WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.040 --> 00:00:02.799 Hi everyone, and welcome back to the other podcast episode. My name is 2 00:00:02.799 --> 00:00:05.799 Alisha Gogin, the host of the Globe Secrets podcast, where I help you 3 00:00:05.960 --> 00:00:09.640 expand your mind and become more self aware so that you can glow up into 4 00:00:09.640 --> 00:00:13.640 the best version of yourself. I was kind of winded there, to be 5 00:00:13.679 --> 00:00:17.719 honest, when I was doing that. Oh my gosh, Hello, how 6 00:00:17.719 --> 00:00:22.719 are we doing? It is another Monday, and I'm hoping that you guys 7 00:00:22.800 --> 00:00:26.640 liked last week's episode. It's not live yet because I'm filming back to back, 8 00:00:26.679 --> 00:00:30.600 but I hope you guys enjoyed it. And if you did listen or 9 00:00:30.640 --> 00:00:34.479 watch, if you're on YouTube, then you know that this episode was coming. 10 00:00:35.119 --> 00:00:40.359 So this episode is going to be a mix of a few things. 11 00:00:40.920 --> 00:00:48.039 It's going to be about giving you guys advice aka SLASH what I would do, 12 00:00:49.200 --> 00:00:53.560 things I would tell myself, and how I would reframe things SLASH helping 13 00:00:53.600 --> 00:00:59.600 you guys kind of dissolve your limiting beliefs. So on Instagram, which you 14 00:00:59.600 --> 00:01:03.840 should follow me on Instagram, my personal is Alicia Gogin and the podcast one 15 00:01:04.319 --> 00:01:08.599 is just the Globe Secrets Podcast. It'll be linked down below and everything I 16 00:01:08.640 --> 00:01:12.719 post a lot of quotes on the podcast Instagram, so when you get updates 17 00:01:12.760 --> 00:01:17.879 and things like that, but I will ask Q and A's on the podcast 18 00:01:17.959 --> 00:01:21.719 Instagram. Actually though sometimes I'll do it on my main and I think I 19 00:01:21.760 --> 00:01:25.319 did this one on my main Yeah I did. Anyways, it doesn't really 20 00:01:25.319 --> 00:01:27.120 matter. I feel like most of you guys follow me. But I asked 21 00:01:27.120 --> 00:01:33.760 you guys, what is some current negative dialogue that you've been having that you 22 00:01:34.040 --> 00:01:38.439 are really wanting to drop or like let go? And you guys submitted a 23 00:01:38.439 --> 00:01:42.159 lot, so I'm gonna try and do my best to read them out. 24 00:01:42.959 --> 00:01:47.280 And I'm, like I said, I'm just gonna give you guys advice maybe 25 00:01:47.480 --> 00:01:49.680 what I would do or how I would think about it. This that it's 26 00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:53.719 gonna be like a key key type of episode, but it's not like we're 27 00:01:53.719 --> 00:01:57.319 gonna be chatting about I don't know, like makeup products and things like that. 28 00:01:57.400 --> 00:02:00.879 It's gonna be like a serious ki key if you don't know what Kiki 29 00:02:00.040 --> 00:02:05.599 is, just like I don't know, a chatty, gossipy girly session men 30 00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:08.360 kiki as well. Anyways, it's going to be like that because obviously there's 31 00:02:08.360 --> 00:02:12.439 going to be a lot of different questions but I think a lot of these 32 00:02:12.520 --> 00:02:16.560 questions are very I don't know, like a lot of people have them, 33 00:02:16.960 --> 00:02:20.759 and there will be time stamps. Now, before I quickly get into it, 34 00:02:20.800 --> 00:02:27.080 I just want to disclaim, because I'm a content creator, this is 35 00:02:27.159 --> 00:02:29.520 just my advice. You can take it, you can leave it. I 36 00:02:29.599 --> 00:02:34.000 do my best to try and be as open and I don't know, like 37 00:02:34.120 --> 00:02:38.400 optimistic about how I give advice. If I do, I understand that a 38 00:02:38.439 --> 00:02:46.319 lot of you guys are needing advice, and I don't want to demonize that 39 00:02:46.560 --> 00:02:49.520 by being like, ooh, this is just my advice. You should just 40 00:02:49.520 --> 00:02:53.719 trust yourself fully completely, Like I understand that sometimes you need guidance and you 41 00:02:53.800 --> 00:02:55.639 just want to hear from somebody. So I try and, like I don't 42 00:02:55.639 --> 00:03:00.240 know, be responsible when it comes to things like that. But obviously, 43 00:03:00.280 --> 00:03:02.520 like I'm human and I have my own ways of viewing the world, So 44 00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:08.599 I'm also going to give advice kind of like big sister energy. So some 45 00:03:08.719 --> 00:03:13.560 of the things, I don't know, whatever, I guess we'll just see. 46 00:03:13.639 --> 00:03:17.240 So obviously on the podcast, we've been talking a lot about inner conversations, 47 00:03:17.280 --> 00:03:22.240 inner dialogue, self talk, all the same stuff, affirmations, things 48 00:03:22.240 --> 00:03:27.039 that we think and who we identify as and how that really does. It 49 00:03:27.039 --> 00:03:30.199 either dictates our mood, it dictates our manifestations, it dictates our action towards 50 00:03:30.199 --> 00:03:36.800 our goals. However you want to think about it, and I really think 51 00:03:36.840 --> 00:03:39.599 it's one of the most important things that we continue to work on. Okay, 52 00:03:39.639 --> 00:03:43.639 so let's get into the first This is not I guess they're not really 53 00:03:43.719 --> 00:03:47.759 questions. They're just limiting beliefs like inner talk that y'all are having and you 54 00:03:47.800 --> 00:03:53.840 don't really want to be having. So someone said, I'm ruminating on the 55 00:03:53.919 --> 00:03:59.080 past slash regrets over the past choices that I have made. So this person 56 00:03:59.159 --> 00:04:04.960 is just dwelling thinking about mistakes and what I would say to myself, Like 57 00:04:04.960 --> 00:04:09.080 I would actually say this to myself, and I have many times. I 58 00:04:09.120 --> 00:04:12.560 don't ruminate really on the past anymore because the past is the past. But 59 00:04:12.599 --> 00:04:15.680 that's what I tell myself, so that's what I would. I don't know, 60 00:04:15.879 --> 00:04:20.160 tell you the past is the past. Okay, I know you know 61 00:04:20.240 --> 00:04:25.079 that, but like, let's just think about it again. The past is 62 00:04:25.079 --> 00:04:30.480 the past. We cannot change it. We can't change it. So what 63 00:04:30.519 --> 00:04:38.279 we need to stop doing is wasting the present and even the dreamer part of 64 00:04:38.360 --> 00:04:41.879 us. To be able to dream for the future, we need to stop 65 00:04:41.920 --> 00:04:48.560 wasting that, which is what matters on ruminating on something we literally can't change. 66 00:04:49.040 --> 00:04:55.800 Now, something that can be helpful is to look at what you did 67 00:04:56.160 --> 00:04:59.759 in a different light. It's not to suppress it, it's not to deny 68 00:04:59.800 --> 00:05:01.839 it. It's not to pretend it didn't exist or what you did didn't exist. 69 00:05:01.879 --> 00:05:05.120 But you know, if you did something in the past that you don't 70 00:05:05.160 --> 00:05:11.519 really like fully, like, something I will tell myself is, okay, 71 00:05:11.920 --> 00:05:15.639 I acted out of this way. And honestly this is not about blaming also 72 00:05:16.319 --> 00:05:21.000 and not taking accountability. But realistically, when I do things in my past 73 00:05:21.079 --> 00:05:25.000 that are like kind of mistakes, it was because I didn't know better. 74 00:05:25.519 --> 00:05:30.199 I either didn't have critical thinking skills. I you know, I acted out 75 00:05:30.199 --> 00:05:34.360 of impulse. I was probably acting on of some wounded part of me. 76 00:05:35.240 --> 00:05:41.240 Whatever. It's not whatever, but it's just like, forgive yourself for maybe 77 00:05:41.240 --> 00:05:43.279 some of the things that you did in survival mode. Now. I have 78 00:05:43.319 --> 00:05:47.160 an episode on that if you have not watched so link below, But just 79 00:05:47.199 --> 00:05:51.959 reminding yourself the past is in the past. You can't change it, and 80 00:05:54.079 --> 00:05:58.959 something you can probably do know, would be instead of using all your brain 81 00:05:59.079 --> 00:06:05.480 power to think about things that are so not relevant, they're not use your 82 00:06:05.480 --> 00:06:11.920 brain power to think about things that are favorable. So start ruminating about the 83 00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:16.079 damn future. Okay, which is like the wrong wording essentially, because ruminating 84 00:06:16.120 --> 00:06:21.920 is technically like going back and bringing things back. Dream about the future. 85 00:06:23.279 --> 00:06:26.920 Okay, do you have goals? What are you doing? Where's your focus? 