Sure, what's that, beautiful people? It is your baby Mama, favorite
baby Mama, Stormy Pe And this is another episode of Chocolate Chip and Zip
the modern day female perspective. Damn sum back at it again. Yeah,
so y'all was harassed me in my DMS because we started to live a little
late today. I apologize. All my notes that I had written down for
the show got deleted, and I'm a little pressed because all my notes got
deleted, so I don't remember shit. So all my passwords was in there.
So we were about to have an interesting week. And I have to
travel tomorrow, so we're really about to have an interesting week. But yeah,
you know, same message always is going to be for the next few
days. Uh. If you are looking for promo, I'm gonna tell you
where you need to do it, right here at Chocolate Chip Zip, right
here with me, Stormy Pete. Okay, I'm gonna tell you why Number
one, funniest fuck number two. Okay, we got eyes over here.
Everybody will say, come over here, show you product, come talk much
product, but everybody ain't got numbers to back it up. Baby, I
got analytics, Okay, I got fucking insights, all right, come over
here and promote yo shit. All right, now, you can come have
me talk about it. You can send me something where you're talking about it.
You can come on a show and talk about it. Don't even worry
about that. I got you covered. All you got to do is email
incurease at stormypea dot com. Don't DM me. Don't dm me because if
you dm me, you're gonna fall in line with all the men who want
to drink my bath water. And I can't decipher which messages which. Okay,
So the easier way to do it is just email me increase at stormy
Pea. Let's get your business, your show, your music promotes in places
where people are actually going to see it. All right. I also want
to say, next two weeks, we have a very big announcement, ladies
and gentlemen, very big announcement, ladies and gentlemen, very big announcement,
ladies and gentlemen. And y'all ain gonna believe this shit. Now. I
don't cap often, so I want y'all to listen to me when I say,
y'all ain't gonna believe this shit. We have a very big announcement coming
up. I can't wait to share with you guys. Listen, this has
been a very interesting week. You know. I feel like it's pretty obvious
that I have a love hate relationship with outgors Internet. That's y'all, okay,
that's y'all, and that's sy'aw and that's Shaw. And one of the
reasons is because y'all funny, but y'all make me sick. And I'm gonna
say it again, one of the reasons in y'all are funny, but y'all
make me sick. Okay. On one of the videos that I pointed out
from last week that I had made a clip for, somebody commented under him
was like, yo, her shape up, sharpest shit. And I said
to myself, I said, okay, I'm not doing my baby here like
that. No more. Say what happens when you try new shit? Okay,
you see, you see, you see what happens when you try new
ship. Can you tell the difference? And you know what. We started
the episode and I'm like, shot, can you tell I did something different
from my makeup? And he said, no, lot of me, lot
of me, Nigga, you could have just said it was zipper. I
was gonna ask you what I know you're not a female. I knew you
wasn't gonna look at me and be like, oh, I could tell you
it's a different color corrector this week? No, you guess. You guess
A half a thing, right, A half a thing? There are plenty
other things. AnyWho, if you're watching it on YouTube, I did something
different from my makeup today, can because shot obviously doesn't give a fuck.
I don't know, but did you say a k A? Listen man?
Last week we talked a lot about me intentionally dating. That's the new wave.
That's what we're on now, ladies and gentlemen. I have officially decided
to go outside. I'm terrified it's going well after you know, last week's
fiasco. I haven't had too much any interesting stories, but I did feel
like I needed to elaborate a little bit on why I decided to, you
know, in a sense, go outside. Okay, it wasn't an easy
decision for me, but it was time, y'all. It was time.
I decided to go outside. Okay, wasn't an easy decision, no,
but honestly, I felt like my FBI agent was sick of hearing me play
with my kootie cat four times a day. So I had to go outside.
Okay, I had to go out outside. Yes, my FBI agent
was sick of hearing me play with my cootie cat four times a day.
Okay, he said, God, damn bitch again. All right. My
ancestors was all up in a fucking rally. Damn bitch, you ain't teach
you nothing else. They ain't passed down nothing down the fucking timeline and stupting
how to play with jacotie cat. That was it. So yeah, I
just had to. I just had to go outside and do my part to
try to, you know, finding my person. And uh, it's crazy
because I really used to be one of those people. Don't laugh at me,
all don't laugh at me. I know what I'm about to say does
not makes sense, but just just hear me out. We're going on a
journey, Come with me, Okay. I really used to be one of
those people where like I'm like, oh my god, I'm gonna get married,
I'm gonna have a boyfriend. I'm gonna have a husband, and he's
gonna break in my house and find me. I'm not gonna go outside.
I know, I know it sounds. I know it sounds dumb. I
know it sounds dumb, but I was really what those people were like,
Yo, I want a husband and I want a boyfriend, and I'm also
gonna sit in my bed and wait for him to break down my bedroom door
and be like, hey, bitch, I was looking for you, and
I'm like, yeah, what's it's about time? Damn you want to say?
What's you say that? Like? I was one of those people.
I know it doesn't make sense, but I was one of those people.
