Callaroga Shark Media. Hi, I'm Johnny mack with your daily comedy and who's
some fun jokes from Jimmy Fallon. First, Chipotle is selling a new Chipotle
Boy Bowl aimed at finance bros. It's a normal bull, but instead of
building it yourself, your dad just hands it to you. Love it.
Another one, a woman in Maryland brought a vase at a thrift store for
four dollars that turned out to be a two thousand year old Mayan artifact.
Experts were like, you're either rich or cursed. Listener Richard actually sent that
over as an item for five Good News Stories that'll be showing up on that
podcast, which I also host Five Good News Stories where you get your pods?
Did Jerry Seinfeld listen to last week's podcast and take advice from Johnny macko?
And Hey, my Heckel game is pretty weak. I better step it
up because Jerry this time came prepared. Another group of pro Palestine Heckler showed
up at a show in Australia, and this time Jerry had material. Let's
listen. Oh you're bye, they're by, the contesters are by, Why
miss you? Oh you're not doing well, it's so hard for you.
You gotta guest. Listen, dude, listen, listen. Let me explain
something. You and I are in the same business. We're in the same
business. Our business is to get people to see things the way we see
it. The problem is you're in the wrong place. Do you hear how
well I'm doing. This is what you want? You want to do well
like I am. Look at the people here to hear me. Look at
what happened to you. I look because context is very important for your message.
For example, if I was going to do my little comedy show that
I do. If I went to a Australian rules rugby game and I told
this guy I love this guy. If I said to this guy, you
check out, I'm gonna do my comedy act here, I would get that
same reaction. I would get kicked out on my ass because that's not where
I blow. Here's the other thing I think you need to go back and
tell who's ever running your organization. We just gave more money to a jew.
That cannot be a good plan for you. That's not what you want.
That's the whole problem. That you gotta come up with a better plan.
Now that was clearly rehearsed. Jerry was ready for that one, so
he stepped up his game. Hey is Michael Jay leaving Saturday Night Live?
Let me answer No, he does this every year. Last week he posted
a rather cryptic Instagram story that had some fans wondering if he was leaving SNL.
On an otherwise blank post, he wrote, I'm a full time stand
up comedian again. Some think he's hinting that SNL is no longer his full
time job. Others are like, it's summer, He's a full time stand
up comedian. We'll see. I mean the Jost shape hearing has been so
strong. To leave it as we walk up to the fiftieth anniversary would be
probably insane. Do one more year with Jost, take the victory lap,
then get out to get out now is crazy? That would just be crazy.
Mark Norman has a new short documentary for Punch Up Live. We get
to see Mark Norman working on a joke from the first time he tried it
to all the way to doing it at Carnegie Hall. The eight hundred pound
Gerilla Websites spoke with Mark and said, do you get the impression that audiences
are generally unaware of just how painstaking the process is. For one joke,
Norman said, oh, one hundred percent. It's so much to do about
word choice and trial and error, and hey, I thought this would work.
Let me say this line. Maybe that'll trigger something. It's not pretty.
Was there pressure or fear with showing yourself bombing and having to live through
that again? Norman said, well a little bit. We're shooting another one
right now. It's so much bombing and people are like, what the hell.
I thought this guy had a Netflix special. This isn't great. I
thought the bombing part was what people needed to say, so let's show them
the nitty gritty. I say, bombing is work, But then watching yourself
back just brings up all those feelings. Killing's bad too, by the way,
just watching yourself suck. So watching yourself bomb is really heartbreaking. The
Gorilla said, I can't imagine what it's like having to edit a special.
Norman said, oh, yeah, it's a nightmare. I have a friend
he did an hour special. It was so painful for him to watch you
till the editor just edited. I can't even look at it. And then
he looked at it later and it was like, oh, shoot. I
should have watched it, so you have to do it, but it's painful.
