WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.040 --> 00:00:03.279 Hi everyone, Welcome back to another podcast episode. My name is Alicia Gogan, 2 00:00:03.359 --> 00:00:06.639 the host of the Globe Secrets podcast, where I help you expand your 3 00:00:06.639 --> 00:00:09.759 mind and become more self aware so that you can glow up into the best 4 00:00:09.839 --> 00:00:15.359 version of yourself. How are we doing today? And realistically, I want 5 00:00:15.400 --> 00:00:19.800 you to ask yourself this, in whatever moment you're in right now, how 6 00:00:19.839 --> 00:00:25.160 are you feeling? Are you feeling happy? Are you feeling content? Are 7 00:00:25.160 --> 00:00:30.760 you feeling sad? Are you feeling lost? What is it? Whatever it 8 00:00:30.920 --> 00:00:34.560 is. When you come to that conclusion, I want you to try to 9 00:00:34.600 --> 00:00:41.600 just be okay with that feeling. This is something that I've had to really 10 00:00:42.399 --> 00:00:46.439 work on this week. This week, I've been feeling pretty good. I 11 00:00:46.479 --> 00:00:49.679 have been getting back into my routine now that I'm back home, I've been 12 00:00:49.679 --> 00:00:55.920 feeling a lot better. But personally, for me, I am a well. 13 00:00:55.960 --> 00:01:00.799 I used to be a chronic self improver, a perfection anist, and 14 00:01:00.920 --> 00:01:04.280 all or nothing type of girly. And so even now when I try and 15 00:01:04.319 --> 00:01:10.439 get back into routines or if I fall off of something, there's still the 16 00:01:10.519 --> 00:01:12.959 old version of me that wants to just go full forced. And when I 17 00:01:14.079 --> 00:01:18.959 don't, because that's not healthy. When I don't, I still have these 18 00:01:19.000 --> 00:01:23.439 thoughts sometimes about how I'm not doing enough or how right now not feeling super 19 00:01:23.480 --> 00:01:27.680 happy and content with my life. That is technically bad and wrong and we 20 00:01:27.680 --> 00:01:34.239 should try and get rid of this feeling. But over my years of healing, 21 00:01:34.640 --> 00:01:38.319 what I have been trying to do in the moments that I feel not 22 00:01:38.359 --> 00:01:41.599 the best is I just try and be with it. I try to be 23 00:01:41.680 --> 00:01:45.040 with myself. I try and just be okay. But the fact that, 24 00:01:45.159 --> 00:01:49.879 yeah, like I'm probably not doing everything that I need to be doing, 25 00:01:49.560 --> 00:01:53.599 or things still need to get done, or I'm confused, or i feel 26 00:01:53.599 --> 00:01:57.840 like my mind is like going crazy right now, or I'm sad, or 27 00:01:57.840 --> 00:02:02.159 I'm whatever, And I just want you to do the same whatever you are 28 00:02:02.200 --> 00:02:06.079 feeling, and if you're feeling happy and great and amazing and you're super motivated 29 00:02:06.079 --> 00:02:08.680 and amazing, because like we all need that, we all need to keep 30 00:02:08.719 --> 00:02:15.080 that energy. But I just wanted to say that because I feel like naturally 31 00:02:15.120 --> 00:02:20.520 we just want to rid any feeling that is not one hundred percent. And 32 00:02:21.680 --> 00:02:29.120 I think life becomes a lot easier and less stressful and less serious when you 33 00:02:29.199 --> 00:02:34.800 just accept that things are sometimes just chaotic in your life and like, who 34 00:02:34.840 --> 00:02:38.800 gives an f Honestly, you know, like this is life. So I 35 00:02:38.800 --> 00:02:43.639 hope we are doing pretty well though. If you're watching on YouTube, my 36 00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:46.159 hair is out. Ied my hair today for the first time in a very 37 00:02:46.199 --> 00:02:51.439 long time. We love it. It's a lot of freaking hair. If 38 00:02:51.479 --> 00:02:54.039 you don't watch on YouTube, then you'll know what my natural hair looks like 39 00:02:54.080 --> 00:03:00.039 because of my podcast arts. But yes, the hair is out, the 40 00:02:59.800 --> 00:03:02.120 sun is out, but it's a little bit. I did close the blind 41 00:03:02.319 --> 00:03:07.360 guys, I am having honestly, like I might as well. Just at 42 00:03:07.400 --> 00:03:14.800 this point. It's not about me having time to create a beautiful podcast studio. 43 00:03:15.439 --> 00:03:20.479 I just think that I'm having a crisis. I don't know what to 44 00:03:20.520 --> 00:03:24.199 do with this corner of my internet or my podcast, I should say now 45 00:03:24.240 --> 00:03:28.520 again, if you are only listening on Spotify or Apple, you won't really 46 00:03:28.520 --> 00:03:30.479 be able to see. But I feel like most of you guys have probably 47 00:03:30.560 --> 00:03:35.680 checked out the Instagram or sorry not the Instagram, the YouTube channel at one 48 00:03:35.719 --> 00:03:38.719 point, but there's nothing to really even see. But I have a corner 49 00:03:38.719 --> 00:03:42.120 behind me, and I wanted to be cute and esthetic, but I don't 50 00:03:42.199 --> 00:03:46.280 know, like the camera angles, I don't know if they're going to be 51 00:03:46.319 --> 00:03:50.039 working correctly. I kind of want to buy like a chair that's comfy and 52 00:03:50.080 --> 00:03:53.000 more cozy than the one that I'm sitting on now. I was thinking about 53 00:03:53.000 --> 00:03:55.680 getting a neon light that's not really neon, but it's like a light. 54 00:03:58.159 --> 00:04:00.919 But then I'm like, is that too base sick? And then I don't 55 00:04:00.919 --> 00:04:04.000 know what esthetic or style that I want to go for, and I have 56 00:04:04.039 --> 00:04:09.840 this mere here that would probably move like I'm kind of liking like a brown 57 00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:13.919 esthetic, like a boho aesthetic, beach aesthetic. But then I'm like, 58 00:04:14.000 --> 00:04:15.920 do I want to change that? And then I'm like it doesn't really matter 59 00:04:15.959 --> 00:04:19.959 because then I can change it if I want to, and me prolonging getting 60 00:04:20.319 --> 00:04:24.839 something just doesn't make sense at this point. So anyways, I don't know. 61 00:04:24.879 --> 00:04:28.240 I'm having a crisis. So if anyone wants to just decide for me, 62 00:04:28.319 --> 00:04:30.720 please let me know in the comments, like honestly at this point, 63 00:04:30.759 --> 00:04:32.519 but yeah, I don't know. That was a rant that probably didn't need 64 00:04:32.560 --> 00:04:35.759 to happen, but it did, and we're here. So today I want 65 00:04:35.759 --> 00:04:42.839 to talk about how to be a better you every day now, before we 66 00:04:42.879 --> 00:04:46.000 get into some of my things, And I also asked you guys on Instagram, 67 00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:47.800 So I'm going to read out all of your responses, or a lot 68 00:04:47.800 --> 00:04:50.519 of them. I should say, not all of them, because there's a 69 00:04:50.519 --> 00:04:56.439 lot. I love you guys for always answering my questions, But I just 70 00:04:56.920 --> 00:05:00.120 want to talk about one thing. When I say how to be a better 71 00:05:00.160 --> 00:05:04.040 you every single day, I don't really mean any of these things that I'm 72 00:05:04.079 --> 00:05:10.040 going to list out that you would have to do every single day, and 73 00:05:10.079 --> 00:05:12.839 if you miss a day, then you're like not going to be the best 74 00:05:12.959 --> 00:05:15.240 version of you. I think you guys know at this point, I am 75 00:05:15.399 --> 00:05:21.759 very much so a cyclical being. I am very much so accepting the imperfections 76 00:05:21.879 --> 00:05:27.680 and the flows of life, and every single time I try and be linear 77 00:05:27.920 --> 00:05:31.079 and super I don't even want to say consistent, because consistency can be something 78 00:05:31.120 --> 00:05:33.399 that happens once a week. It doesn't have to be every single day. 79 00:05:33.639 --> 00:05:38.800 But doing something so rigid it never works because it's literally impossible to do the 80 00:05:38.800 --> 00:05:42.800 exact same thing. Like we're talking wellness, anything right, something good for 81 00:05:42.839 --> 00:05:46.319 your health, something good for your mental health, whatever, every single day. 82 00:05:46.600 --> 00:05:48.040 And I think that when we hold ourselves to a standard of doing something 83 00:05:48.079 --> 00:05:54.839 every single day, we just set ourselves up for failure. So I think 84 00:05:54.879 --> 00:05:57.920 the things that I'm going to say are things that you can implement in your 85 00:05:57.959 --> 00:06:00.720 life as much as you possibly can. But the things that I did list 86 00:06:00.759 --> 00:06:06.079 out from my personal lists are something that honestly I have been the absolute most 87 00:06:06.120 --> 00:06:11.360 consistent with and honestly probably do this mainly every day. But we'll talk about 88 00:06:11.360 --> 00:06:14.480 it, and then I'm gonna give you my commentary on your guys's things, 89 00:06:14.519 --> 00:06:17.160 because I think some of you guys give us some really good responses, and 90 00:06:17.639 --> 00:06:20.000 we are trying to be our best versions of ourselves, are we not? 91 00:06:21.319 --> 00:06:26.160 I'm waiting for the answer right now. What is the answer. It's fine, 92 00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:28.480 you don't need to answer, because it's obviously yes. Yes, we 93 00:06:28.560 --> 00:06:31.959 are trying to always become the best versions of ourselves. And I'm recording this 94 00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:34.959 on August first. When you guys listen to this episode, it'll be like 95 00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:39.920 August third, I think. By the way, the next day after you 96 00:06:39.959 --> 00:06:43.120 hear this podcast, I'm going to be seeing Central C. So just know 97 00:06:43.240 --> 00:06:46.160 that and just follow me on Instagram so you can see some Central C content 98 00:06:46.199 --> 00:06:51.040 if you like him. A lot of you guys are very surprised that I 99 00:06:51.079 --> 00:06:56.000 listened to Central C or any UK rap or like rap in general, which 100 00:06:56.040 --> 00:06:58.399 I think is so funny. And I think one thing maybe I will talk 101 00:06:58.399 --> 00:07:02.360 about before we get into this is like, I'm very multifaceted. Okay, 102 00:07:04.279 --> 00:07:10.480 I think for many reasons. I think partly it's because I'm mixed as well. 103 00:07:10.879 --> 00:07:14.040 Not to say that you can't like Central See your rap or any sort 104 00:07:14.040 --> 00:07:17.399 of cultured things if you were Caucasian. Okay, that's not what I'm saying. 105 00:07:17.439 --> 00:07:20.600 But I have a black side, I have a white side, and 106 00:07:20.720 --> 00:07:27.439 on top of that, I just don't like living my life in extremes. 107 00:07:27.519 --> 00:07:32.759 And honestly, I think just being a woman and having a cycle also plays 108 00:07:32.759 --> 00:07:36.199 a role in this, and just living seasonal. Like I there's so many 109 00:07:36.279 --> 00:07:41.639 seasons of life that I live through on a sometimes it feels like a week 110 00:07:41.639 --> 00:07:46.519 to week basis, but monthly obviously yearly. And so I don't like to 111 00:07:46.560 --> 00:07:50.480 just like I'm saying this because when I talk about self development or advice or 112 00:07:50.560 --> 00:07:54.759 healing, and then if you go on my Instagram and you see me like 113 00:07:54.879 --> 00:07:57.240 at the gym listening to Central See, you'd be like, WHOA, I 114 00:07:57.240 --> 00:08:00.199 didn't expect her to be listening to that type of music or like whatever. 