Iron Smoke Distillery in Fairport, New York is an award winning distillery that use
locally sourced products to make their bourbon whiskey. They have straight Bourbon Whiskey,
Casket Strength Whiskey, Straight Bourbon Whiskey, Rock the Barrel, two limited releases
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Pumpkin Pie whiskey. They have it all. It's flavorful, it's delicious,
and you can get the craft cocktails made with the Iron Smoke Whiskey right there
at Iron Smoke Distillery. You should get one to enjoy the acoustic sunset sessions
tonight Friday, June twenty First, it's Violet Mary Duo Acoustic Style. Then
at eight thirty something else is bringing the party to the stage at Iron Smoke
Distillery. Saturday night, it's Elvio's Rock Academy and it's going all night from
three until eleven thirty. Alvio Fernandez is truly a rock star that gives back.
He is part of the band Daughtry and he has the Rock Star Academy
and these kids are fantastic, really gonna blow you away. And then Sunday,
the twenty third come back for the Acoustic Sunset Sessions with Joseph Monty,
beginning at three thirty. It's all happened in one place, my friends Iron
Smoke Distillery in Fairport, New York. Baby Connors and Pharamis had two six
to two comp today. Well, this episode where a Fingerlake skaming and race
track before a comedy caravan. Big shout out to Kevin for all his help.
Doug Phelps can't wait to tell you about everybody's performance. But we were
talking about the passing of actor Donald Sutherland. Imagine if that was your dad
and you saw his butt cheeks on the big screen, you gotta remember the
movie Donald was getting paid for that. No, I understand that when you
get friends of your house and your dad's walking around his elvis in his real
life, you're like, wow, that's a little bit different that what happened
in your life. I thank god that wasn't filmed, and I may have
been getting under Doug's skin. Dog, I don't want to make it like
you know you do. No, I know money he's at the moneychev Kevin.
I do not want to make Doug uncomfortable. He's right. I enjoyed
getting under his skin, especially when I invited Doug's dad to sit down and
found out Doug's dad was a school bus driver. Wrapped the bus to get
up and talk to him, and he opened a bakedor and jumped out of
the bus. Didn't laugh at Plus comedian Greg Gwans and more. It's all
coming up right after this. Trotta the Restaurant at the Armor He has happy
hour, the perfect excuse to leave work a little early. Monday through Friday,
Toronta has a fantastic happy hour that begins at four pm and goes till
six pm. You'll find special pricing on the port of your own beer wall
and five dollars cocktails and glasses of wine. You know, happy hour wouldn't
be complete without snacks like their soft pretzel sticks served with housemade beer, cheese
and honey mustard. Hello, and they're just seven bucks. Stop into the
bar and take advantage of these and more. Trotta the Restaurant at the Armory
on location and driven by Victor Chrystling Dodge Cheap. It's Billified the Bill Moran
Podcast. Well, hello and welcome. Thank you for getting your pot on.
Thank you for telling a friend. That's how we spread the word about
the pirate ship. We are live at Fingerlakes Gaming and Racetrack in Canandaegua,
getting ready for the comedy show tonight. Having a little internet issue, so
I don't know that there'll be cameras, but we're working on it. We're
working on it. But Deggie Fresh is here. He's ready to go in
the house. Baby lock cocked and ready to block, and all the saying
goes. Kevin is working diligently on setting all this up. I'm not excited.
I was waiting out of the racetrack put some numbers on opening gun.
They shot my horse. Hey, yeah, he's looking much better. Uh
well I did. I got to tee you like you come out here.
It's nice. It's all right. The Fingerlakes Gaming and Racetrack. They had
a big sign out front for us and had a table off set. We've
been having trouble with the man. I may have just taken this table.
Oh well, that's fine, good enough. I don't know, Kevin,
he's a company man. I just walk in and take it. Yeah,
that's perfect. That's uh, that's the way we how we do on the
pirate ship Steel Booty. Uh. So, Doug is a big movie guy
and Donald Sutherland eighty eight years old passed away, and I bless him.
I always think, like, I go, man, what an interesting life.
You know, Keifer being his son and all. But I'm like that
alcoholic. I remember watching Animal House and I remember laughing so hard as he's
walking around with his pants off. You see his ass, and I always
go, what is that like to have your dad in really an iconic movie
everybody's seen, talked about and all that, And he's walking around with his
pants off and he's pegging some student. You gotta remember the movie. Donald
was getting paid for that. No, I understand that when you get friends
of your house and your dad's walking around his elvis in his real life,
You're like, wow, that's a little bit different. Is that what happened
in your life? I thank god that wasn't filmed. So different than Ben
Stiller? I mean, is he more famous than his father and mother at
this point? At this point? Yeah, But I mean, boy,
Jerry had a run and they had they had such a great comedy career back
in the day, you know, but uh yeah, I think that by
today's standard. Look the other night when you were on Captain and TOONEO,
no One, nobody today remembers them, you know, all of the stones
that I know, But the stones have staying power. That's the weird part.
Legends, you know what I'm saying, Like, it's just it's just
so different the way that that goes. You know, Zeppelin no longer exists,
but these guys are, you know, still considered one of the best
ever. I know, it's a strange thing, but the uh yeah,
I don't think anybody knew who they were outside of Jerry Stiller and uh I
forget his wife's but they were a comedy yes it was. And Mara yeah,
and they were a comedy duo. But Keifer Man, what a I
mean, he too had quite a career. I don't think Donal four right,
yes he was, he won Emmys. Donald never won an Oscar.
No, I think he won a Lifetime Achievement one in twenty seven and just
watches him. I think he get an Emmy? Did he get it?
Yeah? Here an honorary Oscar in twenty seventeen. But I mean they're giving
a lot of hun games, The Dirty Dozen, Animal Draft Draft. He
did over one hundred movies and films. It was AH News today. Yeah,
and with Ellie Goule. Yeah, it's like why would you? How
does he not get an oscar for some of these other performances that he did.
The Honorary Academy Award, a Primetime Emmy, a Team Choice Award.
What about a Space Cowboys Golden Globe? Yeah? Remember that? The uh
a Golden Globe right for a path to War? He was in clude with
Jane Finer when Jane Finer was a hooker, Uh, prostitute really and uh
trust dirty Sexy money, The Pillars of Earth. It's uh one of the
you could say, one of the great American actors I think of all time.
I don't think he was an American though, No, it was Canadian.
Canadian. Yes, he's Canadian. A really good interview on inside the
Actors Guild, and he will take him. He's North American. Yeah,
he's a Canadian act He got through the good border. Yes, and he
died in wear in Miami or something like that today eighty eight. As I
look I go, said Jimmy Carters. So let me go back for a
second. Did your dad put on the Elvis outfit once in a while when
your friends? No, I'm joking. Come on, No, he didn't
come on. No, once in a while. Never did. Friends were
doing friends? Huh did you put them on? Remember? I don't think
that's a lie. You never did a little Elvis yourself. No, tiny
Elvis was a tiny dancer. That would have been Uh, that would have
been great. Yeah, Remedy is a great room. Uh. I think
next week they're going to have the Tommy Burnette band out here. And uh,
I just saw that Modern English is playing at another local casinos. I'm
wondering if Tommy's gonna get in on that. Probably not anymore. No,
No, I don't think anymore. I think I don't even know if it's
the original members. I don't think they got to show here tomorrow night.
