WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:03.319 Hi everyone, and welcome back to our podcast episode. My name is Alicia 2 00:00:03.359 --> 00:00:06.879 Gogin, the host of the Globe Secrets podcast, where I help you expand 3 00:00:06.919 --> 00:00:10.400 your mind and become more self aware so that you can glow up into the 4 00:00:10.400 --> 00:00:15.800 best version of yourself. You guys really love the intro, so I just 5 00:00:15.839 --> 00:00:19.160 want to say this one more time. We're keeping the intro because I'm still 6 00:00:19.160 --> 00:00:21.679 getting comments being like you should keep the intro. I say it with you, 7 00:00:21.719 --> 00:00:24.679 guys, or sorry, you guys, say it with me. Don't 8 00:00:24.679 --> 00:00:27.399 worry, We've got it. Maybe I was just having a little bit of 9 00:00:27.440 --> 00:00:29.760 a hyperfixation that week and I was like, oh my god, I need 10 00:00:29.800 --> 00:00:33.840 to rebrand my life. But we're fine. It's fine. Anyways, how 11 00:00:33.880 --> 00:00:38.119 are we doing. You guys really enjoyed last week's episode where we talked about 12 00:00:38.159 --> 00:00:44.240 toxic habits that we are dropping and we're gonna change up the vibe a little 13 00:00:44.280 --> 00:00:49.560 bit when it comes to being annoyed at ourselves. I was talking about in 14 00:00:49.600 --> 00:00:55.479 that episode how I feel like I haven't really been making myself that proud and 15 00:00:55.880 --> 00:01:00.920 really living out to my full potential, which you know, we ebben it's 16 00:01:00.960 --> 00:01:03.799 fine, but today I kind of want to actually talk about the opposite, 17 00:01:03.799 --> 00:01:07.120 which is, you know, on the other hand, I do actually and 18 00:01:07.239 --> 00:01:11.640 have actually made myself very proud over the years, and I feel like I 19 00:01:11.680 --> 00:01:17.680 have really flourished in a lot of ways and really just became the woman of 20 00:01:17.719 --> 00:01:21.840 my dreams or just the woman in my eyes that is just an amazing person 21 00:01:22.359 --> 00:01:25.920 and has really matured, and I want to talk about it today. I 22 00:01:26.000 --> 00:01:30.319 want to talk about how to really mature and flourish into the woman of your 23 00:01:30.400 --> 00:01:36.200 dreams. But listen, I'm just going to disclaim this. Everyone has a 24 00:01:36.239 --> 00:01:41.120 different version of what their dream version of themselves are going to be. This 25 00:01:41.239 --> 00:01:45.439 is just my kind of definition and what I think is really great in terms 26 00:01:45.480 --> 00:01:49.040 of how I look at someone who is mature. So and this is also 27 00:01:49.079 --> 00:01:51.640 not every single thing. These are just a few things that I think that 28 00:01:52.680 --> 00:01:53.920 I get a lot of questions about, so I kind of want to talk 29 00:01:53.959 --> 00:02:00.840 about them, and I think, you know, maybe a side note, 30 00:02:00.879 --> 00:02:07.239 but a personal take is I'm twenty eight. I turned twenty eight November fifth. 31 00:02:07.480 --> 00:02:12.800 I am a Scorpio and the year twenty eight has it been a year 32 00:02:13.039 --> 00:02:17.080 for me? Every year I realize things as Kylie Jenner. Again, like 33 00:02:17.120 --> 00:02:23.120 I said, last week would say, but I really have been just it's 34 00:02:23.120 --> 00:02:28.159 not even coming into my own because I think some of you guys know my 35 00:02:28.240 --> 00:02:31.719 backstory. I had to grow up at a very young age, and I've 36 00:02:31.759 --> 00:02:36.919 always been independent. I've always been in many ways been making myself proud, 37 00:02:36.960 --> 00:02:39.759 like I have a really good self concept. I'm confident. I've literally had 38 00:02:39.800 --> 00:02:44.800 to be like life literally was like sinker swim, bitch, and we are 39 00:02:44.840 --> 00:02:46.680 not sinking, so we got to swim. So I have learned how to 40 00:02:46.719 --> 00:02:51.639 do that. But regardless, I am not a perfect human being. There 41 00:02:51.680 --> 00:02:55.479 are so many lessons and things that I have to continuously learn and relearn things 42 00:02:55.479 --> 00:03:00.759 I have not even learned yet. And twenty eight some of the things that 43 00:03:00.800 --> 00:03:07.000 I have really learned and came into in this year have really made me look 44 00:03:07.039 --> 00:03:10.199 at myself in the mirror and be like, you know what you really you 45 00:03:10.319 --> 00:03:15.000 have flourish, like you have matured, Like you are a woman. And 46 00:03:16.080 --> 00:03:21.159 there's obviously a lot of things that you can use to define when a woman 47 00:03:21.280 --> 00:03:23.960 is. Everyone's gonna have their own thing. This is not about me, 48 00:03:23.240 --> 00:03:28.479 like deciding who is a woman whatever, And even if you're a man, 49 00:03:29.039 --> 00:03:30.719 you can listen to this if you don't identify as one, that's fine, 50 00:03:30.719 --> 00:03:34.599 We're not even gonna be talking like these. What I'm going to talk about 51 00:03:34.599 --> 00:03:38.240 in this episode is very like everyone can take these tips, But I just 52 00:03:38.280 --> 00:03:46.000 think that you know, there are things that you need to kind of live 53 00:03:46.080 --> 00:03:52.840 by that I do think in life will make you feel like you are really 54 00:03:53.759 --> 00:03:57.439 that bitch, like you really just matured, like you really are standing in 55 00:03:57.479 --> 00:03:59.439 your own And I want to talk about those things. I want to talk 56 00:03:59.479 --> 00:04:03.000 about healthy boundaries. I want to talk about not putting people on pedestals and 57 00:04:03.439 --> 00:04:10.879 shiny object sorry syndrome and what was the other one in that little tip? 58 00:04:11.360 --> 00:04:14.719 Hold on, let me see, Oh, understanding that your timeline is different 59 00:04:14.759 --> 00:04:17.920 than others, and really just like owning who you are as a person, 60 00:04:18.839 --> 00:04:23.639 and also self love and self acceptance. I think some of those things are 61 00:04:24.079 --> 00:04:27.040 the reason why I can look in the mirror and say I have flourished, 62 00:04:27.079 --> 00:04:31.319 I have matured. So let's first talk about healthy boundaries. I think someone 63 00:04:31.360 --> 00:04:38.759 who has really matured and flourished, they understand the importance of healthy boundaries, 64 00:04:38.800 --> 00:04:42.480 and they have healthy boundaries. Now, I'm not saying that you're an immature 65 00:04:43.040 --> 00:04:45.920 person if you don't know how to have boundaries, because I think that that's 66 00:04:45.920 --> 00:04:49.680 something that a lot of people really struggle with. But you know, somebody 67 00:04:49.680 --> 00:04:56.399 who is come into their own and there is really just owning who they are. 68 00:04:56.519 --> 00:05:00.680 Yes, they have healthy boundaries, and I think that but having healthy 69 00:05:00.680 --> 00:05:04.519 boundaries is going to look different from person to person. But having healthy boundaries 70 00:05:04.600 --> 00:05:10.800 is so important for you to continue to focus and refine in your life because 71 00:05:11.319 --> 00:05:16.000 that allows you to then be able to stay on track and really hit goals 72 00:05:16.000 --> 00:05:23.079 and have a vision for yourself in your life. And I think that you 73 00:05:23.160 --> 00:05:26.519 know when you think when you look up to someone in your life, whether 74 00:05:26.519 --> 00:05:31.040 that's older or even younger, they usually have some sort of healthy boundaries, 75 00:05:31.519 --> 00:05:36.360 even if you maybe don't know, because that allows them to hit those goals 76 00:05:36.439 --> 00:05:42.120 that you are probably like really admiring them about or on. Like for me, 77 00:05:43.399 --> 00:05:47.759 I am somebody who has hit a lot of goals and like accomplish a 78 00:05:47.800 --> 00:05:51.120 lot of things in my life because I have had to say no to things 79 00:05:51.120 --> 00:05:57.560 that do not serve me. I have had to choose myself over other people 80 00:05:58.160 --> 00:06:03.720 and I've had to be apologetic about that sometimes. And I think, especially 81 00:06:03.759 --> 00:06:08.560 when you're young, you kind of for many reasons. Maybe people have taught 82 00:06:08.560 --> 00:06:13.600 you it's it's bad to not put yourself first, or you you know whatever. 83 00:06:13.680 --> 00:06:17.279 We usually just feel bad for that, but a mature person understands that 84 00:06:17.519 --> 00:06:21.199 you're not a bad person because you have boundaries. You're not a bad person 85 00:06:21.240 --> 00:06:25.879 because you've chosen yourself and you've said no to things that do not serve you. 86 00:06:26.240 --> 00:06:29.680 And the more you say no to things that do not serve you, 87 00:06:28.959 --> 00:06:32.560 you will feel more confident in yourself. Maybe when you first do it, 88 00:06:32.560 --> 00:06:38.720 it might feel weird and awkward, but over time like you will have confidence 89 00:06:38.759 --> 00:06:41.279 in yourself. You will look at yourself in the mirror and be like, 90 00:06:41.360 --> 00:06:45.439 I am that bitch. Why because you decided to choose yourself today. You 91 00:06:45.519 --> 00:06:48.279 decided to say no to the things that are just going to down the line 92 00:06:49.160 --> 00:06:57.319 stress you out or not contribute to an overall like great health, vibrancy, 93 00:06:58.800 --> 00:07:01.600 energy, life force I guess not life force. I don't know where that 94 00:07:01.639 --> 00:07:09.120 word came from anyways. Healthy boundaries has been something that I have really felt 95 00:07:09.160 --> 00:07:15.240 that has helped me not only hit goals in my life, but really just 96 00:07:15.279 --> 00:07:17.639 look at myself like, yes, I am that bitch. I have matured, 97 00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:23.639 I know myself, and I think what helps when it comes to having 98 00:07:23.680 --> 00:07:29.920 healthy boundaries is to genuinely just sit down in your season of life and think 99 00:07:29.920 --> 00:07:32.480 about the goals and the vision that you hold for your future and what you 100 00:07:32.720 --> 00:07:36.480 want to accomplish and who you want to become and who you and how you 101 00:07:36.519 --> 00:07:40.120 want to live your life and where you want to spend your time and your 102 00:07:40.240 --> 00:07:44.199 energy. When you have a plan and a vision for yourself, it will 103 00:07:44.240 --> 00:07:47.639 allow you to more easily say no to things that don't serve you. I 104 00:07:47.639 --> 00:07:53.199 think there's a lot of struggle out there, and I've for sure struggled with 105 00:07:53.279 --> 00:07:57.480 this with even saying no to people, places and things that do not serve 106 00:07:57.560 --> 00:08:00.920 you. And I have found and what I do see for sure when my 107 00:08:00.920 --> 00:08:03.839 