86 00:06:26.959 --> 00:06:30.839 Why is your focus always on the past? Okay? This is not 87 00:06:30.920 --> 00:06:32.319 about not thinking about it if you don't want it, But I just don't 88 00:06:32.360 --> 00:06:34.879 think that it's that helpful. So that's all I'm gonna say about that. 89 00:06:35.639 --> 00:06:43.240 I could give you every single opinion and viewpoint of Oh, but you can 90 00:06:43.279 --> 00:06:46.879 feel your feelings and your emotions, and maybe you need to go back to 91 00:06:46.920 --> 00:06:51.360 a certain part of your childhood to maybe like heal this part as to why 92 00:06:51.399 --> 00:06:54.959 you're probably going back like that might be a thing, I don't know. 93 00:06:55.079 --> 00:06:57.120 But you also don't have to do any of that, and you can just 94 00:06:57.120 --> 00:07:00.439 decide to focus on something that makes you feel little bit better. And that's 95 00:07:00.480 --> 00:07:04.680 just the advice I'm gonna give today. In this episode, specifically, next 96 00:07:05.079 --> 00:07:11.199 someone said, this is what she's thinking I am so out of shape, 97 00:07:11.360 --> 00:07:15.519 getting back feels impossible since I hate the gym, but I'm running though, 98 00:07:15.879 --> 00:07:25.800 I honestly would change your affirmation thought when you're saying these things too, instead 99 00:07:25.800 --> 00:07:32.519 of the gym is hard or I hate the gym to something that's obviously a 100 00:07:32.560 --> 00:07:38.199 little bit more motivating, like I'm somebody who's getting back and learning how to 101 00:07:38.480 --> 00:07:42.480 enjoy movement again, or I'm figuring out I'm on this journey of figuring out 102 00:07:42.480 --> 00:07:45.759 what works for me. Because obviously you're saying like you don't like the gym, 103 00:07:45.800 --> 00:07:48.920 but you're trying to run though, But that in itself still like sorry, 104 00:07:48.959 --> 00:07:53.639 not trying, she says, but I'm running though. It almost like 105 00:07:53.720 --> 00:07:57.360 I'm reading it like that and maybe it's not, but to me it gives 106 00:07:57.399 --> 00:07:59.399 the energy of like, oh, I hate the gym, but at least 107 00:07:59.560 --> 00:08:03.040 I'm doing this thing over here, But like, I want you to look 108 00:08:03.040 --> 00:08:05.920 at it more like, Okay, I'm on this journey of figuring it out. 109 00:08:05.959 --> 00:08:07.639 I don't know if I really love running. I'm gonna do it because 110 00:08:07.639 --> 00:08:11.639 I want to move my body, and I know I don't really enjoy the 111 00:08:11.720 --> 00:08:16.199 gym, but I'm gonna continue to move on but also you can just maybe 112 00:08:16.240 --> 00:08:20.639 stop demonizing the gym with words. Also, trust me, I've had to 113 00:08:20.639 --> 00:08:26.720 do that as well. Like the gym is not that hard. It's literally 114 00:08:26.720 --> 00:08:30.279 what we tell ourselves. So what I do for my life days all the 115 00:08:30.360 --> 00:08:33.519 time is I always tell myself, like I know inherently it's gonna be a 116 00:08:33.519 --> 00:08:37.200 little bit harder. I'm gonna have to use my strength. I'm gonna have 117 00:08:37.240 --> 00:08:41.360 to have some sort of energy. It's not about that. But it's like 118 00:08:41.519 --> 00:08:45.559 I don't have to be so dramatic about it, you know, like it's 119 00:08:45.639 --> 00:08:48.559 not that hard. I can do it. I can do it. And 120 00:08:48.600 --> 00:08:52.879 the more you tell yourself you can do it, you'll have that new thought, 121 00:08:52.960 --> 00:08:56.519 that new neural pathway in your brain where yes, the automatic thought when 122 00:08:56.519 --> 00:09:00.480 you think of the gym is okay. It's not like it's not like chillin' 123 00:09:00.519 --> 00:09:03.399 watching Netflix or Summer House. But I can do it. It's not that 124 00:09:03.519 --> 00:09:07.320 deep. It's gonna take not too long. I'm in, I'm out, 125 00:09:07.399 --> 00:09:13.080 and I'm gonna feel amazing. Another thing is when it comes to movement, 126 00:09:13.120 --> 00:09:16.919 though, for sure, like figure out what works for you. You might 127 00:09:16.960 --> 00:09:22.159 not fully enjoy it, but you like some things more than you like others. 128 00:09:22.240 --> 00:09:24.840 I love hot yoga and I love weight training, so that's what I 129 00:09:24.879 --> 00:09:28.799 do. I don't force myself to do all these other things. I do 130 00:09:28.879 --> 00:09:33.759 what I want, so that allows me to be consistent. So you know, 131 00:09:33.080 --> 00:09:37.559 obviously there's gonna be an element of you actually enjoying something, because if 132 00:09:37.600 --> 00:09:41.240 you completely hate it, no matter how you look at it, then obviously 133 00:09:41.320 --> 00:09:45.639 you're not really gonna do it. But there's so many forms of exercise that 134 00:09:45.679 --> 00:09:48.159 you can do. There's so many things, and I think that we are 135 00:09:48.200 --> 00:09:52.080 sometimes limited because we think in order to be fit, in order to be 136 00:09:52.120 --> 00:09:54.440 healthy, in order to have the dream body, we need to be in 137 00:09:54.519 --> 00:09:58.679 the gym, like on a treadmill or something. No, you don't, 138 00:09:58.360 --> 00:10:03.080 now you don't if you follow me on Instagram. I posted on my stories 139 00:10:03.039 --> 00:10:07.799 my steps because I always take hawk grow walks. I just call them Howcrow 140 00:10:07.799 --> 00:10:13.919 walks, and it tracks my steps without me trying. I don't check. 141 00:10:13.960 --> 00:10:16.159 I don't try and hit a goal, nothing like that. But I like 142 00:10:16.200 --> 00:10:20.720 to see sometimes very rarely, but I want to see, and I'm hitting 143 00:10:20.799 --> 00:10:24.720 like minimum ten k steps a day, and that's just because I really enjoy 144 00:10:26.279 --> 00:10:33.039 walking, and that for sure is a big part of why my body is 145 00:10:33.120 --> 00:10:37.840 fit. Yes, my body is also toned, and I have muscle from 146 00:10:37.879 --> 00:10:39.799 going to the gym. But even the gym, I don't even do a 147 00:10:39.840 --> 00:10:45.159 lot anymore. I do damn near two compound movements. I make sure that 148 00:10:45.240 --> 00:10:50.679 I'm following my weight to my reps, which it's like in my mind. 149 00:10:50.759 --> 00:10:52.679 I barely need to look at anything, and I get in and I go. 150 00:10:52.759 --> 00:10:56.120 I don't make it complicated. I don't make it a big thing. 151 00:10:56.240 --> 00:11:00.919 I don't make it long. That's that. And I found for yoga. 152 00:11:01.000 --> 00:11:05.080 I really like Bickram Yoga twenty six poses the same damn poses every single time. 153 00:11:05.480 --> 00:11:07.159 I don't have to think. I know it's gonna be hot, I 154 00:11:07.159 --> 00:11:09.720 know it's gonna be a challenge. Not every single day is going to be 155 00:11:09.759 --> 00:11:13.600 the same when I go, but I know it's expecting. I like it, 156 00:11:13.639 --> 00:11:18.159 and it's just that and that keeps me consistent. So find what works 157 00:11:18.159 --> 00:11:20.200 for you. But definitely changing the wording on some of the things that you're 158 00:11:20.200 --> 00:11:24.679 saying is gonna be really helpful. Someone said one of their internal thoughts is 159 00:11:26.639 --> 00:11:33.399 the fear of failing, just always thinking that, I guess one thing that's 160 00:11:33.440 --> 00:11:39.399 helpful to remind yourself of which is the truth is that as long as you're 161 00:11:39.440 --> 00:11:46.200 trying, you're not failing. And I can guarantee you're probably trying. You're 162 00:11:46.240 --> 00:11:48.879 probably trying in some sense of the way. Maybe it's not up to your 163 00:11:48.919 --> 00:11:52.960 standard what you think because you I'm not saying you actually think this, but 164 00:11:54.399 --> 00:11:58.159 you know, maybe you think you need to be one hundred percent perfect, 165 00:11:58.159 --> 00:12:00.840 You need to know every answer, you have to do it flawless. Is 166 00:12:00.840 --> 00:12:05.440 that or like you're not doing it? But that's not reality, that's an 167 00:12:05.480 --> 00:12:11.919 illusion. So if there's some ounce of you that's trying, whether you're looking 168 00:12:11.000 --> 00:12:16.879 up a podcast or YouTube video or reading a book or having a conversation or 169 00:12:16.879 --> 00:12:20.799 booking that class or trying in any sense, hold on to that and remind 170 00:12:20.840 --> 00:12:28.120 yourself just by you doing that, you are not failing. The only time 171 00:12:28.120 --> 00:12:31.919 you're failing is if you do not try, even for a second. And 172 00:12:31.000 --> 00:12:35.600 even that, I don't really want y'all to be looking at it like that, 173 00:12:35.679 --> 00:12:37.720 because then you know, maybe you haven't been trying, and that's fine, 174 00:12:37.759 --> 00:12:45.120 but it's like whatever, you're not failing. And to me, as 175 00:12:45.200 --> 00:12:52.720 long as you are trying, it's just it counts and it has to count 176 00:12:52.159 --> 00:12:58.080 when you have that type of mindset. I personally respect myself more when I 177 00:12:58.200 --> 00:13:03.080 at least try then to just give up because I don't think that I'm gonna 178 00:13:03.120 --> 00:13:07.200 even do it perfectly or that I'm going to fail. So I think it's 179 00:13:07.240 --> 00:13:13.720 about like revaluing things as well. Now probably you might have like picked that 180 00:13:13.840 --> 00:13:16.799 up somewhere, which we tend to always pick these things up, whether it's 181 00:13:16.879 --> 00:13:22.799 parents or schooling systems and things like that. But you know, when you 182 00:13:22.879 --> 00:13:26.759 start to value other things, then you treat yourself differently. When you start 183 00:13:26.759 --> 00:13:31.720 to treat other people differently, you will treat yourself definitely too, or like 184 00:13:31.080 --> 00:13:35.919 vice versa whatever. But for me, I started, I don't know, 185 00:13:37.000 --> 00:13:41.480 there's just some beauty sometimes in when I see people just trying their best, 186 00:13:41.759 --> 00:13:46.440 trying their best instead of you know, always trying to find the faults and 187 00:13:46.519 --> 00:13:50.720 things because everyone's gonna have a fault. No one's perfect anyways, so drop 188 00:13:50.759 --> 00:13:56.200 it, drop it. But when you get like past that and you understand 189 00:13:56.240 --> 00:14:01.480 whatever, people have faults and flaws and this, that, then you don't 190 00:14:01.480 --> 00:14:03.000 even really look at it like that. But then you start to see like, 191 00:14:03.039 --> 00:14:07.559 oh, it's actually like it's nice when you see someone trying or you 192 00:14:07.600 --> 00:14:11.080 see yourself trying, and I think that you should focus a little bit more 193 00:14:11.120 --> 00:14:16.320 on the times that you do try and affirm that to be a very good 194 00:14:16.320 --> 00:14:22.159 thing, because it is. Next someone said getting accepted into nursing and ultrasound 195 00:14:22.240 --> 00:14:26.320 programs and being afraid that I can't do it. So this kind of, 196 00:14:28.240 --> 00:14:31.840 you know, piggybacks off of the one I just talked about, So I 197 00:14:31.840 --> 00:14:35.000 would kind of give that same advice, but I would just try doing your 198 00:14:35.039 --> 00:14:41.519 best to I can't do it thing turning into I can do it mindset. 