Don't laugh at me, don't laugh at me. I just I thought I
thought that we would connect telepathically. Maybe I don't know. I didn't have
a full plan, but I also didn't do shit but sit in my room
and complain about wanting somebody. So part of the reason why I decided to
go outside is because I'm trying to find you. Sting outfits as not a
be an E relationship. Yes, yes, okay, yes, ski mask
Kuzo says, fairy tale shit, Yes, how romantic? Okay, So
I can say I thought he was gonna break down my bedroom door and find
me. But y'all ain't say nothing. When Rapunzel had that nigga climbing up
her braids coming through her window. Or it was fine then, it was
fine when Roger was breaking in a team tomarrow window. It was fine then.
But when I say, but when I say, I went in the
nigga to come through my window, now I'm the bad guy that don't make
sense, go ahead on Roger. And you know when you were told no,
but you can still chase the girl nowadays, you know, niggas.
Niggas don't ruin it, y'all, like the great people. Oh it's ski
masks Lucks, my bad big dog. It was a little far from where
I'm sitting. I couldn't see it, but my bad ski mass Lusk.
You know, I do feel like we always be like canceling shit, y'all
think they ever going to cancel like tea into me Era, because Roger used
to like blatantly impuse on her personals personal space all the time, Like and
then I would tell that nigga, like go home, Roger, and he
would just not go home, or he would just slowly climb back down the
letter like Mario, like what the fuck? Like nobody thought that was weird
back then, but I digress. That's the type of love that gets you
a PFA actually, but you know whatever, Okay, but yeah, you
know, I've decided my decision to go outside was you know, to be
intentional. I want to find my person, want to date with a purpose.
Like I've decided that. You know, this summer, I'm either going
blow hookah or blow my new nigga. O. The season is changing on
wheazing nigga, I got one long Okay, the season is changing and no
weazing. But this is what I'm saying. This summer, I'm either going
blow my hookah or blow my new nigga. That's it, hashtag both of
them. Okay, I've set goals for myself. I'm gonna make it happen.
I'm gonna make happen. Bom boom z Nazi says, sounds like a
busy summer. Ski mask Qzo says, Yo, the insane stuff that comes
out of your head is crazy. That's not insane, that's real. Like
I honestly, I think that's a very honest and you know, cute and
sweet. You know action, I'm either going blow my hooker or I'm gonna
blow my new nigga. Like that's it. That's it. I can't have
goals. I can't have dreams. Now I'm the bad guy for setting aspirations.
Who do I think I am? You know what I mean? So
yeah, that's it. That that's what I got planned. Seven seven was
running around here acting crazy for like the past hour and now he's like knocked
out, snoring and panting and loud as shit. But yeah, like I
said, I'm either going blow my hook or i'a blow my new nigga.
But I acknowledge that the first step is getting out the house. So yeah,
I'm outside. I'm outside. I feel like being outside has a negative
connotation because it's like, if you're outside, you're throwing that ass in a
circle over somebody pancakes at brunch, or you're showing people that your booty hole
is brown, and it's like, no, you can also just be outside
and respecting yourself and you know, meeting new people. And yeah, that's
that's the shit. I'm on outfit, says seven. Panning is heaving on
the mic, spit that shit. Seven y'all can really hear them. That's
crazy. Uh Nala, y'all got some long ass screen names today. The
first step is acknowledge your truth. I agree, Thank you so much.
Okay, seven, nobody's outside, nigga, you're woking about to sleep and
start barkaing and shit like relax, uh ski Mask says tweaking twerking while eating
pancakes and mimosas they do. I'm not gonna lie y'all. Y'all can call
me bougie if y'all want to, but I don't really like going to those
type of brunches. That's not my stealer, like bro, I'm trying to.
I just want powdered sugar on my French toast. I don't want booty
flakes, thank you. I don't need that. I don't want it.
Like we can vibe and we can like swag, surf a little bit,
play a little bit of music, but all that throwing that ass in a
circle like I don't I don't want that for for me and my uh my
breakfast. I don't like that. Shy you like those type of brunches where
they be like throwing ass and shit. Okay, I can't hear you.
Chill four three four seven, says my dog names seven too? Oh what
type of dog is it? Send me a picture? Please, thank you,
thank you, thank you, thank you. Yeah, you know,
I feel like if we're talking about having summer base, even though I know
it's like kind of like in oxymoron because for the summer, everybody wants to
be outside, but like in a single way. But I want to be
outside like a bayway. And I feel like if we're going to get there,
the time to start preparing, the time to start, you know,
doing the proper work to find that person is now. And I'm not talking
about nose spring fling shit. I'm talking about like actually doing the work right.
And it's just important to listen to certain things that you know that you
don't know, keep certain things in mind. And I feel like the easiest
way for me to remember that it is like, you know, spring is
here, and you know what rhymes with spring where a condom? Spring is
hair? Springs hair, And do you know what rhymes with spring where a
condom? Yeah you didn't know that. Yeah, I know. It's like
you gotta add a little bit of accent on it, like in speaking words
in cursive, a little bit, just slur a little bit and it rhymes
and rhymes so well, we're fucking condom, Okay. Staying spiritually strapped is
not gonna work anymore. It's done. It's fucking done. All right.
