Okay, hello everybody, Welcome to Laura Caine after Dark. How are you
guys. I'm Laura Caine, looking fetching. My co host is Eric Rimmer.
Hello, We're so big time. We have a producer. His name
is Brian. We're so big time. We have a third co host tonight.
His name is Leo. We do Hi Leo, So, Leo,
Welcome, Welcome, Thanks for having me. Been a fan of the podcast.
He lives in Indiana, and he was in San Diego for seventeen years
in Oceanside, moved to Indiana and has followed us while in Indiana nic the
whole time. And he always comments on all of our stuff and he's always
super sweet. And he's the one that says that we look twenty six,
and we said we're going to give him money. We probably have to pay
him tonight. And that meeting you two in person, you look you are
twenty six, both of you. Oh God, thank you. Okay,
we have so many questions. Okay, So Leo is going to be our
third co host tonight. We have a lot of things to discuss. In
fact, we're going to get to know a little bit more about Leo because
he's a diamond one of these and we'll explain what that is. And I've
decided it's time, guys, it is time to create a dating profile for
me and I'm going to need your help. So we're going to create it
tonight. It's going to be so good. I have the dudes and the
don'ts and uh what the photos I should post and the photos I shouldn't post.
It's like I did some research shots. Oh my god. Please first
before all of that and your double D news. Yes, we have a
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Just took a sip of my bulba. Sorry about that. I had
a couple of balls in my mouth anyway. Boom babboom. All right,
so let's get some music while I introduce Leo Giordano. You said it right,
Thank you, you're Taliano. Yes, I don't know the person.
Oh you haven't done one of those twenty three and me things. No,
I'm scared to do it. What are you scared of finding at faults?
I watched too much forensic files. I just cat Well, he is a
gold star, Laura Kane after Dark fan. We'll give him that for sure.
Yes he is. He's also a former ocean side resident, like I
said, seventeen years then moved to Indiana. He's studying marketing right now.
It's nice. He is a diamond debhead. Oh do you know what that
is? I do because I love her too. You would have known what
that is if Leo hadn't been here. You first, Leo, can you
please tell all of our listeners and watchers what a diamond debhead is. A
Diamond debhead is a fan club member of the Debbie Gibson Oka and Debbie Gibson
fans are called Debheads, and they formed a fan club group called Diamond Deapheads
and it's a fun, inclusive group of a bunch of people who just love
Debbie and her music. And I've met some of the coolest friends from the
Diamond Deadhead community and it's just a blast just sharing the love for her music
and just who she is as a person. How many people would you guess
are members of the deb heead Club? I mean, is it thousands,
is it hundreds? Is it hundreds of thousands? It's enough amazing people that
put her album at number two on the Amazon Dance Pop Charts on Saturday,
So it's awesome. So I don't know how many there are, but we
are a mighty bunch who will do anything for Debbie Gibson. So she is
so lovely. I've met her, and she's lovely. She's the nicest person
she and her energy is just amazing. Yeah, what got you started loving
fangirling for Debbie? Gibson. I discovered her music when I was sixteen,
and I just it was her Electric Youth album, and I was just so
captivated that such a young person could write and produce these catchy, fun songs.
And I just fell in love with her in that album and the perfume
at the time before it became a small fortune on eBay, so I was
able to score tons of bottles of Electric Youth perfume for like twenty dollars,
you know, back in nineteen ninety nine, and then now it's just a
small fortune. And is it's the perfumes don't last that long, do they?
Or don't they turn into like chemicals or something after after a certain while,
they will, But if you're just a bottle in a dark which I'm
sure based not in the sunlight belt, yeah, like I keep them like
in storage. But I was filming a real right before I left for vacation,
and I accidentally knocked my bottle off the counter and it broke and it
took forever to get the smell out. And let me just say that perfume
does go bad after thirty five years. You don't want to bake it.
And I'm like, I'm never gonna be able to afford to replace this bottle.
And how many times have you met Debbie Gibson? I want to say
four? Okay, so you obviously go to things that she's at, her
concerts, her meet and greets or whatever. Yes, do you think you
have a her I'm not saying this in a bad way, but I'm just
wondering kind of like, how do you think you've ever freaked her out because
you're such a huge fan or do you think she doesn't care about that kind
of thing, like being freaked out like that? The really cool thing about
like our community and her fan base is that we are very respectful. We're
respectful of her space. We know, like whens a good time to you
know, just just the etiquette. I don't think, I mean, I
hope I don't, but I like to think that I'm just respectful of her
time and courteous and and she respects that. And she just does everything,
you know, every anything for her fans and supporters. So do you have
a phone number? No, do you ever email? I have the fanclub
e mail, which you know, if I ever need to get a hold
of her, I just you know, shoot her team a message. And
again that's part of you know, just respecting her space. Is that I
you know, that's really cool. That is cool, probably why she's so
receptive to you and to all of her fans like that. Yeah, you're
also a member of another online community on Facebook, right, isn't it something
like regarding the eighties or something. Is this the same community or is this
a different community you're part of. It's it's not on Facebook. I deleted
Facebook years ago, but it's just the online community on Instagram. I follow
a lot of eighties pages. Which is who is on my shirt? It's
a Violet Sky. She's glitter a Wave eighties on Instagram and she's a I
believe she's twenty years old and she dresses and lives like it's nineteen eighty nine.
