WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.439 --> 00:00:07.679 Welcome to Second Listen Saturday on the Parenting Roundabout podcast, where we share some 2 00:00:07.719 --> 00:00:12.119 fun moments from a past episode for your weekend listening pleasure. Look for new 3 00:00:12.160 --> 00:00:18.519 episodes every Monday through Friday. All those big and small things we do that 4 00:00:18.559 --> 00:00:24.800 make our kids lives easier And guess what, do they even know that they're 5 00:00:24.839 --> 00:00:32.320 happening? Do we get? Thanks? No? So, Nicole, you 6 00:00:32.640 --> 00:00:39.840 this was you had felt like you did a lot to make your daughter's life 7 00:00:39.840 --> 00:00:48.159 easier when she moved into her dormant. Yeah. I mean she has probably 8 00:00:48.399 --> 00:00:52.799 more needs than most in terms of staying organized, because that's a skill that 9 00:00:52.880 --> 00:00:59.039 she has a lot of support with. So I spent a lot of time 10 00:00:59.320 --> 00:01:07.959 online, like researching you know, different storage solutions, UM cubes versus um 11 00:01:07.560 --> 00:01:15.799 you know, underbred storage versus overhead storage versus like all kinds of different you 12 00:01:15.840 --> 00:01:23.079 know, like command hooks and um, I don't know clips. And it's 13 00:01:23.120 --> 00:01:27.599 just been endless And I'm not sure she understands how much ever went into that, 14 00:01:30.280 --> 00:01:34.760 because I was trying to help her create a dorm room that she could 15 00:01:34.760 --> 00:01:42.920 work efficiently in and and kind of stay organized in and and I know that's 16 00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:46.159 not you know, Okay, I took over in that sense, and I 17 00:01:46.159 --> 00:01:49.920 really shouldn't have. But if I had left it to her, you know, 18 00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:57.560 I needed to model what set her up for success. That's set her 19 00:01:57.640 --> 00:02:04.799 up for success. Yeah. When we were up back, he who here, 20 00:02:04.799 --> 00:02:07.680 I'm packing, you know, and I'm pulling out all this stuff. 21 00:02:07.719 --> 00:02:14.800 My husband was like, what the heck? She really? He couldn't believe 22 00:02:14.840 --> 00:02:16.919 it. Did you bring a label maker? Oh gosh, I didn't. 23 00:02:19.000 --> 00:02:23.120 I never even thought about that. Oh, how will she ever know where 24 00:02:23.159 --> 00:02:27.159 things are? Now? I know, just get one print everything, print 25 00:02:27.199 --> 00:02:31.879 all the labels his mail tour in an envelope, and then say you expect 26 00:02:31.879 --> 00:02:37.240 to see the labeled things on social media? Right. Well, I just 27 00:02:37.360 --> 00:02:40.759 kind of thought that might be a little bit like over. She could just 28 00:02:40.879 --> 00:02:49.520 I did get a lot of the seat through Ikea storage. But storage storage 29 00:02:49.560 --> 00:02:53.000 baskets are so set uptive, aren't they. You start looking at them and 30 00:02:53.080 --> 00:02:58.960 you just need all of them everywhere. I know, And they look so 31 00:02:59.080 --> 00:03:06.039 pretty too, too, and they matched her to bay Cover. They're irresistible. 32 00:03:06.599 --> 00:03:09.719 I know. I love the idea of storage and organization. I am 33 00:03:09.759 --> 00:03:15.680 super into buying things for storage or an organization. The actual storing and organizing 34 00:03:15.800 --> 00:03:20.840 is my week point. Yeah, that's right. How about you guys. 35 00:03:20.879 --> 00:03:23.520 What do you guys do for your kids behind the scenes. Well, things 36 00:03:23.680 --> 00:03:32.879 like buy gift cards so that they'll have money for gas and to grab food 37 00:03:34.240 --> 00:03:38.240 or whatever. What a good idea. Yeah, so that they don't need 38 00:03:38.280 --> 00:03:44.919 a credit card. Yeah, I mean they have. They have debit cards 39 00:03:45.000 --> 00:03:51.520 actually for just emergencies, but you know, for fundraising for our figure skating 40 00:03:51.560 --> 00:03:55.759 club. One of the big things is script where you can buy you buy 41 00:03:55.759 --> 00:04:00.039 a gift card for face for face value, and then you get money back 42 00:04:00.120 --> 00:04:05.000 to your club. Right, can you like go online and find out where 43 00:04:05.000 --> 00:04:10.919 that gift card has been spent and trace their movements that way? No, 44 00:04:11.319 --> 00:04:15.599 okay, that like prepaid music cards. So I was just wondering about gift 45 00:04:15.639 --> 00:04:18.040 card. Well, this is like I buy it for you know, the 46 00:04:18.160 --> 00:04:23.680 gas come the gas station that we use or whatever. But you can't tell 47 00:04:23.759 --> 00:04:28.199 like which of the many quick trips. That is a weakness we've been to. 48 00:04:29.199 --> 00:04:34.199 But yeah, so I do that. I do things like, um, 49 00:04:34.279 --> 00:04:40.759 you know, just putting things in place, like again organization storage, 50 00:04:40.879 --> 00:04:46.319 like putting things where they will be seen or where they will be found when 51 00:04:46.319 --> 00:04:51.000 they're needed. Um that kind has it set out and laid out for them 52 00:04:51.160 --> 00:05:00.839 night. Um just I don't know. I feel like there's so many things 53 00:05:00.879 --> 00:05:06.399 that I do with probably without even thinking that's right. That this has all 54 00:05:06.439 --> 00:05:12.360 been reminding me about when my son started college. He had at that time 55 00:05:12.360 --> 00:05:15.240 a cell phone, but it was one of the It was like a flip 56 00:05:15.240 --> 00:05:17.439 phone, And I had this idea that I was going to enter all his 57 00:05:17.560 --> 00:05:21.319 classes in there and set an alarm so that he would know all by himself 58 00:05:21.360 --> 00:05:24.759 when it was time to get up and go to class. Because I was 59 00:05:25.240 --> 00:05:28.519 I would drive him there and I would stay all day at the community college 60 00:05:28.519 --> 00:05:30.720 and then drive him home and we would be hanging out in the cafeteria. 61 00:05:30.759 --> 00:05:32.439 But I thought, you know what, he should have his own alarm. 62 00:05:32.439 --> 00:05:36.319 I shouldn't have to be telling him. So I programmed everything in that stupid 63 00:05:36.360 --> 00:05:39.639 flip phone with that. You know, you have to hit the number a 64 00:05:39.680 --> 00:05:43.040 certain amount of times to get a letter. That is the reason my son 65 00:05:43.120 --> 00:05:46.319 got a got an iPhone. It's like one semester of that and I'm I 66 00:05:46.399 --> 00:05:50.399 forget that because it wasn't to make his life easier, it was to make 67 00:05:50.519 --> 00:05:55.720 my life easier. This is ridiculous. Yeah, but I used to, 68 00:05:56.759 --> 00:06:00.519 you know, in terms of you know, he never appreciated that particularly. 69 00:06:00.560 --> 00:06:01.759 I don't know how much you even paid any attention to it, but it 70 00:06:01.800 --> 00:06:06.439 was important to me. And I would, you know, all through school, 71 00:06:06.439 --> 00:06:10.279 but even in college, I would, you know, put the names 72 00:06:10.279 --> 00:06:13.040 of his classes on his folders. I would buy his folders. I would 73 00:06:13.079 --> 00:06:15.399 buy his notebooks. I would put the names of his classes on them. 74 00:06:15.399 --> 00:06:18.360 I would put his name. I would get everything all completely, you know, 75 00:06:18.480 --> 00:06:21.920 put together, no thank you. You know, they would soon be 76 00:06:23.240 --> 00:06:26.920 he would still forget them or not know which was which. I was so 77 00:06:27.000 --> 00:06:30.360 careful. I would put labels on things. I would you know, everything 78 00:06:30.399 --> 00:06:35.800 every textbook was, you know, put in his backpack on the right day. 79 00:06:36.720 --> 00:06:40.399 You know. I did all of that stuff. I don't know if 80 00:06:40.399 --> 00:06:44.759 he could have done it himself, but he certainly never had to. It's 81 00:06:45.279 --> 00:06:46.920 let me do that for you, honey. You just focus on learning things, 82 00:06:46.959 --> 00:06:53.759 and I will completely facilitate every other thing. I will select your classes 83 00:06:53.800 --> 00:06:57.279 on the computer, I will buy your textbooks. I will do all of 84 00:06:57.279 --> 00:07:03.040 this. And you know, yeah, I was. I was the administrative 85 00:07:03.079 --> 00:07:09.480 assistant throughout his college years. This was my job, and and honestly, 86 00:07:09.519 --> 00:07:13.399 you know, all through school pretty much, but the putting the things in 87 00:07:13.439 --> 00:07:16.439 the backpack