What's up? Everybody? Welcome to Rose Pricks. We're talking vander Pump rules.
And I'm riled up and I blame you why because I wasn't even watching
this stupid show until you were like, you have to watch it. You
have to, you have to, you have to. And now I'm watching
it and I'm mad all like through the whole episode, I'm like, and
fuck this bitch, and what right? Like I'm so mad the whole time.
I'm sorry, there's not a lot of heroes here and can I can
I make a macro note? And I note later, but this is a
big macro note. What the fuck is wrong with Tom Schwartz that he doesn't
know how to pronounce Arianna? Her name is Arianna, It's not Arianna.
It would be that it would be like someone know, it'd be like you
calling me Cicily all this time, right, Like if we were in a
friend group and we did a TV show together and we filmed day after day
and our partners were like best friends, and and you just called me Cicily,
And I was just like, why does Arianna not say something? I
mean, maybe because because if you live in New York, the pronunciation I
could see it being like Arianna, but it is not Ariana. Oh yeah,
well no, I think if you were in New York, wouldn't it
be Ariana Ariana Arianna? But Schwartz isn't from New York. That's what I'm
saying. He has no excuse why, Like, why doesn't she say if
you and I did a TV show together for twelve years, right, and
we like and my best and I was partners for eleven years with your best
with your best friend, and you still called me Cicily, I ortet like
Leslie. I mean, that's just so crazy to me. I mean,
I know that's Leslie's not but Sicily is the same because it's just one letter
off Ariana. Yeah. I think that part of the problem. And like
people don't come for me, I think part of the problem. I don't
think Tom Schwartz is very smart. Oh, I don't think anyone's going to
come for you on that, just in case, Just in case, What
a weird hill to die on if somebody did what He's so smart, he's
so so dumb. I can't even I don't know how he gets through life.
He just really seems so dumb. There are times when I look at
his face, especially later in the episode when Joe dyed his hair like bleached
his hair, which is or kind of genius, kind of genius on Joe's
part, like she wants him first, like let's make him as unattractive as
posts. But there was a look on his face where he looked like Crispin
Glover, you know, like Kristin Glover in you know, Yeah, it's
his mouth or something, and like in Back to the Future where he's confused,
like a very confused Yes, yes, his mouth's always op's just a
mouth breather and i've always is coming from someone who likes shworts sort of,
but he's so dumb. Okay, yeah, it's it's it's bad. But
don't think we're not coming for Sandaval because the episode opens with him complaining again
about arian and he's like, oh, she's got a real reckoning calling to
her. She doesn't even know how to buy pins. Oh my, now
he's being an asshole. Yeah, okay, so you you you fucked her
best friend for a year, But okay, you also make sure they're dura
cells. How will she survive? She's just I'm just saying, like Arianna's
just really like she just doesn't know how to buy like paper towels. Oh
okay, Sandaval, you won that argument. You're the best one. She's
the idiot. He's doing everything he can to make her look bad, including
like openly talking about how she she He says, we don't know if it's
true, but he says she threatened suicide when he tried to break up with
her. What a shitty thing to say on camera. What a piece of
shit. He's absolutely horrible. But yet still, Okay, these bitches are
still not sticking up for her. There they pretended to in one scene.
Let's let's make her week. Yeah, let's get into it. Okay,
So Sandabell is sitting on Rando's I just wrote that. I guess well,
first, uh, first we have to talk about brock going like this guy's
been castrated. He's just sitting in the court like, oh so now she's
castrated him by by standing up for herself. Oh, poor poor Tom Sandoval,
he's prostrated. She just she cut his dick off, right, he
did nothing wrong to deserve this, this poor guy. And he's meanwhile over
there, so sleazy, just hitting on just chicks. Yeah, yes,
so so Arianna is like, look, this guy tried to ruin me and
now he's doing everything he can to make it my fault. And then Laala
goes okay, but like what if he said, and think Ariana is like,
he can't say shit to me, he needs to not say anything to
me. And I was like, here's Laala once again not on her side.
Oh and then later it comes out that Lala is so pissed about and
when she talks about her own shit again with Randall, which girl, that's
like last year's news whatever. Like she's just trying to have a story.
You would think she'd be empathetic when she just went through the same thing and
was you couldn't even look at Randy, Randy, I say, Randy,
Randall, You couldn't look at Randall. I call it Randy because we're really
good friend. Yeah, you guys are close. You almost went out and
did pay together. I almost went. We talked about this on the show.
But in case anyone forgets, I worked in an office opposite Randall Emmett.
This is true. I'm not going to tell the whole story again.
But somehow he got a hold of my phone number, which I did not
give to him. I was in my twenties, by the way, I
guess so was he. And he called me at home and was like,
hey, I and he figured out where I lived, and he's like,
me and Charlie are outside and I look out, and he and Charlie Sheen
want to bring me to a Lakers game. They've come by to pick me
up to go to a Lakers game. And I declined, which probably drives
Stuphanie crazy because she seem me not decline many people, and for me to
decline that seems that seems crazy. I mean, you could have a range
Rover. I could have a range Rover. I could have all kinds.
I have really much better stories than I just go anyway, Okay, So
yeah, so ridiculous. Yeah. And Sheena is now trying to be a
matchmaker for Schwartz for some reason, and I just wrote, why is it
her job to make sure that Schwartz is sleeping with someone? She knows?
These people all frustrate me, right. Also, she's well, she and
Katie go at it sometimes. They've had their big fights, so as Lala
and Katy. You know, Katie does butt heads, so I think,
and Sena is like, she's not a girl's girl. Well, she is
with Ariana. That's what's so weird. She is a really good friend to
her, usually not always, but she I think she's kind of one of
that. She thinks she's one of the guys. She's always closer to Sandaball
and Schwartz, so she's always gonna lean that way, right, And also,
so she's going to ask this First of all, let's talk about Toy.
