WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.200 --> 00:00:06.519 The opinions expressed by Chayo Busquets are supported by his extensive experience as a family 2 00:00:06.919 --> 00:00:12.240 therapist and in the previous analysis of the cases presented here welcome, this is 3 00:00:12.400 --> 00:00:18.920 Chayo with you. In Joya. We start afternoon hello with three minutes. 4 00:00:19.559 --> 00:00:24.800 Welcome to Chayo with you. Happy Master' s Day. This is a 5 00:00:24.879 --> 00:00:28.039 day when it is happy Teacher' s Day and happy Student' s Day 6 00:00:28.160 --> 00:00:35.240 because they don' t go to classes in a recognition of the day of 7 00:00:35.240 --> 00:00:39.719 rest that teachers deserve. Many people deserve it like everything there will be who 8 00:00:39.719 --> 00:00:44.280 doesn' t. But that puts students in a very particular role, especially 9 00:00:44.920 --> 00:00:57.679 happy. Notice that on a day like today, we would certainly have to 10 00:00:58.719 --> 00:01:04.640 ask ourselves who should recognize the teachers. We' ve all had teachers. 11 00:01:04.680 --> 00:01:08.840 No matter how old we are at what point in life we meet. Without 12 00:01:08.920 --> 00:01:15.000 a doubt, we' ve all had teachers. And when I ask the 13 00:01:15.079 --> 00:01:22.480 question that would seem obvious, I am not referring to whether, in all 14 00:01:22.480 --> 00:01:29.920 media, in all contexts, we would have to recognize and we would have 15 00:01:30.159 --> 00:01:37.840 to congratulate them, but that genuine recognition that comes from the very significant role 16 00:01:37.840 --> 00:01:47.560 that teachers have in the education of your children, because they generate experiences, 17 00:01:48.319 --> 00:01:56.239 shape behaviors, attitudes, ways of responding to life, teach them content clearly, 18 00:01:56.480 --> 00:02:00.439 not what it is even in extracurricular classes. Not if your son goes 19 00:02:00.439 --> 00:02:05.159 to football, karate, ballet wherever he goes, because there are teachers there 20 00:02:05.200 --> 00:02:15.360 too. But the thing is, they shapefully impact the kind of person your 21 00:02:15.439 --> 00:02:22.439 child is going to become. It' s not just Mom and Dad that 22 00:02:22.599 --> 00:02:25.599 the teachers impact on that, too. It' s that other house, 23 00:02:25.879 --> 00:02:31.599 I don' t mean second house, because it looks like we' re 24 00:02:31.439 --> 00:02:38.599 putting order of importance, but it' s that other house, it' 25 00:02:38.599 --> 00:02:44.919 s that other family where your kids learn and they' re going to mark 26 00:02:44.919 --> 00:02:46.400 who and what and how your son' s going to manage. Once the 27 00:02:46.479 --> 00:02:53.759 years have passed, what the school teaches, they will say chayo what, 28 00:02:53.800 --> 00:02:59.400 evident you are today this how obvious. No, I' m not talking 29 00:02:59.439 --> 00:03:02.919 about the academic, I' m not talking about the particular class your son 30 00:03:04.000 --> 00:03:12.319 takes in the afternoon out of school. I' m talking about how the 31 00:03:12.319 --> 00:03:17.639 school works. And there' s a very particular situation that I' m 32 00:03:17.759 --> 00:03:23.080 going to focus on right now that has to do with you at home You 33 00:03:23.120 --> 00:03:29.159 raise individual responsibility, what does your child do, what consequences result from his 34 00:03:29.159 --> 00:03:34.240 actions and, therefore, what you have to supervise and what to follow up 35 00:03:34.439 --> 00:03:38.800 the school if you, as a parent, don' t interfere with him. 36 00:03:38.599 --> 00:03:46.240 The school is going to educate social responsibility. What does this mean that 37 00:03:46.319 --> 00:03:53.240 when I' m in a group, I have to begin to be aware 38 00:03:53.039 --> 00:03:58.879 that what I do, that behavior, that I have, that which I 39 00:03:59.520 --> 00:04:04.000 say, that for which impulse influences motive my partner, my friend. If 40 00:04:04.199 --> 00:04:10.639 it goes wrong, it will have a much greater impact than if I do 41 00:04:10.759 --> 00:04:15.680 it alone in my home, because it is a much wider group of people 42 00:04:15.680 --> 