the night before was always a thing that I did. Yeah, 88 00:07:16.519 --> 00:07:20.399 So I just would have checklists. I would used to eat checklists, you 89 00:07:20.439 --> 00:07:25.959 know, and lay them out on the table and put her vitamins beside it. 90 00:07:28.920 --> 00:07:31.639 Oh my gosh, my son was pretty good. I still have to 91 00:07:31.680 --> 00:07:38.920 send him reminders that, Yeah, yeah, she was very She had a 92 00:07:38.920 --> 00:07:46.240 lot of support. So well, I mean that's that's a legit thing for 93 00:07:46.319 --> 00:07:48.720 moms to do. I think my you know, since my kids will have 94 00:07:48.800 --> 00:07:51.800 disabilities, I probably take it a little too far, you know. I 95 00:07:51.839 --> 00:07:55.839 just want to take all of that stuff off their plate because it's frustrating. 96 00:07:56.279 --> 00:07:59.600 And my daughter, as she's gotten older, has taken over more and more 97 00:07:59.639 --> 00:08:03.560 of that and I really appreciate that, and I really think that's great and 98 00:08:03.639 --> 00:08:05.600 support her doing it and try not to nitpick that she's not doing anything. 99 00:08:05.639 --> 00:08:11.000 I would do it, even though it's hard. Um, but my son 100 00:08:11.160 --> 00:08:15.879 is like, oh fine, cool, I'm just through my life. You 101 00:08:15.920 --> 00:08:20.040 take care of everything, will you? And uh, you know, I'm 102 00:08:20.079 --> 00:08:24.360 kind of okay with that. Hot so you're giving me a purpose to live. 103 00:08:24.680 --> 00:08:28.519 Yeah, thank you. But I recently, I mean his room was 104 00:08:28.560 --> 00:08:33.799 sort of like something out of hoarders. So we recently did a cleanup and 105 00:08:33.799 --> 00:08:35.679 he got rid of a bunch of old stuff and I bought because this is 106 00:08:35.720 --> 00:08:41.000 what you do in these circumstances, lots and lots of storage bins. Right, 107 00:08:41.320 --> 00:08:43.759 it's an opportunity to buy storage bins. Yeah, I know. We'll 108 00:08:43.799 --> 00:08:48.559 put storage bins, honey, and then you'll still have it and you can 109 00:08:48.600 --> 00:08:52.120 see it through the clear plastic of the storage bin, but it'll be up 110 00:08:52.120 --> 00:08:56.919 off the floor. And he's like been extremely slow to take up the you 111 00:08:56.960 --> 00:09:01.519 know, the challenge of filling said bin. I got him a whole bunch 112 00:09:01.559 --> 00:09:03.240 of small ones because he has like these drawers and drawers full of keys. 113 00:09:03.279 --> 00:09:07.720 He collects keys. And I thought, I know, we'll get little storage 114 00:09:07.720 --> 00:09:09.559 bins and you can put some keys in each storage bin and you can sort 115 00:09:09.600 --> 00:09:13.120 them and then you can see them and then you can play with them. 116 00:09:13.159 --> 00:09:15.519 It'll be great. And he said, oh yeah, sure, they're empty. 117 00:09:15.840 --> 00:09:18.840 So and the drawers still full of keys. So it's like, well, 118 00:09:18.840 --> 00:09:20.080 it's at least out of sight. The stuff that was on the floor 119 00:09:20.200 --> 00:09:28.919 is I in bins or gone you know I have to accept partial success, 120 00:09:28.080 --> 00:09:31.720 right, Yeah. But every time I walk in his room and see those 121 00:09:31.720 --> 00:09:35.519 empty bins, I want to fill them up so much. And I got 122 00:09:35.559 --> 00:09:37.919 little I got little carabiners that he could hang individual keys on, and I 123 00:09:37.919 --> 00:09:43.519 put them all over his bookshelves and they're empty mostly. And you know, 124 00:09:43.639 --> 00:09:48.639 if I get a storage item and do not fill it, it's because I'm 125 00:09:48.679 --> 00:09:50.799 busy and I have stuff to do, and you know, priorities. When 126 00:09:50.919 --> 00:09:54.759 I buy things for him and he doesn't use them, what's the matter right 127 00:09:56.279 --> 00:10:00.759 now? You can't possibly have anything more important than fil these up for me. 128 00:10:01.919 --> 00:10:09.159 And the family pathology gets passed down from generation to generation. You know, 129 00:10:09.159 --> 00:10:11.600 he bothers me when I don't feel stuff up. I still don't feel 130 00:10:11.600 --> 00:10:13.000 it up, but it bothers me. Right now, it's not gonna bother 131 00:10:13.200 --> 00:10:15.320 This is the essential difference.