WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.080 --> 00:00:04.440 Welcome to Hacking Your Leadership. I'm Chris and I'm Lorenzo. And Lorenzo on 2 00:00:04.480 --> 00:00:09.199 this episode, I want to talk about coaching. I cannot wait to talk 3 00:00:09.240 --> 00:00:15.439 about coaching. We've talked about coaching before, and I think I'm seeing a 4 00:00:15.480 --> 00:00:22.920 lot more emphasis on coaching as it relates to the importance of figuring out whether 5 00:00:23.000 --> 00:00:27.280 a person is going to succeed or fail as a leader. And what I 6 00:00:27.280 --> 00:00:30.480 mean by that is that we've been talking about coaching for a long time, 7 00:00:30.519 --> 00:00:35.439 and we've had full episodes on just how to be a better coach to people. 8 00:00:36.640 --> 00:00:42.960 I'm seeing a lot of organizations start to understand the importance of that, 9 00:00:43.079 --> 00:00:47.479 like they've they've used the word for a long time, but it's like a 10 00:00:47.520 --> 00:00:50.079 catch all term that means a lot of different things to a lot of different 11 00:00:50.079 --> 00:00:55.280 people, and a lot of organizations are moving into this kind of mindset where 12 00:00:55.280 --> 00:01:00.640 they think, Okay, we need to have a formalized process around a term 13 00:01:00.799 --> 00:01:03.920 whether or not a person is good at coaching, whether they are a coach, 14 00:01:04.519 --> 00:01:08.000 and and that will help us determine whether or they will be a successful 15 00:01:08.079 --> 00:01:11.799 leader when it comes to you know, hiring and promotion decisions and so I 16 00:01:11.799 --> 00:01:17.560 think it's a it's an interesting kind of development that I part of me is 17 00:01:17.599 --> 00:01:19.519 thinking, great, this is amazing. I love that companies are doing this. 18 00:01:19.640 --> 00:01:22.920 The other part of me is saying, well, duh, like, 19 00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:25.599 why where were you five years ago? Right? Yeah, No, I 20 00:01:25.599 --> 00:01:30.040 was gonna say it's it's it's not a new concept. And coaches have been 21 00:01:30.079 --> 00:01:34.159 around for a very long time in business, outside of business and sports and 22 00:01:34.200 --> 00:01:38.120 things like that. And so I think that what I've experienced as somebody who's 23 00:01:38.200 --> 00:01:42.079 you know, had leaders and mentors and things like that, is that, 24 00:01:42.439 --> 00:01:45.640 you know, some of the best leaders I've ever had have been phenomenal coaches. 25 00:01:45.760 --> 00:01:49.319 They they've really, you know, done a great job at inspiring, 26 00:01:49.480 --> 00:01:56.159 motivating, creating vision, you know, having expectations, accountability, you know, 27 00:01:56.200 --> 00:02:00.480 personal and team accountability. Like there's so many layers to being a great 28 00:02:00.519 --> 00:02:05.000 coach, and so much of it is in the leadership space as well. 29 00:02:05.319 --> 00:02:07.879 And so you know, to see that now this is something that's being called 30 00:02:07.879 --> 00:02:12.960 out, something that you have to be a good coach. I think on 31 00:02:13.159 --> 00:02:17.000 paper that makes a lot of sense. I think in reality, to understand 32 00:02:17.000 --> 00:02:20.199 what a good coach is, you have to have someone who can assess a 33 00:02:20.240 --> 00:02:23.360 coach, right, and so like that, now we start to peel this 34 00:02:23.400 --> 00:02:24.759 thing back to say, like, you can't just say someone's a good coach, 35 00:02:24.840 --> 00:02:30.960 because you know you've been told or maybe you've seen the greatest coaches have 36 00:02:31.039 --> 00:02:35.840 the greatest outcomes. And when I say outcomes, I don't just meet from 37 00:02:35.879 --> 00:02:39.719 a business standpoint. I see it from a leadership legacy standpoint. Show me 38 00:02:39.840 --> 00:02:43.639 a great coach, and I should easily be able to connect the dots on 39 00:02:43.719 --> 00:02:47.800 the leaders