Weird Way Media Nike. Mister Walters is see that guy with it now He's
an actor at the phone drive and the only camp driver in his place.
Hello and welcome again tonight mister Walters a taxi podcast. I am HP your
co host and with me as always is my co host, Father Malone.
Father Malone. How are you like my main man, Jeff, I'm going
to have the eggs, Benedict. This week we are talking Taxi episode twenty
Hollywood Calling. This was written by the Charles Bros, Glenn and Less.
Chazz is the Chazz is from Henderson. We love the Henderson Chaz boys.
We do, we do sincerely. We love them almost as much as we
love the director James Burrows. This week, as every week, reminder,
we are doing these shows in broadcast order and not in order of filming.
And that's actually important because this episode actually was I believe was filmed much earlier
than some of the other episodes that we've covered, so it's very important we
stick to broadcast order. We open with one of what I Think and I'm
sure you took note of this Fathom alone. It's one of my favorite b
rolls yet it's a wonderful shot of Broadway Circa's nineteen seventy nine as a fleet
of cabs and other cars make their way down the street. Did you take
theation note of the most magnificent b roll shot of the entire series, effectively
of Times Square, just the edge of Times Square. What we're talking about
is forty ninth and Broadway here. Yeah, oh, hell yeah, I
took lot lo of it. I took note of the Embassy forty nine Cinema
HP. You know that was originally a Punch and Judy theater back in nineteen
fourteen, was it? And then in nineteen twenty two converted to movie no
nineteen thirty two converted to movie theater. It became the Hopkins, and then
it was the Westminster in thirty four when it screened only British films, and
then thirty six it became the World Theater became and they showed only foreign films,
and then after World War Two it was a mix of foreign and second
run up until nineteen seventy two when it became a porn theater with the premiere
of Deep Throat Interesting. Did you see what it is? What was showing
on the Marquee Slippery, went wet, I think you're mistaken. The Embassy
forty nine theater was showing one floor of the Cuckoo's Nest. Oh, you're
right, which is coincidentally co starring, of course, Danny DeVito and Christopher
Lloyd and Vincent Skiavelli, who we will see later as a priest from Lacas
home country. But we'll get to that, and when we get to it,
what you are thinking of is Circus Cinema across the street? Yes,
absolutely, yes. The Circus Center was sixteen oh four Broadway, everybody,
and it was proudly advertising, as you said, the world premiere of Slippery.
When wet I also took note in the background there was a marquee that
said, zoom, zoom, did you notice that delicious German potato place?
It was German. It was a chain of popular German restaurants. I had
no idea of this till I did a little bit of research. So this
was like a little mini history lesson right there in the first five seconds of
the episode. It was fantastic. We faded off from that into the garage,
are the resident demon. Sean Burns strides over to Louis Cage, dead
man walking here, Baby is two more episodes? Days are number. Yes,
I wrote down that Burns we got a Burns pan opening the episode HP.
I dimmed a little into the mister James Burrows autobiography. Yes, did
not learn a lot about Taxi, honestly, But what the one thing that
he did kind of lay take credit for and kind of pat himself on the
back for something that we're constantly praising him about, which is apparently in this
kind of multi camera comedy, having a pan or any kind of intro shot
into a scene is frowned upon because it takes time away from dialogue and there
has to be music, so you have to pay for that music. So
he insisted that it's just much more theatrical that way to have a scene.
So what he started doing is he would have characters talking while the pan is
going, and that cuts down the time spent not talking, and they don't
have to have music because it's already gone into dialogue. But pans were very
important to him, so it was nice to see it here, and as
always, it's a pan following Burns as he walks over to Loui's cage and
he tries talking to Louie and the other Cavies. Apparently he was out for
a week, taking his forestry finals, its finals, his finals, which
we can only assume is forestry You. To everyone who'll listen, he asks,
you miss me? You know, like I was gone, I was
taking my finals. Nobody missed you, John, And you know what you
are taking your finals, Baby, you just don't know it yet, your
final two episodes. I thought. I took this as a really ominous sign
that his eventual departure will be mourned by no one. It starts out like
his nightmare. Right, We've all had nightmares like this where we walk around
and nobody knows us, nobody cares about us. Everybody seems very unaffected by
our very presence. And that's kind of a weird way. That's how this
episode starts. Tony expositions that they're all preoccupied with a group from Hollywood that's
making a movie about cab driving, which is an interesting premise for this episode,
to say the least, Manta textual. Baby, this should have been
the final episode of the season, if not the series where they're making the
show about the show, because this is how they made the show, right,
Somebody there was an article written and then they had to go research.
So they went to a cab company and they did research just like this,
and then they turned went back to Hollywood and made a series out of it.
It is interesting, but I think what we're going to see not to
spoil our discussion here, but what we're going to see from my perspective is
that there's a lot more promise to this episode, to the premise of this
episode than we actually will see in the finished product. Clearly, it's a
callback to how they made the series. There's this fancy schmancy Hollywood group that's
coming to do research for cab drivers, so they're coming to the cab company.
That's why all apparently, that's why all the cab drivers are so disinterested
in John Burn. I mean, we know the answer. They're really disinterested
because they know he's a dead man walking. Do they know? I bet
they don't. Do you think they knew the writing was the writing on the
wall, or they just think we're finishing the season, we'll see what happens,
Like all the characters thought that of themselves. At least, I like
to believe that there's some part of these characters that recognizes that Burns is not
long for this universe. But anyway, so they're talking about this Hollywood group
that's going to come and talk about cab drivers, and Tony wonders if there
might be a part in it for Bobby, which is nice enough for him.
Ooh, and this prompts an extremely sarcastic geez, why didn't I think
of that reaction from Bobby, which I took. It seemed overly hurtful to
me. But it's perfectly in line with the character's casual cruelty towards Tony.