And I'm like, that is my kind of person. So so I
support and follow so many eighties accounts and they support me, and you know,
with the Debbie Gibson you know community, I'm just living my best life
right now. So you dress eighties all the time. I don't like she
did, like Glitter Wave of Violet Sky does a lot, but I do
it when I can, Like some days, I'll you know, I'll just
wear something really flashy and fun like this, and I wear clothes from the
eighties and nineties, and I just tried to put a modern spin on it.
That's cool. What did Debbie Gibson say when she saw this on your
forearm? It says Debbie Gibson in pretty big letters. That's a commitment right
there. She she loved it. And I believe at the time because I
got this done many years ago. I sent her a photo that was back
when I would write her her fan club, and she wrote she signed a
CD. It said thank you for the thanks for the ink. I love
it. So honored and in Vegas when I met her and Joey McIntyre again,
I was starstruck, kind of like I am now. She we were
in we went to the meet and greet booth and she grabbed my arm and
she said, Joey, look he's got my tattoo. And he's like,
well, you're a dead head. And it was just so much fun.
Okay, So what it cost zero five hundred, fifteen hundred to get Laura
Kane after dark tattooed on your body somewhere or more than that, I don't
Well, I'm planning on getting a tattooed tomorrow walland Ocean Side. I guess
we'll just have to wait and see what happened. Would that'd be amazing.
I'd be like so excited and happy. It would be very I know,
I know. Okay, So that's Leo. I love that you're here.
We love to you. Guys that listen and watching are loyal. We love
doing the show for you. And you know what, if you feel like
it, you can just tell us. Why do you like listening and watching
Laura Kane after Dark? Leo, I'm just curious. I love it because
again, I followed you, Laura Kane, back in the Jeff and jar
days. I would listen to the Jeff and Jaars program religiously. I would
laugh so hard sometimes I thought I was going to crash my car. And
I met you at the Mannequin blow up. Manny the Mannequin I remember,
do you remember blowing that up? All my You were there, No,
I was not. He yeah, So I went and I said, oh
my gosh, all I want to do is meet Laura Kane. I wanted
to meet Laura Kane. And somewhere in the depths of like I've got to
find it. Maybe Facebook has it. I have our picture. Oh my
god, I would love to see you. I dressed up in like a
crazy Mark Jacob's like suit is at the time I worked. I think I
remember that ovayuely. It was like a tan like plaid suit and I was
like, I gotta meet Laura Cana and I've just followed you ever. Please
say it was nice. Please say it was nice. You were nice and
lovely and you haven't aged a day. Oh my god. Okay, Yah,
You're welcome to come anytime you're back in San Diego. Come back next
week, come back next episode. All right, this is very important to
you guys. Before I get to the double D, which we will end
the show the double D Yes, I have decided it's time. Remember Natalie
Reverend Natalie psychic medium. She's the psychic of the show. She said that
this year, the Year of the Dragon, is a good year of love
for love for the following Chinese symbols rats, dragon and monkey and pig.
I think I'm a monkey and so this could be my year of love.
Well, I'm not just going to meet anybody because I don't go to bars.
Where am I going to meet somebody. I don't go to the grocery
store because I hate it. So I hate grocery shopping. Oh my god,
I hate it so much. Uh you're looking at it. It's called
door dash, it's called roommates, it's called getting stuff on the way home
from work. I just nope, I just I hate it. I don't
know. I wish I did. I wish I had. I walk into
a kitchen and I feel completely illiterate because I don't really it's never been my
forte. I don't like to cook. It doesn't bring me pleasure. And
I just I really wish it wasn't that way. Even drinks beige food.
I know my beige anyway, Okay, enough about that. But I was
reading up because I want to take this seriously. Okay, Well, and
I have to say, not only do we have special guest Leo here for
this, we have another guest we do Oh Jesus, I think I know
this is going. I called my friend who's a dating and relationship specialist.
You got a hole of her? I did, yes, Doctor Vajean.
Okay, and she's coming in. Well what, okay do you want me
to start talking about I'll talk to you. She should be here any minute
at all. I'll run up and answers. Okay, you just so you
go when you need to go and get her. In the meantime, I
did some research because I really want to do this right. Last time I've
been on dating apps, I didn't write a bio because I thought, I'm
not going to write a bio. I'm just going to put my pictures and
write like a few sentences from the form the prompts. I'm not going to
put too much effort into it. I was trying to be too cool,
you know. So this time I actually want to do it right. So
I was reading into it what you should do and what you shouldn't do on
your dating app bio. So here's the dude. Oh okay, make the
description brief of what I'm looking for. Put that right up front. What
am I looking for? What would my friends say about me? How do
I spend my leisure time? Five things I can't leave live without? The
last book I saw, I read, the last TV show I saw,
the last movie I saw. Maybe put a movie quote in there, a
little tiny bit of humor, but make it mostly serious and keep it positive.
That's what they say. And keep it as short as possible, but
try to get all that fun stuff in to catch them, to like hook
them. I think if you're asking you in yournet how to make your hinge
profile more desirable, you might be going in the wrong direction. Well,
I'm kind of glad that I did because of the list of don'ts, which
is stuff that I would normally write. So okay. So also, it
should be a balance of authentic and amusing interested in dating, but don't sound
desperate. Oh that's gonna be a tough one. It should give a window
into my personality, but kind of keep an air of mystery as well.