friends come to me for advice and things like that too, is there's just 108 00:08:03.920 --> 00:08:07.959 no vision. There's just no goals. There's just no structure in your days, 109 00:08:09.000 --> 00:08:11.720 in your weeks, in your months, where it's like it's no wonder 110 00:08:13.319 --> 00:08:16.040 you say yes to everything, or you're you're saying yes to this person over 111 00:08:16.079 --> 00:08:20.199 here and then you're entertaining this person, this guy, this girl, this 112 00:08:20.319 --> 00:08:26.759 whatever. Because you don't have any sort of vision, you're not holding yourself 113 00:08:26.800 --> 00:08:30.600 and anchoring yourself down to anything. So yeah, it's no wonder sometimes where 114 00:08:30.600 --> 00:08:33.159 you wake up one day and you're like, holy shit, like I'm doing 115 00:08:33.200 --> 00:08:37.360 all these random things. My time is stretched everywhere. I feel like I'm 116 00:08:37.399 --> 00:08:41.039 never taking care of myself. Well, have you sat down and thought about 117 00:08:41.559 --> 00:08:46.600 where you want the next five to ten years of your life to be to 118 00:08:46.679 --> 00:08:52.639 go to look like? And obviously things absolutely change. Okay, it will 119 00:08:52.639 --> 00:08:56.120 always change. You don't need to be tied down to something forever, and 120 00:08:56.399 --> 00:09:00.759 I don't really think you should. But to how I have some sort of 121 00:09:00.799 --> 00:09:03.120 structure in your day, I really do find allows you to say no. 122 00:09:03.200 --> 00:09:07.000 And I'll give you a quick example of just like, Okay, if somebody 123 00:09:07.000 --> 00:09:11.919 comes to you and says, hey, there's like a party tonight, do 124 00:09:11.960 --> 00:09:16.360 you want to come? If you don't have a routine or a goal or 125 00:09:16.639 --> 00:09:20.360 a job or something where you have to show up to, maybe, let's 126 00:09:20.399 --> 00:09:24.879 say the next day, you might say yes. I mean, maybe you're 127 00:09:24.919 --> 00:09:28.200 really good with your like boundaries and just saying no and being like ah, 128 00:09:28.240 --> 00:09:31.799 that doesn't serve me. But for a lot of people it's like, well, 129 00:09:31.240 --> 00:09:33.679 if you don't have anything that you have to do the next day, 130 00:09:33.720 --> 00:09:37.120 like maybe you'll go out, and is it the worst thing to go out? 131 00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:41.120 No, it's not. But we find ourselves doing those behaviors and going 132 00:09:41.159 --> 00:09:43.039 out and doing things over time where we're like, oh, was that really 133 00:09:43.080 --> 00:09:46.919 the best way to spend my time? Or I'm spending a lot more money 134 00:09:46.919 --> 00:09:50.200 than I should or I'm drinking more, I'm doing these things, or I'm 135 00:09:50.200 --> 00:09:54.200 surrounding myself with people who maybe I shouldn't be. We do those things sometimes 136 00:09:54.200 --> 00:09:56.559 because it's like, well, we don't have anything else to do. We 137 00:09:56.600 --> 00:10:01.919 don't have any sort of structure or any sort of person to be, you 138 00:10:01.960 --> 00:10:05.320 know, holding us accountable, or thing or hobby or anything to be holding 139 00:10:05.320 --> 00:10:09.600 ourselves accountable, or even a goal. So really sitting down and taking the 140 00:10:09.679 --> 00:10:15.919 time. And I think that I've always had this, like from age sixteen, 141 00:10:16.440 --> 00:10:18.639 genuinely, even probably earlier than that, but I think back to when 142 00:10:18.639 --> 00:10:22.080 my dad passed away is when I was sixteen, So I always kind of 143 00:10:22.080 --> 00:10:24.360 go back to that timeline because I think that that's when life really hit me. 144 00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:31.559 I started having a vision for my life and goals and vision boards and 145 00:10:31.960 --> 00:10:35.120 always just coming back to what are my monthly goals? Like what do I 146 00:10:35.120 --> 00:10:37.360 want to see my life? Da? Da da, And so that naturally 147 00:10:37.519 --> 00:10:43.080 allowed me to stop falling into people, places and things that did not serve 148 00:10:43.159 --> 00:10:46.759 me, and naturally allowed me to have these healthy boundaries because it was very 149 00:10:46.759 --> 00:10:50.759 clear that like I had something to do over here. So yeah, I'm 150 00:10:50.840 --> 00:10:54.240 gonna like obviously have to say no to this thing. Okay. Another thing 151 00:10:54.320 --> 00:11:00.360 that I think that somebody who is really mature and has flourished in to their 152 00:11:00.399 --> 00:11:05.840 own lives by and moves by I guess that's not the right word, but 153 00:11:05.879 --> 00:11:09.000 whatever, And something that I think that I have really really learned, like 154 00:11:09.080 --> 00:11:11.799 this is what I mean. Twenty eight has been the year of realizing things. 155 00:11:11.840 --> 00:11:18.320 It has really been deconstructing and no longer living life like this, which 156 00:11:18.519 --> 00:11:24.279 is and I have like three things all into one. No longer putting people 157 00:11:24.320 --> 00:11:31.320 on pedestals. The size of goddamn Mount Everest is so crucial, which I 158 00:11:31.320 --> 00:11:33.879 have always been somebody and you might not even be able to really even tell 159 00:11:35.519 --> 00:11:39.519 with how I speak or what I do in my life, but that for 160 00:11:39.600 --> 00:11:45.000 sure has been something that I've always struggled with, Always putting other people's opinions 161 00:11:45.600 --> 00:11:50.360 above mine, always putting what they do as like they're right and I'm wrong 162 00:11:50.519 --> 00:11:54.919 just because let's say somebody is doing something that is successful or different than me. 163 00:11:56.480 --> 00:12:00.399 Like, just because somebody is doing something that is great doesn't mean that 164 00:12:00.759 --> 00:12:03.440 they're right and you're wrong or that you should be doing it like them, 165 00:12:03.480 --> 00:12:09.440 just because they're being successful with doing something. And also shiny object syndrome comes 166 00:12:09.440 --> 00:12:13.320 into play with this, and what I mean by shiny objects syndrome, it's 167 00:12:13.360 --> 00:12:16.840 kind of what I just said, like when you see someone doing something great 168 00:12:16.960 --> 00:12:20.879 over there and you just like automatically like drop everything that you're doing and you're 169 00:12:20.919 --> 00:12:22.519 like, oh, I have to be like them, or I have to 170 00:12:22.559 --> 00:12:26.639 do it just like them, just because it's like shiny and cool and like 171 00:12:26.679 --> 00:12:30.639 what they're doing over here is like or over there, sorry, is really 172 00:12:30.679 --> 00:12:35.759 cool and or like or you just see somebody who has a new bag, 173 00:12:37.000 --> 00:12:41.080 or they do their makeup a certain way, or they got this surgery done, 174 00:12:41.360 --> 00:12:45.200 or they're taking this career path, or they're dating these type of guys 175 00:12:45.240 --> 00:12:46.879 who have this type of money over here, and then automatically you're like, 176 00:12:46.879 --> 00:12:50.120 oh my god, it's so cool over here, and you just abandon your 177 00:12:50.200 --> 00:12:54.639 values, your morals, what is true to you what you actually want to 178 00:12:54.679 --> 00:12:58.759 live your life like just because these people are doing it over here. And 179 00:12:58.799 --> 00:13:01.080 I think that social media place a huge role in that. So really dropping 180 00:13:01.120 --> 00:13:05.360 that shiny object syndrome and you know, sticking to something and staying in your 181 00:13:05.399 --> 00:13:09.919 own lane. And of course there's always room for influence and there's always room 182 00:13:09.000 --> 00:13:13.679 for you know, getting inspired by somebody. But God was at a lesson 183 00:13:13.679 --> 00:13:18.159 that I really really had to learn, and it definitely, it definitely just 184 00:13:18.399 --> 00:13:20.799 deterred me a lot from being consistent with things and getting results in my life 185 00:13:20.840 --> 00:13:24.679 because I constantly was jumping from thing to thing to thing. And I think 186 00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:28.240 that's a normal process when especially when you're in your twenties, because you're learning 187 00:13:28.279 --> 00:13:31.919 who you are, what you like, what you don't, but understanding again 188 00:13:31.960 --> 00:13:35.279 coming back to the pedestal thing, like just because somebody has something over here 189 00:13:35.360 --> 00:13:41.559 doesn't mean that you need to abandon yourself to have or be that person over 190 00:13:41.600 --> 00:13:43.159 there, you know what I mean. And then the last thing is understanding 191 00:13:43.200 --> 00:13:46.080 that your timeline is different than others as kind of another thing. I just 192 00:13:46.159 --> 00:13:54.840 think that I have definitely learned this lesson over my life that just because your 193 00:13:54.879 --> 00:13:58.919 friends let's say I'll give you an example. Your friends are doing like part 194 00:14:00.279 --> 00:14:03.200 over here, or let's say they're taking trips and they're traveling, or they 195 00:14:03.200 --> 00:14:07.320 make more money than you, or they have a boyfriend and you don't. 196 00:14:07.559 --> 00:14:13.200 Whatever it is, it doesn't mean that you need to push yourself and get 197 00:14:13.200 --> 00:14:16.440 mad at yourself and your life because you don't have what they have at that 198 00:14:16.559 --> 00:14:24.919 same timeline. Your timeline is completely different. Those three things just really reminding 199 00:14:24.919 --> 00:14:28.600 myself that I don't need to put these people on pedestals just because they're doing 200 00:14:28.639 --> 00:14:33.840 different things than me, or you know somebody who's living on a different timeline 201 00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:35.519 than me, Like I don't need to look at myself like I'm bad or 202 00:14:35.559 --> 00:14:39.559 wrong. Has really really helped me feel like I am mature and I'm and 203 00:14:39.639 --> 00:14:43.480 honestly just happy with my life. Like that's really it. Like you continuously 204 00:14:45.519 --> 00:14:50.519 move through life, constantly looking at your life and just comparing, comparing, 205 00:14:50.600 --> 00:14:54.320 comparing, you will be so unhappy. And not only will you be unhappy, 206 00:14:54.600 --> 00:15:00.240 you might go into these lengths of abandoning yourself and what you're working on 207 00:15:00.360 --> 00:15:03.720 in your own lane and then jumping into someone else's. Realizing that doesn't work 208 00:15:03.720 --> 00:15:07.080 for you and then having to start back over on something that is like actually 209 00:15:07.120 --> 00:15:11.759 true to you and it's