Don't you agree he was Wheeler being Wheeler here? Do you know wanted a
high five Wheeler for this moment because we haven't seen him as casually cruel of
late, he's been a little fuzzier and sensitive, you know, he's been
more actor, and here he is actually in his element. And can you
just imagine Bobby Wheeler on the set of anything where he had any little bit
of cloud Oh I hope we get an episode like that. He would be
a nightmare diva without a doubt, insufferable as the word. Well, you
know, you get on my case for going after Tony at every possible opportunity,
But Abby, Damn, you go after Bobby at the least provocation too.
But the difference is, I really admire and appreciate everything you think I'm
criticizing about. It's not a criticism at all. I'm praising Bobby Wheeler for
being Bobby Wheeler. That's fair enough. I'm just so annoyed by Tony S
foibles, and we'll see some of that coming up. So at that point,
Alex walks in with his bookings, and weirdly, the first thing he
asks Burns about are his finals. Alex seems very blase about the prospect of
these Hollywood types coming in the garage, very almost conspicuously so, and he
seems stiffened with annoyance when Tony presses him on the subject of these the Hollywood
people coming in, and even Burns is perplexed why Alex would take such an
interest in his finals, because clearly no one else cares. At this point,
we get our first Jeff sighting. I love it. Oh my god,
he's got a line here. I got so excited I wrote it down.
Jeff has a line exclamation point. He announces to the garage that a
limo has just pulled up, must be those Hollywood types that are coming to
check out the garage. They come Hollywood phonies, all of the cabbies,
and this garage is full of background cabbies. There must be thirty of them
in this particular shot, largely muted. I've got to say I saw them
pouring out to be seen by the Hollywood phonies, and I thought, oh,
here we go. And yet it it was just the most blase group
of real world looking caves of all time. Where was the space woman?
Where was Lumberjack Appleman? There is at least one person that I'm going to
quiz you on Momentarily, we'll get to him. Oh so all of the
cabby's, like I said, en mass, they rush to the door.
But Bobby tells them they're acting like a bunch of groupies. He's very annoyed.
He wants them to be more casual. Burns asks him, what should
we do, and Wheeler tells him that natural. So of course they all
rush to these predetermined spots. They gather around the card table as if they're
playing cards. Everyone rushes to a spot like they're playing some sort of musical
chairs or something, and weirdly, everybody freezes in place with what they're doing.
I think Bobby is actually mid Yawn and they just Freezebleau. It is.
It's like one of those a Fresco called Sunshine. That's it. Enter
our big guest star for this week, Martin maull It's Colonel Mustard. Everybody,
Martin Maull as Hollywood Phony Roger Chapman. We know him as Colonel Mustard
from the movie Clue. Also, I loved him in the movie FM.
He played Eric Swan, the self Absorbed DJ. He was also mister Peach
from My Bodyguard, Chris Makepeace's father who works, who manages the hotel that
he lives at, And the list goes on and on FO Tonight. Well,
I'm glad you brought that up, because I think I was a little
young for shows like Fernwood. I know I was for shows like Fernwood Tonight
or Mary Hartman Mary Hartman, which he also featured prominently on, so I
recognize that that's where he made his name, but it never really made an
impact on me. I don't know about you, father alone. I ended
up seeing it later and appreciating it, But yeah, I think what was
groundbreaking about that show had sort of sailed as far as my cultural appreciation of
it. But he's great. I love Martin Mall doesn't Martin Maule, Isn't
he just he's so comforting? He is, don't you feel that when he
shows up and something like he's kind of weird thing with what's his name?
Fred Willard? Fred Willard? Yeah, right, But Fred Willard seems like
a lunatic and Martin Moll seems like a down to earth, sort of sane
person, but both give off this vibe of comfort that like a human beanbag
chairs. One of the other differences is I get the sense from Fred Willard,
and this was born out if you listen to the commentary for This is
Spinal Tap, you get the sense that they all love Fred Willard, but
he can be exhausting. Fred Willard was never not on with a line or
a joke or something funny. But with Martin Mull there's kind of a sensitivity
behind all of that. I don't get the sense that he was so NonStop,
always had the spotlight on him. There was something behind that sensitivity and
a thoughtfulness. A thoughtfulness and a sensitivity that I always picked up on.
And maybe it's because I know him best from roles that kind of tapped into
that FM isn't a great movie, but he's very good in it. My
Bodyguard is one of my favorites from that time, and he's very down to
earth as Clifford's father. The seventies kind of embraced the sensitive guy in the
form of Alan Aldo, but really it should have been Martin Maull. What
is kind of interesting about this particular role is he is supposed to be the
stereotypical smarmy Hollywood type exactly. It would be easy to make this caricature of
the slimy Hollywood guy. But even in roles where his character is outwardly villainous,
like mister Mom, he's the antagonist in that. But even under the
idea that he's trying to spirit away Terry Gar from Batman, you still get
a sense that he's a decent human being somewhere inside. Through the course of
this episode, I don't get the sense that he does doesn't care about these
characters. I get the sense that he actually is sort of a nice guy,
a down to earth individual, even as he's trying to get this movie
off the ground and doing what he has to do. But there's something in
Martin Mull and the way he plays it. I don't think it's in the
writing. I think it's in how he plays it. It kind of twists
it a little bit, and I like that about this It's one of the
things I like best about this episode. Roger Chapman comes in and he introduces
himself to Louie, saying that he spoke with Louie's boss, mister McKenzie.
Now here's my side note. I wrote this down background actor alert. Now
you're talking about there's no one there who kind of made an impression on you.
This guy made an impression on me. Did you notice as Roger Chapman
and Louie are having their initial greeting and discussion, did you look there's a
guy behind them, furtively reading the newspaper. And he has this blue T
shirt on that has a sun right in the middle of it, and jeans
with these extra pop gets down the sides of them. He the front of
his shirt looked almost like something that Captain Marvel would wear, like a superhero.
