Made a decision out face sunny, sad on I had a vision. So
wait, looks up everybody. Welcome to for crying out loud on a Monday
morning. Who Stephanie and I just got back from trips. We are such
We're like world travelers. We've got chock full of stories. State travelers.
We're state travelers. Yeah. I went as far as uh three states over.
I went three states, maybe two. I went into Washington. Yeah,
I went to Seattle. I went to Texas. I know, I
can't wait to hear we should say hello to our fa high, our favorite
fabulous Sarah's the fun oh, Leslie? Oh, which one are we talking
about? The coughing lest we start coughing Leslie? And then there's yeah,
traffic and costing people less. Yes, we were just talking. Get into
that. Yeah, we'll get into you, Leslie. Alicia Asclante Kelly Brandt,
she will take you if you're in Texas, she'll take you out.
Yeah, it's right, take on a road trip, e Sean Voshbury.
Wait, Gabby and Missy up to no good as always. Katerina might have
a sore mouth. Yeah soon she doesn't stay on top of that, right,
See I changed it up. Valerie, Bubba Fenwick, Polly, we
love your pancakes. Athena, we love your makeup, and you're dancing all
your moves that red lipstick. Yeah, Elizabeth Williamson, we love all your
Kaylor was wearing her red lipstick at the game over the weekend. Yeah,
Athena's yeah, hero. Everybody loves you, Rita, everybody loves to rock
in your bossnet. Jacob, you're so growley, Ashley, you're so chic.
Nikki call your girls? What are you doing? Brandy may Aimes you
got a lot of names. Rachel, we love you. You're a newcomer,
but you're so cool. Aaron, who it is? Jennifer, get
up, Sandra, it's not easy being green. Chris to get this strap?
And Stephanie's a stinker rinker? Sure is? Kaylen, can you turn
me up a little bit? Sorry? I just went through this, so
that was me. That's Stephanie. That's that's better. There you go.
That's good, thank you? Right, alright, alright, alright, alright,
yeah, what's up with this Taylor Swift and her foot like at the
at the game. Now it's all I hear about, all right, Kaylyn,
go for it. Well, it's really annoying because in fantasy football,
which I do with Sonny, which I was on his podcast last week that
was very fun. I picked Travis Kelsey as like my first guy, my
main guy, so you know he's might was my first pick. And now
he's distracted by Taylor and my team's in last place, and I hate it
and it's annoying. Oh really yeah, Oh I thought. I don't know.
I thought it was bringing a lot of attention to the game, were
making them in. No, it doesn't work like that. Now he's not
performing. Is he like, as he's running up the field, is he
like Taylor over look at me. Taylor has to be like, I see
you keep running, like how moms are with their kids. Kids are like
yeah, waving and they're performing. Now let me now I see you thumbs
up. Taylor has to give him a thumbs up with her high falutin Hollywood
friends next door Ryan old Ryan Reynolds, still a babe, by the way,
still cute, Still cute because I was watching like GMA this morning and
I see, like, h Taylor. They show like her in the sky
box with all her friends and blah blah blah and I'm like, and they
show her jumping up and down and they're like cheering. She's like cheering them
on and uh and she's standing next like she's like what this these like like
a blonde girl next door? And I think to myself, Wow, look
at her and her friends, Like, look, how lucky her who cares
about her? Look how lucky her friends are. Turns out that's not her
friends. Those are celebrities. Oh like Lively, yes to her, Yeah,
it's not her friend from back home in high school. It's not her
Dawn with the brain and Kirstin. Yeah. So but anyway, yeah,
that and her lipstick was out of control. But yeah, So over the
weekend, Sonny was talking to me about them, about how that this the
merchandise has gone up four percent or something. She's been like, she's good
for She's good for business. That chick she is. Yah, God bless
her. So, okay, all right, you go to Texas. I
go to Texas. You have your thing on Thursday, then you the next
day. Yeah. Yeah, so we go to we leave and it's extremely
hot, you know when we get there, which is but so you were
alone though I was alone a lot of the time because no, but I
mean you flew in alone, right, because wasn't she already there? Was
there? She flew in the night before. So then I get there and
and but I meet up with them, and immediately it's like we're going We're
going to some game, some party, whatever, because she's her friend.
Her roommate is in a sorority. She's already joined the sorority, and so
she's so because Natalia's friend, it was a year older than her. Okay,
and she's already at that school. Okay, she was. Okay,
So the mom of the other girl was there, not the girl that's already
there, but another another girl, a third girl, Yeah, a third
girl. And is the mom of that girl a friend of yours? I
mean, so you didn't you weren't. It wasn't going to be like the
mom's doing their all the girls well, because they she's got an older sibling
that's that's uh, not at that school, but another school. So she
brought her there, hung out with us on a Friday night, and then
she left an early Saturday morning and went to the siblings school. Oh purf.
Yeah, so so you know, so Saturday, Yeah, so we
get in. Let me just say something about Texas. First of all,
really nice people. But I went outside, had a little smoke, sit
down on in front of the hotel on like it's not a planter because there's
no there's no plants, there's no sand. It's just a ledge. Okay,
let's just call it a ledge. So I was sitting I'm sitting outside
having a cigarette on the ledge, had my purse down, I was on
the phone, chit chatting whatever. I was there for like half an hour
probably, and then I get up and I stand end up, I pick
up my purse and there's a cock roach like the size of my hand,
like the size of a toddler's hand. It was huge. I took a
video of it with I think wings, but I wasn't sticking around to find
out, but just crawled out from underneath my purse. Oh and now I'm
thinking, are they is it in my hair? Did it lay eggs?