115 00:08:01.759 --> 00:08:05.480 I don't like to just be this like healing girl or just listen to guide 116 00:08:05.480 --> 00:08:07.920 and meditations all day or a journal all day. Like, yes, I 117 00:08:07.920 --> 00:08:11.920 do the journaling. Yes I take care of my body, Yes I eat 118 00:08:11.920 --> 00:08:13.360 well, Yes I move my body. But like also I go out and 119 00:08:13.399 --> 00:08:16.680 I have a great time. I go out and drink with my friends, 120 00:08:16.759 --> 00:08:20.600 not often, like honestly, I really have the worst hangovers ever. So 121 00:08:20.680 --> 00:08:26.560 I just honestly I just can't. But I listen to rap music. I 122 00:08:26.600 --> 00:08:30.839 swear a lot. That is actually a fun fact about me. I do 123 00:08:30.920 --> 00:08:33.279 swear a lot. It is not something that I'm proud of. But I 124 00:08:33.320 --> 00:08:39.759 also just like that's just me. I grew up in a very like suburban, 125 00:08:39.159 --> 00:08:43.480 small town type of vibe where I just feel like everyone was just real 126 00:08:43.720 --> 00:08:48.720 and there's a lot of banter, and so in my personal life for the 127 00:08:48.759 --> 00:08:54.000 majority of my relationships, I'm very like chilled and laid back and very accepting 128 00:08:54.039 --> 00:08:56.759 of others and just like normal, And I hope that I come across like 129 00:08:56.879 --> 00:09:01.000 that on obviously my content. I think for most part, you guys like 130 00:09:01.080 --> 00:09:07.039 do feel like I'm like very accepting and like not perfect, but I'm very 131 00:09:07.120 --> 00:09:09.519 much so like that outside of even my content. So I don't know, 132 00:09:09.679 --> 00:09:13.039 another rant that was not really needed, But maybe this will just be an 133 00:09:13.080 --> 00:09:16.279 inspiration or a reminder to you that you do not have to be one way. 134 00:09:16.320 --> 00:09:20.120 Because last thing I'll say here maybe not the last thing. But when 135 00:09:20.200 --> 00:09:26.840 I first got really influenced by the wellness girlies on Instagram back in the day, 136 00:09:26.759 --> 00:09:31.639 I was trying to live up to the standard of like whatever I saw 137 00:09:31.679 --> 00:09:35.000 on social media. So like I would see them drink their green juices every 138 00:09:35.080 --> 00:09:37.200 day, going on the hawk Row walks when they weren't called Hawkgrow walks back 139 00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:41.559 then, all of their white, clean aesthetic, and I would just I 140 00:09:41.559 --> 00:09:45.679 would literally spend so much money getting all these supplements, and I would try 141 00:09:45.679 --> 00:09:50.159 and live their life and I would fail, literally fail miserably because I couldn't 142 00:09:50.320 --> 00:09:52.720 up keep it. I didn't have enough money. And on top of that, 143 00:09:52.440 --> 00:09:58.440 I just like, maybe I could have my life kind of look the 144 00:09:58.519 --> 00:10:01.960 way that their life's look, but then that would only be like thirty seconds 145 00:10:01.960 --> 00:10:05.720 of my day and then the rest of the day is like real and normal. 146 00:10:05.759 --> 00:10:07.919 And on top of that, back in the day when I was dealing 147 00:10:07.960 --> 00:10:11.960 with my mom's addictions, when I was literally like unhealthy, depressed everything like 148 00:10:11.000 --> 00:10:15.200 I was going through it, and then I just realized like this is not 149 00:10:15.519 --> 00:10:18.399 I cannot live up to the standard. And then when I really actually became 150 00:10:18.480 --> 00:10:22.200 that technically, I don't even want to say a wellness really because I'm not 151 00:10:22.240 --> 00:10:26.879 really but you know, an influence or content creator, like truly even now, 152 00:10:28.159 --> 00:10:33.360 of course, my life looks amazing and pretty picture perfect, but I'm 153 00:10:33.399 --> 00:10:35.840 not even trying to do this. This is just my life. But honestly, 154 00:10:37.879 --> 00:10:41.639 it's still not perfect, and there are things that I just won't create 155 00:10:41.799 --> 00:10:46.799 or show if I feel like it is inauthentic to me. But I just 156 00:10:46.840 --> 00:10:50.759 want to say that because you might be trying to live up to a standard, 157 00:10:50.080 --> 00:10:54.480 and if you are really struggling with that, just know that it's okay, 158 00:10:54.519 --> 00:10:58.279 and honestly, eventually you just get there. Anyways, Like if you 159 00:10:58.519 --> 00:11:01.480 can only have one green juice a week or a month and not every single 160 00:11:01.600 --> 00:11:05.480 day like the way that you see your other girlies online doing it, just 161 00:11:05.759 --> 00:11:09.639 know that that is okay. And eventually, if you want to drink green 162 00:11:09.759 --> 00:11:13.279 juice every single day and you want your apartment to be super aesthetic and you 163 00:11:13.320 --> 00:11:16.080 want whatever it is that you want, just know that you can get that 164 00:11:16.120 --> 00:11:18.639 and you can have that, and that is totally fine. Girl. I'm 165 00:11:18.679 --> 00:11:20.840 not even trying to strip that dream away from you because we all like nice 166 00:11:20.840 --> 00:11:24.840 things. But like, you don't have to break the bank, and like 167 00:11:24.039 --> 00:11:28.120 it'll come, okay, So just do what you can. You don't have 168 00:11:28.120 --> 00:11:31.240 to do everything full force, all right now, I am truly done with 169 00:11:31.240 --> 00:11:35.399 the ranting. Okay. So I wrote a list of some things that helped 170 00:11:35.440 --> 00:11:39.759 me become a better me every single day. And the first thing, and 171 00:11:39.799 --> 00:11:41.519 I think I kind of really already touched on this a lot, but that 172 00:11:41.679 --> 00:11:46.120 is to stop being so hard on yourself. And this is something that I 173 00:11:46.240 --> 00:11:52.759 constantly battle with. Although it's a lot less and the voice is much smaller 174 00:11:52.240 --> 00:11:58.960 and less loud, I guess than previous years, but you know, I 175 00:11:58.960 --> 00:12:01.320 still struggle with it now when I'm trying to achieve goals in my life or 176 00:12:01.399 --> 00:12:05.840 try to get things done, or when it comes to relationship issues or like 177 00:12:05.919 --> 00:12:11.639 whatever. It's like, I expect myself to know the answer to everything and 178 00:12:11.759 --> 00:12:15.240 to do it perfectly and to do it right, and even when it comes 179 00:12:15.279 --> 00:12:16.600 to relationships. Right. I was thinking about this the other day, Like 180 00:12:18.840 --> 00:12:22.120 I was literally looking out the window and I was like, nobody has it 181 00:12:22.279 --> 00:12:28.679 figured out this standard of a relationship of what you are trying to achieve, 182 00:12:28.039 --> 00:12:33.039 or these expectations that you're holding. Not to say that we shouldn't have expectations 183 00:12:33.039 --> 00:12:37.519 to relationships, yes we should, but like we have this like picture of 184 00:12:37.559 --> 00:12:39.799 what it's supposed to look like, and if we don't get it in that 185 00:12:39.879 --> 00:12:48.000 moment, it's like we've failed and or drop everything restart. And of course 186 00:12:48.080 --> 00:12:50.559 you have to know when to kind of let things go, especially when we're 187 00:12:50.600 --> 00:12:54.519 talking about relationships, but anything in general right in your life. But you 188 00:12:54.559 --> 00:13:00.559 have to understand that things take time, Things take you trying and then trying 189 00:13:00.600 --> 00:13:05.120 again and readjusting and microadjusting, and so for you to be so hard on 190 00:13:05.159 --> 00:13:11.720 yourself when things aren't absolutely perfect, it's such flawed thinking and it really keeps 191 00:13:11.759 --> 00:13:15.200 you stuck. It keeps you stuck in the sense of like when it comes 192 00:13:15.200 --> 00:13:18.759 to dieting and fitness, if you mess up one thing in your mind, 193 00:13:18.919 --> 00:13:20.039 like oh my god, I had this piece of cake when I'm supposed to 194 00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:22.039 be on this diet, Well it's Friday, so I guess I'll just start 195 00:13:22.080 --> 00:13:26.759 over a Monday. That's not a good way to be treating your body and 196 00:13:26.879 --> 00:13:31.360 living life, right. You should be picking yourself back up whenever you can, 197 00:13:31.600 --> 00:13:33.519 instead of being like, oh, okay, well, I'll just start 198 00:13:33.600 --> 00:13:37.039 whenever I feel like it just makes sense on like Monday or like whatever, 199 00:13:37.159 --> 00:13:39.879 or next season, or even when it comes to relationship, when you know 200 00:13:41.080 --> 00:13:46.360 you're struggling to work through something in a relationship, you go online and social 201 00:13:46.399 --> 00:13:48.960 media and these girls are being like, oh, if you wanted to, 202 00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:50.919 he would, and like, you know, get your get you a man 203 00:13:50.960 --> 00:13:54.279 who's gonna buy you this, that in the third because an ugly man will 204 00:13:54.320 --> 00:13:56.840 do just the same and he'll also leave you and this that, So you 205 00:13:56.879 --> 00:13:58.639 might as well find a guy who has money, this that, whatever. 206 00:13:58.679 --> 00:14:01.840 I'm just like pulling shit on my ass right now, but whatever it is 207 00:14:01.919 --> 00:14:05.440 right And then it makes you be like, you know what, screw whatever 208 00:14:05.480 --> 00:14:07.919 I have here, I'm just going to walk away from it. But it's 209 00:14:07.960 --> 00:14:11.879 like, okay, again, we have certain standards or things, and we 210 00:14:11.960 --> 00:14:13.840 have to see when things really aren't working. But a lot of the time 211 00:14:13.919 --> 00:14:18.480 it's like we give up so fast and we're so hard on ourselves, and 212 00:14:18.519 --> 00:14:22.919 we just need to remember to relax. Okay. The way that you are 213 00:14:22.960 --> 00:14:28.279 going to relax and just live in the present moment is to be okay with 214 00:14:28.759 --> 00:14:33.480 the imperfections of life, the imperfections of you, the imperfections of your relationships 215 00:14:33.519 --> 00:14:37.039 and your friendships and your opportunities and your career path and your whatever the hell 216 00:14:37.080 --> 00:14:41.960 you're going through right now. It doesn't need to be perfect. It's you 217 00:14:41.039 --> 00:14:46.919 that are putting rules and regulations and things placed on whatever it is you're trying 218 00:14:46.919 --> 00:14:52.639 to have, and you're the one that's creating more of the suffering, more 219 00:14:52.639 --> 00:14:56.799 of this unhappiness. It's unfortunate too, because we've never really learned how to 220 00:14:56.840 --> 00:15:01.600 be okay with the unknown, or be okay with not having everything handed to 221 00:15:01.679 --> 00:15:05.720 us at every second. I think it doesn't help when we are the era 222 00:15:05.879 --> 00:15:11.159 of children that grew up on social media and so naturally we kind of did 223 00:15:11.240 --> 00:15:16.279 get everything at a push of a button or a dopamine kick right away, 224 00:15:16.399 --> 00:15:22.399 right, and we're so used to and addicted to the instant gratification. But 225 00:15:22.759 --> 00:15:28.080 that is so freaking fleeting. It is so fleeting, And you know that 226 00:15:28.159 --> 00:15:33.240 because we all really deep down hate TikTok and like short form content and just 227 00:15:33.320 --> 00:15:37.559 like you know, we know it, but we still don't live it sometimes. 