Right. There's something about the way he's furtively, like I said,
reading the paper. He was supposed to be. He came in with Martin
Mull he's supposed to be like the DP or something. Do you think don't
I thought he was supposed to be a cab driver. Oh no, no,
no. When Martin Mull walks in, he walks in with the girl
and two guys. One is the assistant with the permanent hair helmet and his
glasses jabbed into it, and he's he's always in sweaters. That guy,
I love that, And this guy, the slovenly creative type. No,
no, no, there's a woman with them, this woman, Leah.
I said there was a woman with him. There's the fucking guy with the
hair helmet, and then there's this other guy, this slovenly creative type.
That it's far them. Man, I must have missed that they walked in
together, because I just assumed this was just a raggedy cab driver standing in
the background, when I would not have said there were no interesting background players
earlier. Fair enough, fair enough. Chapman has Louis introduce him to the
rest of the Cabby's, and in typical Louis fashion, he just yells at
all the caves just loosen up, and as Chapman starts to address the Cabby's,
he does this weird thing. You know, we always get on Tony's
case for him sitting on the cab spreading himself out like this alpha male,
tough guy Tony. But what Chapman does, and maybe this is part of
what endears him to me, he does the anti Tony where he squats behind
the poker table. His chin is mere inches away from the table top,
so all the Cabby's have to look down on him. He's not making eye
contact. They're looking down on him because he's so low to the ground.
Did you notice that? Oh? Yeah, because Martin molts smart, he
knows how to control that scene. In a sense, it's a way for
this character to take the intimidation away from him being in this garage. He
makes himself smaller than everybody else so that they feel they don't feel diminished by
this big time Hollywood guy coming in to talk to them. I thought that
was kind of cool, but it's weird though. The way he squats way
down is still weird. Chapman stresses to the cab he's that they're looking for
real reality, not Hollywood reality. He emphasizes that he wants to blend in
as much as possible and not stick out as people making a movie, and
he asks them, do you have any questions about this? Of course,
Tony the simpleton raises his hand like he's in class, like Orshack in class,
like oh oh, oh, did you note? What question was?
How did they part the Red Sea in the Ten Commandments? Right? And
you know, okay, look, that's a cringe worthy thing for somebody to
ask. But is it in nineteen seventy nine? I mean, obviously Martin
ull is saying do you have any questions about this thing? Right? But
how often would did a normal person get in contact with anyone from Hollywood right
at that time? And remember no Internet and there wasn't there was barely an
entertainment Tonight on television covering how movies were made and stuff. It's a valid
question. I'm signing with Bat on this one. I think you're giving him
way too much credit. And I think this is echoed by the fact that
Bobby angrily sneers at him in another display of aggression and casual cruelty. He
says to him, what's wrong with you at Tony, which I think echoes
everybody's opinion of Tony? But what is wrong with him? Because that's that's
the dumbest question you could ask in a bid to ingratiate himself to the garage
smartly, by the way, Chapman offers to get the whole garage breakfast.
I mean, who's not going to jump at that? Right? They're so
used to going to Marios and eating that swill over there. Well, yeah,
we're going to hear a lot about how poor Marios food is in this
penultimate episode of season one. Like HP, I've been pulling for Marios.
You've been pulled Marios. We've been joking about their breakfast buffet, but we
you know, we would eat there, And now suddenly Hollywood comes a creep
in. We're going to get a peek behind the curtain of Marios. Shortly
again, he asks the Cabby's what they would want for breakfast, and Bobby
leads the charge by reluctantly offering a coffee, and Tony follows up with about
donuts, and Chapman replies to him, look, you can have anything you
want anything. He's like Willy Wonka in there. He's like, you can
have whatever you want. What do you guys want? Again, Tony,
being the simpleton that he is, counters, uh, Joey donuts. Look,
those are fancy HP. Come on, they're hammering on this the simple
aspect of Tony a lot already in this episode. I think that's because the
Charles know that that Tony is an idiot. Someone apparently important named Michael ambles
nervously into the garage, and Chapman introduces him as Michael Petrizi. Oh right,
it's our al Pacino proxy. I wrote that down. I said he's
very Puccino esque. Once again, Tony the Simpleton can't help embarrassing Bobby by
exclaiming to Petrizi that, hey, Bobby wants to be an actor too.
Oh my god, this look. I was on Banta's side very recently,
but this is unforgivable. Imagine it's like your mom doing it, you know,
it's like but it is somehow worse than your mom doing it because it's
out of the mouth of a moron like this Paccino clone. Had it been
Wheeler's mother would have he could have gone like, oh, it's his mom.
That's really sweet, Like my mom would have done the same thing.
But when it's this Peluca who's just like yo, he wants to be an
actor, Maybe you can make him an act, like you said, it's
like your mom embarrassing you in front of all your friends. Chapman starts to
break down the situation for the Caves. He says, they have a script.
It's not a particularly good one. It's got no guts, you see,
it's got no soul. And as he's mulling over the situation, Chapman
is pacing the length of the garage. But the weird thing is all of
these Cabby extras are matching his pace. So what you have it's almost like
something out of a Broadway show where they're all in lockstep, pacing back and
forth, except for Captain Marvel, who's kind of on his own, out
of step with everybody else, which I guess lends credence to your assertion that
he's some weird Hollywood creative type that doesn't really know what he's supposed to be
doing. He doesn't care where Martin Mall is right now, he's looking at
the fucking garage. Chapman describes the main character of their script. His name
is Joe, and he says, Joe is a he's a good driver,
he's been at it for some time, and that's all they have. The
rest he says, is gonna have to come from all of the stories the
Caves share with them, and maybe one of their stories, he wonders aloud,
is Joe's story. And obviously at this point this is a little predictable.
We know who the ideal Joe character is gonna be. This is a
like I said, this story predictable. It's gonna be our lifer Cavey,
It's gonna be Alex's story. Ironically, ironically, Alex, who is a
dead set against this whole process, do you think he'll be won over by
Chapman's charms or by the end of the I will be shocked if that's This
plot goes this way, almost like clockwork. Bobby then asserts that they should
talk to Alex because he's got the best stories, and Chapman asks, well,
where where is he? And Bobby now here. This is a great,
great shot. I don't know if you, I assume you noticed this.