So this is the girl that I guess Sheena was friends with, has
been friends with, and she Tory and Schwartz have been kind of hanging they
or she wants to ask him out. Yeah, it seems like she's definitely
being the aggressor in this situation because she's like, what are you gonna ask
me out? She's a lot. I just wrote, she's a lot.
She's if Joe's a pigmy girl, then Tory is also a picmic girl.
Oh yeah, I feel and I was kind of felt sad in this moment
for Joe. I just wrote where is Joe? And then the whole thing.
Don't worry because Joe is never far from our hearts, minds or TV
screens. Right, this is like the Joe episode. I don't understand like
how she's become like the star of the show. I kind of liked it,
though I kind of felt like she saved the episode because it was otherwise
who gives a shit about any of this? But then so Katie's trying to
They're doing this whole fake storyline where Katie's like, well, I think that
Tory is kind of cute too. Yeah, I'm a I'm a yeah,
she's suddenly a lesbian, even though she's like, well, I've always kind
of liked girls, but because I was with shorts, I never got to
like experiment with that side of myself. So like, okay, so you
want to do that now with a girl that he's going on a date with
that she's made it clear that she's interested in him, Like, I just
didn't even understand that, even though I'm on her side, it seems so
fake. I do want to give Katie a little compliment. She looks hot.
She rocks that like kind of short like gelled hair. Yes, she's
very pretty, and I could see what she was trying to do, but
it didn't seem real even for a second, which when they later like none
of that semi Tori is not into Katie. No, they're all interested in
being on TV exactly. This is so hard to watch because it's all like
this, like how even it and Joe is so obvious about it. She's
like, how can I be part of this group? Have I need this
person to be in the group. It's like what they mean is to be
on the show, right, one hundred percent? One one hundred percent right
now? This gets this next part felt real to me for the one moment
in the whole thing when La La, Sena and Arianna they go to have
this conversation. At first, they seem like terrible friends to her because they
never get it, But then it felt like Laala kind of got it and
was sorted for one second being a good friend. Is this when Arianna started
crying? Yes, because yes, Arianna totally broke down. She was being
very vulnerable and she was like this, this was my home. She's trying
to explain to these guys why she won't just move out because La LA's frustrated
with her, which I understand. I kind of got why, law I
kind of get why they're frustrated that she wouldn't move out. You're like,
why would you live with this guy who brings you so much like anger and
pain? Why would you live with him? And she on her side?
Oh yeah, I had me too. I've been on her side because like,
and I've said this before on this show, because why should she have
to move out? Right? Why he was the one who cheated. He
should get the fuck out the only Oh totally, you know, but I
think that what he's what he's kind of saying is like, I'm trying to
buy her out, so I'm offering her all this money. But and her
perspective is like, well, I don't want to live here, but I
also I'm going to get like the best deal, Like I'm not going to
just accept whatever offer, like you know, and she's like, this is
my fucking furniture. I decorated this place like this was my dream home.
M yes, yes, And I think I think what she said, and
but it really got to her when they all kind of had their arms around
her and they were like, you know what, this material stuff is as
important as your mental health, Like Arianna got it in that moment too,
Yes, Like that was a real deal thing and everybody was being nice,
and I was like, Okay, this is what like French sisterhood is yes,
and then it and then they went back on that, which is yes.
I wrote that down too. I said they're understanding and like they're having
like a good friend moment. This is like their sex in the city moment.
Yes, yes, they have their r and her they totally get her
and uh, let's see. Yes. And she's basically just going like why
does he get to act like the victim and like bad mouth me? And
she's also putting it out there, which you know, we all know.
She's basically like, he's just a sociopath. He has no remorse. And
we find out that he's never apologized. He hasn't even apologized for cheating on
her with Raquel, Yeah, because to him it's not his fault, Like
he's just he doesn't he's in a horror. He's vile. What's excuse that
she His excuse, genuinely is what he said, which makes my skin crawl,
is that like, well it was over forever. She wouldn't even have
sucks with me. She only sucks with me like four times a year.
She tried to kill herself just in defense four times. I think. So
it's plenty. He feels like plenty. You guys are no joke and also
like you get turned off, like he's kind of grows sand of all.
So yeah, you know and remember too, And I know I bring this
up a lot, but like there was a lot of drugs. And I'm
not putting on drugs. I'm not I'm not drugged. I don't I like
all these drugs that they like or are used to anyway, you know,
but they were fucked up in filming half they there are scenes with this so
clearly on, like molly mm hmmm. I mean they're they're sweating, they're
touching each other. I mean, like these crazy overnights, they're clearly fucked
up, right, I don't even know how they got that through productive Like,
I don't know how they're allowed to film that. I mean if they
don't say, if they're not showing them on camera doing it. That's why
they say the pasta. That's why they came up with a code for all
that shit. And it's so frustrating. But yeah, he's never But why
don't have money either, It's probably like they've spent it all on drugs.