228 00:15:37.559 --> 00:15:41.960 And something that I've really learned as I've been growing up, girl, 229 00:15:41.639 --> 00:15:48.399 I'm twenty seven, I'm turning twenty eight in November. I really understand this 230 00:15:48.519 --> 00:15:52.720 whole slow living and just like being in the present moment and not always being 231 00:15:52.759 --> 00:15:56.600 on that pursuit for the next thing, the next project, more money, 232 00:15:56.639 --> 00:16:00.440 more business, more everything. It is great that we do these things and 233 00:16:00.480 --> 00:16:03.960 we have goals in our lives, but something that I'm starting to really come 234 00:16:04.000 --> 00:16:08.559 to in my life is like I don't want to just conquer it all and 235 00:16:08.679 --> 00:16:11.480 be perfect and get everything. I want to be in the present moment. 236 00:16:11.799 --> 00:16:17.399 I want to be okay with shit, not being absolutely perfect and being happy 237 00:16:17.480 --> 00:16:22.039 anyways. I want to be able to look forward to all of the great 238 00:16:22.080 --> 00:16:26.919 things that are going to happen because I don't have them yet, all of 239 00:16:26.960 --> 00:16:30.480 the answers that I still don't have about things but I will find them eventually. 240 00:16:30.919 --> 00:16:36.159 The relationship that I'm longing to have, the family, the home. 241 00:16:37.039 --> 00:16:41.840 Guys. Girls, you guys know, I'm trying to be a suburban housewife, 242 00:16:41.960 --> 00:16:45.039 but I will be working and that's just because I love what I do. 243 00:16:45.320 --> 00:16:49.240 But listen, I want that so damn bad. But I'm also like 244 00:16:49.440 --> 00:16:52.759 so okay with not having that right now, because I'm like, first of 245 00:16:52.759 --> 00:16:56.679 all, I know it's coming, and like there's so much to be done 246 00:16:56.679 --> 00:17:00.480 and lived right now. I don't need to rush. I don't need to 247 00:17:00.480 --> 00:17:06.039 be perfect. So yeah, I guess not rushing and like not being hard 248 00:17:06.039 --> 00:17:08.160 on yourself kind of like went interchangeably there. But that is something that I 249 00:17:08.279 --> 00:17:11.839 really really live by and something that I try and remind myself of all the 250 00:17:11.880 --> 00:17:17.960 time. I think something that really helps me not be perfect and also slow 251 00:17:18.039 --> 00:17:22.200 down is really connecting more to myself and what I want and having almost like 252 00:17:22.319 --> 00:17:26.240 a tunnel vision of how I want my life to look and feel. And 253 00:17:26.279 --> 00:17:32.440 I only listen and I only consume stuff that really nurtures what it is that 254 00:17:32.519 --> 00:17:36.240 I want in my life. Because this is the thing, like there are 255 00:17:36.279 --> 00:17:37.759 going to be so many people telling you how to live your life and what 256 00:17:37.799 --> 00:17:41.359 you should do and what you should be interested in, and all these different 257 00:17:41.359 --> 00:17:47.359 podcasts and all these different courses and like you go on TikTok I literally and 258 00:17:47.440 --> 00:17:51.240 I feel like such a hypocrite because I do post on TikTok, and I 259 00:17:51.279 --> 00:17:56.240 hope that I just post so that I can help people, which I do. 260 00:17:56.279 --> 00:17:59.240 I know that I do, But like when I go on TikTok, 261 00:18:00.319 --> 00:18:03.759 I literally do not scroll on that app. I do not scroll it. 262 00:18:03.759 --> 00:18:07.319 It hasn't been a thing for such a long time. I'd really just post, 263 00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:11.039 but sometimes if I'm trying to look for sounds like, I'll do it 264 00:18:11.079 --> 00:18:14.480 for a second and then I just can't even and I just like scroll and 265 00:18:14.519 --> 00:18:18.160 I hear somebody telling me about how my relationship should be, or like how 266 00:18:18.200 --> 00:18:19.960 to get this guide to commit to you, or like what to do when 267 00:18:19.960 --> 00:18:25.839 this happens, or like somebody's relationship not working out, or like somebody crying 268 00:18:25.839 --> 00:18:29.839 because they lost a loved one, or like a beautiful home in the suburbs 269 00:18:29.839 --> 00:18:32.799 that maybe I really want. And then on top of that, somebody's talking 270 00:18:32.799 --> 00:18:37.519 about freaking inflation and how everyone's broken this that I literally scream, Like I 271 00:18:37.559 --> 00:18:41.680 literally scream when I go on that app because I'm like, I'm so done 272 00:18:41.160 --> 00:18:45.759 with listening to shit that I don't want to and listen. It sounds a 273 00:18:45.799 --> 00:18:49.720 little bit, It sounds a little ignorant in this way when you say, 274 00:18:49.759 --> 00:18:52.920 like I don't want to listen to the news anymore, or like I don't 275 00:18:52.920 --> 00:18:56.640 want to hear what's going on in the world. And I am very aware 276 00:18:56.680 --> 00:18:57.559 of what's going on in the world right now, and the pain and the 277 00:18:57.559 --> 00:19:02.759 suffering and things are always there's always a tragedy. But in my reality, 278 00:19:02.839 --> 00:19:06.799 I would really love to be able to protect my peace in my mind and 279 00:19:06.839 --> 00:19:11.240 I have gone through enough shit and most likely you guys too that I really 280 00:19:11.240 --> 00:19:15.000 do think it's just time that we protect our minds and our lives and we 281 00:19:15.160 --> 00:19:18.279 just tunnel vision and we focus in on what it is that we want in 282 00:19:18.279 --> 00:19:22.799 our lives and so only consuming things that make you feel good. If that's 283 00:19:22.839 --> 00:19:27.039 what makes you feel good, just do it. Stop consuming things that don't 284 00:19:27.079 --> 00:19:32.279 make you feel good. Stop listening to people and their beliefs and their advice 285 00:19:32.359 --> 00:19:36.000 on telling you how you should act and move and be in whatever, when 286 00:19:36.039 --> 00:19:38.960 it's not aligned with what it is that you really want in your life. 287 00:19:40.240 --> 00:19:45.480 And I hold a vision so goddamn strong within my mind of how I want 288 00:19:45.480 --> 00:19:48.759 my life to look and what I want. And there are definitely times and 289 00:19:48.960 --> 00:19:51.920 I know you guys might even be surprised. But there's definitely still times that 290 00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:56.319 I doubt that and I have those debts because of outside sources of you know, 291 00:19:56.480 --> 00:20:00.119 well, you should be building this business and you should contin and you 292 00:20:00.240 --> 00:20:03.119 to do more and you continue to produce, and um, you should have 293 00:20:03.720 --> 00:20:07.759 like the man that you should be with should do this that in the third 294 00:20:07.799 --> 00:20:10.839 for you, and if not, you can't be with him, or like 295 00:20:11.119 --> 00:20:12.920 you should do this or that, or you should travel here before you settle 296 00:20:12.960 --> 00:20:17.680 down, and you shouldn't have kids until this age. I don't give a 297 00:20:17.759 --> 00:20:22.400 flying f anymore. And this is something that's taken me twenty seven years to 298 00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:26.880 get to, so hopefully you get to it sooner rather than later. But 299 00:20:27.079 --> 00:20:32.759 seriously, what I've come to realize is just decide to do what you want 300 00:20:32.799 --> 00:20:36.359 to do and do it shamelessly. And that is something that I'm on right 301 00:20:36.359 --> 00:20:38.440 now. And it takes practice, though, right It takes you stop second 302 00:20:38.440 --> 00:20:42.960 guessing yourself, stop doubting yourself, you know, to tell yourself like, 303 00:20:44.039 --> 00:20:47.319 oh, I'm not doing enough, that's the thing, right, Like personally, 304 00:20:47.519 --> 00:20:49.079 one of my goals, like I've already kind of said, is I 305 00:20:49.160 --> 00:20:52.839 want a suburb at home. I want a beautiful home in a neighborhood where 306 00:20:52.880 --> 00:20:57.079 it's very walkable and there's nature and there's peace, and I'm with my husband 307 00:20:57.240 --> 00:21:00.359 and I'm with my children, and I'm doing social media and I'm doing the 308 00:21:00.359 --> 00:21:03.599 things that I love, and I have my friends, and that's what I 309 00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:10.279 want, Okay. I don't want to be flown out to freaking Italy and 310 00:21:10.319 --> 00:21:15.000 to go live my best like single girl summer or like a like a rich 311 00:21:15.079 --> 00:21:18.640 auntie life. Listen, and that's what you want to do, amazing, 312 00:21:18.880 --> 00:21:19.960 but that's not what I want to do. But if you go on social 313 00:21:21.000 --> 00:21:22.880 media, you scroll, somebody's telling you that's what you should do, and 314 00:21:22.920 --> 00:21:26.720 then the opposite, somebody's telling you should have your kids. What do you 315 00:21:26.759 --> 00:21:32.519 want? Literally, what do you want? And go for it shamelessly. 316 00:21:32.920 --> 00:21:34.720 Okay, that's all I'm going to say about that. The next thing on 317 00:21:34.759 --> 00:21:37.599 my list of how to be a better you every day is to have a 318 00:21:37.680 --> 00:21:41.759 journal practice to redirect your thoughts. So I'm gonna talk about general practices a 319 00:21:41.799 --> 00:21:45.839 little bit more, but honestly, that is, like I would say, 320 00:21:45.000 --> 00:21:51.079 ninety percent of the time, I am journaling every single morning, and I'm 321 00:21:51.119 --> 00:21:55.039 writing out who I want to be what I'm excited for, any feelings, 322 00:21:55.240 --> 00:21:56.960 anything that I'm going through, I'm writing it out. I think it's one 323 00:21:57.000 --> 00:22:02.319 of the most empowering things that I've been able to do for myself because I've 324 00:22:02.359 --> 00:22:06.240 been able to train myself to get myself out of a rut, of a 325 00:22:06.359 --> 00:22:11.000 low point, out of negative thoughts by simply pouring in positive thoughts into my 326 00:22:11.039 --> 00:22:15.960 mind. And now I definitely get help through certain people online that I watch 327 00:22:17.000 --> 00:22:21.039 on YouTube to get my mind right. But cultivating a practice where you're able 328 00:22:21.119 --> 00:22:25.799 to tell yourself a new story, a better story when you are feeling like 329 00:22:25.880 --> 00:22:30.440 crap will literally change your life. I have a video called The Ultimate Guide 330 00:22:30.440 --> 00:22:33.160 to journal Practicing on my YouTube channel, so definitely go check that out if 331 00:22:33.160 --> 00:22:37.559 you're interested. The next thing to help you be a better person every day 332 00:22:37.759 --> 00:22:41.400 is to do something that makes you feel alive. And this really just means 333 00:22:41.480 --> 00:22:45.680 romanticizing your damn life, girl, Like, can we stop having a boring 334 00:22:45.759 --> 00:22:49.839 life? Like I go, I'm inflow through these things, okay, and 335 00:22:51.359 --> 00:22:55.400 like I'm sure you do too, but you know, like discipline, I 336 00:22:55.559 --> 00:22:57.880 get it to be consistent and to show up for yourself, and it's important 337 00:22:57.920 --> 00:23:02.559 and masculin energies, porn, but sometimes it's a little bit boring, okay, 338 00:23:02.599 --> 00:23:03.960 and sometimes we have to do the boring things. Okay. I'm not 339 00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:07.559 saying everything, every moment of your life is going to be super fun, 340 00:23:07.880 --> 00:23:15.200 but let's try to do more things that make us happy in our lives. 341 00:23:15.720 --> 00:23:21.319 And simply if like waking up in the morning and your morning routine is fueling 342 00:23:21.319 --> 00:23:26.119 your body and making a coffee and going on Pinterest, but making sure that 343 00:23:26.160 --> 00:23:29.480 you actually take action after you go on Pinterest. Okay, I'm not saying 344 00:23:29.799 --> 00:23:32.559 go on pinches and scroll for hours. We're not doing that. We're not 345 00:23:32.720 --> 00:23:37.000 escaping, okay. But like having a little vibe going, or like going 346 00:23:37.039 --> 00:23:40.000 on your balcony and like reading a little bit of your book or talking to 347 00:23:40.039 --> 00:23:44.079 a friend, or just journaling and thinking about the life that you're creating. 