It's like a lot right, act cool but not intimidating. The more truthful
I am in a kind and positive way, the more likely men will be
attracted to my profile. So just stay positive, focus on what I like,
my interest, my hobbies, my passions, my values. Okay,
you know I've never seen Eric and doctor Regie in the same room. I
know, doctor Vaghime. Oh wow, thank you so much for joining us.
You're welcome, dear. Well, we really needed an This is Leo,
by the way, I just I want to create a dating profile,
so okay, that's what I said about it. You're going to create dating
profile lovely. Do you have any advice? Yes, don't do it,
but I'm gonna do it. Right. This is what you're not supposed to
do, according to what I read. Okay, and this is thing.
These are things I've seen cowless times on guys bios and it turns it does
turn me off. No dick chutt, well, no, you can't put
those on They'll they'll kick you off. Okay, on Grinder you can put
a dick pic on Grinder? No, I think can you. I don't
think you can put a naked dick pic on any appsite. Have you been
on Grinder, Laura, No, I haven't. That's not for me.
I don't think right, No, Like what what do street people use?
The Tinder? It's still Tinder. That's the one with the little Tinder.
I don't know, but I know Tinder is the one if you just want
to like have a hook up that night. That's kind of like that.
I don't know if that's that quick, but like Bumble and Hinge is what
I'm thinking about. That's like those are true dating websites and e Harmony is
way too old, too much for me. It's old because grinder, you
can have somebody at your house in ten minutes. I don't want that.
I don't think. I don't think I have that quite. We gotta numbers,
doctor Virginie. I want to see if you agree with these, and
do you know not include these in your bios? You go ahead and the
following phrases or words. I love adventure, that's not true. I'm spontaneous,
which means they're not. I'm a bit shy, a little bit of
an introvert. They're the first ones to show you a dick. I'm curvy,
which means big bone. I'm good wife material. Who would write that?
I don't think that's awful. That doesn't wouldn't turn you off. If
you're a single guy looking to go out on a date, Yeah, well
I would want to know if I was. Yeah, my first question is
do you have kids already? Well? Uh, we're not. We're not
there yet. Okay, penis size mentions don't don't you know? Come on?
Looking for my partner in crime. I have read that so many times
in bios. I'm like cringey, it's so cringey. Yeah, no,
partner in crime? Looking for my partner for my forever partner in crime.
I'm spiritual. You would put that too. No, I'm world traveler and
a foodie. I know those are well, neither of those are true Mexican
food. I'm open mind. If I put I'm open minded that that like
that sense like a right. I think that's probably something I shouldn't put.
They say, don't put the two words. Just ask, like, if
you have any questions, just ask. That's too passive for a good job
interview. I know. This whole thing is I love to laugh God,
which means you're kind of obnoxious and you might have a really obnoxious laugh.
Bad grammar, bad spelling, emojis, no emojis, a list of qualifications
you us meet. You must be six feet tall, dark hair, green
eyes, or I'm not considering you. I don't know. Don't be too
specific like that. These correct don't mention your ex No in your bio.
I'm just saying, how would that come up? People say that in their
bio? Yeah, now here are the folk? Okay? Now, photos
you guys, have you all been on dating websites? Have you seen dating
web have you no? Well, as a doctor or whatever, you are
a therapist, an advisor. You've never been on a dating app site?
No, no, you look at me. I have no problem getting Madden.
Have you back in my twenties? Like, I, what was back
there? Well? What was what was that? Years ago? Four years
I went twenty. Yeah, it was grinder, Oh still grinder, it
was still it was still grinder back then. And then there was a horrible
one. I think it's called Adam for Adam, and it was just nasty.
Oh gosh, oh Jesus Christ. And then well, well I met
my husband on the app called Hornet. Oh, and it's horrible, horrible,
horn horn it. And I wasn't looking for love at that time,
and I don't think he was either. That's when it happens. And when
he messaged me, I was drunk in my apartment watching Spanish telenovelas and I
saw his his photo popped up and I'm like, who is this hot man
messaging me? And I said, oh, he lives in Palm Springs.
That's too far, But I got to keep this conversation going, and next
thing I know, we like we went on a date and he he was
the one, and we've been together. This will be nine years whaw.
So he moved to Indiana with you? Or do you live? Is it
a long distance thing? I moved. I moved in with him in Palm
Springs and then we moved to Colorado and then now we're on our Indiana adventure.
And I think he's just the most amazing person. So if I could
find true love through these dating apps, I think you can too. Well,
yeah, because it sure, it sure opens up a whole lot of
opportunities. Because if you think about it, if you didn't have a dating
app, where could you meet people at a bar, at at school?
Maybe if you're still in school, at work? You know, I needed
Doctor of Virginia. I need Doctor of virgin when I was in there's dating
what matchmakers? I would pay to have somebody match you? Lord? But
look now I'm speaking to you guys. Guys, do not post a picture
with your sunglasses on. We can't see what your face looks like. We
want to see your eyes, yes, the eyes. Please please pick one
photo where you're at least smiling because we need to see teeth. Yes,
I got it. Yes, we want to make sure that you have all
of them. And what are the and if you don't there's a sponsor right
back here who can help you. That's that's yes. And then the gym
selfie. But you know what, I have to give it to guys because
guys don't really take a whole lot of pictures necessarily as many as women do,
so you don't have a lot to choose from. So there are a
lot of guys that post like selfies of them sitting on like a weight bench
with the camera like like just working out. So many of those I've seen,
and it's kind of like, I think it's okay for chicks to do
that. Well, what about a bathroom selfie? I've seen plenty of those.
