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You're on Tropic Time now made Sanson all

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face sunny summern on ihdurasione n Hey, welcome to f COO. It's me.

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It's step Wilder Tailor. Lynette is
just off in Cabo enjoying herself.

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But for her, I have a
special treat for you. Jullie Kay's away.

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Thanks for having me again. Stephanie's
like you want to do the podcast?

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I was like, yes always.
Now is this just Lynette and Natalia

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or is it like with some other
moms or no, I think it's just

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Lynette and maybe that hmm, knowing
to tell you think that she'd have like

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some entrage, but I but Lynette
did not say that she was having to

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deal with another mom. So okay, so maybe if end's the two of

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them, it's so sweet. That's
what I did in April with my girls,

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and I honestly loved it, So
that would be super sweet if it's

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just the two of them. Yeah, I know. It's just a pretty

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quick trip. So today we're recording
on Monday. I believe she left her

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day. Oh we're recording on Tuesday, and she's back tonight because we were

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going to possibly record with her tomorrow
morning. So she I think she literally

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like go like Saday weekend or something. Again. Trip, I mean,

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Cabbo's so close you could do that. It's literally to our flight and then

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oh really, Oh it's so it's
yes, a little even less. On

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the way down there was like an
hour and fifty whatever minutes, and then

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our particular hotel was like twenty minutes
from the airport. It's like so great,

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it's such a great quick getaway.
Do you have to have passports?

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You do? I have to get
my kids, the twins passports for sure.

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It doesn't even have a passport.
Yeah, just make an appointment.

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What am I doing? Yeah?
What are you doing? Well? I

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think it's because when I got a
passport a couple of years ago, it

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was kind of a kashaw. It's
a total kushaw. And I think we

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had an appointment, but we still
had to wait in all these lines.

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It was still a couple hour processes. Well, I'll tell you where to

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go. We're not in lines,
and you just walk in. You have

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your appointment, of course, and
you just walk in and it's so easy.

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That's where we go. It's up
in Santa Clarita. Oh totally worth

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the drive whatever thirty minutes. But
you're not in lines, you're not in

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anything. You walk in. It's
like a mom almost feels like a mom

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and pop place. It's so quick, it's oh really yeah, yeah,

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yeah, oh yeah, totally worth
that way. They have it for whatever,

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ten years and you don't have to
think about it. That's a really

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good idea. Okay, don't the
kids though, if they're if they're under

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eighteen, you got to go John, right, that's not a problem.

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But I mean also if you take
them when they're under eighteen. Don't they

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have to go again when they're does
it not? I don't think it lasts

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if they're under ten years. Does
it still last if they're under eighteen,

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it's still last ten years. It
last a good chunk of time. It's

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not like, oh, two years
later, you have to do it again,

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right right, it's worth it.
I should do that over the summer

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and they take your picture there,
like it's all just so easy. Yeah,

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yeah, we did it at the
Van Eyespost dot com. Well,

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girl, that's like the busiest place. Everybody and their mother's going there.

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Okay. Yeah, that's why that
was. That was like a day.

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No. No, you got to
find the outlying places that are just like

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small and easy and nobody's there and
it's so easy, like it's so quick.

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Okay. And because remember Kaylin,
hi, Kylin, remember when all

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the Nett stories about trying to deal
with Sunny's passport and going down to the

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downtown, not the downtown, but
the one by veterans, the one in

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the FED the Federal building, and
most that you're desperate, like last minute

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passport. Okay, I think that's
easy. You just need a couple items.

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You just make sure you have all
the paperwork, it's all filled out,

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you get your I forgot exactly what
they need, they need, a

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birth certificate whatever. As long as
you have it all, it's it's it's

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as long as you're like, just
read through everything, make sure you have

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everything you need. It's not.
It's not that crazy. It seems like

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it's a big cashaw and it can
be, but if you're prepared, it's

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not. Yeah, no, I
remember, and you've been through this too.

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Now getting the permit, the driving
permit for Sadie, it is like

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you have to dig through your paperwork. You have to find something. It

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has to have the kid's name and
their birthdate on it. So I think

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ours was like something from our health
insurance. Well it should be like a

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birth certificate, well birth certificate,
and you know, because you can't use

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a you can't use like an electric
bill because it doesn't have their name on

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it. It has to be something
else that has their names, like school,

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a transcript, their transcripts, something
that proves their age and where they

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live. Yeah, yeah, and
their names. So I just remember just

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going through all the like, all
right, what do we have that meets

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this criteria? Because the last thing
you want is to go in there and

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they're like, no, we don't
accept this. Yes, and you know,

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first you have to upload all this
stuff, but then sometimes it doesn't

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go through or they're like, oh
well this we never received the you know

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whatever. I will say, though, the DMV has upped their game because

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you can do everything from your phone
now, like uploading. They're like,

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okay, now take a picture of
your you know, car insurance. Click

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you take it, it downloads.
Now take a picture birth certificate. Click

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on your phone. Like it's it's
much easier than it used to be.

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I was impressed. My problem is
I'm old, so when I'm trying to

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do it on my phone, everything's
so small. So I like to do

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it on my computer. But then
you can't like take the then you can't

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take Then you have to take the
picture. It adds like eighteen steps.

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You're they're like, okay, show
us the picture, and I'm like okay,

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So now I got to take the
picture on my phone. Then I

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have to email the picture from my
phone and my computer. Then I have

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to download it. Then I have
to figure out which download is what is

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it? Nineteen eighty girl, I
know, have your kids do it like

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with you there, do you know
what I mean? Like that so they

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can read, they can see the
phone. Oh my god, it's like

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a game changer. Yeah yeah,
here, I see your party. I

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see your point. This is I
gotta get with the times. Yeah,

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just try it next. I don't
know if there is a next time really,

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because they're like, when are they
getting their drives in my space,

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Julie. So it's really napster.
So Sadie, listen, Sadie's had her

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permit since last July. She got
her permit last July, so she has

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to go and she has to test
before julywise otherwise you have to take you

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have to try to get your permit
again. God, but the worst.

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Yeah, but she hasn't been ready. The girl has not been ready.

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Like when she drives, we're like, and she's had her lessons and all

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that. She's had all her lessons
plus and then some because we bought her

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an extra lesson and then when she
went on the extra lesson we did,

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we paid extra for a d m
V preparedness lesson where they go through the

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test with them. They take you
on the test, well they don't.

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They take you to something similar they're
actually not allowed. You can as a

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parent take them. They're not allowed, but they take them to they do.

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They go through it dry run,
and then her instructor was like,

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I give it fifty to fifteen.
She's not ready. Are you guys driving

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like just daily with her? No? No, because I got freaked out.

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I don't know. I had one
bad practice run with her and I

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was like, okay, I'm out, Like so John, And I think

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John swears that he's fine practicing with
her, but I don't think he is.

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I think he's he's anxious about it
too rarely. So we've committed that

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we're going to drive with her like
every day for two weeks and then just

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just take the test and see what
happens. It's worth at least trying to

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take the test because you have to
deal with the permit stuff again and taking

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that permit test. It's not easy
the permit test. No, So what

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happened with Sophie. Okay, So
Sophie's fifteen. She took the permit test

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and didn't pass the first time.
Oh she didn't know. You didn't put

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her through like we I was like, oh, hell no, I'm not

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doing this twice so yeah, oh
yeah, I made Sadie. I tested

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her over. We went over it
and over it and over it with sample

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tests. Stephanie, did you do
that too? We did everything, she

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did all the sample tests, this, that, that, like everything,

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and she just went in there and
I think got so nervous or something and

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just didn't do well. And then
she took it again like two weeks later

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and was fine. I passed.
So I don't know if she got psyched

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herself out. I don't really know, because we did all the things because

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Bella did. So you know,
everybody's done it. Everybody tells you,

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okay, take these practice test sics. When we would drive to school in

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the morning, I would, you
know, she would be like, Okay,

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here's the question, next question,
next question, and then she'd I'd

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be like, okay, so how
do you reason your way through the answers?

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And she was getting all of them. I was like, oh,

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dude, you're so prepared, honey, don't even worry. And she went

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in there and just worried and didn't
pass. But then she did pass.

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So now she will get her license
in October. Oh okay, yeah,

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yeah, so that's very exciting and
yeah, so and we're driving a lot

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with her. Oh you are okay, so I know that. Uh when

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I asked you to do the podcast, you said, So she has a

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driving lesson today with the company.
Yes, the dri driver said direct.

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00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:20,879
Yeah. So was this her first
one? Oh? No, second one?

