, if I don't do two
days, that pain gonna come back. I can feel it. And I
was so terrified of that pain that I could just be. I just might
have became a hypochondriac because I didn't go to the gym for like three days,
and I just felt like a fat bitch. So I just felt like
something. I know, I feel fat. I'm never like two old eight
or some ship like that. Oh no, you're straight man, Hell no,
not for me. I ain't used to this ship. This ship feels
he feel heavy. But dj DJ sent me a picture of us at Luther
Crib when we was recording there. He was like nigga. He was smaller
than a pitch and I was super small. I don't ever want to be
that small again. But I was like one eight. So I'm I'm cool
with the two hunting, you know what I'm I just need to tone up.
Yeah, but I feel like I feel like, you know, solid.
I don't know our moods listeners, I'm sorry, but our moods is.
My mood ain't there. But I still but I wanted to record because
we did record last week for my mood ain't. My mood ain't there.
And it's not that I'm not I'm optimistic about things, but I just don't
know, like what am I supposed to be doing. Man, That's what
I was asking here last night, Like like I was recording the Black Widow
shit and I was high, and I don't I done came up with some
new ship. Because I came up with some ship like me reading stories and
supposed to be having actors. I find a way to like streamline and ship
and I feel really good about it. And then one of the listeners send
me this program to where I can make ambient music to go underneath me talking,
and I was like, Yo, this ship is fired. So I'm
doing that ship and I smoked and I was like, it's kind of one
of those things like why do you think this is gonna work? And I
had to talk to myself like, well, it has worked, it has
it has worked, you know what I mean? But that self doubt,
that self doubt. I was like, am I am I supposed to do
this forever? Because it always be having self doubt, Like when it comes
to the clothes, I'd be like I should do this or do that.
Nouck ain't gonna fuck with this. I basically be doubting, you know what
I'm saying, what I should do or how you should do? Thinking motherfucker
ain't gonna fuck with it, but they don't fuck with almost everything I have.
Yeah, So I don't know. I just need to be I really,
I just need some help with that ship. Like I can't keep doing
it by myself. I don't even got like the imagination and thoughts process.
Yeah, I think I think too. It's just like a level of trust
because we all have people in our corner that can help us. But just
reaching out to ask for help, Yeah, it just seems like pride again
because I be nothing. I'm cool. I don't want to. I just
don't want to have to hold nobody ship. I'm gonna give it back to
you, but I just don't. I just know people, which I don't
think. I got no niggas that to do that. We was to ever
get to me and my niggas don't even really ever get into it. But
like if we was too, I don't got no niggas that I feel thought
in my face, like nigga, we ain't sit there when you ask me
for that money or shit like that. So I don't. It's just I
don't feel like asking nobody for nothing, and I just leave it at that.
Now I feel like I. For me, I've just I had to
reverse engineer what my problems was. Once I figured out what my problems was,
it was easy for me to try to figure it out, figure out
a solution, like just really being honest about what my problems was and not
the imaginate, not the imagine, the made up problems. Yeah, I
know. I know my problems too, so I just need to to My
problem was that I just couldn't. I couldn't create the stories fast enough.
And I want to record. I want to put out ship now. I
want to put out ship multiple times a week. I was talking to the
podcast company that I host through and it was like, it's a nigga to
upload every day. I said, how the fuck did he do that?
We was just talking about dude, post god damn thirty goddamn videos a day.
Yeah, like he probably he probably jobless, Yeah but still though I
don't even think if I was jobless, I can do that. Yeah,
I think too. For me, I was thinking about this shit too.
I was like, Man, I've mastered creating while needing a job. I
think a lot of niggas don't create when they need jobs, like all of
my mixtapes. Think notice Flying Colors three or two. All of the mixtapes
that I've ever made, I made because I was homeless, and look back
on that shit, I was like, why the fuck was I writing a
song when I needed money to eat? What the fuck was I'd been thinking
about that shit? And I was like, am I doing that right now?
Like? Am I? You know what I'm saying? Like, I
just be questioning myself and questioning like the gifts that I have and because I
don't know if it's delusion or that, Like, as a human being,
we can make anything makes sense. Bro, we can do something dumb ass
shit and find a reason to do the dumb ass I think I think really
went in today's world is just a motherfucker seeing your face all the time,
like a motherfucker keep seeing you is what I feel attract people who you and
then eventually you could just people just go from there, like because it's a
lot of people today that youd just be like, how the funk? Why
the fuck are people following you like this? But they just like I hate
you, Like it's there's people I don't even follow, but I see that
ship because of other motherfuckers, and I just be like, why don't follow
you like, but it's just because they just keep popping up in your motherfucker
face and eventually, like that song you hate, but you keep hearing it.
Eventually, I hate that song. But for some reason I thought that
was I thought somebody else too. I never knew what's the bitch name from
loving him? That's why I thought it was too on my mama. I
thought it was but that song, I hate it, but a girl.
But I catch myself singing this ship in my in my head, no,
just like, and I'd be like, I'll be mad, like get this
ship out of my head. Bro, Like I heard us all fucking two
weeks ago then for the first time, and I hate that ship already.