Okay, all right, Now, here are some prompts that I should
use to start a conversation, and I want you guys to this podcast.
So this is after they read your bio and they say, oh, god,
Laurie, I need to message her right Well, no, they read
my bio. They read the like and they go, oh, this girl
sounds cute. Oh she looks like somebody I would want to date. Let's
see what how she answers this question. There's like a couple of little questions
and you answer. They're called prompts. And so they're like conversation starters apparently,
So please answer these for me, because I don't know what to say.
Okay, this year, I really want to get a date. That's
why I'm on this app that's actually does that sound desperate? Oh my god?
We'll put that on the don't list? Should it be? Because my
tendency is to go funny? But it says don't be too funny? Don't
I get that? It is adequate? I think attempted? True, it's
true, but is it too bland? What? Well? You don't want
to say get laid because you don't want to put it all out there.
You don't want to put your legs over your head before it's time. If
you like, ten matches in five minutes. I really want to go to
Vietnam? Can I put that? Wow? No, why isn't that interesting?
Wait? What was the this year? I really want to I'm going
to be a traffic at that date. It just seems but it's they'll ask
me, why do you want to go to Vietnam? Why are you going?
I've been there, it's amazing, blah blah blah, conversation starting.
Why don't you Why don't you say I want to travel with my partner in
crime. I'm never going to say it, I recently discovered that I have
a third nipple. Anything like, what did I recently discover that would be
clever and would get I'm stronger than I thought? Is that cringey? Yes?
Yeah, I don't want to be too serious. Okay, maybe these
aren't prompts that are good to like get like a witty. Maybe this year
you discovered that you want to travel more, you want to get out life's
too short, that life's too short, that you hate being alone. No,
I don't though for the purpose of me. The dating apps you do
it said not to use negative language, and yeah, but that's that's an
incentive for men tore Alright, how about this one. I'm the social engineer
of this bitch. I'm looking for that and not love and not a date
and not a man. I want like, what's kind of witty? I
want to be witty, fun and frivolity, promiscuity. A shower thought that
I recently had was I need to shave my legs more. Yeah, yes,
I ever shaved my legs in like a week. Jesus, Oh my,
I don't have that much hair. I I don't do that anymore either,
because it's way too painful and razors enough that'll start a conversation. Okay,
my typical Sunday couch and Netflix and chill. That might be that's true,
Yes, it might be the best policy. Again, Yeah, be
honest. Don't be too honest though, I know, like the best way
to ask me out is by saying hello, sending a dick pic so I
can send it to Eric, so you can make a friend. Where is
Eric? By the way, where do you go? I don't know.
Doctor Regin came in and probably the bathroom. I know. I bet he's
in the bathroom, no doubt, no doubt. Are you going to bring
her? Or are you just here to say hi? Do you have any
like words of advice where you that I should sit? Because you can't fit
four of us on the cap I might need like Eric, Eric knows me
like really well, I'll ask him. Why don't you go grab Eric?
He'll run in here and then come right back after you do that. Okay,
let me go get him, are you yeah, I'll go. I
think he's eating in the kitchen. Okay. The best way to ask me
out is by I'm gonna try and make this difficult. Let's go. What
does everybody says, let's go grab a cup of coffee? Se no,
like no, nope, done off, swipe left, boring? I was
eating? What do you need? What is the best way to ask me
out? Uh? Like creatively? You want to go out? Yeah,
don't set the bar too high for asking you out? So what what are
we on? What app? Are we on? We're on any app that
any app any day? Are we on the one that you're on them?
Where you start a conversation with the guy? Why are you talking so low?
And why why are you he's been talking low all night? Like the
first opening the podcast, You're like, this is my co host? He's
like, hello, have you been smoking cigarettes late? What's up with the
low voice? He was talking very straight tonight. What okay? You know?
Me like, what would I enjoy? What would make me like?
Oh okay, I totally want to go up with this guy? He asked
me out by doing this being funny? Yeah, I guess so, all
right? Funny My best travel story? Oh my my Tijuana's strip club tour.
Oh that that's good. Okay, okay, okay, okay, can
I finish my food. Yeah, we want a doctor of vagina virgene back.
Yes, tell her also that to give us some like good bits of
dating advice. Okay, I'll tell her. Okay, Okay. One thing
I'll never do again this hook up on the first date. No, don't
say that. No, I don't say that, because that's not totally out
of the question. Hook up. What do you mean by hook up?
Like hook up in my In my world, hookup means to kiss. What.
No, hookup doesn't mean the full shed? No, it does not.
In mine. In the gay world, it does. Yeah, I
don't think there's any other definition for hookup besides sex. When I say,
uh, I hooked up on the first date, what do you assume that
I did full bald, deep penetration. We made a connection, We just
kissed. That's that's my That's definitely okay. I know, Okay, good.
Ye have so much to teach you. I don't think you're the only
person that thinks that I've heard that before. You should not go out with
me. If you have standards, If my rash hasn't cleared up, leo,
if you smoke, Oh that's one leo. Oh, here's the thing.