Who does? Yes, yeah, they do every Friday, but the I
know the Thursday night thinks they're trying some new stuff. That's why we were
doing comedy down here. But come out, man, because this place is
really amazing. But as you're saying that, I think foreigner who's getting into
the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame no original members currently in the band that's
out touring. I don't think there's any original members. Mick Jones is sick
and so they're pulling. They're pulling the Leonard skinnered basically like the band goes
on and yet it's not the original guy band. Yeah, it is a
cover band. It kind of makes you go, so there's a shot for
Danny. You're saying, yes, there is a shot for Danny. Danny
could be the uh Danny needs to get into a into a band. Uh,
you know, Doug, Tonight could be an opportunity for you to meet
some potential dates. No, I mean I know that right now we're talking.
We're're at five sixteen for you, But I mean there could be some
potential dates for you here. I think I saw, Look, there was
a line to get in at the valet and I even saw somebody pulling in
here with the Rascal on the back of the truck. What about what is
that it's got to cover? And all that is, like you could pay
five a ticket out on the horse neck. It's fun. But yeah,
to lock it to a light post out front because I'm not going to get
it up my stairs, Well, you'd have to carry her, have to
carry her, that's right, I'd threshold. I couldn't get her in up
there, wouldn't have enough energy for anything else. Would you date yourself?
Like, like, how would you pitch yourself if you were like, why
would you date yourself? Or you're fun You're I'm funny, Yeah, I'm
funny, and then you get to go out and hang But how like,
here's my question. I always wondered, like what happens with Dougie Fresh that
they're the ladies just I don't know, it's just the women I meet her.
That where I'm out there mainly married and at this point that's the tough
part. You know, most people are married and or they're settled in being
single, or they're yes, settled in their ways. That is a good
that's a good point. COVID push a lot of people not to go.
Maybe you need to drop your drop your ors, drop your age this decade,
yes, well what if you did? How young would you date?
If you could date somebody? How how long young would you go? Because
I'm with you, and I don't know if you agree with this? Fifteen
fifteen maybe, Yeah, you're getting to that point where it's trying to not
be picked any more. Douggie. I'm not picky. I'm just saying you
asking a question. Yeah, but fifteen if you like, because then there's
somebody that may still have things in common with you that you could talk about.
You could have conversation, that sort of thing. I mean, I'm
fifty three. If I nail somebody, that's twenty three, I'm a dirty
old no yeah, yah, yeah yeah. But if I nail somebody,
if I nail somebody as eighty three, that's a Hallmark movie. Me and
Anne Margaret. That's called sad. She was a three time widower. He
was a podcast duo that was that old. His goal this Saturday. The
uh, that's very sad. Eighty three you should go younger. I forty
three would be perfect, Yeah, forty three, forty three, sixty three,
I'm fifty three. Okay, five is that? I think thirty five
you could. I think you could swing at thirty five for some thirty five
year olds in her weathered I'm in the batter's box. I'm taking some swings.
Yeah, I met some people and okay, well tonight, I'm just
saying tonight, you never know, you never Here's the thing when you're on
stage and ladies are laughing and loving it and doing all this stuff, and
your dad's yelling, a that's what shown up there. That's gonna be amazing
for you to go do. So he said. I said that Doug's father
could do five minutes. No he didn't. Yes he did. Yeah on
Facebook, he goes out on my way in my tight five minutes. I
think we give him five? Should we get let him do five? Look
at Doug's Doug's ready to throw No, no, no, no, no,
no, you don't want him to. I'll tell him that we have
a full bill. And then everybody said had to be pre approved. He
can have my five. Everybody said had to be pre approved, and that
Doug had to go through rigorous things, rewrites. Everything was all kinds of
rewrites. We were stretching out. I'm giving them the five. No you
can't. You can't stay director tonight. I mean, I'm giving them five.
Doug would be so pissed, you would be pissed. I'll bring the
mikeys have to go up on the stage. We'll bring it right to him.
Yeah, exactly, Well, couldn't he Maybe he did? He would
do very well. You never know, maybe he's got something you can steal
or something you could punch up for him. Right, what if you did
a father son comedy comedy? No, it could be the Stillers. Oh
that'd be great. I no, all right, well I can see you're
uncomfortable with that sort of thing. I don't want to make you super uncomfortable.
No, you do. You love doing it? I do. Just
squirre them and I can see you you just love it, did you?
It's just the highlight of your day, is right now? Making me square?
Well it's not the highlight. Well okay, actually right, yeah,
no, no it is. It's actually the highlight. You've been here for
an hour and a half. You haven't got any square making him square me
and he's in your age range. Yes, right, absolutely. Pride month.
It is Pride month. Yes, it is now all thirty days.
How about the Buffalo Bills. I have not heard about the Buffalo Bills are
going to have a uh supporting supporting a team in the gay football Flag Football
League, Gay Flag Football League, which I believe twenty percent of the team
can be heterosexual. Yes, so yeah, yeah, oh the kicker,
Hi, no happiness, nothing but Joe You can sit right over there and
we're doing a podcast right now. But you're yes, would you like to
say something on the podcast? Let you know you did look at it right
next down? Have a sea? My name's Will. Do you have one?
You have to what in herself? You were well? Once you sit
down right in front of the microphone for a second at Peppermints in Canada.
Oh, sit down right, sit down, you can do five? Sit
down? You got five down for a second. You're going after Doug's dad.
Nothing cold, You'll be all right. So you did stand up?
Okay, get right into that microphone. Sit down, have a seat.
It's put on the headphones. We'll talk to you. What what what is
your name? Linda? Hi, Linda, I'm Bill. This is Doug
and Kevin. Would you Doug, have you ever worked with a microphone and
headphones before? Because you put those and then you talk right into the thing
and it's going to be wonderful to go. All right? All right?
Seventy five you're in the wheelhouse. You look damn you look amazing. I
want to kick you out of bed for gives give us what was your closer
with? Yes? There you go, tell us what your closer was when
you did stand up? Did you have a closing joke? Closing joke?
Get it? But you have to talk into the microphone right here in front
of you. I'm not good with bron. You're not good with broad Bro
Bron. Yes, it's a great one. You stile from Time's like for
men one hung low. There you go. Wait, wait, she may
not want to do that. Okay, all right, now you can hear
us. Is that too loud? No? Okay, talking to this?
Yes, you're on the news. Now, there you go. I feel
like I'm on there. You to it? How are you Linda? So?
Linda? How many years ago did you do stand up? Talk right
into the microphone when my husband went to when my husband went to Vietnam?
Okay, so, and then I got a drop down on the beach.
Yeah, and it was the Peppermint Lounge, the Peppermint Lounge. Yes,
and it's still there. And it's still there. And how many minutes would
you do on stage when you did some Oh I've done up to an hour,
up to an hour, sixty minutes a long time. You're darn right?
Yeah? Did you write all your own material? Just kind of riff
off the cuff. How'd you do it? Well? I did? I
did pretty good with talking and making jokes, yeah, just but dancing was
my forte Ah, so you danced as well? So you were a showgirl.
You did a little bit of everything. Yes, everything shook. I
got you while your husband was in fiat. Did you set her up to
come in here? Set up? So you were a dancer? Yes,
a stripper burlesque, no, b less stripping, talk right into that.
Just a lot of movement, just a lot of movement. Yeah, do
you miss it? No? Because we usually dance every week, every week
and your your husband still live? Yeah, yeah, he's here. Good
does he know about the thousand to night? I wish he was somewhere else?
So where were you? So? How did you end up back up
here? Were you from here? Originally? I'm from Virginia born and raised?