199 00:14:41.840 --> 00:14:45.440 So anytime you catch yourself saying I can't do it, I don't know if 200 00:14:45.440 --> 00:14:48.919 I can do it, I can do it, I can do it, 201 00:14:48.559 --> 00:14:52.519 I am going to try to do it, and I'm going to try and 202 00:14:52.519 --> 00:14:56.639 do it because I value trying over not doing a single thing, and I 203 00:14:56.720 --> 00:15:03.519 am powerful and I am great, even if I don't fully know the answer, 204 00:15:03.720 --> 00:15:05.840 or if I do quote unquote fail, which is really not a fail 205 00:15:07.080 --> 00:15:11.240 whatever at least I tried, I'm trying. I can try to do it. 206 00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:15.320 Really, just changing your wording and a lot of these things and looping 207 00:15:15.440 --> 00:15:18.559 that really helps. It's helped me. I feel like, how do you 208 00:15:18.679 --> 00:15:22.320 learn things in your life? You saturate your mind and you think it a 209 00:15:22.360 --> 00:15:26.840 lot, whether you even know it or not. Thinking about how many songs 210 00:15:26.879 --> 00:15:28.879 you know word for word. You didn't have to sit down and look at 211 00:15:28.879 --> 00:15:33.799 the lyrics. You continuously played that song because you're obsessed with it, and 212 00:15:33.879 --> 00:15:41.000 eventually that became a natural thought process. Okay, that is the same thing 213 00:15:41.200 --> 00:15:46.120 as thinking good thoughts or bad thoughts. So be very aware of the things 214 00:15:46.120 --> 00:15:50.679 that you're telling yourself. Someone said, a part of me says that I'm 215 00:15:50.679 --> 00:16:00.399 not actually going to be able to reach my goal. So you can try 216 00:16:00.440 --> 00:16:03.519 to get to the root of this by asking yourself the question of, well, 217 00:16:03.519 --> 00:16:07.360 where did this come from? Where did I first pick up this belief 218 00:16:07.440 --> 00:16:14.919 that I'm not actually going to be able to reach my goals? Did I 219 00:16:15.039 --> 00:16:21.879 fail? Do I have high expectations on myself or other people telling me things? 220 00:16:22.879 --> 00:16:26.519 Have I done something like? What is it I think? Sometimes that's 221 00:16:26.720 --> 00:16:32.320 good information for you to know, because then your logical mind has an easier 222 00:16:32.360 --> 00:16:37.679 time being able to switch to a healthier thought because you have a why as 223 00:16:37.720 --> 00:16:42.000 to why you're no longer thinking that bad thought anymore, or that negative thought. 224 00:16:42.080 --> 00:16:48.519 Or not that unhelpful thought, at least for me, because some people 225 00:16:48.559 --> 00:16:49.480 will say, oh, you don't have to dig up your past and you 226 00:16:49.519 --> 00:16:52.399 don't need to know these things and whatever, like stop living in the story. 227 00:16:52.399 --> 00:16:56.080 And I get that, and you to a certain point, I get 228 00:16:56.080 --> 00:17:00.120 that you kind of have to stop living that story. But for those those 229 00:17:00.159 --> 00:17:04.319 who are very logical, it's really hard for you to take anything as fact 230 00:17:04.519 --> 00:17:11.559 until you see like why so having an explanation for yourself has always helped me, 231 00:17:14.039 --> 00:17:18.400 Like, Okay, I'm telling myself that I can't hit my goals because 232 00:17:18.440 --> 00:17:23.000 somebody told me in the past. Okay, so that's actually not my actual 233 00:17:23.079 --> 00:17:29.519 natural thought pattern. It was somebody else's. It's not my truth. But 234 00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:33.599 sometimes you don't know that. Sometimes you're picking up and you're moving through life 235 00:17:33.599 --> 00:17:37.920 with beliefs that you don't even understand that were never yours. They were never 236 00:17:37.960 --> 00:17:41.559 yours. Somebody told you that it was impressed on you when you're very young. 237 00:17:41.880 --> 00:17:45.319 But you just go through life just subconsciously believing that, Like a lot 238 00:17:45.319 --> 00:17:49.240 of people don't know. So I don't know where you're on in your journey 239 00:17:49.240 --> 00:17:53.160 of that. If you're not, if you haven't really gone done that inner 240 00:17:53.200 --> 00:17:56.599 work, it can be helpful. I talk a lot about that in my 241 00:17:56.640 --> 00:18:03.720 book The Ultimate Globe Guide. It is a guide of really uncovering your inner 242 00:18:03.759 --> 00:18:07.160 critic, understanding why you self sabotage, lots of shadow work prompts. It 243 00:18:07.279 --> 00:18:10.960 is a journal guide as well. In the second half of the book first 244 00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:12.680 half, I give you a lot of my story and how I got out 245 00:18:12.720 --> 00:18:17.160 of my own way, So that can be helpful. But if you know 246 00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:22.720 why, like where this is coming from, and you know that it's bullshit, 247 00:18:22.839 --> 00:18:26.359 sometimes it's just as simple, not that simple, but it is as 248 00:18:26.400 --> 00:18:32.599 simple as reminding yourself your truth every single time you think that or you say 249 00:18:32.640 --> 00:18:36.960 that out loud. So saturation again, Actually I can hit my goals. 250 00:18:37.000 --> 00:18:38.640 Actually there's no other option. And when I mean no other option, I 251 00:18:38.640 --> 00:18:41.119 don't mean like you have to do it perfectly. But it's like, what 252 00:18:41.160 --> 00:18:45.000 are you gonna do instead not hit your goals? No, you're gonna wake 253 00:18:45.079 --> 00:18:48.519 up every day and you're gonna try. In some sense, you think about 254 00:18:48.519 --> 00:18:52.559 your goals all the time, Like you're not just gonna sit and stand still. 255 00:18:52.599 --> 00:18:55.079 You're not gonna do that. We don't do that over here. So 256 00:18:56.160 --> 00:19:02.200 sometimes it's just about looping that someone said they have trouble stopping the nihilist doom 257 00:19:02.480 --> 00:19:07.839 spiral. So I've never really fully experienced nihilism. I'm gonna quickly read it 258 00:19:07.880 --> 00:19:11.039 out. I'm not going to go tune death because I don't know, Like 259 00:19:11.440 --> 00:19:15.559 this is not my expertise, but I kind of do understand this mindset. 260 00:19:15.599 --> 00:19:19.920 That's why I feel like maybe I can give a piece of advice because I've 261 00:19:19.920 --> 00:19:23.240 had an adjacent mindset to this, I think, which I don't even know 262 00:19:23.279 --> 00:19:29.000 what it's called, but anyways, Existential nihilism begins with the notion that the 263 00:19:29.039 --> 00:19:33.839 world is without meaning or purpose. Given this circumstance, existence itself, all 264 00:19:33.880 --> 00:19:40.839 action, suffering, and feeling is ultimately senseless and emptiness. So this reminds 265 00:19:40.880 --> 00:19:45.359 me of the mindset of just like why do I like, what's the point 266 00:19:45.440 --> 00:19:51.400 even trying nothing's gonna work, or coming to the conclusion that everyone is right 267 00:19:51.440 --> 00:19:53.720 and everyone is wrong at the same damn time, or like that's like some 268 00:19:53.759 --> 00:19:57.440 of the things that I think about all the time of like literally, like 269 00:19:57.559 --> 00:20:03.160 the way I think is and believe is like your thoughts create, and like 270 00:20:03.240 --> 00:20:04.640 you create a lot of your life, and like what you think will like 271 00:20:04.680 --> 00:20:08.839 be projected out and like everyone is operating out of their beliefs, and like 272 00:20:08.920 --> 00:20:14.720 why certain things work for some people but don't the others their belief behind believing 273 00:20:14.880 --> 00:20:19.640 that it works place ebos things like that, Like my mind is like that's 274 00:20:19.680 --> 00:20:22.480 how I believe in how I move through the world. Which it's fine for 275 00:20:22.559 --> 00:20:26.200 me. I like it obviously, or I don't know whatever, but it 276 00:20:26.279 --> 00:20:33.519 kind of reminds me of that mindset. And but sometimes I'll get into this 277 00:20:33.680 --> 00:20:37.319 spiral of being like, oh, okay, well, for if my thoughts 278 00:20:37.559 --> 00:20:41.200 create, then how did I create this? Or how did this person create 279 00:20:41.240 --> 00:20:42.839 this thing over here? Then how did this happen over here? If your 280 00:20:42.839 --> 00:20:47.039 thoughts created, I will go into these spirals and I'll try and figure out 281 00:20:47.039 --> 00:20:52.240 the answer and this that, And what I have learned is you will always 282 00:20:52.720 --> 00:20:57.160 always find something that contradicts something else. You will always find a different way 283 00:20:57.200 --> 00:21:00.960 of viewing things. You will always find a root cause of this that, 284 00:21:02.079 --> 00:21:04.200 and the third you will find a new belief system. You will see somebody 285 00:21:04.200 --> 00:21:07.119 do it this way, and then you'll see somebody do it the opposite way, 286 00:21:07.359 --> 00:21:10.960 and they'll get the same results. And then you're like, how did 287 00:21:11.000 --> 00:21:14.359 they da da da da. You will go into the spiral. You will 288 00:21:14.440 --> 00:21:18.440 always find something. And I think it's just as simple sometimes as reminding yourself 289 00:21:18.480 --> 00:21:22.839 that, like, yeah, you will never stop, like it will never 290 00:21:22.240 --> 00:21:26.240 end the same way when you think about the universe, it doesn't have an 291 00:21:26.319 --> 00:21:30.839 ending. You can't even like comprehend the ending of that. It's just like 292 00:21:30.880 --> 00:21:34.240 continuously on. So with all that said, I would rather not spend my 293 00:21:34.559 --> 00:21:41.880 one life on this earth going into the spiral of abyss when I'm not gonna 294 00:21:41.880 --> 00:21:45.359 find the answer and I have to decide what the answer is going to be. 295 00:21:45.519 --> 00:21:48.599 I have to decide to believe in something. And I don't actually mean 296 00:21:48.640 --> 00:21:52.240 like if you're like this nihilist person, you have to believe in something, 297 00:21:52.319 --> 00:21:56.240 but I think even just the sense of deciding that I don't want to always 298 00:21:56.279 --> 00:22:00.400 live life with this lens, so let me pick something that's a little bit 299 00:22:00.440 --> 00:22:03.359 more favorable to me now. I think sometimes it's hard for people to do 300 00:22:03.400 --> 00:22:11.160 this because it's like, so I'm gonna choose being happier, choose this mindset 301 00:22:11.200 --> 00:22:14.799 over here, while people are over here saying that they that you have to 302 00:22:14.839 --> 00:22:18.079 do like this, or people are suffering over here, or I know all 303 00:22:18.079 --> 00:22:22.119 this information over here, how can I possibly live? Da da? And 304 00:22:22.160 --> 00:22:23.559 I think this takes a lot of maturity, and it takes a lot of 305 00:22:23.599 --> 00:22:26.960 wisdom. I guess I don't know. This is what I'm telling myself of 306 00:22:27.039 --> 00:22:36.599 like understanding that there is a reality where you can exist with things being dual, 307 00:22:37.599 --> 00:22:41.720 and understanding that there's both positive and negative in this world and that yes, 308 00:22:41.839 --> 00:22:45.799 there's a lot of suffering, but there is also a lot of happiness. 