just not needed. It really isn't. And I 210 00:15:11.639 --> 00:15:16.200 understand the struggle, right because especially when you're in your twenties, like you're 211 00:15:16.200 --> 00:15:20.279 trying to figure out what's for you and what honestly it's actually not like what's 212 00:15:20.279 --> 00:15:26.799 for you and what's for what's not, But it's more you don't know how 213 00:15:26.840 --> 00:15:31.519 to back yourself and have confidence within yourself that what you are doing is good, 214 00:15:31.600 --> 00:15:37.080 because I think society does a great job at trying to make you second 215 00:15:37.159 --> 00:15:41.720 guess what you're doing and that you should always do more and there's always better 216 00:15:41.840 --> 00:15:45.679 and it's just really not the case. But it's going to be up to 217 00:15:45.759 --> 00:15:48.039 you in your life to decide that who you are as a person, what 218 00:15:48.120 --> 00:15:52.159 you're interested in, where you're going in your life, is what you should 219 00:15:52.200 --> 00:15:58.320 be doing. And I think sometimes we're waiting for permission, We're waiting for 220 00:15:58.360 --> 00:16:02.279 other people to tell us that, but nobody tells us that. If anything, 221 00:16:02.279 --> 00:16:07.360 when we look outside of ourselves, we're we're hoping to have someone validate 222 00:16:07.360 --> 00:16:10.960 ourselves and be like this is your line, Like you're doing everything great, 223 00:16:11.720 --> 00:16:15.279 but unfortunately we usually just see people doing things different than us, and because 224 00:16:15.279 --> 00:16:18.440 we don't have that validation of what we're doing in our own lives, we're 225 00:16:18.480 --> 00:16:21.639 like, fuck nobody, Like, I'm not on the same timeline. I 226 00:16:21.639 --> 00:16:23.720 should be doing it like them. So this is maybe this is just like 227 00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:29.320 your PSA. This is something that I wish that I heard more. Is 228 00:16:30.000 --> 00:16:33.240 what you were doing is good enough. Continue to do what you want to 229 00:16:33.240 --> 00:16:37.600 do in your life, and stay in your lane and really learn to validate 230 00:16:37.639 --> 00:16:41.919 yourself because if you don't, you will be following the trends. You will 231 00:16:41.919 --> 00:16:45.159 be doing what everyone else is doing constantly, be thrown into this, that 232 00:16:45.240 --> 00:16:48.320 and the third fucking whatever it is that you're trying to do, and you'll 233 00:16:48.320 --> 00:16:51.799 probably just come back to yourself, which is fine. It's a learning lesson 234 00:16:51.879 --> 00:16:55.320 things of that nature. But that's what I have learned is like, Okay, 235 00:16:55.600 --> 00:16:57.399 I don't know, maybe this is a sign note, but at the 236 00:16:57.399 --> 00:17:03.319 age of twenty eight, I have realized, especially when it comes to people 237 00:17:03.319 --> 00:17:07.440 who are older than me, nobody knows what the fuck they're doing, Okay, 238 00:17:07.680 --> 00:17:12.160 Like nobody, Like just because people who might seem to have it all 239 00:17:12.160 --> 00:17:18.279 together like on the outside, they still don't know what they're doing, okay. 240 00:17:18.319 --> 00:17:21.920 And there's a lot of people who are older than you that you think 241 00:17:21.960 --> 00:17:26.119 that should be wiser than you, that you think that are doing the right 242 00:17:26.200 --> 00:17:30.359 thing just because they're older than you, and they're not. Okay. I 243 00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:33.640 have met so many people in my life who are way older than me and 244 00:17:33.720 --> 00:17:37.160 like, no shade, okay, because we're gonna talk about a self love 245 00:17:37.200 --> 00:17:40.119 peace at the end of this, but no shade. Everyone's trying to figure 246 00:17:40.160 --> 00:17:44.759 it out. But just because people are older than you, or on paper 247 00:17:45.160 --> 00:17:48.359 they might be a little bit more successful in some areas does not mean that 248 00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:55.599 they know it all and that you should be putting them again on a pedestal 249 00:17:53.759 --> 00:18:03.480 the size of Mount Everest, Like people honestly are struggling, is all I'm 250 00:18:03.519 --> 00:18:06.680 gonna say, Like, I don't know and I have found and this is 251 00:18:07.079 --> 00:18:10.480 I'm not trying to be this like oh I know it all and like I'm 252 00:18:10.519 --> 00:18:12.640 the best. But I do actually think that you need to have that energy 253 00:18:12.680 --> 00:18:18.039 towards yourself, because why do we have none of that energy towards ourselves but 254 00:18:18.079 --> 00:18:19.319 we look at everyone else like they know it all. It's like, no, 255 00:18:19.359 --> 00:18:22.559 you know it as well. Okay, so always remind yourself of that. 256 00:18:22.599 --> 00:18:29.200 But I have met many people who are on paper, supposed to be 257 00:18:29.240 --> 00:18:32.599 wiser than me and supposed to know more than me, and they do not. 258 00:18:33.519 --> 00:18:38.119 It is very clear that I am wiser than a lot of people who 259 00:18:38.359 --> 00:18:42.880 I would have thought are kind of like should be more wiser than me because 260 00:18:42.880 --> 00:18:47.200 maybe they're older. I have met a lot of people in my life who 261 00:18:47.240 --> 00:18:52.640 are older than me, who are still operating out of a lot of trauma. 262 00:18:52.720 --> 00:18:59.359 And I am again saying this as like coming back to my own advice. 263 00:18:59.680 --> 00:19:03.119 It's everyone's on their own timeline. Okay, But the reason why I'm 264 00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:04.960 saying that is because you need to remind yourself of that and like not always 265 00:19:04.960 --> 00:19:10.640 compare yourself to even people who on paper might be more successful or older than 266 00:19:10.680 --> 00:19:15.160 you. But like, I have met people in my life who are still 267 00:19:15.200 --> 00:19:22.319 holding grudges towards their parents, who are still hating themselves, who still cannot 268 00:19:22.359 --> 00:19:30.000 accept themselves, who still completely struggle in their careers, who completely second guests, 269 00:19:30.079 --> 00:19:36.079 and who are miserable. Okay, And I am so happy that I've 270 00:19:36.119 --> 00:19:41.759 realized that because I was on a journey in my life where I was putting 271 00:19:41.799 --> 00:19:45.200 a lot of these people above me like they knew it all and that I 272 00:19:45.240 --> 00:19:49.720 should be living life the way that they are, I should be thinking the 273 00:19:49.759 --> 00:19:56.799 way that they do. But I came to a very big realization that it 274 00:19:56.839 --> 00:20:02.160 wasn't that I was wrong, but like, these people are not sometimes people 275 00:20:02.359 --> 00:20:07.160 that you want to be looking up to. And again, no judgment to 276 00:20:07.839 --> 00:20:12.400 anyone who is wherever they are in their lives, but I just I don't 277 00:20:12.440 --> 00:20:15.319 know. I guess maybe that's all I'll say with that, but it's just 278 00:20:17.000 --> 00:20:22.960 for me personally, and I am not perfect, okay, But I have 279 00:20:22.319 --> 00:20:30.319 learned how to forgive my mother for the things that she just indirectly put me 280 00:20:30.359 --> 00:20:37.240 through, and I know that it wasn't intentional. I have grieved the loss 281 00:20:37.240 --> 00:20:41.920 of my father, but I've also grieved the loss of that relationship that was 282 00:20:42.039 --> 00:20:48.319 not the healthiest. I've had to grieve the relationship of the mother daughter relationship 283 00:20:48.319 --> 00:20:52.599 that I didn't really get in my twenties because of the things that my mom 284 00:20:52.839 --> 00:20:56.279 was going through. Like, I have come a very long way and I 285 00:20:56.319 --> 00:21:04.599 don't live every single day in a lot of hate and anger and resentment. 286 00:21:06.200 --> 00:21:11.319 And I can pick up the phone with my mom and you know, obviously 287 00:21:11.319 --> 00:21:15.400 there's different evolutions of our relationship depending on what she's going through and this that, 288 00:21:15.519 --> 00:21:18.160 But at the end of the day, it's like I have decided that. 289 00:21:19.279 --> 00:21:22.200 Well, first, it's not even that I've decided. I have understood 290 00:21:23.799 --> 00:21:29.559 why life happened the way that it did for my mom, for my dad 291 00:21:29.960 --> 00:21:33.640 in my life story, and I've healed a lot from that, and I've 292 00:21:33.680 --> 00:21:37.039 really been able to understand There's been something in me from a very young age 293 00:21:37.039 --> 00:21:42.839 that just understands that people are flawed human beings and everyone is operating of different 294 00:21:42.839 --> 00:21:45.119 traumas and things like that, and that's what it is. And I have 295 00:21:45.240 --> 00:21:51.440 chosen to accept that, and it has made me a happier person. And 296 00:21:51.640 --> 00:21:53.799 I can speak to my mother on the phone, and I can go to 297 00:21:53.839 --> 00:21:57.480 sleep thinking of my dad that is no longer here in a way of like 298 00:21:59.119 --> 00:22:03.559 still having so much gratitude and love for them both and just being happy and 299 00:22:03.640 --> 00:22:07.759 not like carrying around this just anger. And I understand why people carry around 300 00:22:07.799 --> 00:22:11.680 anger and frustration for their parents and stuff like that, Like I totally get 301 00:22:11.680 --> 00:22:15.240 it. But I have come to a point in my life, being twenty 302 00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:18.599 eight years old, where I can just get on the phone my mom and 303 00:22:18.640 --> 00:22:22.240 like I'm not sitting here like miserable and complaining and getting off the phone and 304 00:22:22.279 --> 00:22:25.880 being like why isn't she doing better? Or why doesn't she have this or 305 00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:29.279 like she's like, oh, she doesn't communicate the way that I need her 306 00:22:29.319 --> 00:22:32.279 too, or whatever. The reason why I'm saying that is because there's a 307 00:22:32.359 --> 00:22:36.559 lot of people who are much much, much much much older than me who 308 00:22:36.599 --> 00:22:42.960 still really really struggle with that. And again no shade, but really can't 309 00:22:42.960 --> 00:22:45.400 get over it, is what I'm saying. They do not want to even 310 00:22:45.400 --> 00:22:49.920 get over it, like they don't want to let it go. And I 311 00:22:51.359 --> 00:22:55.720 at one point looked up to these people and really thought that they knew it 312 00:22:55.799 --> 00:23:00.759 all and they don't, and their flow lot of people as well. And 313 00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:07.640 