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Okay? So in Los Angeles and
California you can't you have to get

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your permit, but then you can't
drive with your parents until you do one

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driving lesson first with the company.
Oh really, yes, I feel like

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I don't remember having to do that
with Bella, But I don't even feel

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like I had to do that with
Sadie. I don't remember them saying she

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has to have a life. When
they handed her her permit at the DMB,

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they said, you cannot drive until
you do a like a professional driving

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00:10:48,919 --> 00:10:50,399
lesson. And I was like,
oh no, you don't. Like in

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00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,840
my mind, you know, so
she and I would drive right around the

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00:10:52,879 --> 00:10:56,720
neighborhood. Yeah. I don't know
how they would know, but because then

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when she did her first lesson,
he signed off on the actual permit.

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00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,759
You know how you get a paper
permit. He had There was a spot

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00:11:03,759 --> 00:11:05,240
for him to sign on the paper
permit. So if she got pulled over,

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they would see that signature, so
I guess that's how they would technically

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00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:13,720
know. I don't know whatever.
So she did that, and now this

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is less than number two. I
think she's doing. She's a good driver.

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00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:22,320
Except she's a good driver. I'm
fine driving with her. But dude,

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00:11:22,399 --> 00:11:28,759
we were just driving down like Louise
to Lasten and Lassen can be a

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00:11:28,799 --> 00:11:33,519
busy street. So we're let's say
we're driving north and we needed to turn

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00:11:33,639 --> 00:11:35,679
right. So you know, it's
a red light for us, so you

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00:11:35,759 --> 00:11:41,320
stop before the line and then you
inch inch inch to see if any cars

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00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:45,600
are coming, and you turn right. Dude, she just went straight through

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00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:50,879
the red light and started turning.
I was like, it took me screaming

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00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,080
stop three times for her to slam
on the brake, and I was like,

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00:11:54,159 --> 00:11:56,480
do you know what just happened?
She's like, oh my god.

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00:11:56,799 --> 00:12:00,360
I just like I didn't even like, oh my god, it's didn't even

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00:12:00,399 --> 00:12:03,919
register. I'm like, dude,
that's scary that that didn't register, because

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00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,600
if there was a car coming,
we would have gotten slammed into, do

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00:12:07,639 --> 00:12:09,279
you know what I mean? Because
we had she had inched out, yeah,

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00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:13,279
just enough. She hadn't made the
right but very close to turn about

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00:12:13,279 --> 00:12:18,840
to turn right. Our adrenaline was
going, and then we got to where

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we needed to go. She's like, can you drive home? I'm like,

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00:12:20,919 --> 00:12:22,919
yeah, we're good. You don't. I'm not gonna stress, like

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00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:26,759
you don't need to be driving well
stressed. So that was scary, but

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00:12:26,799 --> 00:12:31,399
other than that, it's been really
good. So Sadie has just had a

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00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:35,639
couple of those things too, where
like one time John was driving with her

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00:12:35,639 --> 00:12:39,759
and told her we're going to take
a left hand turn and he said that

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00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:43,080
she just started veering right, like
she almost changed lank. Oh jeez.

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00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,440
He's like, I don't know,
something happened in her brain seat dyslexic,

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00:12:46,759 --> 00:12:50,120
like yeah, and she just started
going to the right and he was like,

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00:12:50,879 --> 00:12:56,279
what are you doing? Like without
blinker without she just like w and

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00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:58,639
he was like, what is happening
right now? And then she of course

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00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:03,279
same thing, was like oh oh
wait what I don't know. I yeah,

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00:13:03,799 --> 00:13:07,519
I don't like that. I don't
like that. That scared me because

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00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:11,000
she's never been that way. Like
she's very you know, when you're a

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00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:15,720
new driver, you're like everything is
on high alert, right and this she

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00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:18,000
just like kept going and I'm like, it's a red light. It's she's

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00:13:18,039 --> 00:13:20,840
not really going. Oh my god, stop, like she just went right.

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And the problem is we don't have
those specialized cars right where we can

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00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:30,879
put on the brakes. I'm on
the brake. Imagine me driving with John

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00:13:30,919 --> 00:13:35,000
though if I had a set of
fast breaks, I would be divorced or

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00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:39,679
John would be wearing a neck brace
because you know so much with flash.

204
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:45,440
Oh yeah, I'm the worst.
I'm the worst. I I can't it's

205
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:48,240
getting worse. It's not getting better. Control issues, Like it's a control

206
00:13:48,279 --> 00:13:52,600
issue of like needing to feel in
control. I mean, I think that's

207
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:56,039
very normal to want, like and
so when you're in the back seat or

208
00:13:56,039 --> 00:13:58,600
on the drive, everything seems like
it's wrong, like oh my god,

209
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,080
you're about to hit the cars on
the right that are parked, yes,

210
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:05,120
But when you're driving you're like,
no, I'm not. I'm very far

211
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,840
from them. Like just all those
little things you're goin so fun. Why

212
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:11,120
are you still getting that car?
Yeah? Oh I got like just all

213
00:14:11,159 --> 00:14:16,519
of it. It is so so
you have a passenger. I mean in

214
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:20,120
my mind, I have it,
but I don't say it like I'm just

215
00:14:20,159 --> 00:14:22,120
like no, he knows what he's
doing. This is my anxiety. I

216
00:14:22,159 --> 00:14:26,639
need to chill, Okay, but
you do have because we sure it's well

217
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:30,480
documented that you have issues with anxiety. Yes, it is well documented.

218
00:14:30,559 --> 00:14:33,879
I haven't made fun of a lot
for my anxiety, but I can't help

219
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:39,279
it. But my anxiety is different
than yours because I don't have like day

220
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:43,320
to day anxieties about little things.
I try to have the attitude of don't

221
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:46,600
sweat the small stuff. Everything's cool, We're gonna be fine. Until it's

222
00:14:46,639 --> 00:14:50,039
not fine. And then I'm like
calling you crying because I can't drive my

223
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:56,360
car and I've become agoraphobic, and
so I get like the big Oh my

224
00:14:56,399 --> 00:14:58,840
god, you're having a melt down. The world is caving in panic attacks.

225
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,279
Yeah, I can't eat, I
can't sleep that, so I have

226
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:07,720
like, oh, I can always
eat. I have that a problem,

227
00:15:07,759 --> 00:15:13,919
But I haven't had that so twenty
nineteen, as I mentioned on the podcast,

228
00:15:13,039 --> 00:15:18,639
way back then, I had like
a complete nervous breakdown, which now

229
00:15:18,679 --> 00:15:24,440
I know was well through lots of
therapy and EMDR and acupuncture and medication and

230
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:31,799
journaling and meditation. Was all stemming
from the lawsuit with against my stepmom for

231
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:35,960
elder abuse, and then my sister
deciding she's never going to talk to me

232
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:41,679
and my brother again because of all
of that. So everything came crashing down

233
00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:45,159
in twenty nineteen, and I thought
in my mind I was handling this all

234
00:15:45,159 --> 00:15:48,320
so well, you know. I
was like, you know what it is,

235
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,679
what it is, it's a lawsuit. It sucks, but we're going

236
00:15:50,759 --> 00:15:52,519
to get through it, blah blah
blah. And then it just it wasn't

237
00:15:52,559 --> 00:15:56,759
okay. You know how you think
everything's fine, and meanwhile your body's keeping

238
00:15:56,799 --> 00:16:00,200
the score all that stuff, so
it sure. And then in October of

239
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:04,080
twenty nineteen, I literally lost my
shit. Like I told my husband,

240
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:07,159
I'm like, I need to go
to hospital. I'm I don't know what's

241
00:16:07,159 --> 00:16:10,399
wrong with me. And he's like, you don't need to go to hospital.

242
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:14,320
We're gonna get you help. And
that's when I went psychiatrist, therapists

243
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:21,000
and just took six months to heal
myself with medication, with therapy, with

244
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:25,279
EMDR, like I said, meditation, journaling, all those things so that

245
00:16:25,399 --> 00:16:27,440
I feel like is more my anxiety. It's it's the panic attacks called the

246
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:30,759
ambulance. Something's wrong with me.
Kind of thing, whereas yours is a

247
00:16:30,799 --> 00:16:34,720
little more like. I remember calling
I had to call paramedics for you.

248
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,159
Yep. Yeah, early in our
friendship, very early in our friendship.

249
00:16:38,159 --> 00:16:41,559
The kids were little. Yeah.
Yeah, man, I remember calling you.

250
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:45,799
I'm like, can you come over? I'm I'm not well, like

251
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,480
but I thought I thought it was
physically ill. Yeah, yeah, yeah

252
00:16:48,519 --> 00:16:53,279
yeah. And then I remember being
like, Okay, what's going on and

253
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,840
You're like, well, I had
diarrhea this morning and my stomach hurts.