I'm not gonna lie to y'all. Y'all know, Jesus is my homeboy.
Y'all know, we be having talks. God told me staying spiritually strapped is
not enough. It's not enough. Okay, it's not it's not and it's
not all right, Doctor Brian QUTI said. Doctor Brinch QTI says, women
don't like women don't like condoms? Though, what who are you? How
did you get here? Saucier twelve forty nine says, because love is fleeting
and it comes in spurts. Not gonna lie. My eyes read that too
fast, and it said it comes into squirts. So I just I cannot
uh a. Doctor branch qt says, Jesus. But condoms, Wow,
yes, condoms, yes, condoms. That's it. Okay. God said
being spiritually strapped is not enough. You know what God said. He's sick
of playing with you, Okay, He's sick a plan with you, and
he's sick of sending kids back and forth with you. Every time God send
you a kid, you go to a planned parenthood and send him one back.
He's done, He's fucking done. He's sick of you. Okay,
he's done. Not you, Sirih, be quiet, Sirih, John get
in the conversation. He said he's done. He said he's done, Okay,
because my whole thing is sir, ma'am. How the hell you get
a punch card for planned parenthood? Okay? How you get a membership punch
card for playing parenthood? A free pizza? Bruh ha? How how how
Gag says sound like shorty need to swallow kids in tequila? Well, sir,
okay, First of all, I'm not gonna lie. The key is
you take your Plan B with tequila. Okay. And if you're not gonna
say, you know what, take your plan BE with red Bull. Yeah,
take your Plan BE with red Bull. No, take your Plan BE
with red Bull. No, take your Plan B with red Bull. Them
kids gonna get their wings one way or another. Okay. I'm going home,
y'all. I'm sleepy. I'm sorry. It's late, it's late.
It's late. I'm sorry, y'all. I'm really I'm really a good person,
I promise, but it's late. It spends my bedtime. Gag says,
and beat on work with thick women. That's absolutely right. If you're
over one hundred and sixty five pounds, the plan beat will be less effective.
So let's go back to our original point of you know what rhymes with
spring where a condom? Yeah, yeah, that's it. Ouphaz has wings
either way. Yeah, I'm I'm I'm a courteous person and I love to
share information with you guys. That's what I'm here for. You know.
AGP eighty says, Jesus told you none of this. Jesus is my homeboy.
You don't know what me and him be talking about. We really be
having deep conversations, like seriously, he really be. You know. He
also said, make sure y'all is tithing, because a lot of y'all ain't
tithe. In See, we have conversations about other stuff. Tie. Doc
Grin says, wasn't that for real? For real? Over one hundred and
sixty five Yes, it is one hundred and sixty five pounds. You can
google that. That's actually on the Planned Parent Real website, So you can
google that. That's a fact. Baby, look at us learning things.
I love this for us, I know. Right, the more you know
this, the rainbow, imagine the rainbow of the sparkle little yo. So
you know, a part of you know, making the decision to go outside.
You gotta be honest with yourself. You gotta live your truth. And
I felt like I'm gonna do just that. Okay, I'm ready to live
my truth. Okay. I used to be one of those girls that were
like, oh, you know, uh, I'm a lover girl, but
only for the right person. The rest of y'all get this thug shit.
That was me, that was me, that was me, and I'm sick
of it. I'm sick of it. I'm ready to live my truth.
I used to be one of those girls like, oh, I'm really soft,
but only for the right person. The rest of y'all, I'm a
thug. Y'all get this ug shit, and it's like not beg Deuce Donald
drum boys, beg news. That is not real. That's not me,
y'all, that's not me. I actually am not a fucking thug at all.
I'm not. I'm not. I'm really fucking not. And I feel
like once a lot of women acknowledge that this whole outer shell hard shit is
a front and maybe even a defence mechanism, we all could be a lot
happier Okay, we all could be a lot happier. Okay, that's not
me. That's not me. I'm sick of cos playing as some city girl.
I'm sick of pretending I'm on this now I'm not. I'm a bitch.
I'm soft. I'm gonna be real with y'all. I am. I'm
one of those girls. It's like, oh, give me kiss after you
just gave me nineteen kisses. Yeah, I need another kiss. I need
more kisses. They're never enough fucking kisses. Okay. I'm one of those
women who are like, yo, I've been chilling with you in the house
all day, all fucking day, smelling your sweat and everything. Then as
soon as you get ready to leave, I'm sad. I'm sad. Okay,
I have an attitude. Now we're gonna fight because I'm sad. I'm
sad. I don't want this, I don't need this. That's not what
I like. Okay, I want you to be up under me. I
saw I post on the internet that said I wish I was in his ball
sack so I can hang with him all day. That's where I'm at,
Okay, And I feel like once we get into the spirit of living our
truth, we all can be a lot happier. Okay, come on,
I ain't with all that hard shit. I like to cook for my nigga
and give massages. This is this is trash. Okay. I'm sick of
pretending to be something I'm not. Okay, that's not for me. That's
not for me. AGP eighty says you already lying. Women don't want kisses
no more. The women you talk to don't want kisses no more. Okay,
women love kisses, Women love kisses. We love I'm baby, Okay,
I'm fucking baby. Okay, that's me, all right. I feel
like if we're all honest and what we want, we all can be happy.