Well they a lot of it, for sure, I mean, and then
it's why they had to get all those endorsement deals that didn't that mostly didn't
work. So his attitude is like, yeah, of course I was with
Raquel, your best friend, because you drove me to it. Yeah,
and until say you let yourself go, you wonn't even like remember the whole
thing, Like I mean, she basically saying she's so messy, she barely
pulls herself together. It's all. She's always so negative because all these terrible
things were happening. But she's so negative, right, well, then why
didn't he break up with her? That's whatever. That's what Sheena said when
in a real moment where she's crying and screaming at Sandoval, you break up,
you break up, and he's like I tried to she said she was
gonna kill herself. Now that's a conversation he could have had off camera,
right, if they really gave a shit, he'd pull Sheen aside and said,
honestly, this is what happened. What a fucking I. I swear
to you if I saw him, and Ariana, if you're listening, like,
I know you're not asking me to do this, but I will throw
things in his face. I don't know what, not anything that could have
hurt him, like, I don't want to go to jail, but like
cheese poffs, something that would hold on one moment, please, I'm gonna
pause us. Yeah, okay, we're back. Hi dog, My dog
almost brought this whole the roadcaster, the computer, she almost brought it all
tumbling to the ground, but I stopped it. I stopped it. Okay,
So Katie Katie and what's her face? Tory Tory make out. Schwortz
does not give a shit at all. He was like, okol, at
least start having this ridiculous conversation about whether or not Katie is like by or
whether she's gay, and and then Tory is just like, you're so pretty.
Oh my god, you're so pretty. Your eyeliner is like on point,
like, oh my god, you're so pretty. And she's Katie's like
you're so pretty. You're really pretty. And they're so set up for the
cameras because they didn't even move the location. The camera man was like,
well, we're gonna stay here, so you guys, do you mind rotating
through? Just as ridiculous, it's so stupidly fake. Kiss was like sos,
yes, my god, this is just so hard to watch, especially
from Torri's side, I feel like Katie might have sort of been into the
kiss for a second but was not, And what was the whole deal with?
Like, well, first, I think in this scene, this is
where she says to Schwartz like, so when are we going to go on
a date? Are you ever gonna ask me on a date? And he's
like, oh, okay, you want to go on a date? She's
like yeah, and then two minutes later she's making out with Katie, which
is like, listen, I don't have a problem with even with tor but
pick a lane, like you. I don't think you have to pick a
lane, but like, don't fake, don't We're smarter, the viewer of
vander Pump is smarter than this. We know this is set up. Like
I don't care if she's by or whatever she I'm not that you're saying that,
but like I just feel like, I mean, pick a lane with
the person you can't be with. You can't be with Schwartz and his ex
wife, Like you have to pick one of those two people. And it's
just that and it's so fake. None of that's real, none of it
And I stand bright, But why are they insulting our intelligence, like why
are they even showing it? As if we're all going to be like,
oh my god, what is the reaction the producers want us to have,
like oh that's so hot. Oh these people are so free. Maybe they
think that we think that it's going to lead to a threesome and ultimately get
Katie and Schwartz back together. Oh my god, I'm sorry. I'm sorry
I put that out there. But let's get to Joe because she's my favorite
now and my favorite I mean favorite to watch. Okay, So I just
wrote Joe. Why does Joe get her own scene? Why does she even
start off the scene? Like somebody else should be there first? But no,
it's Joe at the tail of the pup, which I'm not sure where
that is. Do you know where that is? I feel like it's on
Fairfax. That Isn't that Pinks? Oh no, not Pinks, That's on
Librea. I'll look it up right now so we can see, because I
feel like I think it was used to be next to my therapist office,
which like really freaked me out. Okay, I will say, what can
we talk about watching shows like this is when you live in the same city,
you're just like, oh, that's that place. Okay, it's on
Santa Monica. It's in West Hollywood, so I have seen it. It's
not far from me. It's on Santa Monica and miho, Okay, that's
where it is. It's a different place than I was thinking. Okay,
So Joe is meeting La La this hot dog thing, right, Yeah,
And every time they showed Joe in an interviewed like just a full on,
like a sweet little Forever twenty one top that she's wearing. I mean that
is and look sometimes I definitely dress young for sure, but that was rough.
But the pants too. She was wearing these like brown cords with like
some little flowers on them. They screamed, They screamed Forever twenty one,
kind of trying to go for a vintage look but not quite getting there.
Also, I get it, I've I've been drawn to those pants. I
hear you. I know I could see it working, but it wasn't working
altogether. Ores for a hairstylist. The hair's too light, it's off that
braid like it's a mess. Yeah, she's a mess. Also also also
Laala or they both order and Lala gets a diet coke and Joe orders a
be Why it's midday, Okay, it's like probably noon and Laala doesn't drink
right, Like, you can't just not you can't refrain from having a beer
on camera, Like to me, that's a choice. That's like no,
I got it, Like I know you're not drinking, but like I'm the
girl that's just I'm like, I'm a cool girl. M a guys girl.
What is man? Like what else? And then i just got to
have a bruski, Like I'm the kind of I'm the kind of girl that
just has to have a bruski. It doesn't matter what time of day.
It's like if I'm watching the game or if I'm like out at night,
like I just like a beer. I'm gonna push back a tiny bit.
We do all have the of all the understanding of people who do drink.
It's okay in an airport, so like right with its nine hours okay,
we're just making that there if if that's a thing, just making sure that
I'm that I'm okay there and if it's like I'm not getting mad at having
a beer like with your friends in the afternoon at all. My point is
you don't have this is this is like an unforced error. You don't have
to have a beer in this situation, and Lalla doesn't drink, so right,
you're right, you're drinking alone and you're trying to make a good impression
on Lalla, so there's no reason to just forego the beer in this circle,
in this situation, I agree, because it's not going to be it's
not a real conversation. It's a scene they're filming. Right, take a
minute, yeah, just do the scene. Yeah it was very short,
right, it was super short. I mean you we never know with lighting
how long anything takes. But yeah, it's just a dumb thing. They're
not really having this. They're not really going out. They're forced to,
which reminds me of the Old Housewives stuff where they've made you have two on
you had to have one on ones with everyone at least once. That's why
there's always like a forced let's have drinks, Like these two people would never
go have drinks, but now they're doing it on vandr Pump. I don't
remember them use that they used to do that now because I guarantee you're gonna
have to see Joe with everybody separately at least once. So now it's Lalla.