348 00:23:44.119 --> 00:23:47.079 Anything, I don't care. Or throughout the day you go on a little 349 00:23:47.240 --> 00:23:49.759 midday hot girl walk and you're listening to a podcast, or even if it's 350 00:23:49.759 --> 00:23:53.279 not every single day, if it's a weekly date with yourself and you're going 351 00:23:53.279 --> 00:23:56.079 to the beach or you're going to read your book or whatever it is, 352 00:23:56.119 --> 00:23:59.480 I don't care. Can you start doing more of it, thank you, 353 00:24:00.160 --> 00:24:03.680 because sometimes I get into these ruts, not even ruts, but I'm just 354 00:24:03.720 --> 00:24:07.799 like uninspired and not happy in life. And I'm like, but I'm the 355 00:24:07.839 --> 00:24:10.920 one choosing to do this, Like I'm the one not doing things that make 356 00:24:11.000 --> 00:24:12.799 me feel good. So I need to start making myself feel good by doing 357 00:24:12.839 --> 00:24:18.319 certain things like romanticizing my life and right now for me, reading, going 358 00:24:18.319 --> 00:24:22.839 on Pinterests, posting, doing my content. I literally feel like it's Christmas 359 00:24:22.920 --> 00:24:25.519 Day when I post my content. I swear it's just so fun and I 360 00:24:25.559 --> 00:24:30.240 love seeing your guys's comment and everyone just like in such good energy. Recently, 361 00:24:30.400 --> 00:24:33.519 I have been testing out doing more vlogs. Not vlogs, when am 362 00:24:33.519 --> 00:24:37.039 I talking about? I am doing vlogs on my YouTube channel, but reels 363 00:24:37.720 --> 00:24:41.960 just like taking clips with my life because it's cute. Why not a quick 364 00:24:42.000 --> 00:24:47.720 pause because we need to talk about something. Do you ever get in your 365 00:24:47.759 --> 00:24:51.880 head when you are intimate with somebody else, Because that is something that I 366 00:24:51.920 --> 00:24:56.599 have struggled with literally all of my adult life until I decided that I need 367 00:24:56.640 --> 00:25:02.759 to not only identify the root of distracting thoughts, but also to find practical 368 00:25:02.799 --> 00:25:07.400 techniques to tune back into my body during my intimate relationships with others. And 369 00:25:07.440 --> 00:25:11.759 that is why I am going to highly recommend the Back to your Body online 370 00:25:11.799 --> 00:25:17.599 course, which is not only one of my favorite, but one of hundreds 371 00:25:17.680 --> 00:25:22.440 of courses on the Educated platform, which is of course today's sponsor. And 372 00:25:22.480 --> 00:25:26.000 if you guys have never heard of Educated, Educated brings pleasure based sex education 373 00:25:26.200 --> 00:25:30.599 right to your bedroom, meaning they offer over one hundred online courses from the 374 00:25:30.640 --> 00:25:37.240 world's top experts to teach you how to have better pleasure, discover new ways 375 00:25:37.279 --> 00:25:41.359 to spice things up in the bedroom, build your confidence when it comes to 376 00:25:41.480 --> 00:25:45.920 intimacy, while also learning how to communicate better, have better boundaries, and 377 00:25:45.079 --> 00:25:49.680 really go for your desires. You guys know I am not afraid to talk 378 00:25:49.720 --> 00:25:53.519 about the fact that I care about my sexual well being. I love to 379 00:25:53.599 --> 00:25:57.160 educate myself. I love to feel empowered, I love to be confident, 380 00:25:57.400 --> 00:26:00.119 and I want you guys to feel this aim too, if that is something 381 00:26:00.119 --> 00:26:03.720 that you want to explore. So bringing it back to what I was saying 382 00:26:03.759 --> 00:26:07.440 about getting in your head while you're intimate with other people, I think this 383 00:26:07.519 --> 00:26:11.240 is a perfect course to start if you do want to try out Educated and 384 00:26:11.319 --> 00:26:15.119 in this specific course. It helps you identify the roots of your distracting thoughts, 385 00:26:15.440 --> 00:26:19.079 practical techniques to tune back into your body during sex communication, tips and 386 00:26:19.119 --> 00:26:23.839 helpful affirmations and ideas for mindful sex dates. And you can take this course 387 00:26:23.880 --> 00:26:30.440 and hundreds more by getting forty percent off the yearly pass with my coupon Alicia 388 00:26:30.799 --> 00:26:36.559 Eli Cia or alternatively, you can try all Educated courses for one day for 389 00:26:36.599 --> 00:26:38.960 free. You will not be charged for the first twenty four hours and you 390 00:26:38.960 --> 00:26:42.720 can of course cancel out any time. There is a no risk policy in 391 00:26:42.720 --> 00:26:47.160 which they offer fourteen day money back guarantee, which I also think is very 392 00:26:47.200 --> 00:26:51.279 important with the brand who backs themselves, and they are going to allow you 393 00:26:51.440 --> 00:26:53.400 to get your money back if you feel which you won't need to, I 394 00:26:53.519 --> 00:26:59.160 promise you. It is a great great platform to use, so make sure 395 00:26:59.279 --> 00:27:02.599 to use my code and click the link that will be in the description in 396 00:27:02.640 --> 00:27:06.039 the show notes if you want to try. And thank you again for Educated 397 00:27:06.079 --> 00:27:10.240 for sponsoring today's episode. The next thing to help you become a better person 398 00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:14.839 is to stop choosing hardship. Stop telling yourself things are going to be so 399 00:27:14.880 --> 00:27:18.440 hard. I just recorded a video before this podcast episode that I'll be on 400 00:27:18.480 --> 00:27:22.799 my YouTube channel. It'll actually be after this goes live, because it's going 401 00:27:22.839 --> 00:27:27.079 to go up on Friday, So definitely go check that out. But I'm 402 00:27:27.119 --> 00:27:32.400 talking about the idea of being ready. But in that video, I do 403 00:27:32.480 --> 00:27:37.039 talk about the stories that you're telling yourself and how you are the only person 404 00:27:37.240 --> 00:27:41.680 that is getting in the way of what it is that you want in your 405 00:27:41.720 --> 00:27:45.319 life. So all of the happiness and the joy and the relationship and the 406 00:27:45.319 --> 00:27:48.519 money and that everything that you're like looking towards and like, oh my god, 407 00:27:48.519 --> 00:27:49.960 it's going to make me feel so happy. You are the one in 408 00:27:51.000 --> 00:27:52.799 the way of that thing. And this is what I mean by that, 409 00:27:53.079 --> 00:27:57.319 You tell yourself a story as to why you can't have that thing right now, 410 00:27:57.759 --> 00:28:02.240 Oh I'm not Ready's say for content creation, because a lot of you 411 00:28:02.279 --> 00:28:03.759 guys want to be content creators, and I talked about this in the videos. 412 00:28:03.759 --> 00:28:08.039 Would definitely go watch, especially if you're content creator. I want to 413 00:28:08.079 --> 00:28:11.000 be a content creator. I want to be a YouTuber. Oh, like 414 00:28:11.039 --> 00:28:17.039 one day you're like this that, why not right now? You are the 415 00:28:17.039 --> 00:28:19.839 only one getting in your way. You know how happy you would be if 416 00:28:19.920 --> 00:28:25.279 you were like Alicia being able to wake up and do whatever the hell she 417 00:28:25.359 --> 00:28:29.519 wants to do and decide whatever day she wants to film a podcast episode, 418 00:28:29.720 --> 00:28:34.279 and to connect with like minded people and heal and inspire and help other people 419 00:28:34.640 --> 00:28:38.599 become the best versions of themselves in any sort of capacity. Whatever it is 420 00:28:38.599 --> 00:28:42.359 that you want or you I'm sure would love to be that content creator that 421 00:28:42.359 --> 00:28:45.200 you watch every single week that's doing their vlogs and their self care and there 422 00:28:45.240 --> 00:28:49.160 whatever it is they're doing. I know you wish that you could be that 423 00:28:49.200 --> 00:28:53.480 person. Well, guess what. The only difference between me and you or 424 00:28:53.519 --> 00:28:59.240 that creator in you is that we started that. We told ourselves that, 425 00:28:59.279 --> 00:29:02.400 you know what, I'm ready right now. Because I say that I'm ready, 426 00:29:02.960 --> 00:29:06.119 I don't know all the answers. I'm not going to be perfect when 427 00:29:06.119 --> 00:29:10.000 I first start, but guess what, considering this is what I want anyways, 428 00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:11.599 I might as well start. That's an energy that you need to have 429 00:29:11.680 --> 00:29:15.519 on yourself. Stop choosing hardship. Stop telling yourself that things are going to 430 00:29:15.599 --> 00:29:21.039 be difficult, especially when it comes to the gym, eating right, going 431 00:29:21.039 --> 00:29:25.119 out on a date, or like whatever it is relationships. Stop telling yourself 432 00:29:25.160 --> 00:29:27.279 the story of how hard it's going to be. This is actually very true 433 00:29:27.319 --> 00:29:30.079 even in relationships, like oh my god, it's going to be so hard 434 00:29:30.079 --> 00:29:33.359 to find a guy who's gonna give me what I want, and like I 435 00:29:33.480 --> 00:29:36.319 want this home or I want this marriage and oh my god, it's just 436 00:29:36.359 --> 00:29:40.240 nothing. Okay, well then it's going to be hard. Yeah. So 437 00:29:41.039 --> 00:29:42.319 that's it for that. The last thing on my list, which is a 438 00:29:42.319 --> 00:29:45.319 little bit different, but I figured it was really important because this is again 439 00:29:45.440 --> 00:29:51.160 something that I think that I really do prioritize, and that is setting yourself 440 00:29:51.279 --> 00:29:55.480 up the night before for your morning routine, like so you can have a 441 00:29:55.480 --> 00:29:57.519 better day in the next day because like, honestly, I don't know. 442 00:29:57.559 --> 00:30:00.799 I think maybe just like a hack in life is to stop putting so much 443 00:30:00.839 --> 00:30:04.279 focus and attention on your morning routine. Although a morning routine is great, 444 00:30:04.480 --> 00:30:07.440 but for me, I don't talk too much about morning routines I have. 445 00:30:07.680 --> 00:30:11.680 Actually I have a video on that because they differ a lot, but I 446 00:30:11.680 --> 00:30:15.920 can definitely talk more about them if you want, and I can also show 447 00:30:15.920 --> 00:30:18.079 you guys different ones that I have because I actually have eighteen hundred million, 448 00:30:18.440 --> 00:30:23.440 thousand morning routines because I'm a cyclical being and I move based off of my 449 00:30:23.559 --> 00:30:29.559 energy and my emotions, and I do what I want. But I think 450 00:30:29.599 --> 00:30:32.599 a very good hack to set you up no matter what it is that you're 451 00:30:32.599 --> 00:30:36.440 trying to do the next day is to start the night before, because realistically, 452 00:30:36.559 --> 00:30:40.359 if you feel like crap, if you have really shitty thoughts, if 453 00:30:40.480 --> 00:30:45.000 you are just like low on energy, it's gonna be really really hard not 454 00:30:45.039 --> 00:30:47.119 to say that you can't do this right, because not every day is gonna 455 00:30:47.119 --> 00:30:48.279 be perfect, but it's gonna be hard for you to get up and do 456 00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:51.799 the things that you need to do the next day. So I really make 457 00:30:51.839 --> 00:30:56.359 sure to set myself up at night to go to sleep in a very peaceful 458 00:30:56.359 --> 00:30:57.559 way. I guess that was a weird sentence. I don't know why I 459 00:30:57.599 --> 00:31:02.359 came out like that, But like me, I have a little routine around 460 00:31:02.400 --> 00:31:06.480 Like nine ish is when I really try to dial things down. So I 461 00:31:06.559 --> 00:31:08.559 mean, like I don't need to be scrolling anymore. Maybe I'm watching a 462 00:31:08.599 --> 00:31:11.759 show or maybe I'm editing something, but like I'm putting things away, I'm 463 00:31:11.799 --> 00:31:15.359 lowering my light so that I'm getting the vibe going. I always do my 464 00:31:15.440 --> 00:31:19.720 dishes. I would say ninety I want to say ninety seven percent of the 465 00:31:19.759 --> 00:31:25.079 time. Last night I actually did leave them, but that was it made 466 00:31:25.119 --> 00:31:29.400 sense to leave them that night. But I'm always making sure that I do 467 00:31:29.440 --> 00:31:32.160 my dishes. That's like my signal to my body that I'm going to go 468 00:31:32.160 --> 00:31:34.200 to sleep. So I do my dishes. I make sure I do my 469 00:31:34.240 --> 00:31:38.720 whole dental hygiene. I make sure my skincare is done. I'm making sure 470 00:31:38.799 --> 00:31:44.039 that my room is very cool. I'm making sure that I'm grabbing my book 471 00:31:44.400 --> 00:31:47.920 now now I'm reading off of a kindle, which I freaking love. Right 472 00:31:47.920 --> 00:31:51.279 now I'm reading, Oh my god, I don't remember when I'm reading. 