00:04:20.720 and, therefore, it will impact and it will enhance the outcome of my 43 00:04:20.759 --> 00:04:27.040 behavior. Therefore, the school will tend to put consequences with which you disagree, 44 00:04:27.199 --> 00:04:30.240 because you see it from the individual, but the school has to see 45 00:04:30.240 --> 00:04:36.560 it from the collective. Let schools do their job so your child learns social 46 00:04:36.680 --> 00:04:47.120 responsibility. How many times we don' t become his parents. Just and 47 00:04:47.199 --> 00:04:50.720 I' m going to set a very clear example. Let' s think 48 00:04:50.839 --> 00:04:58.240 for a moment that three kids in a school do an evil and all three 49 00:04:58.399 --> 00:05:04.199 get a consequence. The first one' s dad comes in and says it 50 00:05:04.199 --> 00:05:09.319 ' s not fair, because my son just gave the idea, but he 51 00:05:09.680 --> 00:05:14.120 didn' t do what they' re punishing them for. The second says 52 00:05:14.600 --> 00:05:16.600 my son would never have done it if the other, which is a terrible 53 00:05:16.600 --> 00:05:20.319 influence, hadn' t given the idea. So you should run to that 54 00:05:20.319 --> 00:05:26.040 kid. The third one says mine didn' t do anything, nothing else, 55 00:05:26.319 --> 00:05:29.800 he was watching and he was having fun and laughing, but he didn 56 00:05:29.839 --> 00:05:34.319 ' t do anything of the evil. Today the parents, very often say 57 00:05:34.399 --> 00:05:43.680 my son only and we have to understand that whenever we are in group, 58 00:05:44.800 --> 00:05:50.240 the contribution that you made you laugh, because that made them feel that they 59 00:05:50.240 --> 00:05:55.519 belonged, that it was funny what they were doing, the one who only 60 00:05:55.519 --> 00:05:58.480 expressed the idea aloud, the one who executed him. Because he' s 61 00:05:58.480 --> 00:06:00.480 so docile, so docile, he does everything he hears others say, and 62 00:06:00.480 --> 00:06:04.199 he' s the bold one in the band. All three have equal impact. 63 00:06:05.879 --> 00:06:10.839 If one of the three had not been, it would have minimized the 64 00:06:10.879 --> 00:06:15.879 impact of action. So don' t confuse supporting a child alone for a 65 00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:24.480 child. It is clear that not all school cycles are going to be equally 66 00:06:24.560 --> 00:06:30.959 happy with the teachers who touched our son. However, there is an abysmal 67 00:06:30.279 --> 00:06:44.000 difference between a teacher being inadequate, even falling into anti- pedagogical situations and 68 00:06:44.079 --> 00:06:48.680 why not even criminals. And another thing very different is that the teacher has 69 00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:56.639 an operating style that doesn' t go according to the style that I would 70 00:06:56.680 --> 00:07:00.000 like, but that doesn' t take away the formative or educational for my 71 00:07:00.120 --> 00:07:05.120 child' s life. And this is very important to learn to differentiate it, 72 00:07:05.399 --> 00:07:11.519 because all of a sudden we don' t want anyone who doesn' 73 00:07:11.600 --> 00:07:15.560 t like my son, who doesn' t love my son, who doesn 74 00:07:15.560 --> 00:07:23.040 ' t like parents, who is the teacher or teacher of our children And 75 00:07:23.079 --> 00:07:30.160 we need to differentiate different models from those I would like and another very different 76 00:07:30.680 --> 00:07:33.759 that only the teacher has a style which, then, would make life easier 77 00:07:33.800 --> 00:07:39.519 for my son if he changed water. Sometimes that experience is by far more 78 00:07:40.399 --> 00:07:49.800 formative. Notice that on many occasions what is happening in the present is not 79 00:07:50.360 --> 00:08:00.199 so significant. We as parents have to have a bifocal vision, that is 80 00:08:00.279 --> 00:08:03.519 to say we have to be seeing our children all the time, at the 81 00:08:03.519 --> 00:08:05.720 present moment, to see what they need, what they require how they require 82 00:08:05.720 --> 00:08:09.839 it. Anyway all this, but we also have to see and throw our 83 00:08:09.920 --> 00:08:16.040 gaze into