So do I think that she has like she they sat her down and
gave her a full on contract, ye, you know, like you're going
to be a major character. She's like a friend I think right now.
I think she's kind of in the friend position and she's auditioning to sort of
make it to the next thing, and she's fighting her ass off, And
I don't blame her. She does want to be on the show. And
they are really not happy, except for Tom, except for Schwartz, who
doesn't really even know what's happening. He's like, no, what have I
done? Joseph? Okay, and I want to tell you about the why.
This also really really bugs me the whole because they're doing a bit.
I'm going to tell you what it is right now. It's Joe Coy.
You know how Joe Coy. You know who Joe Coy is, the comedian.
Yeah. We had a fight about Joe Coy a little bit. We
did, not a big fight. Did you like him or not like him?
No? I didn't like him? Okay, yeah, uh well I'm
not a huge fan either. But his whole thing is like he does his
mom voice going Josef Joe Seth. They're doing They're doing Joe Koy doing his
mom because she does she repeats it that way she goes. He calls me
Joseph. Joseph. Oh my god, I didn't get it, because didn't
so she has like some nickname for him. All of a sudden that she
yells out, what was the what was the big money? Oh? T
money, and Waila was not having She was like, so you just call
him Tea money. She's so annoyed. Her face just doesn't move because the
botox, and she just so always just angry face and she's just like,
you call him t many. But I was with her on this. I'm
like me too, Oh my god, it's not the fucking nineties. Are
you guys serious right now? They're both so basic but also Tea, yeah
exactly, it's not swingers. What have you just come up with? You're
so money Tea you don't even know it. And you're like, so,
I mean, you're right, it's like you know what, it's no better.
It's our version of like if you went back twenty something years, it's
cringey as someone going like, oh alrighty, then yeah, it's a nightmare.
That's a nightmare. I did not know that about joke call. I
mean that is information. Oh my god. I thought he just I thought
it was kind of cute he calls her Joseph. It would be cute if
it wasn't that they were doing an impression of a comedian. Yeah. I
guarantee you that's what it is, because she said it in the same and
he's a huge he's a huge name these days. Oh yes, of course,
of course. And that's his whole that is his signature thing is going
Joseph Joseph. Yeah, that's amazing. Okay, she did the impression of
La. La just looked totally like huh, Lala did not care. She's
just not happy. She did not want to be there. She's got she's
got a kid, and she's like getting She was getting herself. I think
she was pregnant. I think she'd already gotten pregnant. Isn't that true?
Because she went on Watch What Happens and I don't remember the timeline, but
she announced that she was pregnant. So I wonder if some of this stuff
of her going to the sperm bank is just performative. Oh well, yeah,
it definitely was like an ad for the sperm bank. Yeah, it's
very possible she was already pregnant. Yeah, you're right, because it's the
China. She never says nice things about anyone, and after this berm Bank,
she's like, he's really nice. This is a wonderful place. It's
so cool that there's air conditioning in here. At the sperm Bank, they
probably gave her free sperm in exchange for like the commercial. Oh my god,
they totally did. At Crypto Bank, we'll get to that. So
but before we get to the Crypto Bank activity, we have top golf because
there's so many hold on, I'm not done with this. I'm not done
with this. So Laala asks, is like she's going to be like kind
of hard ass, and she's like, listen, did you know did you
know that Sandoval was like sleeping with Raquel and Joe so unbelievably, is like,
what course not? Of course not. I was focused on Schwartz.
Okay, that doesn't make it sound better. Why that's why I was just
really obsessed with Schwartz. I was just really into him, I mean.
And then she does an impression of herself which was really cringey, where she's
like, I mean what was I going to be like, Oh, I
think those two are hooking up. No, I thought plus I thought he
was broke. It's like one thing after another. She's like, no,
I thought he was broken up with Arianna? How did you think he was
broken up with her? She is a liar. Everybody on the show knew
that they were together, they were living together. And she's saying, oh,
I was focused on shorts because I really res all but not really all.
We're just friend jkjkj Yeah, she's out of her mind. Laala's are
like cool, cool scene. Over Can I go home and take care of
my baby? I mean she does? She is over it. She is
over it. Isn't it so crazy after all these years that La La and
James? Laala is totally sober. James is California sober. But those are
the ones. I mean, it's a show. Yeah. Did you hear
John sneeze in the background? No, that was funny. Yeah, playing
top golf? Yeah. Yeah. So now we find out, and I
thought this might this might bug you, we find out that Arianna is being
out of group text now like somehow she has to be the odd one out
over fucking Tom Sandoval, Right, Yeah, why is he not if they
want, look, he should not be on the text. She should be
for group events. And then if Schwartz wants to invite him, his best,
he can invite him. That can be whatever they however they're going to
handle that. But why is she the one like kicked off? Right?
That is so unfair And there's no way like that's not her being paranoid,
that's that's her feeling like people are siding with him, and I understand why
it's making me so upset. And I feel like James sometimes is on the
right side of things. I feel like in the scene he kind of was,
He's like, fuck that guy. Yeah, he's so cooked out.
I mean, whatever he says, I know, it's my tom just a
practice. That's his version of California sober is just like cocaine. Like I
shouldn't say that. I shouldn't. I shouldn't say that it's allegedly where this
is just our our take. He has said many times that he does all
the other things, you know, so he doesn't she know that he knew
that drinking specifically was the thing he couldn't do, and that's where he is,
right, Okay, So and then So Ariana tells us that she's looking
for a house, which you know she already found, and it's in your
neighborhood. It's in my neighborhood, just two blocks away. For real.
