You're listening to KFI AM six forty on demand KFI AM six forty. You
have doctor Wendy Welsh with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Wells Show.
I want to let you know that after this segment, I will be opening
up the phone lines and taking your relationship questions. I love to weigh in
on your love life. I'm just going to throw out the number here and
I'll say it again at the end of the segment. That's one eight hundred
five two zero one KFI. That's one eight hundred five two zero one five
three four. Okay. You know I weighed in on Jada and Will's marriage,
and you know it's absolutely okay for me that people have different kinds of
marriages. The lying part really bothers me. So I wanted to bring in
somebody who maybe even more open minded than I am, and is very supportive
of this couple and many couples who live different kinds of arrangements. Doctor Tammy
Nelson is a psychotherapist and author of The New Monogamy. It's a great book.
You should get it. Hi, Doctor Tammy, how are you,
hi, Doctor Wennie, how are you so glad to be here? All
right, I'm sure you've been interviewed all over today for Jada and Wills to
weigh in on their marriage. But what reason would a couple have to do
this, to separate for this long and not tell anybody. Well, I
mean, just like any other couple would treat their living what I call living
a part together relationship private. It's interesting because they're celebrities, so there's a
difference between privacy and secrecy, and we think that because they're in the public
eye, we should know everything about their about their relationship like so for us,
it feels like they kept a secret from us, like we're in a
relationship with them. That's how I feel. That's how I feel. Jada,
my best friend has kept a secret from me, right she was cheating
on you? Yes, okay, so you've put it into so we shouldn't
ever put pressure on celebrities to make every aspect of their life public. That's
the first thing I do want to say. But why do you think they
as a private couple show? I mean, do you think they had an
inner circle of friends who knew who are also sworn to secrecy? Like were
they living so separately? How does his work? I mean somebody had to
know that. You know, their kids certainly knew, and that is a
concern, you know. I mean, all families have secrets, and I
wonder what the pressure was for them to keep the secret. But maybe they
were doing it. Maybe you know, maybe Will and Jada, we're doing
it to protect their kids. And I think as parents we have to look
at what, you know, what links were going to go to to protect
our family. You know, what Jada's saying is that she didn't ever want
to get divorced because for her, it didn't serve her as a parent.
And I think we have to look at that. There's a variety of ways
to have monogamy, monogamy just being being married to one person. So they
had this open agreement, whether they call it an open marriage or not,
they had an agreement that they were going to stay married legally and have a
non traditional family relationship. Well, the thing that I find fascinating is they
went to such great a lengths to pretend that they were together. For instance,
on her Red table talks, when she you know, decided to admit
that she had an entanglement with a young was he a repper? August?
Thank you? And then there was this whole you know, come to Jesus
moment where the two of them bonded over this pain that their relationship has had
and et cetera. And they acted like they were fully married and this was
an affair on her side, only when now we know that they weren't even
living together. So they they did the whole show as an act. What
do you think of that, Well, I think it's it's a little disturbing
for the people who are in open relationships, who for them, they were
kind of like the poster the poster people for open relationships, kind of starying.
You know, look, this can work, and this can work in
public in public relationships. So if you want to have an open relationship and
talk about it in a really loving and caring way, this is the way
to do it. And now to say, well, we weren't really in
an open relationship, we kind of our kind of weren't like, I think
it's a little confusing. And I think that just goes to show that we
as humans want to pigeonhole people's relationships. We want to give them a name.
And I can tell you right now that monogamy is not binary. It's
not like you have a traditional marriage or you have a wide open, consensual,
non monogamous marriage. There are so many shades of gray between which I
think there one of them. I think they fall on that continualm You have
even said on this show before that you think an affair is a messenger.
It's telling you something either about your own need or a need of the relationship,
and we should pay attention to what that message is more than just moralize
on the right or the wrong. I did I paraphrase pras you correctly.