473 00:31:51.279 --> 00:31:55.319 I'm gonna have to say that another time. But I just make sure that 474 00:31:55.359 --> 00:31:57.599 my environment is very clean because I find when I wake up in the next 475 00:31:57.640 --> 00:32:00.480 day, whatever it is that I'm doing or not doing, I feel way 476 00:32:00.519 --> 00:32:05.319 more inspired and motivated and ready to take on life when my environment is clean. 477 00:32:05.359 --> 00:32:07.119 When I leave my place a mess, even if it's like a little 478 00:32:07.160 --> 00:32:10.960 bit of a mess, it really does mess me up. So for you, 479 00:32:12.039 --> 00:32:14.640 it might not be cleaning because maybe you don't have a lot to clean, 480 00:32:14.759 --> 00:32:17.000 But like, what is one thing that you can start doing to signal 481 00:32:17.039 --> 00:32:22.119 to yourself that not only is it ready for bedtime, But that will help 482 00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:24.119 you be able to not only go to sleep, but wake up in the 483 00:32:24.160 --> 00:32:30.519 morning feeling refreshed. One thing I want to start doing is supplementing with magnesium. 484 00:32:30.720 --> 00:32:34.599 Magnesium is a very good supplement to help relax the body. I do 485 00:32:34.680 --> 00:32:37.359 have a lot of magnesium and a lot of supplements, honestly, but that's 486 00:32:37.400 --> 00:32:39.920 something I definitely want to incorporate into my night routine. But honestly, just 487 00:32:39.960 --> 00:32:43.519 pick one thing and do it. Okay, thank you. I just had 488 00:32:43.559 --> 00:32:47.720 to take a quick break because I was exhausting myself. Sometimes I do that. 489 00:32:47.759 --> 00:32:51.559 By the way, is I take a quick break like in between the 490 00:32:51.599 --> 00:32:59.640 podcast because talking sometimes can literally exhaust me. And I was on TikTok actually, 491 00:32:59.640 --> 00:33:01.000 which is so funny because I just said that I hate it, but 492 00:33:01.279 --> 00:33:05.559 I had posted a video today, so I was just looking at something and 493 00:33:06.160 --> 00:33:09.880 I also wanted to mention that, like with how everyone's super annoying on there, 494 00:33:09.880 --> 00:33:13.599 like I also used to be annoying too. I think for the most 495 00:33:13.599 --> 00:33:16.920 part, all of my videos have been pretty good. It's not like I 496 00:33:17.000 --> 00:33:22.519 regret talking about what I used to talk about. More on TikTok, I 497 00:33:22.519 --> 00:33:27.119 talked a lot about feminine energy and dating and relationships and stuff. But I 498 00:33:27.160 --> 00:33:31.240 do think that what I said was actually correct for the most part. But 499 00:33:31.279 --> 00:33:37.200 I still just I kind of moved away from talking about like feminine energy dating 500 00:33:37.200 --> 00:33:43.880 tips and like this that even though I really actually do still live by those 501 00:33:44.079 --> 00:33:49.720 principles and I love like living in feminine energy and I look at relationships from 502 00:33:49.720 --> 00:33:52.039 that standpoint and feminine masculine energy even when it comes to work and things like 503 00:33:52.079 --> 00:33:58.799 that. But there is kind of like a bad rep with dating coaches and 504 00:33:58.839 --> 00:34:04.519 feminine energy and even talking about soft life sometimes and luxury I wasn't ever talking 505 00:34:04.519 --> 00:34:10.800 about luxury living. But anyways, some of the very fad type of terms 506 00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:15.760 or talking points sometimes just brings in audiences that, well, at least for 507 00:34:15.800 --> 00:34:21.320 me, I just realized, like probably was not necessarily my audience. Fully, 508 00:34:21.400 --> 00:34:22.599 I know a lot of you guys are still with me from TikTok and 509 00:34:22.639 --> 00:34:25.679 stuff, but yeah, I don't know. I just wanted to say that 510 00:34:25.719 --> 00:34:30.280 because like even me, like if you saw some of my videos, like 511 00:34:30.360 --> 00:34:31.840 maybe that doesn't resonate with you, So just don't listen to me, you 512 00:34:31.840 --> 00:34:36.400 know, even for my podcasts and stuff, like I try to now do 513 00:34:36.519 --> 00:34:37.719 my best when I am talking. No matter what, I'm gonna have a 514 00:34:37.760 --> 00:34:43.280 bias, and I look at life through certain lens. Not everyone has the 515 00:34:43.320 --> 00:34:46.079 same thinking, not everyone should, but I try and do my best to 516 00:34:46.159 --> 00:34:52.000 kind of empower others to like think for themselves in a way and like give 517 00:34:52.039 --> 00:34:55.280 themselves confidence to just decide what they want to do, versus being like, 518 00:34:55.400 --> 00:35:00.639 you only need to do it this way. But obviously I will have thinking 519 00:35:00.639 --> 00:35:04.000 of being like, the way you should do things is you deciding, and 520 00:35:04.039 --> 00:35:07.639 that technically is a belief. Anyways, I don't know. I just thought 521 00:35:07.639 --> 00:35:09.960 I would just come on there and say that. Anyways. Also, I 522 00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:13.960 don't know if I mentioned, but the shirt that I'm wearing is from White 523 00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:15.400 Fox. I think I did. I don't know. All right, let's 524 00:35:15.400 --> 00:35:17.800 read some of the things that you guys said. I had asked you, 525 00:35:17.800 --> 00:35:22.440 guys, what do you do on a daily basis or regularly to help you 526 00:35:22.519 --> 00:35:27.039 become a better you? The first response I got was always be kind and 527 00:35:27.199 --> 00:35:30.440 non judgmental. And I think she meant probably to herself and also to others, 528 00:35:30.559 --> 00:35:32.320 or at least that's how I'm going to take it. And I think 529 00:35:32.320 --> 00:35:36.840 that that is such a good thing to live by, honestly, and I 530 00:35:36.880 --> 00:35:40.400 think that we are way more judgmental than we even think, even myself, 531 00:35:40.480 --> 00:35:44.119 right, I do it a lot less now, but sometimes I will notice 532 00:35:44.280 --> 00:35:47.760 myself when I'm noticing something else about something somebody. It doesn't even have to 533 00:35:47.800 --> 00:35:52.480 be impere in space, just like what they're doing or what they're doing with 534 00:35:52.519 --> 00:35:57.039 their time, or like whatever it is. If I go and see something, 535 00:35:57.480 --> 00:36:00.480 I naturally want to kind of fall into that negative, judgmental like side, 536 00:36:00.760 --> 00:36:04.719 And I always catch myself and I'm like, it's literally like, first 537 00:36:04.760 --> 00:36:06.840 of all, you don't need to be like this. You don't need to 538 00:36:06.920 --> 00:36:09.000 judge somebody. And what I usually try and do now when I go out, 539 00:36:09.320 --> 00:36:15.679 if I see somebody wearing something or doing something that I probably wouldn't do, 540 00:36:15.000 --> 00:36:19.719 I try my best to just like not only give them the benefit of 541 00:36:19.880 --> 00:36:22.480 the doubt, but just like allow people to be who they are and realize 542 00:36:22.519 --> 00:36:27.360 that they're still a great human being, even if they're wearing something that I 543 00:36:27.400 --> 00:36:30.800 wouldn't wear, or like you know they're crazy, or like somebody's on the 544 00:36:30.800 --> 00:36:34.159 street freaking out, or you know, somebody just cut me off. Like 545 00:36:34.559 --> 00:36:37.000 I try my best to not even be mad at that, because I'm like, 546 00:36:37.039 --> 00:36:39.039 you know, what, they're going through something, or people just like 547 00:36:39.199 --> 00:36:44.880 to spend their time doing certain things and those things are not something I would 548 00:36:44.920 --> 00:36:47.719 want to do. We don't need to be so judgmental and critical. And 549 00:36:47.800 --> 00:36:52.000 I honestly think the more that I learned to heal myself and love myself and 550 00:36:52.119 --> 00:36:54.800 nurture myself, the easier it was for me to stop judging everyone else. 551 00:36:54.840 --> 00:36:57.960 Like kind of just how it works. Do you become the change and then 552 00:36:58.000 --> 00:37:00.719 you kind of just like reflect that back out and it gets reflected back to 553 00:37:00.719 --> 00:37:04.519 you as well. So I think that's a really good one practice not judging 554 00:37:04.519 --> 00:37:07.400 other people so frequently, And when you do start to see yourself judging, 555 00:37:08.079 --> 00:37:12.880 try and pick something that's positive about that person that you can say and like 556 00:37:13.000 --> 00:37:16.880 bring yourself back to the positive or to the present, or really to something 557 00:37:16.920 --> 00:37:22.480 that's more optimistic. And this is not something to be mad at yourself at 558 00:37:22.559 --> 00:37:27.400 when you do this as well, because you're like, we're naturally we have 559 00:37:27.440 --> 00:37:30.519 so many crappy beliefs sometimes and so much negativity that it's no wonder that you 560 00:37:30.559 --> 00:37:35.199 kind of fall into that side of being judgmental. But you know, this 561 00:37:35.280 --> 00:37:38.000 is where the work is, and this is where it starts, and eventually 562 00:37:38.239 --> 00:37:42.679 you will come to a point where you're not really that judgmental and you're more 563 00:37:42.679 --> 00:37:45.400 positive and it won't be such a hard thing to do. But when you're 564 00:37:45.440 --> 00:37:50.639 trying to reprogram yourself and your focus, it's going to take some active watching 565 00:37:50.679 --> 00:37:53.880 of yourself and redirecting. Someone said, going to the gym slash movement, 566 00:37:53.960 --> 00:37:58.119 slash stretches. Actually, like multiple people said different things. That's why I 567 00:37:58.159 --> 00:38:00.760 just put slash And somebody said, no matter how tired I am. I 568 00:38:00.760 --> 00:38:04.599 think that's a really good one too. I think then, no matter how 569 00:38:04.599 --> 00:38:07.559 tired I am, for me personally, if I'm really really tired and I'm 570 00:38:07.639 --> 00:38:10.480 drained, I do listen to my body. But I still will move my 571 00:38:10.480 --> 00:38:14.119 body some way. I usually go on a hawker walk, or I'll move 572 00:38:14.360 --> 00:38:17.400 like us or obviously move my body. I will do stretching or something. 