1 00:00:19,839 --> 00:00:26,320 Welcome to another motherfucking episode of Convo behind the Pod. I got it right 2 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:30,640 this time. I'm in here talking today with my brother Jones. Jones has 3 00:00:30,679 --> 00:00:36,679 been a part of every podcast endeavor other than well, he's been a part 4 00:00:36,719 --> 00:00:42,240 of every Black Widow season. Were your part of season two? We're just 5 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:45,880 three? Man, I think so. I think you was too. I 6 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,520 think it was a part of two season two, season three, and then 7 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:53,320 some diaries, a lot of diaries and the true crime. Yeah. I 8 00:00:53,359 --> 00:00:56,359 appreciate you, bro, but I never said it. I really do appreciate 9 00:00:56,359 --> 00:00:59,719 Youah Man, I like it. Man, I appreciate it. Um it's 10 00:00:59,719 --> 00:01:03,240 been Oh man, it's a learning experience. And to the people listening, 11 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:06,200 Man, you don't understand how And I'm not saying this, Bro, you're 12 00:01:06,239 --> 00:01:11,599 thinking me, but uh it's challenging. And uh you're a dope ass coach. 13 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:14,599 Bro. You making you making fun? Man? People be thinking, 14 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,519 Yeah, niggas are real actors. Damn. I'm not saying that. I'm 15 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:21,760 not saying I'm not okay. I don't want abody to feel like I'm dissing 16 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,040 Na. No, no, man, you do a good job with the 17 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:26,359 coaching part of it. Bro, appreciate it. Bro. Yeah, Man, 18 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:30,519 I come in this joint. Initially I came in very insecure, man. 19 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,719 But now when I record, man, I know you know what you're 20 00:01:32,719 --> 00:01:37,400 doing. You're coaching. You're coaching is Phil Jackson, and uh, I'm 21 00:01:37,439 --> 00:01:38,519 confident when I come in now you know what I mean. That's good, 22 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:42,079 man, because I don't be knowing honestly, I just been trying to get 23 00:01:42,159 --> 00:01:44,319 niggas to feel the road so I can get this shit done. Man. 24 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,760 But man, it's coming around. It's making it. It's making um, 25 00:01:47,799 --> 00:01:49,760 it's making life easy for me, all of the all of the work I 26 00:01:49,799 --> 00:01:55,480 put in. So say like with uh, you know season one. Season 27 00:01:55,480 --> 00:02:00,480 one was the only season where it was weekly for ten weeks. So that 28 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:04,000 means that I only had the first three done when I first started, and 29 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:08,599 then I had to um either write and or record like the whole Key series 30 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:13,080 of those three episodes, I had to write them, record them, mix 31 00:02:13,159 --> 00:02:17,319 them, and put them out weekly. So with that being said, a 32 00:02:17,319 --> 00:02:21,960 lot of the companies, a lot of the companies that I'm applying for and 33 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,319 all that they only they only want me to do one of those jobs in 34 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:31,879 a week. So I turned something in to a place. Excuse me, 35 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:36,759 I turned something in um to a place and they were like, wow, 36 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:42,120 that was fast, and I was I wanted to be like yeah, nigga, 37 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:47,319 but you know, like the journey. I was typing an email like 38 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:51,039 yeah, I used to have I do this with blah blah blah blah. 39 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:55,560 But then I was just like, my journey ain'tn't necessarily important to them, 40 00:02:55,599 --> 00:03:00,759 So I never I don't even feel the need to even explain myself or how 41 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:04,919 I get things, how I'm as good as I am, or how I 42 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:07,960 get things done as fast as I do, because I've heard that before. 43 00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:14,199 Is it one of those things to where like YO, say less like for 44 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,840 example, like you know what they're looking for, and do you over explain 45 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,759 like Yo, I did this, I did this, I did that, 46 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,599 almost making your resume three pages to where it's like, nah, I just 47 00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:25,080 need you to this is what I'm this is the job we need you to 48 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:29,000 do. Then here you are you know what I mean? Is it that 49 00:03:29,199 --> 00:03:31,919 like that or no, I just think I'm exhausted. I think I think 50 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:39,039 I'm exhausted of finding out. I don't think I'm exhausted at finding out how 51 00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:45,439 overworked I worked myself, I think, you know, him saying that was 52 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:49,280 kind of like, you know, damn, like you got this done way 53 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,719 quicker than what we imagine. But it's also telling myself, damn, you 54 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,919 was doing this way. You was going way harder than what you was supposed 55 00:03:54,919 --> 00:03:59,199 to be putting yourself through. And my body and my you know, my 56 00:03:59,199 --> 00:04:00,800 my body is has suffered from it, you know what I'm saying. My 57 00:04:00,879 --> 00:04:08,280 relationship has suffered from it from what I thought was just part of the grind, 58 00:04:08,719 --> 00:04:10,960 you know what I'm saying it. And although it is part of the 59 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:14,479 grind, I'm starting to realize that maybe I was. I might have been 60 00:04:14,479 --> 00:04:17,079 grinding a little bit too hard, because they're there that that is a thing, 61 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:20,480 and I know that niggas don't away. Just like to admit that grinding. 62 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:25,680 You can't over grind some shit and burn yourself out. And um, 63 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:29,800 I'm just happy that my wife didn't leave me while I was trying. While 64 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:33,959 I was grinding it out, because when when a man is when a man 65 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:38,399 is determined, Bro, you could tell you you can attest to it. 66 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:43,360 I know you can when the man is head down and just like grinding it 67 00:04:43,399 --> 00:04:49,079 out, Sorry about that, But when a man finally makes up his mind 68 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:55,040 that enough is enough, because every man has that threshold to where it's like, 69 00:04:56,399 --> 00:04:59,560 uh, well everybody. Every man hits that point to where they like, 70 00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:05,639 what have I been doing with my life? And then some go down 71 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:12,839 a dark rabbit hole where it's a lot of self blaming and feeling bad for 72 00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:15,519 themselves, which is where a lot of rap music come from. Oh I 73 00:05:15,519 --> 00:05:18,519 didn't have this. I didn't have to have my mama woodn't ner, my 74 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:21,480 daddy woodn' ner. So I had to sell drugs or I had to kill 75 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:24,920 this person. I know, you could have just went to school. Yeah, 76 00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:27,639 you could have just went to school. You could have went to school. 77 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:32,399 Nobody was picking on you like that, like nobody was nobody. The 78 00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:36,680 teacher didn't tell you none of that. Anyway, the movie, the movie 79 00:05:36,759 --> 00:05:40,079 Knocked Up, where he had to get his act together because the girl was 80 00:05:40,079 --> 00:05:42,120 out of his league and she kept the baby and she was like, nigga, 81 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:46,160 you ain't gotta be here. You're a bum, and he had to 82 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:51,079 leave his childlike behavior behind. And I think that I think that with Black 83 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:56,879 Widow or podcasting in general, not just with Black Widow Man. When I 84 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,160 was before I was podcasting, I was making music, and I had already 85 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,759 had that thought in my head, like I was wasting my time, Like 86 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:08,120 fuck, I look up and I'm not I don't have any profession. I 87 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:12,240 can I can get a job. But then my job closed down because I 88 00:06:12,079 --> 00:06:14,480 was I was doing all the av stuff, I was doing all the audio 89 00:06:14,519 --> 00:06:17,079 visual stuff. And then my job closed down and MO tonight, So that 90 00:06:17,079 --> 00:06:21,439 that fucked with me. And then um, I kept getting I kept meeting 91 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:26,839 with these podcasts people, and back then podcasting was still freshen for black people. 92 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,720 It was still fresh when I started, So a lot of people didn't 93 00:06:30,759 --> 00:06:34,639 understand what they could do with Black widow m because it wasn't that many scripted 94 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:40,439 shows out like that, especially not scripted shows. So I just started feeling 95 00:06:40,439 --> 00:06:43,399 like what the fuck? So my head went down. I just had to 96 00:06:43,439 --> 00:06:47,879 get really really good at what I do in regards to writing, script sound 97 00:06:47,879 --> 00:06:53,519 design, um shit, and being a man still trying to figure it out, 98 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:57,519 and I was stressing myself to fuck out a lot, like a lot 99 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:04,120 a lot, And now here it is twenty twenty three. My body, 100 00:07:04,959 --> 00:07:08,360 we're just my hip, my left hip, it's just super tight. That's 101 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:12,319 where I hold all my stress at but here it is twenty twenty three. 