About? What's going on? Is there more in my purse? I'm dumping
my purse out on the sideblock like a crazy idiot. I'm like, I'm
I screamed. I was like, and then you know when I don't know
if you ever scream and freak out oh you're by yourself, yes, on
a street. Yeah, and people look at you. And it's in front
of a busy hotel because I'm right next to the valet guys pretty much like
down a couple, you know, feet and cars are coming out and I
look, I'm like, look like a craze maniac. Anyway, so nice
to say. I ad not did not sit down anywhere unless it was a
chair, and even then I was suspect it furred to me. I would
have been constantly like looking down at my feet, crawling over me me too,
and I was like my hair constantly like is it in my hair?
Is it in my purse? Because it literally crawled out and I don't know
where it came from. There was no cracks, no plant like I said,
there was no plants nothing. There was just like event. And now
I'm like, are they in the hotel? Does it have family insight?
Is this the roach motel? Like I was flipping out anyway, But yeah,
it was It was fun. I was. I stayed in like downtown
Fort Worth, I guess, and there was purple banners of TCU everywhere.
They're calling TCAT well now they Italian or friends are calling it uh at Texas
California University because it's like all these like you know, tons of kids,
a lot of kids from our school, a lot of kids from California.
But it was really good learning a learning uh uh experience for Natalia because she
got to like, you know, see what, how what it's like when
you go buy your you know, when you're starting off at a college.
What happens when you get a roommate? How do you meet the roommate,
then you meet the other you know, then you meet the other roommates,
like just like setting up and stuff like that. The mom, the other
mom was super nice. I really like her. Yeah, I was kind
of actually kind of bummed that she was going to be gone the rest of
the trip because I was, you know, I was like, okay,
well what am I going to do with these girls now? Like they don't
responsible for them? No? No, not really, no, not no,
because I was It was just an Italia and her other friend pretty much.
The other girl was there for like a half a day the next when
she went on the tour, then sat sorry, I'm getting my days mixed
up. So then Saturday she left, so it was just an Italian and
her roommate pretty much, and I was like, you guys, you girls
want to go? And it was such a quick trip. It was now
it's Sat to day. So I was like, you girls want to go
out to dinner Saturday night? Like there's you're talking about the girl who goes
to the college. Yes, the girl that's living there. Her and Natalia
are there from Saturday on. Got it? Okay? So I'm like,
do you guys, you girls want to go? You guys want to have
dinner? And they're like, uh, we really were. There's a big
game like football of course is huge, right, there's a big blackout and
mom, it's blackout and I'm like, okay, let's blackout me means you
wear black. I guess. I was like, oh, I brought a
purple shirt like I thought, you know right, like I was gonna wear
you know, the right like color, school colors, school colors. Yeah,
now it's black. It was black. I really was not in the
mood to going, and at first I was gonna go. I was like,
all right, I'll go to the game. How do I get a
ticket? And she's like, I don't know, you just buy one when
you get there, Like that doesn't she's like our go online. What Kaylin
like was that's a big football school, so I would imagine that they sell
out fairly often, and depending on the team that they're playing, I'd be
like, yeah, they're probably going to sell out, right, So but
if your other girl probably knows she's been a student there, she didn't know
anything, Like, but I don't even know how they got it. I
was like, but like, if you're a student, you guys, they
can get in or whatever. They have have a student section whatever. But
like I was like, well, how am I gonna get in? And
I want to ask the other moms. She left anyway, But I didn't
want to look like so I would have been so out of it. I
would have just been like, you guys have the best time. That's where
I was heading. I'll be having dinner at my hotel. I was like,
I am not in the mood to go to a hot ass sweaty with
all these college kids. No, thank you, no. So, but
I had a feeling that they were going to go and get like tired or
like, you know, I don't I had a feeling that these girls are
just they're gonna go, but they're not gonna want to stay for the whole
game. So I said, when you get bored or when you're tired,
why don't you call me? And then if you guys. But then the
game started at seven, so it was like out the window. So I
wasn't going to the game. I was, let's like call me after the
game. So I ended up walking around Saturday late afternoon, just walking around
the town checking it out on my phone. Went and had dinner at at
a stake place because I was I didn't really texted you Saturday night. Yes,
I was in bed. I was in bed by then. Really,
yeah, what time was it? We went to bed early. I'm gonna
I'm gonna look right now. Yeah, I texted you at eight o'clock.
It was ten o'clock our time. Oh true, Yeah, and we had
to get up early for a flight, so I texted you. This is
a quick interjection that at the wedding that I was at, the furred the
dance between the girl who was getting married and her dad, who's John's friend.
Uh played a Bruce Springsteen song for their father daughter dance called when You
Need Me, And it was a studio outtake from nineteen eighties, some deep
cut did you know the song? I don't wait, what now? I
I can't remember what's the name of the song? Again? When it's called
when you need name? Should I play you a moment of it? I
think I know the song, but I'm not. I'm not trying to see
it's on that It's on that album tracks, which is his Deep cuts.
Oh yeah, I know this. You know the song? Oh what wouldn't
be so pretty? What a nice song to dance too? Yeah? Apparently
apparently the the girl it's a very platonic song until like the last verse,
and then it has like a romantic edge. So she had asked the DJ,
who was the worst wedding dj I think I've ever encountered in my life.