Okay? But so then, how did you end up in the finger
Lakes? In the finger Lakes? Well, we're there? Now? How
did you get this? She gave a mental finger. Okay, have you
had it? So? Have you been having fun here? Here with you?
No? Here in general, at the at the casino, I have
a lot of fun. I went over to a thousand yesterday, A thousand
yesterday. Now do you live in this area or you live back in Virginia?
Now? No, I live in Victor, New York. Ah.
That's what I was trying to get. So how did you end up in
Victor from Virginia? My husband started at Xerox. Xerox got it and made
a lot of money. Sure we're having fun. Yeah, that's it.
Victor is a great area too. Yeah, it's a wonderful place. Yes.
And did you you when he shows up around here? Average you ever
whip out the old act and get on the road a little bit? Well,
I do more with people in the band in a band, and they
like me to. You're a comedian or a groupie? I sing. She's
a singer too. Her dad does it, has a guitar. He's up
there with white hair, and he's wonderful. Okay, But he and I
sing together, Yes, we don't, even though I'm not in with all
the time. Yeah, that sounds fun. We have a blast. Well
that's awesome. Uh. Did you hear about Donald Donald Sutherland today? No?
I didn't. He passed away eighty eight years old. Gosh, I
didn't have the TV on. No, he's Were you a fan of his
movies? I liked him, Yeah, he was a he was a good
actor. All right, we will We'll take him moment where a finger Lakes
gaming and racetrack getting ready for the comedy caravan tonight. Doug is so excited,
I cannot wait. I am bouncing out of my He's bouncing out of
his seat, and I love this. I don't want to get squirm before
the Yeah you do, and don't forget your condoms because you might have fun
later. Oh that's right now with you now, I'm sorry. By the
end of his sectomy, any kendoms, Well that's all right, yeah,
yeah, you know what that is, right, her little snip snip downstairs?
So well, like cutting off their boots. Yeah, I don't think
it is, but I don't think. I don't think. All right,
we'll take a moment. But first, if you're ready to make this this
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Dods Jeep bram Root ninety six in Victor and check them out online at Victor
cdjr dot com. Paul Cole runs two things that are just near and dear
to everybody's heart, Landed Legends Raceway and Rose City Drive in Theater, which
is new this this is the first season that it's back right after how many
years was it dormant? Paul thirty nine, thirty nine years? But this
weekend you can go out there and relive all the magic that is drive in
theater with Inside Out two and The Fall Guy. Correct, it's his first
run movies, the double feature. I kind of like that because you bring
the kids for Inside Out too, they fall asleep, you're sticking around for
Fall Guy yep. And Inside Out two has been phenomenal. Uh, it's
one of the one of the hottest movies out and drivings across the country's been
selling out. We've been pretty full and looking forward to throwing it up again
this weekend too. That'll be fantastic. And then he got another Saturday Spectacular
at Land of Legends. We do. We have Saturdays of Spectacular this weekend.
We have the Northeaster Sportsman Series race coming to town as well, and
you know, we've had four different winners and five weeks of our of our
big blocks and the race has been phenomenal and a lot of last lap passes
and great great night out for the for the fans, the crowds of enormous
and growing bigger and by leaps and bounds every week. That's great. Now,
see people go for the entertainment to Land the legends, they go for
the entertainment as well to Row City, And I'm thinking, what about you.
It's entertaining for me, you know, we business is fun and you
know, of course it's it's like wearing a major complaint window. You've got
ten thousand different things are going on that is there for the hot dog or
the fry dough, or the points or the first or the track or they
number of different things. So it makes a challenge form here every weekend,
but keeps things exciting. And you know, we love the smiles and that's
the biggest thing. At the end of the night. I like going home
to see the smiles on the fans, whether it be at the drive in
or at the racetrack, people have left and know they had a good night
and spent their entertainment money. Well, yeah, I agree with you,
and I also think that it keeps you young, Paul. It does.
It does because I keep my weight down and it keeps me keeps me invigorated
to uh uh be ready for the next generations that are coming along. And
you know, even even though we do get a little flashbacks every now and
then, This coming Tuesday at the drive in, we have our Classic Night
Eteam will be brilliant, Oh wow, at fifteen dollars car load. So
it's a great night to bring the family out and many people watch the drive
watched EAT the first time to drive in, you know, forty one years
ago, and we're gonna be replaying it again this week. Curtsey one of
our local local sponsors, who's giving away a few a few free free passes
for that as well. That that's amazing and the weather's going to looks like
it's going to be pretty good on Tuesday, perfect night to go out there.
Thanks every this week, even with the rain, you know, the
rain comes through, cools it off and it's been beautiful night. Yeah good,
all right, Well check it out Land of Legends with the Saturday Spectacular
and at the Rose City Drive In you've got Inside Out too and fall Guy
this weekend and Tuesday night a little throwback to ET a whole lot of fun.
Thank you, Paul, you got it And if you can't catch it
there, catch it at Racetrack at win legendstv dot com. Watch it for
free perfect comedy at the Carlson has had some great acts come in. And
if you're one of these people who's like, oh, I would love to
see Sam Morrell, get on it. He'll be here next weekend. And
I only say that because tickets are selling out for shows. Bob the Drag
Queen is there for two shows this Friday and Saturday. You can't get tickets
sold out already. I don't even know why I'm telling you, it's just
sold out. So I want to remind you when Sam Morrell comes and he
is hilarious. He was a regular in Comedy Central's This Week at the Comedy
Seller. He was named one of the Comedy Central's Comics to Watch in twenty
eleven. He's performed multip I mean, the guy's been everywhere The Late Show
with Stephen Colbert, The Late Late Show with James Corden and Conan. He's
also had Stintson Last Comic Standing. He's hilarious. He'll be here for one
show Thursday June twenty seventh, two shows Friday June twenty eighth, and two
shows Saturday June twenty ninth. You don't want to miss out. Lock your
tickets down immediately at Carlsoncomedy dot comy we our self words booting the pree and
behind closed doves. I can't make them go away because you were on the
freedom something remedy, baby, we're missing douggies out in the parking und He's
getting one, he's getting a little he's getting remedy himself. Oh man,
that chicken is in love with you, buddy. I know you're a magnet.
You're a magnet old women and kids and puppies. Yeah. I just
gotta get somewhere in the middle, right. I just can't hit the bullseye.
She's gonna love your set tonight. Oh man, she isn't. She's
gonna trying to jump on stage. Is gonna take her teeth out show me?
Oh my god, she was all set. She was talking about when
she just came over and she said, uh, ride a horse, save
a cowboy, she goes. I've certainly was bad. I wrote a few
calls thinking about my cowboy had I'm like, I'm not saying a word.
I'm not adding any fuel to that fire. Sure, I want me to
call HER's got a cowboy show you do. Doug's got a black shirt.
He's ready to go. He's the villain, he's the bad boy cowboy.
Well, I could probably take her in the bank seat in my car,
and by the time her husband gets out there with that rascal, it's at
least fifteen minutes he runs out of juice. Another twenty oh. That was
It was funny because I honestly thought you set me up with that. I
didn't know. I didn't set you up. Why would you think? Do
you think I would show you first? First of all, here's the thing.
I'm not going to torture somebody on the date. No no, no,
no, no no no, to show her well because you squirmed.
But I like to think that she's from We're Previrginia and she was a dancer.
I'm like, okay, you're a date, you're an old you're older.
Yes, a joke about this dancer. I was a strip dj Imlake.
I didn't. All right, you're a friend of Bill's nothing. You
obviously three old fashions before you came over. Pros. Pros can adapt to
any situation. And she says she was a comedian, but she can't.