102 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:15,639 We don't went through a pandemic. We don't went through nigga economy crisis, 103 00:07:15,759 --> 00:07:19,160 niggas. We don't went out I had three kids, and I'm trying my 104 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:25,439 best to not allow it to kill me at this point. Yeah, we 105 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,959 just push ourselves through the fire. Yeah, man, I think I think 106 00:07:28,959 --> 00:07:30,800 every I can relate to everything he's saying, man, because I think like 107 00:07:31,199 --> 00:07:34,920 anyone who's listening probably can relate to this, because we come up in a 108 00:07:34,959 --> 00:07:41,879 time to where I don't get tired. We like I have to grind harder 109 00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:44,720 than the next person. I have to be better, you know what I 110 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:49,120 mean, And we don't. We don't realize balance, and of course when 111 00:07:49,279 --> 00:07:53,560 without balance, you're gonna tip over. And I can relate to the podcast 112 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,360 part, you know, like it was like I gotta do this, I 113 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,720 gotta stay ahead of the game. I gotta do this, I gotta get 114 00:07:58,759 --> 00:08:01,639 and then other things start slacking and then next thing, you know, bro, 115 00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:07,519 you losing relationships, you your job suffering. And I think that's the 116 00:08:07,519 --> 00:08:11,959 thing about like when most people have to do like I said, anybody listening 117 00:08:11,439 --> 00:08:15,560 or whatever, it may be you gotta find balance and everything, bro, 118 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,519 because if not, you know it. I will say, I will say, 119 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:24,839 I will say about I will say that a lot of the relationships that 120 00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:31,679 I did lose or didn't fly or didn't water properly, I won't say lose 121 00:08:33,399 --> 00:08:37,639 relationships that I didn't water properly. I am not upset that I lost. 122 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:41,440 Yeah, I mean because everybody to come in your life, they're not meant 123 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:46,000 to stay forever. Yeah, but you know, it's a season or it's 124 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,879 a purpose or whatever it is. Yeah, you're right. But the thing 125 00:08:48,879 --> 00:08:52,519 about the thing about social media is that it allows you to stay attached to 126 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:56,159 these people visually at least, you know what I'm saying. So it kind 127 00:08:56,200 --> 00:09:01,440 of you know, my son is Yeah, that stage where you want to 128 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:05,799 be with daddy bro. No, Yeah, but it's also at that stage 129 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:09,679 where I'm gonna have to start knocking you out like it ain't no more. 130 00:09:09,879 --> 00:09:13,440 Stop that as now It's okay, you're trying me. Now I feel the 131 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:16,399 heat. Yeah, you definite gotta you definite gotta understand how strong I am. 132 00:09:16,519 --> 00:09:20,080 But yeah, burning yourself out, especially as an entrepreneur. You know, 133 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:22,279 I don't want to be an entrepreneur anymore. I don't want to. 134 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,759 I don't want to. I don't want to be with the soul response. 135 00:09:24,759 --> 00:09:28,600 I don't want my passion to be the way I pay my bills. I 136 00:09:28,639 --> 00:09:35,279 want my skill that I'm passionate about to pay my bills. But I don't 137 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,200 want to have to because it was hard, bro, it was hard. 138 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:43,480 It's hard, um, you know, putting it, putting it, putting 139 00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:48,480 in as much work into this show or into this podcast, and then there 140 00:09:48,639 --> 00:09:54,320 is to peep the fans. What's crazy is the fans can't possibly pay you 141 00:09:54,519 --> 00:09:58,000 as much as a corporation could pay you. No, you know what I'm 142 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:05,679 saying. And maybe maybe with Patreon, maybe if I had a thousand of 143 00:10:05,679 --> 00:10:09,360 them on there, maybe three thousand. But that's a lot of people. 144 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,480 Yeah, that's a lot. That's a lot of patrons paying money. And 145 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:18,039 I'm thankful for the ones that I have, so I can't really even be 146 00:10:18,039 --> 00:10:20,080 begging too much because I don't want to make it seem like I'm unappreciative of 147 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:24,759 the ones that I do have. But it was a time where again I 148 00:10:24,399 --> 00:10:28,919 always having to grind, grind it out, and I'm happy that I didn't 149 00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:31,879 lose I might have lost my sanity. I might I might have I might 150 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:35,799 have lost my sanity. They lost something, dog, they lose something within 151 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:41,120 regardless if it's just like it could be a person, it can be the 152 00:10:41,159 --> 00:10:43,600 passion, it could be something that you lose because and you said something that 153 00:10:43,639 --> 00:10:48,080 was key. And I think that's where we all we social media is a 154 00:10:48,159 --> 00:10:52,440 cause of it, like looking at someone else do, it's a cause of 155 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:56,759 it because you feel like like I always hear this, bro, I always 156 00:10:56,799 --> 00:11:01,559 hear people once they overworked themselves, they say, and I didn't even have 157 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:05,480 to do all that shit, and they realize, like they find the balance 158 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,559 again, or they find the beauty of what makes important, the importance of 159 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,960 it, and then they don't got to do that shit no more, or 160 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:15,000 they lose they lose the passion completely, you know what I mean. And 161 00:11:15,039 --> 00:11:18,960 I think that's where we get caught up in losing a lot of the things 162 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:24,720 that we love because we think we got to do some unrealistic shit, bro, 163 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:26,559 and you don't have to, you know what I mean. And I 164 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:30,559 think that's where, like I said, the podcasting, I mean, I 165 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:35,240 got to that stage, dog, like yeah, bro, and I love 166 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,879 doing it. That shit was a sense of therapy. But I got to 167 00:11:37,919 --> 00:11:39,279 a point to where I was like, you know what, I don't care. 168 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:45,080 Yeah, this is becoming more of a this is what the hell, 169 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:52,960 bro, this is becoming more of a headache than anything. That's what it 170 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:58,679 was with swear to guy. And because you overworked yourself so hard in the 171 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:05,559 beginning. And then when I look now like we're doing Engler philosophy of what 172 00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:11,039 we have until I had to start recording Black what, Bro, I'm like, 173 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:15,000 I used to have to I used to do two episodes a week video 174 00:12:15,159 --> 00:12:16,480 for all I used to do. I used to do the video. I 175 00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:18,720 used to do all the audio editing, and I used to do all the 176 00:12:18,799 --> 00:12:22,080 chopping it up and it all. I'm thinking, like, man, if 177 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:26,960 I did that, now, how can you be a good father? How 178 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,960 can you be a good you know what I mean? You can't. It's 179 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:33,360 impossible. You can't. And I want to be a but I want to 180 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:37,080 be a good father more than I want to be anything else. There you 181 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:39,960 go, you know what I'm saying. So, man, I wonder if 182 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,679 somebody listening right now I can relate to that ship, bro, because right 183 00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:48,360 now somebody is overworking themselves to try to be successful as something that does not 184 00:12:48,639 --> 00:12:54,159 need that much day in night losing sleep. Yeah, but it's I guess 185 00:12:54,159 --> 00:13:01,639 it's one of those things where the algorithms will tell you that you gotta you 186 00:13:01,639 --> 00:13:05,600 gotta do that. Yeah, the algorithm that fake, bro, Yeah, 187 00:13:05,639 --> 00:13:09,080 that's should fake bro, that's sho fake. Because now that I'm now that 188 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:11,919 I'm now that I'm in, now that I'm in it, because I will 189 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:18,279 say that ABE mixing Adobe has put me in a different category. So I 190 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:24,360 have been afforded a lot of opportunities that I wouldn't have gotten, um if 191 00:13:24,399 --> 00:13:33,080 I had not been in Adobe. But I will say that there are certain 192 00:13:33,159 --> 00:13:37,080 circles and communities that you won't be able to get in no matter how hard 193 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:41,639 you work. It's like it's like it's like it's like a frat. It's 194 00:13:41,639 --> 00:13:45,200 like it's some of these circles are frats. And if you didn't go to 195 00:13:45,279 --> 00:13:48,360 a certain school, or go to a certain or a certain conference or a 196 00:13:48,399 --> 00:13:52,279 certain this and this and see people in person and not ro on LinkedIn, 197 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:56,440 they inbox is flooded with gonna fucker sending a message. It's just like you 198 00:13:56,720 --> 00:14:01,399 inbox full of motherfuckers sending the messages. Uh, just like you and and 199 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:09,039 and it's and unless you unless you plan on going viral and becoming a virus 200 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:15,080 sensation off the stuff that you create, and and shit, even if you 201 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:16,879 go viral, you might only go viral one time. There you go, 202 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,960 you know what I'm saying. So it's like, I don't know. I'm 203 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,639 not trying to make anybody lose hope or faith, but it's just one of 204 00:14:22,639 --> 00:14:26,159 those things like what do you want out of it? Like what whatever you're 205 00:14:26,159 --> 00:14:28,440 doing it for, what do you want out of it? And Dan shoot 206 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:30,799 for that? There you go? You know what I mean, because we 207 00:14:30,879 --> 00:14:33,919 see it with podcasts and like they'll give a nigga the White Howard Apoda White 208 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:39,840 Howard a podcast podcast man. I said this to h I said this to 209 00:14:39,919 --> 00:14:43,559 Byron. He spoke to about Brian Byron earlier, and I told b like 210 00:14:43,759 --> 00:14:46,159 a long time ago, a few years ago, Bro, I was like, 211 00:14:48,039 --> 00:14:52,399 man, this podcasting shit is oversaturated. And you always hear people say, 212 00:14:52,519 --> 00:14:54,519 well, the last person that made wheat bread there was some other company 213 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:58,519 making wheat bread. And I wasn't saying, like stop doing it. You 214 00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:01,519 just have to to find a different purpose of what this ship means to you, 215 00:15:01,919 --> 00:15:05,120 because if your mindset is I'm about to blow up, I'm about to 216 00:15:05,159 --> 00:15:09,720 get rich. Bro, I don't think that should be anybody's. But that's 217 00:15:09,759 --> 00:15:13,039 a lot of people that's what they think. Bro. Yeah, I don't 218 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,240 think. I don't think you should have the mentality with anything that you that 219 00:15:16,399 --> 00:15:18,519 you were about to blow, you know what I mean, because ain't nobody 220 00:15:18,519 --> 00:15:24,080 about to blow. So I had to find a different purpose and what podcasting 221 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,919 was to me, and that ship was like therapy, you know what I 222 00:15:26,919 --> 00:15:28,320 mean? And I had to like, this is why I like it because 223 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:31,559 I'm used. I used to think that, bro, until I was recording 224 00:15:31,559 --> 00:15:39,200 with Cat from Fake As book Club and midway through the pot I was just 225 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:43,879 like, I want to do this no more. Yeah, I was like, 226 00:15:43,919 --> 00:15:46,320 why why are we even? I don't give a fuck about none of 227 00:15:46,399 --> 00:15:48,559 this stuff. I don't really want to talk about none of this stuff, 228 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:52,559 and I don't want to talk about any of this with you, you know 229 