so I just say all that to be just reminding you guys of the fact 314 00:23:07.640 --> 00:23:14.680 that you really can decide a lot for yourself in how things go in your 315 00:23:14.720 --> 00:23:17.920 life, and you do not always need to be looking outside of yourself for 316 00:23:18.319 --> 00:23:21.640 validation confirmation that you're doing the right thing, and quite frankly, if you 317 00:23:21.759 --> 00:23:25.680 do that, you might be really disappointed. And I'm happy that I've came 318 00:23:25.720 --> 00:23:29.960 to this realization because I think about this sometimes. I think about this a 319 00:23:29.960 --> 00:23:32.279 lot, actually, like recently in my life, I've really been thinking about 320 00:23:32.319 --> 00:23:37.240 this a lot, Like if I kept following in the footsteps of certain people 321 00:23:37.240 --> 00:23:40.200 in my life and putting them on these pedestals, like I feel like I'd 322 00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:44.720 be really really disappointed in the next like five years, coming to the realization 323 00:23:44.880 --> 00:23:48.480 not a lot of people don't know what the fuck's going on. Like a 324 00:23:48.480 --> 00:23:51.039 lot of people don't know what the fuck's going on. A lot of people 325 00:23:51.079 --> 00:23:56.359 are still stuck in the past. And yeah, so I don't know if 326 00:23:56.559 --> 00:24:00.160 that was good advice at all, but I just think, like it's really 327 00:24:00.200 --> 00:24:06.680 hard, I understand, especially when you are young, to instill confidence within 328 00:24:06.720 --> 00:24:10.240 yourself. But sometimes it comes to a point where you just have to decide 329 00:24:10.240 --> 00:24:14.359 that what you think is good enough, what you're doing is good enough. 330 00:24:14.720 --> 00:24:21.160 And you know, even if somebody over here is older or has more than 331 00:24:21.200 --> 00:24:23.759 you, does not mean that you are lower than them. And a lot 332 00:24:23.759 --> 00:24:29.039 of the times, honestly, that's just like not even the case. Obviously, 333 00:24:29.079 --> 00:24:32.400 you can look up to people for sure, but understand like you are 334 00:24:32.400 --> 00:24:37.240 the most important thing. Your thoughts matter, your opinions matter, your life 335 00:24:37.559 --> 00:24:42.000 journey in your lane, it actually matters, and pave that put energy and 336 00:24:42.079 --> 00:24:48.519 time into that. And when it comes to like the comparison thing and timeline, 337 00:24:48.640 --> 00:24:51.400 I'll give you a quick example. I still have to kind of work 338 00:24:51.400 --> 00:24:56.839 on this as well in my life. If you, let's say you're twenty 339 00:24:56.880 --> 00:25:00.359 four years old and you see your friends who have like really high paying jobs 340 00:25:00.519 --> 00:25:03.039 or they have relationships, and you're sitting here like, oh my god, 341 00:25:03.079 --> 00:25:04.960 like I'm still trying to figure out what i want to do with my career 342 00:25:06.039 --> 00:25:11.039 or this that it doesn't mean anything other than you're just a different person than 343 00:25:11.039 --> 00:25:15.200 them, which is what everyone is. Every single person is different. Okay. 344 00:25:15.640 --> 00:25:18.519 And even the other day, I was thinking about this because this happens 345 00:25:18.559 --> 00:25:21.720 all the time in my life and I still have to refine this and I 346 00:25:21.720 --> 00:25:25.039 still have to like remind myself of this. But one of my friends, 347 00:25:25.799 --> 00:25:30.559 she was like, do you want to come to Bahamas on like for my 348 00:25:30.640 --> 00:25:34.359 birthday? Her birthday's in September, And she had asked me basically on a 349 00:25:34.359 --> 00:25:37.839 whim, and I was actually working and I couldn't really come to decision, 350 00:25:38.480 --> 00:25:42.599 and I was kind of stressed out about it because the way she had asked 351 00:25:42.599 --> 00:25:47.519 me was very like yes or no, like can you answer? And she 352 00:25:47.599 --> 00:25:49.319 wasn't doing it like I'm not even like paiding her in a bad light or 353 00:25:49.359 --> 00:25:52.200 anything like that. She's like my best friend. So it was very much 354 00:25:52.200 --> 00:25:56.920 so best friend energy of like can you come. And also there's another girl 355 00:25:57.000 --> 00:26:02.279 who had decided that moment that she wanted to go as well. The reason 356 00:26:02.279 --> 00:26:04.960 why they're asking me kind of last minute too is because there was like I 357 00:26:04.960 --> 00:26:08.240 don't know, there was a deal going on anyways, I couldn't come to 358 00:26:08.279 --> 00:26:11.640 a decision because I was actually working. And then the next day I still 359 00:26:11.680 --> 00:26:17.000 felt very rushed, and the old version of me would have felt like I 360 00:26:17.000 --> 00:26:19.519 would have rushed myself into making a decision whether it was yes or no, 361 00:26:19.759 --> 00:26:23.039 which you don't need to do, Like you can give yourself time to think, 362 00:26:23.359 --> 00:26:27.480 and if that means that's going to disappoint people, so fucking be it. 363 00:26:27.640 --> 00:26:30.680 Like again, coming back to this energy of like you matter the most, 364 00:26:30.960 --> 00:26:34.960 the most in the least narcissistic way, You matter the most. At 365 00:26:34.960 --> 00:26:37.279 the end of the day, Okay, you have to go to sleep with 366 00:26:37.319 --> 00:26:41.519 that decision that you've made. So if you need time to think, give 367 00:26:41.559 --> 00:26:45.960 yourself time to think and do not feel bad about that. But she was 368 00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:49.599 asking me about that, and then because I know myself and I couldn't come 369 00:26:49.599 --> 00:26:52.720 to a decision, I told her, I'm like, honestly, like, 370 00:26:52.839 --> 00:26:55.240 right now, I have a bunch of other things that I need to pay 371 00:26:55.240 --> 00:27:00.160 for that are like more like I'm prioritizing more, I'm getting in viciline and 372 00:27:00.200 --> 00:27:03.759 like all these things. I have certain financial goals. And although I technically 373 00:27:03.759 --> 00:27:07.440 could come up with the money and I could find it, I know myself. 374 00:27:07.720 --> 00:27:11.200 Coming back to knowing yourself as well is very important. I know myself 375 00:27:11.400 --> 00:27:14.240 and I know it will what will stress me out and what will not, 376 00:27:14.759 --> 00:27:21.400 and certain ways I spend my money and like a certain timeline will stress me 377 00:27:21.440 --> 00:27:23.400 out. And I knew if I made that decision, it would just stress 378 00:27:23.440 --> 00:27:26.640 me out, even though I could kind of make it work. So I 379 00:27:26.720 --> 00:27:29.079 was like, I don't want to put myself in that situation, so I'm 380 00:27:29.079 --> 00:27:32.880 not doing it. So I was kind of like communicated and said, you 381 00:27:32.920 --> 00:27:36.759 know what, I don't think it's gonna make sense for me right now, 382 00:27:36.839 --> 00:27:38.799 and my friend totally was like, yeah, no problem. And then I 383 00:27:38.839 --> 00:27:41.559 was even thinking, like down the line, we'll go to a trip like 384 00:27:41.599 --> 00:27:45.079 in the winter time, and it works better for me on my timeline, 385 00:27:45.200 --> 00:27:48.079 on my freaking timeline. And but the reason why I bring this up is 386 00:27:48.079 --> 00:27:52.839 because I still felt kind of bad and I was kind of for a second 387 00:27:52.920 --> 00:27:56.000 think like comparing myself in a way. I was thinking, like, you 388 00:27:56.079 --> 00:28:02.599 should be in a position right now in your life to be saying yes to 389 00:28:02.720 --> 00:28:04.839 this as soon as she asks, Like that's kind of what I thought, 390 00:28:06.039 --> 00:28:11.279 Like that limiting thought, that doubt, that whatever kind of creeped up being 391 00:28:11.319 --> 00:28:15.720 like, oh well, just like basically I was thinking, was my friend 392 00:28:15.759 --> 00:28:18.480 is in a position to be able to say yes off the whim, just 393 00:28:18.519 --> 00:28:22.359 like that, why am I not? And I was like, hold up, 394 00:28:22.480 --> 00:28:27.319 absolutely not. You have a different timeline than her, like every single 395 00:28:27.359 --> 00:28:30.839 other person. So if you can't make it happen, you can't make it 396 00:28:30.880 --> 00:28:34.200 happen. And that's okay. You don't have to feel bad about it. 397 00:28:34.480 --> 00:28:38.079 You don't have to be like apologetic about it. You don't have to feel 398 00:28:38.119 --> 00:28:42.559 even like you are behind, because that's another thing. Sometimes when you feel 399 00:28:42.559 --> 00:28:47.319 like you can't live up or you can't like match somebody's you know, energy, 400 00:28:47.440 --> 00:28:49.279 or match somebody's whatever, they're doing on their timeline. You kind of 401 00:28:49.279 --> 00:28:52.680 feel like, oh, you're behind or whatever, and I'm sitting here like 402 00:28:52.920 --> 00:28:56.319 you're not behind at all. You're just simply on a different timeline, you 403 00:28:56.359 --> 00:29:00.519 know. And what actually works better for you is to think about when it 404 00:29:00.519 --> 00:29:03.799 comes time. Let's say this example, for a trip, it works better 405 00:29:03.799 --> 00:29:07.519 for you to go in the winter time anyways, because realistically, like I'm 406 00:29:07.559 --> 00:29:11.400 not really trying to travel, I don't really listen another thing, like a 407 00:29:11.440 --> 00:29:15.039 side note. Honestly, another side note is I'm not that big of a 408 00:29:15.039 --> 00:29:17.880 traveler to begin with. And if I'm going to travel, if I want 409 00:29:17.880 --> 00:29:19.400 to go somewhere warm, I would rather go in the wintertime. I live 410 00:29:19.440 --> 00:29:22.680 in Canada. I'd rather go in the winter time if I'm going to travel 411 00:29:23.759 --> 00:29:29.359 to like somewhere hot, than the summertime, because I don't mind the summer 412 00:29:29.359 --> 00:29:33.440 here, Like I'm good to just kind of be here, like I'll travel 413 00:29:33.680 --> 00:29:37.400 like within Canada. But whatever. And this is not to say that I 414 00:29:37.440 --> 00:29:41.119 wouldn't travel, but it just works for me better to do it that way. 415 00:29:41.200 --> 00:29:47.799 So why am I even feeling like I'm behind or feeling crap about myself 416 00:29:47.960 --> 00:29:55.440 or that I should be wanting to travel when somebody else wants to, when 417 00:29:55.480 --> 00:29:59.000 that's literally just not my timeline, and then that's not even what I want. 418 00:29:59.160 --> 00:30:03.039 I also have never really been somebody who's this big traveler, and I've 419 00:30:03.079 --> 00:30:07.599 always kind of felt bad about that because everyone says when you're in your twenties, 420 00:30:07.680 --> 00:30:11.000 especially oh, like you know, people will take time off of school 421 00:30:11.279 --> 00:30:14.039 or you know, when they're done school and they save a lot of money 422 00:30:14.039 --> 00:30:15.480 and they want to travel the world whatever. I've never been like that. 423 00:30:17.160 --> 00:30:21.319 I'm a home body through and through one of my biggest schools in my life 424 00:30:21.319 --> 00:30:22.880 that I want to accomplish, which I don't care if it sounds bad or 425 00:30:22.960 --> 00:30:26.640 not. Is I want to buy my home like I want to have my 426 00:30:26.680 --> 00:30:29.519 suburban life. I want to be grounded. I want to be in my 427 00:30:29.680 --> 00:30:33.440 home like doing the things that I want to be doing. That's different than 428 00:30:33.480 --> 00:30:34.759 a lot of other people, Like right now, there's a few of my 429 00:30:34.839 --> 00:30:38.680 friends who are definitely in the I want to travel, I want to whatever. 