You know, I got to push your head closer to the She like,
when you think so, yeah, see. Now here's the thing, like,
you have no patience with these people, you get annoyed with them.
How do you date old people when you have no fucking patience? I watched
your date old people, all right, Well, what do you do with
them? Just look at them, stare at them, make fun of him.
Tonight is right hand to start working. I don't know if annoyed is
impatient. I guess yeah, I mean to be. No, I can
understand. I mean, you were uncomfortable. I told you, well,
here's the thing that's wonderful. So I'm sitting at the other end of the
table. No one can see it because the cameras aren't working tonight. But
I'm sitting at the other end of the table. You were right next door.
She's watching you. She was getting That doesn't get me, That doesn't
bother me. Yes, but I'm telling her to sit down. She's not
moving, Yeah, and then she is out to hear when she'sy douggy.
She's had her buffets almost. I'll tell you're right, You're absolutely right.
I'm trying to get her in now. I got it. Now. I
know why Doug dates well, I know he says he jokes, but I
think there's some truth buffet. I'll say this, kidders never kissed, so
I know, I think it's for buffet. I think he puts her to
bed at like seven o'clock and then he goes out with the boys all night
long. He says, I come home at two in the morning. She's
just getting up for coffee. Hey, uh I I you know that we
have a friend Kevin that we heard about the new guy and the X talking
together. Laura Laura was And somebody wrote me and said, what would you
do if your ex X is new significant? Kind of like Laura with her
uh came to you to complain or get advice about your ex? How do
you handle this situation with you? Yeah? Would that be? I got
a text from somebody to date what and they said do you know such and
such? It was somebody I used to work with, a waitress, and
I go, yeah, why And I just called her. I'm like hello,
She's like, yeah, my son is dating this girl. Oh well,
she wants to get the lowdown. Son. You want to protect the
kid. I just said, you know what, wait, wait, wait,
wait wait, how old is the sun? Can I ask? Thirty
and forty? Okay, Well, that's old enough to fill the girl.
I needs to figure it out. She's like, Mama bear wants to know.
And I'm like, you know what my opinion would did work related?
And then I'd like to keep that to myself. Oh dog, look at
you. Man, you backed out? Why don't you? Because it was
my opinion? Really wouldn't Well, what if you said, uh, here's
the thing I did. I didn't like this person that because what are you
there different? Well, I'm sure your reasons are different, but those same
person that has no significance on the relationship, and I don't want to hurt
I don't want her judging somebody on my Yeah, do you know the son?
No? Okay, what if it was what if you did know the
soun would you call the son yeah and say, hey, man, I
have done that in the past, couple knowing somebody, yes, says dating
somebody. I'm like, dude, you gotta you get it. Cut this
out. The relationship he was in. I'm like, this is toxic.
You're better than this. Oh she's no, No, No. What I'm
saying is if you got a call from the if you did know the son,
yeah, and the mother called you, would you call the son and
go, hey, man, your mom is asking me about this girl.
Yeah, I would have no problem with yeah, yeah, okay, do
you ever have that, Kevin? No? No, how are your kids
nineteen fifteen and fifteen ten? Yeah you're getting there? Yeah, I think
that my kids can still barely tel their shoes. I know. My father
loved one of my brother's girlfriends. He always he because they broke up,
but he always goes, we're better off for having known her. He says
that, he says to this day, oh yeah, with reverence. Reverence
me. There's a couple from my past that he brings up and just strips
the shreds. And not my ex wife. But we do it. We
do it to my uncle all the time to make him uncomfort. Is that
no around my aunt? Yeah, he was dating the girl for a while
before he dated my aunt. Yeah. And we always always bring up Janine's
name, just just a well because but that makes you squirm, does it?
Not? Now? Do your parents ever do that too? My father
will bring up the hill Hills, a long time girlfriend until seventeen years ago.
We dated for two years. All right, So there. How old
were you when your parents got divorced? I think eight, so you weren't
at age rage where they would ask, you know, try to get information
out of you on either side. No, I don't remember that happening now,
so you know, they probably were a little more mature. There are
some people, though, man, that they play the kids like pawns.
My old man would always bring up an ex girlfriend of mine and we had
taken I took her on a family trip, and he went on about how
she ruined the family really to this day, to this day, we went
to she wor your son under a two twenty eight dollars Martine? Yes?
Probably, yes, yes, worse than that. She Uh, how old
were you taking a girlfriend on a trip? Oh? God? It was
like twenty eight six twenty seven. So we all went to England and my
I think my brother was studying over there. So we were taking like it
was one last family trip, as my parents called that. And I called
up and said can my friend come? And they're like, yeah, but
you got to pay, and I said, no problem, So I did
and she comes along and I remember all I know is my father just brought
this up, and I guess I must have blocked, blocked or blocked these
memories out because I didn't want to remember any of this. But we were
we were going down a river, I want to say, the River Tams
in England, and she had a Beavis and butt had keychain and when we
went under a bridge she hit it and echoed. It was like my fucking
old man was like you. Practically he leaped across the boat. He was
so pissed off, so mad. And then you're sitting in the corner dying.
Kevin's dying. I'm not dying, laughing. No, No, I
was super uncomfortable because my old man I must have the same gift too.
He can change the mood of an entire room with just the wave of a
hand, basically, you know what I mean. It's like, though,
just to make it probably, I think my brother was getting pissed off at
this person as well. Now every time he went underneath the bridge, or
just the one time, I don't know. I think it happened a couple
of times. I just think it was very embarrassing because you know, you're
in England and here's this, Yeah, the obnoxious American comes along with the
change and hits it when you're underneath, so it echoes, you know,
and then I know it was like, uh, got so drunk one night
in some pub. Was privately you were her? Not me? Not you?
No, I was I was fine. I was all good dog those
times. Okay, Yeah, I've let it go lately. Lately, Doug,
that's a new thing for me, that new thing. Yeah, but
I was like, holy crap. Yeah. So my old man would bring
this up all the time. But I can't imagine having an ex come to
you and ask for advice. If like, would you give it? I
think there's a given either you don't give anything, or yes, sand bag
the shit out of him. There's no middle ground. There's no middle ground.
What if you like the guy and you feel a little bit bad and
you go, hey man, this is why I left, or here's you
know. I just can't imagine an ex asking for advice. I could see,
you know what I'm saying, an ex husband or ex. No,
there are friends. Now, they might I run into that a lot of
the bars now, but we're friends. We just couldn't make it work.
No, a couple. But let's say she's let's say it's a lot of
times I've noticed this with Doug. Doug is what what are you going to
say, why do you start laughing? I'm just waiting to see what comes
out of the lion's mouth. Go ahead, I just know you have a
lot of female friends. You get friend zoned a lot, hey folks,
And I'll bring him to the stage. Guys permanently in the friend zone tea,
there's there's nobody, kid. Let me ask you this. I'm sure
you know somebody. Let's see, Let's say you were friends with the guy,
you got to know his wife. They divorce, and and you're the
type of person that I think they would both stay friends with you. You
know what I mean. It's not that actually did happen. We're still friends,
but I'm not as tight as I'm sure not as tight. But let's
say she comes in with a new a new guy, and the new guy
and her some couples get together, like I think our friend Laura gets together
with her new guy and her husband. If all of a sudden, the
new guy says to the husband, hey man, what do you do when
she starts fucking flying off the rails on this thing? And I don't think
I can be friends with if I carry and I got divorced, I don't
think I could be friends with whoever's next. You could be civil and kind.