that have worked for them, and then have them have themselves become 40 00:02:47.879 --> 00:02:53.439 successful leaders and have been able to then also create better leaders. Like that, 41 00:02:53.520 --> 00:02:55.960 to me is the ultimate kind of thread to pull when it comes to 42 00:02:57.080 --> 00:03:00.280 leadership coaching for me, right, and to pull words directly from your mouth 43 00:03:00.280 --> 00:03:05.360 that you've said many times before. You can talk about something in terms of 44 00:03:05.400 --> 00:03:08.240 being able to measure it or figure out how good somebody is at it, 45 00:03:08.319 --> 00:03:12.639 you have to define it first. You have to define what coaching or anything 46 00:03:12.840 --> 00:03:16.120 is. Otherwise you could be talking a different language than someone else and neither 47 00:03:16.159 --> 00:03:20.240 of you could be wrong. Right. It's just a matter of it's making 48 00:03:20.240 --> 00:03:23.960 sure that when you're having these conversations that everybody's on the same page for what 49 00:03:23.039 --> 00:03:28.039 this means. And so what this brings me to is an article that I 50 00:03:28.080 --> 00:03:34.800 saw on the Forbes Leadership Network around It's an article written by their Coaches Council, 51 00:03:35.319 --> 00:03:40.479 and these are people who are nationally recognized coaches, like actual formal coaches, 52 00:03:40.520 --> 00:03:46.639 and they've built businesses around being coaching, being coaches, coaching other people 53 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:52.639 and turning leaders into coaches themselves. And they have this list of things that 54 00:03:52.759 --> 00:03:55.159 they would this is advice that they would give their younger selves. So this 55 00:03:55.319 --> 00:04:00.599 is these are things that coaches know to their core to be true, and 56 00:04:00.800 --> 00:04:04.599 they may not have known those things to be true when they started out, 57 00:04:04.599 --> 00:04:09.719 and they wish they had. And a lot of these things are really good 58 00:04:10.199 --> 00:04:14.120 in terms of if you are trying to become a better coach, these these 59 00:04:14.120 --> 00:04:18.319 are absolutely things that you need to think about getting better at because this will 60 00:04:18.319 --> 00:04:23.079 make or break you as a coach as and then therefore as a leader as 61 00:04:23.120 --> 00:04:26.319 well. There's a lot of them on here, There's almost twenty of them, 62 00:04:26.319 --> 00:04:28.879 and so we're going to go over them on a few different episodes. 63 00:04:29.240 --> 00:04:31.560 I don't even know how long this is going to take to go through them, 64 00:04:31.759 --> 00:04:34.959 but there's some of these, you know, require maybe a minute or 65 00:04:35.000 --> 00:04:38.879 two of talking, but some of them require a lot of in depth kind 66 00:04:38.879 --> 00:04:41.199 of analysis, and I want to make sure we have time to do that 67 00:04:41.240 --> 00:04:46.199 because they're all really important pieces of information or pieces of advice that if you 68 00:04:46.279 --> 00:04:49.199 are trying to be a better leader, this is where you'd want to start. 69 00:04:49.279 --> 00:04:55.920 You want to start with becoming a better coach, because there are people 70 00:04:55.920 --> 00:05:00.240 who are good at coaching who aren't necessarily great leaders, but there are aren't 71 00:05:00.319 --> 00:05:03.480 any great leaders who don't know how to coach like it is is absolutely part 72 00:05:03.519 --> 00:05:10.279 of that thread of being an effective leader, and if you aren't good at 73 00:05:10.279 --> 00:05:14.199 coaching, you definitely will not be an effective leader, and your leadership crew 74 00:05:14.240 --> 00:05:19.000 will probably be stagnated or cut short. Of the many that are on here, 75 00:05:19.000 --> 00:05:23.560 the very first, one, really important place to start out is it 76 00:05:23.600 --> 00:05:28.199 talks about listening being a superpower. And I've had I've heard this term before. 