Seventeen years ago. When I stopped drinking, I also stop smoking,
and I still like the smell of cigarette smoke. Isn't that horrific and awful?
But it's true, it's weird. No, I wouldn't mind. Really,
Yeah, I know it's sick. It's sick. I don't want to
smoke again. I don't have that urge, but I still like the smoke.
Well, you want to the inside of their mouth. That's why you
loved Oh why Oh, it's just nothing but smoke in one area they have
like a god. Okay, something that's non negotiable for me is cheating.
You're right, But should I go? Should I go that deep? That
quick? Yeah? Laid down, laid down the wall. That's what me
When me and my husband when he was we were just dating at the time.
When we first started dating. One of the first things we said we
said, and if you cheat on me, you are out. Like he
said it to me. I said it to him because we had dealt with
so many cheaters in our past. Zero tolerance, Zero tolerance. Lay it
out like then and there. If you want to have a honey on the
side, don't be in a relationship. I don't I don't know if I
put that on your app, though, I would say it's just a little
off putting. I agree, that's more like a first edate thing. Yeah,
I don't know if you need to announce that on your app. Drugs
well, okay, I'll think about that one, all right, more of
a quality don't want to see in someone besides like entitlement. Okay, I
bet you can't, wife, I bet you can't dot dot dot. Oh,
I know, tie cherry stem and not just going to say that is
that a trick? Or is that real? Do people? Can people really
truly do that? Because you know how gullible I am? Or is this
the magic trick? It's real? You can do that? Oh? Yes?
Do you know if your friend Eric can do it? I don't know,
because that's talent and that impresses me. Can you do it? No?
God? No, have you seen it done? Not in real life.
I've seen it on the internet. It's pretty I've seen cool. Yeah,
it's pretty crazy. I wish I could do that whistle, and I
wish I could tie a cherry stem with my tongue because the guys would be
like, what, Yeah, man can tie a cherry stem with the exactly
your your clipress will be very happy. We're talking about my pleasures. My
simple pleasures are door dash might, thank you, yes, lately, Yes,
a lot lately? Yes, ross No, don't don't put that.
I can put like d fiance. No. I realized the day the only
exercise that my legs get besides walking up and down halls is when I go
to the bathroom in a public restroom because I hover over the seat. I
never sit on the seat, even if there's a seat cover, and my
thighs burn. I'm like, this is the only exercise I'm kidding from my
thighs is hovering over a toilet seats. So sad, so sad. All
right, this is important and think about this. Be honest. The key
to my heart is food, but that's not true. Mm hmmm, I'm
not that much of a foody per se. What's the key to my heart?
Or laughter? Yeah? I like that? Is that too cheesy?
Is that cringey? What about compliments? Because I always say, oh,
Laurie, you look twenty six, and it's even though it's true, your
face lights up. So I think the key to your heart is just honest
compliments. Is that? I like that, But does that sound stack up?
Honesty? Honesty, honesty. Okay, okay, we got it all
right, there's only a few more. One thing I'd like to know about
you is what do I want to know about my potential date? That he's
not married, That you're really truly single? Yes, yeah, and that
there's no rap sheet, no STDs maybe oh yeah. My most controversial opinion
is you don't have any Yes. I do about a lot of things.
Name one, Oh, I have one. Strawberries are gross. That's pretty
controversial. But oh it's highly contentary slightly and kind of light and a little
bit humorous or not. I don't think it can be controversial because it's too
light. No one goes that and goes, oh my goodness. Well,
I'm not going to say, like something, what about is the food group?
But is a part of a food food? Not my food group?
I love to one more. Uh, let's see, I'm weirdly attracted to
big big man. I'm not supposed to say anything about it's pretty normal,
large large things. Large things. You will get the wheelers coming in for
you, really really big things, because I know actually it'll suddenly filter out
the men who know that that does open to so many possibilities. Oh my
god. Okay, but it's humorous and that's what you want. I think
it's good. Yeah, but then again, do I seem promiscuous that way?
Not necessarily? Okay, now let's just do this real quick before we
get to the double D. What is my opening line of my bio?
I have plenty of pictures. I know what to post as far as that
goes. What is my opening line on my bio? What will? What
would hook you? I was on the radio. My opinions are open,
but not my legs. That would not That would be a swipe left.
If that's a I used to be famous? That no negativity. Okay,
that's not negative to me. It's negative to me what I used to be.
But you are famous from Grace see you well, how I know?
See this is how I'm treated. I could be a mother. Thank you,
Leo. What about you, doctor Vigeanna? You starstruck now you're pretty
amazing. You look like someone's super famous. You're like a cross between Yoko
Ono and like Bruce Chendler, the lady from The Incredible. I will opening,
I will not start. I will not continue until I get an opening
sentence boom go what hey boys, it's me again. My boobs are bigger
than my personality. I want you guys to be serious and not I may
look fake, but I'm one hundred percent real. But that is a lie.
What is it that the elvirus said in that movie? She says,
I want to be remembered for being more than a great set of boobs.