254
00:16:56,879 --> 00:17:00,320
And I was like okay, and
you're like and I have little blood pressure

255
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,960
and I feel really weak. And
I was like, okay, what do

256
00:17:04,039 --> 00:17:07,759
you want me to do? And
you're like just just hang with me,

257
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,119
like cause I think I think he
did you have both kids. I think

258
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:15,759
maybe just Bella, probably just or
or Sophe was tiny or something. I

259
00:17:15,799 --> 00:17:18,640
don't remember. I might have been
just Bella because I think he just had

260
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:22,920
Bella. And then I remember you
were like, call call Jamil. Yeah.

261
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:29,039
I called him and he was like
uh huh, and I was like

262
00:17:29,559 --> 00:17:33,519
dude, like she well, I
probably didn't say dude till later, but

263
00:17:33,599 --> 00:17:36,039
I was like, well, oh, I think I said, Julie wants

264
00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:38,559
me to call like the parent call
nine one one, but I'm calling you

265
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:41,240
first. And he was like,
okay, yeah, you can call nine

266
00:17:41,279 --> 00:17:47,799
one one and I said, okay, well, I mean like you don't

267
00:17:47,839 --> 00:17:49,400
sound I don't know if I said, like you sound fine with that,

268
00:17:49,599 --> 00:17:53,200
and he's like, yeah, it's
this has happened before. She's okay,

269
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:56,680
she's okay, but go ahead and
call nine one one. Like if she

270
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:59,000
wants you to call nine one one, call nine one one. He wasn't,

271
00:17:59,039 --> 00:18:00,079
like, I don't give a shit. Yeah, I was like,

272
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:03,559
I'll meet her at the hot Yeah, I'll meet her at the hospital.

273
00:18:03,079 --> 00:18:07,440
And so I called nine one one
and then they came over and then they

274
00:18:07,519 --> 00:18:12,480
checked all your vitals and totally fine. I don't remember realizing that this was

275
00:18:12,519 --> 00:18:18,400
maybe anxiety. I didn't either well
when the paramedics came, I remember I

276
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,039
was on the couch and I'm like, you, guys, I have panic

277
00:18:21,039 --> 00:18:22,920
attacks, but this is not a
panic attack, Like I know what that

278
00:18:23,079 --> 00:18:27,440
is, and this is something is
wrong. And then after that I bought

279
00:18:27,799 --> 00:18:32,119
a blood glucose monitoring machine because I'm
like, no, you know what it

280
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:33,960
is. I might be diabetic,
I might have a little blood glucose so

281
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:38,559
I was checking my blood sugars like
after dude, it was all a fucking

282
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:44,599
panic attack. Like, yeah,
but that was before any craziness happened.

283
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:48,440
Yeah, your dad was still alive
at that yes, yes, so so

284
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,799
that was just your net. That's
how I started having panic attacks in my

285
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:56,200
early twenties out of nowhere, Like
I still to this day can't attribute my

286
00:18:56,279 --> 00:19:02,599
panic attacks to like things so specific. Like I think for a lot of

287
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,839
people out there who have panic attacks, you're just going along with your life

288
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:07,359
and then you feel like you're gonna
die and the world is closing in and

289
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:11,319
it's doom and gloom. It's fight
or flight, and you're like, what

290
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,440
the fuck I'm watching a TV show
or I'm going for a jog, or

291
00:19:14,519 --> 00:19:17,880
I'm you know, at work,
why or I'm driving? Why am I

292
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:21,400
having a fucking panic attack? Nothing's
wrong, that's how bad it is,

293
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:22,920
Like it just comes on like that. So I've had them since my twenties.

294
00:19:23,039 --> 00:19:27,920
Yeah, you remember when Elbe first
had a panic attack? Yes,

295
00:19:29,519 --> 00:19:33,119
very well at that and I usually
have any idea what was going on.

296
00:19:33,559 --> 00:19:38,599
Yep. Let's let's take a quick
break and then we will whoa, we'll

297
00:19:38,599 --> 00:19:42,960
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344
00:23:32,559 --> 00:23:36,119
you were with me when LB,
and you didn't even say, oh,

345
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:38,599
I know what this is because it
always looks different with every person. That's

346
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:44,559
right, totally and honestly, sometimes
what you're feeling inside is not what's being

347
00:23:44,599 --> 00:23:48,599
projected to people that you're with.
So LB inside was probably having the worst

348
00:23:48,599 --> 00:23:52,559
panic attack of our life. But
to me it looked like, oh,

349
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:56,720
LB scared of a riptide. It
didn't seem like an overwhelming fear, doom,

350
00:23:56,799 --> 00:24:00,599
gloom. This riptide's gonna kill me
and my family right now. But

351
00:24:00,599 --> 00:24:03,680
that's how she was feeling. You
know, we did have to leave the

352
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:07,519
beach because of it. I did
remember that. I tried to, you

353
00:24:07,559 --> 00:24:11,440
know, calm her down. I
was like, I didn't understand, was

354
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:19,359
it a well what happened is what
happened was the riptide. Uh. The

355
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:22,039
lifeguard told all the kids to get
out of the water because there was a

356
00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:27,880
riptide. Albie didn't know what a
riptide was, but apparently she'd already been

357
00:24:29,279 --> 00:24:32,480
so she was like nine at this
time, eight or nine, and she

358
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:38,759
had seen something about tsunamis okay,
fine, yeah, riptide just in her

359
00:24:38,799 --> 00:24:42,039
brain scrambled her brain like, I
don't know what that is. That sounds

360
00:24:42,079 --> 00:24:48,720
really scary. We're at the beach, she's actually, she says, so

361
00:24:48,759 --> 00:24:51,839
that everybody got out of the water. But then when the lifeguard said okay,

362
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:53,079
you can all get back in the
water, Albi was like, oh,

363
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:56,759
hell no. You got back in
the water with my kids, I

364
00:24:56,759 --> 00:25:00,359
think, and your kids and your
kids. I was having a great time

365
00:25:00,799 --> 00:25:03,079
and Elbie was like, okay,
can we go home? Can we go?

366
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:04,799
Please go home? And I was
like, wait, why, Yeah,

367
00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:08,160
I want to go home, and
my stomach hurts. I don't I

368
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:12,119
don't want to. I don't want
to go in the water. And I

369
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:15,720
was like, well, okay,
but just then you don't have to go

370
00:25:15,799 --> 00:25:18,640
in the water, but go sit
on the towel, which is the right

371
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:22,680
thing as a parent to say,
because if you every time your kid is

372
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:26,920
freaked out, you leave a scene, they'll never learn coping skills, resilience,

373
00:25:26,279 --> 00:25:29,519
all those things. So I think
that was the at the time it

374
00:25:29,559 --> 00:25:32,319
felt like the right thing to say. I hadn't even seen that before.

375
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:36,599
Like I knew that my kid was
quirky. I knew that there were things

376
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:41,200
that she worried about, like doorries. Yes, like big headed Dora.

377
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:47,480
Oh, big headed Dora coming at
her trying to say hello. That was

378
00:25:47,839 --> 00:25:52,079
but you can always there were I
could always go like, well, some

379
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:56,400
kids think that a big headed Dora
is like not friendly. Yes, that's

380
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:57,920
for sure. That's normal. When
you're a kid, you can have a

381
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:02,880
lot of weird, anxiet and scary
things that you don't think are permanent.

382
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:04,240
They're like, oh, well they're
little, so they don't know any better,

383
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:11,599
right. But I remember, at
like three years old and for preschool

384
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:17,039
age, she had a lot of
like what I thought were weird concerns.

385
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:21,640
Remember like are we going to be
late to school or to anywhere? Yes,

386
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:26,000
anywhere? And also her biggest one
was not wanting to go to somebody's

387
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:33,119
house to go swimming unless they like
explicitly said we're going swimming. She wouldn't

388
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:37,119
wear a bathing suit. She was
very very self conscious, and I remember

389
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:41,640
looking it up and understanding that kids
shouldn't be really self conscious until they're like

390
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:48,359
eight or nine. That's when actual
self conscious, like where if she would

391
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:52,079
have fun, like let's say experimenting
with like temporary tattoos, but then if

392
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:56,319
we were going to someone's house,
she would get freaked out and go like

393
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:57,759
I have to wash these off.
I have to wash these off. Where

394
00:26:57,759 --> 00:27:03,400
it's like hi, in my I
did not understand it at all. I

395
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:07,720
was just like what why? And
then her obsession with being late didn't get

396
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:11,759
it from me, like, it's
not like anything bad had happened, like

397
00:27:11,799 --> 00:27:15,359
we'd been gone somewhere late and been
shamed. It didn't seem to come from

398
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:19,240
anywhere but her head. And then
I think, I remember, I've talked

399
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:23,039
about this on the podcast, but
I had called up a therapist. Basically,

400
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:29,599
well, I had a phone call
with one, and she said,

401
00:27:30,519 --> 00:27:33,559
it sounds like social anxiety and here's
some things you can do. But I

402
00:27:33,559 --> 00:27:37,920
don't think that she should have therapy. I think it would be too much.