That's it, and that's all. Yeah, Daddy's baby, that's all.
Okay. So now that we have accepted and acknowledged our truth, how
do we move forward? We have to also acknowledge our strengths and weaknesses,
ladies and gentlemen, and me personally, I know that my strength I'm plenty
as fuck, okay, Okay. One of my strongest qualities. I'm funny
as fuck. Okay. I don't care. You might not find me attractive,
but baby, I know I can giggle you out them draws, okay,
slide it right through the box a hole for me, baby, Yeah,
yeah, I have a nigga giggling and lifting his hips up while I
slide the boxes off real quick. Okay, that's me. I know that.
I know that, I know that, and I don't care. Okay.
And niggas. Niggas are so funny. They're so funny because they're also
so sweet. All Right, I'm gonna tell you something. Soon as I
have a nigga giggling, smiling, feeling itself. Right, soon as that
nigga hit the crack on his mouth and I see that side tooth or lack
thereof, I be like, yeah, got is ass. God is ass?
A God is ass? Okay? Like hm hm, I feel like
you know, like I said, you might not be attracted to me.
I don't care. I might not be your tight, but I know I
can giggle you out the fucking draws. I'm willing to put my bottom dollar
on it, okay. Like and niggas. Niggas always want to hit you
with that. Hey, you you stupid yo. No, I'm not No,
I'm not I'm not stupid. Okay, I'm smart. And you baby,
you just got got that's it. That's it, that's all. Doctor
brinch Kuty says, got the crack. Wow, I'm just saying it is
what it is, yo, Like baby, I mean it. Soon as
we start chopping it up and we talking and I see that side tooth or
lack thereof got it. I know, I know, I know. It's
okay. You safe, baby, Sit down and enjoy yourself. Yeah,
have a good time. Scott Locke says, uh uh, you're gonna have
to get me a whopper with cheese to get me on my draws along with
laughter. Baby, No, I don't. That's what the other girls gotta
do. I don't have to do that, Okay, I don't ye'all get
on a mic shot. Imagine by some jokes. Listen, let me tell
you something. I don't care. I don't care. Listen some reason better
than that. It's a process. First you ha ha ha, then you
ha ha. Have my kids. That's what it is. I was just
laughing. Next thing, I know, she was hitting like god yeah yeah,
Like imagine that man like a support group talking to their friends and ship
like bro, I don't know what happened. Like he was just having a
good time. And then next thing I know, my boxes was like yeah,
and I was like, who's there? Did they say? I know?
Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever outfits is make them chuckle. Next
thing you know, they got their fingerprints on the hair. But yo,
speaking of this fingerprints, let me tink out something last what's the last month?
I don't know, like a few weeks ago, last month? Right,
I'm all live in my bedroom, right and I'm just laying in the
bed, were talking, we chopping it up right, having a good time,
giggles ass always right. I don't know if it was Outfits or who
the fuck it was, but somebody was like, y'all see them fingerprints smudges
on her headboard, focus on yourselves, king, And I looked up and
it really was smushing. Yo. Okay, I'll mean to be a nigga
with more exeases than somebody going to jail, but hear me out right.
Let me tell y'all, I was babysitting my girlfriend daughter. She's one.
She was like bouncing on my head and shit with her hands on the hairboard.
Y'all know, y'all know how babies do. I'm serious now, gave
you that planation, would you believe that this doesn't Yes, does he have
a friend with the baby or no? You walk in let me see a
nigga in two days, all sudden you see fingerprints on his headboard. Wow,
talking about he got his cousin. His baby cousin was jumping on his
head tig Grind says, nah that somebody else said, cap Outfit says stop
Sayla Rock says, uh huh, that's what it's called these days. Tygrind
says, we know how making babies? Do we do? Outfit says them
prince was the size of a quarter. No, they was not. No,
they was not They were baby hands and baby fingerprints. Okay, you
know because I seen wiping that boat off. No, that's how you wipe
your headboard off. Do you know? I haven't had sex in my bed
in a real long time, really, really really long time. I told
you it's just be me, my roles in my FBI agent. That's it.
Okay, if that's it? Oh oh wow, y'all Really, yall,
y'all not going to listen to me about my daughter, my friend's daughter.
I'm serious. That wasn't me. I was my friend's daughter. Y'all
know how the babies. When you be laying down, the babies be bouncing
a butt on your head. They be holding on to the hairboarder, literally
just dropping that shit on your head. I got a video. I'm gonna
post a video. That's how I got up there too. Oh my guy,
Alpha says she exited the live expeditiously. It was frantic. First of
all, I'm not gonna lie when whoever put that in the chat put that
in the chat. I happened to look at the screen and then look behind
me, and I seen it, and I did. I closed that live
so fucking fast. And I don't even know why, because I knew it
wasn't from a nigga. It just was. I don't know. I didn't
have a good I don't know. Ty Grind says, try and getting my
sucka man. Fuck y'all. Okay, that's that's not what God told me.