I mean, I would say you always want to be kind, especially
if it's somebody that's hanging with your kids right that your kids are going to
be around. You don't want to go to the ball game together. I'm
not going to go to a ball game. And I don't know that.
If they asked for advice on how to handle a certain situation with it,
I'd go, hey, man, you got to figure out exactly. I'm
sorry I burned the manual when we left. You know what I'm saying.
It's like, what's the rule in the friend zone? If you are friends
with a married couple and they get the forced and the lady friends that she
wants a little dougie fresh, that is that against the rules? Wait?
Wait, wait your friends long hangtime here, that's a long hangtime. It
was a long time ago. I wasn't friends with the with the guy with
the guy got you, okay, But if you were friends with the guy
I had. I've had flings with people years ago that were married. I
knew people they were on their way out. Yeah, they were one foot
out the door, and I knew they'd never find out, So one foot
out the door, in your penis in her vagina, absolutely knock knock,
knocking one elbow deep yeah one. Yeah. So I don't know. I'm
not a player by any means. No, I know, I understand,
but uh we we we've seen your record. Yeah wait still I'm Vinyl.
Now there's the Dougie Fresh I've been looking for you. Right there is Linda.
I'll show her a singer too. I tell you it's how when you
bang. Some of you voted for Grover Clean Douggie over the twenty century,
get a street lets you do? Absolutely you put the bomb sc the w
W two bomb scare on your phone ring tone, and she's looking for a
dusk that eye under the old I'm scared, just like, Hey, how
you doing, honey? Yeah? JFK was a great guy. Where were
you? I wasn't born yet, but I want to know about you.
Yeah. That's so funny because I was joking yesterday with Bill Belichick's new girlfriend.
I know the answer is no to this, but I go, oh,
she's twenty four years old. Oh, and it's making headlines everywhere.
He's seventy two or seventy three. Good true? Yeah, she supposedly has
a philosophy degree in deductive reasoning, and I go deductive reasoning says this will
not last. But he's deductive enough probably to know that. But they seem
like she's shown up. She's at private meetings with him, He's gone to
her. She's a competitive cheerleader at twenty four. I thought the cheerstuff of
competitive ended after college, because I know that, I will say this,
there were many years there were arguments whether or not cheerleading was actually a sport.
Well, the cheerleading that we see a lot of times on the field
and stuff is I guess we could say not really. But like the winter
cheer where they do all that I'm gonna give you right now, which I
don't think I've done in the year too that I know yet. Tell me
you did cheer? No? Oh, well could you? You? Look?
You're a popular guy. You could be one of the bottoms. So
anyways, he's seventy two shits got in the bathroom too, Scale is still
holding it. Two twenty Did you get the blanket video? I did get
the blanket video. I'm sorry I was in the middle of it. I'm
sure you were thrown around all kind so he's seventy four, who's seventy?
Bill Belichick yet seventy two and he's and she's twenty four, twenty four.
My feeling is, what would they have in common to make something? Now
you joke about older women, but you got to remember when I was growing
up, I wasn't listening to led Zeppelin and Kiss and and Aerosmith. I
was listening primary to Elvis and Johnny Cash and Johnny So you have I knew
the I grew up with the oldies. I always joked that I'm twenty thirty
years behind music because people are listening to lick it up. I was listening
to Teddy Bear. You know, my old man was in a jump suit
and I thought that was cool at eight nine, ten years old. Sure,
So I didn't have the Kiss records or anything like that. I was
trying to kind of you didn't listen to radio. I don't remember what I
was doing. Speak of the Devil and then my mother, Yeah, married
older, thirty years older. Wow, And that was mainly classic TV.
John Wayne, Gary Cooper carry Grant movies. So I'm behind the times.
So I do talk to people. I mean, obviously the movies is a
big part of my life, and I do enjoy talking about music and movies.
But that's interesting, that's older, ten to fifteen years older. I
surprise him with what I know of their their past or what they I think.
Uh, I think your dad is into the building. I'm very excited.
Yeah. I don't want to make it like you know you do.
No, I know he's at the money like Kevin. I do not want
to make Doug uncomfortable. It's just a Doug like U reacts to things that
makes me giggle. I can't help it because you could score me because I
would be the same way with my parents right, very much so. And
my dad is the biggest sister of your dead and his His dad doesn't have
a tight five. He doesn't have a tight five. He'll go on for
twenty Five'll be explaining something, breaking it all down. That would be the
best. Ah, that's uh Linda's husband. Yeah, Lynda' husband just walked
by. I wish we had the eyeballing Doug. Yeah, look at the
I'm gonna go out so I didn't kick his ash. Oh, we just
got away from David Phelps. Siri comes, Siri comes, Why don't we
take a moment, and then we can, uh, we can welcome it
to the way. He's already doing it, doing the dance. He's got
it going on. We will take a moment and we will be back.
We are finger Legs, gaming and racetrack, getting ready for the comedy caravan.
Ooh, the excitement, the pressure, it's all happening. But first,
Copplestone on Main and one on nine West Main Street in the village of
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mind? That is, if you want to taste it in person, get
to one on nine West Main Street in the village of Webster. It's Cobblestone
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five two O two ninety two eighteen and Mac of All Trades dot net.
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Jimmy Z's Plates and Shakes. Love me, love me, sweet love,
let me go. You have in my line. I love you, So
that's the sweet dulcet sounds me. David felows a dog mind. I can't
even look make it. You're so love the no, you're not. What's
going on with the race that's going on? Let me say, I love
that you're here, David, and I think it's so nice that you come
out and support all the things honestly that Doug does. And there are times
where I wish my parents had lived closer, because I know my mom at
least would come out. My father came to a comedy show once and he
goes, I'm gonna need eleven guests to leven this ship. I was lucky
enough when I was performing a couple of times they have my father come in
and see the performer. That's nice, isn't it? It was? It
was, and I think that he was proud. I think Doug appreciates all
that. And by the other night, you may not want to be his
father anymore. Who knows. Just a quick sports note that this is amazing
to me. There's a kid named Olivia Rayu. I believe is his name,
Olivia Rayu. He's out of Montreal. He is holds the world's record
for being the tallest teenager. He is seven foot nine. He's seven foot
nine. He just in America Country, in Canada, in Montreal with the
exchange. With the exchange, he is seven foot nine metrics. He uh
so, I believe he's going to be the tallest player of all time in
Division ones. I go, how the hell do you stop this guy now.
A lot of times he's gonna uh incoming Florida basketball freshman. Okay,
and his name is Olivier. I think RAYU is how you say it?
Man? I'm just thinking the opposite would be Muggsy Bogue, right. What
was muggsy like five four or five? Yeah? But this guy seven foot
nine now, A lot of these guys. I remember seeing Mark Eaton.
I lived in Park City, Utah, and he led the parade on the
fourth of July, and it was like watching a marion ede walk down the
street, like when he lifted his legs off. And then I think a
lot of these big guys they don't move as well. Some of them are
too thin. I remember Bradley who came out of Utah. I think that
seventy six ers tried to get him and put a ton of weight on him
and didn't worry. This kid looks coordinated, he looks like he's got some
weight, he looks like he's comfortable in his body, where some of these
guys don't along. Not as big as shack, not as thick as shack.
But I go, how the hell do you stop this kid when you're
seven nine and you're three sixty. You're like, it's like you're six one
and you're one to eighty. Yes, right, but he can move like
it looks like he can move until he is maybe nineteen or twenty. He's
coming in as a freshman, so maybe he's eighteen. Who's that Chinese guy?