She asked the wedding DJ to cut before the last verse of the song.
Oh, he had one job, which is to keep people on the
dance floor dancing, and to make the and to do the thing that the
bride asked for, and he didn't. So it was getting kind of like
romantic out there. And I made a joke to the one girl there was
John's college friend, and then another college the only other college friend that was
there for the college friend's daughter's wedding and his wife. So I was chatting
with her and I was like, wouldn't it be crazy if, like Chris,
that's the college friend and the girl Emily, what if they just started
making out? Like and then we were laughing so hard as just the idea
that they just start kissing and nobody knows what to do, and then it's
like would we all storm out and would be like that's the sky sting?
And then this the girl Chris who I was talking to, was like,
I know, or would we all be just too invested at this point,
like the way we've already sat through for the vows, Like would we all
just be like, I guess they're just really close, Like we were having
so much fun with this train of thought. I love that. Yeah.
And I was like, and then we'd probably knowing me, I'd be like,
wow, I mean, you guys made out and then they try to
gaslight us. What are you talking about? No, we didn't were talking
about like we were just whispering. She whispered in my ear, and no,
I saw I saw you guys. No we didn't. You're sick.
You're a sick person. That's what you do at weddings, I was trying
to entertain myself. I get it. It was bored. Yeah, yeah,
okay, all right, so you go back to your you go back
to your room. You could talk from the town. So I was,
I went and had dinner. I just like sat somewhere and had dinner by
myself, which is which was interesting in its own. So I'm sitting at
I walk into this restaurant. It's like five o'clock and it's, you know,
starting to get busy, and I don't have a reservation or anything,
and so I was like, I'll just sit at the bar. So I
and I was like, can I eat dinner at the bar? Sure?
So this the bartender, the sean, he was like uh. He's like
He's like, he gives me the menu and I'm looking at it and I'm
thinking, I'm just gonna get like a salad and appetizer and he's like,
girl, he goes, we have lamb chops that are not on the menu.
And I was like, oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna get that because
Wendy makes good lamb chops. And I was so I got that. But
then so I'm sitting there and I'm listening to all these even though I'm listening
to my podcast. I'm listening to all these people come in and they're talking
about is their table ready? And they're being There's a Karen that's like I,
I, you know, she's already ragging on her friend that hasn't shown
up yet. But I told her that we're supposed to be here at five
thirty, but the resuva is really at five, you know, like uh
or the vice versa. She's like so that she's not light you know she's
doing She's telling her she's already ratting her friend. Reverse psychology. Yeah,
yeah, And I wanted to people do that to me too, don't rag
on your friend. And then you know, and then there's the other couple.
So then they leave and go sit their table. Then there's the other
couple that comes up and and they're they're waiting for their table for dinner.
They don't say two words to each other. They're sitting there ten minutes they
I swear to God, not a peep. I didn't even really I didn't
I know they were together, but I was just like I wanted to.
I wanted to like be involved in everybody's conversations, like so what so how
is your day? Like hello, Like they're not speaking to each other,
and I'm thinking to myself, I'm like, all these scenarios. Are they
gotten a huge fight, but they already had reservations, Maybe they're already meeting
friends like blah blah blah whatever. Then and and then I'm saying and then
I'm sitting there and uh, I get my lamb chops and then these three
girls come up. There's only two seats. I'm at the end of the
bar where the bar turns, and then there's two seats there right on the
turn right. So there's three girls and they just PLoP down like like their
purse, like right by my bread, like no no awareness of space,
you know, and so I'm like shoving my Anyway, it was it was
really interesting. So I'm sitting there while Natalian her friend are at the game,
and and then I just go walk around and then I posted a picture
on our Oh that was Friday night. When I first got there, I'm
cowboy. I was like, you know, I walk in. The girl
at the front desk couldn't have been nicer. Blanca. She's like, welcome,
you know, welcome, blah blah blah, And I was starving,
and I go to the to the to the hotel bar. At the hotel
bar just to get like an an appetizer and go to bed and I walk
and there's all these cowboys and I was like, you know, after I
had a drink and my dinner and then I was on my way to go
to bed, I was like, oh, I gotta take a picture for
the frick grying out loud family to see, like I've met a real life
cowboy crazy, like they really like walk around and in Texas, you walk
out, they're walking out onto the street, walking with the beers in their
hand like open. Oh yeah, I didn't know that they take their drinking
real seriously and no shit man. Yeah. But you know what speaking of
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I left. I'm at the Cowboy yep, and I went, I was
Friday, you had Saturday night at the restaurant. Then you can pick up
the girls. So then I get I get a text from Natalia. Of
course in the middle of the game, I'm tired. I'm gonna come back
to the hotel and I'm starving. Maybe I can order room service. And
I was like, I knew it mean I had a nice dinner by myself.
But I was like, great, yeah, come on, come on
on back. Because we had to get up early. We had a we
had a flight. Wasn't that early. A flight was like ten thirty,
but you know, getting getting to the airport and all that, and of
course in Itali has got to check her. I gotta teach us girl how
to travel. I mean, she's got like big thing of face wash.