I certainly took note of it. As Bobby points him out, we
get this great crafted shot where Reager is sitting grumpily in the four while the
entire rest of the cast is in the background just above him. This wonderfully
composed shot which really sells the notion that Alex is almost self isolating from the
rest of the group because he's sitting by the coffee machine. He wants nothing
to do with this. Chapman walks over to Alex and introduces himself and asks
if they can talk, and after some patented, smarmy yet endearing humor from
Martin mull there's this funny line where Alex he's trying to let him off,
so he says, look, I don't know you, but I think you're
a decent man, and then Martin maull says, you don't know me,
and the line. It's interesting. I don't know if you noticed that the
reaction that the audience gave it, because there's this ripple of laughter that continues
for longer than you'd think, because it's almost like people it had the sleeper
effect. People heard him say the line and then after the fact realized how
funny it was because he delivers it really well. And I think he even
sells it with a little He says at the end, that's just a little
joke, but it's so endearing. Yeah, and it's a warning. That's
the wonderful thing. It's really not a joke. He's saying, I'm actually
not a good person at all, but he's delivered it in such a charming
way, and like you said, it does have that nice rippling out effect
in the audience. It's almost like it's a little disarming for people. The
way that Martin mull is playing this character, it's really a wonder to observe.
Alex asks if they can just count him out of this. He doesn't
want to, he doesn't want to be part of this. Bobby is protesting,
like they just want to ask you a few questions, and Alex his
reply is, look, I'm a cabby if you want to go somewhere else.
It's an echo of his speech at the very beginning of the series where
he says I'm just a cabby. He says if you want to, I'll
take you somewhere. If you want to go somewhere. But there's a reason
why a private life is private. And if Alex says, if I talk
about it, then it won't be private anymore, and he tries to politely
walk away. At that point, Chapman calls his assistant over the one with
a hair helmet and says, that's our jib. He knows that Alex would
be perfect, his stories would be perfect for this character. Are you're not
going to mention Nardo and Russ slacks with an open collar shirt and a useless
tie. She's worn that outfit before. Yeah, well, anyway, it's
wonderful and I'm just throwing it out there. Okay, move on on that
same subject. We fade out, we fade back in. No, mm
hmmm, this is real bad with what we're talking about. In this next
thing. We fade in and Elaine is basically escorting Chapman back into the garage.
Did they have sex? Let's just get to it. We're getting to
that. I've got all kinds of stuff here in my notes. Thank you,
It's like, thank you for a wonderful morning. Well, we'll get
to that. You're you're going to We're getting to it right now. Have
sex or not? I that's it's up to interpretation. They had sex,
Come on, man, thank you for a wonderful morning. What were they
doing having tea? They had breakfast, she says. She says, thank
you for breakfast. Breakfast. Let's do this in order. We have to
do this in order, because it all fits together. Trust me on this.
When she walks in, let's talk about First of all, you were
talking about the outfit she was just wearing. This is clearly the next day,
she's wearing a red on red blouse and pants combo that makes her look
like a fanciful, sexy version of the devil. It's the weirdest outfit I've
ever seen her wear. Did you notice that? Did I notice it?
I wrote arg? I wrote that word, and then in all caps,
I scrawled nardo and red makes me see red? You were a fan?
I did not like this outfit. On top of which, I'm left with
the ambiguity if she just potentially fucked Martin mull. She thanks Chapman for breakfast,
and he in turn thanks her for sharing her stories with him. What
follows is this very tonally odd moment where Chapman says to her, anyone ever
told you you look like a young Lana Turner And he even puts his hand
under her chin to hold up her her face, and she says, well
no, and he replies it's because you don't, which is weird. It's
I think that's exactly what he's doing. He's Hollywood negging her. He kind
of is. He's invoking a goddess right and saying, but you're not her,
but you are very attract These are his exact words. I had a
wonderful, wonderful morning. There you go. They hold this uncomfortable glance between
the two of them, one or two beats too long. They just stand
there. Look you're saying it's uncomfortable. They seem comfortable. It was very
disarming. Not in a good way. It felt uncomfortable. No, see,
I was into that. I'm like, wow, yeah, you go,
Nardo that part. I was fine with the red outfit. On Jesus,
did he buy her that outfit? Maybe that's part of Roger Chapman's thing.
He's got a thing for devil girls. You know. He never got
over Anne Margaret in the sixties. What was that movie that they made the
remake of? Was it a Bedazzle? Yes? With was it Peter Boyle
the original and Dudley Moore was But who was the lady? I don't remember.
I know it was Lin Hurley. No, it was Liz Hurley in
the remake, but I don't remember who it was in the original. Are
they trying to recreate the Anne Margaret from Tommy look On Nardo here. Look,
I didn't have his extreme a response to the outfit as you did,
but I did recognize that because it's not one shade of red, it's like
a lighter shade and a darker It just looked odd. It wasn't in line
with what she normally wears, like a fire truck. Yeah, kind of.
After they have this weird moment together, they walk into the garage.
Tony's at the poker table and he's talking about an upcoming prize fight. When's
the last time you heard a boxing match described as a prize fight. That's
fine, come on, they're really selling the poluca aspect at this time,
and he likes prize fighting. I'd call it prize fighting if I could.