I heard it. I listened to it. I think last night, that
night before last, she was like, twin, I just heard the whole
song because I think she talking about a girl, because she said it's your
perfume, and man, do not wear perfume. But old people, damn
there call everything everything perfume perfume. No. I just I think I wouldn't
be surprised though, if she is. I think that. I think what
I realized over the weekend was I only need a certain amount of people in
this whole world to fuck with me and fuck what I create. And I
had to figure out what that number was. And now that I now that
I know what that number is, I can aim for that number and I
can stop wondering what that number is, or what the number would be,
or what the like, just for me to feel financially secure. And then
I was like, Okay, if I got that number, Okay, what
can I create quickly? All right? Cool? Streamline boom record this day,
boom boom. Like It's like it's like as a content creator, if
anybody out there as a content creator or you create anything and you want other
people to consume it, I think the best thing to do is is to
realize that humans are numbers. Humans are numbers, and and you can and
you can damn look up anything you want about human beings. It's kind of
like we're fucking animals. Bro. You can look up nigga, you can
ask chat GPT anything you want to know about motherfucking human beings and it will
tell you and you use that to your advantage. But I think that too
often people are relying on art to come out of thin air, and that's
why they that's why they don't necessarily work. But not if you if you're
doing your clothes. I guess it's just figuring out what motherfuckers is buying the
most of them. Yeah your crad, Yeah for sure. I just need
to just get I just need to start stop worrying about what other motherfuckers thinking.
Ship. Just live my life and just it is because I don't like
because I don't like confrontation and ship. I don't. I don't like because
I want to. I will fuck you up, like like I don't.
I be trying to stay away from that type of ship. So motherfuckers.
That's what he was talking about yesterday. Like with social media, like it's
it's a love and hate thing, Like I love it because people can get
bread off of it. It's funny, it's entertaining, but then it's very
negative and energy draining, and I just be nothing on that ship sometimes just
looking at the comments that people just can say whatever the fuck they want to
say and not even mean it. But people say the meanest ship on there,
and it's just like for what, bro, Like why are y'all this
negative niggas? Is unhappy? Just weak and I'll beat you up if I
see you like I think, I think I had to think. I had
to come to that conclusion too, because with with with Black Widow, it
just got to be a certain level of sexy. And if I'm if I'm
worried about what my nigga's gonna think when they hear it, I can never
create what women need to actually hear. So I got a mo own.
I gotta talk sexy. I got a whispering ship. If I'm overthinking,
like oh, if the niggas donna claim really it's ship like that too,
like that make niggas like nah, I'm like, yeah, that's just stupid
because my kids still gotta eat. Fuck them niggas. And and what I
realized too, Nigga, when I'm when I'm busy with Black Widow, I
ain't even on my phone. So if my wife ain't coming in here joning
on me, I really won't even see what niggas are saying. You know,
But nigga, but motherfuckers ain't though, you know what I mean.
It's it's dinner acting at the end of the day. And ship motherfucker's watched
it with all that shit in it all the time. Bro, I am
selling. I am becoming these women fantasies basically, that's all that. That's
what And I just it dawned on me, like, bro, this is
what you're providing. Bro, this is this? Is it? Like?
Fuck all that funk, all that trying to tell great story type, No,
nigga, find out what they want you to, find out what they
want to hear, and tell it to them one hundred times over. Fuck
what you think, nigga, Just make it sound good because I ain't.
I ain't the most romantic nigga, gotcha, I ain't either, But I
will read the funk out of a story though, So I will read the
fuck out of a story that will make it sound fucking amazing. But yeah,
I had to realize, like, nigga, just ask act your homegirls
for help, Like, just ask them, Hey, what's you think of
this story? This story? Does it read cool? Yep? I like
this just bad? I got it. It's just asking for help. And
then you know the community that the community that you have around you goda develop
a certain level of trust. And I don't think I trust it or trust
niggas like that because niggas is trash because one thing about it one thing about
niggas is and not niggas asn't black people, but niggas asn't niggas. Anybody
can be a nigga. Niggas are big for your fucking attention and don't even
want it for real and give you a fucking excuse. Why the fuck are
you telling me about whatever? Yeah? Why the fuck are you giving me
this excuse? That's why I don't be paying attention to people. When I
be out and they be bringing up the clothes or talking about they gonna get
this or there, I'll be like, all right, whatever, nigga,
nigga, what nigga? You ain't gonna even remember nigga tomorrow? Like yeah,
no, no, And I'm not about to be chasing y'all niggas around
and none of that. Y'all won't get it. I'll tell them. I'm
my whole ship. So what are you doing to clear head with all that
ship that's going on right now? I just play the game. That's facts.
My niggas be on there. We just be on there two K call
duty whatever, just laughing. There's always some funny ship that mofucker do while
we're on the game. So I love I love how men find ways to
be supportive because because it doesn't look like how women do it. Niggas are
niggas make we make ourselves available and we and we and we make sure that
the conversation sways the way it's supposed to for the person that we're trying to
comfort. So yeah, shout out to the homies man, because I don't.
My thing is I don't really go through ship a lot. So when
I do, your niggas better show the fuck up. No for real,
that's how we're feeling though. Ship. I don't be going through too much,
like because that's why I say, like this ship, I don't even
understand it, Like I don't even know how I'm spposed to feel like that's
bro. I just asked my wife that I was like, hey, man,
I do not know. I just like I know I've been crying and
ship. But it's just like when I just think about certain ship, right,
But like I was telling like, life is just it's just weird,
like and then when something like I was just thinking something, I was just
like when somebody died. Bro, this ship just seems so selfish. It's
like we selfish because it's like because it's like y'all die, We give y'all
this celebration, like celebrate like I don't know, but they pass away.
We gonna miss them. We hurt, but we supposed to just be happy
and eat and celebrate and then just go on with our fucking day for for
the rest of our lives and know we won't forget but eventually not saying forget
about somebody, but basically we just got to live our lives and just forget
about them, you know what I'm saying. That that trunk of space that
they took up is gone now, it's just weird, Like, yeah,
I was thinking about I was thinking about that before. But I think you
know, at the end of the day, nobody told us that we was
gonna be here this long. Yeah, Like I don't know when you told
me that. When you told me that ship, I was like, man,
I keep thinking or acting like the people that I need to go see
are gonna be here forever, and we would just get like get not just
getting but we've been you know, working on it, getting better, communicating
better, hanging, going to eat shit like that. That's what I was
thinking about. So it's like, damn. In regards to trauma. You
spend most of your life upset at the person upset and then they die.