Oh no, I know, like, come on, so she has to
check her luggage all the time. I'm like, I gotta, I gotta
get her, like she's gonna be traveling back and forth. She's gonna need
to anyway. So did she like the school. She loved it. She
I mean, you know, I don't want her heart, you know,
I don't want her to get her hopes up. And she knows that,
but she might do the early decision to that to tcuh okay, you know,
she's like she her heart was set on going to Florida to school,
but I don't, you know, And I'm like, Florida, well it's
far second of all. It's like Florida, you know. And uh,
I know, like you know, Antie Wendy's out there and stuff, but
whatever, like she's not there all the time, and Texas is so close.
It was really like two and a half hour flight on the way out,
three hour flight back. It was oh god, and the flight on
the way back. Yes, The bottom line was she loved it. She
really, she really likes it. And the fact that she's got a lot
of friends, family like other like older siblings of kids that she knows they're
there. So she really loved it. Yeah, I hope. I mean,
well, we'll see what happens. We're gonna go. I'm taking Sonny
to Colorado later this month. Okay, So now I gotta take Sonny out
and to take him to Boulder. Yeah, and I think Colorado University as
well. With he's got so he's got his friend who's going with his dad.
So I'm gonna be like hanging out with a dad. So I'm I'd
like to take Natalia with me so that I have her, you know,
but like as a you know, traveling partner. But we'll see. So
yeah, coming back from we were in the very last seat, I know,
the very last, the second to last row on the airplane. Natalia
was smashed in next to the window. And she's very claustrophobic. Like Sonny
is the easiest guy to travel with. Easy is everything to be with Natalia,
No, not so much. And if she's uncomfortable, she's gonna let
me know, not anybody else but me, and everything's my problem. And
her phone somehow malfunction was malfunctioning, and now we got to get it fixed,
and now that's my problem. But like the only time her phone would
work over the weekend is if it was fully charged, and even then it
would shut off all of a sudden, then come back on and then and
then it's probably full and then have like a forty percent charge. I don't
know what the hell is going on with it, but it's fucked up.
And that's not the time for her phone to malfunction while we're traveling, yeah,
exactly. Then she's texting me from the game from her friend's phone.
This is my friend's phone. Oh my god. Well I have anxiety just
hearing about that. Yeah, because now I don't know where she is.
At first it said that her phone shut off and she was at the dorm,
but I know she's not there. She's at the game, like it
was just okay, So anyway, so we're at the airport. She can't
wait to get on the plane, settle in so that she can, right,
So we get we're the last to get on. We're a group A
eight. Okay, I don't even know they went up that high. Yeah,
eight. We were a group F. So that's like six group,
the sixth group, sixth group yeah, you were Southwest Alaska, Alaska.
Yeah, we were American. So we get on and like on the flight
out, I had a very nice, relaxing flight that was half full.
Did you fly out of Burbank Burbank, Yes, we flew out of Burbank
as well. Were you at Burbank yesterday? Yeah, but we we flew
back in late at night, not late at night, but yeah we are
are yeah, like eight o'clock at night our yeah, okay, yeah,
so we we got in like at noon yesterday. But so we're on the
okay, so we're in the last row. We sit down and it's a
packed flight, packed, and she's at the window. I'm in the middle.
Of course, there's a guy watching Breaking bad next to me, nice
enough guy, quiet, and she's like. The first thing she does,
pulls the thing the charger out to plug it in. It's not working.
The outlet's not working. Okay, so that's on the seat outlet. Then
there's another outlet at the bottom where you can put with the prongs you plug
it in. Doesn't work, And I'm looking around at the other aisles.
Everybody's outlets are lit blue except for our row. Our three are dead as
a doornail. Oh no, and no phone on the flight on a three
hour flight with a kid, like a teenager. And also I was like,
you have your earbuds right, so you can because I was like,
the bitch better might be trying to take my earbuds. She's like, and
I go out, your earbuds charge. That's one of the reasons why I
didn't answer you because the night before she left out, she thought she left
her charger, but she had it. But she's using my charger to plug
her phone all night. So I had my phone on off pretty much for
a lot, you know, most of the night, so she was charging.
So I saw your thing like in the middle of the night in the
dark. So anyway, so she plugs it in. It's not working and
there's everything's dead, and she's like, come on. And then we're on
the runway and we're sitting there for like almost an hour before we take off
because we're in line. We're in line, right, And then the worst
thing is the pilot doesn't really say anything either. He doesn't give an update,
you know. I I like, the pilotic is an update, you
know, We're just sitting there and he's like I'm like just And finally the
steward this was like, you know, now where we're in line, you
know, I can't see anything because Natalia closes the shade because the sun is
beaming on her. She's a very she runs hot, so in the hotel
she has to put the air on blast and I'm freezing and she's like,
I love I love the cold. I love She's like her dad, I
love sleeping in the cold. I love the cold. So now we're on
the airplane. The air she's constantly like fussing with the air vents above us.
She's opening, she called she's open, and she's push but but like
you know, and I'm like, Natalia, and you can do that all
day long. It's not gonna get any colder. And on top of it,
she's wearing sweatpants and a and a hoodie and a tank top of course,
so she's like, course yeah, And she's like aren't you hot?
And I was like no, And she's like she's like, why aren't we
taking off? What's going on? What am I gonna do this whole I'm
I'm thinking too, what are we gonna do on this whole trip? With
no freaking phone? Nothing to look at but the back of a seat.