309 00:22:45.799 --> 00:22:48.480 And it doesn't mean that you are a bad person or a wrong person 310 00:22:48.519 --> 00:22:53.680 because you are not taking in every single emotion, every single belief system, 311 00:22:53.799 --> 00:23:00.599 every single everything at all times. You can't. But sometimes we shame ourselves 312 00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:07.480 or we shame other people for not doing that. And personally, this is 313 00:23:07.640 --> 00:23:12.359 just what I think somebody who is mature understands that there is a lot of 314 00:23:12.440 --> 00:23:19.279 duality and there's a lot of contradictions in everything, and to save you some 315 00:23:19.559 --> 00:23:26.200 peace, choose something and throughout your lifetime that will change and what you believe 316 00:23:26.319 --> 00:23:30.119 maybe or what you stand for. It doesn't mean that you can't stand for 317 00:23:30.240 --> 00:23:34.640 things, but you just can't do it all. And if that sounds whatever 318 00:23:34.720 --> 00:23:38.559 it sounds like to you, then so be it, But I am okay 319 00:23:38.599 --> 00:23:45.000 with moving through life understanding that some people will not understand me. Some people 320 00:23:45.119 --> 00:23:48.839 will not like me, some people will not think like me, and they 321 00:23:48.839 --> 00:23:51.319 can't see it like me, and I have to be okay with that the 322 00:23:51.319 --> 00:23:53.640 same way I have to be okay sometimes with negative emotion on days where I'm 323 00:23:53.680 --> 00:23:56.759 not feeling the best, I have to accept it. But what we do 324 00:23:56.880 --> 00:24:02.440 is we push against it, we resist it. We use our logical brains 325 00:24:02.440 --> 00:24:04.640 to try and think ourselves in or out of something all the time. You 326 00:24:04.680 --> 00:24:11.079 will never you will never win by doing that. So I don't know. 327 00:24:11.160 --> 00:24:15.519 Hopefully that resonated in some sense of the matter. Sometimes you just have to 328 00:24:15.599 --> 00:24:19.680 choose peace, whatever that looks like for you, and not feel so bad 329 00:24:19.720 --> 00:24:23.759 about it. This is not about you being a bad person because you are 330 00:24:23.799 --> 00:24:29.480 choosing peace. When you find you are constantly spiraling, shut your computer if 331 00:24:29.519 --> 00:24:33.640 you need to shut down that conversation and do something for a moment in time 332 00:24:33.680 --> 00:24:37.440 and you'll feel better. Okay, that was a rant. Next one, 333 00:24:37.880 --> 00:24:42.839 someone thinks I am not as beautiful and worthy as other women and there will 334 00:24:42.880 --> 00:24:48.680 always be better. So there's two things that come to mind when I think 335 00:24:48.720 --> 00:24:56.559 about this. Essentially limiting belief because we know that it is. So there's 336 00:24:56.880 --> 00:25:02.640 only competition if you believe that there's compon petition. So you could just like 337 00:25:02.759 --> 00:25:06.400 wipe it all out by saying there's no competition, like you could move through 338 00:25:06.400 --> 00:25:11.160 life genuinely reminding yourself there's no competition. It's done, there's none, there's 339 00:25:11.200 --> 00:25:17.759 none. But also something that's helped. And some people might think that this 340 00:25:17.880 --> 00:25:19.400 is like not really the right way to think about it, but this is 341 00:25:19.440 --> 00:25:23.319 I'm telling you, because this is I'm being real and this did help me. 342 00:25:26.160 --> 00:25:32.039 I would tell myself sometimes when I would have this thought that you know, 343 00:25:32.319 --> 00:25:34.720 I don't even need because obviously you want to think you through your most 344 00:25:34.720 --> 00:25:37.920 beautiful girl, But if you can't, then thinking about it like this can 345 00:25:37.960 --> 00:25:42.039 help. You don't need to be the prettiest girl in the room. You 346 00:25:42.079 --> 00:25:48.720 really don't. And for me, I think about this in terms of men 347 00:25:48.920 --> 00:25:52.720 or other people. We tend to think about it like this, or just 348 00:25:52.920 --> 00:25:59.000 being liked in general. The people who care about a girl being the prettiest 349 00:25:59.000 --> 00:26:00.920 girl in the room, or people who care about that stuff so much, 350 00:26:02.440 --> 00:26:07.319 those are probably not even people that I want to have around in my life 351 00:26:08.319 --> 00:26:15.480 or be dating. So why am I concerned and thinking these this way when 352 00:26:17.160 --> 00:26:22.279 that's not even the type of environment or lifestyle or people I even want to 353 00:26:22.319 --> 00:26:26.920 be moving around who care about that? So and it really does kind of 354 00:26:26.920 --> 00:26:30.079 reflect back to yourself though, because I remember when I would think a lot 355 00:26:30.119 --> 00:26:33.599 about this and I would care a lot about it. Is because I cared 356 00:26:33.599 --> 00:26:37.759 about it, So like you have to drop the caring about it so much, 357 00:26:38.319 --> 00:26:42.000 and you will find you won't be thinking like, oh, I'm not 358 00:26:42.039 --> 00:26:45.839 as beautiful or worthy like people like care about this kind of stuff. But 359 00:26:45.960 --> 00:26:52.599 obviously, how you think that you're beautiful and worthy is telling yourself that you 360 00:26:52.160 --> 00:26:57.920 are. And I know it can be hard because you're comparing yourself to other 361 00:26:57.920 --> 00:27:03.759 people, But you if this honestly comes back to the last thing I just 362 00:27:03.799 --> 00:27:07.640 said, If you try and do that, you'll be comparing yourself into the 363 00:27:07.759 --> 00:27:11.839 day you die. You will, I promise you that you will. Do 364 00:27:11.880 --> 00:27:15.400 you know how many people who are out there? Do you know how many 365 00:27:15.400 --> 00:27:19.200 beautiful women that are out there? Okay, do you know how many successful 366 00:27:19.200 --> 00:27:23.920 people? You are willing to compare yourself all day to these people? Why 367 00:27:25.680 --> 00:27:30.480 it doesn't matter? And this is how I look at it and how I 368 00:27:30.519 --> 00:27:33.559 look at it in terms of love. Also, the way that I like 369 00:27:33.640 --> 00:27:37.799 to be loved is I want to be loved, And I'll use example of 370 00:27:37.839 --> 00:27:42.599 a man. I want my man to love me for me and know even 371 00:27:42.680 --> 00:27:48.960 if there are women out there who are supermodels and beautiful and stunning, it 372 00:27:49.039 --> 00:27:53.799 doesn't matter to him. It doesn't matter because it's me. I'm unique. 373 00:27:53.839 --> 00:27:57.720 He likes exactly the way that I look. He loves my personality, my 374 00:27:57.759 --> 00:28:00.960 mindset, the way that I love, the way that I show up for 375 00:28:00.079 --> 00:28:04.400 him, for family, for whatever that, So it doesn't even matter. 376 00:28:06.119 --> 00:28:10.680 That's the type of person I want to date and marry, but also that's 377 00:28:10.680 --> 00:28:12.440 the type of people that I want to be moving around as well, like 378 00:28:12.599 --> 00:28:15.920 friends. Wise, it doesn't matter, It shouldn't matter, None of it 379 00:28:17.000 --> 00:28:22.519 matters. So dropping the focus on that it really comes down to you first, 380 00:28:23.000 --> 00:28:26.599 and it really just comes back to deciding that, Yep, you're good 381 00:28:26.680 --> 00:28:32.279 enough. There's always going to be somebody who's prettier in your eyes anyways, 382 00:28:32.359 --> 00:28:34.039 And sometimes you can get to a point where you don't even think that, 383 00:28:34.079 --> 00:28:37.319 Like I really am at a point where I don't think about it like that, 384 00:28:37.400 --> 00:28:40.640 but that mindset did help me at one point, So that's why I'm 385 00:28:40.640 --> 00:28:44.680 saying it. Someone else struggles with always feeling like I don't get enough done 386 00:28:44.799 --> 00:28:48.119 throughout the day. This kind of brings it back to the last two things 387 00:28:48.160 --> 00:28:53.000 I've been saying. You have to remind yourself that there will always be something 388 00:28:53.160 --> 00:29:00.279 to get done. It's like, sometimes are logical minds like they're smart, 389 00:29:00.319 --> 00:29:03.880 but sometimes they're not that smart. There is always going to be another thing 390 00:29:03.960 --> 00:29:07.000 to do, another place to go, another person to talk to, another 391 00:29:07.039 --> 00:29:11.079 thing to feel, another thing to do. Okay, so you got to 392 00:29:11.160 --> 00:29:17.279 kind of remind yourself about that when you find you're in this mindset of trying 393 00:29:17.279 --> 00:29:23.519 to get everything done. Energy, It's fine, Relax, it's And this 394 00:29:23.559 --> 00:29:30.720 is another thing also is if you keep thinking that, then that will just 395 00:29:30.880 --> 00:29:33.599 continue to be your reality. You will live out nothing is ever getting done 396 00:29:33.599 --> 00:29:37.640 when quite frankly, there's a lot of things that you're probably getting done. 397 00:29:37.680 --> 00:29:41.000 So focusing on the things that you're getting done, there's always going to be 398 00:29:41.039 --> 00:29:45.400 something else. And life is really