573 00:38:17.400 --> 00:38:22.280 And I just think that like, when we start looking at wellness as something 574 00:38:22.320 --> 00:38:24.800 that's good for ourselves and it's not a punishment, it becomes so much easier 575 00:38:24.800 --> 00:38:27.960 for us to just do it, even on the days we don't feel like 576 00:38:27.960 --> 00:38:31.639 it, because it's not about us having to feel super energetic to be able 577 00:38:31.639 --> 00:38:36.000 to get this hard work workout in so we can get this outcome. And 578 00:38:36.360 --> 00:38:37.880 if we don't get the outcome, then we're not going to be valuable or 579 00:38:37.920 --> 00:38:43.239 worthy or like happy. When we drop that attachment to the outcome and we 580 00:38:43.320 --> 00:38:45.960 just realize this is something that we should be doing the same way we brush 581 00:38:45.960 --> 00:38:47.079 our teeth, it's going to be so much easier for you to get up. 582 00:38:47.360 --> 00:38:50.280 And this is not to mean that you're going to go into the gym 583 00:38:50.360 --> 00:38:52.760 every day and have this insane workout, but you're gonna at least decide to 584 00:38:52.800 --> 00:38:58.119 do something that's less strenuous, like pilates today, or let me try yoga 585 00:38:58.159 --> 00:39:00.280 class, or you know what, I'm just gonna go on a hawker walk 586 00:39:00.280 --> 00:39:02.920 and go for like an hour walk, like anything. But when you look 587 00:39:02.960 --> 00:39:08.719 at it as being super attached the outcome and punishment when you don't feel like 588 00:39:08.760 --> 00:39:13.159 going, which you probably won't because you're gonna make super You're gonna make this 589 00:39:13.199 --> 00:39:16.440 circumstances is so freaking harder for you in the first place. You're just not 590 00:39:16.440 --> 00:39:19.000 gonna want to do it, and then you don't do it, and like, 591 00:39:19.039 --> 00:39:22.199 that's not what being a wellness girly is all about like we should be 592 00:39:22.239 --> 00:39:27.639 doing these things because they're important for us to do to move our bodies. 593 00:39:27.679 --> 00:39:30.840 Like we just that's not like if you just think about like how we used 594 00:39:30.840 --> 00:39:35.880 to be when we were in the olden days, why do I use that 595 00:39:35.920 --> 00:39:39.639 word, that's not the right word whatever, When we were like cavemen and 596 00:39:39.719 --> 00:39:45.239 stuff. Okay, we moved a lot, and we got outside and we 597 00:39:45.320 --> 00:39:49.000 got in the sun, and we ate animal products. I know a lot 598 00:39:49.000 --> 00:39:51.119 of people are vegans and stuff, so like we're not even gonna get there, 599 00:39:51.159 --> 00:39:53.280 but okay, let me take out the animal products thing. We ate 600 00:39:53.880 --> 00:40:00.559 food from the earth, Okay, not processed crap junk, staring at screens 601 00:40:00.599 --> 00:40:06.639 all day, ruminating in negative thoughts and thinking and second guessing ourselves and stressing 602 00:40:06.639 --> 00:40:09.719 over a guy who didn't text us back, and like doing these weird behaviors, 603 00:40:09.760 --> 00:40:13.039 Like we didn't do that, So like, let's go back to who 604 00:40:13.079 --> 00:40:15.800 we were before all of this crap. And I don't mean obviously we're gonna 605 00:40:15.840 --> 00:40:19.000 go and like live back in caves. But I don't know something that I've 606 00:40:19.039 --> 00:40:22.960 been really thinking about again now that I'm twenty seven and I'm just like I 607 00:40:22.360 --> 00:40:27.199 want that slow living. I want to I've always been a wellness girly, 608 00:40:27.239 --> 00:40:31.639 though I will say that from a very young age. When I first started, 609 00:40:31.679 --> 00:40:36.360 it wasn't for healthy reasons though, but it's been a part of my 610 00:40:36.400 --> 00:40:37.880 life for a long time. And now, like if you just watched my 611 00:40:38.400 --> 00:40:42.719 vlog of It's not too Late to have a Healthy Grow Summer, I was 612 00:40:42.760 --> 00:40:46.480 talking about how one of my goals of mine is to source really really good 613 00:40:46.559 --> 00:40:51.119 quality food now, and so that's what I've been doing. I've been going 614 00:40:51.159 --> 00:40:54.400 to the markets. I've been getting like organic food and very local and trying 615 00:40:54.400 --> 00:40:59.039 not to shop so much at the big box grocery stores anymore. I'm also 616 00:40:59.199 --> 00:41:04.280 my main goal us to source a butcher that has grass fed meat, grass 617 00:41:04.320 --> 00:41:07.079 fed, grass finished, very local meat. So that's something that I wanted 618 00:41:07.119 --> 00:41:10.679 to do when I'm doing and I just can't wait to continue to do that 619 00:41:10.840 --> 00:41:16.159 even living in Toronto. But I I also just like think about my suburban 620 00:41:16.239 --> 00:41:21.679 home and like my neighborhood and like going to the market every week or wherever 621 00:41:21.760 --> 00:41:25.159 and just buying local food and fresh food, maybe making my own like growing 622 00:41:25.159 --> 00:41:29.960 my own I don't know, that's a little too much though, like that's 623 00:41:29.960 --> 00:41:31.039 a little much. I don't know. I don't know if I'll be doing 624 00:41:31.039 --> 00:41:34.320 all that, but you know, like I just I cannot wait for that. 625 00:41:34.639 --> 00:41:38.360 Someone said being present, practicing being present every day is great. I 626 00:41:38.400 --> 00:41:44.800 think something that really helps is to some point in your day, put down 627 00:41:44.840 --> 00:41:49.679 your freaking phone. And this is how you can start, because if you 628 00:41:49.760 --> 00:41:52.960 have a phone addiction, I swear to God, it's hard, and like 629 00:41:52.719 --> 00:41:55.559 this is my job, so it's very hard for me too. Although I 630 00:41:55.599 --> 00:42:00.199 still think I have a very healthy relationship with social media. Even though I'm 631 00:42:00.239 --> 00:42:02.599 on social media all the time, I really do like I don't scroll on 632 00:42:02.679 --> 00:42:07.360 Instagram. I look at some people's stories, but like not that much, 633 00:42:07.639 --> 00:42:12.440 and I just I really don't scroll. And the only time I spend on 634 00:42:12.440 --> 00:42:15.280 social media is really on YouTube, and I only watch YouTube videos that are 635 00:42:15.280 --> 00:42:19.400 inspiring me and motivating me. Like I don't it's I actually don't have an 636 00:42:19.440 --> 00:42:24.559 intention span to sit and watch things that waste my time, which I guess 637 00:42:24.639 --> 00:42:28.440 is a good thing. But it's kind of interesting because like people usually do 638 00:42:28.440 --> 00:42:31.000 the opposite. They can't like sit through like an educational thing or sit through 639 00:42:31.039 --> 00:42:34.840 something that's like important to them. But for me, like I cannot, 640 00:42:34.880 --> 00:42:37.519 it's really hard for me to waste my time time, so I have a 641 00:42:37.519 --> 00:42:42.320 pretty healthy relationship. But anyways, one thing that you can try and do 642 00:42:42.519 --> 00:42:45.239 is if you really can't like put away your phone for an hour or like 643 00:42:45.320 --> 00:42:47.559 thirty minutes or whatever, it's just like way too much, try to do 644 00:42:47.679 --> 00:42:52.320 something like try to put away your phone and put on a timer and you 645 00:42:52.320 --> 00:42:54.599 can go on YouTube and literally type in like a one hour study with me 646 00:42:54.679 --> 00:43:00.280 or a thirty minute work session, play the music, and then I would 647 00:43:00.280 --> 00:43:04.719 do something that has nothing to do with your phone or something that's usually stimulating 648 00:43:04.719 --> 00:43:07.000 you and probably stressing you out. Like for me, I do that a 649 00:43:07.000 --> 00:43:09.119 lot when I'm trying to write my book, or I'm trying to work on 650 00:43:09.159 --> 00:43:13.559 a course, or I'm trying to do something that doesn't involve like something that 651 00:43:13.639 --> 00:43:16.880 my mind is usually on, or going for a walk and leaving your phone 652 00:43:16.880 --> 00:43:20.840 at home. Actually maybe bring your phone with you. Most likely bring your 653 00:43:20.840 --> 00:43:22.239 phone with you, but like I don't know, put it on airplane mode 654 00:43:22.280 --> 00:43:27.280 it or something just like detaching and being more present. I know, sometimes 655 00:43:27.280 --> 00:43:30.719 like it's not really you being present when you're working on something, but I 656 00:43:30.719 --> 00:43:32.840 don't know. I think that can just be like a bridge habit for you 657 00:43:32.880 --> 00:43:37.039 to start another thing that Kelly actually said a friend of mine. She said 658 00:43:37.039 --> 00:43:43.239 that she journals and she pulls Tarot cards and she uses them as prompts. 659 00:43:43.400 --> 00:43:45.039 That's a very good idea. I don't actually actually, yes I do. 660 00:43:45.599 --> 00:43:50.519 I have. Well they're like goddess cards. But if you have Tarot cards 661 00:43:50.559 --> 00:43:52.760 or something, that would be a cool idea just to use them as prompts, 662 00:43:52.840 --> 00:43:55.800 like look at the card, if you know what that means, the 663 00:43:55.840 --> 00:44:00.800 Tarot card, or even if you don't, journal on that, and see 664 00:44:00.840 --> 00:44:05.360 what comes out of that, See what creative energy can come out of that, 665 00:44:05.440 --> 00:44:09.679 and wisdom and the insights. Like when I'm journaling, I like when 666 00:44:09.679 --> 00:44:13.800 I'm thinking about something in particular and I just can't stop thinking about it, 667 00:44:13.800 --> 00:44:16.039 I will literally, either in my notes app or on my journal, I 668 00:44:16.079 --> 00:44:21.519 will just start writing on that specific thing and I'll be like, holy crap, 669 00:44:21.559 --> 00:44:24.280 I just came to a midlife crisis in a good way. And sometimes 670 00:44:24.320 --> 00:44:29.239 I just think about a certain situation that I'm going through, good, bad, 671 00:44:29.320 --> 00:44:31.039 ugly, whatever it is, and I just ask myself, what is 672 00:44:31.079 --> 00:44:35.519 the lesson right now that the universe has wanted me to learn from this, 673 00:44:36.079 --> 00:44:39.599 simply because there's always a lesson. Someone also said journaling whether or not I'm 674 00:44:39.639 --> 00:44:42.920 having a good or bad day, which I kind of already mentioned as well. 675 00:44:43.079 --> 00:44:45.199 I think it's so important to just up keep your mental diet, your 676 00:44:45.679 --> 00:44:52.719 mental health, and especially when you are somebody who is more susceptible to you 677 00:44:52.760 --> 00:44:57.880 know, having bad days or just getting triggered easily, or you're anxiously attached 678 00:44:57.920 --> 00:45:00.519 like Girlill, you got to do that work. You know. A lot 679 00:45:00.559 --> 00:45:04.400 of you guys said that you listen to my podcast, and I think that 680 00:45:04.559 --> 00:45:07.039 is so sweet and I love you guys, and like, I'm just so 681 00:45:07.079 --> 00:45:15.599 happy that so many of you listen to my voice weekly to get your mind 682 00:45:15.679 --> 00:45:17.440 right, Like I love it. I love you guys. You guys are 683 00:45:17.480 --> 00:45:23.000 amazing. Someone else said, to take really good care of my oral slash 684 00:45:23.079 --> 00:45:29.599 dental hygiene. Yes, okay, I talked about this in I think I 685 00:45:29.639 --> 00:45:31.679 talked about it in my Rich Girl era like how to I don't even know 686 00:45:31.760 --> 00:45:37.480 what the title was, and probably another episode. But I had a very 687 00:45:38.039 --> 00:45:44.320 lengthy journey with my dental health. I had a lot of cavities when I 688 00:45:44.360 --> 00:45:45.679 was younger, I didn't take care of my teeth the best way. We 689 00:45:45.719 --> 00:45:50.000 had no insurance, no anything, and I had to do a lot of 690 00:45:50.000 --> 00:45:52.599 work on my teeth, and especially when I got into the world of wellness, 691 00:45:53.079 --> 00:45:58.079 like, oh my gosh, when I learned so much about oral hygiene. 