Well, could she use her air bud air pods to and watch something on
your phone with you? I no, I mean she could have, but
we my earbuds were barely working. I had them charged, but one earbud
goes out all the time. I don't know what's with earbuds. Everybody seems
to have this problem. I don't know if it's because of the iOS update
or something, but my earbuds kept anyways, So I was like, Okay,
I didn't know. I thought I knew it was a packed flight,
but there's gotta be other seats and I want her. I want her out
of this seat, like she's driving me nuts. So after we get up
in the air, Oh, and the people behind us is a mom had
with like two toddlers and the seat next to her and they're just like kicking
Italia's seat kicking, which in Italia that part didn't bother her, but for
me I was I was like, I'm having heart palpitations because she's so like,
it's hot, Why are we taking up? What am I doing my
phone? I'm thinking, Oh I wanted to do was watch Love Is Blind
on this fucking flight. So yeah, I'm like three episodes, boom,
we'll be home, like it's all I wanted to do. And she's like,
got nothing, there's no, there's no what happened? Did she ever
get? So I get up. So we get up in the air and
I say like, can we get a seat? Is there a seat available
for her? There's one empty seat and it's row twenty three, and so
she goes to look at it and she comes right back. And later on
when I saw it, it was like two huge guys, one's on the
on each end. She would be in the middle of two. So she's
like no. Then we get back. She gets back to the seat.
The mom behind us, being a mom, thank God, comes to the
rescue and she was like, you can use you can just give me your
charger and just I'll plug it into the back of my seat. Oh done,
Like thank you, thank you, Oh my God, like I can
breathe. Yes, thanks to moms, thanks us, moms, our problem
solvers. Right, So yeah, because I was like, what do we
get? So she plugged in her phone, thank god. And then and
then as soon as we take off, it's freezing on the flying So yeah,
but all in all, It was a great trip and I'm I'm looking
forward to going with Sonny. That's all I have to say. That's fun.
I am like an anxious traveler. Yeah, but it was kind of
nice because I was with John and we left on Friday morning, so it's
just you and John. Yeah, who was with the kids? Just them?
So Elby called off of work for Saturday, so she was home all
So here's what happened. What happened. We drove the kids to school on
Friday, got people, walked, got our stuff, LB drove us to
the airport Burbank. Then we left. Then Elbi was Lby picked up the
kids from school, brought him home and then she went to work until ten
third and they like door dashed themselves dinner. And Xander's been so good.
He's he is so responsible. He was like the mom the family. He
stepped up. He walked. He did like almost all the dog walks,
so he walked people at night, and then the whole next day Elbie was
home with them. They didn't really do that much, but they you know
whatever, they ate food and and then Sunday Xander walked people in the morning
and then Elbie had a double shift at work, so she basically left them
home all day and neither of them could find anybody to like come over and
hang out with them. Sadie was trying so hard to like find a friend
to come over. Apparently nobody was willing or could or available to socialize with
them, so they were just home the whole weekend. But they're pretty good
kids, get this. Xander cleaned the house. Wow, he walked the
dog, he fed the dog, and he cleaned the house. He cleaned
the kitchen floor, he cleaned the kitchen, he cleaned the living room.
We came home to like a clean house. Oh my god. We were
making so many jokes with them about like, oh, did you guys have
a party. But here's the funny thing about Elbie is that like John and
I were laughing on the way out because we were such worse kids than like
our kids, which is just it's just weird how that happened, because I
didn't give a fuck, Like my parents left me alone for the weekend and
I immediately tried to get into my house. I told my parents, said,
you have to find somewhere to listen. We're both wrong in this scenario.
My parents wouldn't leave me in the house because they didn't trust me,
and I guess with good reason, because I had I had told friends,
like, hey, my parents are going to be out of town. But
they had told me, you have to find somewhere to stay. But I
was like, they have no business farming me out to some unsuspecting you know,
friend's mom's house for the weekend. Like you can't do that. So
in my mind, I'm like, okay, sure, cool. And then
I was like, and then I'll just go in my house and sleep in
my bed, like over the weekend. I'm not going to do anything really
wrong, except the only thing I was going to do is just have like
a couple of friends come over with alcohol. You know, That's all that
was the plan. I know, I've told you this story before. So
I show up with my friends and they had locked they locked the door,
they double locked the door. So it's a key I don't have. They've
locked the back door. I can't I can't get in the house. So
but now it's me, Plus I've got some friends and nowhere to stay,
by the way, so I decided that I'm going to climb in a bathroom
window. This was before people didn't have alarms. We live in a palace.
Yeah, yeah, there's no ring. Yeah, so you know,
all's good. I have to climb up though, to the second story to
get into the bathroom window because the that's the only one that I knew was
unlocked. I get up there, get the window open. One of my
freaking nay nay nosy neighbors comes around. Oh, I get in the house.
I opened the front door. Let my friends in neighbor comes over to
the house. Stephanie, you're not supposed to be here, and I was
like, what what are you talking about? This is my house here,
I live here. And they're like, yeah, well your parents gave us
explicit instructions to make sure that you're not here, which again we're both wrong.
Hey, they did say you're not allowed in the house and be because
they didn't trust me, and b I wasn't that trustworthy. So I was
in the house. So then I have to leave. I don't even remember.