Yeah. I think affairs can be you know, wake up or break up
moments. I think they can also be away. Instead of feeling like,
you know, we're actually looking for someone, I think we're looking to be
someone else. So they may not be looking for someone new necessarily, but
if you're looking to be someone new, it's really important to figure out who
am I trying to be with these other people or this other person, and
can I integrate that part of myself either into my marriage or into who I'm
trying to be in the public eye or even with myself, Because it's really
the compartmental is a and the splitting off of disintegrating that creates such a feeling
of not living in integrity, which is what I think they're challenged over right
now. But I think I think that they were as confused as we are
in many ways. She says that she just wasn't She told Hoe to copy
on the Today Show, Jada that excuse me, she just wasn't ready to
go public. What could have taken her so long? Seven years? Well,
it's interesting that it's seven years, right, I Mean, we joke
around about the seven year itch, But people really do go through phases of
their life, like we go through our own developmental phases, and relationships go
through developmental phases. So maybe you know, the kids are at a certain
age now, you know, each of them have grown to a certain age.
Maybe they've got more independent projects going on, and they're you know,
maybe one of them has another relationship, you know, in their back pocket
that they're ready to mouth. I have no idea. Who knows, Oh
that could be it. Maybe one of them is ready to go public with
their relationship. And also, she does have a book coming out this week
that she's promoting and we are talking about her. So it's so smart for
promotion, it's pretty smart. What about the fact that they supposedly do not
have a prenap. Do you think that kept them undivorced? Well, I
mean we're hearing about things like Jonas and Sophie and people who like announce their
divorce and then take it back and sort of say, well, maybe we
shouldn't get divorced, And I think that says something about how we handle,
you know, endings in our society today. We're really good at the beginnings,
but we kind of fuck at the endings. You know, it's very
very complicated, very complex, very painful. Although we used to laugh at
Gwyneth Paltrow's conscious uncoupling, and now it seems to make so much sense.
Oh, I think we have to use intentional divorce and do it with integne.
So if you're gonna end your relationship, to do it with respect,
you know, thank the person, Thanks for everything we've been through, Thanks
for all we've learned from each other. I really appreciate it, and I
wish you, you know, the best in your world. It's time and
you know, what people do, This is my opinion I see it all
too often, is they don't know how to separate with respect. They don't
know how to separate with gratitude. So the only way that they feel they're
allowed to separate is through anger and contempt. And I watch people fighting years
after their marriage ended and still angry about the end and unable to integrate the
good that happened, because nobody stays in a relationship for years and years and
years if it's all bad every day, Right, there's always some good.
But do you think, doctor Tammy, that it helps people to separate when
they can focus on the anger. Well, I think you know, we
have this morality about marriage that staying together is good and breaking up is bad.
So regardless of whether you're angry or you separate in a loving way,
I think we still have this very black and white binary way of looking at
marriage. And anybody who does it in a way that's a little bit more
gentle or slow, or loving or caring should be should be awarded a prize
because it's not easy in our culture. So if Data and Will are doing
it in a transitional way that works for them, who are we to judge?
Who are we to judge? Especially if she sells a book that will
help support her after they divorce. Look, monogamy is not easy. Marriage
is not easy for anybody, so you know, listen to throw stones in
the glass marriage House. Exactly, we all live in the glass marriage House.
Doctor Tammy Neilson, thank you so much for being with us. If
you'd like to get her book, it is called The New Monogamy. Always
a pleasure to talk with you when we come back. I am taken your
calls. The numbers one eight hundred five two zero one KFI. That's one
eight hundred five two zero one five three four. If you have a relationship
question, let me weigh in. You're listening to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show
on KFI AM six forty. We live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're
listening to KFI AM six forty on demand KFI AM six forty. You have
doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walls Show. I'd
like to welcome my Instagram audience. If you'd like to come in the studio
with me and see what's going on here, You're welcome to log onto Instagram
go to my account, Doctor Wendy Walsh. Okay, I'm about to take
your calls. Before I do, I want to remind everybody I'm not a
therapist. I'm a psychology professor. However, I've written three books on relationships.