403
00:27:37,079 --> 00:27:41,599
It's too young. So I was
like okay, and then she said,

404
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:45,079
see how it goes when she starts
school. So she was probably like

405
00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:48,680
four and a half five, and
then she was starting kindergarten at like five

406
00:27:48,839 --> 00:27:52,599
years and ten months, and a
lot of it kind of went away when

407
00:27:52,599 --> 00:27:55,880
she was in school. I just
didn't notice it as much, and she

408
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:59,680
was a real well adjusted kid and
did not seem anxious at school. And

409
00:27:59,759 --> 00:28:03,079
then all of a sudden, like
three years later, at the beach,

410
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:07,759
so it kind of came out of
nowhere. Yeah, that's and then we

411
00:28:07,799 --> 00:28:11,359
went to your mom's house to go
swimming, so we left the beach.

412
00:28:11,839 --> 00:28:15,200
We were like, we're not going
to talk her into staying at the beach.

413
00:28:15,279 --> 00:28:18,799
She was crying and crying, saying
her stomach her We needed to leave.

414
00:28:19,599 --> 00:28:22,519
So we were like, we should
just go to your mom's pool.

415
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:27,720
Yeah, yeah, got there.
Then she was obsessed with how close we

416
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:32,039
were to the beach. Then it
turned into a thing about tsunamis. It

417
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:37,599
like morphed into how far are we
from the beach? How many miles is

418
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:42,400
could a tsunami get us? Could
a tsunami go over the Santa Monica Mountains

419
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:47,440
from Malibu to Enzino? Yeah?
I remember that. We're like, no,

420
00:28:47,519 --> 00:28:52,359
we are so far from there.
And then the anxiety just lasted and

421
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:56,440
lasted, and then it just kept
changing. So we went to go see

422
00:28:56,720 --> 00:29:02,160
remember those friends I had that were
lived they they moved to Holland. Remember

423
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:07,039
these people that moved to Holland and
unschooled their kids. Yes, I totally.

424
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:10,880
This is when I first heard about
unschooling. Yes, didn't they move

425
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:14,079
to the East Coast or something?
I thought, Yes, she was from

426
00:29:14,119 --> 00:29:15,559
Holland. Yeah, she was Dutch, but she Yes, they moved to

427
00:29:15,599 --> 00:29:22,160
the East Coast and started going to
a school. That's that's unschooling in Sudbury,

428
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:26,000
Massachusetts. Yeah, I remember that. And one of the reasons they

429
00:29:26,039 --> 00:29:30,160
moved there was to go to this
school. Yes, is not school,

430
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:33,119
which is not school. No,
it's not school. It's nothing close to

431
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:40,079
school. It's it's it's non school. It's it's not even childcare. Because

432
00:29:40,119 --> 00:29:44,880
there was like they could just do
whatever they want on their phone. Them

433
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:49,079
they want to sit in a tree. They're fine. Their daughter, I

434
00:29:49,119 --> 00:29:56,279
mean, their older daughter is like
was living van life for a while,

435
00:29:56,359 --> 00:30:00,119
Jesus from school, from unschooling to
van life. Yeah, and then the

436
00:30:00,279 --> 00:30:04,720
younger daughter. I'm not really sure, but like they're fine. Uh but

437
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:10,799
yeah, are they? I mean
they seem they seem like they're fine.

438
00:30:11,319 --> 00:30:15,039
Yeah. So that family though,
would come into town. Oh my god.

439
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:19,680
Remember this is going way back we're
going way back, but to remember

440
00:30:19,839 --> 00:30:22,880
when. And Lynette and I used
to laugh about this because she had a

441
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:26,319
family that would go somewhere far away
and then would come into town. They

442
00:30:26,359 --> 00:30:32,680
would come once a year, and
she would start emailing me like months ahead

443
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:34,200
of time and be like, I
want to reserve our time with you,

444
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:38,759
like in July, and it would
always entail me having to drive to Pallas

445
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:44,400
Vera days like, god, yes, two hours away to hang out at

446
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:48,920
the their pool pool. Yes,
oh my god. Well, so we

447
00:30:48,039 --> 00:30:53,000
had made plans and she would be
very adamant about like that has to happen

448
00:30:53,039 --> 00:30:59,279
on this day. So we had
to drive down there. And Elbe had

449
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:03,359
just had her PA attack like days
like, not long before, and she

450
00:31:03,559 --> 00:31:07,880
was not a killas Verdes is.
On the water basically it's yes, except

451
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:11,160
that this wasn't even like you could
see the beach. We weren't. You're

452
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:15,000
up on the cliffs. You're up
on the cliffs. Yeah, And it

453
00:31:15,079 --> 00:31:18,240
was just basically a swimming pool.
But it just so happened there was a

454
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:22,319
freaking storm. It was hot out
but there was a storm, so we

455
00:31:22,319 --> 00:31:26,039
were swimming, but then we had
to go inside because there was like lightning.

456
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:30,960
Oh right, oh god. Elbe
was like having none of it.

457
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:33,319
She was just like, oh,
hell to the no, we need to

458
00:31:33,319 --> 00:31:37,440
go home immediately. And I was
like, bitch, please, we just

459
00:31:37,519 --> 00:31:41,079
drove two hours in traffic. We
are not turning around and going home.

460
00:31:41,359 --> 00:31:44,799
Plus my friend's been haranguing me for
a month, this has been on the

461
00:31:44,839 --> 00:31:47,720
calendar, and you know, I
was starting to be like oh, but

462
00:31:47,799 --> 00:31:51,240
Elbe was like I'm gonna throw up. I'm gonna have diarrhea, like she

463
00:31:51,759 --> 00:31:56,359
was being a total Julie Yeah,
like I'd seen this before. Yes,

464
00:31:56,680 --> 00:32:00,119
but she was like, mom,
mom, I feel weak, have diarrhea.

465
00:32:00,279 --> 00:32:05,079
And I was like, okay,
I'm not really sure what to do

466
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,960
because meanwhile, my friend will just
call her a. My friend was like,

467
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:12,240
what you're gonna lead? I was
like I don't know. I don't

468
00:32:12,279 --> 00:32:15,880
know how long I can get Elbe
to stay. And she a was like

469
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:22,440
what are you talking about? Like
I've made a charcoterie board. You're not

470
00:32:22,599 --> 00:32:25,599
going anywhere, like I've been planning
this for a year. And I was

471
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:29,440
like, I know, but do
you see do you see what I'm dealing

472
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,519
with? I don't know what right, I don't know what's wrong with her

473
00:32:32,319 --> 00:32:36,279
because honestly, I was like,
this is not my child, because I

474
00:32:36,359 --> 00:32:38,759
have very different anxieties. I do
not have the panic thing, right,

475
00:32:39,079 --> 00:32:43,359
So I was just like, I
don't know, she's broken. I don't

476
00:32:44,079 --> 00:32:47,880
I can't reason with her. Then
then there was like it was like a

477
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:51,759
tsunami and it was like what if
we get hit by lightning? And it

478
00:32:51,799 --> 00:32:53,880
was just like one thing after another, and I'm like, elbe, like,

479
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:57,880
we're not We're out of the pool, Like we're fine, we don't

480
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:00,920
have to go swimming. Why don't
you just lay in A's bedroom and watch

481
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:04,559
a movie? And she was like
no, because then it was like,

482
00:33:04,599 --> 00:33:08,359
but no, we're too close to
the ocean. So while I'm watching a

483
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:12,640
movie, we're gonna get hit by
a title wave. Like you know,

484
00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:15,559
I'm not going to fall for that. Oh I can't even see the wave

485
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:19,319
coming. You want me to be
stuck in some room where I don't even

486
00:33:19,359 --> 00:33:23,480
have good visuals, you know?
And I was like okay, okay,

487
00:33:24,119 --> 00:33:29,680
we'll go, you know, so
we go home. It was like a

488
00:33:30,799 --> 00:33:35,119
like a week long panic attack.
I remember, didn't you have to stay

489
00:33:35,119 --> 00:33:37,160
in her room until she fell asleep? Then it came. Then it became

490
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:42,759
so oh my gosh, you'll remember
this because we had plans to go to

491
00:33:42,839 --> 00:33:46,400
the Voice uh, to the Voice
of the touring. The taping of it

492
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:50,160
was a voice summer tour. Okay, is that what it was? Yes?

493
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:52,759
So they were like the top with
Laura hen No, it was just

494
00:33:52,799 --> 00:33:58,599
you and me and our kids,
so just the older kids, I think.