I want to pretend I'm James Elroy and you know, hey, it's the
nineteen forties, everybody. That's exactly it. It's like something out of a
dime store pulp novel. Chapman asks him if he's got tickets, and Tony
scoffs that crazy, I don't have tickets. Not only does Chapman dispatch his
assistant Leah to get ringside seats, but he arranges for the two of them
to go together. I think he says like, well, you know,
Leah is kind of a fight fan. Why don't you take her? Hey,
I'm also a pimp. Did you know that, Tony, hold on
one second? Take her? You'd like that right on paper, that's exactly
what he's doing. But again, Martin mull has this way of being slimy
without really being slimy in this it's really a wonder to behold. God damn
Hollywood phonies. So they get their way special mention of the come hither eyebrows
raised that Leah sends Tony's way. Did you notice that? Yeah? Who
can blame her? She says, I'll arrange it, and she goes,
whooooo like this little come hither thing? Uh huh, they're going, if
you know what I mean, They're gonna watch the submarine races on the circle.
So the food arrives at this point, and it's a spectacular spread.
It looks oh yeah, we get Jeff's second line of the episode. We
know it's fancy because we hear Jeff stipulate I got the eggs benedict, which
I think is a fantastic choice. Hmmm, I want some now that's my
go to so while the rest of the garage ambles over to start stuffing their
faces, Burns insists to Chapman that he has a great story. It's awful.
That's the punchline to this. I'm not going to bore you with the
details. Oh yeah, you don't have to. You don't have to recount
it. Burns tell us a boring story. Chapman is clearly not amused.
But to his credit, again, we've seen this guy handle the garage with
incredible finet, and he knows exactly how to deal with a child like Burns
and handle a rube, and his stories almost like talking to a child.
He asks if he has any more stories like that, and Burns replies,
well, they're not all as good as that, and believe me when I
tell you it's a terrible story. And Chapman cuts them off and says,
all right, here's what he should do, John, I want you to
write all these stories down all he wants. I wants you to collect them,
and when they're ready, you give them to me, and I will
give them the attention they deserve and quickly too, which we know means they're
going to get filed in the circular file. Never to be read, which
I think is great. But then on the CS for Chicken Shed, you
know what happened here at HP is John collected all of those stories, he
wrote them all down, and he turned him into the pilot for the Big
Bang Theory. And they lived happily ever after, and now Burns is a
multi billionaire. That's enough for Burns and he leaves happy. I mean,
once again, Chapman has worked his charms on the group. I mean,
look, these are New York cabvis. They're supposed to be street wise and
tough, but he's got them wrapped around his finger. It's amazing. Chapman
goes over to talk to Louis, who's holding a pastry that's seriously as big
as his head. It's a cinnamon loaf. It's like, you know how
you go to a pastry at good place, a bakery I guess they call
those. You can get a tray of cinnamon rolls and you just cut one
each, well if you didn't cut any of them, and then you put
a pound of confection or sugar on top of it. That's what Louis is
holding. He picks it up and it's almost as if they caught Danny DeVito
in mid bite because he mumbles and you hear some scattered laughter in the audience.
It's almost as if you're witnessing a blooper that they just kind of go
with. He almost has a look on his face like he's going to break
and laugh at the whole thing, but they soldier forth. Chapman asks him
if the rumors of dispatchers shaking down drivers for money is true, and de
Palma simply replied, what's it worth to you, which gives Chapman his answer
in typical Louis fashion, and he kind of nods and goes away. Tony
yells over to Alex if he wants pigs in a blanket, which we all
know is the quintessential child's breakfast, totally appropriate for Tony to be eating this.
Alex curtly replies that he's going to go over to Marios, and when
he asks any if they want to come, he gets a lot of mouths
half full, saying you're crazy. Now I wrote this down. Here's a
vaudeville alert, and this is what you were alluding to earlier. Oh yeah,
oh, this is a Charles Brothers villa. So one of the one
of the Cabby's says, the food at Marios is terrible compared to this,
and he goes on to say that they use horse meat for hamburgers. Alex
replies, you're crazy, but the cabby replies, take my word for it.
Way we know where this is going. I'm cook at Marios. Okay,
here's what saves at HP. Yeah. That actor playing cook for Marios
is so fucking fascinating looking. I'm sort of mad that they didn't just make
him a cavey. I recognized him. I didn't know what, but I
did recognize him. He's an actor by the name of Rick KHALIDI did you
recognize him by any chance? I did not. The weird part is the
thing I remembered him from. I looked at his He's passed away, unfortunately.
I think he died about thirteen years ago. The thing that I remember
him best from is he was in the movie Crocodile Dundee. He was this
character named Danny. I think he was one of the New Yorkers that befriends
Nick Dundee when he comes to New York. He's wearing like this bike messenger
hate Did I say? What did I say? You? Said Rick,
Oh, Mick Dundee. Sorry, Yeah, he's one of the New Yorkers
that befriends Nick Dunde. I said again, Nick, I said, Nick,
I meant Mick Mick Dundee. Anyway. Uh, he's got a very
distinctive face. He seems like he's got a story to tell. But and
I agree, it's sort of unfortunate that this is all we see of him,
because he looked he just came off so intriguing to me, you know
what, hb You know what. It reminds me now that this might be
the only thing missing from the series, even with Reverend Jimmy Natowski, is
they don't have a sinister character, like they have a pain in the ass
character in Luis to Palmer, but they don't have anyone who's kind of a
threat. There's no Carvelly on tag. We're talking about Carvelly from Welcome Back
Carter, which deserves its own podcast. But I remember he had a poem
Carvelli did on Welcome Back Carter where he said, my name is Carvelly,
I live in New York. I'm so meant and nasty A fork Yeah,
yeah know. He's Charles Fleischer, better known as the voice of Roger.
But anyway, that's our Charles fleischert appreciation moment. But I agree, there's
no character that has an edge to them in that way. Somebody that maybe
you're not sure what their motivations are, maybe they're an antagonist in a way
that Louis, because Louis has a soft core. We learned this about Louis.
Remember on Cheers they had John Hill upstairs. He'd come down from the
restaurant, Sam, Remember that guy, great villain. Look, Louis is
a is not a nice guy a lot of the time, but he does
have a soft tender side, whereas Carvelli had no softness about him whatsoever.