I wrote my dissertation on attachment theory. I am the recipient of eighteen
years of good therapy, so I've got lots of personal advice for you.
Think of me as an old auntie who would love to weigh in on your
relationships. Okay, Producer, Kayla, who do we have on the phone?
We have Maguel with the Will Smith question? Okay, Hi, Miguel,
you got a question about the Will Smith Jada Pa, Doctor, how
are you? I'm good? Which question? I have an interesting scenario.
I wanted to get your take. Do you think it's possible that Will Smith
saw Chris Rock as a mate coacher and had an overreaction in front of America
that this is a man who's the mate poaching our union, and maybe he
reacted because of that. So I don't know the history between Chris Rock and
Jada, but I know that she said at the time, this is old
stuff, Will, So I don't know. I think your question is a
good one. Could he have perceived him as a mate poacher so he had
to show off his stuff? An evolutionary psychologist might think that I think a
therapist might more say, you know, he will who He talks about it
openly in his book, witnessed his mother being abused and he felt incapacitated,
unable to protect her. So I would think that this is is trauma that
is being triggered again in his adult life, and I think it's more related
to that than his concern that Chris was a mate poacher. But excellent question,
Thanks Miguel. Okay, Producer, Kayla. Who do we have next?
We have Mark with a question? Mark. Hi, Mark, It's
doctor Wendy. Hey, Wendy, I need some advice on my relationship with
my wife. I'm happy to get advised myself in the doghouse this weekend.
Uh oh, you put yourself in the doghouse, would you do? Mark?
Okay, Well, it stems from I'm a nighttime truck driver, so
I'm gone all night and I sleep all day. And so my wife,
who's involved in our church, keeps getting more and more involved in different activities
and programs, and I think called peel the onion, where it's like a
therapy for people get rid of their past regressions. Anyway, so she's more
and more involved and she's more and more gone from the house. Mm hmm.
You're sleeping anyway during the day, yes, okay, but it happened
into nighttime activities with the with the girls, and it's it's almost every day
of the week type thing. And and you know, I'm feeling like I'm
not getting enough lifetime fair and I'm feeling left out and I'm feeling jealous of
her. Oh did you express it like that? Yeah? Well, so
Friday we had a big blowout about it, and I mean, she knows
how I feel about it. And I told her it's it's becoming more and
more and I'm seeing less and less of you, and I feel it's hurting
our relationship. Yeah, that's fair to say. And what was her response,
animosity? Okay, So Friday, I go to pick up a prescription
and on the way out, the pharmacist compliments the shirt that I have on.
Okay, and so my wife is a stay at home wife, she
doesn't have to work, and so I told her, yeah, the guy
just complimented my shirt. And I said, I'm thinking about buying another one,
and these are one hundred dollars shirts. And she said, well,
you've been spending a lot of money on yourself lately, and I and I
snapped back by saying, yeah, well I work. I think I deserve
it, and that started a whole thing to words gave me. She gave
me the cold shoulder, and she says, you know, hours later,
or maybe over the weekend, she said, what you said hurt me so
bad. You made me feel like I'm worthless by saying that what I said.
Okay, so do you guys have children? Mark, I need to
interrupt because we're on radio and we don't have time. Okay, so let
me say this. Basically, I'm going to translate what your argument was.
You are feeling abandoned by her because you're working all the time, and then
you want to see her, and she's getting more and more involved in another
social life for social support almost every night of the week. So you guys
have an argument where you're saying, I don't feel you love me enough.
I don't feel you want to spend time with me, and then you do
a tit for tat and do the same thing back. When she says you
know you're spending a lot of money on yourself, you say, well,
Lisa, I work, So you implied you're not valuable. Right, So
you've each implied that each other are not valuable, and the way you get
back to love is in a moment of repair. You do that translation,
you say, I was trying to tell you that I feel not valuable to
you, and then I accidentally told you that you didn't seem valuable to me.