430 00:30:40.440 --> 00:30:41.359 But I don't have to feel bad for that, and I don't have 431 00:30:41.400 --> 00:30:48.039 to feel like I'm behind or I'm doing things wrong because I want my home 432 00:30:48.160 --> 00:30:51.359 versus me going to Europe right now, you know what I mean. But 433 00:30:51.480 --> 00:30:55.960 I have always lived my life like that. I have always lived my life 434 00:30:56.400 --> 00:31:03.039 where I've had these real, true desires deep down my goddamn heart of hearts. 435 00:31:03.079 --> 00:31:06.839 I've wanted a certain lifestyle, a certain way of living. I've wanted 436 00:31:06.839 --> 00:31:08.880 to date a certain type of person. I've wanted to live my life a 437 00:31:08.880 --> 00:31:14.640 certain way. And I've always felt like shit about that because other people weren't 438 00:31:14.680 --> 00:31:18.680 doing that, or it wasn't uplifted in society, or whatever the case is. 439 00:31:19.200 --> 00:31:22.720 And in all my years, you know, being twenty eight, now 440 00:31:22.799 --> 00:31:26.039 I've realized, no, I'm not feeling bad for a single thing anymore. 441 00:31:26.480 --> 00:31:30.039 If I want to think this way, if I want to have these certain 442 00:31:30.039 --> 00:31:33.240 beliefs, if I want to have this career, I'm doing it. And 443 00:31:33.440 --> 00:31:37.759 I do not care if somebody does not understand that. And that's another thing, 444 00:31:37.759 --> 00:31:41.240 even when it comes to my career path, I have people in my 445 00:31:41.279 --> 00:31:44.839 life who do not understand it. Quite frankly, I have people in my 446 00:31:44.880 --> 00:31:52.480 life who genuinely think that what I do as a career is not as beneficial 447 00:31:53.279 --> 00:31:59.599 as they even know. And I ask myself this, like, definitely this 448 00:31:59.720 --> 00:32:01.880 year with some of the people in my life. And by the way, 449 00:32:01.920 --> 00:32:05.079 I have a lot of people in my life who totally get what I'm doing, 450 00:32:05.240 --> 00:32:07.640 and it doesn't really even matter even if they do. But you know 451 00:32:07.640 --> 00:32:08.960 what I mean, there's a lot of people who understand what I'm doing, 452 00:32:08.960 --> 00:32:15.319 but there are people in my life who very much so side I what I 453 00:32:15.359 --> 00:32:21.039 am doing when it comes to my career, which again literally doesn't matter. 454 00:32:21.559 --> 00:32:23.000 That will never stop me, never, never, ever, but it will 455 00:32:23.039 --> 00:32:28.279 kind of make me feel like shit obviously. So there's people who will like 456 00:32:28.359 --> 00:32:30.960 sidey what I'm doing, And I'm sitting here, like, why am I 457 00:32:31.359 --> 00:32:37.599 putting these people's opinions above mine when they don't even understand the impact of what 458 00:32:37.680 --> 00:32:43.640 I'm doing? You know why? Because these people don't even understand the benefit 459 00:32:43.720 --> 00:32:47.160 of a podcast, of a YouTube channel of the things that I'm talking about. 460 00:32:47.440 --> 00:32:52.640 They don't even get it. So why am I going to take their 461 00:32:52.680 --> 00:32:55.759 opinion, which their opinion on what I'm doing is not really the best as 462 00:32:57.559 --> 00:33:01.039 something that will actually dictate whether I continue to do this career path or not. 463 00:33:02.119 --> 00:33:07.000 Like, these people just genuinely do not understand what I am doing. 464 00:33:07.920 --> 00:33:10.240 And honestly, the people who do understand what I am doing, Like, 465 00:33:10.359 --> 00:33:15.440 fully understand what I'm doing, They see the benefit, they they completely get 466 00:33:15.480 --> 00:33:20.559 it, they support me, they would ever, So just understanding in your 467 00:33:20.559 --> 00:33:25.119 life, you're gonna just have people who don't understand how you think, what 468 00:33:25.160 --> 00:33:30.039 you do for your career, who you date, what you like, how 469 00:33:30.079 --> 00:33:34.039 you think, and that is okay. Do not let them people who don't 470 00:33:34.079 --> 00:33:37.000 even understand or don't even want the same things as you to get in the 471 00:33:37.039 --> 00:33:40.599 way of where you are going in your life. And I have definitely done 472 00:33:40.599 --> 00:33:44.640 that. Now, I haven't done that in the sense of I've allowed people 473 00:33:44.720 --> 00:33:46.319 to really dictate what I do in terms of, you know, doing YouTube 474 00:33:46.400 --> 00:33:50.440 or doing whatever I want, because I've had to be somebody who from a 475 00:33:50.519 --> 00:33:53.519 very young age has gone for like I've just had to like create my own 476 00:33:53.559 --> 00:33:58.799 life based out of survival. So like, nobody's dictating what I'm doing. 477 00:33:59.079 --> 00:34:02.519 But on the back end of things, were there many years of my life 478 00:34:02.559 --> 00:34:07.559 where I felt behind or I felt like I was doing the wrong thing, 479 00:34:07.720 --> 00:34:09.920 or I was second guessing things that I was doing even though I did them. 480 00:34:10.599 --> 00:34:14.159 But did I not enjoy some of the things that I was doing because 481 00:34:14.199 --> 00:34:15.880 I was always feeling like, oh, I'm not like doing what everyone else 482 00:34:15.920 --> 00:34:19.079 is doing. Yeah, I felt like that, and I didn't need to 483 00:34:19.079 --> 00:34:22.880 feel like that. So if you're feeling in your life right now, you 484 00:34:22.920 --> 00:34:25.159 know, maybe you're gonna obviously go for your dreams, but you're gonna feel 485 00:34:25.159 --> 00:34:29.199 like crap doing it, or you're going to feel like indifferent. Stop, 486 00:34:29.719 --> 00:34:34.119 this is your life. The people who don't get you are just the people 487 00:34:34.159 --> 00:34:38.320 who do not get you. Just because somebody is doing something you know that 488 00:34:38.400 --> 00:34:45.000 you might even think is amazing, doesn't mean it's that's the only way. 489 00:34:45.039 --> 00:34:50.079 Even when it comes to beliefs, there's people who believe a whole host of 490 00:34:50.199 --> 00:34:54.159 things and their way is the right way. That does not mean that it 491 00:34:54.239 --> 00:34:59.559 needs to be your way. There's many different religions, there's many different beliefs, 492 00:34:59.599 --> 00:35:01.639 systems. The people who are moving through life saying my way is the 493 00:35:01.679 --> 00:35:06.719 only way hate to break it to you, but it's not. And the 494 00:35:06.800 --> 00:35:10.199 last thing I'll say about no longer putting people on pedestals and stuff like that 495 00:35:10.760 --> 00:35:17.199 is what has helped me is becoming the observer with people, places and things. 496 00:35:17.280 --> 00:35:22.679 So when I go out in life now and I whether it's I'm talking 497 00:35:22.679 --> 00:35:27.679 about myself or not, or I just hear people, you know, have 498 00:35:27.719 --> 00:35:31.039 their opinions on how people should think and move in their life. I basically 499 00:35:31.199 --> 00:35:38.000 just observe how they're thinking or being, but I don't take what they're thinking 500 00:35:38.159 --> 00:35:44.119 as like my truth, Like just because again somebody got a new bag or 501 00:35:44.679 --> 00:35:49.199 thinks that you should think this way, this type of religion, this belief 502 00:35:49.239 --> 00:35:52.440 system, this career path. You can just become the observer and be like, 503 00:35:52.440 --> 00:35:55.719 oh, that's really cool for them. That's really cool for them, 504 00:35:57.280 --> 00:36:00.960 but not for me. And it's not an argument. It's not even about 505 00:36:01.000 --> 00:36:06.239 like, oh I'm better than these people. Sorry, It's just I'm becoming 506 00:36:06.239 --> 00:36:12.440 the observer. Even when it comes to shiny object syndrome. Let's say you 507 00:36:12.480 --> 00:36:17.039 see people in your career field. I'll take content creation to be precise, 508 00:36:17.840 --> 00:36:22.400 there's always a new app, there's always a new editing style, there's always 509 00:36:22.440 --> 00:36:24.840 a new short form content thing to do, or that this trend to do. 510 00:36:25.440 --> 00:36:30.920 When I see those things, I just observe and I'm like, okay, 511 00:36:30.920 --> 00:36:34.320 like this content creator is doing content this way. I don't need to 512 00:36:34.400 --> 00:36:37.480 do it that way. It's just how they're doing it, you know, 513 00:36:37.119 --> 00:36:43.039 So just become the observer when it comes to like people, you know, 514 00:36:43.719 --> 00:36:45.920 buying the latest thing. Okay, that's cool. Like she got a new 515 00:36:45.920 --> 00:36:49.039 bag, that's amazing. I don't need to get that bag just because that 516 00:36:49.079 --> 00:36:52.920 person has it. I can get maybe influenced by people and stuff, but 517 00:36:52.079 --> 00:36:55.239 you can also just give yourself a second to think about these things instead of 518 00:36:55.239 --> 00:36:59.840 like doing everything off of a whim, but always just coming back to yourself. 519 00:37:00.239 --> 00:37:01.760 Okay. So the last thing that I want to talk about when it 520 00:37:01.760 --> 00:37:08.320 comes to maturing and flourishing into the woman of your dreams is loving yourself. 