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,120 what I'm saying. I kept doing it, but I just my the way 230 00:15:54,159 --> 00:15:58,679 I used to feel about it, like just ready to record. Oh no, 231 00:15:58,879 --> 00:16:02,440 that's over with, that's over and and I got to that point That's 232 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:07,360 why I haven't recorded for a while. Honestly, I'm just like, man, 233 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:12,480 yeah, man, because now I'm thinking like, I'll see I'll see 234 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:18,399 I'll see pods. I'll see pods now and the misogynistic pods. And I'd 235 00:16:18,399 --> 00:16:22,639 be like, I think they're just saying that shit on purpose. Definitely, 236 00:16:22,039 --> 00:16:26,480 there's no way you can think like this. Definitely, bro, they're saying 237 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:29,440 shit on purpose, just as much as people making fake videos to make you 238 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:33,200 think it's real so they can go viral. Yeah, Keena be seeing to 239 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:34,039 me shit like that. I'll be looking like, man, that ship is 240 00:16:34,039 --> 00:16:37,879 so fake. I'll be looking at the pat I look at all the production 241 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:44,879 was like, how you tell I'm getting out of here? Yeah, the 242 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,919 person looked in the camera seventeen times. Man, that person to try to 243 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:51,320 kill that damn self to go viral, bro. And and I think that's 244 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:55,600 dangerous though, that's dangerous. And I don't even think we I don't think 245 00:16:55,600 --> 00:17:00,919 we've seen. We might have. I don't we might be seeing. We 246 00:17:00,039 --> 00:17:04,839 might be seeing it now, but like, like, um, how far 247 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:08,920 people will go to go viral? Man? And I was thinking like mass 248 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:15,160 shootings, like those people will be remembered for you know, longer than longer 249 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,920 than blue Face. Yeah you know what I'm saying, or maybe not, 250 00:17:18,039 --> 00:17:22,839 but shit, but blue Flace. They continue to have to create bullshit to 251 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,599 continue to go viral. Bro. Man that video with Blue Face and she 252 00:17:25,759 --> 00:17:29,519 was like you still you still eat my butt? Later? I don't let 253 00:17:29,559 --> 00:17:32,400 you eat my butt earlier because I had to take a shit. I was 254 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,359 like, Bro, or when she was when she was giving him head and 255 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,599 the cameras is in there. I'm like, they're doing anything they can do 256 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:42,279 now to try to continue to stay viral. Bro. And that's and that's 257 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:49,519 dangerous. I understand. Excuse me. Reality TV. I understand it because 258 00:17:49,519 --> 00:17:52,799 it's such a low cost. It's such a low overhead. You get two 259 00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:56,319 people that you don't have to pay nothing but like five thousand dollars an episode, 260 00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:02,240 and you get them to bring in the audience. But do you remember, 261 00:18:02,319 --> 00:18:07,799 like reality TV was a space that was for reality TV. Now anybody 262 00:18:07,839 --> 00:18:11,039 with a camera is creating their own reality. Oh well, because everybody got 263 00:18:11,039 --> 00:18:12,240 a camera, That's what I'm saying that. And that's what it's like, 264 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:15,880 because you remember you could watch reality TV and you had that moment of hour 265 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,759 or whatever it was those couple came on in the road the real World. 266 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:25,359 Yeah, now, bro, it's on twenty four to seven log on Instagram 267 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:33,400 and it's twenty four seven reality TV. It's crazy and dangerous. Yeah, 268 00:18:33,559 --> 00:18:41,559 it's definitely dangerous, and it's definitely Um, it's toxic. It's toxic because 269 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:47,480 a lot of the relationship stuff that I see on there doesn't apply to me 270 00:18:48,519 --> 00:18:56,279 because I don't make I don't make more than my wife. She's always made 271 00:18:56,319 --> 00:19:00,920 more than me, but it's never been an issue to her, at least 272 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,839 she hasn't made a one. Yeah. Um, And I think it's because 273 00:19:03,839 --> 00:19:07,279 of the back of the upbringing that she's had. She has, she has 274 00:19:07,319 --> 00:19:15,480 really great parents. But a lot of the times I see on there stereotypical 275 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:19,440 advice given to black men and black women. And I don't know if I 276 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:22,599 don't know if it's white people are doing it too, because that all cross 277 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:26,599 my timeline. But I just I just see a bunch of shit that validates 278 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:32,000 anybody's reason and for being a shitty person. Yeah, Like, did she 279 00:19:32,039 --> 00:19:34,599 come from a very religious background. No, but her dad is her dad 280 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:41,759 is very He's Israel, Like, okay, so he he They grew up 281 00:19:41,759 --> 00:19:45,240 at a church, but he instilled some values in them that you know, 282 00:19:45,319 --> 00:19:48,319 I didn't really understand it first. I didn't really because I didn't. I 283 00:19:48,319 --> 00:19:52,319 don't come from that. So that unconditional love, Yeah, I don't think 284 00:19:52,319 --> 00:19:59,519 people really understand how difficult it is to accept unconditional love. Like somebody telling 285 00:19:59,559 --> 00:20:07,599 you I love you through whatever, and then they love you through whatever. 286 00:20:08,079 --> 00:20:12,680 You also have to forgive yourself for doing the whatever. So a lot of 287 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:18,079 the times, it's not the person that your partner who accepted you unconditionally, 288 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:23,400 it's you who don't love you unconditionally, that has not accepted the fact that 289 00:20:23,559 --> 00:20:27,240 you are not where you want to be and you are lashing out onto a 290 00:20:27,319 --> 00:20:32,279 person who doesn't give a fuck about where you are. Yeah, yeah, 291 00:20:32,559 --> 00:20:34,400 that makes sense. Yeah no, Because my next question was when you said 292 00:20:36,079 --> 00:20:41,839 accepting, you know, unconditional love. Can you accept unconditional love if you 293 00:20:41,839 --> 00:20:45,079 don't truly love yourself? Because do you even know what it is? You 294 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:47,359 don't know what it is? Yeah, you don't know what it is. 295 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:52,559 It can unconditional love, in my opinion, from from my experience, can 296 00:20:52,599 --> 00:21:02,960 look like laziness. Some somebody that loves you and conditionally doesn't necessarily push you 297 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:07,200 to do anything. They love you enough that they trust you. Or you 298 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:11,359 said you want to do this, well I believe you, um or you 299 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,160 didn't didn't be like, why are you doing motivated it? Well, I 300 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:15,519 thought you had it. I didn't know that you needed me to do that. 301 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:21,839 I'm sorry, And it's very It comes off very like like they don't 302 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:25,319 like they don't care. That's that's that's the trick for me. It comes 303 00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:27,680 off like you don't care, when in actuality you care the most. You're 304 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,559 just giving me the space that I think I need that I'm asking you for, 305 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,720 And then I end up getting angry because you're giving me space and I 306 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:37,559 don't really want space. I want you to be a cheerleader for me, 307 00:21:37,599 --> 00:21:38,680 but you don't know how to cheer lead because it's never been your bag. 308 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:42,519 Do you think that also? Okay, so I hear where you're coming from, 309 00:21:42,519 --> 00:21:45,839 But do you think there's a part of it too, like sometimes when 310 00:21:45,839 --> 00:21:53,160 a person has unconditional love for you, sometimes they love you more than what 311 00:21:53,319 --> 00:22:00,000 you may love yourself in situations, Yeah, because you never learned how to 312 00:22:00,039 --> 00:22:03,839 love yourself truly. Some people are like when like they see shit in you 313 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:10,119 that you can't see in yourself, or they just see you. They see 314 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:14,880 you, and who whatever they see it is good enough for them. Rather 315 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:18,960 they see more in you or less than in you. They might see they 316 00:22:19,039 --> 00:22:22,839 might just see Jones. They don't see where you're gonna be in the future, 317 00:22:22,839 --> 00:22:26,720 and they don't care about your past. They just see you for today. 318 00:22:26,039 --> 00:22:29,279 And did you lift the toilet seat up or put it back down? 319 00:22:29,559 --> 00:22:30,880 Did you get your draws out of the bathroom? Did you do the dishes 320 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:37,920 like present? Presently? Today? They love you today, and they are 321 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:41,640 going to love you tomorrow regardless of whatever you do, because they love you 322 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:45,240 unconditionally. But they ain't but tomorrow ain't got here yet. And if you 323 00:22:45,279 --> 00:22:48,240 love yourself and if you love this person, you won't put them through that. 324 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,480 Yeah, man, because I see it as and I agree with you, 325 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:53,880 But I think there's to me. I think a lot of times, 326 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:59,880 manum those people who love you unconditionally, like you said, they they've accepted 327 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:03,119 you for who you are, good, bad, ugly or whatever it may 328 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:07,319 be. And what I mean by the like they seeing that they see things 329 00:23:07,319 --> 00:23:14,200 in you that you can't see, so therefore they make you accountable for some 330 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:17,680 of the things that you may not never seeing yourself right, almost kind of 331 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:21,200 like you do with your your kid. That's unconditional love, bro. Like 332 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:26,000 you may not see it now, however I know, Like example, I 333 00:23:26,039 --> 00:23:30,000 tell my son, like, um, I tell my son, Hey, 334 00:23:30,039 --> 00:23:33,079 man, I'm not going to ask you to do anything that I don't believe 335 00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:37,359 you can do. Even when you don't think you can do it, I 336 00:23:37,519 --> 00:23:42,480 trust that you can do it. You know what I'm saying different from unconditional 337 00:23:42,599 --> 00:23:45,279 love to just being somebody's motivator. Well, no, no, no, 338 00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:49,920 But what I'm saying is like I think like someone, especially when you when 339 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:53,559 you're talking about relationship with man and woman and adulthood like kid, is like 340 00:23:53,839 --> 00:23:56,319 I gotta get you to understand this and believe this because you can do it. 341 