Okay he said that. No, Okay, he's with me. Okay.
Um Mellow D six three says, you got burger king hands. It's
cool. It wasn't my sticky fingers. It was the baby. And that's
even where you know, babies be having cheese curls and shitting all types of
oils on their hands and just stained the haadboard. That was it? Uh?
Little J five Daddy says, lol, I don't know, sounds suspicious.
A G. P eighty says, real rap, you explaining too much?
Left my ass off. I was just trying to tell the story.
Okay, fuck y'all. Jared McGruff says, out here messing with Trump?
What all right? Okay? Outfit says plot twist, FBI agent in your
room, fingerprints, It's all lined up. Okay, never ride, never
ride, never mind. Next topic, next topic. Okay, I have
a quick question. Now. This question segued better before we got on this
headboard tangent. Okay, but I do have a question for y'all because sometimes
I be feeling like a unicorn, and then I don't know if I'm really
a unicorn or I just need to go back to talking to the lady.
Okay, So let me ask you a question. Right. I don't want
you to think before you answer, and I don't want you to feel any
pressure about answer, because what you like is what you like, and what
you don't is what you don't. Right, So quick question, do you
still want to get married? Or no? Do you and do you and
maybe it's not even a still so let's start over. Quick question, do
you want to get married? Or no? And the reason I asked that
is because I know social media is in a royal place, but sometimes that
bitch for having me feeling like I'm crazy, Okay, every feeling like I'm
strange for one certain things, one of them being marriage. So I want
to ask y'all, like, yo, quick question, do you want to
get married? Or no? Like? What is it? Because me personally,
I be feeling like I want love, but i'd be like, do
love want me? Because we're not seeing ay ai baby, We're not saying
aye, what's happening? When is happening? Like, it can't be that
hard. It can't be that hard. Every day somebody's commenting on one of
my pictures or one of my reels or sending me a DM like, Yo,
it's just something gotta be fucking wrong with you. It's not. It's
not like I want love, damn, Like, do love want me?
Goddamn? What's so hard? It can't be. It can't be. I
don't want to be that guy. And I'm like, yo, maybe we
just gotta go back to women not being able to make money because when it
wasn't, love was easy to find. It was easy back then. It
was easy when pop pop had all the funds. Y'all niggas was in love
for sixty plus years. Then what happened? What happened? Let me know
right this, this is this is hyperbole. This is all jokes. Okay.
I don't think women should not be able to work. By the way,
I don't. I don't think that. I don't think that. I
don't know, like real shit, though, I do be feeling like I
be feeling like Will Smith's sometime, like why you don't want me? Man?
Like diamn dialmn what. Yeah, it's interesting. So people in their
lives said marriage just not the marriage is just paperwork? Yes no, yes,
yes yes. D rop through on for says, I mean I always
wanted it, but shed at one point I wanted to be an NBA player
too. Yo. Come on, Why are y'all like this? bTB Mike
says, it's a get all you up? The live is moving too fast.
I missed it. I'm sorry, sweetie. Yeah, I don't know.
So I don't know to me personally, like I be having these dreams
and I be having these vibes and these visions, and I'd be like,
Yo, I'm somebody fine ass, fit ass, funny ass wife. The
buck is taken so long, right, and it's like I envisioned myself.
Me and my husband. We come home and like we put on some dumb
ass movie that we ain't really gonna watch. I'm gonna fall asleep. He's
gonna scroll on his phone like the kids really is going to watch. Like
I want stuff like that. Y'all don't want shit like that? Like,
no, y'all like that? Uh King Energy seventy six says Yes, after
being married once, I thought I would never marry again. But if that,
I'm ready to be married again. Yes, Energy Energy, It's Devin
one on one says you are ted shelled lol, But for real, these
new men are scared of a real female. I hate to say it out.
Fitz says, you just went outside six minutes ago. It's gonna take
a minute. How many men, Okay, how many fucking minutes? This
is bullshit, all right. Carolina Cash says, get married so she can
give you baby bouncing on her head as an explanation for the headborn fingerprints.
After I get back home off the road. Nah, I'll pass. Who
hurts you? Who hurts you? You need to go talk to the lady
and he'll bait you. Just projecting all that negative energy over this whole timeline.
We here in love, trying to have fun and shit, get the
fuck out of here, okay. Dartman seventeen says marriage is wonderful. Now,
I do want to go back and say you'll pass. It's cool you
can pass to the previous person. You can pass, but don't put your
reason for passing being that somebody's gonna cheat and do you wrong that we're not
doing that over here. Just say no, Just say no, okay.
Agp eighty says do you want to be a wife or just a fantasy?