521 00:37:08.679 --> 00:37:14.320 I seriously don't ever. In my personal opinion, Okay, this is just 522 00:37:14.400 --> 00:37:23.039 my opinion, I don't think somebody who is flourished and mature hates themselves or 523 00:37:23.400 --> 00:37:29.320 doesn't know how to just be imperfect. Like I genuinely think that that really 524 00:37:29.320 --> 00:37:37.159 does make you grown. Okay, A grown person is not hating on themselves 525 00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:43.079 every day and you know, judging themselves, comparing themselves and just being super 526 00:37:43.119 --> 00:37:45.920 harsh. Now are we perfect? No, that is a part of the 527 00:37:45.920 --> 00:37:50.800 self love peace. Okay. So yes, there's gonna be times where you 528 00:37:50.880 --> 00:37:54.199 are mature and you're grown and you're the woman of your dreams and you still 529 00:37:54.320 --> 00:37:58.400 judge yourself and you still get down on yourself and you kind of like struggle 530 00:37:58.400 --> 00:38:00.400 with self love. Okay, like yes, but the the day, like 531 00:38:00.599 --> 00:38:06.199 I just I think that this is such a huge piece as to why I 532 00:38:06.239 --> 00:38:08.960 can look in the mirror and be like, damn, I have matured, 533 00:38:09.039 --> 00:38:15.000 I have grown. I love myself is because I love myself. And I'll 534 00:38:15.039 --> 00:38:16.480 give you a little bit of an example. And I talk about self love 535 00:38:16.559 --> 00:38:22.519 all the time. I think that this is like the This is like the 536 00:38:22.599 --> 00:38:28.440 root of what I'm always talking about when it comes to the glow up journey. 537 00:38:28.679 --> 00:38:30.360 I talk about it in my book The Ultimate Glow Up Guide. This 538 00:38:30.480 --> 00:38:34.760 is the thing that I have that has really just transformed my life is understanding, 539 00:38:34.760 --> 00:38:37.239 like damn, I don't have to be perfect, understanding why I even 540 00:38:37.280 --> 00:38:40.360 hated myself in the first place. Just really learning how to unconditionally love myself. 541 00:38:40.400 --> 00:38:44.480 That really just changed everything for me because I was able to get out 542 00:38:44.519 --> 00:38:47.119 of my own way when I didn't do something perfect, when I didn't have 543 00:38:47.159 --> 00:38:51.519 the most perfect day, I didn't spiral into that. I stopped story I 544 00:38:51.559 --> 00:38:54.920 should say I should I stopped spiraling into those days and realize it's okay. 545 00:38:55.159 --> 00:38:58.840 I can have flaws. I'm not gonna have the best day. I can 546 00:38:58.880 --> 00:39:00.480 turn this around. I don't have to be perfect. I can still do 547 00:39:00.519 --> 00:39:04.280 it even if I'm feeling like shit. All that kind of stuff has really 548 00:39:04.320 --> 00:39:07.199 really helped me be able to go for my dreams. Like I even think 549 00:39:07.199 --> 00:39:14.000 of this when it comes to content, Like I had to be okay with 550 00:39:14.480 --> 00:39:17.800 being imperfect. I had to be okay with being nervous on camera or not 551 00:39:17.880 --> 00:39:22.159 saying all the proper words. I still don't say the proper words. I 552 00:39:22.159 --> 00:39:24.159 still mess up some of the things that I'm saying. I still sometimes get 553 00:39:24.199 --> 00:39:29.039 in my but like, I don't let that get in the way of me 554 00:39:29.400 --> 00:39:32.079 living my life. You don't need to you don't have to be perfect. 555 00:39:32.119 --> 00:39:38.599 It's literally like it just doesn't even exist anyways. So yesterday I went to 556 00:39:38.679 --> 00:39:42.800 yoga for the first time in like a week and a half, hot yoga 557 00:39:43.199 --> 00:39:45.880 because I was sick, and God did it feel It was hard. It 558 00:39:45.920 --> 00:39:52.119 was really hard to go. Okay, but I went. And I don't 559 00:39:52.280 --> 00:39:58.400 usually have many bad body image days because I have worked really hard on this 560 00:39:58.519 --> 00:40:02.199 self acceptance and love peace that I don't really have bad days when it comes 561 00:40:02.239 --> 00:40:07.000 to my body image Because when I look in the mirror and let's say I'm 562 00:40:07.000 --> 00:40:10.480 not like loving something, I don't hyperfixate on it and I don't spiral about 563 00:40:10.519 --> 00:40:13.679 it because I just accept it for what it is. Like if I look 564 00:40:13.679 --> 00:40:15.840 in the mirror and I'm like, oh, like I don't look like that 565 00:40:15.039 --> 00:40:21.039 toned or whatever, I'm fine, Like it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter 566 00:40:21.079 --> 00:40:23.519 that my body doesn't look super toned that day, or it doesn't matter that 567 00:40:23.559 --> 00:40:27.079 my body like I don't really love the way that my body looks in that 568 00:40:27.159 --> 00:40:31.320 outfit or that. Like I don't really have those standards really, So that's 569 00:40:31.320 --> 00:40:36.599 why I don't really have body bad body image days. I have really just 570 00:40:36.840 --> 00:40:40.280 dropped those the the incessant need to have like this perfect body. So like 571 00:40:40.280 --> 00:40:47.079 obviously don't really struggle with that. But obviously there's like certain ways that you 572 00:40:47.519 --> 00:40:51.440 like the way that your body looks, right, like whether that's in your 573 00:40:51.440 --> 00:40:54.800 gym clothes or a certain outfit, Like we all have a certain way that 574 00:40:54.840 --> 00:41:00.400 we probably prefer our bodies to look. Now, again, I'm not necessarcessarily 575 00:41:00.400 --> 00:41:05.840 like hyper focus on that, but in the or in the class, I 576 00:41:05.920 --> 00:41:10.639 was looking at my body and maybe this was there was a host of reasons. 577 00:41:10.679 --> 00:41:14.360 Probably why my mind was set was like this. First of all, 578 00:41:14.360 --> 00:41:16.920 I was like not in a good mood in general. I hadn't been to 579 00:41:17.039 --> 00:41:22.079 yoga or I hadn't moved my body in a while. And the shorts that 580 00:41:22.119 --> 00:41:30.760 I was wearing it just didn't make my hips like look the way that I 581 00:41:30.760 --> 00:41:32.440 don't even know like they're supposed to look. They're like, how are they 582 00:41:32.440 --> 00:41:37.199 supposed to look? Whatever? It just like the fabric wasn't sitting on my 583 00:41:37.280 --> 00:41:40.800 body the way that I usually like see my body, and so I was 584 00:41:40.880 --> 00:41:45.760 kind of like looking at myself in the mirror just being kind of a little 585 00:41:45.760 --> 00:41:46.960 bit critical on myself, being like, oh, like I don't really like 586 00:41:47.039 --> 00:41:51.920 this, and trying to like move my shorts the way that it was and 587 00:41:51.960 --> 00:41:53.599 this that, and I was like, Okay, this is the time right 588 00:41:53.599 --> 00:41:57.239 now for me to tap into what I know is true about me, which 589 00:41:57.320 --> 00:42:00.960 is I can love myself through this right now and it doesn't matter. Okay, 590 00:42:01.000 --> 00:42:05.599 it does not matter, and it's okay. So it wasn't that I 591 00:42:05.639 --> 00:42:07.480 was trying to ignore the fact that I didn't like the way that my body 592 00:42:07.519 --> 00:42:09.800 looked. I looked in the mirror and I was like, I don't like 593 00:42:09.840 --> 00:42:13.000 the way that that looks. I just don't like the way that that's like. 594 00:42:13.280 --> 00:42:15.400 The math is not mathing with that, and I don't really like that. 595 00:42:15.960 --> 00:42:17.519 But I was like, you know what, I can do yoga right 596 00:42:17.559 --> 00:42:21.679 now, and I can be in this class filled of people who might be 597 00:42:21.679 --> 00:42:24.480 looking at my body, probably not probably don't care because they're looking at themselves. 598 00:42:25.320 --> 00:42:30.440 I can be here right now in this flawed in my mind, in 599 00:42:30.480 --> 00:42:35.760 that moment, this flawed human being of a body right now, and it's 600 00:42:35.800 --> 00:42:40.320 totally fine. Everything is okay. I do not need to feel like my 601 00:42:40.360 --> 00:42:45.079 body is looking perfect right now. It doesn't matter. It literally does not 602 00:42:45.239 --> 00:42:50.239 matter. And I think sometimes like we can't have a good day if we 603 00:42:50.280 --> 00:42:52.480 look in the mirror and we see that our body is not the way that 604 00:42:52.519 --> 00:42:57.400 we want it to be. But what I have learned and how I've matured 605 00:42:57.599 --> 00:43:02.440 is being okay with seeing what's in the mirror and it not being like exactly 606 00:43:02.480 --> 00:43:07.079 the way that I want. And I think sometimes we have learned to only 607 00:43:07.119 --> 00:43:10.079 love ourselves when our bodies look a certain way, like when my body's looking 608 00:43:10.119 --> 00:43:15.480 snatched, or when my skin is clear, or when my hair is popping, 609 00:43:15.920 --> 00:43:17.599 But what about the days where your hair doesn't look the best, or 610 00:43:17.639 --> 00:43:21.920 you have breakouts, or your body for some reason is not looking the way 611 00:43:21.920 --> 00:43:24.280 that you want it to look. Can you be okay with that? That's 612 00:43:24.320 --> 00:43:28.719 what self love really is. That is what unconditional love is. Is understanding 613 00:43:28.719 --> 00:43:31.639 there's gonna be days in times where you make mistakes, where you don't look 614 00:43:31.679 --> 00:43:36.159 perfect. Can you be okay with that? Can you look at yourself in 615 00:43:36.159 --> 00:43:38.639 the mirror and be like, yep, I'm not looking the best today, 616 00:43:38.719 --> 00:43:43.519 And I know like some people will be like, oh, you should always 617 00:43:43.559 --> 00:43:45.239 look in the mirror and just like really love every part of you and stuff. 618 00:43:45.239 --> 00:43:49.119 But that's not real self love. That's not real unconditional love. That's 619 00:43:49.119 --> 00:43:53.440 not what it is. Unconditional love and acceptance for yourself is being real with 620 00:43:53.480 --> 00:43:57.920 yourself and being like, yeah, today do not I don't feel like I 621 00:43:57.960 --> 00:44:00.440 look the best, And that's also okay. Now, of course you can 622 00:44:00.480 --> 00:44:05.800 look in the mirror and be like, I look perfect, even if you 623 00:44:05.840 --> 00:44:08.119 look different than how you usually look like you could do that, but also 624 00:44:08.159 --> 00:44:10.519 you don't have to, like you can just totally be okay with it, 625 00:44:10.559 --> 00:44:16.559 like it's fine that you don't look how you normally look like snatch, or 626 00:44:17.639 --> 00:44:21.519 even when it comes to yeah, making mistakes or having a bad day, 627 00:44:21.639 --> 00:44:25.239 it's fine. It's not the end of the world, like we demonize so 628 00:44:25.400 --> 00:44:30.920 much sometimes when we have these imperfect days, and I think somebody who is 629 00:44:30.960 --> 00:44:36.320 mature understands that it's okay to have those days. You haven't ruined anything. 