Oh I think that was. That was the weekend where I went to
DC. I went. I ran away from home. Basically I was like
fuck them. I was really upset. Yeah, and then I went to
go visit my friend. I called my friend Cathy, and she was like,
come to DC, and I was like, okay, and I'm gonna
go to DC and I'm never coming home. Fuck my parents, they're horrible
people. So I fly nosy Nancy neighbor, I take a train to DC
and then I told you this, And then I got a job, Like
I literally got a waitressing job because I was like, I had spent all
my money on the train to go there, so now I'm like, well,
I'm not money to get home. Man, got myself a job.
I was like sixteen, Yeah, but you have to be twenty one to
work at this place because and they served alcohol. But to start training,
they didn't ask for I D or anything. They're just like, okay,
you know, so I shadow for the first couple of days. The day
that I'm supposed to work my first real shift, I work my shift.
I make a little money enough to like get my train ticket home. But
at the end of my shift, they're like, okay, now we have
to officially do your paperwork, so you have to show ID showing that you're
twenty one. And I was like, oh yeah about that. I lost
my driver's license and they're like mmmm, And I was like, but I
am. I assure you that I'm twenty one, and they're like, no,
but we have we have to do official paperwork. So in order to
put you on the payroll so you can get paid, right, we have
to have your idea. And I was like I didn't think about that.
Yeah, so I was like, okay, never mind. So I and
at that point I was like, what am I going to do live here
with no money? And also I think I told you this. My friend
Kathy was one of these things where she was two years older than me,
I believe, or maybe a year older than me, but also one of
these super smart kids who had graduated early. So I was probably a junior
in high school at this time. Yeah, yeah, I was, and
she was like first year. She was going to like George Washington, I
don't know, some good school at Georgetown, some good school out there,
and had overnight become very ry, like want to be sophisticated. Like suddenly
she had all these friends that were like black turtlenecks and they drank. Somebody
had an espresso machine back in the day, and I was like, who
are you? Who are you people? Like, I didn't give a fun
I was just like I want to get drunk, right, I want to
listen to music, like they were like, let's listen to classical music.
I was like these people, and she was insufferable in my mind. In
my mind, I was like, oh my god, these posers that are
like getting together to discuss authors, who are you? Beat Nicks? Did
I ever tell you the story about I had gone to visit this same girl,
Kathy in New York. She was so I had this friend who was
very rich, and we used to I know, I've told this story that
we used to go play Donkey Kong for like, we would skip school,
go to lunch at this country club and charge it to her dad's charge card.
It was the best times. And we thought we were We would order
like three tabs, you know, diet diet, sat us in a row.
But like we thought we were just like so extravagant. But I went
to go visit her in New York one time and she we go to go
out, and she's wearing this hat with like a giant feather, like a
really long feather. Now you gotta understand I'm younger than she is, and
just I'm a teenager. And it was very cringey. Was this when like
roach clips were in, like those feathery No, this was like when you
put in your hair. No, this was like she thought she was going
to like the Kentucky Derby. It was eight ats like that to begin with,
so embarrassing and also just in my mind, it was like a big
neon sign the attracting attention to both of us, very unwanted attention. So
I was like, oh my god, my skin was I was like what
I tried to say, like you really want to wear that hat, Like
that's a really long feather, you know, And she's like, I love
this hat. I mean it was a really long feather like it was,
you know, people were having to like duck and you know, bob and
weave to get you know, hitting people in the eye. Were on an
elevator, and it's like just us, nobody that that many people could fit
because of this fucking feather hat. At least that's in my mind. That's
how I remember it. And I remember thinking like, yeah, our friendship
is sort of winding down right then, but then I have nowhere to go
that weekend. This was past the New York thing, so I'm already like
wary of her, and now she's like with the espresso and the you know,
turtlenecks, and I'm like, oh god, I've got to get out
of here. Even my home life is better than this. So I took
my money and I bought and I think, I know I've told you this
story before, and I'm gonna stop saying that. But I get back and
my mom had been back from out of town, had not noticed that.
I was gone, Wow, that's a story. I wrote that story that
dulous. I mean, I changed a lot of the details, but I
wrote that story in one of my books because it was so weird to just
come home and have them be like I think my mom was disappointed. I
think my mom wished that I had horrible left home for good. That's terrible.
So there was no like, oh you didn't have anywhere to go,
you poor thing. No, she was just like, oh, it's you.
That's awful. Let's take a quick break. Yeah, okay, we're
back. But I was gonna say so the weekend, my weekend, it
was really nice, except, and I know you're gonna know what I'm talking
about, all the small talk because I'm at a wedding. The only people
I know. So I know it's John's one of his best friends from college,
and then one other best friend from college. But I've never lived in
the same town with these guys, so I don't I don't know them that
well. Still small talk, you know, when you're together, so you
don't really know it and do you know, And a lot of a lot
of people are just no, no people, nobody, nobody. I don't
know. The girl who's getting married, I don't know her, never met
her fiance. Don't really care to be honest, Like, I mean,
she seems super sweet, but like I'm friends with the parents, so it's
like we're there to support and you know, we sent a nice gift and
all that, and you know, but I'm kind of there for the fun
like weekend away, right of course. So we get in on Friday in
like the late afternoon. Now we have to drive from Seattle Airport to Bellingham,
Washington, which was two and a half hours wow, because it's rush
hour traffic. It's like a Friday afternoon, and you know, I'm like
a nervous passenger in a car, so like I'm hitting the emergency break,
you know, yeah, the imaginary break on the passenger side, and I'm
there's a lot of like, John, could you slow down, like just
a little bit, Like I'm not trying to make you nervous any That's the
one place in life that you and I would just kill each other. I
know, I know, I'm just like I was, but a blind I'm
trying. At one point, I'm just looking down at my phone and playing
threes and like letting him do his thing. It wasn't I'm making myself sound
worse than I was. I was, I was okay, I just but
it was like after a day of traveling and now we're on unfamiliar road and
it's super packed and we neither of us know where we are. We're just
trying to follow navigation but a New York. Is it getting dark or at
least it was daylight? No? Yeah, I was, I think it
was still light out. Yeah. Anyway, we get to the inn.