00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:00,359 But I think a lot of times man with me, you know, 342 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,359 even even with my wife, I think a lot of times man like holding 343 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:07,599 that pressure to me, not pressure in a sense of like staying on my 344 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:11,160 head. You can do it. You can do it. Sometimes being there 345 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:15,279 for when I failed and still being there, it's like, look, I 346 00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:18,720 told you, I know you can do this. It's like, damn man, 347 00:24:18,799 --> 00:24:23,720 nobody else stuck by me through this shit and knowing that there's another side 348 00:24:23,759 --> 00:24:26,920 of me that can complete it and that can do it. You know what 349 00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:30,200 I mean, Most people just bail. Like most people. Well, I'm 350 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:33,720 just saying like fake friends or like people then people. In the beginning of 351 00:24:33,759 --> 00:24:37,920 this conversation, you were saying, like the people you lost maybe because you 352 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:41,960 didn't water enough or well, the reason why, the reason why, the 353 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,839 reason why I lose people and the reason why you lose people might be different, 354 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:47,519 but let's talk about that because that's a great topic. The reason why 355 00:24:47,559 --> 00:24:51,440 I lose people, bro is because my wife tells me all the time, 356 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:56,640 people are closer to you. People are people think your relationship with them is 357 00:24:56,680 --> 00:25:00,079 deeper than what it actually really is. So people be thinking that they're way 358 00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:06,440 more closer to me than I am to them. So because of that, 359 00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:10,640 a lot of my actions don't reflect the relationship that they think we have. 360 00:25:11,039 --> 00:25:15,000 My actions reflect the relationship that I think we have. So I might not 361 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:18,599 go to people's house, I might not call him like that, I might 362 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:19,880 not do it, but I might not do a bunch of shit because I 363 00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:26,200 don't feel like our relationship warns that for me and for instance, my cousin 364 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:30,160 got out of prison recently. He was in prison for five years. But 365 00:25:30,279 --> 00:25:34,240 before then I was I was in Atlanta in college, and then I lived 366 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,720 in Atlanta, and then he was still here. So we had gone through 367 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:41,079 a phase to where I was not going to his house like that. I 368 00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:45,799 wasn't calling him like that because he was either in jail or we was a 369 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,119 long distance. But this, this is my ace. He gets out of 370 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:52,920 jail and now he has his he working, he's doing really good well for 371 00:25:52,039 --> 00:25:55,720 himself. But he's out of jail. He has his own place, but 372 00:25:55,799 --> 00:25:59,200 it's on the south Side. I don't ever go over there. Okay, 373 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:03,000 ever drive over there. But it's not because I don't love him. It's 374 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:07,240 because I've just gotten so used to not having you a part of my life. 375 00:26:07,799 --> 00:26:11,920 Does that make sense, Like like if my dad was here, if 376 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,759 my dad moved here from Texas, I don't know how often I would see 377 00:26:14,799 --> 00:26:18,000 him still because I've gotten so used to not talking to you that I would 378 00:26:18,039 --> 00:26:22,440 just be okay with not talking to you or going so outside of my cousin. 379 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:29,160 I'm saying that because he might listen to this outside of him, and 380 00:26:29,559 --> 00:26:32,480 my mom too, because she lived in Georgia, so I gotten so used 381 00:26:32,519 --> 00:26:34,079 to not being around her like that. Now that she's here, I don't 382 00:26:34,079 --> 00:26:37,359 really make her a part of my schedule because I've just gotten so used to 383 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:42,119 not doing that. And that's toxic on my part. But everybody else we 384 00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:45,480 are not close like that. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. But 385 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:51,000 and and and it's not a bad thing. I just I'm just there for 386 00:26:51,039 --> 00:26:53,319 people because I'm a good listener and a talker or whatever the case may be. 387 00:26:53,319 --> 00:26:59,759 And I do motivate people and I do push people, and that means 388 00:26:59,799 --> 00:27:03,039 a lot to people. But that's just me being me. Yeah, And 389 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:07,920 in return, when I had kids, it stopped. When I got married, 390 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:12,160 it stopped because I had to be there for my wife and for my 391 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:15,920 son, and then from my family because I lost people. So that energy 392 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:18,799 that they were, that energy that I was given to these people, I 393 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:22,599 was no longer given the to him. And now I can feel that there's 394 00:27:22,599 --> 00:27:30,079 a distance between us, and I'm okay with that, but they when I 395 00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:34,559 reach out to him, I feel a bit of distaste, like, yeah, 396 00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,319 don't hit me in man, or you know what I mean. Yeah, 397 00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:40,400 I give what you're saying. Um, that's That's what I was just 398 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:41,720 trying to explain, man for sure, for sure, And I think you 399 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,880 know, and I explained mine. Not that I say this kind of response 400 00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:48,079 to what you're saying, but I think like even with the people that's closest 401 00:27:48,079 --> 00:27:51,400 to you, there may be a point in time to where you may do 402 00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:56,440 maybe not as extreme as what you did to your cousin or someone else, 403 00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,200 but there may be a part of you that does that. But a person 404 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:04,000 who unconditioned he loves you will say, Okay, I'm accepting that who you 405 00:28:04,039 --> 00:28:08,920 are in that space and we can communicate about it. Or like you saying, 406 00:28:10,079 --> 00:28:12,759 I don't think, I don't think that unconditional love is something that I 407 00:28:12,759 --> 00:28:17,720 don't think unconditional love is something that you will experience with more than one or 408 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:22,039 two people. I think I think love is conditional on with everybody. And 409 00:28:22,079 --> 00:28:26,559 what I believe that my wife loves me unconditionally. So yeah, yeah, 410 00:28:26,559 --> 00:28:30,000 you know. See what I'm saying is people that I lose they didn't love 411 00:28:30,039 --> 00:28:33,160 me unconditionally. It was a condition. No, no, no, no, 412 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:34,519 I agree, I agree. But what I'm saying is, even if 413 00:28:34,559 --> 00:28:41,000 you did a fraction of what you did to those people you lost to your 414 00:28:41,039 --> 00:28:44,960 wife, it's unconditional. She's going to accept it. It's going to be 415 00:28:45,359 --> 00:28:48,279 that love is going to be there. So but but what I'm saying so, 416 00:28:48,359 --> 00:28:51,839 like with me, for example, I think like my progression as a 417 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:56,880 person has pushed people away, right, so or whoever whoever it is with 418 00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:00,799 them, right like the person I was last year. There's my talking about 419 00:29:00,799 --> 00:29:03,599 you from last year, because you were the person you were last year. 420 00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:06,440 So you fell out with them or you You're like, yo, that's who 421 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:08,680 I was back then. I ain't really that person anymore. I didn't like 422 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:11,519 that person either, you know what I'm saying, or whatever it may be. 423 00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:15,440 And I had to But I had to be that person in order for 424 00:29:15,559 --> 00:29:18,319 you and I to fall out, in order for me to grow to become 425 00:29:18,359 --> 00:29:21,680 the person you're saying exactly what And that's exactly what I mean. So you 426 00:29:21,839 --> 00:29:26,079 lost that You lost that person because of the person you was a year ago. 427 00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:29,039 But you just told someone totally different, so therefore you lost them, 428 00:29:29,039 --> 00:29:32,200 you know what I'm saying. But I think like when someone unconditioned to love 429 00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:33,839 you, you're going through the ups and downs with that person, your wife, 430 00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:37,480 you're going through the ups and downs or who you was a year ago 431 00:29:37,839 --> 00:29:41,599 and who you are today and no matter what, she loved you. You 432 00:29:41,599 --> 00:29:44,319 know what I'm saying, like, and that's what I mean like. I 433 00:29:44,359 --> 00:29:47,119 think a lot of I think a lot of niggas too, a lot of 434 00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:52,319 men, and it's probably where this is probably where we can um go down 435 00:29:52,319 --> 00:29:55,400 to blackwood or rabbit hole. I think that this conversation is going to be 436 00:29:56,359 --> 00:29:57,960 what they really want to hear. I could be wrong, though, all 437 00:29:59,039 --> 00:30:03,799 of this could be good, But I think a lot of men don't know 438 00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:11,839 when to recognize unconditional love. And I think a lot of men don't know 439 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:22,799 that the woman that is going to love them unconditionally might not look the way 440 00:30:22,799 --> 00:30:30,960 that they think. They might not be the partner that they thought they might 441 00:30:30,079 --> 00:30:34,680 need because they don't We don't really know why we are a trait of the 442 00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:38,640 people. We don't. We just you look cute, there's a vibe, 443 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:44,759 whatever. But once you get out of that phase and get into the real 444 00:30:44,759 --> 00:30:48,559 world phase, were niggas got to pay bills together and handle responsibilities together. 