Yep, that's why. Well I wanted to make a post, but I
didn't. But I'm just just like, you really love somebody, let them
know, Like, yeah, I think because holding a grudge or anything like
that, that shit, it'd be too late. And it's always like that.
I think I was when I was younger, early ignorant. For last
few days, I couldn't grasp I couldn't grasp grasp the idea that love looked
different for people. So like, my grandparents have called me twice in the
past two months. My grandparents have called me twice before that, they called
me twice in the past ten years. So when they called me again,
I let to see her, like we might have to go to Gary because
I don't know why they keep calling me. And it was only twice,
but I said, they keep calling me. And when they when they called
the second time, I face timed them. I answered, but I faced
down them back, and I was like, oh shit, y'all getting old.
Oh fuck. I was like, man, how old are you?
There was like seventy one. I'm seventy one. She's seventy three or vice
versa, and I was like, I'm acting like I got forever to try
to figure out a way to tell them I love them, And I got
to figure out a way to tell them so that they receive it, not
tell them in the way that I would want to be told, because quiet
has kept my whole life. I just wanted to be accepted by them.
And if they die before I get to tell them that, I'll be devastated.
As hard as I'm trying to play, I want you to accept me.
I want you to love me. I want to be the reason why
I am the way. The reason why I am the way that I am
with my kids is because of y'all. Because I want my kids to never
have to question that. But you know, one day you might get a
call and this Boom's over and it's like, fuck, bro, Like I'm
so worried. I'm so wrapped up and having a move and paying rent and
doing the bills and making sure my back ain't hurt and my stomach ain't too
big, and then boom, I forgot to go kick it with donnad or
forgot to go kick it with you know. That's how I be though.
That's how I be feeling. That's why I'll always be like, man,
twenty four hours ain't enough because it's like I'll be trying to do this and
do this, and I somebody's gonna get left out. Yeah, yeah,
And that's my problem. I'm trying to make everybody happy, try to fit
everybody in my life. You can't. You can't, bro, you can't.
And I don't want to be I don't want to be that nigga that
just they like his wife, he'd be at home with his wife all the
time, or they be doing We're gonna be doing shit. But be in
parents, bro, we be tired, be tired as fuck at the end
of the day after being a parent, and I'll be feeling like other parents
should understand, but other parents do not be understanding. Other parents want me
to make the sacrifices that they didn't make. I'm not dry, bro,
No, I'm not going anywhere. But like I said, listeners, the
mood is weird, and I feel like, you know, when I get
online and I look at certain posts and I look at certain comments, I'll
be realizing that a lot of people are feeling the same way too, Like
what the fuck, am I what to be doing? Bro? Like like
like people who can't find a job, like I'm wanted them. People I
can't find a job, Well I got one, but I want a new
one. I'm like, bro, what the fuck is going on? But
it's just the world. They're laying people off at these big ass corporate jobs,
like they're laying a bunch of people off. You're talking about the COVID
star back up there, just talking about It's just a bunch of bullshit that's
going on on the outside of the world that could affect us, and it's
fucked up. It's like the supposed to stay above water. My nigga,
y'are keeping your foot on my fucking forehead trying to keep me under the water.
Yeah, And I gotta try to be happy to I gotta not I
gotta not let this ship affect me. And I gotta stress strong, tired
man, for real. I mean I should not be this hard. I
think that's what and that's why I'll be thinking in my head what the fuck
am I supposed to be doing? Because stressing about stressing about this ship ain't
ain't ain't ain't ain't it, And everythinking in my head, am I am?
I am? I tieing financial status to my importance in my own life,
Like do I do I think I'm a piece of ship because I don't
have a certain amount of money, or or do I believe everybody thinks that
of me? You know what I'm saying? Like, well, I mean,
I know everybody don't think money is a lot, but I don't.
I don't think money got nothing to do with us. People just love us
because cool. I don't want the motherfucking like me because I got money or
because of money, because if you do, then I don't fuck with you,
cause BIT want to be around. I don't think anybody would ever know
how much money ain't I mean neither. That's why I say, like,
it's what it's ways around showing you got money, you don't got it you
it's most you can show motive, motivational or you know what I'm saying,
humbly, or you can be a show off and and that's that to get
you the bad attention that you won't like trying to show off and stunt on
motherfuckers. Ain't the way. It's just not so very interesting, man,
very interesting, very interesting times that we are in and you know, just
hearing just talking to my friends and just hearing what they got going on.
I'm like, bruh, welcome to the shit show. Like just and not
to be not to sound pessimistic or anything. It's just life is happening,
bro, Life is happening all around. And that's why I say, I
at least gotta look good. I at least gotta go to the show.
I gotta look good one at least I got to. Man. I can't
take off my clothes and be like ell and be sad. That's gonna be
fucking awful. Hell, now, get your ass up and go to the
gym. And I don't even know if I'm sad. That's the thing I
asked to her. I was like, what am I supposed to be feeling
right now? Because I feel great, Like I feel good, I feel
happy that I have a wife and kids that love me, get to create
every day all day. But am I supposed to be feeling angry? Am
I supposed to be feeling sad? Am I supposed to be feeling inadequate?
Like what am I supposed to be feeling? Because I don't know? If
I don't want to be blind to the house being on fire while we're you
know what I mean, does that make sense? Because if the house is
on fire, but I'm saying, oh, I don't want to. I
think I just want to be comfortable, and right now I ain't comfortable.