77 00:05:28.480 --> 00:05:32.839 Listening is a superpower. The difference between a person who is listening to 78 00:05:32.879 --> 00:05:38.920 me in order to just make sure they're being respectful while they wait for their 79 00:05:38.959 --> 00:05:43.399 place to speak is very different from a person who I can tell is listening 80 00:05:43.399 --> 00:05:46.920 because they're actually trying to learn something, and they haven't even they don't even 81 00:05:46.959 --> 00:05:51.199 know what they're going to say yet because they haven't developed it in their mind, 82 00:05:51.279 --> 00:05:56.000 because they're just listening right now, and what they want to say isn't 83 00:05:56.439 --> 00:06:00.439 isn't already a baked pie, which it can't be because what I'm I'm saying 84 00:06:00.480 --> 00:06:03.319 to them should impact what they have to say next, and if it doesn't, 85 00:06:03.560 --> 00:06:05.639 then that means they weren't even listening to me to begin with. They 86 00:06:05.639 --> 00:06:08.959 were just waiting to kind of, you know, coach me up or or 87 00:06:09.240 --> 00:06:11.519 give me, you know, whatever they wanted to say. Yeah, it's 88 00:06:11.560 --> 00:06:13.480 such a great point, you know. It's I was talking to somebody about 89 00:06:13.480 --> 00:06:15.680 this the other week and it was kind of like are you listening but are 90 00:06:16.079 --> 00:06:18.600 or are you hearing? Or are you hearing? But are you listening? 91 00:06:18.600 --> 00:06:24.519 And we were having this conversation around this, and it's such a critical critical 92 00:06:24.519 --> 00:06:30.639 point here. It's like understanding And I when I think of listening, there's 93 00:06:30.680 --> 00:06:32.800 like the element of like listening to somebody in a conversation. But I also 94 00:06:32.839 --> 00:06:36.560 believe that, like when I say the term listening as talking about definition, 95 00:06:38.040 --> 00:06:41.800 I'm also like listening, Like I see that as observing as well, like 96 00:06:41.879 --> 00:06:45.759 listening to what your business is telling you, listening to what your customers might 97 00:06:45.800 --> 00:06:49.040 be telling you, listening to what your people are telling you through their behavior. 98 00:06:49.160 --> 00:06:54.319 So not the actual like literal term of like not just listening to what 99 00:06:54.360 --> 00:06:57.680 they're saying and taking that in and then and then understanding how you want to 100 00:06:57.720 --> 00:07:01.160 respond, but like, are you away of things that are going on? 101 00:07:01.240 --> 00:07:05.959 Are you are you listening and watching for the nuance and conversations? Are you 102 00:07:05.959 --> 00:07:13.800 seeing things when leaders may feel uncomfortable in a conversation or maybe second guessing themselves. 103 00:07:13.879 --> 00:07:16.079 You know, they they they want to say something to you, but 104 00:07:16.120 --> 00:07:18.800 the words aren't actually coming out, but you can sense that type of thing. 105 00:07:18.879 --> 00:07:23.920 So like, for me, listening is actually even bigger than just like 106 00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:27.439 the actual active of hearing what somebody is saying to you, taking it all 107 00:07:27.519 --> 00:07:30.839 in and then being able to respond you know, accordingly. But I absolutely 108 00:07:30.839 --> 00:07:34.800 believe it's a major component when it comes to actually becoming a better coach, 109 00:07:35.480 --> 00:07:40.720 because I'm not just listening to the words that are coming out of your mouth. 