And I'm sure this cook from Marios, maybe you know, had some qualities
like that, but we'll never know because we never see him again. Chapman
keeps trying to push Alex to talk to him, but Alex is he won't
budge. Chapman pesters Alex so much that Alex finally says, I don't have
to take this. We get a union and there are rules. Oh my
god, here we go, and he loudly asks for the shops Stewart,
but nobody knows who the Shop Stewart is this is a useless bit of comedy.
This dragged the whole episode down. See I disagree. This is my
favorite part of the episode. Are they showing Alex the futility of his job
here? Is that the point? Yes, the bureaucracy that goes nowhere?
I love the name, so they look up that. Louis looks talking myself
into liking it. Never mind I did. Louis looks up the shop Stewart
and it's somebody named Ben Gerretsky. That sounds like such a real, genuine
name, but it's so funny to me for some reason, because they keep
yelling it's a friend of the writers or something probably, but it sounds like
a Cabby name. So Ben Gerretsky has been dead for two years, so
nobody knows who's going to be the shop Stewards. So they elact the Alex,
but he doesn't want to do it and they can't force him to do
it. So what ends up happening is they really liked Ben Gerretsky and then
everything just goes back to normal. So, because the futility of life as
a Cabby is just too overwhelming, Alex breaks down and says Okay, I'll
tell you all my stories, kid. So it softens Alex up and he
actually smiles after watching this ridiculous display about Ben Geretzky, and he agrees finally
to talk to Chapman. We fade out, presumably for commercial. We come
back and this is the next day, and the garage has another amazing meal
spread in front of everybody, and one of the cabbys even proclaims, this
is the best pete we've had all week. You know that they've been eating
high off the hog all week. That guy is huge, by the way.
He's the only extra who actually stood out to me, and that's because
he seemed like he was nine feet tall. He was towering over everybody else.
Tony strolls in and he's got his new squeeze, Leah, the assistant
that he went to the fights with, and they're very cozy, and Alex
also strides in. Alex hays a little pep in his step cocaine. Roger
Chapman, that's what you're talking about. We've already seen his proclivity for the
uppers. Alex and Roger out all night fucking doing blow talking about the veracity
of taxi driver. He admits that he's told Chapman stories that he hadn't thought
of in years, and Elaine asks they're going to use them, and Alex
says no, that Chapman doesn't think they were right for a movie. He
said they were more like television d meta textual baby do you Go, Choms
Brothers. What's interesting is that that joke should have gotten a big laugh because
it's the meta commentary on tax Nobody knows. There's just people watching a fucking
they're watching the first season of a show. They've probably never even seen the
show air yet. That's probably a good point. There is some laughter,
but it's very muted and very scattered, but Alex does admit to the cabbies
that despite all the fuss he made, it's actually been a lot of fun.
Louis says, I can see these other who's getting taken in by this
big Hollywood production, But Louis is surprised that Alex is getting taken into.
Louis is basically salty that they haven't offered him a dime for all of the
trouble that he's had with them all week, all the logistical issues and so
forth. He's right to feel that way he should have already asked for money.
Chapman strolls in and he tells the cabbys they've got to go back to
Hollywood tomorrow, but he invites them all to his suite at the Plaza for
a party Plaza. He calls Louis over to tell him that he spoke with
mister McKenzie, and McKenzie agreed to let the film crew shoot some scenes in
the garage and use all the cabbys as extras. And he even says that
Bobby will have a part in the film. And I can see by your
face what's happening is this episode has become kind of an aspirational Oh my god,
that's exactly what I've written here, HP I wrote, is this the
aspirational episode because everyone could make it out of the garage simply by being themselves.
They fucking the Charles Brothers sneak attacked us with an aspirational episode. They
got it into the third act. I'm very impressed. I can't be mad
at the fact that they've snuck it, snug it into the snugg it in
here. It is interesting, but it's so predictable. I mean, we
already know. I mean I've not even a taxi fan could see what's going
to happen a mile away. Bobby is all excited about his part in the
film. He jumps up, he's happy. Now. It's all contingent on
Louie agreeing to let them shoot in the garage. And at this point Louie
becomes smug. Louie he has this look on his face like, ah,
I have you exactly where I want you now, and he slides over and
makes a big show of the power that he's now lording over the production of
the film. Louie says, no, you can't have it. You can't
have the garage because of all the disruption that's happening. Chapman correctly plays on
Louie's greed. They have an impromptu negotiation down by one of the stack tables.
Chapman says that Louis will be a location coordinator and will be paid fifteen
thousand dollars. Louis has this look on his face like and he says,
that's not really the figure that I had in mind, but sure you got
a deal. And then Chapman leaves and Alex comes over and says, what
figure did he have in mind? Louis, do you remember what he said?
It was like two hundred and fifty bucks or something. No, no,
it wasn't even he's it was a gleeful Louis admits he was going to
ask for twenty five dollars before Louis literally leaps into Alex's Oh yeah, that's
impressive, Like you know, any of the physical comedy between Rieger and Louis
de Palma and up being a site to behold. Everything is looking up for
all the cavvies. Everyone's getting out of the ghetto. The only thing that
would have made this even worse is at the end of the episode if in
a shock Louis wakes up and it's all a dream that he had, that
all of this stuff. Maybe, Oh my god, I'm sorry with the
Mosquitos and we just can't have the competition. We're going to have to leave
you here on the island. Everyone in Sunshine Cat the Mosquitoes was that you
need us? Was that the song? That's right? You need us?
What would the Honeybees? Was that the that was? That was all the
women on the island. That was missus howell for those of you under the
age of one thousand, we're talking about Giving Island. That's right. I
don't know anyone who's under the age of fifty who's listening to this podcast anyway.
So at this point we cut to the Plaza Suite, the parties in
full swing, and I gotta say it, actually, the set decoration worked.
It Actually, to me, it felt like a big, swanky hotel.