Hm, I can't. I can't do what I want to do right now?
What would make you comfortable being able to do what I want to do?
I mean, what's that? Just with life? If I want to
go so money, it's gonna it's definitely gonna always be money, like not
saying like but yeah, just being comforted to where I can just if I
want to get up and do something for all my kids and let's just go
things like that, or you know what I'm saying. If my daughters it's
just money, yeah, if they just I want is I ain't got it
right now, but I wish I did and I can just Yeah. I
hate that feeling because but now it's like I'm cool, but it's just,
uh, ship's too hard right now. I don't know what I might need
it for. Yeah, for sure. So it's it's like emergency money just
right like rainy day money. I need mother for us to work or live,
paycheck to paycheck and that's why. And I'm like, it's it's famous.
Motherfuckers paycheck to paycheck. That's what I'm saying. Motherfuckers. We didn't
think that ship. But these motherfuckers living paycheck to paycheck, paychack, they
paychecked just may be bigger than they Definitely living paycheck to paycheck for sure.
Some niggas in the league living paycheck to paycheck, like Toroi p Henson look
like she live paycheck the paycheck in that New Usher super Bowl campaign with Ludicris
and John She definitely what I said, like we we are here struggling,
they struggling. Its just a different lifestyle. Micro microglass on the ass,
Like motherfuckers always say, as long as you got a job of something that
you love to do. Motherfuckers love to do what they they getting paid money
to do what they love to do. And that motherfuckers are not happy.
So I think. I think when I went over the weekend, when I
found out, you know what kind of content I should be creating that I
can create a lot of, I felt like, Okay, this is doable.
If I only need a thousand people to be on this page, that's
doable. Two thousand people that doing it like it's not a lot of people.
It's not a lot of people, but two thousand people with a monthly
subscription is a lot. So that's all. I was like, you know
what, let me let me sit my ass down and create some sexy ass
ship that women can fucking masturbate to sleep too, nigga, and not even
give a fuck about what niggas is thinking. Cause niggas be messaging me on
the low. Bro, I'd be I'm a start exposing. Niggas be messaging
me on the load, like, hey man, that ship you made?
I said to a chick man, she gave me some buns, And I'd
be thinking in my head, are you a patronesss are you if I'm getting
you some whoop? Nigga? Oh mama, let's let's start my nigga getting
you whooping. Boy. Better be paying my nigga all the little coins in
there. Man. But that's just I think, like I think that we
believe. Like I'm gonna say me, I think that growing up, I
thought that one job for one K retirement a house wife kids. I thought
all of it, like in order to say that you are successful, you
had to have all of these things. But then when you the job,
the job ain't jobbing, and then you can't. You don't feel like you're
being the uh, the proper boyfriend or proper husband. You don't feel like
you're doing it enough or contributing enough, start to play on you. And
then the kid like you can't do as much as you want for the kids.
The kids don't know yet, they don't understand it yet, but but
I feel like, although they don't understand it, it's compounded times three and
it's put onto my wife and then she'd be like, that's not what I
think, and I was like, you're a fucking liar. I know you
think that. But then but now I'm like, my mindset, have my
mindset over the weekend has shifted into all right, this is what this is
what you're doing, do it to the maximum ability and if then, if
then you only then can you say this ain't working? But man, I
just feel like as a as men when things, there is no guide on
what you're supposed to be doing as a man, like there's too many Like
as a woman, they might you going through the same shit too, So
I don't know. I ain't gonna say nothing say. I can't speak for
them. I don't know, but it's definitely difficult to try to navigate this
ship without I just maybe maybe everybody lost. That would make me feel even
better if I knew that everybody was feeling lost, like everybody was, like,
what the fuck am I doing? Do I love what I'm doing?
Maybe? Yeah, I probably feel a little better, but I probably be
goddamn a little worried too. Why don't nobody, why we all fucking lost
that we need? Somebody got a God that's in the right direction, God
damn it. Yeah, but there's too many directions to go in, too
many different directions. Who's to say it's only one. You can do whatever
the fuck you want. I think that's the problem. That's the problem.
Do what makes you happy, and people can't do that because there's always people
out here that want to judge because the motherfucker not living like you. I
don't even know if it could be that. But it's also like what you
might what you might love doing, might not be the bills that too.
What you love doing ain't bringing in no money that too, So you gotta
go do something you don't want to do. But then the problem is what
they always talking about. You gotta sacrifice. But then why the fuck I
was then the problem? But the problem is is nigga, I don't know
if I'm giving up too soon or something that too see, you just don't
fucking know. But then you've been thinking and then the next thing you know,
it's been ten years. You're like, boy, I should have been
stopped five stopped. But someone was telling me. God was telling me,
Yeah, that's that. That's the that's the ship that be confusing me.
Like am I wasting my time or am I just putting the time in?
I do not know. I need to sign God. You never know.
I mean, I've seen some people didn't get it clicking until thirty. We
passed thirty. I know what I'm saying. Like Kevin Harden too changed and
then motherfucker started a little late. The nigga too changed. Nigga, he
was forty five, That's what I'm saying. Like niggas, it was late
bloomers. But now that that nigga, Kevin Hort start like he got out
here late. He was doing that shit for a long time. I think
that I think, and I think I hate. I hate a lot of
his stories like that. I hate him because that ship. I hate a
lot of his stories because it'd be like it's one in a million. It
ain't no one in a million, motherfucker. That's why I said cat cat,
he said, plant, industreet plant. That's what they mean right there.