But we both need each other. You need to you know, whatever
the work you do in the house, I appreciate and then talk about it,
But you guys have to get together in a place of repair and love.
Instead of accusing you do this, you do that. You do that,
stay on yourself and also ask how words, how can we solve this?
What can the remedy be? Instead of like you need to not go
out so much, or you need to do that, forget all that,
just talk about I feel this and how can we solve this? And if
you guys can't come up with ideas and solutions together, then I highly recommend
you go see a marriage and family therapist, that you find the time to
make your relationship a priority because right now you're both drifting apart. She's drifting
apart with getting other social support. You're drifting apart because you're working. I
understand the night shift is really rough on relationships. You're working all night and
sleeping all day. You guys have to find some common ground to get back
into love. Thank you so much for calling, Mark, and I'm so
sorry you're going through this. Okay, if you'd like to call in the
numbers one eight hundred five two zero one five three four. If you're watching
on Instagram and you can't hear the caller, you can download the iHeartRadio app
and you can hear both sides of the conversation, although I do try to
repeat the question. Okay, so I have a question that just came in
on Instagram. Here we go, Dear doctor Wendy, any tips for moving
on after a four year relationship. To make a long story short, I'm
a bisexual woman who is involved with a married straight woman. I met her
at work, fell in love unexpectedly on a drunken night. I want to
pause right there. Anybody who falls in love unexpectedly is not aware of their
needs, is not aware of who they want to be in relationships. And
you need to go to therapy so that you're not sort of blind, like
some kind of emotional hijacking. Happens to you. Then she said, I
never thought i'd be in between anyone's marriage. But it's complicated. At first,
I had no idea she was married. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. Then you're tached, you're into it. But she made the first
move and things progress from there. She almost separated from her husband, but
decided to stay for the kids and financial reasons. And I'm left with a
broken heart. He has no clue about me. She never told him.
My advice to you is heal and move on. You learn something really valuable
here. You've learned that when you get involved with somebody who has a primary
partner, there's a very good chance that it's not going to turn into a
full time relationship. It is hard to get over. Spend some time grieving,
go to therapy, find out why you were blindsided for love by love
and not aware of your needs. It is very important. I'm so sorry
going through this. I know it's painful, but you learned something really important,
didn't you. All right, if you'd like to call in, the
number is one eight hundred five two zero one five three four. That's one
eight hundred five to zero one KFI. You are listening to the doctor Wendy
Walls Show on KFI AM six forty. We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
You're listening to KFI AM six forty on demand KFI AM six forty.
You have doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walls Show.
I am taking your calls weighing in on your relationship life for my drive
by makeshift Relationship Advice. Okay, producer Kayla. Who do we have on
the phone. We have Veronica. Hi, Veronica, It's doctor Wendy.
Hi, Doctor Wendy. What's your question? Love? And I'm listening to
you for a long time. Oh, thank you? What's your what's your
question? I have a girlfriend who who are? Our relationship has pretty much
come to an absolute stop and it's been I've given her some time, you
know, to what it is that she had a problem with, you know,
to get over. Because she's a Taurus. My son's a Tarus.
I know how bullheaded they can get in there thinking. So I was giving
you a room. I've attempted, you know, numerous times to contact her
a text, you know, and I know she's reading them, but I
have she's not responding, and I just don't really quite know what to do.
Is going on six months now. It hurts so haright with her,
Veronica, let me tell you it has happened to me. It's happened to
me right now with one of my friends who I care about deeply. I'm
still not sure why she's mad. And I will tell you this, even
though it is very, very painful to us, the one, excuse me,
the one who's being ghosted or ostracized or given the silent treatment too.
Even though it's painful to us, they are not deliberately trying to hurt us.