630 00:44:37.079 --> 00:44:42.519 You have not ruined anything. And I think that having that mindset allows you 631 00:44:42.599 --> 00:44:45.199 to get back up, It allows you to have a better body day or 632 00:44:45.239 --> 00:44:49.599 body image day. Like when I accepted that, yeah, okay, you 633 00:44:49.599 --> 00:44:51.599 know what, today is not going to be the day that I love the 634 00:44:51.840 --> 00:44:58.559 way that I look in the mirror. That negative shit, that's not even 635 00:44:58.599 --> 00:45:02.719 like serving me. Those thoughts just passed by the end of class. I 636 00:45:02.719 --> 00:45:06.880 didn't give a fuck. I didn't care. I wasn't like sitting here and 637 00:45:06.920 --> 00:45:08.519 being like, oh my god, like why like why and going into this 638 00:45:08.599 --> 00:45:10.960 spiral of like, oh my god, I need to work out more, 639 00:45:12.199 --> 00:45:15.519 or oh my God, like I let myself go, or oh my god, 640 00:45:15.559 --> 00:45:17.840 this that right when you can look in the mirror and be like, 641 00:45:19.039 --> 00:45:22.880 yep, my body doesn't look the best today, that's okay, or yep, 642 00:45:22.920 --> 00:45:24.960 I made a mistake. That's fine. When you can accept that, 643 00:45:25.719 --> 00:45:30.840 you will you will not tend to spiral even more. Right, because when 644 00:45:30.840 --> 00:45:34.960 we, let's say, think that we've made a bad decision, wrong decision, 645 00:45:35.239 --> 00:45:37.679 our bodies don't look the best whatever, we try to fix it, 646 00:45:38.000 --> 00:45:39.480 right, we're like, oh my god, I need to go to the 647 00:45:39.480 --> 00:45:42.719 gym, I need to start this diet, and we just stress ourselves out 648 00:45:42.719 --> 00:45:45.119 more and then we feel like shit about ourselves until we fix it. We 649 00:45:45.119 --> 00:45:50.880 don't need to do that. You completely can just skip that fucking step completely 650 00:45:51.280 --> 00:45:53.920 by just accepting what you see in the mirror and watch you will change your 651 00:45:54.320 --> 00:45:58.119 mindset about that. The whole entire thing will change and you go back to 652 00:45:58.360 --> 00:46:01.719 being whoever the fuck you are. Like, there was no need for me 653 00:46:01.920 --> 00:46:05.000 to be like, oh I need to start a diet or I need to 654 00:46:05.039 --> 00:46:07.760 like change the way. I didn't need to do any of that. And 655 00:46:07.800 --> 00:46:10.679 what I told myself in the moment was, you know what these days happen, 656 00:46:10.760 --> 00:46:14.519 Okay, not every single day You're gonna look in the mirror and be 657 00:46:14.599 --> 00:46:19.719 completely like so obsessed, And that is totally fine. I told myself too 658 00:46:19.920 --> 00:46:23.079 that there's just you know, there's seasons of life. Sometimes if I'm not 659 00:46:23.239 --> 00:46:28.559 tan, I don't look that toned. So that's fine, Like it's not 660 00:46:28.599 --> 00:46:30.719 that big of a deal, Like I don't need to I don't need to 661 00:46:30.719 --> 00:46:32.719 get so mad at myself because like you know what I mean, like look 662 00:46:32.760 --> 00:46:38.079 at everything that I've done, as like I haven't been doing enough just because 663 00:46:38.079 --> 00:46:42.199 I don't like what I see in the mirror that day. I don't need 664 00:46:42.199 --> 00:46:45.239 to go to these extremes. I don't need to rebrand my entire life. 665 00:46:45.559 --> 00:46:50.199 There's just gonna be days where yeah, maybe like I'm on my period or 666 00:46:50.320 --> 00:46:52.480 I'm going through a certain phase in my cycle where yeah I don't have the 667 00:46:52.480 --> 00:46:58.039 best thoughts, or maybe I didn't get enough sleep okay, or maybe I 668 00:46:58.079 --> 00:47:00.480 haven't been to yoga and a week and a half and I haven't seen my 669 00:47:00.519 --> 00:47:05.719 body, or I just haven't felt like I've been on my shit. So 670 00:47:05.880 --> 00:47:09.320 yeah, no wonder I'm not going to feel like the most glowed up version 671 00:47:09.360 --> 00:47:14.199 of myself. So relax, Like you don't need to go into this energy 672 00:47:14.199 --> 00:47:15.920 of you need to rebrand your life and until then you're just like this piece 673 00:47:15.920 --> 00:47:21.679 of shit person and your body is not good and this that or again when 674 00:47:21.679 --> 00:47:24.559 you make a mistake, a quote unquote mistake, or you didn't have the 675 00:47:24.559 --> 00:47:29.760 most perfect day, it's not a big deal. Like, it's actually not 676 00:47:29.880 --> 00:47:31.400 a big deal. And I always think about, you know, when I 677 00:47:31.559 --> 00:47:36.360 have children, how do I want to treat them? And how do I 678 00:47:36.400 --> 00:47:38.519 want to teach them love for themselves? But how do I also want to 679 00:47:38.519 --> 00:47:43.599 love them. I don't want them to feel on the days where they didn't 680 00:47:43.599 --> 00:47:47.119 have the most perfect sleep or the you know, they didn't get an answer 681 00:47:47.199 --> 00:47:50.719 right on a test, Like I don't want them to feel like a piece 682 00:47:50.719 --> 00:47:54.480 of shit about themselves until they fix it. Like this is not to mean 683 00:47:54.519 --> 00:47:59.159 that we can't work on ourselves, but we can work on ourselves from a 684 00:47:59.199 --> 00:48:02.920 place of self love an acceptance. And I promise you you are going to 685 00:48:04.000 --> 00:48:07.920 have better results in your life and transform in your life if you have this 686 00:48:08.039 --> 00:48:15.159 level of compassion and love for yourself on the journey of you making it right, 687 00:48:15.639 --> 00:48:19.679 on the journey of you hitting those goals in the gym. Okay. 688 00:48:20.119 --> 00:48:27.159 So I just think that that is something that is the most important when it 689 00:48:27.199 --> 00:48:32.519 comes to maturing and growing up, is to accept yourself for all of your 690 00:48:32.559 --> 00:48:37.280 flaws, all of the mistakes, all of the whatever, not even looking 691 00:48:37.320 --> 00:48:38.800 at things as mistakes. But yes, we can look at things and mistakes. 692 00:48:38.840 --> 00:48:42.719 And actually, I found this Pinterest quote that I want to read to 693 00:48:42.760 --> 00:48:46.440 you that really just encompasses something like, not something, but the way that 694 00:48:46.519 --> 00:48:51.960 I think. And it says being hot, cool, et cetera. And 695 00:48:52.000 --> 00:48:54.880 we can add in the word mature. So being mature, hot, cool, 696 00:48:54.880 --> 00:48:59.559 et cetera is about realizing that there are no rules. And when you 697 00:48:59.599 --> 00:49:01.719 realize that there's no rules, you do what you feel like doing and you 698 00:49:01.719 --> 00:49:06.440 don't think about it too much. Also, don't be afraid of looking silly. 699 00:49:06.599 --> 00:49:08.880 Just love and embrace your current self and cherish it and give it a 700 00:49:08.920 --> 00:49:14.400 good time. And this is just like this just to me is like what 701 00:49:14.480 --> 00:49:20.639 a'm mature, flourished person that just is confident and really owns their life and 702 00:49:20.679 --> 00:49:24.159 theirselves and just loves life. Is somebody who realizes there's no fucking rules. 703 00:49:24.159 --> 00:49:28.519 I make the rules. Okay, I make the rules. What I say 704 00:49:28.559 --> 00:49:31.199 goes, my opinion matters. I'm gonna stay in my own line. I'm 705 00:49:31.199 --> 00:49:37.480 gonna choose to do what I want in the most loving, most respectful way 706 00:49:37.480 --> 00:49:40.079 to other people. This is not about being a narcissist, because I feel 707 00:49:40.119 --> 00:49:43.119 like when you talk like this, people are like, oh, you're being 708 00:49:43.119 --> 00:49:46.159 a narcissist, You're being selfish. No, no, no, okay, 709 00:49:46.239 --> 00:49:51.079 you're just owning yourself and who you are. You make the rules, and 710 00:49:51.920 --> 00:49:53.559 you do what you feel like doing, and you stop second guessing yourself, 711 00:49:53.559 --> 00:50:00.320 and you stop putting all of these these like standards and rules and these high 712 00:50:00.320 --> 00:50:07.960 expectations and constantly nitpicking yourself and really like putting limitations on yourself. Allow yourself 713 00:50:07.960 --> 00:50:13.880 to mess up, allow yourself to be that person in the room where yeah, 714 00:50:13.960 --> 00:50:16.360 you maybe said the wrong thing, or not even saying the wrong thing, 715 00:50:16.440 --> 00:50:21.159 Like you you're the only person that thinks that you're saying the wrong thing. 716 00:50:21.199 --> 00:50:22.079 You know, as long as you like if you're telling yourself that, 717 00:50:22.119 --> 00:50:28.599 you know what I mean. Anyways, I just think that being okay with 718 00:50:28.719 --> 00:50:36.559 yourself and allowing yourself to have flaws is honestly, in my personal opinion, 719 00:50:37.239 --> 00:50:40.480 very attractive. I think that people want to be around you more. I 720 00:50:40.559 --> 00:50:46.320 think that you also indirectly give people permission to be themselves, which is what 721 00:50:46.360 --> 00:50:52.079 we are all dying to be. I promise you this. Okay, everyone 722 00:50:52.280 --> 00:50:59.320 is just waiting for permission. Everyone is just waiting to just drop the veil, 723 00:50:59.559 --> 00:51:04.800 to drop the mask of like trying to be someone that they're not. 724 00:51:05.320 --> 00:51:07.480 There's so many people And I even think about this when it comes to like 725 00:51:07.519 --> 00:51:14.320 behind closed doors being a content creator and meeting people in a real life things 726 00:51:14.320 --> 00:51:20.079 of that nature. Like people are a lot different on social media than they 727 00:51:20.119 --> 00:51:22.840 are in real life. Not everyone all the time, but there definitely are. 728 00:51:23.039 --> 00:51:27.719 And obviously, like even myself, I'm a little bit different in real 729 00:51:27.760 --> 00:51:31.159 life because there's just things that I don't share online. But one thing I 730 00:51:31.199 --> 00:51:36.760 did want to be and do and create for my presence online is being the 731 00:51:36.760 --> 00:51:40.119 most authentic version of myself because I know that that's what people want. I 732 00:51:40.239 --> 00:51:45.639 know that that's what people want because I want that, and I want the 733 00:51:45.679 --> 00:51:51.760 same quality of real conversations and realness that I have in my own life to 734 00:51:51.840 --> 00:51:57.599 be reflected on camera and to have people feel a sense of they can be 735 00:51:57.639 --> 00:52:00.599 themselves and they can just own themselves and be whoever they want to be, 736 00:52:00.599 --> 00:52:06.800 because I feel like, genuinely people are craving that people are craving permission to 737 00:52:06.840 --> 00:52:12.360 just be themselves, and I feel like online you're like we're constantly looking for 738 00:52:12.400 --> 00:52:15.000 that, but there's gonna be a lot of people who won't give you that 739 00:52:15.199 --> 00:52:20.159 permission because they're either on their own lane, they're doing their own thing, 740 00:52:20.199 --> 00:52:23.079 but also a lot of people don't even know how to give it to themselves. 