It's one in a lifetime, all right, motherfucker a plan. That's
crazy that he the one that blew up though, now that you think about
it, like it is crazy that he's out of everybody as he's he's as
big as he is, no real quick too, like once he once he
it was like once he was out out there, I don't know, man,
because grown little Man was funny. It's a mother grown little man was
funny as a motherfucker, little man, grown grown little man. Yeah,
I just don't understand how he was in Soul Plane and then Soul Playing was
in everybody House. That was the best promo, Like it didn't even come
out of that. And then Ship the one little low budget movie paper Paper
that was in everybody house. I ain't see that. I never seen that.
Yeah, that was one of the first movies I seen that. Kevin
Hart, I know who that little nigga was. It was funny it was
a funny little movie though. Before we get out of here, what music
you listening to right now? But look, I ain't really been listening to
no music for real. I've been on Jordan Jordan's Uh yeah, I've been
listening to that White Crocks in Yeah, White Crocks is my ship, bro
and think twice that's the best song I ever heard. I was listening a
little either day. That was pretty good for show. I think twice on
that Jordan Ward album It's crazy, Yeah that I haven't I've been listening to
that. I just baby listening to my my little feel good music playlist,
the one I sent to you, instrumentals and ship. I only really been
listening to music in the in the gym. What you've been watching? You've
been watching anything? Yeah? I watched The Little Griselda if that's whatever her
name is. Yeah, that that Little Drugs Bill little Chick was cool.
Ray and Kanean watched the last episode of that. That motherfucker was good than
a bitch, Yeah, good than a motherfucker. Boy. They about bring
BMTH back yep. I think being Math to come back, so bim Math
and then probably Tyrek and now all the motherfucker's good. Though. I watched
the Mister and Missus Smith the new one. Yeah, I ain't watched that
chick, gonna watch it fire. I just love Donald glover Man, anything
that he anything that he produced. I'm watching it because Swarm was Fire.
It was Swarm was fire. I love that. I love that series.
Yeah, I liked. I mean, I love at O two. Yeah,
so T was pretty good. A bunch of weird ship, but a
bunch of weird ship like Black Mirror kind of but in the ghetto way.
That's a good discription. Yeah, that's what. It's the vibes that gave
me. I want Black Mirror. I I just I don't understand why why
Americans can't make anything like Black Mirror, Like, yeah, k all them
foreigners and ship movies be better than ours, bro, I don't know what
the little China movies all that ship like. Yeah, the major movies be
hit like Squid Game that was good, but that ship was good as fuck.
It was good. It really was good. With Your with Your Moral
and I watched it. They had like a game show that they had on
Netflix. I watched that on too. I didn't watch that. I said,
I was like I'm not playing. I'm sorry. Once I seen motherfuckers,
motherfuckers can die. I was funk about that money. Once I seen
motherfuckers was dying. After the if i'd have made it through the red light
green like ship, remember, because they made it through that and the next
one, they was like, y'all can leave you. I'm out of here.
Fuck that money, boy, what yeah, motherfuckers was getting the nigga,
I'm done. Nigga was mofucker's really dying? Smoked? Fuck No,
that sh it was fine man, after the first After the first one,
nigga, I seen how many motherfuckers draw, I said, oh hell no,
hell no, they smoke it bigger. I would the crawled Rodervan so
got damn scared wary. But they found motherfuckers who needed that. I need
that money. It wasn't gonna be me. I needed it, but fuck
that. There was so much money in that motherfucking thing. It wasn't every
time a nigga died. That money went up every single time. Every single
time. You know a movie, you know what movie was dumb as a
motherfucker save the Last Dance, Stupid. I never liked that dumb ass movie.
I never liked that stupid ass movie. That movie was dumbing a bitch.
Oh my god, that loving basketball. Throw all them them type bitches
away, brown sugar, stupid, brown sugar, stupid love Johones, stupid,
all that shit dumbing the bitch, Throw that ship away along it is
the only thing that, said Jones. She find as a motherfucker. But
if anybody else is in love Jones, I hated that. Yeah, all
the fake ass love movies, fake yourself. Then what is a good black
movie? Then? Man, it's too motherfuck's society. God damn it.
All the all that ship fuck no, real as hell, fuck no,
I want the boys in the hood. The other day I was like that
she was good at my ship toxic, are toxic, but that's real ship
toxic. Don't give me no fairy tale cinderellas ship. Who are we in?
Boys in the hood? Who are you? Who's traight? Did you?
Okay? I'm I'm I'm him, and well I play sports, so
I don't want to sound it was ricky. I was Ricky, but I
want to know I want as dumb as Ricky though he was clueless as Yeah,
he was from the hood, didn't know ship about the damn hood bro
like. He didn't. He didn't. He didn't pay attention. He didn't
pay attention to ship. Nah, no, No, I was thinking about
it. I was like, damn, we really are tray. That's that's
what I didn't That's what I identified with. And then and then I missed
society. I'm kay, Like, I ain't ever robbed nobody or nothing like
that, but well here roight he was. We robbed the nigga for the
rems in the car, right, you hang around them type of face.
You're getting some ship, Like I've done ship before. I't ever robbed nobody,
but I've done some ship before. You know what I'm saying. But
yeah, I mean, I'll be trying to identify myself. Was really it
was just a nigga that was in the hood that got sucked into the streets
type ship. But he really was a good kid though. But he grew
up seeing that ship. Nuy he dined. He didn't even die for no
street ship. Now he died off of some He died for disrespecting a woman.
Now he died for beating buddy ass. He died for disrespect That's what
it was. He beat buddy ass. And I told I told my son,
I said, every time you hit them, talking about my daughters,
I said, every time you hit them, I'm going to punch you.
And was like why, I said, because he needs to get it in
his mind that you don't hit not even that. I don't give a fuck.