I want to be a wife, okay. And when I say I want
to be a wife, I mean I want my husband to come home and
tell me about the fucking dumb ass lady in HR who be getting on his
fucking nurse. Okay. I want my husband to come home and he'd be
excited because I made his favorite meal. I want my husband to fucking home
wife. I don't care. I don't care. I feel like I don't
have a nine to five. So essentially I would be some version of a
stay at home wife because me working is very sporadic. If I have a
show or i'm bolk recording, like, it's gonna be some version of a
stay at home wife and there it's not going to be the typical version though,
But yeah, I don't know. Hey what if I get with another
content creator and we're both like have really weird schedules or he's like an actor
and it's like he's out of town for like six months or something. I
don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
But is you going cheat though you've been listening to this whole fucking lab nigga
did? What the fuck? Jasus Outfite says, No, for real,
I want to be married so I can tell all these damn stories about the
ship I go through at work daily exactly, like come home, tell me
about your day, stink. Let me fucking make your favorite food, stink,
Like, let me rub your back, okay, let me put that
tiger bomb on your knee after you go play ball with your buddies. Even
though y'all know y'all too old to still be trying to run full court.
But it's okay. I support you, right, Like I want all these
things. Yeah, come home and tell me about Susan who always got the
cat here but trying to bring food to the pot. Look, tell me
stink. I want to know, Like yeah, Like I want to have
a fucking date night once a week where we leave these kids in the fucking
house and maybe sometimes we role play and we pretend you don't know each other
and you're coming to me at the bar and like try to talk to me
and ship like I want to. I want to be married. I want
you to build. I want to grow financially, I want to grow spiritually.
I want to go mentally like shit, I want to get pregnant and
grow physically. Like yeah, Like you know, so when you say,
like do you want to be a wife or do you want the fantasy?
I want to be somebody's other half. Yeah, that's the part that things
asia. But as you want cheat though, baby, no, no,
I think no. I also feel like, if you're still cheating past the
age of twenty eight, you need to grow the fuck up. You need
to learn how to fucking speak up. If you're still cheating past the age
of twenty eight. You need to learn how to verbalize your fucking emotions or
get the strength to leave and stand on your boundaries when you're not fucking happy.
Stop being a pussy. Okay, Oh it's not that simple. We
have financial things where after Okay, and your dumb ass gotten that knowing you
wasn't happy. That's on you. I don't give fuck. Okay, what
are we doing now? I don't care. I don't fucking care. Um.
Sorry, that fucking life be moving so fast and it's further than we
used to have it, y'alls. I can't really say little J five daddies
as lol. Twenty eight damn starting late, aren't we? I feel like
by twenty eight you should definitely know better. It's no excuses past twenty eight
for me, Like twenty eight, my nigga, what what? And I
feel like that's being courteous. It's being courteous. But I feel like by
twenty eight you definitely should know better. Outfits as these solo trips low key
suck now, balconies boring as fuck? Exactly get you a wife, king
Okay, it's somebody with a nice back who can't wait to be on those
balconies with you, big dog, Stop letting people play with you. Come
on dead, hell yeah, hell yeah, wake up, listen, Come
on, I'm trying to find somebody to have a fart throwing contest with.
You love me or not? Stink be my stink. Stink. That's it.
So somebody on Alive said motherfuckers will do all that and still have their
mom as the emergency contact, and it made me realize, like, Yo,
my emergency contact is my baby dad. That's really my nigger for real.
But before y'all start with and well that's I don't like the moms,
like still be fucking on dad, Like if you don't really like pay attention
to what the fuck I'll be posting Like my mom passed away when I was
fourteen, Like my little brother lives in Florida, my grandmother has dementia.
Me and my father don't have a good relationship. So it's like, Yo,
my child's father is really my emergency contact. Some shit happened like yeah,
he gonna pull up and he gonna have the Tulli on him. Oh
tudos, Yeah, he gonna have that shit. Right. So, but
before I'll get too into like, oh I know, you're still fucking around,
Like, Yo, nobody wants me to get a man more than my
baby dad. Okay, and I'm gonna say it again, nobody wants me
to be in a relationship more than my baby dad. Do you know why?
Whenever I fucking need something or shit ain't going right? Do you know
who fucking has to do it? My baby dad? And he ain't even
get no coachie. Like, imagine fucking having to be somebody's support system and
you won't even get you dick work a little bit bruh every fucking week.
He like, you ain't find no nigga yet when the last time you went
on date? You good? Bro? You want to talk about something?
No, I don't, nigga, I don't. I'm trying. I'm fucking
trying, Okay, So yeah, that's it. Uh. Little J five
daddy says hello, O damn you be working him? Huh? I do,
and I do. Aaron at seven three says Mary Cushy different. She
wants to have sex with the Bible, not us. Carolina Cash says,
man, listen, I'm ready to build my baby mama a nigga at this
point. See, that's exactly how my baby Dad, that is exactly how
I feel. A Breezy two three five seven says, shit, I'm a
phone call away. Boo, what's up, mister Loewe Pierre says baby Dad
about to be your wingman in the second bruh, Yes, yes, he'd
be sick of my ship. Rated fit says hit maker is young bird.