That was Yao Ming. Yao Ming was seven eighty first came here,
was like he had a tough time running back up to the other new right,
that's the thing. So because he was so tall and skinny, right,
I think this kid is going to now I remember the Duncan Dutchman.
I don't know if everybody remember. He played for the Pacers, but he
went to Marris College. He was a big deal because yes, no,
yes, it was something. I forget his name, but he he was
a he grew to like seven two while in college. Came in and just
shot up. It's the weird, it's gotta be see. Here's the thing,
is like that has to be songs. Rick Smiths, how tall are
you? Six? Four? Me? Yeah? Six two, six to
two? So I have a son who's six's eight. You can't fit comfortably
in anything. I go seven to nine. What are you sitting in How
do you travel? How do you do it? Six eighth the other way?
So it's but I'm like, how do you I don't get it.
That would be impossible. My favorite is one of those guys that are like
six two or seven two seven four seven, decide that basketball is not for
them and they go play hockey or they play baseball or football. Have their
ring guys that tall playing hockey. Oh, Charis Charros was six six eight
off skates. Wow, the Rangers have a guy who's six eight off skates,
Matt Rempe. That's I didn't know. That's like, yeah, so
on with skates? How how many inches? Three more inches? So that
puts him over seven feet? Holy shit? Like, can you imagine that
coming out and they freaking rifled the park? I mean that's like your dad's
sitting next to you when trying to get ready for a comedy, just like
the can I imagine getting cross checked by a guy Like no, I can't
imagine make me nervous right now, You're not nervous and not nervous at all.
We're gonna have a great show tonight. This is gonna be We'll get
there. This is gonna be a lot of fun you as a father,
You've raised kids absolutely Okay, So last night we had a conversation about a
woman who was on a plane and a child stood up and turned around,
and it was just a three or four year old went but she did it
three or four times, and the parents weren't stopping, spits going all over,
and so it was more like, why aren't the parents doing anything?
So her husband had said something, Well, we got an email that I
printed out when I went into the studio today that I think is kind of
interesting and along the same lines. It was, I was at somebody rights.
I was at the pool. They live in a condo, so it's
one of those community pools, and I had only been there about twenty minutes
and these three boys around twelve years old had hit this woman in the head
with a nurse football three times. Mom's on her phone sipping her white Claw
Gavin with another woman. She was not paying attention. My neighbor politely asked
the boys to throw the ball, to not throw the ball near her and
her friend. The boys mumbled something sounded snotty. A minute later it happened
again, but this time they hit me. So I took the ball,
told the boys they'd get it back when they apologized to me and my neighbor,
and the one kid said why, I told them they were being rude.
We're we're just playing, okay, they said, So I get out
of the pool. I dropped the ball in the garbage. Ten minutes later,
mom comes over and apologizes for her kids and can we have the ball
back? I said, it's in the garbage. Told her boys should have
apologized to my neighbor, but instead they were being rude. And Mom says,
boys being boys, and I said, yeah, no, that doesn't
cut it. Eventually, the boys dig the ball out of the trash and
they all left. Five minutes later, there are signs that says no throwing
toys in the pool on the pool deck. Was my that? So this
is how they were like, well, how would you handle it? I
didn't handle it fine. First times, boys being boys. It was an
accident. Yes, Second time I'm a little perturbed. Yeah. Third time
I'm watching that son of a bitch as far as third time as I have
it, yeah, third time as I'm as get pissed off, Yeah,
exactly. And it is funny because I mean, I like to think that
I don't have young kids anymore. I have a fourteen year old, but
I mean his thing is always yes, ma'am, yes, sir, you
know, yeah, of course you can. But I mean I think that
most of the time you rein it in you got to sit on him a
little bit, don't you. How do you? I couldn't imagine letting this
this go on? DIDU did Doug do things like that? Was Doug a
disrespect from the boy? No? If you did, he would have been
yeah, well not swatted, but we would have had a discussion. Yes,
and it wouldn't have happened again. No, no, dog. Neither
were the other kids that he hung out with. Yeah, we almost disrespect
anybody, right, you knew who was in charge? Now, it's unbelievable.
Well, I think some of the one of the biggest problems is that
I think a lot of parents try to be friends with the kids, and
that I think is a bad move. Because I used always say to my
boys, and there were some things like I would let them kind of get
away with saying some things they couldn't say in front of their mom. But
once in a while, when all of a sudden, it was like hey,
bro, and I go, ah, I'm not your buddy. I'm
not your buddy. I'm your dad. It's not only the parents. Yeah,
you go to school. Yeah, school bus driver for twenty seven years.
Oh that's right. Okay, disrespect to the teacher and there's no backup
to take them to their principal. There's no consequence paid. They don't.
I don't know if you can teach it, but you can explain the situation.
Boy, bus driver, you did that for twenty seven years. Yes,
So hang on because I remember as a kid, the bus would get
so rowdy. There was a guy who pulled the bus over, would not
he got out of his seat, he came back, he's screaming at us.
I mean we were throwing stuff. I think somebody kept popping up,
hitting somebody over the head with their trapper keeper and then sitting down. We
had another kid who used to he was bald, he had alopecia, and
he would he would always wear a baseball hat. So sometimes he would take
his baseball hat on his hand, so he'd looked like he was coming up
on this side of the seat and then from behind, and then he'd reach
around and punch you as hard as he could like in the side or in
your leg and someone them be screaming in the bushire As a bus driver,
you got to lose your shit. Well, there's a few things you can
do. The best thing to do is put on your blinkers. Yeah,
your four ways, pull over to the side of the road, stop and
then pull out a book and just sit there. Really, did you ever
have to then when you're quiet, I'll continue. I gotta go to the
doctor I got. Did you ever have to talk to like a kick a
kid off the bus? I think a kid that was banned from the bus
just before I got off the school grounds, which was a no no.
He was just a pain in the sure I won't say yeah, And he
says, I you can't do this, I says, the door is open,
get your butt off the bus. Yeah now, and go to the
security man who I knew really well, and you tell him what you did.
And he did Yeah, unbelievable, And they put him in detention for
a couple of three There you go. Now I would be fired for that.
Oh absolutely, I think. Yeah, you may be. Oh you
may be. Because the kid needs to get home. You let him off.
You let him off the bus. Now his stop. Yeah, And
so it's weird too because you can track where the kid is if they have
a phone, and every kid has a phone. I got a friend whose
kid she this mom let the kids stay over at a friend's house and they
had to go to school the next day. Kid's thirteen. She notices that
he's running like, calls him and he goes, yeah, we're on our
way. And then she gets a call from the school. We saw your
son come up to the front door, drop his phone and the bushes and
leave because mom's tracking him through the phone, right, I mean that's kind
of a smarket. But now you can always you usually can find out where
the kid is. I was it tougher this time of year when they at
the end of the school year. The kids are losing their mind that you
know, they're all excited the school's over. They used to do like yeah,
because at this time of the year, Yeah, it was like school's
out. I had one kid give me all kinds of stuff and I stopped
the bus to get up and talk to him, and he opened the back
door and jumped out of the bus. I didn't laugh at that. So
I had to go to the principal who had been my principal when I went
to Hoover Drive. Okay, mister Foster, he was fantastic. I'd see
him and I'd go the other way. I just didn't want to. He
was a very stern, very good man. So he come on the bus.