My mission is not to teach him not to hit women, is that
if you do hit women, there's going to be some consequences to what.
And you don't know what that con jail. It could be a motherfucker on
your ass and that's what you do. Not you would much rather go to
jail to have a nigga on your ass because you hit his sister because buddy
thought, Buddy thought, I'm gonna come check this nigga. Maybe this nigga
week ass nigga leave my cousin alone. And his sister was his cousin,
bess something. Hold now you've got now, I gotta smoke you, my
deaf, gotta smoke you. Now though I gotta smoke they whooped them like
that. I gotta smoke you, bro, And that's just what it came
down to. Yeah, I think a lot of niggas got smoked because they
put their hand on somebody's sister, hands on somebody, or just fucking with
them. A bitch that's just toxic and messy as fuck. That's why I'm
mess with bitches like that, because, bitch, I'm not You're not about
to be talking shit to another nigga and starting ship all the time, putting
your hands on niggas and then they smack you and then you running to me
to come save you. You too, No, not even not even not
even that, like I'm gonna come and try to save you, and now
I got to kill a motherfucker they kill me, you know what I'm saying,
Like, nah, Bro, I just I'll stay out of that.
I was talking to a motherfucker about infidelity, and I was like, the
older I get, the more I realize how unsafe that shit is, bro,
Like, man, trusting a bitch that's not yours is ludicrous, crazy.
That ship is dumb as a motherfucker. Because she knows where you stay,
she know that you got a situation. She can like you. I
just I was telling my young niggas. I was like, Bro, right
now, I might seem like an old nigga, but do not trust motherfuckers,
bro, because she can backdoor you for real, you have no idea
she can back door you have niggas sitting outside your crib robbing you. She
can. She can be sucking your dick and then have a motherfucker come kick
the motherfucker like you just left the door. You do not know what motherfucker's
got going on, bro, And that shit be like you go to a
motherfucker, You go to a chick crib and she doesn't fucking drop the dime
on you. Not niggas like I'd be like, bro, noa, I'm
cool. I'll be trying to give a little niggas game, bro, And
when I be giving them game, they be looking at me like, Bro,
you are traumatized. I'm like, no, We've seen it. I'm
just fortunate enough to not have dealt with h the crazy that I that I've
heard about. Because niggas real bro' be too. I'll be like, whoa,
I don't know how to big one. I peeped the crazy ship,
bitch. If I've ever seen you do some crazy ass ship, if you,
if you are female, you're gonna do some crazy ass shit on social
media. You crazy, You're gonna show the world, you crazy bit you
crazy, and I don't want nothing to do with you. That's the That's
why I had to get on Facebook too, because people your your family follow
you on here and they don't be caring. You don't care that you're looking
like an idiot, you ousting anothering, you ousting somebody on you know what
I mean? Like the ship that people be doing on Facebook, arguing on
Facebook, posting I've seen the chicken. I've seen a chick yesterday. I
just kept posting messages and all this ship about her, her ex and his
new girl, like just a bunch of everybody, like, man, stop,
you are just stop. You are embarrassing yourself, Like this is embarrassing
you think that you you think that you're dropping the dime on buddy. Nah,
everybody cracking Joe I wheel tomorrow not today, Like no, stop.
They looking at you like you're a fucking goofball for real, goofball man,
crazy looking crazy niggas too, niggas too, yeah, just looking crazy and
they ain't gonna take them motherfucker back after all that. It's just like man
gone, man, I'm about now about. Don't follow you if I ever
block you, because what you want nobody want to see that. I never
see anybody acting crazy on social media. I unfollow you quick, I unfriend
you quick. I don't even want that on my time. Yeah. I
don't want no parts of you. I ain't, I ain't you, and
you I'm blocking you because you are a maniac I have. I want no
parts. Yeah, I want no parts of that ship man, not at
all. Who you got in the Super Bowl? Man? Before they get
up, Man, I pretty much know the Chiefs going in. Man,
they want Taylor, Taylor Smith, whatever fuck her name is. They want
her to get it. They want that bitch to get the damn ring her
damn self. But I'm forty nine this window. I like the Chiefs,
but I just don't want to win. Just not not this year. Not
Why what the girls there? Not the swiftiest. I like Taylor Swift,
I mean she's cool. I love Taylor Si. Man, but you don't.
You don't follow sports and watch Sports Center, and you don't you don't
see what's going on. But you've just seen that damn cake motherfucker just made
with her holding a damn trophy. If they don't bother, you don't know
what does I think? For me? I just understand I just understand why
the NFL is doing it. Yeah, marketing, I understand marketing, and
that's why niggas is down bad. Broever, you gotta go get us frail
white girl to bring motherfuckers to watch this game. Niggas is doing bad.
They ain't even need it though, they just boosted it up. No,
because they didn't know they was gonna be together. It just happened to happen.
But once they seen it, they're like, oh, we got some
here. That's why I said it's probably fake. It's probably probably just friends.
But if not, he's playing crazy because she would have been pregnant first
intercourse. You're not gonna run we had you're knocking rup. Do you think
Taylor Swift use condoms? We we ain't. We ain't raw dog again dog.
They called that nig They said Taylor Swift's boyfriend. They don't even call
that nigga, but his name no more. Now, you got to make
more money than her to be called your name, and you don't have more
money than the Swift. I'm wrong, you can. I wanted to take
her last name excellent swear God, I wanted in Swift. Are you talking
about Jenny Jackson was a little thick, now I would. I want to
know, as a nigga who created righted content for a living, I want
to know what type of sex do these pop singers be having, because I
want to fuck Ariana Grande and Taylor swift them. That's if my wife to
give me passes. Grande is first going for them, grind Grande's first,
Grande Dojah Cat, I'm deaf, smoking the boots off. Dojah? What
if you because if you put Taylor and Sisson and I'm not Taylor, but
uh Doshah and Sisson in the room, I'm going to pick Dojah if you
if you put Summer and Doje in the room, I'm going to pick Dojah.