692 00:45:58.079 --> 00:46:00.480 I used to be a girl who was like scraping her tongue before anyone 693 00:46:00.559 --> 00:46:07.559 knew what scraping their tongues even met or what that was. I did oil 694 00:46:07.599 --> 00:46:10.559 pulling in like twenty sixteen. I was really on that game, and so 695 00:46:10.599 --> 00:46:15.039 I hyperfixated a lot, which again definitely wasn't the healthiest. But I also 696 00:46:15.320 --> 00:46:21.079 just committed to having well First of all, I committed to making money and 697 00:46:21.119 --> 00:46:23.840 saving my money and getting all of my cavities filled. Anything that I needed 698 00:46:23.880 --> 00:46:27.719 done for my teeth, like cleaning everything. I did not care. I 699 00:46:27.719 --> 00:46:29.760 didn't care if I was going to be broke. I was getting my teeth 700 00:46:29.760 --> 00:46:31.480 fixed because I was like, absolutely not. I want beautiful teeth, I 701 00:46:31.480 --> 00:46:35.400 want healthy teeth. I need to And what I did, by the way, 702 00:46:35.599 --> 00:46:37.559 as I was going through that, I was grateful for the teeth that 703 00:46:37.599 --> 00:46:39.440 I did have, and how amazing my smile still looked. Even though I 704 00:46:39.480 --> 00:46:43.559 wanted to close my gap. Even though I wanted to do all this work 705 00:46:43.559 --> 00:46:45.760 on my teeth, I had so much. I still remained positive through it 706 00:46:45.800 --> 00:46:50.559 all, by the way, but I got really focused on taking care of 707 00:46:50.599 --> 00:46:52.159 my dental hygiene. And then, of course all the money that I had 708 00:46:52.199 --> 00:46:55.440 to spend, like getting my teeth done, mainly because I just did not 709 00:46:55.599 --> 00:47:00.719 have benefits. Obviously, I take very good care of my teeth now, 710 00:47:00.880 --> 00:47:05.199 but yeah, it's really important that you take care of your teeth, so 711 00:47:05.519 --> 00:47:08.079 making sure that you're flossing, making sure that you're brushing your teeth two times 712 00:47:08.079 --> 00:47:13.679 a day. Sometimes I'll do it multiple times a day if like I for 713 00:47:13.719 --> 00:47:19.760 some reason midday, I had some chocolate or like candy, Instantly I'm brushing 714 00:47:19.800 --> 00:47:22.000 my teeth like I can't, Like I am not letting freaking candies sit on 715 00:47:22.079 --> 00:47:27.000 my teeth. Sometimes I'll do it after coffee. But if I also brush 716 00:47:27.000 --> 00:47:29.159 my teeth and then I had coffee, sometimes I'll just use a mouthwash. 717 00:47:29.480 --> 00:47:32.119 I go for routine cleans on my teeth. And I don't want to hear 718 00:47:32.159 --> 00:47:37.519 about y'all not having money, because y'all have enough money to go to Starbucks 719 00:47:37.519 --> 00:47:40.360 and post on freaking social media damn near every week. Okay, well you 720 00:47:40.400 --> 00:47:44.719 add that up and you save up that money and you can use that to 721 00:47:44.719 --> 00:47:46.480 go get your teeth cleaned, even if you don't have benefits. Okay, 722 00:47:46.639 --> 00:47:50.360 I know this is harsh love right now, I get it, But I 723 00:47:50.440 --> 00:47:54.599 was there, so I'm kind of being harsh because I also like I was 724 00:47:54.639 --> 00:47:57.920 able to do it, and not to say that you can do it, 725 00:47:58.039 --> 00:48:00.800 because obviously our situations are different. But I'll tell you this, girl, 726 00:48:00.840 --> 00:48:04.639 I did not have money back then. I was in debt, I had 727 00:48:05.039 --> 00:48:07.840 the worst spending habits. I was not making a lot of money at all. 728 00:48:08.159 --> 00:48:14.519 I literally came from no money at all. Okay, so if I 729 00:48:14.559 --> 00:48:17.039 could do it, most likely you probably could do it. And this is 730 00:48:17.079 --> 00:48:22.199 something that like you're gonna have to just remind yourself that down the line, 731 00:48:22.239 --> 00:48:24.960 if you do not start taking care of your teeth, saving up the money 732 00:48:24.960 --> 00:48:28.960 that you need to save up to get your teeth whatever it is that you 733 00:48:29.000 --> 00:48:34.400 need to get done, girl, you're gonna lose those teeth. And y'all 734 00:48:34.400 --> 00:48:37.480 want to be like, it's fine, I'll just get veneers later in life. 735 00:48:37.920 --> 00:48:42.000 No, if you don't need them, don't get them. Okay, 736 00:48:42.480 --> 00:48:45.480 do the best you can, and I'm not trying to also, like listen, 737 00:48:45.519 --> 00:48:49.159 I'm really not trying to judge anyone on like where you're at with your 738 00:48:49.159 --> 00:48:52.639 teeth journey. Not us talking about teeth and like whatever it is that you 739 00:48:52.679 --> 00:48:54.960 want to get done, but just save your money and do it then, 740 00:48:55.000 --> 00:48:58.679 Like there's still things that I want to do. I'm still considering getting a 741 00:48:58.760 --> 00:49:05.119 visi ligne and something done with my gums, but the mainly whatever, that's 742 00:49:05.159 --> 00:49:07.800 irrelevant. The main thing that I wanted to focus on was taking care of 743 00:49:07.840 --> 00:49:12.320 my health of my teeth and that doesn't that doesn't matter about how they look, 744 00:49:12.519 --> 00:49:15.800 like the invisiligne and getting things done and reconstructed and cool things done to 745 00:49:15.800 --> 00:49:20.480 your teeth. Great, that's pretty and perfect and amazing. But I just 746 00:49:20.559 --> 00:49:23.320 cared about my health of my teeth. And you can kind of have wonky 747 00:49:23.360 --> 00:49:28.599 teeth and still have very healthy teeth. And that's I focus on that more 748 00:49:28.639 --> 00:49:31.679 than anything else, you know, I will I will talk about the aesthetics 749 00:49:31.719 --> 00:49:37.159 afterwards, But am I healthy? Am I freaking healthy? Ask yourself? 750 00:49:37.159 --> 00:49:39.079 Are you healthy? Do you take care of your damn teeth? Go to 751 00:49:39.119 --> 00:49:43.840 the dentist if you need to. Okay, somebody said, pray for thirty 752 00:49:43.840 --> 00:49:46.639 minutes. That's amazing, and I love that. And I think that's kind 753 00:49:46.639 --> 00:49:51.239 of like the same as like a journal practice or connecting to whatever it is 754 00:49:51.280 --> 00:49:55.119 that you have. I think that connecting to something, if not just yourself, 755 00:49:55.320 --> 00:49:59.440 will really ground you on the days that you know, things feel a 756 00:49:59.440 --> 00:50:05.320 little bit. Someone said, skincare routine daily. Yes, honey, honey, 757 00:50:05.360 --> 00:50:07.360 honey, honey. Okay, this woman gonna say you don't need to 758 00:50:07.360 --> 00:50:12.119 have a million steps to your skincare routine, like you definitely do not. 759 00:50:12.559 --> 00:50:15.800 But I just think that having the habit of taking care of your skin in 760 00:50:15.920 --> 00:50:20.679 some capacity daily, whether that's just in the morning or the nighttime, I 761 00:50:20.719 --> 00:50:25.239 think it's just it's like you're sending out signals to the universe that you are 762 00:50:25.320 --> 00:50:30.320 worthy of being taken care of. You're showing up for yourself. So that's 763 00:50:30.320 --> 00:50:32.519 how other people are going to show up for you. If you don't even 764 00:50:32.519 --> 00:50:36.400 expect yourself to show up for you, or you don't show up for yourself, 765 00:50:37.199 --> 00:50:38.119 how is it that other people are going to do that for you? 766 00:50:38.480 --> 00:50:43.079 How are you going to even recognize or even value that from other people? 767 00:50:43.639 --> 00:50:50.599 You're not so do something for your skin, something anything. I have been 768 00:50:50.719 --> 00:50:54.400 loving. Oh my gosh, I for some reason, brands are just loving 769 00:50:54.440 --> 00:50:58.880 to send me skincare, which I'm here for, and I have really like 770 00:50:59.000 --> 00:51:04.360 I'm like skincare over makeup. For sure. I don't really wear a lot 771 00:51:04.360 --> 00:51:06.960 of makeup, Like I'll put some blush on and some mascara, but for 772 00:51:07.000 --> 00:51:10.280 the most part I catch me not wearing anything. But I do like glowing 773 00:51:10.440 --> 00:51:17.199 skin. Recently, I've been loving the Charlotte Tilbury I cream and the toner 774 00:51:17.400 --> 00:51:21.079 and the serum which is linked on I like to know it. They did 775 00:51:21.159 --> 00:51:23.159 send it to me. This is not sponsored. I tried it for I'm 776 00:51:23.159 --> 00:51:25.960 on my fourth week now. I used it all throughout Calgary, where my 777 00:51:27.000 --> 00:51:29.719 skin was dry as hell as soon as I got there, which I already 778 00:51:29.800 --> 00:51:36.320 knew was going to be, and my skin it just looks so glowing from 779 00:51:36.360 --> 00:51:42.039 those products. Fresh Beauty also sent me a whole new line of their I 780 00:51:42.079 --> 00:51:45.199 don't know what it is. It's the pink, the rose type of one. 781 00:51:45.239 --> 00:51:47.039 I don't know. I went to an event and I forget what it 782 00:51:47.119 --> 00:51:50.320 is. But I have not even I haven't even touched any of it yet 783 00:51:50.360 --> 00:51:52.519 because I still have the Charlotte Tilbury, so I'm just taking my time, 784 00:51:53.679 --> 00:51:57.360 so I'll definitely let you guys know how I like everything. But the soy 785 00:51:57.440 --> 00:52:01.599 cleanser from that line I've been using forever and that's really good. I think 786 00:52:01.599 --> 00:52:05.519 that it's very light and it doesn't strip the oils from your face the way 787 00:52:05.599 --> 00:52:08.400 some do. And I also love the SRV biotic cream, which I think 788 00:52:08.519 --> 00:52:14.400 is hands down insane. I absolutely love it. Someone said talk to myself 789 00:52:14.480 --> 00:52:16.760 as I talk to someone that I love. I kind of that sounded really 790 00:52:16.800 --> 00:52:22.199 weird coming out, but essentially she talks to herself as if she's damn lovable. 791 00:52:22.519 --> 00:52:25.599 Okay, think about this for a second, and I'm just gonna assume 792 00:52:25.599 --> 00:52:29.199 we're all gonna we're all basically like this. Okay. I know not every 793 00:52:29.239 --> 00:52:30.719 single one of us is like this, but majority of us are like this. 794 00:52:31.880 --> 00:52:38.239 You unconditionally love other people so much to a default. It's kind of 795 00:52:38.280 --> 00:52:43.920 like sometimes I'm just like fuck, Like, there's a line, okay, 796 00:52:43.920 --> 00:52:45.840 and I'm saying this to myself, but to you guys as well. There's 797 00:52:45.880 --> 00:52:52.719 definitely a line. But we really unconditionally love people. We accept people. 