I'm also a great pair of legs. Um No, I don't want to
get like sexual yet. Thanks for stopping by. No, hey, hey,
brainstorm business. I really don't want to have to write this bio,
but I'm gonna because I really want to meet you. Oh god, this
bio is something that I really I'm struggling with. But guess what here it
goes? Would you be interested in that? I would swipe. If I
read that, I would do all right, let's do your dog. I
would ask to have you banned from I've been banned from too many things lately,
so let's please. No, let's not go. We're not using that
word go, doctor Regeen. Thank you so much for being in here for
this segment. I just have one word of advice for your letter. Can
oh good? Please? What just don't spread it out too quickly. You
want to save the cherry for a man that you like, that appreciates you,
So don't go throwing that vagina out. I don't plan on the first
date. Don't hop on any little pogo stick that shakes your way these days,
this era twenty twenty four. How many dates in is it appropriate?
Four? Four dates? And then the legs are open, then we're open
for business, or you know, just do when you're ready. Three dates?
What if that's two dates, then do it. I don't recommend it,
but then that's when you're ready. Just not on the first day.
Not the first date though, No, not the first I'll probably end up
doing it on the first day, I know, but like, wait,
what does that mean? No? Can I get into things like really?
I really get into things like hey, that that's your bio. I get
into things like your pants. Now, let's see this all sounds to you
suggestive. You know what this is fruitless? Is why don't you just say,
as your tagline, let's do it. No, that's not what I
wanted to just put bend me over something. I'll just you guys think about
it. Well, will you please go? Thank you? Doctor? Regien.
We bring here boys. I'm like a seven eleven open twenty for seven
oh day and nine. You're first date, type of open leg type of
woman. No, that's your tagline. Oh, talking about yourself. Eric
just ribed seven to eleven with seven did I? Oh you mean doctor Regene,
mister Vagina over there? Just yes, doctor Regiene. Thank you for
coming by. Oh yeah, anytime a kid and then Eric. If Eric
would come back in, that would be great. See it as a segment
called the Double Sure he's done eating by now, okay, trying to bring
me some food from the kitchen. Tell him to bring me some food from
the ki What would you like? Producer Brian all right, I go up
on the spot during I'll go get him. Okay, go get him now.
Yes, now to meet It was nice to meet you too. Thank
you for stopping by. Doctor. The funny thing is, you know how
many different wigs I've seen him in over the years. I don't know the
answer to that. I've never actually seen them in his house. I don't
know where he keeps them or where he gets them. I know he's received
two from me, but that one. Eric, how your food? It
was delicious? It's been right there the entire time. What it's been right
there the entire time? My food, I was looking for it in the
kitchen. Yeah, why we do the double D? Yes, I want
someone to write my opening tagline. We'll be listening. Oh, I'd love
to write it for you. No, I want you to do the double
D. I'm excited to hear what's going on? Yes? Double D is
our daily dirt, our show business, the gossip of the celebrities. What
is up? I was the music? Yes, Oh, it's because I
don't have my headphones on. Jeez, there we go. Goodness, Okay,
all right, I don't even know where to start. Oh my god,
that's gonna be good. Taylor Swift's new album Dropped. Love the new
song love that she did it with postmod I love that song and I love
the video. I'm so happy you're becoming like a full fledged Swiftie. I
really do like her yay, and I love the fact. Did she let
Kim Kardashian have it? Wait? Wait, wait what happened? Yes?
So she has a song on the album and it's called thank You Amy,
and it's th h A and and then the k is capitalized and then the
U is small, then the A, the I, and the M are
capitalized ee, so it spells Kim. So it's all about the Kanye.
And then remember Kim Kardashian allegedly had the phone ca conversation and she edited the
parts out that Kanye didn't want anybody to hear. So it was all about
using Taylor Swift in one of his songs and she said no, but he
did it anyway, okay. And so the allegedly Kim had the phone conversation
edited to make it look like Kanye was telling the truth, but he wasn't.
So Kim Kardashian lost one hundred thousand social followers due to the Taylor Swift
feud. Those Swifties are no joke. Heads are no joke. And that's
right. And then you know what's her name, Demi Levado. They're the
Levotics and they'll they'll cut a bitch too. Demi Leva would cut a bitch.
She's insane. Oh man, those Levotics, they will come for you.
I think a little period, and I think she's going through I think
so. Yeah. Ninety day fiance Liz slams weakling big Ed for calling off
the wedding. Why what do you watch ninety Day Fiance? I haven't seen
it. When when you sent me a text about have you seen ninety Day
Fiance? I had it, but I remember seeing the guy who is like
he has like no no. I saw him at the UPS store down the
street one day and I took a selfie with Oh, this is so embarrassing,
and he I went, I'm like, hey, hey, Ed,
I do a podcast Calledora came after dark. He was like running to his
cay. I go, do you think what you get a selfie? And
would you? And he's like okay, and so he took a selfie real
quick, and then he got in his car real fast. I'm sure he's
approached by a lot of people and it's probably really irritating because he's very noticeable.
But why she with him? I'm glad that's over. I don't want
to see him anymore. Please don't do any more spin offs with Big Ed.
He's not a good person. Yeah, okay, star has fallen.
Yes, well, the second weekend of Coachella, Kid Coody broke Cuddy oh
day and now yeah, I don't even know who he is. He broke
his foot jumping off the stage and fines were issued due to Lana del Rey
being late. So now they call her Lana del rel Dell late. So
Coachella issued fines for her being How late was she? I think she was
an hour late? Oh so there are they doing that now? Or is
that just a Coachella that's aella? Oh my gosh. Okay. Nicki Minaj
was almost hit by an object during a concert. She's one of the in
line. She threw it back into the crowd. She was not having it.