495
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:02,160
Yeah, So Elbe it was like
gonna be like the next day or

496
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:06,960
something, and Elbe would not go
to sleep, like she kept saying,

497
00:34:07,039 --> 00:34:09,800
I can't, I'm having bad thoughts. Maybe this started a couple of days

498
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:13,639
before and she was like, I
need you to come in my room.

499
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:16,480
I I can't. I can't be
in my room by myself. This is

500
00:34:16,599 --> 00:34:21,000
never She'd never been a kid like
that. Yeah, so I'm like,

501
00:34:22,079 --> 00:34:25,639
what, like, I I got
two other smaller ones like I don't,

502
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:30,559
I can't, Like I can't you
need sleep yourself. It's so then,

503
00:34:31,119 --> 00:34:35,280
I mean, we tried everything and
she just wouldn't. So then it was

504
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,519
I threatened her with if you won't
go in your room and go to sleep,

505
00:34:38,559 --> 00:34:42,639
you're not gonna You're And I didn't
make it like a punishment. I

506
00:34:42,679 --> 00:34:44,760
was like, then you're gonna be
too tired to go to the sea the

507
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:50,800
voice, yeah tomorrow, and she
was I could see the like computing happening

508
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,960
in her brain and she was just
like okay, all right. So she

509
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:58,679
went back in her room and then
she came back out and she was like,

510
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:00,840
I know I won't be able to
go see the voice, but I

511
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:05,519
just can't. I'm scared and I'm
having bad thoughts. So I had to

512
00:35:05,559 --> 00:35:07,880
go in her room, lay in
her bed with her and like rub her

513
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:12,239
back and stay with her. And
then it was that thing where if I

514
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:15,800
tried, just like if I thought
she was asleep, and I would try

515
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:20,800
to even move an in, she'd
be like, I'm not asleep. So

516
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,320
I did bring her to the voice, and then I was like, then

517
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:28,360
I bought a book that was like
when your dread, when your kid dreads

518
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:32,800
the bed or something. And then
and then I got her therapy, which

519
00:35:34,079 --> 00:35:37,119
but I had her life. I
had to lay in bed with her every

520
00:35:37,199 --> 00:35:40,039
single night, and remember weeks until
we got in with the therapist. Yep,

521
00:35:40,199 --> 00:35:45,079
I remember that. And then the
therapist went over all the old like

522
00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:49,559
we I told her the history and
then she was like, okay, well

523
00:35:49,559 --> 00:35:52,039
there you go. She has an
anxiety disorder, and I was like,

524
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:58,400
oh shit, Yeah, but at
that time, I don't remember feeling like

525
00:35:59,519 --> 00:36:02,280
I had. I my anxiety has
gotten worse as I've gotten older. I

526
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:07,679
don't remember being super anxious back then. I can't. Oh you mean as

527
00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:10,679
a mom, Well, I had
an I had postpartum anxiety, for sure,

528
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,719
but by then it was that was
gone like I had. I was

529
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:16,400
medicated for that. I seem mellow
as a mom, like, I don't

530
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:22,760
remember you you'd never seemed like high
strung or worried about this, worried about

531
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:24,639
that you were We're all as mothers, of course, we're all worried,

532
00:36:24,639 --> 00:36:28,760
but it wasn't out of them.
It was normal. It was crazy,

533
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,079
not at all at that time.
Yeah, that's only got that's like the

534
00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:37,159
driving stuff that's gotten worse as for
sure older. But I'm just saying I

535
00:36:37,199 --> 00:36:38,599
didn't know where it came from.
I was like, I don't know.

536
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:43,280
John's doesn't have that, and I
don't. But I think it was a

537
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:46,800
combination of our genes. It's amazing
how well therapy worked for her. I

538
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:52,079
know she did, like, is
it like immersion therapy or what's it called

539
00:36:52,559 --> 00:36:57,480
exposure? They yeah, which they
I mean it was incredible. I mean

540
00:36:57,559 --> 00:37:00,000
nine months is a long time,
but it worked. I mean, this

541
00:37:00,079 --> 00:37:06,840
girl's like going to raves in San
Bernardino like and getting some random Airbnb Like

542
00:37:07,559 --> 00:37:12,039
Wow. An anxious person would look
at that and be like that sounds horrible.

543
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:15,159
I don't even like this is a
Stephanie. What do you mean in

544
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:16,320
Airbnb? Yea, I don't even
know what that is. How do we

545
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:19,360
do it? What do I sign
up? I gotta get a pass for

546
00:37:19,519 --> 00:37:25,280
Airbnb? You're like Jerry Seinfeld.
Who are are these people that just log

547
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:30,039
onto a website and go somewhere exactly
there's no key? What do you mean

548
00:37:30,079 --> 00:37:35,239
there's no key go into someone's house
that you don't know. Why would I

549
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:42,000
do that? Okay, before we
move on, let's talk about nutrifall.

550
00:37:42,199 --> 00:37:49,000
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is it works for whatever your reason is

551
00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:53,119
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Yeah, but I would say the number

552
00:37:53,119 --> 00:37:58,519
one cause for a lot of women
is menopause, hormonal changes. You know,

553
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:02,360
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554
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it consistently. It's just a supplement. Pop it every day before you know

555
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is happening? My hair is not shedding

556
00:38:12,039 --> 00:38:16,360
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noticing like fuller hairline. My part is

557
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like filling in. It's kind of
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558
00:38:21,599 --> 00:38:22,880
know what it is. I don't
know if it's voodoo, I don't know,

559
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but this works amazing. Lynette's been
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560
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:32,880
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561
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:38,559
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562
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566
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567
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568
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569
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570
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571
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572
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573
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574
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578
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579
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583
00:40:29,559 --> 00:40:35,519
Cafe. You're on Tropic time now. Okay, So when you were getting

584
00:40:35,519 --> 00:40:38,760
your therapy, yes, what do
you think what worked? Like of all

585
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:43,079
the stuff that you were doing,
what do you think really started like the

586
00:40:43,079 --> 00:40:46,320
breakthrough for you? Because that was
a process. Yeah, So I think

587
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:54,199
what initially helped was getting on some
medication, like basically a long acting xanax,

588
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:58,400
which I of course was like,
no way, I'm not getting on

589
00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:00,280
any xanax. That's addictive. I
don't wanta da da da da. And

590
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:05,760
my psychiatrist is like, please do
what I'm saying. You need to get

591
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:10,519
to a point where you can function
like on a normal basis so that you

592
00:41:10,559 --> 00:41:15,079
can then go to therapy and talk
to a therapist. Right now, You're

593
00:41:15,159 --> 00:41:16,840
like, you know, I was
just I was just in a state of

594
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:21,280
panic, like I couldn't function,
I couldn't eat, I could literally couldn't

595
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:22,760
drive. My mom had to pick
up the girls from school and bring them

596
00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:27,079
home, she had to make them
food. I was just I was like

597
00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:32,719
useless. So anyway, so I
already take Paxel twenty milligrams every day since

598
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:36,679
I was in my twenties for my
panic disorder, and then he put me

599
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:38,960
on a milligram of long acting xanax. And for you guys that are familiar

600
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:43,360
with that, that's pretty dang For
me at least, that's strong. Yeah,

601
00:41:43,559 --> 00:41:47,519
and that's long act os. Yeah. It helped milly, but not

602
00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:52,480
enough. So then I went to
two milligrams long acting, which is nuts.

603
00:41:52,519 --> 00:41:54,639
Usually you do a short act you
know, if you're having a panic

604
00:41:54,639 --> 00:41:57,679
attack, you do short acting in
the last four hours. You're fine,

605
00:41:57,679 --> 00:42:00,920
You're better. When I when I
was POSTPARTU with LP and finally got help

606
00:42:01,039 --> 00:42:04,920
for anxiety, I was on a
milligram in the morning, at a milligram

607
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:07,679
at night. Okay, yeah,
And honestly, you know, I'm not

608
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:12,440
out there pushing medication or anything,
and I didn't think I needed it.

609
00:42:12,679 --> 00:42:15,480
I needed it. So that helped
me get to a place where I could

610
00:42:15,559 --> 00:42:20,480
function and I could drive. I
mean, on two milligrams of long egg

611
00:42:20,519 --> 00:42:23,679
dexiantics, I'm driving completely normal.
I'm not tired, I'm not anything.

612
00:42:24,159 --> 00:42:30,840
It wasn't nothing. It was just
making me smith like. It just made

613
00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:37,440
me back to feeling somewhat normal.
Then I could attack the therapy. What

614
00:42:37,559 --> 00:42:43,440
I really felt helped as well,
was I think the most. The thing

615
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:45,199
that helped me the most was the
E MDR, which is a trauma therapy,

616
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:50,000
a type of trauma therapy. You
guys can look at it the eye

617
00:42:50,119 --> 00:42:55,039
movement. I think desensitization and reprogramming, something like that. I am sorry

618
00:42:55,119 --> 00:42:59,679
if I'm getting it wrong, but
yeah, it's something like that, and

619
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:02,920
it's just a type of therapy.
And you start with your first trauma.