Little known fact for y'all, what what what the fuck? Yeah? The
more you know, uh yeah, no, no, But I think that
a majority of the reason behind pushing me for get a niggas so bad is
because, like you know, he is the No. It's because like he
is in his kids life, So what, he gonna fucking not fix something
in his house and let his kd be without. No, he's gonna bring
his dumb ass around the corner and do it. Not dumb ass, because
that's my nigga. I woul never disrespect him like that, but he's gonna
bring his ass around the corner and do it. Also. In fact,
when I was pregnant, my child's father bought a house around the corner from
my house. He's going to come around the house and do it like but
when I'm in a relationship he does like step back, like the last time
I had a boyfriend, Like, no, he wasn't like pressed all in
the house trying to be all in the video, Like no, that wasn't
no Diddy, no Diddy, no Diddy, no Diddy, no Diddy.
He definitely like steps back, but he understands that, like the long round
without a negative, more work he got to do. So he'd be like,
yo, bitch, what's going on? You're going outside? You finding
somebody like your David, what's happening? And I'm like, I'm trying.
I wasn't trying though. What I'm trying now mean better, I mean better,
go be a better All right, y'all. Now let's get into the
edible portion of the show. So the adedible portion is when we read any
questions, comments and things that you guys send and uh and on the day
that we record, we put a prompt up, and if you have something
to say and it's not on one of the days that we have the prompt
up, you can always email me at yo, I really always have to
burk when we get here, excuse me, every fucking time, y'all.
I swear go back, like the last three episodes, every time we get
here I have to burn. But yeah, okay, seven, all right,
all right, seven, okay, yeah, email me at inquiries at
stormypea dot com. Right boom, Okay, So the first one. First
of all, mister Lowe Pierre says, date my baby mom would make an
interesting show. Yo, my baby My baby dad is like the exact opposite
of me. He's very introverted. He don't like talking to people that he
don't know, so he would not be a good person for the show just
because he's not me. He don't want to talk. He like, but
he's really one of the funniest things ever to me because he talks to me
like, that's my fucking nigga, that's my best friend. But everybody else
know he's not he's he's he's a fucking mute. So if I had an
outgoing baby dad, that would be a good show. Yeah, but okay,
first question for that, let's go, let's get it. Who was
smarter Sheldon Cooper, Steve Erkele or TJ. Henderson. First of all,
I'm rooting for everybody black. Second of all, right, not gonna lie
y'all for me. For me, If we say Sheldon Cooper, Steve Erkele,
or TJ. Henderson. I mean, I feel like we all can
agree, right, if we're doing the process of elimination, can we all
agree to eliminate TJ. Henderson. No disrespect to the smart guy, but
I feel like we all can eliminate TJ. Henderson. I mean, fire
intro, one of the best intros, though I don't know. I'm not
gonna lie. Family Matters had that shit. Yeah, TJ. Henderson just
gotta go. You just gotta go, by guy, You gotta fucking go.
So now we're down to come on, come on, y'all. You
saw Carl Winslow was at the Diddy parties. Okay, sorry, okay,
okay, okay, okay, No Diddy, no Diddy, no Diddy,
no Diddy. So now we're down to Sheldon Cooper and Steve Erkle. Bruh,
I'm not gonna lie. I'm gonna say Steve Arkle, Ah, I
know, Elle, but but Sheldon was an astrophysicust with astro physicists. Oh
oh, but Sheldon was an astrophysicist. So so Steve Arkle made robots and
fucking change of machines in the nineties. In the nineties, we didn't even
have internet, yet like what and not to mention my man was able to
turn into step Fine or Cow? What? You know how much money they
had to spend on plastic surgery for Kim Kardashian to turn into Kim Kardashian.
Come on, you know how much money Kylie Jenner had to spend on plastic
surgery to become thee Kylie Jenner. And all my man had to do was
step into an elevator door to become Stefine or Cow? What? Come on?
Now? Come on? Which Leen was better? The juice that Steve
drank to become Steve Stefan or kell Or did join Ivan Uz was selling in
the Power Rangers movie Battle of the Lean. You take the Arkle juice.
Ah m, Carolina Cash says, Steve fixed the spaceship in space. Steve
fixed the spaceship and space. Okay, oh my god. Outfit says Steve
had feeling which took away from his genius. Sheldon don't give a fuck,
Ty Grown says, and now look we have y'all going to fence. I
can't see it. I'm sorry y'all. Raded Fit says, I don't know
that power is this movie Lean, It had me in a joke. Hold
yo, I am crying. D rob A three one four says, uh,
Steve was gonna be baby daddy and a valedictorian. Dark Man seventeen says
Steve had a pretty girlfriend. Fem fatale says er Kel always fucked some shit
up. Fel didn't want to say, did I do that? He he
believe was a sweetheart. He had a good heart. Does that? Does
that count? What's Sheldon on the spectrum? Are we sure Sheldon wasn't on
a special Ashberger's know nothing. I don't know if I believe that. I
don't know if I believe that he gave a little bit of Ashberger's No,
mm hmm. Tig Grind said, if I'm more, I'm a morphan.