So does her house have a treehouse vibe? It does. It's in Outpost
Canyon. I don't know if I'm allowed to say that because this was sent
to me by a real estate person, but I think it'll get out the
Yeah. Plus they're gonna they'll probably eventually film there. Yeah the show keeps
going. Yeah, yes, it definitely has treehouse vibes. Okay, then
good for her. She got what she wanted. I think she probably already
had her eye on it. You know how these things are in television,
right. Okay, So now we are at Cryobank, so Lala can trade
her a scene for sperm. Mm hmm. I wrote, yeah, I
feel bored, and then I wrote, Okay, Lala, we get it.
It was the Randall thing was terrible. Get your girl, get your
sperm now. And then after the whole Randle thing again we talked about this
earlier, she immediately again has no empathy for Arianna. Yeah. Fuck,
but so she does this whole thing and then she starts just like crying hysterically
about I guess why is she crying? Can you explain it to me?
I think she's just still upset about Randall, and like she's feeling emotional because
she wants to have a bit. She keeps saying she wants to have a
baby that's just hers that no one can take. Yeah, it's also just
a weird I'm sorry, this might this might be a bad take, but
and I have friends who are single moms who god sperm and decided to have
a baby and go that path. I just feel like the reasoning is weird
to be like I just want the baby. I don't have to share it
with anybody. It's weird too, I think so too, And I understand
why she's saying it. But I also feel that her other child is gonna
if they see that someday, there's going to be something there's something a little
off about that. Well, you were born with this terrible father that we
hate, and i'd all hate there, but this baby's going to be like
no strings attached in mind mind. Yeah. And then also, like let's
say you meet somebody, okay, and that person wants to like adopt your
child and help raise and you know, be a daddy, be a stepdaddy.
Are you always going to be like, well, you're not the real
dad. I bought this baby, la la. Probably, yes, I
got the sperm, so you don't have any rights. You don't tell me
what to do. But yeah, and I get it, but then I
don't. I just I that's a tricky one. But I really got triggered
when Sena pretends to be art and his best friend, not to say that
she can't have problems with her, not that they can't have fights, but
then she tries to say, like she throws it out there that arian is
just being again with the hat not moving out, that she's too good for
an apartment. Oh fucking mean, I was so mad. I was like,
so, so was that totally fake when you were having your sex in
the city moment when you had your arm around her and were letting her cry.
Meanwhile you were just like, just move out of the house already,
stupid bitch, Yeah, and behind her back, making it seem like Arianna
is just such a queen that she can't live in an apartment. Maybe she
just didn't want to. She has a house and she wants to get bought
out and buy another house. She's allowed, yes, and she also already
explained, like how many times does she have to explain where she's coming from
That it's not that she's too good or that she can't none of the above.
It's that she doesn't want to let him win and let him just have
the house, even if because she's buying her out, it's still only four
months ago. It's not like years have gone by people. This immediately started
filming again three months after the reunion, even where she was obviously curious.
But let's move on to Schwartz going to hair Boss, because this is where
I get That's where I kind of lose my mind a little bit. He
goes to see Joe and she's being very harsh with him, more so that
she's not usually like mean, she's kind of rough, but she's not mean,
but she was just being really like, let me do my thing.
Shut up. So she dyes his hair blonde, and then she obviously puts
in I'm kind of like a toner or something, which my first thought was
like, oh my god, it's like did she dye it brown? Back
and brown? And he's like, wait, it's it's wait is it back
to brown? And she's like, shut up, I hate shut up.
I hate people that don't do hair. Oh, I'm sorry. Do we
not understand exactly how that works? So why did you just dye his hair
white? Blande? It is the worst coloring. Oh, it's not right
for him. It's not even actually blonde. It's like it's orange. It's
like it's like an accident with sun in. It was terrible. You know
if you put the blonde in for not quite long enough and it's has it
was tinted orange. Yeah, he was caret top. It was really really
bad, and it was just he could not pull it off. I could
actually see you. No, nobody could pull that off. If they even
just go to the white white blonde, maybe Sandoval it might be interesting with
him. And I'm not giving him a pass. I'm just saying he could
probably pull it off. Schwartz cannot. What about when he goes so he's
like, hey, hey, Joseph, I went on a date. And
she's like frenzied. She's like like the fruit, not the fruit, like
a date, like a date. She like loses her shit. I'm not
like other girls. Why why? Why? And she's mad, and I
felt for her in this moment though, because she's reached her I do think
they have a secret thing. I think he lies to her all the time.
I mean, later it comes out that he tells Sarah loves her.
Yeah, but he says no, He's like, no, we're not in
a relationship. No, But I don't think they're in a really. I
think I think it's it's what you and I have talked about many times.
I think that he thinks that he's been clear enough that he's like, yeah,
yeah, that it's a situationship, that we're just friends. That's I
guess what he thinks. But I think he's telling her something a little different
behind the scenes. I think he's telling her. I think he admits that
he's telling her like we have passion, like we have such a great time
together each other. Yeah. So she's like, well I just don't understand.
Well, we're not there yet, okay, so hold on. Also,
I did say that his hair looked like remember that movie powder. Yes,
yeah, that's kind of what he That's what he looked like. Well,
that's what he was going for. But I don't think he had the
white blonde. I think he was trying to go for that, and yes,
it washed out all his features. No, it just looked terrible.
I was surprised that he didn't like put his hand as almost said, pause
his hands out and have like lightning come out of him like powder. Like
what if it just gives you some weird patch. She's like, shut up,
schwartzy, I'm giving you powder powers, oder powers. She's like,
I haven't seen the movie in a while, so just bear with me.