620
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:07,079
Now, trauma can look different to
everybody, right. It can be something

621
00:43:07,079 --> 00:43:10,880
that happens once somebody breaks into your
house. You're traumatized. It can be

622
00:43:12,159 --> 00:43:15,840
you know, uh something, it
can be, it can be anything.

623
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:22,519
For me, it was a a
a long acting, sustained kind of trauma

624
00:43:22,519 --> 00:43:30,119
that I just endured with my dad's
wife basically, and just everything she had

625
00:43:30,199 --> 00:43:35,280
put us through in the psychological manipulation
of my father was horrible. Is beyond

626
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:38,880
horrible, that's anyway. So I
went back to when I first felt like

627
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:42,920
out of control. They want to
know, like, name your trauma,

628
00:43:43,079 --> 00:43:45,199
name what you felt, and I
said, I felt out of control out

629
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:50,840
I couldn't. I had no power, I had no without going into so

630
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:52,719
much. So you start then,
so what's your first memory of feeling out

631
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:57,360
of control. Okay, well I
can remember and you know when I was

632
00:43:57,400 --> 00:44:00,480
about five and this happened, this
happened. Okay, we're gonna art there.

633
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:05,880
And then you do this like tapping, and the therapist does a tapping

634
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:09,000
and you watch her tapping with your
eyes as you yourself are just kind of

635
00:44:09,039 --> 00:44:13,039
thinking about it and processing it,
and you may be crying, you may

636
00:44:13,039 --> 00:44:19,199
be doing nothing and anyway, okay, now let's rename that emotion. So

637
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:22,760
you felt out of control, how
do you feel now? Well, I

638
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:28,199
feel. So what you're doing is
you're reprogramming every kind of trauma that you

639
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:32,800
had and how you felt and programming
it to feeling like, Okay, now

640
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:37,559
I feel in control. Now I
feel like I have the say, I

641
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:40,679
have choices I can make that can
get me out of a situation or things

642
00:44:40,679 --> 00:44:45,480
like that. So every memory that
you have that brings up these feelings,

643
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:51,000
you then work through them. It
could take three four sessions to get through

644
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:53,199
one memory. It could take one
session to get through one memory. At

645
00:44:53,199 --> 00:44:57,239
the end of it, when you
feel like you have processed it through this

646
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:01,760
tapping and eye movement and crying and
whatever you need to do, to get

647
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:07,800
through it. You then give it
a positive like emotion, Okay, I

648
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:12,800
feel in control now whatever it is. And so that's what you do.

649
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:19,239
And so that took a good six
months of that. So this all started

650
00:45:19,239 --> 00:45:22,440
in October of twenty nineteen. By
June of twenty twenty, I was off

651
00:45:22,639 --> 00:45:27,559
all the medication. I was off
everything, and I was like, oh

652
00:45:27,559 --> 00:45:30,679
my god, oh my god,
I like starting. I'm like feel like

653
00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:36,519
I'm okay now. And so I
would say between and honestly, I meditated

654
00:45:36,679 --> 00:45:39,519
every single day. I just did
a ten minute meditation on the com app.

655
00:45:39,639 --> 00:45:43,320
They have like a daily ten minute
meditation. Is it guided? It

656
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:45,519
was guided. I'm not sitting there
in quiet like I can't do all my

657
00:45:45,599 --> 00:45:50,400
my brain goes crazy. I try
to meditate with nothing exactly. No,

658
00:45:50,519 --> 00:45:53,119
this was just listening to someone say
take some deep breaths, okay now,

659
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:55,480
you know, and then they'll say, okay, today we're going to talk

660
00:45:55,519 --> 00:45:59,239
about blah blah blah, and then
they'll do a little talk while you're just

661
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:04,360
listening to this music. One hundred
percent that helped me because now even though

662
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:07,480
I don't meditate anymore, I can
take a deep breath and feel my entire

663
00:46:07,519 --> 00:46:12,159
body relax, like it programmed.
You know, if you do it enough,

664
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:15,280
you kind of just you know,
you get this like have Loovs dog

665
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:17,280
response or you just boom, You're
just back in it. It's crazy.

666
00:46:19,119 --> 00:46:22,559
So so all of that, and
no, why don't you meditate anymore?

667
00:46:22,079 --> 00:46:24,840
Because of course I feel like better. So now I'm like, oh,

668
00:46:24,840 --> 00:46:28,840
I don't need it, which I
of course I should be doing it,

669
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:31,480
Like I have no excuse why I'm
not doing it. But so since twenty

670
00:46:31,519 --> 00:46:35,360
twenty, knock on wood, I
haven't had a panic attack. I haven't

671
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:37,760
had anything. I'm like, I
feel like it, Like I feel like

672
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:42,679
the em I feel like the medication
helped me get to a place where I

673
00:46:42,679 --> 00:46:45,000
could then do the EMDR, which
I feel in a really weird way like

674
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:50,719
I don't even want to say cured
me, but I think I finally was

675
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:53,880
able to work through everything that was
gnawing at me, and it's not gnawing

676
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:58,280
at me anymore. It feels so
good. You know. Now, with

677
00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:00,119
people with panic disorder, you can
go to years without a panic attack and

678
00:47:00,159 --> 00:47:05,119
then all of a sudden get one. So I'm not like thinking everything's perfect

679
00:47:05,119 --> 00:47:09,440
now, but I do feel completely
I'm totally normal, and I have since

680
00:47:09,559 --> 00:47:14,440
June of twenty twenty, so yeah, that's kind of that's so cool,

681
00:47:14,519 --> 00:47:16,519
sort of my journey without going too
much into it, but that's base Those

682
00:47:16,559 --> 00:47:21,519
are the basics. Yeah, and
I was pretty religious about the EMDR and

683
00:47:21,559 --> 00:47:24,679
then obviously COVID happened. So then
we did it on zoom. And when

684
00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:29,880
you do it on zoom, you
tap yourself. It's like really cool,

685
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:34,840
like you put your hands across your
chest and then you tap your shoulders and

686
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:38,159
as you're tapping your shoulders, your
eyes are kind of going from one shoulder

687
00:47:38,199 --> 00:47:42,039
to the next, and then you're
just processing the memory. It sounds like

688
00:47:42,119 --> 00:47:46,519
voodoo, but it is backed by
science and research studies and all the things,

689
00:47:46,559 --> 00:47:51,440
and it's pretty wild, like how
can that be scientific? It is.

690
00:47:51,519 --> 00:47:53,119
There's a lot of science to back
it up, a lot of research,

691
00:47:53,159 --> 00:47:57,360
a lot of studies. I can't
tell you because it almost sounds like

692
00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:00,639
some weird scientology shit, right,
but but it's actually backed by science and

693
00:48:00,679 --> 00:48:04,239
it works. But you're on an
E meter when you do it, right.

694
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:10,880
No, it's a little joke.
I'm so protective of EMDR because it

695
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:14,880
worked so well for me. I
tried AMDR I think many years ago.

696
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,559
Oh I just don't I can't remember
if it if I felt like it worked

697
00:48:17,639 --> 00:48:22,519
or not. But yeah, I
probably didn't give it a really solitary I

698
00:48:22,559 --> 00:48:24,519
really highly recommend. I mean,
obviously, I've been in therapy since my

699
00:48:24,599 --> 00:48:29,960
twenties because of my panic attacks and
just because of you know, life and

700
00:48:30,079 --> 00:48:35,360
needing to process things, and it's
been great. I think therapy is really

701
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:39,079
important. I think cognitive behavioral therapy
can be extremely helpful for me. What

702
00:48:39,199 --> 00:48:43,960
worked the best was EMDR. And
again, it doesn't have to be a

703
00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:47,280
trauma you were held at gunpoint,
oh my god, it was one.

704
00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:53,320
It can be a sustained low level
of quote unquote trauma that you feel that

705
00:48:53,559 --> 00:48:58,079
has really affected you. I think
a lot of people have that. I

706
00:48:58,159 --> 00:49:01,840
agree, I agree. I think
I don't see how EMDR could hurt anybody,

707
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:05,920
to be honest, Yeah, it's
pretty amazing. Yeah. What do

708
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:09,679
you think of hypnosis? I don't
know anything about it, to be honest,

709
00:49:09,679 --> 00:49:13,800
I mean I did do so you
don't believe in it or not?

710
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:17,000
No, I mean I've heard amazing
stories with hypnosis, Like I mean,

711
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:21,400
that's what I need to do to
stop my day coke obsession for real.