I'm crying. Steve dropped the ball with Myra simping over Laura. Him and
Myra was together for a bit sidebarrow. Why the fuck did y'all start that
rumor that fucking Myra? Wait? Did she actually die? Did she actually
die from it's no? Okay, we're gonna redact that. Yeah, I'll
take that. I'll take that, I'll take it out. Yeah, I
don't know. Long story short, my answer is Steve Urkle, also known
as the five or Kell Boom. He was fine a shit and didn't even
have a beard. But niggas in the nineties was a different type of fine
anyway, so I'm not I'm not surprised next one wasn't it was. I
feel like beauty period was different in the nineties, like for men and women
like huh a long beauty bruh. I feel like for men, the beauty,
the beauty and the level of handsomeness was like godly, like it was
given pharaohs. It was given like, oh my god, rocking if I
was an adult in the nineties, rocking crazy, yes, throw with a
beeper in a fucking drop top, yes. And I'm gonna be real,
sy'all. Y'all can say whatever y'all want to say about my man in his
pelvic thrusts, okay. But Chamar Moore was a fine ass nigga in the
nineties. Okay. That's why y'all think Jalen Hurts is so fine. It's
reminiscent of Shamar Moore. It's godly. It's for some pharaoh shit, I
can't explain it. But for the women too, like Nia long fucking Vivica
Fox like what these women were next level bat and the best part was minimalna
make up, no lashes, no heavy fucking eyeshadows and ship like that,
no contour and bronzer. It was fucking lip gloss in the eyebrow that was
it, and a skinny eyebrow at that like a. I don't know.
Status and beauty were different in the nineties. Oh my god, come on,
somebody like Holly Berry and you didn't even need weave back then. You
can have it if you want to. But like the short cuts was winning.
And you know, nowadays a shortcut automatically makes you look forty two.
Back then, the twenty year olds had him with still fire. Oh my
god. Ah oh Tygrin says, I actually got to touch Viveca once.
Baby. Don't write that like that. Tell you about to end up on
the diddy last. Don't write that like that. Don't write it like that,
please please? Uh ge Wegg says you nineties five, Oh thank you,
baby, You're so good to me. Outfie says to Sheena Arnold and
Tsha Campbell bricked up eleven year old you gotta relax, but yo, real
shit, is it just me? But when I go back and look at
Martin now pro to Sheena Arnold was a different type of fun body face,
and she was funny, y'all not giving to Sena Arnold enough credit dog,
Oh my god. And she could sing, she could sang, sang what
listen, go back, go back and look, go back and look,
mister little Pierre says, go look and your family. Nineties pigs Unk was
only twenty three looking like a grown ass thirty five year old. It was.
It was the gene shorts. It aged him. Okay, thank you,
thank you very much. Ti Grind says I did, though we two
stepped. You're not making a better baby, You're not. You are absolutely
not making it better. Aaron Nash seven three says nineties litt Kim bruh.
Don't get me started on nineties low Kim. And I'm not even talking about
blessing why but low Kim sis had a face card. She was one of
the most bruh. She was one of the baddest brownskin joints of the nineties.
And I'm willing to die on this hill. Oh my god, good
time. Bruh, bruh. Funny Ball TV says she looked good, and
everybody hates Chris too. Yead to Sheena Arnold did look bad and everybody hates
Chris. I like her there too, for sure? Sure sure, sure,
all right. Last question, if you could have a theme song play
every time you walked into a room, what would it be? That's a
good question. I wanna ask, y'all, if you could have a theme
song play every time you walked into a room, what would it be?
For me? I got a stink ass walk and a reckless ass mouth,
and my shit so tight when we fucked my pussy talk. I don't even
say what's up. I just tell him what I won't because I got another
nigga that's gonna do what if he won't? A it is? I lied.
I just want to sound cooler. I just want to do a rest
with my friends. I just want to be cool with my friends, Okay,
I just want to you know. It's And for those who are wondering,
that's a Megan Thief Stallion, don't stop featuring young Thuck Free Thucker.
Uh maybe not. I still don't know what he's being charged with. I'm
not gonna lie, y'll, y'all know what not being charged with? He
being he'd been like going through this whole rigamarole for a while, like let
my man free or don't what the fuck? No, no, no,
my real, my real, My real theme song would be uh, it
would be sird Cadillac Dreams. When not close my eyes, you're by my
side with the chock of the skin, dark hair, with those brown eyes.
I'm gonna see you win my Cadillac Dreams. Uh yeah, man,
y'all like her? I love sir, that's my song. Though you can't
sing. First of all, I can sing. You don't fucking belt out
when you're at a concert. You vibe? Okay, you don't. I
am at a concert. I'm live right now. Why you hating on me?
Shy? Damn carry a note? Sorry, sorry, sir. If
you see this or you hear this, if you need me to sing back
up, let me know. Okay, you don't know what he needs damn.
All right, y'all, we're gonna recap. What do we learn today?
Absolutely nothing? Thank you so much. Okay, Uh listen, my
message is always gonna be the say and follow me on the ground at stormy
p p e A at chocolate chip and sip and if you don't remember anything
else, Please remember I'm gonna see you in my Cadillac Dreams shot. I
can hear you sparking the lighter. Bye y'all, Bye bye,