He says, I want to see you in the office. Okay,
he's talking to me my forties, and we go in there. He had
the kid there too. Before the kid got there, I'm sitting across from
his desk and I'm saying, I'm sweating. I'm going back to when I
was, you know, in seventh grade. And he looks up. Don't
I know you? I said, I went here in such and such years.
He says, oh, I remember, I saw a ship and I
never, you know, interacted with him. But he was a great man.
And he took the kid right by the collar. He pulled him off
the bus and took him right by jumped out the back door. Now look
at it, well, the consequences of that of hurting himself for yeah,
of course it's crazy, it is, but yeah, winter time was it
was not that bad. I had a kid that I was late picking up,
and there was two inches of snow on him because I got lost.
I was stuck, and I'll never forget it. He had, Honest to
god, he had two inches of snow on his shoulders and head now and
he stepped up to the steps and I said I'm sorry, and he says
about eff in time. He got there and sat it down and shook it
all of us. Yeah, yeah, uh. Now we have jokingly said
that if you want us, you could do it tight five tonight, which
uh, you know, we had to have our sets pre approved. But
didn't you choke it? Did you have did you have some opening material?
Did you have some jokes that you would do? It was a serious thing
about the time that I was in the pope. Well they didn't run into
each other, but they were involved with each other. Huh. And we
just got back from Graceland, the wife and I. How many times have
you been to grace the first time? And it was a lot more than
I expected. It was fantastic. Do you ever have a chance to go
there? And they saved every piece of paper and everything that Elvis had is
in storage. There's somewhat to be displayed. That's unbelievable. It is interesting
because I did not hear that, Grace. Weren't they trying to weren't they
saying it was going bankrupt? Or my eah one time? Yeah, recently
I thought, you know that's been up and down. Yeah, you never
know that. The truth was this. They found a couple of unreleased songs.
Yeah, I would have. Man. Now, with AI, you
could practically put together a whole album if they had just like snippets of a
song, you know, you could finish it up and uh and do that
sort of thing. I just put the load the words in and make a
new song. Yeah, right with that sona or whatever. There's a I
mean, this AI stuff, it's is sort of scary and kind of unbelievable.
Uh So tonight You've seen Doug before, but I think he's got some
new material Doug. Doug even sent me a video of himself today moving his
blanket out of the way again. I know you love that. I did
love that. I loved it. I loved I love when you sent me
the video of you warming up for your last set, the last one he
did with Greg. Yeah. Yeah, So I think it's just going to
be a great show tonight. Fingerlakes Gaming and Racetrack inside the Remedy and the
Remedy also on Thursday nights start having some live music. They have a lot
of bands here on the weekends and things where they're starting to do some stuff
on Thursdays. And this is the first time I think they've ever done comedy.
So you know, all four people that are here tonight will yeah,
that'll be fine, all right, We will take a moment and be back
at finger Legs Gaming and Racetrack. You should come down here. Maybe you
could win some money. You might get lucky. You may get lucky in
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cozy up with your loved one or by yourself, or just cozy up
to the drink. I don't know, maybe cozy up to something like the
salt and pepper wings that they have over a bTB wood fire pizza and grill.
It's a great place to go. And I'll tell you this. They
got air conditioning. Yes, it's very important to have air conditioning these days.
I have had the chicken and apple panini, grilled chicken, apples,
cheddar pesto garlic aoli, served with fries or chips. I always say the
chips, but the fries are delicious as well. You know, don't don't
let me influence you, but let me influence you. It is absolutely delicious.
But I'll tell you this. The chicken spinach artichoke crunch wrap. Man,
that is something I think I inhaled it. I had to really discipline
myself because everyone makes fun of me when Matt comes in from bTB with the
food, so I tried not to inhale it. Grilled chicken, housemade spinach,
autochoke, dip roasted red peppers, served with fries and over fifty TVs.
You can catch every ball game that's on. It's a great place to
just go hang out, friends, family. That patio is fantastic. It's
bTB with fire, pizza, grill, and the mall at Greece Ridge.
Come on, Douggie, this is your song baby right here, right now?
Aren't you saying long than your dad did? How mad? Are you?
A mate? I find that hard to believe. I don't believe it
either. I don't believe it. I think you want to punch me right
in the face. I'm just in my zen mode. Okay for the all
right, all right, well, I know we got the comedy show and
Greg Owins is here. He's going to be the headliner tonight. I'm googling
the closes. You're on close closest bridges to four Lakes. Why why are
you saying that I can go jump up? Why are you why? This
is going to be fantastic tonight. I'm hoping that they just lost. It's
not that far. An eighty year old friends of mine from Forestil just showed
up. Awesome, all right, that is great. Okay, we got
three people. All right, we're coming almost double digits. We're almost there.
We're getting there. Yes, it will be killing told a ton of
people to come out. Don't even though it was free till today. Yeah
it is. It's free. It's a free show. And we still couldn't
get anybody. That's not true. It's early yet, it's early yet.
That that's no big deal. Uh. I've been making Doug uncomfortable and I
and I do feel a little bit better. I would like to apologize a
little bit to you, because you know, when you when you're going to
perform and stuff, you don't want your head stuff with other things. But
I pissed him off by you did telling his dad to do five minutes and
all that ship. And your dad takes it very seriously. He takes it
very seriously. I'm fine, all right, Okay. My wife says that
same thing when she's passed. I always go fu fine. Fine is the
worst F word. I really think that. Come on, Greg, you're
married. Fine, Fine, you are the word fine. I don't even
get the word fine. I get it. Look out the window. It's
just a gaze away from me. I'm fine. Oh yeah, well I'm
good, Doug. I have no window to gaze out. Yes, there's
no windows in here, and Jessy j Eye, I need an alligator,
Peter Pan, I'm excited. You know what. You know, what's so
terrible? Sad you but go ahead. No, But what's so terrible is
that I must have like Shoden Freuden or something, which is where you take
joy folks back in the day. No, that's perfectly. This is where
you take joy into other people's pain. Like I would be all uptight and
nervous sometimes before a comedy show, but if something went terribly bad, it
fucking I loosened me right up. I'm like, Okay, nothing's gonna happen.
It's good. And watching Doug sweat it out with this old man has
been just a delight for me. It has been a delight. Glad I
can make him happy. Well, I didn't mean to, like know you
did? I did, but I didn't realize what I was doing. Well,
you've done it like seven times now, so just up in your game.
You just wait for it. It's not like he's like, I see
if you were on the man, I see that. I'm just gonna just
getna Nike. It make everybody nervous, but but I'm okay, this is
good for me. I'm enjoying it. Fifteen hundred people are gonna die.
But now see, but this is when then you're the band on You're the
band on the boat, just playing it at the end. Oh, that's
very, very funny. I'm sorry. Where were you? You just performed
last weekend, didn't you. Uh, that's a long time. Yeah,
I know. Well it was. Believe me, I went to see the
Stones last weekend lot ago. It felt like forever. Chris, where was
I last week? Pittsburgh? No, No, I was local. I
was down in Philly a couple of weeks back. Yeah, how did that
go? Good? Yeah? Good? Yeah. It was a small room,
but you know I sold it out, so that's perfect. Yeah,
yeah, no, you can't. Maybe we should have charged we got you
know, poor Doug. Doug. What do you drink when you hang out
like with your parents? Do you have the old fashions or anything? Do
you make them drinks? Your bartend? I bartend watching the Bills playoff games
and I'll just have a Jenny Light, but I'll make up mixed drinks for
my for your friends and Kathy. Yeah no, at my house. Your
house now, it's the dirty martine, dirty martinis. When I go over
the house. I'll bring uh, little bottles of liquor and mix them up
something I might see on on Facebook or something. Yeah, the liquor is
there. They should have a liquor network. Why not, let's start it.