We're staying at an inn, uh huh. But John didn't think okay,
So I'm like, I'm all about the chargers and the squares, right,
and John is like, we're not gonna need squares because like it's a hotel,
like they're gonna have they You don't need that. And I was like,
okay, well I'm gonna bring one. I'm gonna bring mine, like
you know, there's no reason not. It's not like it needs its own
suitcase. It's changing. I'm like, just bring one just in case.
He's like no, no, no, no, we're not going to need
that. Well, we get there and it's like an kind of an old
fashioned it's an inn. It's not a hotel. It's not a motel.
It's an inn. It's very quaint. There's no squares, there's no places
to plug your phone in. And of course John's phone dies easily. What's
a square you know, the like hold that you've got one right next to
you, kaylin Oh the cubes? Yeah, a cube that it's got like
yeah, that plug it into an outlet, and that's got a USB.
I mean I had a feeling it was a battery of some sort, but
I didn't. Okay, yeah, so you need that unless there's an Unless
there's a straight up USB. That's sometimes hotels have them. You need your
own. You need to be able to plug it into an outlet, plug
your phone in. Yeah. Well John didn't bring one, so it's just
me. So oh so overnight, so it would became like a charging thing.
Yeah, became a whole thing of like, who's going to use the
charge when we're back in the room to charge our phones up. But anyway,
I'm telling you, you gotta get that portable battery constant. But that's
because my phone is really old and it'll die in no time. Yeah,
it pretty much never leaves my side. Now I'm gonna give it. I'm
gonna get one for her. Just order online. Yes, yeah, worth
everybody. But the so Friday night we go to the there's like a gathering
for the it's not a rehearsal dinner, but it's like for out of town
guests. They're doing like a little thing at this little like place. Now,
I am an extrovert. I am I will talk. I can talk
to anybody. Obviously, I'm built for podcasting. I can. I have
and it's not hard for me. But you reach a point where you're like,
I don't know anything, I don't care about them or their lives.
I'm never going to see them again because it's not like we had that much
time to talk to Like John's friend from college, it's his daughter's getting he's
entertaining like, of course he's stopping by. He's so happy we're there.
He's he's like the nicest guy. And his wife, the MoMA, is
so nice, she's fun, she's cool. But we can't monopolize their time.
We can't be like, hey, we're we don't know anyone else that
you guys, don't you hate that? Like you want to hit your wagon
to somebody, but they're busy or they're the one. Like when I went
to Suzanne's sister's wedding, all I wanted to do is talk to Suzanne,
but she's busy, right yeah, right yeah. Also, it's a weird
thing when you're like in a place like Bellingham, Washington and John's friend,
bless his heart, he is really the nicest guy, but he's and he's
so sweet that he's like bragging on me to other people. But he's like,
oh yeah, Stephanie. She's like a big Hollywood writer. And it's
like I didn't like write Star Wars, like what like you know what I
mean? Yeah, a big Hollywood writer. No, I've written on some
shitty game shows and like I'm not going to be like, well not really,
but I do have a book coming out and I'm like, how do
you really respond to that? Because then you know, you got people and
they're like, oh really, and I want to go No, not really,
not really at all, Like I worked on whose line is it anyway
in the nineties? Ever heard of that? Like there's no you know what
I mean, so that it creates this weird like and I know he's just
like proud of me because you know, but it's like yeah, they're like
okay, so and I'm like, what about you? What do you do?
You know what I mean? And I would be like you and I
would be great married together too, Like we would be good, a good
team because I don't want to talk to anybody, like shove you out there
to go go talk, go socialize. But I was like asking these people
all these questions. But in my mind, I'm like, I'm never going
to see them again. Even when we go to the wedding tomorrow. I'm
sure we're not going to be We're not seated at a table with them.
Who cares. I'm never seeing them again. But I have to be like,
what really you did? Used to do? What for alypic? That's
that's a like I'm I'm I hate the small talk I hate. I'm like
you, Lynette, I am very much an introvert, and I won't even
talk to like really people that I'm supposed to. There's this big, like
kind of running joke in my family now that I don't know any of the
parents at my daughter school, I don't talk to any of them. It's
always like, oh, did you do you know this person's dad or mom?
I gonna, now, well, didn't you see him when you were
at the thing? I was like, well, he was there. I
didn't say anything to him. Well, that's how John is because John's an
introvert too with social anxiety. So I'm the same way. I'm like,
did you talk to so and so's mom because she's the room mom or whatever?