You can see the skyline and the windows. I thought it worked pretty
well. What did you think? I disagree. I was unimpressed with the
hotel. What didn't you like? I don't know. It lacked a certain
Hollywood bizazz. Okay, it just seemed, you know what, when Elaine
had had her chafing dish dinner and had all of the weirdos from the art
scene over to her place, that place had much more character than this Plaza
suite. I just thought it felt spacious and it felt a little bit gaudy,
and that's what I liked about it. And it was a skyline.
It was big skylin. So what chandelier for those of you under the age
of the thousand, I just made a reference to a commercial from the nineteen
seventies. But my book series, I just told the cab driver I just
got back from Vietnam, and he was like, so what so what that
was? That was the Time Life series on Vietnam. Yes, we're having
a lot of fun here. Bapan is at the party and he toasts their
future success and everything is looking up. What could go wrong? Tony's got
a new girlfriend. Everybody's getting exactly what they want, And just at that
moment, the phone rings and Chapman's assistant announces a call from somebody named Peter
Koppelman. Apparently there was a shakeup at the studio and there's a new head
studio. He makes reference to every studio. I don't know which one.
He'say, it's Paramount, because Paramount is produced. Of course Paramount. There's
a new studio head. And then that studio, hey got replaced by this
one. So all the studio heads have now been replaced. But the project
was set up at Paramount. During the conversation, when when Chapman takes the
call, it becomes clear that, as as often happens, when a new
head of the studio comes, well, you know better than me because you've
you're privy to these kinds of things. Father alone that what's the first thing
that the new head of the studio does when they come in Coleen House,
Baby, we don't want any of this fucking loser who got fired. We
don't want shit lingering around. I don't want to take credit or the blame
for any of his failures or successes. Exactly, That's exactly what happens here.
Chapman goes from being very smartily congratulatory to essentially begging for him not to
cancel the cab the taxi project'sp I've got a hot tank here, studio
news. Studio heads shouldn't do that. You should appraise every project based on
its own merits. I know that's wild talk, but it needs to be
said. I could not agree more because it they're doing it for exactly the
reasons you cited, which is they don't want to be attached to something they
feel as a loser project. They don't want the taint to rub off on
them. But honestly, like how many good projects are canceled or shuffled around
for no good reason, ones that would have merit and would be successful.
It doesn't all mention one. Can I mention one that was part of our
childhood? Remember the movie Explorers? The Joe Dante movie. Of course,
there's an entire third act of that movie that just didn't get filmed because there
was a studio change, like a studio head change, and when they looked
at the footage, they were like, well, you can just end it
here, and that was it, and they said you can't film anymore.
Like there was a whole passage of that movie where those kids are back on
Earth that didn't get filmed. We didn't get the end of that movie.
It does end rather abruptly, but I didn't know that there was this backstory
to it. I'll have to watch it again with that understanding. It wasn't
even shot, It just didn't film itn No, there are some scenes that
were from that portion that had been filmed prior to it. But evidently there's
this entire act that takes place back on Earth amongst the kids again that that
was supposed to pay off the entire movie. It's really kind of a vanity
move when these heads of the studio come in and, as you say,
clear House, we have no way of knowing if this taxi movie was going
to be any good. No, it was going to be terrible. It
was going to be awful. But that might be the most true to life
thing in this whole episode, the fact that this happens so abruptly and kills
the project just as it's taking off. One thing I did like about this
was that in his sort of begging this head of the studio, he Chapman
goes as far as putting Alex on the phone to tell him the story of
the time he got Patinkend in his cab when the baby was born in the
cabin, which we saw in the Memories of Caveat four episode. But Alex
doesn't get very far. You should have put Patinkin on the phone. He
could have sold it. Louis then gets on the phone and tries reasoning with
Koppleman, but it's no good. Listen, Koppleman, you ain't canceling this
movie. It's more desperate than that. But everybody files out like a funeral
out of the suite except for Louis and Alex, and Koppleman eventually hangs up
on Louis. Alex tries to comfort Louis for his lost fifteen grand and he
insists that Louie needs to leave with his head held high. He's going to
have more class than that and Louis reluctantly agrees, but he says, I
have to go to the bathroom first, and he goes into the bathroom and
he's saying this thing about how you're thinking of We all know where this is
going, We know where this is going. Eventually, Louis emerges with an
armful of towels and toilet paper that he's going to steal. The toilet paper
was a nice touch, but I was disappointed he wasn't wearing a Plaza robe.
That would have been perfect, way too big for him robe like when
he's the penguin. That would have been more humorous. It would have been
a funnier tag to the whole episode. You know, HBI, I didn't
mention this earlier, but this episode started with one of the most fantastic b
roll shots of all time. But then here when we got to the Plaza,
they gave us this b roll of some fucking random cab that was definitely
not a checkered cab pulling up in front of a hotel, as if that's
one of the taxi cabs. Taxi taxicabs pulling up Shame on them, don't
do that. But that's it. We don't even get a bumper to this
episode. That's the end. They both file out of the hotel, and
that's the end of the episode. Should have been the last episode of the
season. I think, as we do, let's talk yellow lights. What
does a yellow light mean? As a reminder, we're grading this on a
score from one to five yellow lights. Five yellow lights is the quintessential perfect
taxi episode, and one yellow light means if I never see this again,
I won't be upset. So as we do, let's start with you,
father alone, what do you give Hollywood calling HPA. I'm going to quandary
about this episode me too. The number of lights for this episode currently eludes
me. Going to I'm going to defer to you. Please you take the
lead on. Okay, I was really prepared to give this two yellow lights,
but I'm not going to give it two yellow lights. I'm we have
to be better than this, Father alone, I'm giving this episode one yellow
light, and I'll tell you why. It was an unrealistic plot in which
the cabbys themselves have almost nothing to do. In my estimation watching this back,
the cabbies are literally bit players in their own show. They don't do
anything. All they're doing is reacting to the machinations of Roger Chapman. To
see them reduced to bit players in their own show. That's really once I
had that epiphany, that's what sealed the deal for me. Now, there
are some redeeming features to this episode. Divido has some funny moments, and
as I said before, the union bit with Ben Geretzky was really good.