What they are doing is trying to cope with their own feelings because they
were ever given language for words or language for feelings. They were never giving
words for feelings. So the only thing they know is to distract themselves and
move along because they can't. Now. I have to tell you I have
a friend who did this to me many many, many years ago. It
lasted for many months as well. We both had children at the same elementary
school. And one day, months into it, after I texted and called
and said, you know what's up and why are you mad at me?
Whatever? And no response, no response, no response. I see her
walking across the schoolyard and she and I literally have to pass each other.
We're both going different directions, we have to walk past each other. There's
no one else around. You can't not acknowledge somebody. And I said good
morning, and she started crying. She threw herself into my arms. She
said, my best friend just died, her best friend from childhood. And
because she was in a vulnerable mond moment and full of sympathy, she was
able to open up and connect. Now it's ten years later, we're fine,
we've been fine. And I said, what happened back then? Why'd
you ghost me out? What's the deal? What does it feel like for
you? Help me understand? And she said, there are no words.
It's like I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say,
so I just do nothing because it's like when I try to think of
what to do, there's just a blank space in my head. So as
much as we who have been shut out, imagine that they're sitting at home
going, hey, I am not going to answer that text, but that
hurts her, they're not. They see it, get slightly ruffled and distract
themselves with something else they can't even bring themselves to focus on this because they
were not taught as children how to voice their feelings and they can't. So
it's important, Veronica, that you still love yourself and I know you miss
her. You're going to have to replace her. There's nothing you can do
at this point except to move on and know that you are lovable and you
are deserving a friendship. Thank you so much for calling with that question,
Veronica. It's something that happens to so many people, and I'm glad you
shared it. All Right, we have a little more time. I want
to go to social media. Here's some relationship questions that are pressing and people
ask a lot. How about this one, Dear doctor Wendy, how fast
is too fast when starting to date someone, as in the time spent together,
affection, intimacy, et cetera. This is a question asked by people
who probably had a you know, dysfunctional model for love, and so they're
always like, is this normal? They're asking themselves, is this too fast?
Is this too slow? Should I be having sex? Now? Should
I be? Because they don't really know what feels right to them, So
I think it's important that you get in touch with yourself and your body to
see about that pace. I'll tell you what's not normal. What's not normal
is too much too soon. If you meet somebody on an app and you're
suddenly texting every date, no, no, no, no, that's way
too fast. Intimacy, you know, it slowly opens up and you must
meet in the real world. To develop real intimacy. You must be able
to, at the very beginning say things like, you know, I'd like
to share that with you, but I don't think we're there yet. I
don't think I'm ready to share that with you. That's called being intimate,
but having boundaries and then slowly opening up affection. It should take time.
Somebody shouldn't be, you know, manhandling you on a first date shouldn't happen.
It should be And I'm watching what they're exhibiting on the Golden Bachelor and
I'm gonna throw up, because no, you should have a couple of dates
before you hold hands. And the good guys nowadays ask, they say,
hey, can I hold your hand? And you move slowly towards it.
The research is clear. The longer you wait to develop the physical relationship not
I mean full on sex, I mean affection. Hold hand holding, hugging,
kissing on the cheek, whatever, that can happen fairly soon, but
moving towards a deep sexual relationship should happen after you've developed the most important thing
you're going to need in your relationship. Trust. If you don't fully trust
somebody, you should not be having sex with them. If you can't talk
to them about sex or your reservations, or you're wanting to slow things down,
then you shouldn't be having sex with them. And I think all relationships
have a time at the beginning. I call it the time of unknowing or
nobody you know, both sides don't know, like do they like me?
Do they like me? And that's sort of an exciting time because you've got
some nervous chemicals along with your attraction action chemicals, the neurochemistry, right,
So just stay strong, slow things down. There's all the time in the
world to develop a relationship. And I know you're saying some of you out
there, but they'll leave. They'll leave if I ask them to wait too
long. And then you should do the touchdown cheer because they're not your person.