110 00:07:40.879 --> 00:07:45.560 I'm also asking questions to listen to how you got there, and how 111 00:07:45.600 --> 00:07:49.199 you explain it, and how you prioritize the explanation. I'm taking all of 112 00:07:49.240 --> 00:07:54.319 that in because that, for me is helpful and understanding how I can best 113 00:07:54.319 --> 00:07:58.839 support you as a leader in coach, in tweaking the things or adjusting the 114 00:07:58.920 --> 00:08:01.759 things. You know, Like I was, I'll share another example of real 115 00:08:01.800 --> 00:08:07.120 life example and actually I'm going to write about this on the newsletter about the 116 00:08:07.199 --> 00:08:11.439 term accountability and the term responsibility. And I was talking to a leader and 117 00:08:11.439 --> 00:08:15.040 they were talking about accountability and people are like, hey, I know as 118 00:08:15.079 --> 00:08:18.040 a leader, like accountability is really important to you, and you know it's 119 00:08:18.040 --> 00:08:20.079 about like, it's about accountability. And I pause them, I said, 120 00:08:20.079 --> 00:08:22.199 I here's what I'm gonna ask you to do. I'm asking you to change 121 00:08:22.480 --> 00:08:26.600 that terminology and I want you to use responsibility instead, because what I'm hearing 122 00:08:26.639 --> 00:08:31.279 you say is that you are a responsible person and you want your people to 123 00:08:31.319 --> 00:08:33.639 be responsible. So like you want to be responsible for what you're responsible for, 124 00:08:33.919 --> 00:08:37.559 you want them to be responsible for what they're responsible for. You want 125 00:08:37.559 --> 00:08:41.480 to be responsible together for the customers, the clients that you serve. Accountability 126 00:08:41.600 --> 00:08:46.559 is the outcome of people choosing not to be responsible. So I was like, 127 00:08:46.600 --> 00:08:48.120 when you hear the word accountability, when people say that to you as 128 00:08:48.120 --> 00:08:50.720 a leader, say, oh, I know that you're really big on accountability, 129 00:08:50.720 --> 00:08:54.000 so actually no, no, I'm big on responsibility, my responsibility, 130 00:08:54.000 --> 00:08:58.879 your responsibility. Right, Accountability is just that's what happens if, in fact, 131 00:09:00.200 --> 00:09:01.960 one of us chooses not to be responsible for what we're responsible for. 132 00:09:03.120 --> 00:09:05.679 So you know, I I share that examples like again, I'm listening, 133 00:09:05.799 --> 00:09:11.919 I'm hearing, and then I'm helping to shape maybe what that dialogu would look 134 00:09:11.919 --> 00:09:15.519 like in the future. Right, Yeah, here's my for those of you 135 00:09:15.799 --> 00:09:20.240 playing hacking readership bingo. Still, here's my my parenting reference. Yes, 136 00:09:20.960 --> 00:09:24.759 par reference, Yes I had. I had a conversation with one of my 137 00:09:24.840 --> 00:09:28.720 kids about a group project that they were working on for school where another person 138 00:09:30.279 --> 00:09:35.720 in the group just didn't do anything and and consequently the project was not turned 139 00:09:35.720 --> 00:09:39.320 in on time and uh and and my daughter got a bad grade on on 140 00:09:39.360 --> 00:09:43.799 the project even though she did the part that she was supposed to do. 141 00:09:43.200 --> 00:09:48.720 And we had a conversation about how something could be not your fault but still 142 00:09:48.799 --> 00:09:52.320 your responsibility, meaning if if you are taking ownership for the grade that you 143 00:09:52.399 --> 00:09:56.240 want, you can say, oh, I'm washing my hands of this. 144 00:09:56.360 --> 00:09:58.799 I did my part. If I get a bad grade, it's on them. 145 00:09:58.879 --> 00:10:01.960 It's like, well, no, if you get a bad grade, 146 00:10:01.039 --> 00:10:05.399 even if you're doing your part, it might be caused by them, but 147 00:10:05.440 --> 00:10:07.480 it doesn't mean it's on them. Your bad grade is still on you. 148 00:10:07.960 --> 00:10:13.120 So something could be not your fault but still your responsibility. And to me, 149 00:10:13.159 --> 00:10:16.240 I look at the exact same way when it comes to accountability and responsibility, 150 00:10:16.240 --> 00:10:22.320 so that you know, if a leader, if an element is not 151 00:10:22.360 --> 00:10:26.240 an actual part of a leader's job description to do, but the outcome of 152 00:10:26.279 --> 