Okay, So okay. So meanwhile, right stand of all, is that
where all? Yeah? Or he wants to go he wants to go to
a singles event at the Mandrian Hotel, which is yes, I can't believe
that's still a hotel. It had its day. The Skybar had its day.
Remember I dragged you there many times, of course, because you just
to remind people you looked a lot like Alanis Morissette back in the day.
I did. Yeah, surely she's more earthy crunchy now, but yes,
and people believed it, and we would call and make a reservation under Maverick
Records. I would say, yeah, we'd go up there, and I'd
say, Victor from Maverick Records put us on the thing and they're like,
oh my god, we knew it was you. I mean, this happened
a lot. There was a period of time between I guess maybe ninety eight
and two thousand and four where I mean there wasn't a bar, there was
not a club. I couldn't get into using Jazz's identity. Yes, and
I would never say that I was a Lanis. That was my reasoning,
is that I was like, oh well I can just like, I'll just
not I mean, if they say it, I won't say anything. Right.
But anyway, we used to go to this place that now they're having
Vanderpump singles nights, which feels like maybe it's kind of taking a step down
as a hotel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They wouldn't do this at
like the Four Seasons, I don't think. But so Schwartz says to her,
He's like, she's like, so what are you doing? Oh no,
okay, Okay. Schwartz tells Joe that Katie and Torri are on a
date. So then they flashed to Katie and Torri on a date doing like
a painting date, like a color of me mine? Yeah, for no
real reason. Date. Okay. So then they go back to them at
the at the hair salon, and basically she he's like yeah, but he
makes it clear that he'd gone out with her the night before, so he's
not trying to hide that he dates people. And she's like, sweat,
what's good on later? It's good on later, bruh. And he's like,
oh, I'm going to go to this singles thing and she's like I
want to come right, which made no sense. I mean she just and
then late, well we'll get to that, okay. Okay. So Katie
and La La right, and Arianna and Sheena are at girls' night. Oh
did I say this out of order? Is this when they talk? You're
right? No, this is the right. This is the next thing because
I had I was really mad at Lalla. Yeah. I feel like she's
such a trader. Yes, yes, okay, okay, yes, yes,
yes, I'm excited for this scene. Yes. So they asked Katie,
do if it's weird that she went on a date with Tory the night
after her ex went out with him? Okay, and then she's like whatever,
okay, then it comes up okay, so wait, so wait then
we go to skybar mm hmm, yeah, it's going back and forth.
Yes, we go to the skybar and Schwartz's hair looks terrible. I'd said,
he's trying to pull off Ken from the Barbie movie Ryan Gosling. It's
terrible. And then Joe is like, she's sitting she's being so territorial.
She's sitting behind him, and she's just like running her fingers to his hair,
like grooming him monkey, Yes, like a little monkey, like pulling
little gnats out of his own la. So we left this little bleach ball
in here. Yes, she's being very, very extra and it's really obvious
to all of the other guys. Now, I'm gonna be get hate for
this. But the Asian guy that's been hanging out with them, it's like
the group, he's not gay. I think he is. Okay, then
what this is like a mixed like again, it must be it must be
a mix thing, but it must be okay, I thought for I didn't
know it was like for all. But would that makes sense? Of course
we're modern times. It doesn't. I'm not sure, but yeah, I
assumed. I never even really thought about it because he's so in the background,
that guy, right, they had the green bracelet on all the guys
got their green bracelets and they're like, yeah, rah, we're sitting right,
I'm ready to go. And then you have yeah different Sorry, there's
a dog barking in my in your apartment? What I feel like? A
dog just came in. There's a I have a doggy door because I just
like this red dog because it mean one time I was living in a studio
apartment in West Hollywood and I had my door kind of cracked open because I
didn't have a dog at the time, and a little tiny bass at Hollen
puppy just came inside, just moved the door with his head and came in.
And I was like, what kind of dream is? This is the
best thing that's ever happened. And it took a while. I was like,
I really honestly don't know what to do in this situation. And then
finally someone knocked on the door and like, I think my dog just came
in here, And I was like, yes, anytime. Not the cutest
thing, like I imagine the tiniest little basset hound. Oh, I already
loved fashion hound. You wanted to brave you? Okay, So Santoval,
by the way, did you like it when the lady went up to him
and was like, I really like your lady clothes. Yes, yes,
he's like, I really do. I wear like a lot of a lot
of little pearls. Pearls. Josh's rolling under that a lot of pearls.
Okay, So then so what While Joe is fingering Schwartz's hair, he finally
looks at her like, come on, get off me. Okay, he
kind of gets it in a moment, He's like and then the excuse that
Joe gives is that it's like, well, I thought I was the wingman.
You thought you were the wing that he just told you had a day.
Yes, yes, she's not doing well here. I get I feel
her, but it's it sucks, and it does suck if he's like,
I love you, Joseph, sucks and then she doesn't. I mean,
of course she doesn't get it right. She's so young, like she's you
know, we remember she's probably thirty. Yeah, oh do you think I
don't know how old she is? But she's not old and so but she
is very much after Schwartz. I mean, they were saying that they're basically
like living together. They're together all the time, yes, and hooked up
all the time, right, so you can understand why when we go back
to this girl's night and Lala's like, yeah, so I totally hung out
with Joe, you can understand why Katie's heckles would go up and why she'd
be like what, yeah, like why and why didn't you tell me?
And then Lala's answers that she's in her soft era right now, that's why
Joe's reaching out. No, like not that producers made them have the scene,
no, because Laala is really the softest of all of them. If
you can get to Lalla, it's such a bullshit. She's such an asshole,
the worst. And then Laala has the nerve to say to camera,
Joe is harmless, you know, like you know, I think she's you
know how like sometimes like a penis. I don't think penises just fall into
vagina's but in this case, I do. I think it was just an
accident. No, it was over and over again, and I love you
and Joe is in love with Schwartz, So how on what planet is that?