445 00:30:49,119 --> 00:30:53,839 There's a different level of understanding that needs to happen. And I feel like 446 00:30:56,079 --> 00:31:00,160 the men, especially black men, we grew up who grew up the way 447 00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:03,359 that well, a lot of us grew up in a single parent household, 448 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:10,039 if if if not a grandparent household. We don't really know how to identify 449 00:31:11,359 --> 00:31:18,599 love correctly because we never really got it from a person that we could fuck. 450 00:31:21,599 --> 00:31:26,079 Did that make sense? So like so like yeah, your mom, 451 00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:30,279 Yeah, your grandma loves you uncadditionally, but you don't know your grandma like 452 00:31:30,359 --> 00:31:34,319 that. You don't know your mama like that, you don't know your daddy 453 00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:37,480 like that. When you fucking when you fucking somebody, I feel like you 454 00:31:37,599 --> 00:31:41,000 just get and you're living with a motherfucker and then you gotta be with that 455 00:31:41,079 --> 00:31:45,160 motherfucker when you don't like that motherfucker. Like when you like, when you 456 00:31:45,279 --> 00:31:48,400 unconditionally the love of person and you're around that person when you don't like them, 457 00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:52,400 you're just so annoyed. Bomb Like when you live in crumbs every fucking 458 00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:56,680 where you ain't fucking clean the tub like you and then one day none of 459 00:31:56,680 --> 00:32:00,200 that shit matters because you out of that you out of that funk. A 460 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:04,119 lot of people would leave that person in that funk because you don't they don't 461 00:32:04,119 --> 00:32:07,119 really understand that this too, shell pass this. This person that loves you 462 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:17,279 unconditionally does warrant the They do warrant that grace of a depression stage or two 463 00:32:17,319 --> 00:32:23,000 weeks or a month or a year of trying to get their emotions in line. 464 00:32:23,079 --> 00:32:24,880 You know what I'm saying, Like a lot of the times we don't 465 00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:30,880 give people unconditional love because it's like a time thing. It's like, yeah, 466 00:32:30,319 --> 00:32:35,960 and I'm saying that from experience. My wife did not have to love 467 00:32:36,079 --> 00:32:45,160 me as good as she did while my head was down in this this very 468 00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:51,640 very cloudy brain of mind of uncertainty of what I was supposed to do or 469 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,519 who I was supposed to be, and an actuality I was who I was 470 00:32:54,559 --> 00:32:59,599 supposed to be this whole entire time. I'm I'm I'm going on this journey 471 00:32:59,599 --> 00:33:04,400 and edge of trying to find who the perfect man to be to be a 472 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,680 father and a husband. It was like, Nigga, because it's kind of 473 00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:09,920 you already, you already was the person. But remember what I said earlier, 474 00:33:10,079 --> 00:33:14,480 she saw something in you that you didn't even see in yourself. Yeah, 475 00:33:14,519 --> 00:33:17,599 but it wasn't something that she never Yes, you're right, the emotion 476 00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:22,599 of whatever it was she saw that and I'm not saying she saw you being 477 00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:25,680 a great producer. She saw you, she saw the emotion of who you 478 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:29,480 were, and she said, I'm gonna stick. Yeah, I'm gonna stick 479 00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,599 with that. Um now, man, but you right, man. As 480 00:33:31,599 --> 00:33:35,880 far as love, here's here's here's a thing, bro. And I'm just 481 00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:39,839 being as vulnerable as possible. Bro. One of the things that as a 482 00:33:40,039 --> 00:33:45,079 growing into being a man, and even till this day, bro is Um, 483 00:33:45,119 --> 00:33:49,920 you're right. We've seen love from Grandma, We've seen love from mom 484 00:33:50,039 --> 00:33:52,359 or whoever it may be. And like you said something that was like, 485 00:33:53,119 --> 00:33:58,680 we never the fear of love as someone you can fuck right, Um, 486 00:33:59,799 --> 00:34:02,200 the thing is, bro. And and to a woman who's listening, man, 487 00:34:02,319 --> 00:34:05,960 like I think with most men, and I can't say, oh, 488 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:12,760 most we are very insecure and we are scared. So when we see that 489 00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:19,239 we bail, we get the fuck out of their dog fear. It's too 490 00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:22,159 serious. It's insecurity. I mean, it's all that's all kind of shit 491 00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:24,440 that goes with it. Right. So um um, it's taken away my 492 00:34:24,519 --> 00:34:29,000 masculinity because honestly, to accept love, bro, you gotta be vulnerable, 493 00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:31,800 and to love you have to be vulnerable. And a lot of men are 494 00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:35,679 not able to do that. Bro, we bail we out. That's why 495 00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:38,599 I gotta have multiple bitches. I gotta have all these different things that make 496 00:34:38,679 --> 00:34:45,119 us feel like a man to where we leave when you see somewhere really loving 497 00:34:45,159 --> 00:34:47,880 your ass, Like damn, I gave this nigga everything. It's the responsibility 498 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:52,440 of love. I think. I think I think that One day I was 499 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:57,199 like, I was like, fuck, man, I gotta wash bottles. 500 00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:01,320 Fuck, I gotta l your kids, teach you how to live. I 501 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:05,119 was like, I got to clean the house. Bro. Listen, let 502 00:35:05,159 --> 00:35:07,400 me go to cut you off. Bro, my son threw up. He's 503 00:35:07,519 --> 00:35:13,000 nine, bro, so his throw up is human food. Just nigga threw 504 00:35:13,119 --> 00:35:15,519 up in the shower, and I just had to be like, I'm daddy, 505 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:21,280 clean this niggas. I'm like, I love you. Fuck it. 506 00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:28,679 I didn't, but you do. You got It's response, and that that 507 00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:32,599 right, there's the responsibility that I think a lot of motherfuckers is running from. 508 00:35:32,599 --> 00:35:37,519 I don't think that they running because I don't think they running. They 509 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:44,199 scared. They scared of responsibility and then running from responsibility insecurity because they might 510 00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:45,480 they don't think they might get him. I don't know. I don't know. 511 00:35:46,159 --> 00:35:49,519 Maybe you can tell me how the insecurity plays a part, because I'm 512 00:35:49,519 --> 00:35:52,480 with you. But I feel like one day now, I feel like one 513 00:35:52,519 --> 00:35:54,480 day I was just doing all this ship and run the house and I was 514 00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:58,800 just like man, and once I was finished, I was just like, 515 00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,719 I'm thankful that I have a family to be responsible for, because a lot 516 00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:05,920 of niggas do not have this. Bro. The insecurity comes in that I 517 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:09,920 might fail. M Okay, okay, that's that's the insecurity of it, 518 00:36:10,159 --> 00:36:14,239 right, Like until you do that shit and you're successful when you pound your 519 00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:16,199 chest like I did that shit. I did that shit good, yeah yeah 520 00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:20,320 yeah. And I made a couple of mistakes, but I did it yeah 521 00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:22,840 yeah, yeah yeah. Most people run because of like, I'm afraid to 522 00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:27,039 fail. I may not be good. I may have to lose my masculinity, 523 00:36:27,039 --> 00:36:30,000 I may have to be vulnerable. Fucking I'm out. I think too. 524 00:36:30,199 --> 00:36:34,440 I think too. For me, A lot of the times I hear 525 00:36:34,559 --> 00:36:40,280 niggas complaining about this aspect of relationships is because the woman that they have communicate 526 00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:45,760 like their toxic mothers. And now don't I don't really think that the women 527 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:47,360 that are communicating that way? Really mean, what what you mean though? 528 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:52,719 Explain it to me, you stupid motherfucker. Why can't you fucking remember to 529 00:36:52,719 --> 00:36:55,639 take the trash out? God did? Like? Why why did they do 530 00:36:55,679 --> 00:37:00,840 that? They talk like their mom? I guarantee you eighty percent of the 531 00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:02,559 win. I ain't a nigga that's gonna look up this research because I ain't 532 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:07,719 nobody doing the research on There's no no fucking dada dada analysis. And you 533 00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:09,639 can't give a number. You can say a lot or most when you get 534 00:37:09,679 --> 00:37:16,960 that most most, Most people, Yeah, communicate like their parents. Bro. 535 00:37:17,159 --> 00:37:21,400 I just had this conversation. I communicate like my mom and my dad. 536 00:37:21,639 --> 00:37:23,639 Bro, I just had this conversation of saying that kids are a reflection 537 00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:28,480 of their parents. Yeah. Yeah, So you you go, you grow 538 00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:32,239 to community, you grow and communicate the way. Yeah, most likely you 539 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:37,800 grow and communicate the way that your parents communicate, unless you go out of 540 00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:40,519 your way to say I'm not going to do that. I'm not I'm going 541 00:37:40,599 --> 00:37:44,920 to break the chain. But if you just go My cousin and went to 542 00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:47,159 prison, man, I use him because I just saw him yesterday. He's 543 00:37:47,199 --> 00:37:52,559 looking very good and I'm so happy for him. He was dating a girl 544 00:37:52,599 --> 00:37:54,079 that talked to him just like his mama talked to him when he was a 545 00:37:54,159 --> 00:37:57,679 kid. That's what he knew. That's what he knew. And I'm in 546 00:37:57,679 --> 00:38:00,960 my mind, I'm thinking, like, Bro, you ain't gonna hit this 547 00:38:00,119 --> 00:38:02,719 Like I'm not. I'm not, I'm not for this. But the way 548 00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:07,719 that she was talking, Bro, I'm like, oh, you must want 549 00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:12,840 to get punched in your shit. That's but I'm but And then he but 550 00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:15,800 he's not abusive, We're not abusive. So then it took him, it 551 00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:20,079 took him over the edge, which made him go do some shit to go 552 00:38:20,119 --> 00:38:22,119 get go to prison, and then had he lashed out, But it wasn't 553 00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:24,639 to the person that he was supposed to, you know what I'm saying. 