I gotta tell you a story. That's that's a thing now as people
hurling stuff. Well, that's why you can't bring a person anymore. That's
not it has to be the size of your hand or clear because they don't
want you obviously. And then like all the things you buy at a concert
or in plastic cups or whatever. Okay, when the pod Rays went to
the nineteen ninety four World Series, I was on the radio and we were
doing this big event at Jack Murphy Stadium back when it was Jack Murphy Stadium,
and I was on a stage and we had prizes to give away and
there was like a huge crowd, so I threw We had with these special
signed baseballs oh no, I don't know if I should admit this has the
time passed, it's nineteen ninety four statue limitations. Yeah, go for it
anyway. I threw it too far up in the air because I wanted to
get to like obviously someone who had their hands up. It hit some check
on the nose and broke her nose. Is your emergency? I got her,
I got the killer. I got a big trouble. I bet oh.
I didn't mean to do that. I felt so bad, But like
that could really hurt somebody. Don't throw a balls or anything at anybody on
stage. There are balls at anybody's I know. I didn't do it on
her face. At least it was before the time where like it could been
filmed. You would have been viral. And my god, this podcast.
Let's redo it. Let's redo it. No, let's not break Eric's Oh
my god, I could say, Laura, throw me my water bottle,
and you could break his nose. Yeah. No, I don't want you
to break my I have a little tiny you have a perfect nose. Don't
do anything for your nose. You can break my nose. My noses already
jacked up. Beyonce claims that her luscious locks are all her own, and
she throws shade on her haters. So are mine? Please, Beyonce,
you care because those go down past her butt? Just admit it. I
mean, what's the What's so I have taping extensions? Like, what's the
problem? What is she gained by lying about it? I know, I
don't know. That's what I'm wondering. If she's telling the truth. The
whole thing is so bizarre. There is the possibility, I guess, but
it just doesn't seem I don't know, very real, realistic to me.
Delta Birke remember her from Designing Women. Yes, she tried crystal meth to
lose weight age. She didn't eat for five days. Wait recently? Wait
she did that seventeen years ago? Maybe? Yes? Was this recently or
is this like a memoir that she's right? Yeah, she just said that
she had I'm thinking that at this age, No, you wouldn't just start
or try crystal meth. No, in your sixties, however old she is
in her sixties? Yeah, no, anyway, Okay, wow, yeah,
that is Yeah. Any Debbie Gibson news that you'd like to throw in
any show busin news that what is the last TV show you watched. I
want to know the last TV show I watched that we should be watching.
It's it's an older show, but it's orange. Is the New Black that
I can watch that show from start to finish? Yeah? Over, I
watched it about once a year. It's one of my favorite shows. Have
you ever seen Wentworth? No? Have you? No? Do I need
to Brian? Have you seen Wentworth? No? Oh my god. It's
about women in prison, but it's more serious and it's filmed I think in
Australia. No, it's a scripted show. But holy cow, it's good.
Watch it. Trust me. It's not funny. There's no real funny
parts in it, like or just A New Black has some kind of funny.
Yeah, this is serious and it's good. Wentworth? All right,
I'm gonna write that down. Anything you watched over the weekend that we need
to see? No, did you do anything fun? I watched the finale
of RuPaul's Drag Race. Oh did the right person win? Yeah? Yeah?
She was great? Yeah? All right, I spoil it in case
anybody hasn't watched it. But it's good. Do you want to get Oh?
Are you watching The New American horror story delicate. No, I don't
even know where I left off, because they think there have been some that
I've missed along the way they get. I think Kim Kardashian begin that kind
of ruins that, because she's the least scary thing I can think of.
Yeah it's one. Yeah it's bizarre, but it's strangely watchable. I'm into
that. What's it called again? Delicate? Okay? And is it?
What does it stream on Hulu? Oh gosh, that's the one I own.
I don't have a table, good grief. I have Netflix. It
says, that's all. That's all I can. Grandpa still has cable.
He gets all the channels, Rampot does watching. Grandpa has all the pay
ones too. Grandpa spends a lot on. Grandpa spends a lot on keep
it going until I move in. Yes, thank you, you're welcome.
I appreciate it. All right, I've got the big, huge couch ready.
Oh I love it all. Oh my god, Okay, coming up
on Thursday's show, I have more acting auditions to show you, Oh my
god. And I literally think I'm going to get one of these gigs,
and I'll tell you which one, and I want you to be honest about
him. Like, if you think I did good, tell me you did
not. Oh, speaking of Brian and acting what I have a very impromptu
it came today? What what present for you? Jesus Christ? Did this
last time? I can't handle stress on my heart. I know you're that
you're that fan now, I know, But he's my identity has been stolen.
What about his anniversary present? I'm not giving that to him? There's
another Yes, this came today for you. Okay, Brian, come up
here or just put the camera to you. All right, here you go.
Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god. Could this
have been touched by him? Look what I'm doing. That's oh geez.
Anyway, I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You don't mean to
defile your Oh my gosh. He put the camera on because I've got to
see this from the beginning. You've seen it obviously. Why are they just
shipping you stuff now? It's just a constant rotation of stuff coming in.