712
00:49:22,039 --> 00:49:25,960
But I believe you seem like such
a non addict, which is why it

713
00:49:27,039 --> 00:49:30,360
kind of makes me laugh when you're
like, I mean, of all the

714
00:49:30,159 --> 00:49:36,639
addictions, needing three, your backup
to three a day. Yeah, Stephanie,

715
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:42,440
your book resonated with me so much
because it wasn't just alcohol addiction.

716
00:49:42,559 --> 00:49:46,119
It was just that addictive mindset,
that addictive tendency, like how you talked

717
00:49:46,159 --> 00:49:52,519
about your sugar addiction, this and
that. I one hundred percent have an

718
00:49:52,599 --> 00:49:57,679
addictive personality, but not to alcohol
or drugs or like I don't have no

719
00:49:57,760 --> 00:50:00,519
desire for that, but like,
for instance, is addicted to like being

720
00:50:00,519 --> 00:50:04,960
a good person. No, you're
just addicted to empathy. You're like,

721
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:08,239
I can't stop feeling empathy, amazing, I can't stop being amazing, I

722
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:12,719
can't stop doing good deed. No. But I think people, Okay,

723
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:16,039
you guys, I'm speaking to our
audience here because I think people can relate

724
00:50:16,119 --> 00:50:22,119
so much to being addicted to something
I don't know, like whether it's exercise

725
00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:24,880
or like for me, it's diet
coke. And I swear to god,

726
00:50:25,039 --> 00:50:29,920
I know this sounds so crazy,
but I wish so badly there was an

727
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:32,920
AA for people that had addictions that
weren't drugs, you know, Like there

728
00:50:34,079 --> 00:50:38,519
is what I'm not kidding, like
the tost that meeting to get off diet

729
00:50:38,599 --> 00:50:42,559
coke and just to get off my
leg having three a day because there's a

730
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:46,960
lot to brain it in your brain
as like I just really like diet coke

731
00:50:47,159 --> 00:50:51,320
and but it's chemicals. It's straight. As for tam going into my body,

732
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:52,760
it is bad. There is no
doubt in my mind. It is

733
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:57,840
not good for your body. Like
the one thing you have to a day,

734
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:00,679
well, no, I need to
have zero. I'm like you with

735
00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:04,679
sugar. It's either all or nothing. See, I'm like this with a

736
00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:07,119
lot of things, like sweets.
I will say no to sweets so easily,

737
00:51:07,599 --> 00:51:12,320
but then when I have one,
I want five. Like you don't

738
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:15,199
just give me a chocolate chip cookie, give me like three chocolate chip cookies.

739
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:17,920
And what's over there? Oh well
now I've already eaten crappy, so

740
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:21,199
let me just eat crappy the rest
of the day. Like I'm kind of

741
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:24,679
an all or nothing And I've tried
the nothing with diet coke and it didn't

742
00:51:24,719 --> 00:51:27,320
work. So then I was like, well, I just have one a

743
00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:30,679
day. That's totally fine, you
know, you know what I recently,

744
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:37,199
so I've been off sugar for a
long time. Yeah, but recently so

745
00:51:37,639 --> 00:51:44,159
Xander wanted me to buy fruit by
the foot and so we bought a couple

746
00:51:44,199 --> 00:51:47,039
of boxes of that, like for
lunches. And I don't know how I

747
00:51:47,119 --> 00:51:51,639
did it, and I rationalized,
I was like, I mean, it's

748
00:51:51,679 --> 00:51:53,320
just a fruit roll up. You
know. I didn't look at the ingredients

749
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:55,679
because I knew what I was doing, and I was like, I'm just

750
00:51:55,719 --> 00:51:59,400
gonna have a fruit by the foot, but I'm going to tell myself that

751
00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:01,039
it's just a fruit roll up.
It's just fruit. Yeah, it's not

752
00:52:01,119 --> 00:52:06,119
like no, so I had.
So then there's also these other ones.

753
00:52:06,159 --> 00:52:09,440
There's fruit by the foot, which
is the roast one roll yeah, roll

754
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:15,039
of Scrobby basically, and then there's
this just there's another kind that's just like

755
00:52:15,039 --> 00:52:17,719
a looks like a fruit roll up, but it's really not good for you.

756
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:22,199
It's just it's like Kenny, you
know, it's in the little part

757
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:25,960
of the grocery store where there's gushers
and olive fruit snacks, you know.

758
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:30,000
Okay, So I bought this other
kind too that he wanted and I ate

759
00:52:30,039 --> 00:52:32,920
one of those. I ate that, and then I just in my brain,

760
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:37,199
I was like, this is not
sugar. This is fruit snack,

761
00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:43,360
totally different. Do not nothing to
see here. We're not going to think

762
00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:45,440
about it. We're not going to
deal with this right now. Look at

763
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:47,920
there's vitamin A and vitamin C.
I found myself eating like eight of them

764
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:51,760
last night and I was like,
yeah, oh, here we go.

765
00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:53,599
But see that. I don't know
if I'm going to call it a relapse,

766
00:52:53,599 --> 00:52:57,760
because if I call it a relapse, then I'm gonna be like,

767
00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:00,519
well, fuck it, I'm I'm
going to relapse. So I'm just going

768
00:53:00,599 --> 00:53:02,519
to go eat while I'm at it. I'm gonna have a bunch of cookies.

769
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:07,159
So I'm going to think of it
more as a slip and I'm just

770
00:53:07,199 --> 00:53:10,000
gonna not do that anymore. But
this is what AA taught you. I'm

771
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:14,679
assuming this is what I know.
It sounds so silly, but I really

772
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:16,960
think there's people out there, well
at least me, maybe I'm the only

773
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:22,239
one that really could use some tools
like that and how to like how how

774
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:25,840
to stop doing whether it's an addictive
thing or an obsessive thing, whatever you

775
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:30,079
want to call my diet coke addiction
or the fact that I have to have

776
00:53:30,119 --> 00:53:35,000
coffee bean my tea every single morning
and if I don't have it one morning,

777
00:53:35,039 --> 00:53:37,159
I'm like, oh, I can't
wait till the next day, Like

778
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:40,079
you know, like that cod is
I haven't lost that. Well. First

779
00:53:40,119 --> 00:53:45,320
of all, I just want to
clear clarify something a slip. I wouldn't

780
00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:47,440
say I wouldn't call like if I
had a beer, I wouldn't call that

781
00:53:47,519 --> 00:53:52,039
a slip and just hop back on
and continue saying that I have the ten

782
00:53:52,119 --> 00:53:55,599
years of sobriety. That's totally different. I'm saying some people might refer to

783
00:53:55,639 --> 00:54:00,400
as slip, they would still start
their time over again in a twelve step

784
00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:05,079
meeting because you and the reason for
that is not to like shame people or

785
00:54:05,079 --> 00:54:07,280
make them feel like they don't have
and not not everybody is in a twelve

786
00:54:07,280 --> 00:54:12,559
step program, so they're they they're
welcome to call it whatever they want.

787
00:54:12,960 --> 00:54:17,440
It's more like you obviously need some
help if because what if you have a

788
00:54:17,599 --> 00:54:22,400
slip with alcohol and you have a
beer or whatever that is going to lead

789
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:25,400
to You're not going to just probably
tomorrow just not have it right, You

790
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:30,679
wouldn't have alcoholism, right, Yeah, you could, you would be a

791
00:54:30,719 --> 00:54:37,320
moderator. Yeah. But for me
with the sugar, it's I don't want

792
00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:39,800
to have that mindset. Like with
alcohol, I can say it can be

793
00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:44,000
all or nothing. I have to
say, you know, with alcohol it

794
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:47,119
can lead to bad things. Sugar
doesn't necessarily lead to bad things exactly.

795
00:54:47,360 --> 00:54:53,079
So that's in that way I can
kind of in my brain go it with

796
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:57,920
sugar. I get real bad with
the sugar, and I don't feel sober.

797
00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:00,039
I feel like all day long am
meeting junk and I feel out of

798
00:55:00,039 --> 00:55:04,360
control. Yes, but if I
have a if I call it a slip

799
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:07,480
in my head, that's for me
with the sugar to not go well,

800
00:55:07,519 --> 00:55:12,159
then fuck it. I'm gonna just
start eating sugar every day because that's that's

801
00:55:12,159 --> 00:55:16,039
not gonna be good. But I
still have stuff like my breakfast. I

802
00:55:16,119 --> 00:55:21,519
like to have oatmeal for breakfast every
morning, obsessively, every single morning.