what you think. So if you think 399 00:29:45.440 --> 00:29:48.480 that there's not gonna be enough time, or you're not getting things done, 400 00:29:48.559 --> 00:29:52.960 or there's never whatever, yeah, that will be your reality until you change 401 00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:56.200 that. Someone said, I keep putting myself down. I can't get out 402 00:29:56.240 --> 00:30:03.400 of bed constantly sleeping too tired to okay, so two things, and it 403 00:30:03.440 --> 00:30:11.279 seems like the energy of this message was very like defeated energy. So one, 404 00:30:11.680 --> 00:30:15.240 I would maybe suggest you just practicing what it would be like to put 405 00:30:15.279 --> 00:30:22.759 yourself up instead of put yourself down. And I understand why you're putting yourself 406 00:30:22.799 --> 00:30:26.480 down because you feel like crap things, you're not really doing much whatever it 407 00:30:26.519 --> 00:30:30.000 is, I get it, but you've probably been putting yourself down for so 408 00:30:30.160 --> 00:30:36.759 long. Let's just try to have one piece of inner dialogue that you could 409 00:30:36.799 --> 00:30:40.319 maybe be using in the next week where you're just gonna focus on one thing 410 00:30:40.359 --> 00:30:41.960 that's gonna put you up, like a little tiny bit, like you know 411 00:30:42.039 --> 00:30:45.200 what, Yeah, everything's kind of a mess right now, but at least 412 00:30:45.240 --> 00:30:49.400 I got up and I had a glass of water, or I made my 413 00:30:49.480 --> 00:30:52.119 bed, and if you haven't, then maybe start making your bed like something 414 00:30:52.119 --> 00:30:57.640 small like that, or I listened to a podcast episode something. Just try 415 00:30:59.000 --> 00:31:03.079 and see how you feel by doing just one tiny thing, because right now 416 00:31:03.160 --> 00:31:07.079 what you're doing is probably focusing on literally every single waking moment of your life 417 00:31:07.160 --> 00:31:11.799 right now of I'm not doing this, I'm falling off, I can't do 418 00:31:11.880 --> 00:31:17.400 it this at And the third now, another thing is why is it that 419 00:31:18.000 --> 00:31:22.359 you can't get up? There's probably a reason, and I would suggest maybe 420 00:31:22.839 --> 00:31:26.079 trying to think about that reason instead of just being like, oh, well, 421 00:31:26.640 --> 00:31:30.720 I'm in this cycle. I don't know why, but I'm in it, 422 00:31:30.960 --> 00:31:36.000 and I'm feeling like crap about the fact that I'm in it. And 423 00:31:36.279 --> 00:31:40.240 this is like no shade, but it's like, let's have some introspection. 424 00:31:40.319 --> 00:31:45.200 What's going on, what happened before you went down into this spiral, what 425 00:31:45.240 --> 00:31:48.640 are you thinking, what are you feeling, what's going on in your life? 426 00:31:48.680 --> 00:31:53.319 Like they're there's a reason. So I think that's all I'm gonna say 427 00:31:53.359 --> 00:31:57.720 about that, because I don't know exactly what you're doing, but hopefully that 428 00:31:57.759 --> 00:32:02.920 helps next thing feel like giving up on college and my job. But those 429 00:32:02.960 --> 00:32:07.359 are things that I fought for for such a long time. So I don't 430 00:32:07.359 --> 00:32:13.319 really have too much content or content context about this. So I'll give you 431 00:32:13.359 --> 00:32:16.680 my best advice with this when it comes to you saying that you fought a 432 00:32:16.720 --> 00:32:22.079 long time for this. Sometimes things change, sometimes you change sometimes your interests 433 00:32:22.119 --> 00:32:29.839 change. I don't know if this is like your it's like you fought for 434 00:32:29.880 --> 00:32:34.599 it because you liked it, but you no longer like it now energy or 435 00:32:34.640 --> 00:32:37.960 you just fought for something that you literally like never like I don't really know, 436 00:32:37.920 --> 00:32:43.160 but having a mindset of like, it's totally okay if you don't like 437 00:32:43.240 --> 00:32:45.359 this thing anymore. I know it can be harder said than done, because 438 00:32:45.359 --> 00:32:52.160 you're saying, you know, I went to college and or going to college 439 00:32:52.440 --> 00:32:57.119 and you have your job. It's not as easy just dropping it. That's 440 00:32:57.119 --> 00:33:00.480 fine. But in that process, then maybe spend some time time thinking about 441 00:33:00.480 --> 00:33:04.279 what you do want. What do you want? You know, what you 442 00:33:04.319 --> 00:33:08.200 don't want feels like crap? Well what feels better? Think and dream a 443 00:33:08.240 --> 00:33:12.799 little bit, have some goals, have a vision for yourself, and toy 444 00:33:12.880 --> 00:33:15.480 with that idea. You don't have to change a single thing right now. 445 00:33:16.039 --> 00:33:20.119 Sometimes all you need is like a second to just be like, Okay, 446 00:33:20.400 --> 00:33:23.119 let me entertain the thought of changing something in my life. I don't have 447 00:33:23.200 --> 00:33:27.119 to leave my job, I don't have to leave college right now. But 448 00:33:27.559 --> 00:33:30.119 let me dream for a second and think, well, what do I want 449 00:33:30.160 --> 00:33:34.599 to do? You can do that, but sometimes it just like we tell 450 00:33:34.640 --> 00:33:36.920 ourselves like we're in these shackles. It's like, oh my god, I'm 451 00:33:36.920 --> 00:33:38.799 stuck doing something that I can't sorry that I don't want to do it. 452 00:33:39.200 --> 00:33:44.000 Okay, well you can change it. It doesn't mean you change it right 453 00:33:44.039 --> 00:33:47.359 the second, but like think about what you do want and you're allowed to 454 00:33:47.480 --> 00:33:53.359 change next. Someone just said avoided an attachment and that they push people away. 455 00:33:54.920 --> 00:33:59.480 So okay, this is just kind of the energy in the mindset that 456 00:33:59.519 --> 00:34:01.759 I'm in right now in my life and kind of the advice that I've been 457 00:34:01.759 --> 00:34:07.480 giving you guys. But sometimes we really need to just stop identifying with the 458 00:34:07.519 --> 00:34:10.840 thing that we're telling ourselves that we are or the thing like the label of 459 00:34:10.880 --> 00:34:16.280 things sometimes like if you are struggling, I don't know, because I just 460 00:34:16.280 --> 00:34:21.920 feel like I hear a lot and I've talked about this too, but I 461 00:34:21.960 --> 00:34:27.880 hear the same wording a lot from people, and it's very clear when they're 462 00:34:27.920 --> 00:34:34.679 identifying as somebody who is an avoidant, is anxious? Is this that? 463 00:34:34.760 --> 00:34:39.199 And you can tell that it does. It's like a direct correlation to why 464 00:34:39.239 --> 00:34:45.159 they're not getting things in their life, whether it's like better relationships or different 465 00:34:45.199 --> 00:34:49.000 actions like habits in their life. It's like very apparent. I'm not saying 466 00:34:49.000 --> 00:34:54.559 that this person does. But so that's my first thing is, let's maybe 467 00:34:55.039 --> 00:35:00.920 let's just try to not identify as somebody who's avoidant or anxious attached. We 468 00:35:00.960 --> 00:35:05.440 can acknowledge that that's maybe, you know, one of our attachment styles and 469 00:35:05.480 --> 00:35:07.159 we've gone through that and like whatever, but we don't like that doesn't need 470 00:35:07.199 --> 00:35:12.000 to be our entire story, the same way in your child healing needs to 471 00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:15.400 be your entire story, and shadow work and like healing trauma and all the 472 00:35:15.480 --> 00:35:19.639 kind of stuff. Like for me, I very much so love talking about 473 00:35:19.679 --> 00:35:23.239 that kind of stuff, but I do not go through my day identifying as 474 00:35:23.239 --> 00:35:28.639 this person who's just like constantly healing and constantly whatever. And that's coming from 475 00:35:28.679 --> 00:35:32.159 somebody who's written a book, who does this for a living, who talks 476 00:35:32.199 --> 00:35:37.800 about it all the time. I'm still very very aware that I have to 477 00:35:37.840 --> 00:35:45.199 be careful with the thoughts and identity that I am living in because I know 478 00:35:45.280 --> 00:35:50.800 where that will lead me. So I would toy with the idea of calling 479 00:35:50.840 --> 00:35:53.599 yourself something else, if anything, when it comes to you in relation to 480 00:35:54.679 --> 00:35:59.800 I'm sure some sort of relational issue where that's friends or like romantic right now, 481 00:36:00.360 --> 00:36:02.719 instead of saying, oh, I'm just this avoidant and I struggle relationship 482 00:36:02.800 --> 00:36:07.840 D da da, you could tell yourself that you're learning how to break the 483 00:36:07.880 --> 00:36:15.159 pattern. You are on the journey of it. You maybe were anxious or 484 00:36:15.199 --> 00:36:21.000 an avoidant, but you're no longer that anymore, or you're no longer identifying 485 00:36:21.039 --> 00:36:24.360 as that, or like, you know, you can really acknowledge that you 486 00:36:24.400 --> 00:36:30.719 maybe were once this person, but you're you're deciding that you're no longer identifying 487 00:36:30.760 --> 00:36:35.519 as that and bringing in a new energy and a new vibe into your relationships. 