554 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:31,079 So I feel like black women are like the best at holding a nigga down. 555 00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:36,599 I really do feel like that. I really do feel like black because 556 00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:43,480 because no other race, no other race, This is the point right here, 557 00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:49,480 I'm putting this on page, No other race of people outside of Jewish 558 00:38:49,519 --> 00:38:55,199 people, Jewish women have ever had to stand by their man through the worst 559 00:38:55,599 --> 00:39:02,199 shit in history. Nobody, yeah, nobody, you got motherfucker's getting their 560 00:39:02,199 --> 00:39:07,079 feet cut off. You ain't running no more. You got motherfucker's raping your 561 00:39:07,119 --> 00:39:12,320 wife, the fucking beating your husband, killing your husband, taking your kids, 562 00:39:12,559 --> 00:39:15,639 fucking spitting in your face. You gotta run. We gotta be together, 563 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:19,760 Jim Crow Era, all of this shit they had to stick stick through 564 00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:23,519 that ship. So I do understand where the toxicness come from, because it's 565 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:30,039 just festered up aggression that's been that's been from slavery. But I do, 566 00:39:30,119 --> 00:39:34,760 and I do, and I and I am the type of nigga now I 567 00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:38,719 will keep rereferencing slavery because I do understand now just how detrimental that is to 568 00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:42,760 the Black community, or how detrimental it was to the black community, and 569 00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:47,800 it still is. But black women are awesome are cheerleading, and black men 570 00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:55,239 are are awesome at cheerleading for their wives. The problem is that niggas never 571 00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:59,880 learned how to communicate what their partner effectively. Bro, let me tell you 572 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,920 something, and I'll tell you this, and I agree with you. But 573 00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:06,320 here's the reason why I say, Like, if you look at the pecking 574 00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:12,400 order of humans, black women come last. They come last, bro, 575 00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:17,840 and they come last in life and insects crazy, Hey, and straight up 576 00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:22,159 bro, And here's the thing, and then they still find a way to 577 00:40:22,199 --> 00:40:24,519 love our dirty draws. Bro. Ain't nobody man and nobody loving like a 578 00:40:24,519 --> 00:40:29,880 black woman? Dog? Y'all crazy, y'all crazy. That's why I can 579 00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:32,079 never have it. That's why I can never go online and say anything shitty 580 00:40:32,079 --> 00:40:36,920 about women ever. And I'm like, man, black woman loved me, 581 00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:39,880 nigga, black woman love me? Man, you go all the way from 582 00:40:40,079 --> 00:40:45,519 from from grandma to all the way to your girl, bro, and no 583 00:40:45,599 --> 00:40:50,800 black woman loving you like but not the person, but the person who can 584 00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:55,880 cause the most hatred hatred is a black woman. Like, don't get it 585 00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:59,559 fucked up. My grandma is the most, the most spiteful bitch I ever 586 00:40:59,559 --> 00:41:01,639 met him my life. She's the most she's the most hateful person. And 587 00:41:01,679 --> 00:41:07,760 it's probably like that because of a man. No, it's probably it's probably 588 00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:10,360 because of that because she's she's in her seventies and they grew up, they 589 00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:14,079 grew up in a very different time. You know, old kids, Like 590 00:41:14,199 --> 00:41:16,440 I always say, man, old people and kids, they're gonna give you 591 00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:19,760 the truth, them too, them too, right there, you're gonna if 592 00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:22,119 you want some truth, talk to a kid and an old person. But 593 00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:27,480 noah, man, I think, uh, I just I'm I'm going to 594 00:41:27,559 --> 00:41:30,840 Gary soon to go to a funeral, but I'm taking my recording equipment and 595 00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:34,159 I'm gonna record my grandparents. Bro, I got an episode with my grandma, 596 00:41:34,199 --> 00:41:37,199 my favorite episode ever. Yeah, I'm gonna record. I'm gonna I'm 597 00:41:37,199 --> 00:41:38,599 gonna just say, hey, can y'all just please record with me? Bro? 598 00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:45,079 That's my I promised that's my best episode because I just sat down and 599 00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:49,039 was like, like our normal conversations that we have if I go over there, 600 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:51,400 and I just asked her come up with you them and she was like 601 00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,960 yeah, and we just I never, I never, I never really have 602 00:41:54,039 --> 00:41:59,079 too many conversations with my grandma by herself is usually my grand part and my 603 00:41:59,159 --> 00:42:02,360 grandma and he'll be and he'll if he can't remember something, he'll ask her. 604 00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:05,760 She's like, yeah, it was finish, it was eight, it 605 00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:08,800 was eighty five, it was eighty five, it was six because blah blah 606 00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:13,519 blah. But even my grandparents them being together for you know, for my 607 00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:20,679 entire life. Um, just seeing them grow and now seeing them old, 608 00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,320 you know what I'm saying, Now seeing them old and seeing that Man and 609 00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:29,679 Sierra kind of resemble that, like finishing sentences and the way we joke because 610 00:42:29,719 --> 00:42:34,519 my my grandparents joke like they do not like each other, bro, And 611 00:42:34,559 --> 00:42:37,880 it's the funniest thing in the world. Bro, It's the funniest shit in 612 00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:40,639 the world. Like they they bicker, like they do not like each other. 613 00:42:40,679 --> 00:42:45,239 But I'm thinking in my head like it's either that or it's super lovey 614 00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:47,960 dovey, which is gonna get annoying, you know what I mean. But 615 00:42:49,559 --> 00:42:52,800 love I mean the thing, the thing about the thing about social media, 616 00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:59,239 to think about TV, to think about movies all as being a nigga that 617 00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:02,039 rights and being a person that's trying to write to a demographic. So say 618 00:43:02,119 --> 00:43:07,039 like I got a demographic of I got it my black Wood or demographic is 619 00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:13,840 ninety percent black women from Dallas, Indianapolis, Chicago, Atlanta, and DC. 620 00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:17,480 So basically Houston, Houston, and Dallas is high So all of the 621 00:43:17,559 --> 00:43:22,000 chocolate beautiful women too out there, all of the all of the chocolate cities. 622 00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:25,599 No disrespect to DC because that's the name, that's the name of that 623 00:43:25,599 --> 00:43:30,440 that's a nickname city. Oh no, it's that's North Kasta. No chocolate 624 00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:35,400 cities d okay um, But all of my all of my listeners are black 625 00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:38,119 women from these areas, and I'm trying to this whole journey. Bro has 626 00:43:38,159 --> 00:43:42,440 been trying to create content to to you know, you've been, you've been 627 00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:45,639 in the most We've We've tried to do episodes that I've never put out because 628 00:43:45,639 --> 00:43:52,320 it's like that ain'tnna work. But creating for my audience versus creating what I 629 00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:55,679 want to see not the same thing. So like you can turn on the 630 00:43:55,679 --> 00:44:00,000 TV and you might not see a good representation of black love because but that's 631 00:44:00,039 --> 00:44:05,039 boring. Yeah, man, Tyler Perry, I mean Tyler Perry, he 632 00:44:05,079 --> 00:44:07,159 does not do a good representation the representation of black love. That's my point. 633 00:44:07,199 --> 00:44:08,960 That's kind of what my point is. Like, you know, I'm 634 00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:13,639 sure he has a different perspective, but he's like, Yo, this works, 635 00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:16,400 this works. This works. So it's kind of like, you know, 636 00:44:16,639 --> 00:44:20,159 you want to put out you want to put out good imagery of black 637 00:44:20,159 --> 00:44:23,320 people in black love and stuff like that, but it's like you gotta I 638 00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:28,840 mean stories and stories and they the hero arc is the hero arc for a 639 00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:32,519 reason, and you gotta, you gotta kind of use it to tell stories. 640 00:44:32,519 --> 00:44:37,320 But man, I love I love black women to the top. Like 641 00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,960 they fucking look so good. Oh my god. It's kind of like it's 642 00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:45,800 kind of like when you really really hungry and thirsty and you go to a 643 00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:50,679 restaurant and they put the food in the window. Bro, that's what Instagram 644 00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:52,000 is like. You'd be like, oh my gosh, she looks so good. 645 00:44:52,079 --> 00:44:54,320 Oh my god, she's so fine. And then I'll be looking at 646 00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:57,320 my wife and I'd be like, oh my god, she's so fine. 647 00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:00,239 She got stretch marks because of the babies. Oh my god, lovedy stretch 648 00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:01,599 marks. And I'd be looking at my mom differently. Now I'll be looking 649 00:45:01,599 --> 00:45:05,079 at my aunt different I'll just be looking at all the black women in my 650 00:45:05,119 --> 00:45:07,159 life, and I'm not looking at the women on Instagram like the pieces of 651 00:45:07,199 --> 00:45:10,679 meat. But some of them can be pieces of meat. Yeah, But 652 00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:16,960 I'm also respecting the journey that these black women that I've been um, that 653 00:45:17,039 --> 00:45:21,400 i've been close to my entire life. I'm now looking at them and recognizing 654 00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:24,000 their journey. Were talking about yesterday, were talking about, you know what 655 00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:30,079 my mom and my aunt had to endure when they were younger, and how 656 00:45:30,119 --> 00:45:32,000 that and how that shaped us. And I'm like, man, I just 657 00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:35,800 I appreciate y'all, man, because y'all could have dropped the Nina off the 658 00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:37,639 barre fish. Yeah. Man, it's funny you say that, bro, 659 00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:40,599 Like uh, kind of kind of going back to something you was just talking 660 00:45:40,599 --> 00:45:45,119 about with your grandparents. Um, Man, you know, you see me 661 00:45:45,159 --> 00:45:46,880 at the gym, but I'll talk to the old white dudes because I didn't 662 00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:50,840 play racketball with him or whatever. But this one dude came up to me. 663 00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:52,960 Man, he was like, uh, he said, how old are 664 00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:53,719 you now? You know? I told him. He was like, man, 665 00:45:53,760 --> 00:46:00,880 one thing you can do is um one thing that I was told when 666 00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:06,360 I was younger is to look at someone who's twenty years older than you that's 667 00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:08,760 still in the gym, and you know, like, okay, I can 668 00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:12,559 be doing that in twenty years. And one of the things, and I 669 00:46:12,599 --> 00:46:15,719 say this to say, like, and one of the things I didn't do 670 00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:20,639 when my grandfather was here in a relationship you was talking about with your grandparents. 671 00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:22,480 When he told me that, I thought about this. I was like, 672 00:46:22,519 --> 00:46:27,320 man, I remember as I got older, I understood my grandfather more 673 00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:30,639 and more. My grandmother was like the strong black woman. She was always 674 00:46:30,639 --> 00:46:35,079 the one talking. She was always the one in every blue moon. I 675 00:46:35,119 --> 00:46:38,000 would hear my grandfather say, even if she's getting on him or whatever, 676 00:46:38,039 --> 00:46:40,519 I'm like, Grandpa, say something, why aren't you saying nothing? Like 677 00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:44,639 I sent him back in my head, that's what I'm saying. Every blue 678 00:46:44,639 --> 00:46:46,519 moon. My grandfather would say, all right, now, Margaret, that's 679 00:46:46,639 --> 00:46:52,840 enough every blue moon. And I thought about that. I'm like, Grandpa 680 00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:57,199 only responded when it was time for the important, like okay, now, 681 00:46:57,239 --> 00:47:00,039 this is enough. This is my voice. And I had to learn that 682 00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:04,400 is as a man, sometimes you don't have to say something every time, 683 00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:06,599 you know what I mean. You don't have to respond to every little thing. 