If they don't understand you and empathize with what you're going through. They're
not your person. And that's the other great thing that everyone needs to learn
in human mating. When to let go, know when to hold them and
when to fold them. Right, Okay, do I have time for one
more rowell? Or we know no at the end? Okay, So slow
it down, everybody. I preach slow love, all right? When we
come back, Oh right, on that same subject, how to find love
without having to hook up? Want me come back. You're listening to the
Doctor Wendy Wall Show on KFI AM six forty. We're live everywhere on the
iHeartRadio app. You're listening to KFI AM six forty on demand kf I Am
six forty. You have Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the home
stretch of the Doctor Wendy wallsh Show. It's a question that comes up all
the time, especially right now. So I just want to explain why the
problem exists. We have an oversupply of successful women when we have too many
successful women. Women, of course, have the economics to be able to
enjoy sex for sex's sake. They can enjoy their bodies. They've got the
birth control pill. They can hook up and have fun and it's great why
not, Well, because here's what happens to men. When women put as
I like to say, sex out into the economy in high supply, men
get lazy. They don't have to try. I mean, one of the
reasons historically that men have worked hard to raise money is to impress a woman
so that they could pay for nice dates, impress her with a fancy car.
But now he can sit swiping through those dating apps and just see who
wants to hook up tonight. And yet women are pressed during their reproductive years
to find a mate if they'd like to have a mate who would also contribute
more than genes, to find a mate who would like to stay around.
And so women and men, I will say, aren't happy, many of
them with the hook up culture, but they don't know any other way,
because it's become normalized. There are many young people who meet by text,
meet and have sex before developing a relationship, and then one of them goes
to each other and that's that, and it happens every day in this city.
A new study published in the Review of General Psychology found that hookups have
become the standard part of the contemporary dating scene, and they blame dating apps
the Researchers say dating apps offer convenience and access to a vast pool oftent partners,
and they also have an emphasis on quick and superficial connections. So therefore
quantity seems to become the goal over quality. I was looking at one of
the questions that someone DMed me earlier, and I didn't get a chance to
get to it. But it was like, how come I text these guys
on dating apps and they don't seem to want to get together in the real
world. Are they just collecting women? Yeah, that's what they're doing,
they literally. So let me explain how men and women use dating apps very
differently men are When women get on a dating app. First of all,
they look at a man's profile, They analyze every photograph, They read what
he writes, They read into what he writes. They imagine what that is
a metaphor for, or they imagine what he really means. Then they scrutinize
those photos. They try to decide whether that lamp behind him is from Restoration
Hardware or Ikea. They try to decide if the hat is hiding a bald
head or not. They try to decide, you know, who took that
picture? Does he have no friends because he's alone in his bathroom with the
toilet in the background. Oh no, guys don't, okay. And so
women scrutinize and they're very selective with who they match with, and they get
very excited because when they finally find one that they match with and they really
like him, almost always it's a match. All of a sudden, the
app goes it's a match. The stars and stripes happen. I don't know,
fireworks go off on those apps. But you know how men use those
apps, Ladies, They swipe on every single woman, They match with every
woman, and they just see who likes them. So don't get overly excited
because they're message box fills up with twenty women really quick, and when they're
bored, they go through and shoot a few messages, and a few of
them. They wait till Friday night when it's late, and then they say,
who wants to listen? A young woman I know had never spoken to
a man ever in her life and on a DM, no, hello,
no, please to meet you. Hey, I've been following you, you're
pretty whatever. Nothing. The DM just said tonight or tomorrow night. That's
all it said. The audacity isn't that crazy tonight or tomorrow night? What
did that person say? Bad? She said for what? And he said
ice cream, which I think could have been a metaphor. I don't ice
cream. I don't know. She ghosted him after that. Good. Yeah,
no social skills. He was an athlete, just saying they're not known
for their eloquence when it comes to words. Okay, So let me tell
you how you can find love without being pressured to put out so quickly.