741 00:52:23.320 --> 00:52:29.559 And I think the reason why people like me not to make it about 742 00:52:29.559 --> 00:52:34.719 myself. But I do think the reason why a lot of people like being 743 00:52:34.719 --> 00:52:39.880 around me in my personal life is and they say this is that they feel 744 00:52:39.960 --> 00:52:44.079 like they can be themselves around me, and that like, I'm not judging 745 00:52:44.119 --> 00:52:49.840 and I'm not like holding this high expectation of them or anything like that. 746 00:52:50.079 --> 00:52:54.480 And I know that the reason why that translates to other people is because I 747 00:52:54.519 --> 00:53:00.599 have that energy towards myself. I've learned how to love and accept myself and 748 00:53:00.639 --> 00:53:06.199 my flaws. I have learned how to just be real with myself, and 749 00:53:06.239 --> 00:53:08.840 that reflects in conversations that I have with people, and people feel seen and 750 00:53:08.880 --> 00:53:13.880 heard, and people feel like they can be themselves because I'm being real, 751 00:53:14.159 --> 00:53:17.199 I guess, and I'm assuming that's why some people like my content. But 752 00:53:17.239 --> 00:53:20.920 I'm not gonna be everyone's cup of teine. I also know that, and 753 00:53:20.960 --> 00:53:25.039 that's totally fine, and I think that we should just start being more real 754 00:53:25.119 --> 00:53:29.159 with that and just owning who it is that we want to be in our 755 00:53:29.280 --> 00:53:31.719 lives, Like what do you like in your life, how do you want 756 00:53:31.760 --> 00:53:35.239 to think, how do you want to dress, how do you want to 757 00:53:35.280 --> 00:53:38.719 move in your life? Be shameless about it? And I know it's so 758 00:53:38.920 --> 00:53:44.360 hard because there's so many people who pass judgment or they have their own opinions, 759 00:53:44.400 --> 00:53:46.840 but who cares. At the end of the day, you have to 760 00:53:46.880 --> 00:53:52.519 go to sleep with yourself, okay, So you make decisions for yourself. 761 00:53:52.159 --> 00:53:55.199 You own who you are. Not everyone's gonna like it, and that's totally 762 00:53:55.280 --> 00:54:00.320 fine. Nobody not. Everyone needs to understand you. And I think about 763 00:54:00.320 --> 00:54:02.000 this when it comes to being contact or not. Everyone needs to understand what 764 00:54:02.079 --> 00:54:06.440 I am doing, how I am doing it, why I'm even doing it. 765 00:54:06.679 --> 00:54:09.119 People don't even need to believe the same things that I do. There's 766 00:54:09.159 --> 00:54:14.880 some people who don't like my book, and that's okay. At first, 767 00:54:14.960 --> 00:54:16.599 I was like, you know, like that stings a little bit, you 768 00:54:16.599 --> 00:54:21.519 know, it's like, what the heck, But it's fine. Just because 769 00:54:21.519 --> 00:54:24.320 somebody doesn't understand my book or they don't like it, or they don't like 770 00:54:24.360 --> 00:54:28.320 my content or they don't like me for whatever reason. It doesn't it literally 771 00:54:28.320 --> 00:54:31.880 has nothing to do with me. But we make it all about ourselves, 772 00:54:31.880 --> 00:54:35.840 like we make it the most big thing. It's like, oh my god, 773 00:54:35.880 --> 00:54:38.000 I should change this about myself. I'm not a good person or I'm 774 00:54:38.079 --> 00:54:40.760 doing it the wrong way. You're not You're not. You're not, You're 775 00:54:40.800 --> 00:54:44.679 not. And that is the biggest lesson that I have learned out of all 776 00:54:44.719 --> 00:54:50.039 of my years is there's just gonna be people who don't get it. But 777 00:54:50.119 --> 00:54:54.159 that's fine. Okay. So with that said, I hope you guys enjoyed 778 00:54:54.159 --> 00:54:58.119 this episode. It was kind of everywhere because I just wanted to talk about 779 00:54:58.159 --> 00:55:00.039 a few things. I think those are just definitely things that I can look 780 00:55:00.079 --> 00:55:02.920 in the mirror and be like, yeah, I'm mature. Yeah, I 781 00:55:04.000 --> 00:55:07.159 flourish into the person of the woman of my dreams because I feel like I 782 00:55:07.199 --> 00:55:13.199 accept myself. I love myself. I'm okay with imperfect days. I am 783 00:55:13.280 --> 00:55:19.360 not stressing myself out all the time to be this picture perfect version of myself 784 00:55:19.360 --> 00:55:21.800 because it doesn't exist. I think the things that I talk about in my 785 00:55:21.840 --> 00:55:25.840 book have really helped me be able to understand why I even hated myself in 786 00:55:25.880 --> 00:55:29.679 the first place and why I had those standards. So definitely check out my 787 00:55:29.679 --> 00:55:31.039 book The Ultimate Glow Up Guy, which will be linked down below. You 788 00:55:31.079 --> 00:55:34.639 can get them at your bookstores if you're interested and you haven't gotten it. 789 00:55:35.440 --> 00:55:39.119 Also, just understanding that people who are older than me don't know it all, 790 00:55:39.320 --> 00:55:43.440 even people who are younger than me don't know it all. People who 791 00:55:43.880 --> 00:55:47.079 have success just because they have success doesn't mean that what I'm doing is not 792 00:55:47.199 --> 00:55:52.360 right. And making sure to have healthy boundaries by genuinely just having a vision 793 00:55:52.440 --> 00:56:00.079 in goals for myself have really helped me just be very proud of being who 794 00:56:00.119 --> 00:56:02.840 I am at twenty eight years old, even though last week I was dragging 795 00:56:02.840 --> 00:56:08.159 myself. Okay, So I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode. One last 796 00:56:08.159 --> 00:56:13.000 thing about my book. If you guys read my book and you enjoyed it, 797 00:56:13.079 --> 00:56:15.480 I would love it. I would literally be so grateful if you guys 798 00:56:15.480 --> 00:56:19.920 could go onto good Reads, which I'll have the link down below, where 799 00:56:19.960 --> 00:56:23.960 you can leave a review and a star review if you enjoyed it. Even 800 00:56:23.960 --> 00:56:27.880 if you don't want to write anything, just leaving like a star review would 801 00:56:27.880 --> 00:56:30.880 be really really great. I want to get those stars up a little bit 802 00:56:30.880 --> 00:56:34.719 more. Listen good Reads, girlies, some of them will come for your 803 00:56:34.760 --> 00:56:43.280 neck. Okay, some of the what's it called reviews that are not necessarily 804 00:56:43.320 --> 00:56:45.039 the most favorable of my book, which is totally fine, Like everyone's gonna 805 00:56:45.039 --> 00:56:49.360 have their opinion. I think my book is amazing. Definitely, some of 806 00:56:49.360 --> 00:56:53.639 those reviews were outside of the girlies. They were outside of the community. 807 00:56:53.679 --> 00:56:59.079 They definitely did not that book touched people outside of my community, is what 808 00:56:59.119 --> 00:57:05.039 I'm going to say, which obviously reflects bringing down the star reviews a little 809 00:57:05.039 --> 00:57:07.719 bit. So I'm just saying that because I want the girls who do love 810 00:57:07.760 --> 00:57:12.679 my book. If you guys could go leave a review, that'd be amazing, 811 00:57:12.679 --> 00:57:14.920 because I really want this book to get out to more people, because 812 00:57:14.960 --> 00:57:19.199 I think it's a unique story and I think that we are unique and very 813 00:57:19.280 --> 00:57:22.320 niche. But there are so many people who are struggling with glowing up and 814 00:57:22.800 --> 00:57:31.400 self sabotage and understanding this consistent falling into unfavorable patterns in their lives. And 815 00:57:31.440 --> 00:57:35.199 I think that I really shed light on, you know, getting to that 816 00:57:35.280 --> 00:57:37.679 route, and I really want other people to see that as well. So 817 00:57:37.719 --> 00:57:39.400 if you could leave a review, that'd be great. If you obviously read 818 00:57:39.440 --> 00:57:44.760 my book, I really really appreciate all of you guys who are constantly supporting, 819 00:57:44.960 --> 00:57:49.199 leaving comments, leaving reviews on the podcast. If you read my book 820 00:57:49.280 --> 00:57:54.480 like you guys, you like guys, I journal about you guys so much 821 00:57:54.480 --> 00:57:58.159 that you would be a little bit like I don't know if you'd be weirded 822 00:57:58.239 --> 00:58:01.719 out, But I am just very very grateful for the support and the ride 823 00:58:01.760 --> 00:58:06.519 or diet energy that you guys have for me, for the podcast, for 824 00:58:06.639 --> 00:58:10.199 this community that we have built. And I just think that the energy that 825 00:58:10.239 --> 00:58:13.920 you guys give to me, the love that you guys give to me, 826 00:58:14.159 --> 00:58:19.039 the support and the showing up for your guys' selves as well, like obviously 827 00:58:19.159 --> 00:58:22.800 using my advice and everything like that. It just is like a positive feedback 828 00:58:22.880 --> 00:58:27.159 loop. It gives me energy and I can give it out to you guys, 829 00:58:27.199 --> 00:58:30.119 and then that leads to touching other people's lives. So I want you 830 00:58:30.159 --> 00:58:35.719 guys to know that the women and even men who are in this community and 831 00:58:35.760 --> 00:58:40.360 who listen to my podcast, you showing up and like showing up for yourself 832 00:58:40.360 --> 00:58:46.079 and also giving me love directly impacts the person across the world that you will 833 00:58:46.079 --> 00:58:50.119 never even meet in your lifetime. You just need to know that, Okay, 834 00:58:50.440 --> 00:58:54.719 Like you showing up and just being on this journey, this goo up 835 00:58:54.800 --> 00:58:59.440 journey is touching other people's lives, even if you do not ever see it 836 00:58:59.440 --> 00:59:01.360 and know it. And I want you to remind yourself of that. And 837 00:59:01.360 --> 00:59:05.440 I have to remind myself of that as well. Like I see the views, 838 00:59:05.599 --> 00:59:07.119 I see the back end, I see the downloads, I see these 839 00:59:07.239 --> 00:59:13.960 crazy accomplishments that I've had over the years, But obviously I don't see every 840 00:59:14.000 --> 00:59:16.079 single person's face, you know, and I never will. Like there's so 841 00:59:16.079 --> 00:59:19.679 many people that just never will. There's silent listeners, there's everything. So 842 00:59:19.719 --> 00:59:21.760 I have to remind myself of that. And I'm grateful for you guys, 843 00:59:21.800 --> 00:59:24.639 but also be grateful for yourselves and understand that you are touching lies just by 844 00:59:24.679 --> 00:59:29.519 showing up and listening to my podcast and supporting and sending love to me. 845 00:59:29.559 --> 00:59:31.400 You guys are just so amazing and beautiful and I love you guys. Okay, 846 00:59:31.599 --> 00:59:36.039 So with that said, I will talk to you guys next Monday. 847 00:59:36.079 --> 00:59:37.920 I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode, and I'll see you in the next 848 00:59:37.960 --> 00:59:38.719 one. Bye,