You know what. God only knows what he has said about you. He
may have made up some crazy story. I don't think I'm gonna make a
wish kid or something. Oh my gosh, he's he's he will be here
someday. Do you believe that Leo Keanu will walk in this door somebody?
What? Oh? Wait h and it's signed? It is signed. Is
it signed to you? Yeah? It is to Brian Calories. It's hard
to see you, but it is. This is my third item from Keanu
Reeves. How did you get that fourth? Actually you won't even share the
details. What is that from? That's John Wick? Okay? Are you
going to go back to the same framing people so they can like touch that
one too like they did. Oh my gosh, well this is not I
don't have to get a custom frame for this. I'll just get a regular
frame. I'm gonna have a wall just full of signed Keanu Reeves stuff like
I if if this keeps something, I can make a business selling his Oh
my god, why they love it? Surprise surprise, show the camera.
Okay, I have an idea. Why don't you frame that, put it
with your sweatshirt, wear your sweatshirt, put your other framed uh letter and
lithograph around yourself with it, like take a picture and then I'll send it
to him, like please, we would love to have you come in.
This is even saying no, no, no, no, no, no,
I'm not doing any more. Please. I have never done any but
I'm not. You've done nothing I have. This is already more than I
can possibly imagine. So no, I'm not doing anything. Wait till he
sees his anniversary. Holy shit, dude, we're gonna get him here.
I I love your confidence because if we don't feel I don't know what to
do as it's great, right, it's too Brian. He just gets an
email. He's like, you want something else for your friend, Sure,
we'll send him. Keller's bored. One day, He's like, I'm gonna
send some famil to that one kid from San Diego. I think he's just
the coolest guy in the world and just maybe like he just appreciates the fact
that you're a film student you want to be a director, and he really
like appreciates that, and he's formed like a bond with you and he doesn't
even know you. It's great. He's going to be here someday. Why
God get you know we're gonna work on that. Can work on that together.
Absolutely, you share your secrets with me? Oh my god. All
right, anybody you want to give a shout out to you before we walk
out. I want to give a shout out to Okay, not you,
Leo. I want to give a shout out to my husband. He told
me to have so much fun tonight and I am having a blast. Hi
husband, it's his name is Rex. Rex. And all of my Diamond
Deadhead fan the Diamond Debhead fan base, the fan club. They're just the
coolest people ever. And hello Diamond debhead Heads. Yeah, I'm a Debhead.
I love her. Yeah. And they're just the coolest, just fun,
kindest people. And I just love that community. And to everybody who
came out to my wine tasting yesterday, My friends and family really made it
special. What was that for your birthday? Yeah? It turned forty?
Oh my god? Oh my okay, you think twentythday? Thank you?
I know you look you look like you're twenty. I literally I would have
never guessed you were forty. Oh my god. I'm putting you all in
my will. Okay. Wow, I'm like, I have so many questions,
but I'm not going to ask me They'll probably be inappropriate. I don't
want to offend you. No, say it. This is Laura Kane after
Dark. Is that your real hair? Color. No, okay, but
keep doing it because you look great. No, and and thank you.
In fact, my hair is all great, Like if I didn't color it,
it is gray really white, so I have to color it. Some
guys go great way early I did. I started at twenty six. Oh
wow, Yeah, I've been I've been coloring it for for many years.
Keep doing it. It looks great and you look great. Thank you.
You were great on the show. Thank you. I was really nervous.
It was my first time. But but Laura says that all the time.
But time, that's what we should say. I'm really nervous. It's my
first time. I don't normally do this. You're gonna get predators if you
put that. That is something that everybody. I don't normally do this.
This is the first time. No, that's code for I'm a Oh my
god. We'll figure it out, but I'm gonna need your help anyway.
Yeah, coming up Thursday, more bad acting auditions. Oh I cannot wait
for this. That a dead serious and I really gave them my hall and
then we have more coming up on Thursday. Thank you so much Leo for
being here, and you know our lockout right. Here we go here we
go. I'll say it first, then it's eric'stern, then you do it,
and the show ends. Yes, Okay, I see I never made
it through like the end of the show because you guys are three hours behind.
So in Indiana the show starts at ten and and I'm Grandma's so like,
I'm just like, I gotta sign I'm gran And then I start yawning
in the second episode crazy, and then I go to and then I'm like,
oh god, I'm sleepy, and I never get through the full hour,
even though even though I really really want to. Okay, this will
be a great surprise. Just just repeat this phrase when it's your turn.
Okay, thank you guys, not this part. Thank you guys so much
for watching and for listening, and we love you so much and love your
podcast. Leo, thank you for coming. La. He gets a past
today, why because I have unlimited supply merchandise coming. He's supposed to just
say love your podcast, and we're supposed to walk out, but he always
stretches it out and it drives me insane. I love you, Yeah,
I love you too, love your podcast. Thank you. And before I
say love your podcast, I'm gonna say Laura Kane. You are a beautiful
creature, fragile, delicate, and exquisite, the fairest flower in God's garden.
Love your podcast. Wow, that's my new ring tone. I'm gonna
take that off the podcast. That's way better than I thought. I was
hot, ship but I'm cold diarrhea. Wow, anybody's ever said to me?
Thank you so much, Leo. Wow, Oh my god. I
love you, my sweet babies. Bye. Thank you so much for watching.
Oh my god.