But if you put Dojah and Ari Lennox in the room, I might
get Ari because her voice bro she just I like Jenny. I'm not fucking
her. She she pratties the mother. No, I don't want carry Heelson.
I love them. She's fine, she fine, though, she fine.
She finds a motherfucker though, But nah, I don't want to pass
for Carrie. She fine. I follow her. I'll watch her. I
look at her instrument, But Noah, because I'm thinking about I don't know,
man. I just want to know how they fuck. I don't even
want to I just want to know how they fuck. What y'all be doing,
What y'all like, what y'all don't like? Who on top? How
long do you ride on top? Well? Do you wear lingerie? Do
you wear a white T shirt to bed? How do you sleep your breast?
I don't watch white porn. I watch all that ship, but none
of I don't give about none of that ship on porn. I want to
know what they do. I've seen Arianna Grande in the in the studio recording
her vocals by herself Harmony's crazy, yep. I want to do it to
you that right there alone, and want to do it to her. I'll
be thinking about who got good sex and who don't got good sex? Kneel
long, Nope, she ain't got good sex? Fuck no, hell no?
And what's the girl on Joe Budden's podcast? Uh? Melissa for it?
Fuck nor did? She probably never did? Fuck no? I know
she she was hot at one point in time. Fuck no, she was
cute. Gigs she was, But if she ain't giving it up with her
you know know we didn't talk about last time was siddy stuff post about uh
superhead. My question to you is do you knowingly or did you knowingly fuck
battered women? Not battered batter means what batter means women that was beat I
don't mean them. I mean women that got daddy issues, my issues,
like did you like when? Like did you Because a lot of niggas don't
talk to women to even know they just I said, I really didn't know.
I really back then, I really didn't pay attentionships she I'm asking all
the type of motherfucking questions I mean because I didn't plan on being with a
lot of them, so I really didn't even That's how that was my bag
though. So you played sports, you was you was a cool nigga.
I wouldn't that I had. I had to use my mouthpiece pause. I
mean you had your ones that I did. But like I really, if
I ain't look at you as like really ain't nothing with you, I wouldn't.
I didn't give a fuck about what you had going on. But you
asked no, oh you didn't ask because I don't care about none of that.
Hm, he was old whooping. I remember I remember this girl that
I was trying to talk to brush. I found out a nigga that her
her brother tried to set her house on fire, her mama was a drug
addict. Her dad was said, I'm not fucking you. Get the hell.
No, I'm your brother now, deaf. No, I'm definitely fuck
no, no, no, I don't. And Steph said that when she
read Superhead books, she said that she started to feel like that she was
sucked up. Yeah, she was fucked up and they was just taking advantage
of her. And I was like, man, she is and she looks
great, look good. The mother, Oh my god, oh bro,
she's fine. She Philia fine. Yeah my god. I ain't ain't nothing,
ain't nothing better than the old ass fine woman. Yeah see, I
see, I can, I can. I can fuck with a female that
fucked. That fucked a lot. But if you if you got the train
ran on you, that's where that's what ship gets. I don't care about
the train. I do. Bro. It's over for me, Bro,
I find you better take that ship to the grave. The train. My
thing is my thing is I give a fuck women who women who see I
don't want to tie in mental health or life issues problems. Once I find
out, I just feel like back back then, women girls who was allowing
six niggas to fuck, they had something going on. They had something going
on, and niggas didn't give a fuck. I can't. I'm hurt.
I find that bit you is living like that. You heard that she has
six dicks, and you hurt that she was she worked at a mental place
to take six dicks. I don't even want to know why you were doing
that, but the fact that you or I'm crazy, I'm more so.
I'm more so stuck on the wy. I'm more so stuck on the why,
because what the fuck? What happened to you? Bitch? Yeah,
I do need to know? I mean I don't because it's over. So
I'm like, I'm not even worried about having to deal deal with it or
even worried about it coming back, because bitch, it's over. You know
you should have kept it to yourself. May be going through some ship,
man, especially like young people bro like especially our maybe this age too,
because now you can go through some ship you don't line find a motherfucker and
just get to them. Back in our day, we had to ride a
bike to a motherfucker. We had to catch a bus to a motherfucker.
Now you can get an uber to it. You can get an uber.
Yeah. So if you had six motherfuckers riding bikes to your house, so
we're gonna have more fucker problem because what the fuck you got six bikes outside
in your house? You got six bikes at the at the porch of your
crib. That looks just sounds crazy. Something on that someone kickstands. None
on kickstands. That's crazy. Nah, but real, I don't know.
I'm not, I'm not. I'm not having sexual no. No. When
women, yeah, they probably is going through something for sure. They don't
move like that. Some women do. Some women. Some women are moving
like that. Some do. But I'm saying like majority women ain't built like
that. They're tail on their themself. And when they cheat, they I
can't. I just couldn't hold it in. I couldn't do him like that.
Like savages. I know some savages. I know some savages. That's
why, that's why I feel the way savages. Some some I might have
to funk around and find out, and then the other ones know, and
then some of them is like, that's like who I call system ship and
I just see how they like I don't look at them like that. But
I just see like what they do. And I love when you talk to
your system, you just find out. Oh like you and y'all ain't ship
a ship and niggas aren't even suspected from the real, real pretty ones.