798 00:52:52.280 --> 00:52:55.599 We just let them be who they are, but we don't do that for 799 00:52:55.679 --> 00:53:02.199 ourselves. Why. This is insane. This is insane behavior, and we 800 00:53:02.280 --> 00:53:07.639 need to stop. And on top of that, you need to start looking 801 00:53:07.679 --> 00:53:13.639 at yourself like you are deserving of other people unconditionaling loving you, as well 802 00:53:14.519 --> 00:53:19.320 of other people choosing you the same way you will constantly choose somebody else. 803 00:53:20.159 --> 00:53:24.119 You need to start looking at yourself like somebody would also choose you. I 804 00:53:24.159 --> 00:53:28.440 was thinking about this the other day, and I think a lot of us 805 00:53:29.559 --> 00:53:35.280 have this issue. Sometimes it's not about okay, let's look at this in 806 00:53:35.320 --> 00:53:37.400 relationships. I'm just going to use relationships as an example. Some of us 807 00:53:37.440 --> 00:53:43.960 girls who are independent, who do the healing work, who show up, 808 00:53:44.000 --> 00:53:49.480 who are into self improvement, which is most of us, we know that 809 00:53:49.519 --> 00:53:54.440 we're kind of most likely better than any other girl that the guy is probably 810 00:53:54.480 --> 00:53:58.079 going to date. And I know that sounds bad and we're not about to 811 00:53:58.280 --> 00:54:00.639 compete with other women and stuff like that, but this is okay. I'll 812 00:54:00.639 --> 00:54:04.119 just I don't know, I'm just gonna give you like kind of my experience 813 00:54:04.119 --> 00:54:07.519 that's kind of usually like I usually know that I'm probably like the best that 814 00:54:07.519 --> 00:54:10.760 that guy's ever gonna get. Now to be fair, I will say this, 815 00:54:12.119 --> 00:54:14.920 I am not for every guy. So there's definitely guys that I dated 816 00:54:15.039 --> 00:54:17.480 in the past where I actually think that another girl is better for him because 817 00:54:17.480 --> 00:54:21.800 like we weren't compatible. So I'm really not like trying to put myself on 818 00:54:21.800 --> 00:54:25.119 a high horse here. But in general, we kind of know that we're 819 00:54:27.280 --> 00:54:30.480 we're really good, like we're really good girlfriends, Like we're we're healed for 820 00:54:30.519 --> 00:54:34.119 the most part, like we do the work, We're committed, we uncondishally 821 00:54:34.199 --> 00:54:37.800 loved dadda. But I think the issue sometimes that we have is looking at 822 00:54:37.840 --> 00:54:43.960 ourselves like we would be picked by someone else consistently. It's like, yes, 823 00:54:45.119 --> 00:54:47.920 in the man's eyes, we can see that they look at us like 824 00:54:49.079 --> 00:54:52.960 we are technically the one, but we don't end up like holding onto that 825 00:54:53.079 --> 00:54:57.840 relationship. And I really do believe it's because some of the times we believe 826 00:54:58.000 --> 00:55:01.880 that we are not worthy of being chosen over and over and over again and 827 00:55:02.000 --> 00:55:06.960 unconditionally loved over and over again, and like a man will stay with us, 828 00:55:07.079 --> 00:55:12.519 Like we have this issue with keeping things. It's like, yes, 829 00:55:12.599 --> 00:55:15.239 I know I'm going to be chosen, but are you going to stay? 830 00:55:15.840 --> 00:55:17.599 And I think that when we have this type of thinking. It's because we 831 00:55:17.639 --> 00:55:23.119 don't look at ourselves like we are worthy of being consistently shown up for. 832 00:55:23.840 --> 00:55:30.920 And why wouldn't somebody want to consistently be with you and marry you and stay 833 00:55:30.960 --> 00:55:34.440 with you. And honestly, this is something that I've reframed in my mind, 834 00:55:34.559 --> 00:55:37.039 Okay, And I don't know, maybe this will help, maybe this 835 00:55:37.119 --> 00:55:43.840 will absolutely not land. But knowing what you know about yourself, and you 836 00:55:43.920 --> 00:55:46.360 can really recognize that you're like probably the best that someone's ever had or in 837 00:55:46.440 --> 00:55:50.159 general, like you're up there, You're a great girl, a great girlfriend, 838 00:55:50.199 --> 00:55:52.440 you'd be an amazing wife, amazing mom like this, that and the 839 00:55:52.519 --> 00:55:55.519 third whatever. Think about it like this, The reason why somebody is going 840 00:55:55.599 --> 00:56:00.239 to continue to come back to you and stay with you and not want to 841 00:56:00.320 --> 00:56:05.199 leave you is because you are like their home. Okay, I want you 842 00:56:05.280 --> 00:56:07.880 to look at yourself like you are somebody's home, because the truth is, 843 00:56:08.559 --> 00:56:15.559 you are loving, you are accepting, you are nurturing, You take care 844 00:56:15.679 --> 00:56:20.440 of your space and your spouse's place, and you're whatever. Right like, 845 00:56:20.599 --> 00:56:27.039 realistically, you are home. Okay, you are home. And when a 846 00:56:27.199 --> 00:56:32.280 man feels and experiences home, if he's obviously a good man, right and 847 00:56:32.719 --> 00:56:38.440 like a decent man even when he leaves, and I mean leaves because he 848 00:56:38.519 --> 00:56:40.440 literally has to go to work, or he has to go live his life, 849 00:56:40.519 --> 00:56:44.400 or he's like not codependent on you, Like we're talking about healthy relationships 850 00:56:44.519 --> 00:56:47.480 right now. When he leaves, trust that he's going to come back, 851 00:56:47.559 --> 00:56:52.719 because you always want to come back to a home that is beautiful, that 852 00:56:53.079 --> 00:56:57.239 is nurturing and warm. Think about your place. This is what I do. 853 00:56:57.320 --> 00:57:00.559 I think about my own home. I never and mad when people cancel 854 00:57:00.639 --> 00:57:06.079 plans because I am so good chilling in my living room and like vibing in 855 00:57:06.159 --> 00:57:08.599 my place, or like staying home and reading a book, and just like 856 00:57:08.960 --> 00:57:12.920 I don't know, watching Netflix, if I watch Netflix, or going on 857 00:57:13.000 --> 00:57:15.280 YouTube whatever. I love my home. I love making food at home. 858 00:57:15.519 --> 00:57:19.880 I love doing my skincare at home. I want to work from home everything. 859 00:57:20.000 --> 00:57:22.199 I love everything about home. Of course, we want to have a 860 00:57:22.239 --> 00:57:25.039 healthy attachment to our homes, so we should be okay with leaving our homes 861 00:57:25.119 --> 00:57:29.119 the same way a man should be okay with leaving the home. But I 862 00:57:29.280 --> 00:57:34.239 always know, and I always, always, always, always crave to come 863 00:57:34.280 --> 00:57:37.800 back home. There's never a time in my life where I'm like, I 864 00:57:37.079 --> 00:57:39.639 never want to go home now. Of course, maybe when you're a teenager 865 00:57:39.679 --> 00:57:43.519 and you're having fun out, you know, you're having fun and you're out 866 00:57:43.599 --> 00:57:45.400 and whatever, and you don't really want to go home, but eventually you 867 00:57:45.519 --> 00:57:47.880 want to come home. Now, of course, you want to be with 868 00:57:47.960 --> 00:57:52.400 a man in a relationship where there's a healthy level of him going and him 869 00:57:52.440 --> 00:57:55.760 coming back. But you want to look at yourself like you are a home, 870 00:57:57.159 --> 00:58:00.239 okay, And so if you're the home, then who gives an f 871 00:58:00.360 --> 00:58:04.119 about anything else? Because this man is going to come right back to you 872 00:58:04.639 --> 00:58:07.440 because you are home and this man needs a damn home. And this is 873 00:58:07.480 --> 00:58:12.480 not to create a picture like to try and make you think that you need 874 00:58:12.559 --> 00:58:15.719 to be somebody's home and like you have to be somebody for somebody. It's 875 00:58:15.760 --> 00:58:17.440 not about that. I don't know. It's just a reframe that I think 876 00:58:17.480 --> 00:58:22.840 about and that helps me sometimes because I have been an anxious attachment type of 877 00:58:22.920 --> 00:58:24.719 person and in relationships, and I've had to heal from that and I've had 878 00:58:24.760 --> 00:58:29.599 to learn how to have secure attachment styles. And when you have a secure 879 00:58:29.599 --> 00:58:35.280 attachment, somebody's not going to always be constantly validating you and constantly keeping your 880 00:58:35.320 --> 00:58:39.079 anxiety at bay, by the way, and it's just not healthy, like 881 00:58:39.159 --> 00:58:43.800 it just that's not what happened. So how do I self soothe myself? 882 00:58:43.960 --> 00:58:47.519 Well, there's many different stages of healing that, and some people might be 883 00:58:47.559 --> 00:58:50.519 like, well, I shouldn't have to tell myself that. We'll guess what 884 00:58:50.639 --> 00:58:52.480 you might have to tell yourself that at some point. And what has helped 885 00:58:52.599 --> 00:58:57.599 me is to tell myself and remind myself of not only my worth and my 886 00:58:57.760 --> 00:59:01.159 value and like, of course I'm fucking amazing, but like I am this 887 00:59:01.320 --> 00:59:06.760 man's home okay, this man is not going anywhere. And on top of 888 00:59:06.840 --> 00:59:09.280 that, I enjoy my home so much. I enjoy myself so much. 889 00:59:09.599 --> 00:59:14.119 I've made it so amazing that who wouldn't want to be here? And on 890 00:59:14.199 --> 00:59:17.039 top of that, I enjoy this time even when he's not here, okay. 891 00:59:17.480 --> 00:59:20.760 And that's an energy that I want you to have for yourself, whether 892 00:59:20.800 --> 00:59:23.679 you're literally in a relationship or not. You are home okay. The last 893 00:59:23.719 --> 00:59:27.840 thing that someone said is let myself rest, even when there's something that I 894 00:59:27.880 --> 00:59:34.440 could be working on that is chef's kiss. There's always going to be something 895 00:59:34.559 --> 00:59:37.480 that you have to work on, especially if you're a girly who loves self 896 00:59:37.519 --> 00:59:43.679 improvement and wants to work on a business and goals and this, that and 897 00:59:43.719 --> 00:59:45.280 the third. There's always gonna be something to work on. But at some 898 00:59:45.400 --> 00:59:50.800 point you do need to allow yourself to rest and relax. And even if 899 00:59:50.840 --> 00:59:55.119 it's not necessarily relaxing and doing nothing, you want to switch your focus onto 900 00:59:55.199 --> 01:00:00.719 doing something that is bringing you into the present moment, like nurturing your relationships, 901 01:00:00.760 --> 01:00:05.199 your friendships, your hobbies, something that has nothing to do with your 902 01:00:05.239 --> 01:00:07.679 work. And I know it can be hard, but it's so true. 903 01:00:07.719 --> 01:00:09.599 And then on top of that, you have to cultivate the voice inside of 904 01:00:09.679 --> 01:00:13.559 you that's going to tell you and the times where you feel like you should 905 01:00:13.559 --> 01:00:16.000 be doing more that it's okay that you're not. But no one's going to 906 01:00:16.039 --> 01:00:19.639 do that for you. You have to do that. You have to become 907 01:00:19.679 --> 01:00:21.960 your own best friend, you have to be your own lover, you have 908 01:00:22.079 --> 01:00:23.960 to be your own home, you have to be your own everything. And 909 01:00:24.480 --> 01:00:30.639 the more times you do this in practice, watch what ends up happening in 910 01:00:30.719 --> 01:00:35.639 your life without you having to try and chase and fix and mold and change 911 01:00:35.760 --> 01:00:38.239 things in your environment. Yes, of course, it's going to require us 912 01:00:38.280 --> 01:00:42.000 to take action to get the things that we want in our lives. But 913 01:00:42.400 --> 01:00:46.599 we take way more unnecessary action than we even need as females, as feminine 914 01:00:46.639 --> 01:00:52.400 beings, and it's kind of flawed. So anyways, that's going to be 915 01:00:52.480 --> 01:00:54.880 it for the episode. I hope you enjoyed. There was a lot of 916 01:00:55.159 --> 01:00:59.800 rants and things that I went on. But yeah, thank you so much 917 01:01:00.039 --> 01:01:04.840 for listening and watching. Also, don't forget on Spotify to let me know 918 01:01:05.039 --> 01:01:08.199 what you liked about this episode. I really liked the feedback. If you 919 01:01:08.280 --> 01:01:12.719 want more episodes. I was also thinking, like I've kind of mentioned before, 920 01:01:13.480 --> 01:01:16.840 maybe to do an extra episode in fall wintertime, just doing more chit 921 01:01:16.920 --> 01:01:22.119 chatty updates. I don't know, we'll see, who knows. Anyways, 922 01:01:22.280 --> 01:01:23.360 Love you guys, talk to you the next one. Bye,