684 00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:08,480 It don't have to be especially when you got to shoot it. That's 685 00:47:08,519 --> 00:47:12,159 talked for you. And I was like I had to look at that and 686 00:47:12,519 --> 00:47:14,719 like, all right, cool, Grandpa. I learned. I'm like, 687 00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:17,159 damn, that's why Grandpa was so much at peace. That was why he 688 00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:21,400 was like, all right, let I let Margaret talk. All right, 689 00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:22,920 okay, Mark, all right, that's enough. Right, you know what 690 00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:28,119 I'm saying that she was hoping. Yeah, he had to be like, 691 00:47:28,199 --> 00:47:30,000 all right, Margaret, that's enough. Yeah, yeah, a lot of 692 00:47:30,039 --> 00:47:31,800 the times, a lot of a lot of men don't have that respect from 693 00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:36,000 their wife. Yeah, man to be like all right, baby, who 694 00:47:36,039 --> 00:47:37,960 the fuck you? Yeah, it's almost like, you know, if you 695 00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:40,039 whoop your kid all the time, he's gonna be looking like all r I 696 00:47:40,039 --> 00:47:43,639 didn't have had this whooping enough, Like I got to bring that out with 697 00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:45,760 my special move. That's what I was called, Like my whooping to my 698 00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:49,440 son is like all right, this is gonna be like, you know, 699 00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:51,960 a WWF back And they had to do the special move at the end. 700 00:47:52,199 --> 00:47:54,000 If I keep doing that special move, they're gonna be like it ain't special. 701 00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:57,639 So I had to do that when it came to discipline, and I 702 00:47:57,679 --> 00:47:59,840 looked at that like, damn, you just start looking at all that stuff, 703 00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:01,679 like, Man, you ain't gotta be loud the whole damn time. 704 00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:05,880 Bro, Sometimes you can just you ain't gotta fight every fight, you know 705 00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:08,280 what I mean. You ain't gotta fight every fight the same way. Yeah, 706 00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:10,199 I'll be trying to come on, I'll be trying to tell them why 707 00:48:10,239 --> 00:48:14,760 I'm that o mind. I can't. I can't. I can't. I 708 00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:16,480 can't discipline my son in the way that you think that I should discipline my 709 00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:19,920 son because I don't want to have the relationship that you and I have. 710 00:48:20,119 --> 00:48:22,519 But with my son Boom, I have to. I have to. I 711 00:48:22,559 --> 00:48:24,800 have to curate this. I have to curate this relationship. Very I'm conscious 712 00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:28,840 about this. I don't think that they were as I don't think that my 713 00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:31,079 my my folks could have been as conscious as as I am, because the 714 00:48:31,159 --> 00:48:36,840 situations were so different. They were so broke man whether like, I don't 715 00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:40,920 think people understand just how how broke the world really is and how much how 716 00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:45,679 that affects people's decision making. Yeah, and their inability to love, because 717 00:48:45,679 --> 00:48:51,880 they if you keep the motherfucker down and impressed and then tell them that they 718 00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:55,360 aren't anything unless they bring something to the table, they're gonna believe that they're 719 00:48:55,559 --> 00:48:59,679 they're not anything. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. You're keeping the 720 00:48:59,679 --> 00:49:02,440 motherfuck keeping you, keeping your foot on somebody's neck, and you're put in 721 00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:06,480 a threshold on how much money they can make. Well, well, one 722 00:49:06,519 --> 00:49:07,519 thing, you tell them they could be anything and that they want to be. 723 00:49:08,039 --> 00:49:12,760 That's a that's a mistake. That's because you can be whatever you want 724 00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:15,079 to be, including a bump you're telling people that could be whatever they want 725 00:49:15,079 --> 00:49:19,239 to be, and then they become whatever they want to be, and then 726 00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:22,840 you don't give them enough money, and then you tell them that they aren't 727 00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:27,039 as valuable to their family unless they bring and money. And it's kind of 728 00:49:27,079 --> 00:49:31,239 hard to love yourself when you believe that you don't bring any value to the 729 00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:37,320 family because now you tied your value to valuables. Yeah, you know what 730 00:49:37,400 --> 00:49:38,960 I'm saying. So it's it's like as a man, especially as a black 731 00:49:39,039 --> 00:49:40,920 man, like that's why I feel like, that's why we have so many 732 00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:47,320 incarcerated. It's because niggas will do anything for that paper. Yeah, for 733 00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:52,639 no reason. If you if you are if your if your value is tied 734 00:49:52,679 --> 00:49:55,480 to money and you feel like a woman will only love you for money, 735 00:49:55,599 --> 00:50:00,400 then that's not unconditional love and you don't want that. Yeah, man, 736 00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:01,960 I think it's just I think what's gonna have to happen, bro you know, 737 00:50:02,079 --> 00:50:05,920 because I think it's going to continue to be that way for your son, 738 00:50:06,039 --> 00:50:09,360 my son until a woman says like look and and and there are some 739 00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:15,280 women out there saying this like, um, don't have the city girl mentality, 740 00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:17,159 like broke niggas don't do that, you know what I mean? Until 741 00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:22,280 that, I always say, man, women they set the tone of what 742 00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:27,239 men do. Everything we've done, most of what we've done, I'm trying 743 00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:30,079 to do it for the one I'm trying to do. The car we drive 744 00:50:30,159 --> 00:50:32,079 away, we dressed the way, and it's like, it's for the women. 745 00:50:32,119 --> 00:50:35,360 Man. Until I always told when I worked in when I worked in 746 00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:37,079 the school, I was like I told the little girls I was working. 747 00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:42,880 Until you say sagging his pants isn't sexy or you don't like that, he 748 00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:46,599 gonna keep doing it. Man. And that's the thing when it comes down 749 00:50:46,599 --> 00:50:52,159 to a man and money means this. That was That was. That was 750 00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:54,800 Nick Cannon's whole thing about that movie about Chicago but Shaw, that was his 751 00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:59,360 whole thing is to get the girls to say that this shit is not cool 752 00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:01,159 nor more. Yeah. Yeah, but he corny, so he can't say 753 00:51:01,199 --> 00:51:06,079 shit. I don't know why Nick Cannon corny, But Nick Cannon corny. 754 00:51:06,239 --> 00:51:10,559 You know who else is corny? DJ Callot, Yeah, he's extreme. 755 00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:14,239 I don't like I think I think DJ Kali is a character. I bet 756 00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:16,159 if we sat down with him, he wouldn't be there. I think when 757 00:51:16,199 --> 00:51:22,519 you say play record, he turns into DJ Kalet because he has respect from 758 00:51:22,559 --> 00:51:25,360 a lot of people that would not respect that corny. I think he hits 759 00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:30,679 play when it's time to hit record. Yeah, he does all that. 760 00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:32,199 I don't think he's like that twenty four seven. I don't give a fuck. 761 00:51:34,639 --> 00:51:37,760 I don't give a fuck about not under that. Whoever you are when 762 00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:40,920 you press play, I do not like. Man. You can't say that, 763 00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:44,000 bro, because you just sat there and said, when it comes to 764 00:51:44,039 --> 00:51:49,360 social media, you have to put out content that's not even that's for the 765 00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:53,760 fans, okay, or you cannot cater to them. Yeah, and then 766 00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:57,400 he wouldn't be called. You don't have to You don't how to record. 767 00:51:57,719 --> 00:52:01,159 He don't have to get on the treadmill. He could lose weight. The 768 00:52:01,239 --> 00:52:05,840 fact that he's been on Weight Watchers, he was a brand ambassador for Weight 769 00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:08,719 Watchers. It's marketing dog. They do everything for that dollar dog. I'm 770 00:52:08,719 --> 00:52:13,039 telling y'all, bet you he not liked that. But fat well, Yeah, 771 00:52:13,039 --> 00:52:15,800 that's different. I think it's shaped like an Ranger team bro. That's 772 00:52:15,840 --> 00:52:21,440 why we know. We know the Weight Watchers is fake. I don't like 773 00:52:22,119 --> 00:52:28,960 niggas with money that still are fat, because as a man, why are 774 00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:31,840 you still fat if you have money? If you got money and you got 775 00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:37,800 a schedule, that means that either you have a health problem, which is 776 00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:39,679 which is okay? And this might be this might make even mad too, 777 00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:43,960 but I feel like the only reason my wife and a lot of the black 778 00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:46,320 women that I know the gain weight. The only reason why they gain weight 779 00:52:46,599 --> 00:52:51,679 is because they don't have the time, the money, or the energy because 780 00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:54,440 the way that they life set up. Women who got money in time, 781 00:52:55,039 --> 00:53:00,119 they ain't fat like that, they don't gain they don't just or they they 782 00:53:00,159 --> 00:53:01,480 got kids. It's it's so many different situations. So I don't want to 783 00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:05,519 make it sound like I'm just putting down people, but I just don't like 784 00:53:05,599 --> 00:53:10,360 the fact that you was on Snapchat on in the gym every morning and you're 785 00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:15,559 still fat. I think it's his marketing dog he was selling ellipticals. No, 786 00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:20,320 I'm saying, I think his marketing is what you'll see with Klid. 787 00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:23,079 We expect him to be with a shirt off, fat, We expect him 788 00:53:23,079 --> 00:53:25,480 to be loud. We don't think you don't You don't think he could be 789 00:53:25,519 --> 00:53:30,280 marketed as he was skinny? Nah? I think because he's already created the 790 