But honestly, the episode itself was pretty much as inessential as they come,
and it's a real missed opportunity to make a solid sort of meta commentary on
the actual shows Genesis, especially in light of the fact that there was a
lot of criticism levied at this show at the time from actual cab drivers who
thought it was too sanitized, that it wasn't gritty enough. So for those
reasons, I'm giving this episode one yellow light. Okay, I agree with
everything you just said. None of the characters have any agency in the episode.
They're just ping ponging based on these outside forces that have invaded the cab
company, right, But to me, that's every aspirational episode, So I
don't really see that as too much of a drawback, except we just get
it en mass here. The only non casualty of this, of this Hollywood
intervention is latka. I agree with that. Sheeez, one yellow light.
Man. See, I was waffling between two and three, and now I
can't possibly well, I'm not going to give it. I'm not going to
give it a three because it's not worth that, because it does indulge in
some of the more distasteful mannerisms of the Charles Brothers writing the setting that joke
up and knocking it down. You know I'm gonna go too. I'm gonna
say two yellow lights on this one. Jeez? What are your other criticisms
that? The big thing was what you just reiterated, which is the Cabby's
have nothing there. They're just they're basically bit players and there on the show.
But again, that's every aspirational episode. I disagree with that general point,
but it felt more acute in this case because it's not just aspirational for
one Cabby, it's aspirational across the entire garage. I can't fault you for
giving it two yellow lights, because, like I said, that was what
I was leaning towards. But the more I think about it, the more
I couldn't in good conscience give it too, because that just that means it's
just slightly below average, and I think it's worse than that. Well,
look, I couldn't possibly give this one one. I'll definitely give it too.
I'm tempted to give it three, just because when Narda returns, she
does it in browns and blues and it was like a cooling balmb. But
yeah, I don't know if that's enough to justify a third Yello light.
It would have had to have been a really fantastic outfit and not just an
interesting outfit. I like the cook for Marios. I'm sorry we're not going
to see him again. He maybe deserves We don't do half lights, okay,
it's two light two yellow lights. HP. The only thing that I
waffle on is other one yellow lights. I think one of the Burns episodes,
I think we both agreed was one yellow light. You'll know different out
of your fucking mind, by the way, I'm not. I'm not because
but here's my reasoning is, here's why I'm still a little bit uncomfortable even
giving it. That is because a one yellow light typically means that if it
comes on TV, I won't even watch it. It's so distasteful. You
would watch this episode, I wouldn't love it, but I would leave it
on in the background like the fish tank. But I'm still I'm sticking to
me. I ask you, this is Martin Mall. His presence alone.
Is that not worth one yellow light? Martin Mall, who can turn an
yes, I really am a scumbag line into a ah what a sweetee.
That's the best point you've made so far. Maybe I didn't take that into
proper account. I'm still gonna stick with the one. I feel bad because,
excuse me, I'm amending mine. I am now going to three yellow
lights. Three yellow lights everyone, Martin Mall. I've talked myself into Martin
Mall meriting his own yellow light. He's fucking great here. He would have
fit in here at the end of the day. This is the Martin Mull
Show, this is taxi, and I want to see my favorite Cabby's doing
what they do. It was just lacking in that department. So I'm I
hear what you're saying, and I don't disagree with pretty much everything you're saying.
I just I can't in good conscience go back and say this is a
two or three young one. Look I don't want to die on this hill
or anything. But I'm gonna I'm going to here we go talking about the
agency episode. This isn't even an aspiration episode. We're going to talk about
Angela. Okay, who has agency in the Angela episode? Alex does,
of course, No he doesn't. No, no, no, Look,
this isn't all reaction. It's all reaction to Angela. Right, No,
no, no, it's not. And that is a terrible character and the
actress is annoying. And that episode, what did do you give it?
One yellow light? No? I gave it. I gave it three alites.
I gave it three because because Alex is decent, Alex has agency.
He could have walked away at any time, and he doesn't. He chooses
to go back to Angelo's apartment and hash things out. So no, I
all, look, the agency here was are we going to be seduced by
this Hollywood phony? And they all failed. I'm going to use your words
against you, my friend. Uh oh, you're where I refute everything you've
just said about Angela. But this is not about Angela. This is about
this is about Hollywood calling. I'm sticking with one yellow light, all right?
Three is fair I just didn't feel it in my gut that it deserved
it very well. That will do it for this episode of Night Mister Walters.
Follow them alone. When you are not clocked into the garage, Where
can the fine folks find you? Check me out over at Weirdingwaymedia dot com.
You can hear my podcast Dark Destinations, it's a radio drama that I
write and produce. Or you can hear me on Midnight Viewing, the Horror
Anthology podcast where we take a look at horror anthology television series. We are
wrapping up Night Gallery and then just a few weeks we're going to begin tackling
tales from the dark Side. As for myself, you can find me in
many of the same corners of the Internet. I'm also on the weirding Way
network. And you can also hear me on Noise Junkies, which is a
music podcast that Father Malone and myself do with Mondo Heather's Heather Drain. And
you can also hear some of my limited acting and some of my music on
the Dark Destinations podcast that Father Malone mentioned. I would encourage anyone who loves
good storytelling, good audio drama to check that out. Also I have a
band camp site for some of my musical nonsense. It's hpmusicplace dot bandcamp dot
com. Please check that out if you are so inclined, Oh so a
Patreon It's a patreon dot com slash father alone. Give me money, absolutely,
give them money and lots of it. If you like what you hear,
please feel free to subscribe to the podcast, write a review, rate
us. We would love to hear from you in any manner you choose.
So for tonight, mister Walters, myself and father Malone thank you again for
listening, and we'll see you next time. Nie, mister Walters