Conan O'Brien is set to make a cameo in If I Had Legs,
I'd Kick You. The New York Times describes the upcoming part as a dramatic
cameo. If I Had Legs, I'd Kick You was a comedy drama set
to star Rose Byrne. The film follows a therapist and mother on Long Island
who must navigate her child's mysterious illness and absent husband, a demolished home,
a missing person, and an increase complicated relationship with her own therapist, all
while treating her own crisis laden patients. So a dramatic cameo. Does he
play Conan O'Brien's talk show host Conan's physicality he's rather tall and has a shock
of red orange hair, it might be difficult for him to disappear into a
role we'll see. I have told Jeff Foxworthy many times I'd like to see
him go off type and play something like mean or nasty like Jeff Foxworthy serial
killer would be amazing. But Jeff has not taken me up on my advice
yet. Told you John Stewart's in a band well Church and State. They're
working on an album. Singer Rick Barry, guitarist Andy Bova, bassist Jim
Bova, drummer John Stewart. Singer Rick Barry tells Late Night Or we'd been
working on the songs for some time now and preparing to do a pop up
show eventually. Since that's kind of the whole vibe of Asbury Underground anyway,
I thought it'd be the perfect event for us to show up and play somewhere
unannounced in a non traditional venue. The folks at Asbury Park Brewery were extremely
accommodating. Now it's back to the studio at Simple Sound Studios where we're writing
and tracking our debut record, so hopefully everyone keeps an eye out for that.
John mulaney will narrate the audiobook for former SNL writer Simon Rich's short story
collection Glory Days. Glory Days is a collection of stories the chronicles the plight
of aging millennials. The story's encapsulate a variety of perspectives, such as a
forty year old super Mario who must take a stock of his life, as
well as the trials of participation trophy reminiscing about how they were won by a
jubilant Athmatic. In a statement, Rich tells people, I've been a John
Malaney superfan since the day we met at SNL in two thousand and eight.
He's the funniest person on the planet. I think he should read the audio
version of every book, even the super intense religious ones run on. Hirschberg
will have a special next week Comedy Dynamics will released It Could Have Been Better,
theo D July second album version July fifth. It Could Have Been Better
is his fourth special overall, and the second in two months. On June
twentieth, the comic took to YouTube to debut his third hour Brave, taped
to the Comedy Seller in New York City. Also from Late Nighter, Sarah
Sherman described her Weekend Update appearance as RFK Junior's Rainworm. Sarah said, this
season, I tried at different things that were new to me. I wanted
to push myself to be like, what if I saw something in the news
that week and try to write for it and do something timely that's new for
me, and that's like the challenge of the show. I saw the new
story and I immediately texted every single member of Weekend Update. I was like,
I got this one. Come on, y'all, let me do it.
It's so scared to do something like that because you only have two days
in limited time, but you just feel so supportive because all the writers are
so funny, everyone's excited for the challenge. Sarah said, they had me
try out a costume with no arms, and she said, I think it's
funnier if I have arms so I can slurp out of a brain smoothie,
and that's when the costume department goes we got this, and then they made
the really gorgeous worm gloves. Ian Carmel was said to be the opening act
on Ellen's upcoming Farewell tour. Those plans have been scrapped. Let's see if
you can read between the lines here. Carmel spent the last three months working
closely with Ellen and says, I listened to her tell me about her life,
and tell me about the last four or five years of her life specifically,
and try to synthesize that into something funny and relatable. Okay, it
was one of the great challenges of my career, but also super fun.
Let's really read between the lines. She's very funny, she's very creative.
She's very direct in her feedback, which I appreciate. When the offer came
through, I couldn't believe it because you almost don't think of her as human
because it's Ellen. She's one of those one namers. I don't know what
do you think happened? I think I know what happened, but I'll keep
it to myself. And that's your comedy news for today. Enjoy the show,
Tell a friend about it. They might like it too. And you
know in the commercial Free and All that you've heard me read that fifty times
and it's a premo and stuff. You know what to do four ninety nine.
Click to thanks so Y