And He's like who? And I'm like, okay, you gotta look
for Jason's mom, Like I'm out. Yeah. Even with the all the
soccer parents now they're you know, I'm taking Eyelet to soccer practice on tuesdays,
like, oh did you see this person's No, I mean I saw
them, but it's not like I said anything, right, I'm not gonna
do that, But those people I'm invested in because I'm like, this is
the start of a beautiful, like lifelong friendship probably yeah, yeah, until
I find out I don't like them, but you know what I mean,
Like at the beginning, all that's what happened with with That's how we ended
up in Lochagnyata. Basically, it's because I hitched my wagon to Sonny's little
best friend in kindergartens. Brother. Yeah. She was on top of everything.
She knew when the meetings where she knew what kind of paint he needed
to bring to school on Thursday and what outfitties of what spirit where week was?
What right you know? And and here we are and then she told
me where to live and we moved like she they moved to lock and we
and we moved to like yeah, yeah, so my my Laura, my
friend Laura, the one I met a freaking mommy and me was the same
for me, she's there's there's elbody would never have gone to camp every summer.
I wouldn't have known about any of that without her being like, Okay,
so this is what we're doing this summer. We're signing the kids up
for camp and then I'll be missed one year. But then because she was
too nervous to do it. But then the next year was already having FOMO
and like, yeah, I'll do it. I'm like, what do I
do right, saying with basketball, sunny, playing basketball, every all of
it. Yeah, yeah, I learned everything from other moms. I've never
even and I am, like I said, I can be a go getter.
I know people I'm more of a no getter. I can be,
but I guess I just choose not to be because I'm like someone else will
know. Somebody else has done the research on this. Yeah, the house
has done their home inventing the wheel right right, Yeah, somebody's somebody's signed
their kids up for basketball right before. Let me just ask them, Hey,
who's signing their kids up for basketball? Yeah? Why do I got
to get on Google and search where to sign up for basketball? Then you're
gonna make the wrong choice anyway. You're gonna go pick the wrong Yes,
yes, which happened to me. Which happened too. Yes, I picked
one in like Studio City by accident, and everybody was like, why are
you doing the one that's like two blocks from your house. I'm like,
I don't know. Nobody told me. Yes, you know what happened with
me? Girl, Scouts because Sonny's friend is Sonny's mother's friend's mother is for
the boy stuff. I didn't find a girl mom, and I screwed myself
because I signed Italia up with like Brownies in the wrong neighborhood, like you
know, with girl Scouts in the wrong neighborhood, right, And and then
that was that. And then she was like, why why am I?
All my friends are at the other girl Scout meeting and I'm here with an
out of town meeting and my friends, the one that the ones that tell
me everything to do, my jews, all three of them troop leaders.
God, bless you guys, Thank you, thank you for stepping up.
Thank you for being the type of people that want to be troop leaders.
I would rather slit my wrists right than be a troop leader, right.
Who was that level of interest in what girl Scouts are doing? Also,
once you're a troop leader, you can't quit, which thank god I wasn't,
because Elbi was like, I'm out, like after one season of it.
She wanted to get to the part where we sell cookies. I believe
she did it for one year and then she was like, yeah, I'm
done, saying with Nataliyat. She wanted to get out there and sell,
sell, sell, and then she did and she was like no, no,
no, I'm done. Yeah, and I remember, like, yes,
I remember when she quit because I was like, really you want to
quit, because honestly, it was one of the easiest activities we'd ever done.
It was only met every other week, and for me, it was
just drop her off. And because all my Jewish mom friends all their kids
went, they all went to different schools. We got in with the little
our little charter school early on and stuck with it. Well, these other
moms were at different schools, so this was really one of the only times
that Elbie saw her friends. So I was very surprised when she was like,
yeah, I don't want to go anymore. And I was like,
well why not. She's like, well, she Her only thing that she
liked about it was the snack was that they have strawberries and like snacks.
But other than that, she was like, well, it's just really boring.
Just do like boring activities. And I was like, well, I
can't argue with that. Yeah, I'll get you some strawberries and snacks at
home exactly. Yeah, all right, this was I went, let's finish
you. I want to hear the rest of about your trip on Friday.
Yeah, on Friday, I will tell you the rest about my trip and
we'll hear more from you. I think for Patreon this week we're going to
talk about Dak Shepherd. I think I have some things to say about about
a controversy starring Dak Shepherd. Okay, but before we go, Adam Lerner
three one zero nine nine eight seven zero four eighties a car broker. You
can go to Adam's Got a Car dot com. He can get you a
car. He's a car broker. If you don't know what that is.
He can find you the best deal on a car, no cost to you.
He can also sell your car for more money than you're probably going to
get in less hassle. You don't have to do that car Vana like.
He will find a dealership that will buy your car, and he can help
you get a least whatever you need. Adam's Got a Car okay. Also
Mayor and from Sugar Skull. It's a small bakery and gift shop on the
island of Kawaii, and if you're vacationing there, you can go check them
out. Or you can like and follow their Instagram page at sugar Skull eight
oh eight. Also, Basic Becky can get you a T shirt or a
mug or a mouse pad. Love her shirts, love her shirts super soft,
get anything that you want on their just basic Becky dot com, or
find her on Facebook at Basic Becky. And last, but not least,
will throw in the Family Skeptical. That's the podcast about raising kids with no
religion, So family Skeptical, give it a listen, download an episode,
help their download numbers. They only put out an episode every three weeks,
so not gonna like clog up your feed m M, you know, yeah,
check it out all right, Well, thanks everybody, We love you
guys, thanks everybody for the support. Yeah, thanks Klein, thank you.
You're a parrot. Now, don't iff at us. It's good letting go.