488 00:36:35.559 --> 00:36:40.719 Maybe or I don't know, I think the same thing as when women 489 00:36:42.199 --> 00:36:45.079 and meat included. I used to say this mineral trash, mineral trash, 490 00:36:45.119 --> 00:36:49.960 blah blah blah. How about we just stop saying that, Like, how 491 00:36:49.960 --> 00:36:53.360 about we just stop saying it, even if you think that it's not like 492 00:36:53.599 --> 00:36:58.840 doing a lot or maybe I don't know, but we just don't really need 493 00:36:58.880 --> 00:37:02.880 to say that. It's just I don't see how that's helpful in any single 494 00:37:02.880 --> 00:37:08.639 way. Honestly, we can acknowledge that maybe there were men in our lives 495 00:37:08.679 --> 00:37:13.800 that didn't treat us well, or you know we're fuck boys or this that, 496 00:37:13.920 --> 00:37:20.079 But I I am telling you that verbiage never got me in the state 497 00:37:20.320 --> 00:37:24.400 of dating that I'm in now in my life. And I'm not saying that 498 00:37:24.480 --> 00:37:30.239 mindset was the thing that you know, created the relationships that I had, 499 00:37:30.239 --> 00:37:34.039 But it definitely did. Because I always had the story in the back of 500 00:37:34.039 --> 00:37:38.480 my mind about mineral trash or fuck boys and guys don't come in and situationships 501 00:37:38.519 --> 00:37:45.880 like all. That verbiage was really reflected in my dating life for sure because 502 00:37:45.960 --> 00:37:50.480 I was looking through that lens. There was no other option for me to 503 00:37:50.559 --> 00:37:53.599 only date these guys that had some of these traits. Because I was looking 504 00:37:53.800 --> 00:38:00.039 through that lens. Take off the lens, look through a lens of men 505 00:38:00.280 --> 00:38:06.280 know how to commit, they want to commit. Men are not all trash. 506 00:38:06.400 --> 00:38:09.480 There are men who want the same things as you, which is family 507 00:38:09.639 --> 00:38:14.719 and love, real love. They want to work on things the same way 508 00:38:14.800 --> 00:38:17.960 you probably do. There's men out there that do not want to walk away 509 00:38:17.960 --> 00:38:21.840 from things. There's men out there that do not want to avoid things. 510 00:38:21.840 --> 00:38:24.679 They want to show up. There's men out there like that. And even 511 00:38:24.679 --> 00:38:29.440 if you haven't seen that, keep telling yourself that because I promise you. 512 00:38:29.440 --> 00:38:34.159 You will attract them in why because you're looking through that lens. I'm telling 513 00:38:34.199 --> 00:38:37.960 you the lens that you're currently looking through. Listen. Okay, that's all 514 00:38:37.960 --> 00:38:40.639 I'm gonna say, or I'm going to go on another rent. So anyways, 515 00:38:40.880 --> 00:38:45.079 that is my advice on that. Okay. Someone said that they think 516 00:38:45.119 --> 00:38:52.519 really critically about themselves and feel like they're unworthy the week before their period. 517 00:38:52.039 --> 00:38:55.679 So I'll just keep this very simple. You know, it's your period. 518 00:38:57.079 --> 00:39:00.440 Honestly, sometimes it's as simple as that. Just remind yourself when you're thinking 519 00:39:00.480 --> 00:39:02.159 like that, it's just your period. It's not your truth. Okay, 520 00:39:02.559 --> 00:39:08.519 But if you really struggle with symptoms like very heavy mood swings, I would 521 00:39:08.559 --> 00:39:14.920 suggest maybe looking into your cycle and your hormones more to see how you can 522 00:39:14.920 --> 00:39:19.719 support yourself in the way of learning about cycle sinking or maybe getting your hormones 523 00:39:19.760 --> 00:39:22.159 tested. I don't know your situation. I don't know if you're on birth 524 00:39:22.199 --> 00:39:25.639 control this that, but if it's to the point where it's really really bad, 525 00:39:25.920 --> 00:39:30.079 I think it doesn't hurt to support yourself on a physical level as well, 526 00:39:31.039 --> 00:39:37.199 along with using your mental capacity. You know, obviously it's important for 527 00:39:37.280 --> 00:39:38.679 us to think really good thoughts, and I think that our thoughts really do 528 00:39:38.800 --> 00:39:43.199 create a lot of things. And even when it comes to my hand pain, 529 00:39:43.280 --> 00:39:45.480 I talk about it in my book My Chronic Illness. Everything. A 530 00:39:45.599 --> 00:39:50.440 lot of that was psychosomatic, but it was also just I was stressed all 531 00:39:50.480 --> 00:39:52.599 the time. I was worrying about everything. It's a mind body connection. 532 00:39:52.920 --> 00:40:00.199 Yes, So on one hand, thinking good thoughts really can heal so much 533 00:40:00.199 --> 00:40:04.280 more than we even think. And it's not pseudoscience, it's not bullshit. 534 00:40:04.440 --> 00:40:08.119 It is literally facts. It is real, okay, and it's only really 535 00:40:08.159 --> 00:40:12.599 as real as you believe. But also when you experience it, you will 536 00:40:12.599 --> 00:40:15.559 know it's real. But that doesn't mean you have to completely ignore what is 537 00:40:15.639 --> 00:40:22.440 going on. If you feel like it's too hard to ignore, or maybe 538 00:40:22.440 --> 00:40:23.159 it has something to do with your health, like you never want to, 539 00:40:23.719 --> 00:40:27.400 you know, completely ignore your health or things like that. I just would 540 00:40:27.440 --> 00:40:30.840 never do that. There's no point. You can support yourself the best you 541 00:40:30.880 --> 00:40:36.199 can, so focusing on supporting your cycle could be helpful because once your hormones 542 00:40:36.239 --> 00:40:39.400 are decently balanced, you don't have like the worst symptoms in the world. 543 00:40:39.599 --> 00:40:45.239 I have a very consistent cycle, which I'll link some cycles sinking videos and 544 00:40:45.239 --> 00:40:46.760 episodes down below if you want. There's a lot of them on my main 545 00:40:46.840 --> 00:40:52.159 channel. I have a very consistent cycle, but it wasn't always like that. 546 00:40:52.239 --> 00:40:55.119 And also I was on birth control, and you know, it took 547 00:40:55.119 --> 00:40:58.960 me a while to get where I'm at, is what I'm saying. But 548 00:40:59.159 --> 00:41:01.559 like even where I'm at right now, sometimes I do like have mood swings 549 00:41:01.559 --> 00:41:04.679 in this that, but they're not that deep. But even when I have 550 00:41:04.760 --> 00:41:07.559 them, it's very much so like no problem, like you're just on your 551 00:41:07.559 --> 00:41:10.320 perier, like you're gonna be fine. But it did lessen a lot more 552 00:41:10.599 --> 00:41:15.559 the more I got healthy. I'm not saying you're not healthy, but mentally, 553 00:41:15.639 --> 00:41:21.320 physically, hormonally, everything taking care of myself, more moving my body, 554 00:41:21.400 --> 00:41:23.599 simple things. It doesn't have to be this big thing, doesn't have 555 00:41:23.599 --> 00:41:28.440 to be these big supplements. A lot changed for me. That one said. 556 00:41:29.079 --> 00:41:32.159 I'm struggling with believing my inner child is there, but I cannot reach 557 00:41:32.480 --> 00:41:37.400 it and it doesn't trust me anymore. So listen, I don't really understand 558 00:41:37.440 --> 00:41:39.599 exactly what this question was. And mind you, you guys don't have a 559 00:41:39.599 --> 00:41:45.239 lot of ability to like send in a full question. So I'm not saying 560 00:41:45.239 --> 00:41:50.679 that this person doesn't know, like does not articulate or whatever. But I 561 00:41:51.159 --> 00:41:54.400 just wanted to bring this in because I caught something she was saying, like 562 00:41:54.440 --> 00:41:58.280 she struggles to believe that her inner child is there, which I've heard people 563 00:41:58.280 --> 00:42:00.519 say like I can't get in touch with my inner child this, that, 564 00:42:00.760 --> 00:42:05.480 And she's saying like I can't reach it. But then she said, it 565 00:42:05.519 --> 00:42:10.920 doesn't trust me anymore. Okay, hold on that story, because how do 566 00:42:10.960 --> 00:42:15.039 you know that? So you're telling yourself the story of my inner child doesn't 567 00:42:15.079 --> 00:42:19.039 like me. I mean, my inner child doesn't trust me just because you 568 00:42:19.079 --> 00:42:24.320 can't get in touch with it. I wouldn't tell myself that because we don't 569 00:42:24.400 --> 00:42:29.000 know what the truth is. But I don't think that that's the best thing 570 00:42:29.039 --> 00:42:31.159 because the reason why I'm saying that is because for you to tell yourself that 571 00:42:31.199 --> 00:42:36.119 your inner child doesn't trust you and doesn't want to like I don't know, 572 00:42:36.320 --> 00:42:40.480 come online, it's almost like you're in this energy of like powerlessness, like 573 00:42:40.960 --> 00:42:45.840 I don't there's no way I can get in touch with myself. I'm just 574 00:42:45.840 --> 00:42:49.480 like locked up, like there's a block, like I can't do it. 575 00:42:50.039 --> 00:42:54.440 So don't tell yourself that because you really if you've never even really connected with 576 00:42:54.440 --> 00:42:59.039 your inner child, that's actually not the truth, Like you don't even know 577 00:42:59.079 --> 00:43:01.360 that because you have. And what I actually think could be beneficial for you 578 00:43:01.559 --> 00:43:07.159 is for you to tell yourself a more favorable story, which you will most 579 00:43:07.199 --> 00:43:10.679 likely find you'll then be able to find ways to connect to your inner child. 580 00:43:10.840 --> 00:43:14.360 So instead of saying, oh, my inner child doesn't trust me, 581 00:43:14.480 --> 00:43:17.360 I'm blocked, I can't get in touch with myself, or this that you 582 00:43:17.360 --> 00:43:22.800 can tell yourself. I am able to get in touch with myself. I 583 00:43:22.840 --> 00:43:28.239 am on the journey of being able to find ways that I can connect with 584 00:43:28.320 --> 00:43:31.639 myself. But you're not saying you just can't, like you can. Again, 585 00:43:31.679 --> 00:43:35.679 you can't tell yourself that because you haven't even done it, so you 586 00:43:35.719 --> 00:43:38.920 don't even really know. But also I think it relieves a lot of pressure. 