Because women ask me all the time, but the guys say, if we
don't have sex first, then don't be with him. And if you say
no to enough of them, I always want to remind you. Even in
a so I talk about an oversupply of successful women in the mating marketplace.
So even if there's a bumper crop of tomatoes one season and the price of
tomatoes drops to one cent ahead, I promise you there is still a market
for an organic, heirloom artisan tomato that is two dollars ahead. So which
tomato are you? If you value yourself and just wait and are known by
saying no, no, no, no no, then eventually somebody is going
to say WHOA This person likes themselves this person. I'm ready to wait for
this person. This is amazing. So let's talk about how you can find
love without having a hook up. First of all, replace the dating app
if you have to use technology, Join common interest online communities instead. We
talked about this at the beginning of my show. Whether they're on Patreon,
meet up wherever it may be. Join online communities where you can keep your
cameras on and just meet friends. Also work your real world social contacts and
attend real world social events. Don't be shy. Say yes to everything,
business, networking things, anything you get invited, people's birthday parties, or
you barely know. Just get out there. Get out there all right now.
When you do meet somebody, do not be shy. Be very honest
about your long term goals. There is nothing shameful about wanting a committed relationship
and wanting a family, So you should not have to hide that. And
how do you do it? You engage in meaningful conversations. Don't lead with
sexual attraction. So I had the funniest conversation with a girlfriend of mine this
week. She has a great boyfriend now, but she goes So here's the
thing I really love to to really love to dress slutty, she said.
I love to dress slutty, she goes, but I never do it in
the first three dates. I always dress super conservative until he earns it,
and then I show up at all my sexy attire. So think about that.
She knows how she's marketing yourself. You can market yourself for short term
relationship, or you can market yourself for a long term relationship. Two different
sets of attire, two different levels of conversation. You can lead it also,
dare I say it, don't hook up, Just don't do it.
Take your time. I know. Hookup culture glorifies the idea of sexual freedom,
encourages you. They call it feminist. Even no immediate gratification is not
more important than building a deep emotional connection. And if someone's pressuring you to
have sex or get rid of them, just leave. We're done. That's
how you find love. When I met my sweet Julio, it was late
least six weeks before we you know, had the fun and merrily still around
still around three and a half years later. Okay, before we go,
I just want to say something about Susanne Summers. My heart goes out to
Alan Hamill tonight they were the longest, most loving, most committed couple I've
ever met in my life. We had conversations a few years ago. They
were approaching their fiftieth wedding anniversary at that point, and I asked them could
I write a book with them co author about their love story? And Alan
Hamill called me. He was so nice. He spent so much time on
the phone talking about my proposal. Said, you know, basically, we
work with so many doctors with all the stuff we got going, we already
have deals, but you know, thank you for sending it. They were
just so sweet in public. They loved to make jokes about their life together,
pretending or maybe not that it was hot right till the end in a
public group. He actually went to my same university, and you know she
met him. She was a nineteen year old assistant, right, And his
joke is, what was the pickup line that won over the most beautiful woman
in the world. Well, it was easy way back then. It was
just dull. Can you get me a coffee? But he also said the
night he thought up the thigh Master, he was in bed and he said,
and so I didn't want to forget it, So I rolled off of
Suzanne and wrote it down. They were adorable. They were a lovely people.
Alan, My heart goes out to you with the passing of Suzanne Summers
announced today. Such a gem, such a very bright woman who knew how
to play ditsie. But she was super bright, super smart. And I
think I'm gonna go out and dig out my thigh master in honor of her.
You know, they came out with a vibrating one at the end.
How fun is that? Thanks for watching it or watching listening to the Dr
Wendywall Show. I'm here every Sunday from seven to nine pm. You can
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You're listening to the Doctor Wendy wallsh Show and KFI AM six forty. We're
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