00:10:33.519 that thing not getting done could absolutely impact things that are on a leader to 153 00:10:33.559 --> 00:10:37.720 get done. Now that becomes part of the leader's job like they own it 154 00:10:37.759 --> 00:10:41.360 by proxy basically, you know, or at least they have to consider the 155 00:10:41.399 --> 00:10:45.919 fact that if they decide to wash their hands of it and not own it 156 00:10:45.960 --> 00:10:48.320 because it's not their responsibility, that's fine, But they don't get to wash 157 00:10:48.399 --> 00:10:52.639 their hands of what the collateral damage or the ripple effect is of that thing 158 00:10:52.720 --> 00:10:58.080 not getting done just because it wasn't their fault that it didn't get done. 159 00:10:58.720 --> 00:11:01.919 This is the exact same thing. It's it's this, it's this reading between 160 00:11:01.919 --> 00:11:05.039 the lines. So if you're if you are listening to your employees and not 161 00:11:05.120 --> 00:11:09.679 just what they're saying, but what they aren't saying their body language and reading 162 00:11:09.679 --> 00:11:11.840 between the lines. These are the types of questions you'll end up asking yourself 163 00:11:13.039 --> 00:11:15.480 as far as you know, how how did they get here? Like are 164 00:11:15.480 --> 00:11:18.679 they are? They coming to you as the leader and they're looking for validation 165 00:11:20.200 --> 00:11:24.279 because they're talking about something that is they're having a problem with. Do you 166 00:11:24.360 --> 00:11:26.200 have the ability in the moment to be able to think about the things that 167 00:11:26.200 --> 00:11:31.759 they're saying and realize why they got to the place that they got to Because 168 00:11:31.759 --> 00:11:35.399 in a lot of time, a lot of cases, employees who are having 169 00:11:35.440 --> 00:11:39.320 these conversations with you, they are the you know, they're the cause of 170 00:11:39.360 --> 00:11:43.799 their own wounds, right, That's something that they did cause them to now 171 00:11:43.840 --> 00:11:46.320 be in this place where they feel like they have a problem they have to 172 00:11:46.320 --> 00:11:48.759 solve. But as a leader, you don't just get to say, well, 173 00:11:48.840 --> 00:11:50.480 you made your bed, now you're gonna lie in it. You know, 174 00:11:50.559 --> 00:11:54.080 you have to address it in a way that doesn't disengage them or make 175 00:11:54.120 --> 00:11:56.679 them not want to talk to you as a leader, but while also not 176 00:11:58.519 --> 00:12:03.080 just simply validating the things that they're saying. In a way that allows them 177 00:12:03.120 --> 00:12:07.679 to keep on the path that they're on and just trying to make them feel 178 00:12:07.679 --> 00:12:11.799 better like they were listening to Because if you're listening, as it is defined 179 00:12:11.840 --> 00:12:15.799 here and they call it a superpower, it's what are you doing with that 180 00:12:15.919 --> 00:12:22.200 listening? It's what tools do you have that you can unlock based on how 181 00:12:22.279 --> 00:12:26.399 you are processing the things that person is saying? And then how can you 182 00:12:26.440 --> 00:12:33.080 steer that person in a path that helps them get better and helps them become 183 00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:37.840 a better employee, a better person, a better leader without them leaving the 184 00:12:37.879 --> 00:12:41.480 conversation feeling like you schooled them, Like it's almost like they have to get 185 00:12:41.480 --> 00:12:46.120 there on their own and the conversation can help them get there. And then 186 00:12:46.200 --> 00:12:48.679 you've done your job as a coach and as a leader to help them get 187 00:12:48.720 --> 00:12:52.960 where they need to go without necessarily being the one that owns the conversation yourself. 