587 00:43:39.280 --> 00:43:43.320 This is just something I think. I think it relieves a lot of 588 00:43:43.360 --> 00:43:47.800 pressure when you stop having this energy of trying to force getting to your feelings 589 00:43:47.920 --> 00:43:57.000 or getting deep down to somewhere, and you'll find a natural sense of almost 590 00:43:57.039 --> 00:44:00.519 like your inner child wanting to actually come online because there's no resistance. That's 591 00:44:00.599 --> 00:44:05.519 just kind of what's helped me. I don't like sit there and like force 592 00:44:05.719 --> 00:44:08.480 myself to feel or like force whatever. A lot of the times when I'm 593 00:44:08.480 --> 00:44:15.119 connecting to my inner child, it is very natural. Why because my inner 594 00:44:15.199 --> 00:44:20.360 child is coming online when I don't feel good, or when I feel like 595 00:44:20.480 --> 00:44:23.519 crap about myself, or i feel like I'm doubting myself or I'm doubting what 596 00:44:23.639 --> 00:44:30.360 I have, whatever, those are perfect times for you to subtly get in 597 00:44:30.400 --> 00:44:32.719 touch with your inner child if you want. Sometimes I don't do it if 598 00:44:32.719 --> 00:44:36.559 I have an unfavorable thought. Sometimes I'm like, okay, Alicia, like 599 00:44:36.679 --> 00:44:39.800 enough, like it's not your truth. Okay. But sometimes if I'm feeling 600 00:44:39.840 --> 00:44:43.559 a certain way or I'm ruminating, I can go Okay, this is a 601 00:44:43.639 --> 00:44:45.719 chance. Okay, listen, I'm gonna put everything down. Put everything down. 602 00:44:45.920 --> 00:44:49.679 What do you need? Okay, because that's really what your in a 603 00:44:49.760 --> 00:44:52.719 child sometimes needs. Like I look at it as Okay, my inner child 604 00:44:52.800 --> 00:44:54.039 is online right now, she's crying. What do you need? Do you 605 00:44:54.039 --> 00:44:57.280 need me to let it out? Do you need me to cry? Do 606 00:44:57.360 --> 00:44:59.840 you need me to be a mad? Do I have to like let out 607 00:44:59.840 --> 00:45:04.000 this anger, this frustration? Am I trying to suppress? You? Have 608 00:45:04.119 --> 00:45:07.239 I been trying to, and you keep knocking at the door and being like 609 00:45:07.320 --> 00:45:10.480 hello, Hello, like simple things like that. I'm not like sitting down 610 00:45:10.639 --> 00:45:16.199 forcing myself. So I hope that helped. Someone said their internal dialogue is 611 00:45:16.320 --> 00:45:22.480 anything I start, I will not be able to finish. Well, that 612 00:45:22.559 --> 00:45:28.599 will be true because that's what you believe. So that's one thing. Yep, 613 00:45:28.639 --> 00:45:30.480 you're right about that. So now that we know that we're right about 614 00:45:30.519 --> 00:45:34.079 something that we don't want to be right about, what else can we do? 615 00:45:35.679 --> 00:45:39.199 I think the best thing here is to tell yourself something a little tiny 616 00:45:39.239 --> 00:45:46.159 bit different, which might be something like anything I start, I finish. 617 00:45:46.239 --> 00:45:50.719 But sometimes that might be too much for somebody to say. But if you 618 00:45:50.719 --> 00:45:54.239 can go there, do it. Anything I start, I finish. But 619 00:45:54.480 --> 00:46:00.800 also anything I start doesn't always have to be finished. Everything I start doesn't 620 00:46:00.800 --> 00:46:02.960 always have to be perfect. Everything I freaking start doesn't always have to be 621 00:46:04.480 --> 00:46:08.079 a one hundred percent I knocked out of the park. I know exactly what 622 00:46:08.119 --> 00:46:13.760 I'm doing, or I drive this home until the day I die. Okay, 623 00:46:13.840 --> 00:46:17.039 things change, you evolve. You don't have to be perfect with everything. 624 00:46:19.920 --> 00:46:24.320 Some things don't require you to have you having the finished product, or 625 00:46:24.360 --> 00:46:28.719 like you finishing every single thing. I used to just always think about that, 626 00:46:28.880 --> 00:46:30.480 like when it came to like the gym and stuff like you, I 627 00:46:30.480 --> 00:46:35.320 don't know, You're just always gonna want to move your body in different ways. 628 00:46:35.559 --> 00:46:37.920 You're gonna have seasons of life that are different. I was just maybe 629 00:46:37.960 --> 00:46:42.800 going back to the episode of what was it called how to Live Life on 630 00:46:42.880 --> 00:46:45.800 Easy Mode. I think I talked about the law of rhythm in that episode. 631 00:46:45.800 --> 00:46:51.400 I think that could help for that mindset of like all or nothing perfectionism. 632 00:46:51.639 --> 00:46:58.960 But just understand this one thing. If you believe that that anything you 633 00:46:59.000 --> 00:47:04.079 start you will not fit, that will be your reality. So ask yourself 634 00:47:04.079 --> 00:47:09.119 if you really want to be right about that. Okay, next internal dialogue 635 00:47:09.239 --> 00:47:14.159 situation, someone said, thinking people assume the worst about me when I set 636 00:47:14.199 --> 00:47:22.760 boundaries or speak my truth. So sometimes and I know because just the things 637 00:47:22.760 --> 00:47:28.480 that I've gone through, or you tend to pick up these beliefs from experience 638 00:47:29.199 --> 00:47:35.320 in your past. So either somebody either directly or indirectly taught you or showed 639 00:47:35.360 --> 00:47:40.960 you that speaking up will result in a consequence that you don't want. So 640 00:47:42.239 --> 00:47:45.559 sometimes knowing that about yourself and knowing where that came from and things like that 641 00:47:45.679 --> 00:47:50.039 is helpful again for you to tell yourself in the moment when you have that 642 00:47:50.159 --> 00:47:52.800 thought, like, Okay, no, that's actually not the truth, though 643 00:47:53.079 --> 00:47:58.400 it was the truth when my dad or my mom told me if I spoke 644 00:47:58.480 --> 00:48:01.320 out or if I said something that I would get in trouble. But that's 645 00:48:01.559 --> 00:48:07.079 how I was taught that that's not like the entirety of the universe or how 646 00:48:07.119 --> 00:48:12.480 I can move through life. And sometimes like I don't know, there was 647 00:48:12.519 --> 00:48:19.599 definitely a part of my family where there wasn't that much ability to be able 648 00:48:19.639 --> 00:48:25.519 to speak truth or emotions because we just didn't have the tools too and we 649 00:48:25.559 --> 00:48:31.239 didn't know how. But that doesn't mean like sometimes we like I would bring 650 00:48:31.320 --> 00:48:36.840 that into my relationships, but it was simply because I just didn't learn how 651 00:48:36.880 --> 00:48:42.440 to communicate my needs or my emotions. But I was looking at it as 652 00:48:42.559 --> 00:48:45.360 if I speak my needs and emotions like people aren't gonna like me or people 653 00:48:46.000 --> 00:48:50.360 or if I set boundaries, like people are gonna like respond in a bad 654 00:48:50.400 --> 00:48:53.880 way. But it wasn't that. It was more I was uncomfortable because I 655 00:48:53.920 --> 00:49:00.280 didn't know how to set boundaries, so I don't know, like where you're 656 00:49:00.320 --> 00:49:05.760 falling on the spectrum. Maybe it's both, but reminding yourself that you know 657 00:49:07.360 --> 00:49:15.440 you setting boundaries and speaking your truth. If that does have any sort of 658 00:49:15.639 --> 00:49:22.519 like backlash in a way, that person is not for you. And most 659 00:49:22.639 --> 00:49:28.800 likely maybe you learned when you're younger to not speak up or set boundaries. 660 00:49:28.840 --> 00:49:32.440 But most likely that was around somebody who wasn't really that healthy, right I 661 00:49:32.480 --> 00:49:39.920 think about myself with my dad, I was not allowed to speak and like 662 00:49:40.599 --> 00:49:45.679 show my emotions, cry about anything. I had to be quiet, Sit 663 00:49:45.760 --> 00:49:51.880 down, be quiet, your kid. But that was because he did not 664 00:49:52.119 --> 00:49:55.880 know how to be with my emotions. As a child, he was very 665 00:49:55.920 --> 00:50:00.679 strict. His own emotions were suppressed. He's living out his own story, 666 00:50:00.960 --> 00:50:06.000 so he wasn't comfortable. He didn't know how to I'm not condoning it at 667 00:50:06.000 --> 00:50:08.800 all. I'm just saying that was the truth. So I learned to suppress 668 00:50:08.840 --> 00:50:15.280 my own emotions because of somebody who didn't know how to be with their own 669 00:50:15.920 --> 00:50:21.079 aka somebody that wasn't really emotionally healthy. So now that I'm in my adult 670 00:50:21.119 --> 00:50:25.519 life, when I need to express my emotions, it's actually allowed, it's 671 00:50:25.599 --> 00:50:30.480 actually right. Essentially, I just didn't know and I wasn't taught that it 672 00:50:30.559 --> 00:50:36.039 was right. Now you might have to learn how to speak your emotions and 673 00:50:36.079 --> 00:50:39.239 set boundaries and things like that. It's obviously very dependent on who you're around, 674 00:50:39.920 --> 00:50:44.159 who you're trying to set boundaries with. But I think something that's just 675 00:50:44.199 --> 00:50:46.280 helped me is reminding myself I'm not wrong for doing these things is actually the 676 00:50:46.360 --> 00:50:52.079 right thing to do. And if I'm uncomfortable a lot of the times's just 677 00:50:52.159 --> 00:50:54.599 because I haven't tried it, and you're not going to feel that comfortable right 678 00:50:54.639 --> 00:50:58.880 at first, but that's fine, doesn't mean that you're wrong. And also 679 00:50:59.079 --> 00:51:04.440 if somebody is not okay with me setting clear boundaries and speaking my truth, 680 00:51:04.639 --> 00:51:08.599 they're not for me. Obviously, we're not walking through life and being friends 681 00:51:08.719 --> 00:51:14.920 or being relationships with people who we can't speak our truth. That's a fake 682 00:51:15.000 --> 00:51:17.719 relationship in my my head, in my life, and I don't want that. 683 00:51:19.199 --> 00:51:22.840 I'm good. I'd rather be single than to not be who I am. 684 00:51:22.159 --> 00:51:27.039 I'd rather have no friends than to be around people where I feel like 685 00:51:27.239 --> 00:51:31.440 I can't say, you know my truth or whatever. And obviously there is 686 00:51:31.679 --> 00:51:37.079 a spectrum. You don't have to be speaking your truth damn near every second 687 00:51:37.199 --> 00:51:38.800 everyone has their own beliefs, like you don't have you know what I mean, 688 00:51:38.880 --> 00:51:43.519 but like I don't know. So I hope that helped you. Okay, 689 00:51:43.519 --> 00:51:45.079 I'm gonna try and speed through the next few because there's a lot more 690 00:51:45.119 --> 00:51:47.880 than I thought. But someone said I overthink too much, and sometimes it's 691 00:51:47.880 --> 00:51:52.519 hard for me to let go of what's bothering me. Stop telling yourself that 692 00:51:52.559 --> 00:51:55.599 you overthink so much. Let's just erase it and say something else. I 693 00:51:55.599 --> 00:52:00.000 don't care what you need to tell yourself, but we