Just like the most harmless is Joe totally harmless? And we become a
little team Joe though a little bit, I feel I feel her in this,
I feel like it's Schwartz's faults. Okay, I'm not team Joe.
I do. I do think that Schwartz is one hundred percent giving mixed messages.
But I'm not team Joe in the terms of like Joe is not Katie's
friend, Joe is out for Joe. Joe wants to be with Schwartz,
And I don't see how Lalla can't acknowledge that, like that she should have
some loyalty, yes, and she never does. That is such a good
point. And then okay, so then they go from we already at top
golf. But we also know by the way that La La and Katie are
like not speaking anymore, right, we know that some of this tension is
real. We know because La La gets really defensive and she's like, this
is ridiculous, Like why can't I like talk to Joe, like, and
Katie is upset because she's like, I don't understand how you don't understand,
Like what's important to me is loyalty, like just be loyal And she has
those conversations. You know, remember for so long we say this every week,
Katie and Arianna really did not get along. I mean they really and
now they're kind of almost like forced together in the trenches. I mean,
yes, they started the sandwich shop. That may never happen, but now
I think, like, in a way, I think Katie's almost using it.
I like Katie, and I know a lot of people don't, but
I like her, But I feel like she's almost using this. Look see
how you're alone. I'm the one sticking by you, you know what I
mean. Yeah, And if that ever changes, like if Arianna's ever goes
back, you know, somehow becomes friends with sandovalg like that could that could
blow up because Katie really she's all about that kind of stuff. So it's
it's that's it's it's tricky. And then they go have paintball, Like we
didn't have enough activities in this episode. We already had top golf. It's
just becoming an episode of Survivor, it is. And I really don't understand
paintball. I love like laser tag. Why not do laser tag? You
know? And also why with like the women, It's like it's like a
commercial for a gun show where it's like and the guys can run around and
play paintball and there's turquoise jewelry for the ladies. Right, it's so old
school, like men love women love the shit, but guys don't want to
hold their purse. Like, okay, ladies want to have a glass of
wine and have snacks on a table while the big strong fellows shoot each other
with gungs and then they yeah, they talk about and then backing. Sandoval's
trying to be like he's acting like he's in the Marines. Yeah, go
Google, Like, go serve your country. Actually no, it wouldn't be
so bad for you. Go for a couple of years, actually, like
and then get back to us. Yeah shit, I just really okay,
Okay, So now they do lalas defending that she was, So Katie's not
there, right, So Laala's defending like, yeah, I went to lunch
with Joe, who cares? And then yeah, Lala's bitching about Katie and
going. Katie says she wants loyalty and consistency from her friends. Hold up,
you're a whore and you suck and I'm not going to baby you.
Yeah, and she also brought up one of them brought up that Katie,
well, Katie fucked Max. First of all, Schwartz has already done all
kinds of he made out with Rockel, like all so many things. Katie
didn't do shit, and Schwartz does not care. I don't believe he cares
that she had sex with Max, which they're all probably already done because he
was like a little poor that was around for a while, right, still
not making it back on the show no matter what he's trying to do obviously,
So haha, Max, but Lala's just being gross. Oh so we
forgot to we forgot to talk about the fact that when they're at the singles
thing, because this is leading to this next scene. So Joe gets upset
at the singles thing, even though Tom both the Tom's everybody's made it clear
they're out there to like date, and he said like five hundred times.
He's like, I'm here to mingle, I'm going to meet people. I'm
single, I'm free, I'm wearing a green band. And then Joe comes
up to him. She's like, what's going on, what's going on?
What are you doing talking to somebody? Talking to a girl? It's up
with that? And he's like yeah. So she gets mad and storms out,
gets she's mad, but then she says to camera, I believe this
is where she's like, I'm tired of being a secret. Yes, this
is where I think there's stuff we don't know. I believe her, I
just do. I think I understand that he's making you know, he's being
all clear like like all that, but I think there is like of course
she's going to think they're in a relationship. I think everybody believes her.
I don't think you're alone. I think all the girls think that he's sleeping
with her and leading her on and then ignoring her when they're out altogether,
you know what. I Okay, So when Joe stormed out and was really
upset and actually really genuinely upset, it shows like Tom's face looking all confused.
Oh, this is later when they go over to the house, right
to have a conversation back at the house, Well, so yeah, this
is the last scene. So Tom walks into the apartment with Joe and he's
like, bro, what happened the other night? Yeah, what happened?
You know? You know I'm single, right, Like you know, I
just I hook up with other people all the time, right, Like you
know, you know I'm like a single guy, right, Like you don't
think we're like I'm your boyfriend right, Like she has to dance around it.
She has to be like cool, cool whatever. Yeah, okay,
Like she kind of handles herself pretty well. At the end, she's sad.
But he has this look on his face Schwartz, like he's been in
a body switch movie with a kid like in like big yes, like he's
just so dumb. It plays so dumb. Yeah, it's a problem.
I say I love you because I do love you, especially when we're having
sex. I love you the most. So I look in your eyes and
I say I love you. But you know, and I mean we do
live together, we are best friends, we have all and we do it
on that date where we like paddle boat and stuff, and I say I
love you all the time. Yeah, it's a problem. Russef Joseph Joseph
Joseph, I care about you. And this face is just like so so
I wrote the same, like it we end where we begin. Schwartz is
so stupid. But the funny thing to me, I mean it's not funny.
The sad thing to me is that while he's saying he's like, but
you know, like that I am totally single, right, Like you get
that, like you know that I totally sleep with other people like all the
time, right, And she's like, yeah, no, I get it.
