All right. Anger is okay, Resentment is okay, Being tired is okay.
Being irritable is okay. I am as I'm walking through this journey of
caregiving. All these things are okay. I'm James lo Genius is fifty plus
and I've been sharing my feelings with you guys. I will be doing a
caregiver's private Zoom mental health check in sometime in June. I'm working on that.
That's from the fans asking a whole you do that. And I love,
I love doing mental health stuff. And I'm but a little support for
us and for others who are going through even deeper stuff that I'm going through
because my stuff is not nearly as you know, there's no pay Olympics or
anything. But just I mean this, folks, I know we're going through
I mean twenty four hour, major long term stuff. But yes, I
there are moments of frustration and resentment and anger and intrusion and and it's the
only body tell you it's okay to have those feelings. Um, it's okay
to feel them, and it's okay to acknowledge them and recognize them as they
happen. Um. The thing that I personally don't want us to do is
to live in them. You don't want to live in them or have the
manifesting ways that are not healthy. But the healthy part is you're human and
stuff comes up. Um. You know, I have a strong belief in
God, and so I do pray a menitate to him, um, and
and so it has helped him many I mean totally helped many ways. But
you're also human, and sometimes when you're tired, just physically tired or mostly
tired, mentally tied and just taking care of whatever it is you're taking care
of, and it can just they can have some long term effects. Um.
But for you at home, whether it is turning to God or turning
to whoever you pray to you or if it's just you know, for you
it's a good book or a good series many series or you know, our
friendships or whatever, our time by yourself. You need to find that also
because you have to find some way to walk through it, let it go
through you, and then let it go out. Um. You know,
no one's immute to every human, you know, human. I haven't ant
my own faith that I know I can talk to her but anything and my
friend flow. But I don't talk to him about anything, and I know
I can go my brother. We we're in it together. We can express
our feelings each other without judgment. These folks just let us, you know,
let us sometimes you just want to vent. They know, they understand
that you're going through something. My own faith actually was a character of herself,
so she even understands on some level what's going on. Um and then
she just sometimes just less me, just less we say it, lets me
say it, and then she offers support. And then flobals like, well,
just you offer support, and you know, it's like it's kind of
nice sometimes just to get it out, best to get out. They're fine,
and then then usually I'm fine, and after that, I'm like,
Okay, I go back to whatever I'm doing. And my analysts girls comes
from a biblical play, so she we're going buying some scriptures or you know,
there's little things, but she acknowledges my feelings. And there's some folks
who will and they they don't mean harm. They will try to downplay it,
like you shouldn't feel that way, and you know it's not good and
you don't do that. I know feel it. I'm sorry, I'm getting
permission, feel it. Let it out. That's the better part. Let
it out, because I do not want to have that effect my caring of
the person I'm taking care of, in this case, my mom. So
I don't want it to go out on her and my brother. I told
that all the time. But oh yeah, do I get angry and I'm
said sometimes or whatever, Yes, am I tired? Yes, I've been
tired since January, since December. I don't even know. I was just
just constant tires. But I have just been handling everything. I end up
coming, vacation coming, which is a great thing also, and I'm getting
some of my life back now by I'm doing the things that I that I
loved. For a while, I couldn't do. I didn't fit in,
couldn't I'm a creative, couldn't do what I love. And that's sometimes sometimes
when you're feeling like you're just you're kind of as a barrier to that.
That could be also rest of resentment comes in. The anger comes anger at
yourself, you know, anger situation. It's completely okay. You gotta cry,
cry through a tanition, through a tanient and private sure do that.
I feel like it's all good. But then find a way when you talk
to somebody, go to support group, find a trusted person. Let's get
it out, put it, get in perspective on some level, Um,
if you need that, and then we got to move on from there.
And now there's times where there is nothing to talk about. It's just like
I need to get that, I need to vent this moment out. I'm
frustrate this moment. Get it out done. And sometimes that's simple, and
sometimes say it takes a couple of days. Um, you know, and
everything's complicated if you're taking care by you're taking care of someone you love or
someone you have a complete relationship with. Sometimes it's everything's just complicated. It's
just get it um. And if it's your first time doing this, there
are complicated feelings in that too, and new things also And I've learned.
So I said, I'm gonna write a book on the kind of stuff planned
on this from my experience because I think, um, they could happen to
anyone who may have a loved one that they may to take care of.
And it's just something that I feel like there are things that I wish I
had known, but I wouldn't have known until I went through it, um,
and I'm very I'm a realist. I talked about it for real.
Um, it's good out there. But there have been but also at the
same time, there have been some funny moments. My my aunt Cynthia,
my mom the other day was sitting and talking about their friendship, their long
term friendship, and that was we were laughing and talking and that was fun
to do that, and we had tiny that and so you just go,
Okay, I balance this out a little bit. You're like, you know,
this person almost wasn't here. Um, I would have had this moment
again, you know. So you then you have that elation and that and
that gratitude and grace, and you go, Okay, at least I'm still
laughing with this person. We're still having some good time with it, We're
still doing stuff. And then, of course my lotties have been so wonderful,
and last two Fridays, people have bought food for my mom and I
because of her eating stuff and also a fan boughtist Apple Fitters that she loves
and so she's eating and so that to me is like the fans that have
done that, I just I'll be eternally grateful. So you have that side
to you, but I don't want to focus on that. That's why I
focused on that side last time. But this I just want to focus on
the times you're just like I'm angry, I'm upset, I'm fed up,
I'm tired, I have nothing left to give. It does happen, and
it is okay, folks, It is okay, But find a way to
also deal bed to at some point. I've changed. Fifty plus is everywhere
and I will see you next time. To all your careers out there,
I see you. I'm with you.