803
00:55:21,559 --> 00:55:23,800
And if I if I run out
of oatmeal, but I can't go to

804
00:55:23,840 --> 00:55:29,440
the store and get some more,
it's a problem. It's like I'm thinking

805
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:31,960
about it. I'm like, well, oh no, Like Lynette was like,

806
00:55:32,199 --> 00:55:35,360
I like it when you eat your
heart boiled eggs in the morning,

807
00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:36,960
and I was like, I mean, I'm gonna try to do that,

808
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:38,079
but I have it's like a feeling
in my body of like, oh,

809
00:55:38,079 --> 00:55:42,039
I didn't have my oatmeal. Something's
off. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

810
00:55:42,039 --> 00:55:45,920
I don't like this feeling. Yeah, that can be maybe more. As

811
00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:49,360
you get older, you get into
these habits that are like harder to break,

812
00:55:49,559 --> 00:55:52,960
I don't know, and how much
of it is bad to me?

813
00:55:52,239 --> 00:55:55,840
It becomes an addiction when it's like
hurting your life. I mean, are

814
00:55:55,880 --> 00:55:59,840
you unable to function because you need
three diet cokes? Like, well,

815
00:55:59,880 --> 00:56:04,119
you go out of your house at
midnight to go get diet coke from the

816
00:56:04,159 --> 00:56:07,679
store because you're out. No,
but I will. But I guess what

817
00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:09,840
I feel is you're being hard on
yourself. Maybe I am, But I

818
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:15,280
also I feel like I'm being selfish
because it could lead to some medical problems

819
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:19,159
with all this. You know,
so many things using a microwave oven could

820
00:56:19,239 --> 00:56:21,840
lead to, Like I mean,
I don't know. Sometimes I think you

821
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:25,360
have to sort of like risk reward. It's like, yeah, is it

822
00:56:25,519 --> 00:56:30,159
really like you get in a car, you drive a car every day that

823
00:56:30,199 --> 00:56:32,119
could lead to a car accident,
But if we think of all, like,

824
00:56:32,360 --> 00:56:37,119
I don't know that having your needing
to have your coffee bean. Maybe

825
00:56:37,119 --> 00:56:40,079
that's just something the coffee bean fine
we can get. That's more of a

826
00:56:40,079 --> 00:56:44,719
habit that I just love and it's
great. I agree the diet coke,

827
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:47,559
it it makes me feel good.
And I think it's the aspartame. I

828
00:56:47,559 --> 00:56:52,480
think it's like diet crap. Probably
the caffeine. It's a caffeine, but

829
00:56:52,519 --> 00:56:57,440
it's because they are is coked zero
that doesn't have aspartame, which is like

830
00:56:57,440 --> 00:57:00,400
a quote unquote maybe a little bit
of a healthier option because doesn't have the

831
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:04,719
aspertain in it. But it doesn't
get me the high like that aspartame does,

832
00:57:04,840 --> 00:57:07,519
Oh feel so good? Well?
Uses another fake sugar? Yeah,

833
00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:10,760
I don't know. You're all not
THEOD for you. All the fake sugars

834
00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:15,639
are not good for you. They
just found out that zi xylotol xylatol is

835
00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:17,480
really bad for you. Yeah,
same with aspartain. That's what I'm saying

836
00:57:17,519 --> 00:57:22,199
about the die coke. I know
I'm putting shit into my Like would you

837
00:57:22,239 --> 00:57:24,119
would you feed your plant diet coke? You know what I mean? Would

838
00:57:24,159 --> 00:57:27,400
you water your plant with die coke? Well? I'm a different kind of

839
00:57:27,400 --> 00:57:31,960
plant mom, Like I'm like a
cool plant mom. So yeah, Like

840
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:36,000
if my plant was like I want
diet Coke, I'd be like, okay,

841
00:57:36,239 --> 00:57:38,599
yeah, listen, we have so
much to listen we're gonna do.

842
00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:44,000
Why do I keep saying listen,
that's listen up, listen. We're gonna

843
00:57:44,039 --> 00:57:46,760
do a Patreon with you. That
is oh wait you, Linda, listen,

844
00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:51,800
listen, Linda. Do you remember
that viral video with that little boy

845
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:58,440
talking to his mom and she's like
stop right about lis Linda, Linda,

846
00:58:00,440 --> 00:58:05,239
I don't know that one. But
you're going to do a Patreon, which

847
00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:07,440
is a story that you told me
the other day that my mouth was like

848
00:58:07,840 --> 00:58:14,079
what this is crazy? So that
we're going to record that and then you're

849
00:58:14,119 --> 00:58:15,800
gonna be with us on Friday,
so we have so much more time to

850
00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:20,039
talk about just the regular stuff that's
going on in our lives. I feel

851
00:58:20,039 --> 00:58:22,840
like I talked it was all about
me this time so long, about Elbie's

852
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:30,239
and about anxiety. That was I
overtalked. Okay, we haven't done our

853
00:58:30,280 --> 00:58:32,079
shout out, so I'm going to
do all of that right now. Like

854
00:58:32,880 --> 00:58:40,119
our friend Stephanie Stinker Rinker who graciously
generously because of some stuff that's going on,

855
00:58:42,079 --> 00:58:45,119
gave her name shout out to the
Trevor Project, So go check out

856
00:58:45,119 --> 00:58:55,360
the Trevor Project, which supports lgbt
Q plus plus plus kids especially it's a

857
00:58:55,400 --> 00:59:01,199
beautiful, beautiful charity. Thank you, Stephanie. Also Christas Droop and Sandra

858
00:59:01,320 --> 00:59:08,280
Green and Jennifer Falls and Aaron Sanchez
and Sarah Stefanos and Leslie Wykoff and Alicia

859
00:59:08,320 --> 00:59:14,239
Ascalante and Kelly Branton, Rebecca Lubin
and Ishan Vajepe and Missy Schaeffer and Gabby

860
00:59:14,719 --> 00:59:20,320
and Katerina Muller and Valerie Bubba Fenwick
and Polly Butterfield and Athena Ginshert and Elizabeth

861
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:25,840
Williamson and Rita Bassiette and Jacob Crowley
and Leslie Acosta, Nikki Collier and Aaron

862
00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:34,119
Landis and Katie Murphy and Lauren Goldberg
and Kelly Ladita and Rachel Newcome and Richard

863
00:59:34,440 --> 00:59:43,039
Frolicker. Also Phoenix Plumbing Solutions,
that's Mike Gerstein's company. If you have

864
00:59:43,400 --> 00:59:47,000
a problem, they're number one with
number two, so if you're having a

865
00:59:47,039 --> 00:59:52,920
plumbing issue, go check them out. Also Adam Lerner with Adams got acar

866
00:59:53,119 --> 00:59:58,039
dot com. You know exactly what
he does. Also our friend Christine Black

867
00:59:58,320 --> 01:00:04,400
with Storybook World Travel. Go to
her Storybook World Travel. She does all

868
01:00:04,480 --> 01:00:09,280
kinds of you know, travel stuff. Also Fern Candle. You guys,

869
01:00:09,559 --> 01:00:14,440
this is our friend Kelsey. Yes, I love, love, love this

870
01:00:14,599 --> 01:00:17,679
candle company. Awesome. The people
at my kid's school went crazy for these

871
01:00:17,719 --> 01:00:22,679
candles. They come in these really
cute Mason jars. The smell is subtle,

872
01:00:22,880 --> 01:00:27,280
not overpowering. They're all made with
soy, which is a great resource.

873
01:00:27,679 --> 01:00:32,760
So it's Ferncandle dot com or Instagram
at Ferncandle. Also our friend the

874
01:00:32,760 --> 01:00:38,440
ones that did the bird shout out
for a while, Sergio. They are

875
01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:45,360
giving their shout out to their friend
Madeleine Aubrey. She's has a business.

876
01:00:45,360 --> 01:00:49,960
She's out of SoCal, but she
will do Zoom consultations. She's a stylist

877
01:00:50,880 --> 01:00:58,320
and she's basically been helping veterans unhoused
people, but now she wants to like

878
01:00:59,320 --> 01:01:04,440
make this business. I love it
self. So just go to her Instagram

879
01:01:04,480 --> 01:01:10,119
at Madeleine m A d E l
i n E. Aubrey Styling and check

880
01:01:10,159 --> 01:01:14,840
her out for them, and I'll
just do one more Basic Becky. She's

881
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:19,440
our girl. She makes T shirts
and I'll be calling Basic Becky again because

882
01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:22,239
Belle is doing her cheercamp again.
We'll be getting T shirts from her.

883
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:24,360
Every year we get T shirts from
her, like yeah, I love it.

884
01:01:24,559 --> 01:01:30,280
Yeah. Just Basicbecky dot com or
find her on Facebook at Basic Becky.

885
01:01:30,679 --> 01:01:32,400
All right, thank you so much, Julian, thank you, Kaylin,

886
01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:37,119
and we love you guys, and
we'll see you on Patreon on Wednesday

887
01:01:37,199 --> 01:01:40,119
and then our next show on Friday. You're a parent, No, don't

888
01:01:40,119 --> 01:01:45,679
fuck it up. It's good.
Many