I totally get it. Cool. Cool, but like we get along
like so great, right, like we're like ah, we laugh and like,
you know, we like love to have sex with each other and like
so like from my perspective, like we should totally like grow all together,
right, yeah, are you really all the gross old ugly h yeah?
And he's like, uh, you know, it's like holding a ball,
a tennis ball behind a dog's head because he just looks like, wait,
what did I get? He's like I'm giving and she's like exactly, yeah,
so what's the problem. And he's like, oh, have I been
giving you mixed messages? And she's like uh kind of. And then that
was so sad and she was like I want to call my dad. Like
that just made me so sad for her when she had to leave the scene.
Yeah, well, she's like, well he's like, oh wow.
What I'm starting to think is like maybe like us spending like all of our
time together and like having sex like every day and like totally getting it off,
Like maybe we should like should we spend less time together? And she's
like yeah, how about no time together? How about we should see each
other? And then she goes, okay, I just read he just did
not care in that kind of it, Like didn't even dawn on him that
she meant that when she doesn't mean it, of course, but like,
yeah, that was that was right. Like he's like, all right,
I guess going from I love you. It's gonna be hard, though,
Joseph, because I say I love you every day and we do have great
sucks like ever see you and who's good? I need a roommate now because
we do live together. Yes, And then she's like, I'm leaving.
I have to call my dad, and he goes, Joseph, did you
leave? Like noah, it's just like, oh my god, the nail
in the coffin is just like jo like he just doesn't get it and he
doesn't care as much as he's barely getting off the couch, he's like,
no, wait a minute, come back. Oh I guess you're not gonna
come back, so I'm just gonna have a beer, Like wait, no,
don't go calm back. Uh huh Joseph, Oh no, because he
knows she's not going anywhere right, No, because she wants to be in
the show too. She's about the show, and I think she's really a
nim and I think you been lying to her. There's all kinds of things
that are going on, and none of them are good. No, No,
I don't think we're left with any heroes. No. But one positive
thing is we had no Lisa on this episode. Wasn't that nice? That
is true? Lisa Ken? No Ken, Well, Ken's his scooter broke.
I don't know who's Joseph was talking about Joseph about it, I go,
I can't wait for Lisa though, to talk about how Tom Schwartz is
such a great guy, and like, you know, who's this Joe Anyway,
She's just some hole that wants to be on the show. She always
kind of she does take these guys member with Kristin. I mean I By
the way, I accidentally watched a little of The Valley again. No,
thank you. That is the worst thing I've ever really put into my I
don't think I've seen a worst show. I have heard though, that the
new vander Pump Villa is not bad. I may have to check it out.
Wow, I'm not gonna make you cover it. No, you're more
invested in these people. I guess no, they're different. People started over.
It's like a villain they rebooted. Oh in like I want to say
France somewhere anyway. I mean, they're not French. They're just doing like
some sort of summer thing, right, Yeah, and I can't watch Summerhouse
either, I've tried. Before we go, let us say hi to our
people. Yes, please, we have friends that we want to say hi
to. And their names are Don Lee and Cassie Wadsworth and Sarah Baker and
Jenny Harden and Jane McMurray and ann Yarborough take it, and Shelley Clavier,
Shery Shannon, Lauren Barnes, Tama Adams, Shrey Singer, Randy may Ames
and Pollie Paullie. I'm gonna call him Polly Paullie, Souley Sullivan. I
love him. Yeah, don't forget about is Shon Vajpay. Who wants you
guys to know about the Rotary Club, Shan if you want to switch it
to something else, like, just let us know if you want to.
But in the meantime, the Rotary Club is really great and it's a cool
organization and you can do a lot for your community just by like going to
their meetings. And also Jamie val is plugin spitfire Social, which is her
company which will help you make TikTok videos. It will elevate your business,
your smaller medium business to the next level through use of social media advertising.
And she's a really good She's been doing this a long time. Also was
fitfiresocial dot com? Ye one. Yes. Also, my friend Adam Lerner
is a car broker. His website is called Adam's goot acar dot com and
if you're in California, this is a free service. He gets his money
from kickbacks from the dealerships, but he doesn't he's not in cahoots with the
dealerships. He's pitting them against each other. So if you don't like to
try to negotiate for a car, and who does. Adam loves it.
He thrives on it. And if you could you find yourself the best deal,
he'll beat it. He'll find you a better deal, or he'll just
educate you about cars. So, Adam's got a car. And also do
you want to tell him about Nancy? Yes, So our friend Nancy Buckenham
has an Etsy store and she sells toads and travel mugs, journals, hand
towels, and they all like they have her original artwork printed on them,
and it's really beautiful stuff. It's unique. She does it herself, so
it's stuff you've never seen and they make such good gifts. You can find
her at Etsy dot com, slash shop slash n Buckenham Design so that's N
B U C K E n H A M Designs, and that's where you
can find all this really cool stuff. Again, great gifts. Yeah,
and guys, don't forget that we have more episodes of Quiet on the set.
We're covering Drake, all things Drake and what happened with him and what
happened you know, the whole situa. Yeah, where are they now?
And also, yeah, if you haven't listened yet on Patreon, do we
do two full episode it's about Dan. No, we just did the one.
Oh we do an episode about Dan and then also about the horrific people
that were being hired, yes by Nickelodeon. So those are two different episodes.
You can get all of them all in one deal. Just go to
our Patreon. Yeah, Patreon dot com, slash rose Pricks. It's five
dollars a month, and you'll get all the back episodes and everything that we're
doing on Quiet on the set, and all of our Golden Bachelor. If
you want to go back and listen to the Golden Bachelor, it's all there,
all right, guys. Bye bye,