188 00:12:54.120 --> 00:12:56.600 You're doing a lot more listening than you are talking. Absolutely, and 189 00:12:56.639 --> 00:13:00.600 with that it brings us to this episodes one minute hack. But first a 190 00:13:00.600 --> 00:13:03.799 few words from our sponsors. All right, for this episode is one minute 191 00:13:03.799 --> 00:13:05.720 Heck, here's we want you to do. Get very good at the phrase. 192 00:13:07.480 --> 00:13:11.200 So what I'm hearing you say is and what I mean by that is, 193 00:13:11.240 --> 00:13:15.480 when you're talking to one of your employees, be listening to the point 194 00:13:15.559 --> 00:13:18.879 of being able to repeat to them exactly what they said back to them. 195 00:13:20.440 --> 00:13:24.039 This is so important to do because it will do one of two things. 196 00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:28.720 First, it will absolutely validate them. It'll make sure that they understand that 197 00:13:28.759 --> 00:13:31.799 you were listening to every single thing that they said. Sometimes people can have 198 00:13:31.840 --> 00:13:37.600 a tendency to say something that they didn't actually mean, and hearing it get 199 00:13:37.679 --> 00:13:41.639 said back to them in exactly the way they said it might make them think, 200 00:13:41.919 --> 00:13:43.879 you know what, Yes, that is what I said. That's not 201 00:13:43.919 --> 00:13:46.600 exactly what I meant, So let me go back over it with you again. 202 00:13:46.799 --> 00:13:48.879 And this brings us back to something we talked about the beginning of the 203 00:13:48.879 --> 00:13:52.320 episode, which is the importance of defining something before you can have a conversation 204 00:13:52.360 --> 00:13:58.240 about it. If you're listening to an employee with the mindset of you want 205 00:13:58.240 --> 00:13:58.919 to help them, you want to be able to coach them, you want 206 00:13:58.919 --> 00:14:01.799 to be able to help them get better or solve their problem, whatever that 207 00:14:01.919 --> 00:14:05.480 is, you two have to be on the same page for what that problem 208 00:14:05.600 --> 00:14:11.039 is. And defining whose responsibility is who's accountable for it, and how you 209 00:14:11.080 --> 00:14:16.360 can help the employee through that process. The agreeing on what the employee said 210 00:14:16.519 --> 00:14:20.200 in terms of how they phrased the problem to you is a must before you 211 00:14:20.200 --> 00:14:22.399 can go down that path. So being able to repeat back to them exactly 212 00:14:22.399 --> 00:14:26.080 what they said in a way that is validating is the most important thing you 213 00:14:26.120 --> 00:14:30.519 can do when it comes to using listening as an actual superpower. Yeah, 214 00:14:30.519 --> 00:14:33.120 it's a great one minute hack, And again, I think it's such an 215 00:14:33.120 --> 00:14:35.440 important part of it. You know, there's so many things we can talk 216 00:14:35.440 --> 00:14:39.639 about when it comes to active listening and active questioning and how do you make 217 00:14:39.679 --> 00:14:43.000 sure that you're you know, you're actually hearing what your people have to say 218 00:14:43.039 --> 00:14:46.440 and in those types of terms like what I what I heard you say is 219 00:14:46.759 --> 00:14:50.879 you know, these things matter a lot when it comes to being able to 220 00:14:50.919 --> 00:14:56.840 do being able to not only build great culture with the team, but but 221 00:14:56.919 --> 00:15:01.679 build great relationships with your people, you know. And I've definitely had those 222 00:15:01.720 --> 00:15:05.360 moments where it's gone both ways. I say, so what I heard you 223 00:15:05.399 --> 00:15:07.240 say was this, and they said like yeah, absolutely, I'll say okay, 224 00:15:07.279 --> 00:15:11.559 great, Like if that's the case, Like let's have this conversation here. 225 00:15:11.679 --> 00:15:13.320 Let's make sure we're good here. And I've definitely had the opportunity where 226 00:15:13.320 --> 00:15:16.039 people have said like, no, no, no, that's not that's not 227 00:15:16.080 --> 00:15:16.559 what I it's not what I said. I said, No, that's what 228 00:15:16.559 --> 