are no longer identified 694 00:52:00.840 --> 00:52:04.960 with somebody who's an overthinker. I get it. It's helpful. Sometimes the 695 00:52:05.000 --> 00:52:07.119 same way is helpful to think about, Oh, I'm anxious, attached, 696 00:52:07.360 --> 00:52:12.840 I'm avoidan he's this, that person's that, this that, But sometimes it 697 00:52:12.920 --> 00:52:17.360 actually doesn't help. So we're not gonna do that even thinking about being somebody 698 00:52:17.760 --> 00:52:22.480 or affirming to yourself that you are somebody who knows how to let things go 699 00:52:22.360 --> 00:52:28.760 or you're learning how to let things go. And honestly, when you stop 700 00:52:28.840 --> 00:52:35.960 telling yourself that you're such an overthinker, you will find you tend to let 701 00:52:36.000 --> 00:52:38.800 things go a little bit more because you're not overthinking so much, because you're 702 00:52:38.800 --> 00:52:44.559 not living out that identity. I hope that makes sense. Next, my 703 00:52:44.599 --> 00:52:46.519 family is on the verge of bankruptcy, so I'm really trying to step out 704 00:52:46.559 --> 00:52:52.039 of the state of lack. So I only know what I know, and 705 00:52:52.079 --> 00:53:00.239 I only am picking up on energy and wording. Okay, I want you 706 00:53:00.280 --> 00:53:05.199 to not like fight your reality. I don't know we're going with this with 707 00:53:05.280 --> 00:53:07.400 the whole like I'm trying to snap out into the state, like state of 708 00:53:07.480 --> 00:53:09.800 lack because what we hear about all the time, right, I talk about 709 00:53:09.800 --> 00:53:14.360 it too, don't be in lack thinking from lack this that. But sometimes 710 00:53:14.400 --> 00:53:19.599 we're like so afraid to like think in lack that we sometimes like completely try 711 00:53:19.639 --> 00:53:22.400 and be delusional about what's going on in reality because we don't want to think 712 00:53:22.400 --> 00:53:25.079 about lack. It's fine, You're gonna like it's fine. You can acknowledge 713 00:53:25.119 --> 00:53:29.920 what's happening in your life. It is real, it is real, what's 714 00:53:29.960 --> 00:53:32.400 happening. It is okay. If you don't feel the best all the time, 715 00:53:32.519 --> 00:53:36.199 of course, you're not going to feel like the most abundant person when 716 00:53:36.239 --> 00:53:40.119 you are literally going through something like that. So let's just breathe. Okay, 717 00:53:40.239 --> 00:53:45.079 it is fine, And what tends to happen. When you have that 718 00:53:45.400 --> 00:53:47.320 that mindset of just kind of like releasing resistance. Okay, it's okay, 719 00:53:47.360 --> 00:53:51.679 we're gonna be fine. Is that you will have the mindset of more of 720 00:53:52.079 --> 00:53:55.159 okay, maybe I can do it, no problem, this can be fixed. 721 00:53:55.559 --> 00:53:59.760 You'll start to have more of an optimistic mind when you have when you 722 00:53:59.760 --> 00:54:02.440 really that resistance, you kind of will Sometimes we're afraid to do that because 723 00:54:02.440 --> 00:54:06.079 we think we're just gonna spiral, but I tend to find that that's not 724 00:54:06.119 --> 00:54:09.840 actually. But also what you can do is because you want to probably think 725 00:54:09.920 --> 00:54:14.079 better thoughts. Is like, Okay, just because you're going through, your 726 00:54:14.119 --> 00:54:16.960 family is going through this doesn't mean that this is going to be written into 727 00:54:17.000 --> 00:54:22.039 your future unless you do it. Unless you do it. You want to 728 00:54:22.039 --> 00:54:23.480 take this story and run with it in your future, go for it. 729 00:54:23.760 --> 00:54:30.159 But you don't have to. And it's coming from somebody sorry that has had 730 00:54:30.199 --> 00:54:37.239 a story that wasn't the best and I could have let that be my life 731 00:54:37.239 --> 00:54:38.760 and I didn't. I completely did not. I said no, thank you. 732 00:54:39.320 --> 00:54:42.960 I don't want this to be my life. It could be your life 733 00:54:42.960 --> 00:54:46.119 over here, love you from afar whatever we're talking about. But yeah, 734 00:54:46.119 --> 00:54:50.119 that's not going to be for me, So hopefully that helped. Someone said 735 00:54:50.840 --> 00:54:53.920 they have the fear of gaining weight and losing value. That's the thought process, 736 00:54:54.159 --> 00:54:59.400 the fear of gaining weight and losing value from gaining weight. And then 737 00:54:59.519 --> 00:55:07.280 though they said in brackets, absolutely false, of course, right, absolutely 738 00:55:07.400 --> 00:55:14.280 false, So continue to persist in that mindset. Someone said, not believing 739 00:55:14.280 --> 00:55:16.760 in my own efforts because I failed the last time and other times when I 740 00:55:16.840 --> 00:55:22.760 tried to change. You need to start using positive evidence. That's like positive 741 00:55:23.119 --> 00:55:28.119 So let's stop basing what we can do today based off of what we couldn't 742 00:55:28.159 --> 00:55:32.800 do past tense or things we fail at. So think about some of the 743 00:55:32.840 --> 00:55:37.559 things that you have excelled at and think about that consistently. Use that as 744 00:55:37.559 --> 00:55:42.920 a practice. We don't need to be measuring success based off of things that 745 00:55:43.199 --> 00:55:46.719 didn't go well. I understand why. It's your brain doing its thing, 746 00:55:47.519 --> 00:55:52.360 but it's just it's really at the end of the day, it's not helpful 747 00:55:52.400 --> 00:55:59.400 to continuously try to create out of a place of things not working out. 748 00:56:00.239 --> 00:56:02.079 Just say, focus on the positive evidence. And I'm sure a lot of 749 00:56:02.119 --> 00:56:06.960 the advice that was in this episode helped you with that one Okay. The 750 00:56:07.039 --> 00:56:13.760 last one they said trying to be or feel on the same level as executives 751 00:56:13.840 --> 00:56:19.400 with twenty plus years or more experience. So I'm assuming it's obviously a job 752 00:56:19.440 --> 00:56:22.800 situation, which I think a lot of people can relate. It's comparison at 753 00:56:22.840 --> 00:56:28.320 the end of the day. Okay, especially for this one. First of 754 00:56:28.360 --> 00:56:32.599 all, become a student, especially when you're in the workforce. It's kind 755 00:56:32.639 --> 00:56:36.679 of different when it comes to like comparison with like looks and stuff, but 756 00:56:36.960 --> 00:56:43.280 workforce become the students. It's okay, you don't You're not an executive, 757 00:56:43.719 --> 00:56:47.760 so why are you assuming that you need to be thinking moving being like a 758 00:56:49.159 --> 00:56:54.480 twenty plus experience executive. Now, this is not to get it confused with 759 00:56:54.639 --> 00:57:00.280 identifying as somebody who believes that they can be that and that they're learning and 760 00:57:00.320 --> 00:57:02.039 whatever. Like, you don't have to look down on yourself because I talk 761 00:57:02.079 --> 00:57:07.079 about identifying as being the person that you want to be. But the executive 762 00:57:07.239 --> 00:57:12.920 that is that has what twenty plus years of experience. I don't know how 763 00:57:12.920 --> 00:57:15.559 old you are, like how much experience that you have, but girl, 764 00:57:16.920 --> 00:57:22.000 just become the student. It's fine, learn and that will help you feel 765 00:57:22.000 --> 00:57:24.519 like, Okay, No, I'm not putting myself down and I'm still learning, 766 00:57:24.719 --> 00:57:30.840 but I'm trying. If these twenty plus years executives for whatever reason, 767 00:57:30.960 --> 00:57:37.119 expect you to be acting, moving being executing like them, they should not 768 00:57:37.280 --> 00:57:42.559 be an executive. Okay, So you need to change the story of maybe 769 00:57:42.599 --> 00:57:46.039 how you think that they think, because we have a story about how people 770 00:57:46.119 --> 00:57:52.679 view us and what people think about us and everything. So sometimes it's about 771 00:57:52.760 --> 00:57:57.320 changing the story that you're placing onto these people. Now, sometimes that story 772 00:57:57.400 --> 00:58:01.079 might be true, which then it's like, Okay, we're You're weird for 773 00:58:01.159 --> 00:58:05.000 having a limiting belief on me or like telling me that I have to be 774 00:58:05.039 --> 00:58:07.960 exactly like you and we're not even in the same lane. So that's weird, 775 00:58:07.320 --> 00:58:12.159 you know what I mean. But a lot of times we have these 776 00:58:12.440 --> 00:58:16.079 stories that we place on someone else based off of other things that we've experienced 777 00:58:16.199 --> 00:58:24.679 or what we assume or what we expect. So stop expecting that from yourself 778 00:58:24.760 --> 00:58:29.599 in that way, just be the student. So I think that is going 779 00:58:29.679 --> 00:58:32.039 to be everything for this episode. I hope you got something out of it. 780 00:58:32.480 --> 00:58:36.800 Please let me know if you liked it. And if you did like 781 00:58:36.840 --> 00:58:40.960 this episode, I would so love if you guys gave me a star review 782 00:58:42.159 --> 00:58:45.320 on Spotify. I think you can do it on Apple as well. One 783 00:58:45.320 --> 00:58:47.679 of you guys just left a five star review and you guys said you love 784 00:58:47.760 --> 00:58:51.360 the podcast. I don't remember word for a word, what she I don't 785 00:58:51.400 --> 00:58:53.960 know. If it's a she, I'm assuming. I don't know, but 786 00:58:54.039 --> 00:58:58.199 it was really sweet and I see those. That's the reason why I'm bringing 787 00:58:58.199 --> 00:59:00.760 it up is I do see them, so thank you so much. And 788 00:59:00.920 --> 00:59:06.000 the ratings for my podcast just help it get out to more people. So 789 00:59:06.280 --> 00:59:09.239 if you think I deserve five stars, I would love Also, don't forget 790 00:59:09.239 --> 00:59:13.360 to follow the podcast. You can do that on Spotify and Apple, and 791 00:59:13.400 --> 00:59:15.239 if you're watching on YouTube, you can subscribe and you can let me know 792 00:59:15.440 --> 00:59:20.199 what you enjoyed about this podcast. I'll see you guys in the next one. Bye.