the future. Sometimes I don' t like the teacher' s 84 00:08:16.040 --> 00:08:22.000 style. The way the master doesn' t like his character. However, 85 00:08:22.480 --> 00:08:26.759 in the long run. The experience ends up being very positive. Many times 86 00:08:26.800 --> 00:08:31.559 in a school we start the school cycle and say no that teacher I do 87 00:08:33.200 --> 00:08:37.039 not like and we ask for change of teacher and the school for something does 88 00:08:37.039 --> 00:08:41.399 not allow us. We get angry, I don' t know how much, 89 00:08:41.759 --> 00:08:45.360 but well they stay and at the end of the year we say good 90 00:08:45.360 --> 00:08:48.279 thing they didn' t change it. My son learned to develop a lot 91 00:08:48.279 --> 00:08:52.519 of skills that he didn' t have before, because sometimes we love our 92 00:08:52.519 --> 00:08:58.399 children too much in comfort zones and growth and development is very much like this. 93 00:08:58.440 --> 00:09:07.519 It' s that we take care of the rush and appreciate that my 94 00:09:07.639 --> 00:09:11.080 son can win, although for the moment it would seem that I' m 95 00:09:11.080 --> 00:09:22.639 not so delighted. How we should handle the disagreements we have with teachers. 96 00:09:24.960 --> 00:09:31.200 First I would tell you in a very clear way directly with the teacher. 97 00:09:33.159 --> 00:09:37.120 Or it depends on the level of gravity or seriousness of the situation, with 98 00:09:37.480 --> 00:09:48.799 direction and teacher, as the school has stipulated. Second, not in moms 99 00:09:48.919 --> 00:09:54.080 ' chats and I say moms' because they' re usually more moms'. 100 00:09:54.159 --> 00:10:01.320 That' s bullying to expose a teacher by criticizing his handling of things 101 00:10:01.440 --> 00:10:05.240 that have to do with my son, with my daughter, and I do 102 00:10:05.279 --> 00:10:09.799 it by showing it to all the parents. It' s a form of 103 00:10:09.879 --> 00:10:16.120 aggression and we have to learn to take care of this. Third, don 104 00:10:16.240 --> 00:10:22.360 ' t disparage yourself with your children about their teachers. Your teacher is crazy 105 00:10:22.200 --> 00:10:26.200 for nothing. What' s wrong with him is not to see. Let 106 00:10:26.200 --> 00:10:28.679 ' s understand what happened. Let me hear what your teacher says. Your 107 00:10:28.720 --> 00:10:33.639 teacher, let' s see what happens to you, what' s your 108 00:10:33.759 --> 00:10:43.960 version of the facts and let' s clarify, but assault just thinks that 109 00:10:45.039 --> 00:10:48.480 you' re modeling your kids for you that you' re a teacher. 110 00:10:48.879 --> 00:10:54.360 One very important question you have to ask yourself is whether to be a teacher. 111 00:10:54.559 --> 00:11:01.000 For YOU it' s an occupation or it' s your occasion, 112 00:11:01.519 --> 00:11:07.120 because that makes a huge difference in what you convey, in how you get 113 00:11:07.159 --> 00:11:11.559 involved, in what you can do, in how you bond emotionally with your 114 00:11:11.559 --> 00:11:18.840 students. So ask yourself is just what you do or it' s something 115 00:11:18.879 --> 00:11:26.080 that gives you identity. Well, then, what I have left is to 116 00:11:26.200 --> 00:11:33.600 tell all those teachers who leave climbs or deliveries. Thank you. Thank you, 117 00:11:33.279 --> 00:11:37.679 because without a doubt, they have a fundamental role in growth, in 118 00:11:37.720 --> 00:11:43.480 development, in learning, in the emotional life of their students and to whom 119 00:11:43.519 --> 00:11:56.480 not a total and genuine invitation to question and nothing else. Today they are 120 00:11:56.519 --> 00:12:05.799 honored to question what else they can do to grow their educational style. We 121 00:12:05.840 --> 00:12:09.679 ' ll listen to each other tomorrow at 1: 00 p m, with 122 00:12:09.759 --> 00:12:15.399 more chayo with you. I hope you have an extraordinary afternoon that your children 123 00:12:15.559 --> 00:12:20.399 will continue to enjoy this day of rest for many children. I' m 124 00:12:20.440 --> 00:12:24.720 chayo busquets. This was chayo with you. We meet here tomorrow at a 125 00:12:24.879 --> 00:12:31.399 central audio.