00:15:18.320 you said. They're like, well, that's not what I meant. Okay, 229 00:15:18.679 --> 00:15:22.000 that's not what you meant. That's fine, Yes, that's not what 230 00:15:22.039 --> 00:15:26.559 you meant. Then that helped me better understand what you meant, because I 231 00:15:26.879 --> 00:15:30.639 want to make sure that that what we talk about, what I share, 232 00:15:31.000 --> 00:15:33.399 what perspective, whatever it is that you're asking for me to take a look 233 00:15:33.399 --> 00:15:37.919 at in our conversation here, that I understand what you mean so I can 234 00:15:37.960 --> 00:15:41.960 best help us to move forward in whatever direction we're going. And I think 235 00:15:41.200 --> 00:15:48.639 those things are really really important. And to be a great coach again means 236 00:15:48.679 --> 00:15:52.679 you really have to be attuned to what people are saying, what people are 237 00:15:52.679 --> 00:15:56.399 doing, how they're getting there, and how you are taking in that information 238 00:15:56.799 --> 00:16:00.840 to then be able to coach them in a way that is it impactful and 239 00:16:00.960 --> 00:16:06.200 positive and it helps to to get them what they need to be more successful 240 00:16:06.240 --> 00:16:08.639 in their role, right, all right, And I think this is a 241 00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:12.840 really important thing when you're doing this with people too, is that it can't 242 00:16:14.080 --> 00:16:18.120 ever come off as if you are patronizing them or that you are trying to 243 00:16:18.159 --> 00:16:23.159 school them. If you're truly looking at listening as a superpower to help you 244 00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:29.320 solve a problem for that for that employee, or to help them solve their 245 00:16:29.360 --> 00:16:34.080 own problems. If that's your goal, then the the the win is to 246 00:16:34.159 --> 00:16:40.039 make sure the relationship continues in a positive way, because it's likely the problem 247 00:16:40.120 --> 00:16:42.519 that that person is presenting to you isn't going to be solved in a moment. 248 00:16:42.559 --> 00:16:45.200 It's going to take follow up, but it's going to take the continuation 249 00:16:45.279 --> 00:16:49.360 of the relationship in a positive way. And so if you if they say 250 00:16:49.360 --> 00:16:53.279 something to you and they phrase a problem a certain way and you respond back 251 00:16:53.279 --> 00:16:57.000 with so what I'm hearing you say is that you, you know, don't 252 00:16:57.120 --> 00:17:02.080 don't relate to people well and cause problems with people. Like if you're doing 253 00:17:02.080 --> 00:17:06.599 this in a way that says you're trying to shine a spotlight on their own 254 00:17:06.680 --> 00:17:10.160 shortcomings, you've already gone about it the wrong way. I'm not saying that 255 00:17:10.160 --> 00:17:12.920 person doesn't have shortcomings. Again, they could be the complete cause of the 256 00:17:12.960 --> 00:17:15.920 problem of the situation. That they're in and they could be their own worst 257 00:17:17.000 --> 00:17:21.200 enemy when it comes to this stuff. It's not your place to force fully 258 00:17:21.279 --> 00:17:22.839 rip their head out of the sand, force them to look in the mirror 259 00:17:22.839 --> 00:17:26.200 at themselves and have this, you know, come to Jesus moments, right. 260 00:17:26.519 --> 00:17:30.160 They have to get there on their own, and they will only do 261 00:17:30.200 --> 00:17:33.799 that through you if they feel like they can trust you to help them work 262 00:17:33.839 --> 00:17:36.920 through some things, as opposed to, you know, just jumping in and 263 00:17:37.279 --> 00:17:38.920 thinking you have the answer to solve their problem right away. Absolutely, and 264 00:17:38.960 --> 00:17:41.559 with that it brings us to the end of this episode. This is hacking 265 00:17:41.640 --> 00:17:45.480 leadership. I'm Lorenzo and I'm Chris, and we'll talk to you all next time.