No, bro, I'm talking about business. Ain't ship boy the ship I'll
be here and seeing I'd be like, that's why I beat nothing. That's
what I'm saying. Niggas, why nothing. Just gotta get them a girl,
No, because else you're gonna trust men. I need I need to
trust who I'm sticking my dick in. I need to trust you because you
can fuck up my whole life. You can fuck up my whole life with
one bad experience. I want no parts. And so we went to hate
you. Yes, we went to the skate rink out West two weeks ago.
Yeah, last weekend. So this beautiful black woman in this motherfucking green
jumpsuit, and the first thing in my mind was, bitch, get away
from me. You might be the devil, look at it. Get away
from me. Y'all don't know what demons is on your back like a fucking
monkey pop who sent you? No motherfuckers is definitely making too much eye contact.
I just play, who sent you like the devil? You got me
looking at you and supposed to be looking at you, the devil, the
devil? When the last thing you've been to the skate ring ship? I
went, but twice recently too. Cases. She likes skating. I'm gonna
get some skates, though, I was. I got to get my own.
I can't do them brown dubers. I wasn't that motherfucker like we used
to be in this motherfucker faithfully faithful. I used to know how to skate
like a motherfucker boy. Ain't skating about fifteen years being that motherfucker. I
was like, man, this ship is so crazy. The audio is still
trash. You were skating, Nah, I was pushing the I was pushing
the girls around. I was walking. I was walking on it. But
I want to say, she's hurt Nigga after them skates, Nigga. I
didn't even want to put them on. Man, the motherfucker's so heavy.
Yeah, I didn't want to put them on. I think I might get
some roller blades. I didn't want to put the motherfuckers on. Fast nigg
gonna be zooming around the motherfucker skating the ring. I'm like, damn the
race fucking shirt. That was the only case I knew how to skate in
for real, for real, like my grandma bought us skated in. I
never want to ice skating. We need to go on. I want to
go ice skating. I got that one downtown. It's always it's always there
there, me and me and you. I went down there just to like
chill and looking ship. I was just like, nah, we need to
go one. It's a little bigger than this. Too many people on that.
I definite want. I definitely get some blades. We had, we
had them close. I ain't trying to fall. Oh nigga instantly went to
the my fingers hurt. I didn't even think about that problem. I'm always
thinking about some final destination. Why are you? Oh, you always just
thinking about hey, hey ship. But you gotta be cautious. Gotta be
cautious because when you don't think about it, that's when the ship happened.
Man. I gotta go downtown to the I gotta go downtown over the weekend
for to work the All Star Joint. And the only thing I can think
about is all of them motherfucking people. That's the only thing I can think
about. I ain't thinking about the job I gotta do. I ain't thinking
about what I gotta wear. I ain't thinking about nothing. I'm thinking about
all of the motherfucking people that I have to I'm just gonna go where life
can't afford me, wherever that takes me. I'm not going broke for this
ship. Where you're gonna be ill, pull up, pull help us,
help me. It's gonna be food in there. It's gonna be like an
event space. Yeah, I said I need I got a staff. I
got a staff. But I ain't going nowhere but this motherfucker. I'm gonna
just be downtown, going wherever wherever. I thought about going to Trapping Tacos.
I might go to that little line ship though, for sure. Where
is it, Lucas that ship? All of these ads just look so weird.
When it says Indie, I'm like, it's crazy, but it's so
much. It's so much ship. It's so much ship. I saw Wayne
the Baby City Girls the last day he the last party. Yeah, like
she's gonna be crazy young Miami, and I'm like, I love you.
That's a fine. Oh She's so fucking gorgeous, ain't she. I used
to like j T over her. I did too, She's a bird.
Now she's different. Yeah, us made her weird. Anybody, anybody who's
to do that to you, even weird than the motherfucker that's my nigga,
So I know he probably a real nigga, So that's probably what got her.
But that nigga just a little and he little hell weird, little than
a bit. Yeah, I think I'm I think I enjoy this, this,
this gig, this weekend, I'm looking forward to. You know,
it's gonna be fun. It's gonna be nice weekend. Yeah. Man,
well thank you for listening to this unsure ass episode with me and Keenan Swift.
My my DAF you know, was next Saturday, so I probably won't
be doing ship till later that day. They're gonna be emotionally all right,
Yeah, I'll be straight. I think I don't. I don't been through
so much in my life when it comes to like death and ship, I
don't really only process like yeah, it's like afterwards, like I just deal
with it. I'd be like, man, they just they look it ain't
gotta be no more but like twenty twelve probably was it with the year like
I lost like probably five niggas like that was close to me that year.
That year, so it was like I can't even cry no more, like
just be hurt. DJ j R, Thomas, Little Uh, Little James,
like a couple of cousins. Like that year was tough. Damn yeah,
that ship was tough. Man. Well we'll see y'all. We see,
man, y'all better stay out the way and out the way. And
just if y'all, I want to know how y'all feeling, man, d
m me if y'all follow me, I want to talk about this, like,
yeah, I definite want to know how y'all feel. If y'all feel
like what the fuck am I doing? Let me know because and then I
could communicate with us on motherfucking Twitter and ship y'all. Yeah, I just
want to know what, motherfuckers is how y'all getting through life every day?
Like what is the goal? What are we doing here? I asked here,
like what are we doing here? What are you supposed to be doing?
We just want to be mating and feeding these kids until we die.
I mean that's what I feel. That's what man, are for mating.
Bring your life into the world. Yeah, just shoot the sperm every goddamn
where. Well I am Eric, Fuck that, I'm done, ericdizzy dot
Audio. Follow me on all social media. I'm here with my brother Kenny
Hey Rich I really expensive three one seven Instagram, y'all know what it is.
Keene Upter, Facebook and we'll see y'all next week. Man,