WEBVTT

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All right. Anger is okay,
Resentment is okay, Being tired is okay.

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Being irritable is okay. I am
as I'm walking through this journey of

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caregiving. All these things are okay. I'm James lo Genius is fifty plus

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and I've been sharing my feelings with
you guys. I will be doing a

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caregiver's private Zoom mental health check in
sometime in June. I'm working on that.

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That's from the fans asking a whole
you do that. And I love,

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I love doing mental health stuff.
And I'm but a little support for

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us and for others who are going
through even deeper stuff that I'm going through

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because my stuff is not nearly as
you know, there's no pay Olympics or

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anything. But just I mean this, folks, I know we're going through

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I mean twenty four hour, major
long term stuff. But yes, I

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there are moments of frustration and resentment
and anger and intrusion and and it's the

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only body tell you it's okay to
have those feelings. Um, it's okay

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to feel them, and it's okay
to acknowledge them and recognize them as they

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happen. Um. The thing that
I personally don't want us to do is

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to live in them. You don't
want to live in them or have the

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manifesting ways that are not healthy.
But the healthy part is you're human and

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stuff comes up. Um. You
know, I have a strong belief in

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God, and so I do pray
a menitate to him, um, and

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and so it has helped him many
I mean totally helped many ways. But

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you're also human, and sometimes when
you're tired, just physically tired or mostly

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tired, mentally tied and just taking
care of whatever it is you're taking care

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of, and it can just they
can have some long term effects. Um.

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But for you at home, whether
it is turning to God or turning

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to whoever you pray to you or
if it's just you know, for you

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it's a good book or a good
series many series or you know, our

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friendships or whatever, our time by
yourself. You need to find that also

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because you have to find some way
to walk through it, let it go

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through you, and then let it
go out. Um. You know,

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no one's immute to every human,
you know, human. I haven't ant

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my own faith that I know I
can talk to her but anything and my

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friend flow. But I don't talk
to him about anything, and I know

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I can go my brother. We
we're in it together. We can express

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our feelings each other without judgment.
These folks just let us, you know,

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let us sometimes you just want to
vent. They know, they understand

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that you're going through something. My
own faith actually was a character of herself,

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so she even understands on some level
what's going on. Um and then

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she just sometimes just less me,
just less we say it, lets me

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say it, and then she offers
support. And then flobals like, well,

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just you offer support, and you
know, it's like it's kind of

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nice sometimes just to get it out, best to get out. They're fine,

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and then then usually I'm fine,
and after that, I'm like,

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Okay, I go back to whatever
I'm doing. And my analysts girls comes

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from a biblical play, so she
we're going buying some scriptures or you know,

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there's little things, but she acknowledges
my feelings. And there's some folks

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who will and they they don't mean
harm. They will try to downplay it,

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like you shouldn't feel that way,
and you know it's not good and

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you don't do that. I know
feel it. I'm sorry, I'm getting

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permission, feel it. Let it
out. That's the better part. Let

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it out, because I do not
want to have that effect my caring of

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the person I'm taking care of,
in this case, my mom. So

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I don't want it to go out
on her and my brother. I told

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that all the time. But oh
yeah, do I get angry and I'm

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said sometimes or whatever, Yes,
am I tired? Yes, I've been

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tired since January, since December.
I don't even know. I was just

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just constant tires. But I have
just been handling everything. I end up

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coming, vacation coming, which is
a great thing also, and I'm getting

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some of my life back now by
I'm doing the things that I that I

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loved. For a while, I
couldn't do. I didn't fit in,

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couldn't I'm a creative, couldn't do
what I love. And that's sometimes sometimes

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when you're feeling like you're just you're
kind of as a barrier to that.

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That could be also rest of resentment
comes in. The anger comes anger at

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yourself, you know, anger situation. It's completely okay. You gotta cry,

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cry through a tanition, through a
tanient and private sure do that.

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I feel like it's all good.
But then find a way when you talk

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to somebody, go to support group, find a trusted person. Let's get

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it out, put it, get
in perspective on some level, Um,

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if you need that, and then
we got to move on from there.

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And now there's times where there is
nothing to talk about. It's just like

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I need to get that, I
need to vent this moment out. I'm

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frustrate this moment. Get it out
done. And sometimes that's simple, and

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sometimes say it takes a couple of
days. Um, you know, and

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everything's complicated if you're taking care by
you're taking care of someone you love or

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someone you have a complete relationship with. Sometimes it's everything's just complicated. It's

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just get it um. And if
it's your first time doing this, there

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are complicated feelings in that too,
and new things also And I've learned.

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So I said, I'm gonna write
a book on the kind of stuff planned

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on this from my experience because I
think, um, they could happen to

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anyone who may have a loved one
that they may to take care of.

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And it's just something that I feel
like there are things that I wish I

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had known, but I wouldn't have
known until I went through it, um,

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and I'm very I'm a realist.
I talked about it for real.

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Um, it's good out there.
But there have been but also at the

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same time, there have been some
funny moments. My my aunt Cynthia,

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my mom the other day was sitting
and talking about their friendship, their long

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term friendship, and that was we
were laughing and talking and that was fun

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to do that, and we had
tiny that and so you just go,

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Okay, I balance this out a
little bit. You're like, you know,

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this person almost wasn't here. Um, I would have had this moment

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again, you know. So you
then you have that elation and that and

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that gratitude and grace, and you
go, Okay, at least I'm still

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laughing with this person. We're still
having some good time with it, We're

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still doing stuff. And then,
of course my lotties have been so wonderful,

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and last two Fridays, people have
bought food for my mom and I

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because of her eating stuff and also
a fan boughtist Apple Fitters that she loves

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and so she's eating and so that
to me is like the fans that have

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done that, I just I'll be
eternally grateful. So you have that side

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to you, but I don't want
to focus on that. That's why I

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focused on that side last time.
But this I just want to focus on

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the times you're just like I'm angry, I'm upset, I'm fed up,

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I'm tired, I have nothing left
to give. It does happen, and

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it is okay, folks, It
is okay, But find a way to

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also deal bed to at some point. I've changed. Fifty plus is everywhere

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and I will see you next time. To all your careers out there,

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I see you. I'm with you.