Yeah, I mean we drink. It's certainly enough. But I gotta
think like it's annoying. It's got to be annoying, like when you go
to friends houses and all ever taste a cocktail and say to somebody, I
can help you with this. No. Or I've been asked to play bartender,
yes, which is annoying. No. I like being by the bar.
You're okay, all right, same as being DJ. Now here's the
thing that I'm starting to wonder now that we've seen Uh, it's still making
headlines, and it was a great mugshot of justin Timberlake getting the DWY and
with uber and lyft nowadays, you really can't have any excuse at all.
And I've had someone in my family who has had one. But I'm starting
to wonder if all cars should come with a breathalyzer, because I do wonder
if people don't really know where that point zero eight is, at least for
New York State, like you know, we think that we're not there,
but all of a sudden, it's not a bad idea. They make you
buckle up er ticket, Yeah, geticket, you got to get on.
If you get a d W, you got you gotta put one in if
you get a d W. I so why, I'm just wondering, like
why not? It would help you out a little bit, everybody out,
you know. Yeah, and because these things get super expensive after a while.
I mean you're talking even just the lawyer is going to run you somewhere.
I would love to know where I am at with my drinking, like
how many I could get to. I would love to have either Hurley command
or Barnes come in and yes, have Carrie drive me home some night and
just see how I have a breathalyzer party. Have you ever done that?
No? But I think that's a great idea, actually, a breathalyzer party
almost because that way you would know when you go to the gym, right
and you know how much I can lift. I'm not going to embarrass myself.
I know where I'm at. I want to get a little stronger.
I go up maybe five pounds each time right on a bench or whatever I'm
doing same thing with my drinking. If I've hit three and I know that
a mom at like a point zero six, I'm done for the night.
But if I don't know, maybe I go over four. Maybe I can
do five ers, maybe I could do five. Ten years ago, I
was working at a wind jammers and somebody brought in a breathalyzer machine for a
quarter. You could put it in, put a stride and you can blow
and see where you are. Come to find out it was a scam.
It was a scaboarder just making them weazy, got it open, and it
was just really a little technology, just whatever it does to put up whatever
numbers. Okay, and COVID spent out like a fortune cookie little thing,
yeah, fortune paper, And I think we took the money and it was
like the twelve twelve dollars we bought everybody shots or something like that. I
think there's a place in the mall here. And when I was a kid,
we would go to South Street Seaport down in New York City and it
was like uh something with a B. Brooks something, but they had all
the gadgets and shit Brooks Brothers. No, No, that's the clothing store.
But this would be something along those lines. And brook Baby Brooks,
I think it is Brookstone and they had that you could buy a breathalyzer that
you could blow into, so I bought it. I don't think to fucking
get they set on Amazon. But I want a real one, like I
know it's legit like a legit, but there even I think there's probably an
app of something that you could plug into your phone. I don't know.
I want the one like they have for the interlocks. Yes, in a
car, that's what I want, but I would to make it safer.
I still want to be able to drive. I don't want to turn in
my car. What if what if we had the drunk root like there were
roads. It's a bunch of drunk people on there. Whatever happens happens.
We don't care, like bumpers on the bowl do that. But with uber
and lyft available, I mean, Doug, how many times you have you
ever had anybody get sick in your car? Just once? One time from
drinking? Yeah, okay, too many shots? Yeah? And what and
then and they usually charged back, don't they? You have to after they
get sick, you have to take the picture right there. Oh my god,
you don't have to clean enough first, and then took a picture.
You took up. You have to take a picture to prove that they threw
up. Okay, is it like the It's like the boob game at the
at the bar of the Mega Touch if you can find the corn. And
then I took it to delta side and they didn't know. As I said,
I dropped a slushy. Never tell them that you got sick in a
car. Won't clean it. They won't clean it, won't biohazard. Yeah.
Really, the seat belty got down and the seat belt they had to
take it out and wipe it all down. It was a mess. My
buddy was just starting to date as now wife and she got lit up one
night in blue trunks into the the heating system. Every time I'll blow it
was just smelling fun. You had to get rid of the car. Terrible,
disgusting. No, not an accident, but inside the car just pretty
guy. You taking the car and you're pretty good. It doesn't start it
well, right, I mean, if you're trying to trade that in anybody,
the smell of that would be awful. Maybe I'll text her and see
if you can come out to the party. On Thursday. Bring a preathalyzer.
Carry'll be there. I'll just get liquored up, Okay, probably spend
four hundred. Yeah, that's right. Next Thursday is our sex toy party
that we'll be doing, like the build out party that we're gonna have.
That's what we're calling it, the build out party. All right. So
tonight Doug is ready, Greg is ready. I'm not ready. I gotta
I'm gonna go change and we'll do the show to let you know on Monday
how it all went. But I will say remedy the I think it's called
the Remedy. Inside the Finger Lakes Gaming and Racetrack is fantastic. Come down
here with tons of TVs to watch games. When there's the horse racing on,
they have the Yankee game on a big screen that rolls up. They
have bands here. Next week it'll be the Tommy Burnette band on Thursday night.
But it's uh, it's a great place. Air conditioning, getting out
of the heat. Hot enough for you. Saw squirrel finally better than it
did. It took a little while to cool down, all right, you
and your zone. Yeah, a friend was just texting me about the place
and time tonight okay, so so I'm just watching. They have horse races
all around the world here not just a right you can go right and it
isn't amazing now, yes it's uh, it's a fantastic you can lose your
money from America. It's just somewhere. It's the corner of the globe.
Well, you know what. Oddly enough, a few weeks ago, friend
was telling me if he's a bartender as well, that they lost power,
they lost internet at the bar, that none of the TVs could work.
So somebody hit their phone out and they were everybody was gambling on the horses.
It was in Australia. Uh, and so they were giving the person
a dollar fifty cents or whatever, and then they were rooting on the phone
and he goes, you know, for two hours, I think it spent
thirty dollars. We had a great time. Yeah, a great talk.
We did that in Vegas. They had old the old school, like the
little horses that run around, they go around the big track. It's like
you bet quarters on it. Me and my buddy sat there for three hours.
Nobody from the table, but we all just sat there. We were
having a blast. We're hammered out of our mind, yelling at the little
plastic horse to run. Oh god, my grandparents used to have that little
horse race that you could bet on. Right, it was like this old
fashioned like thing you played at the bar. Do you remember those, Dad,
I don't remember. I remember the bowling They should have them though.
So oh you're shooting, remember, yeah, right in the mouth. That
would be perfect. All right. We will close it out from finger Lakes
Gaming and Racetrack a half hour away from showtime. I'm seeing some people coming
in this. This is going to be tonight. I'm getting ready. I'm
gonna go change. You're gonna put on a whole new outpha Doug getting fired
up. Yeah, that's it, getting stir up. Yanks got their asses
kicked here, so come getting a good mood. Yeah, come getting a
good mood. If the the Yanks got their asses kick, don't forget the
dice game on the deck and finger Lakes Gaming and Racetrack right here in beautiful
Farmington, right Farmington, and you can come down anytime. It is got
tons of slot machines. Maybe you get lucky in more than one way.
For Greg Owens, who's headlining our show tonight. For Doug Phelps for Kevin,
who upset it all up, make it all happen, and kept us
all calm. I'm Bill Moran. We'll see you Monday.