00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:34,440 lane that he's in. It's like Ross Ross is losing weight, but he's 791 00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:40,079 still fat boy Ross. He called itself that fat boy Yeah, yeah, 792 00:53:40,079 --> 00:53:45,920 man, but slim thug on fat Mac. But yeah, in regards to 793 00:53:46,039 --> 00:53:51,239 we can record because I don't need to get this accord to it. I 794 00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:58,320 just I just unconditioned, unconditional love is so hard to identify. Yeah, 795 00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:05,199 I agree, it's so hard to identify because if a person that loves you 796 00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:09,400 unconditionally tries to motivate you to get out of a slump that you are in, 797 00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:14,559 it almost can look like they aren't accepting you for who you are currently, 798 00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:16,920 and it's not the case. That's key. I just want you to 799 00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:20,760 get out of this funk. I love you, I'm gonna love you regardless, 800 00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:23,440 but I just need you to grab my hand please. And the thing 801 00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:29,800 about being in a depressive state is that you don't believe that any hands reaching 802 00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:31,679 down trying to grab you out is a good one to grab. Yeah, 803 00:54:31,719 --> 00:54:36,320 and that's what's really unfortunate. I agree, Bro, that's that's key what 804 00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:40,039 you just said. But then I think that's when it goes to that person 805 00:54:40,079 --> 00:54:47,360 that loves you true unconditional love. They learn your language, they learn you 806 00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:51,639 know, they learn you you know what I'm saying, and then name and 807 00:54:51,679 --> 00:54:54,719 that takes time, and that takes gentle hands and time, and they know 808 00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:59,199 how to they know how to speak your language to get you out of that. 809 00:54:59,559 --> 00:55:00,559 So, yeah, man, I think I think it's tough. Man. 810 00:55:00,599 --> 00:55:05,079 I think unconditional love one is tough because you have to learn how to 811 00:55:05,119 --> 00:55:08,840 love yourself before you're able to give it to someone else or you know, 812 00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:13,960 accept it, accept yourself. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's so hard 813 00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:17,480 as especially as a man, as as as as insecure as I may be 814 00:55:17,679 --> 00:55:22,280 some days, as as scared as I may be some days. It's kind 815 00:55:22,280 --> 00:55:25,519 of hard to look in the mirror and accept where I am because so many 816 00:55:25,599 --> 00:55:30,159 times I feel like I felt like I'm only in a situation because I haven't 817 00:55:30,199 --> 00:55:35,360 been granted the opportunity that I think that I'm grinding, busting my ass for. 818 00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:37,199 Yeah. So it's like I don't want to accept who I am today 819 00:55:37,239 --> 00:55:40,079 because I don't want to be here anymore. Yeah, I don't. And 820 00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:50,559 I think acceptance means I think sometimes acceptance could mean um, accepting less than 821 00:55:51,360 --> 00:55:54,440 and it's not it's not like I just lost my thought. If you accept 822 00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:58,639 yourself as a version, as a lower version of yourself, it does not 823 00:55:58,719 --> 00:56:01,960 mean that you are okay being at that level for forever. Yeah, it 824 00:56:02,039 --> 00:56:07,000 does not mean that just because I'm just because I'm down today and I accept 825 00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:09,760 that I'm down, does not mean that I'm okay with being down. Yeah. 826 00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:12,800 Man, it's tough too, because like if you think about it, 827 00:56:12,840 --> 00:56:17,000 bro, like like you said, looking in the mirror and having to accept 828 00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:23,280 who you are at times, it almost feels like you're giving up, you 829 00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:28,639 know what I'm saying, And we have to sometimes just have to have to 830 00:56:28,679 --> 00:56:32,280 accept the reality of what it is. But then we think like, well, 831 00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:36,159 I'm not motivated. I gotta stay motivated, and then you end up 832 00:56:36,199 --> 00:56:37,280 lying to yourself and then you get it, you know what I mean. 833 00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:40,239 So sometimes, like you said, like I think you almost have to accept 834 00:56:40,639 --> 00:56:45,679 the reality, and your reality may be low at that moment, you know 835 00:56:45,719 --> 00:56:50,119 what I'm saying. And I mean, that's it hard, bro, what 836 00:56:50,360 --> 00:56:52,360 man, I don't lie to myself so many times, dog, and that 837 00:56:52,519 --> 00:56:55,840 line that fake it to you're making shit. It's hard, man. I'm 838 00:56:55,840 --> 00:57:00,440 talking about lying to yourself when no one else knows that you're lying to yourself. 839 00:57:01,039 --> 00:57:04,880 I ain't doing that shit again, and you think in your heart, 840 00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:07,519 I ain't doing that shit again. But you know something deep, something I'm 841 00:57:07,519 --> 00:57:10,360 gonna tell you. I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna tell you something I 842 00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:15,880 only told my wife. Now I'm telling it to all the listeners. When 843 00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:20,599 I was twenty something, I wanted I wish I didn't want my dick anymore, 844 00:57:21,119 --> 00:57:25,119 m because I felt like I felt like my hormones was making me make 845 00:57:25,199 --> 00:57:29,400 choices that I didn't really I didn't necessarily want to make. I got you, 846 00:57:29,639 --> 00:57:31,559 and I was just like, I don't need this. I don't I 847 00:57:31,599 --> 00:57:34,960 don't really want to. I don't want to have to deal with this because 848 00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:39,119 and that's usually when we lied to ourself. When one thousand percent, bro 849 00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:44,159 one thousand, I never do. You're wicked, Like man, I did? 850 00:57:44,239 --> 00:57:49,239 What? What? What? Who didn't get so Horny just started doing 851 00:57:49,239 --> 00:57:52,079 them all? You Like, what the fuck? Now? It makes sense 852 00:57:52,079 --> 00:57:54,679 when they say that horny is the devil's work. Man. Now Now, 853 00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:59,599 like like when I really all the things that all the old motherfucker was telling 854 00:57:59,599 --> 00:58:00,920 me when I was younger, and now I make all the sense in the 855 00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:06,119 world because I'm never horny when I sucked my wife. I'm not horny when 856 00:58:06,119 --> 00:58:07,880 I have sex with her. I need to have sex with you because I 857 00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:10,559 want to have sex with you. It's it's like playing basketball. I don't. 858 00:58:10,800 --> 00:58:15,159 I don't. I don't want to go to the gym. I have 859 00:58:15,239 --> 00:58:16,280 to go to the gym. It's something that I have to do. I 860 00:58:16,360 --> 00:58:19,239 have to fuck my wife. I have to please her. I have to 861 00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:21,039 rub on her. I have to let her know that I love her. 862 00:58:21,159 --> 00:58:24,320 It ain't know. Oh, I'm just horny. Back in the day, 863 00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:30,079 nigga, I used to just be horny, like uncontrolla, it'll be horny. 864 00:58:30,119 --> 00:58:32,719 I had to jack off all the time, especially like you know, 865 00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:39,599 like teenage years early early twenty what I'm like, Bro, this is ridiculous, 866 00:58:40,280 --> 00:58:44,239 this is awful. I don't want this, Bro. I used to 867 00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:46,360 say, man like jagging off and just like being on that horny time. 868 00:58:47,119 --> 00:58:52,000 Man. It used to bro on everything. Bro. It used to exert 869 00:58:52,119 --> 00:58:57,079 so much energy, energy, effort and time. Bro, you look up, 870 00:58:57,079 --> 00:59:00,760 you're like, damn looking watching porn for three hours for one scene. 871 00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:02,960 I've never had that, maybe not three hours, that's but but but I'm 872 00:59:02,960 --> 00:59:06,679 just giving that time. I don't I don't want to. I don't want 873 00:59:06,719 --> 00:59:07,760 to throw you under the bus like that, because that was that was why 874 00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:12,519 why I just threw you under the bus. And that's crazy. But okay, 875 00:59:12,599 --> 00:59:15,920 let me make clear. Hold that not three that's what regardless of however 876 00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:22,199 long it is. And that three hours might translate to me for talking to 877 00:59:22,239 --> 00:59:24,239 a new girl, driving to a new girl house. That's horny times, 878 00:59:24,239 --> 00:59:28,440 that's horny times. That's three hours, yeah, or whatever. And Bro, 879 00:59:28,639 --> 00:59:30,840 I put it like this, and I think I've said this on the 880 00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:32,920 nights or talking to be or whatever I said. Bro, you can watch 881 00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:39,159 you can watch porn for almost forty five minutes to an hour to find one 882 00:59:39,199 --> 00:59:43,079 scene to jack off too. That's a lot of time. Dog, you're 883 00:59:43,119 --> 00:59:45,880 just exerting of nothingness is looking for that long? Bro? Why do you 884 00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:50,559 keep saying such long? That's an episode of this is us. Bro. 885 00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:53,400 I've scared You've never got lost in the work point? Are you crazy? 886 00:59:53,440 --> 00:59:57,840 Bro? No, I definitely have got caught in the rabbit hole of porn 887 00:59:57,880 --> 01:00:00,800 if it's going to the next scene, okay, cool, especially not DVD 888 01:00:00,960 --> 01:00:05,559 porn. In that porn, nigga, If you don't go to that search 889 01:00:05,639 --> 01:00:07,960 bar nigga and type in what you're looking for. Bro. But this, 890 01:00:08,119 --> 01:00:13,360 this, this all looks the same now you do not in your horny time, 891 01:00:13,400 --> 01:00:15,000 Bro, Aren't you talking about the horny time that I'm talking about? 892 01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:17,480 No, no, no, I've never I've never. I didn't have I 893 01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:21,880 never had porn. I never did the port when I was at hornytime, 894 01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:23,719 I was. That's that's what. I couldn't jack off the thoughts. I 895 01:00:23,760 --> 01:00:28,920 had to see visual Broh, I can't. I couldn't jack off the thoughts. 896 01:00:29,519 --> 01:00:36,960 I gotta have some visual, man, I can't think about I used 897 01:00:36,960 --> 01:00:42,000 to spank, pank material deck, bro. I got to see a stranger 898 01:00:42,159 --> 01:00:47,599 on the on the screen screen man porn. Man, I don't even want 899 01:00:47,599 --> 01:00:50,800 to go down the rabbit hole of the porn. But that's what what happened 900 01:00:50,800 --> 01:00:54,920 when you and No about a conversation. Yeah, I don't any time, 901 01:00:55,280 --> 01:01:00,840 because horny time to me was the peak, like senior year and then like 902 01:01:00,159 --> 01:01:04,639 freshman sophomore year of college. Bro. Yeah, man like, and I 903 01:01:04,679 --> 01:01:07,719 don't like that. I don't. I don't know, man, And I 904 01:01:07,719 --> 01:01:13,079 feel like and I feel like I feel like, damn, this is an 905 01:01:13,119 --> 01:01:17,559 epiphany moment. Right now, I'm only in hornytime when I'm down and out 906 01:01:20,559 --> 01:01:23,639 never have never have I ever been up ever? No, that should hit 907 01:01:23,679 --> 01:01:28,199 me out of it everywhere wherever, Bro, there's somebody right now that I 908 01:01:28,239 --> 01:01:32,519 am following. I'm following maybe at three to four accounts on Twitter that repost 909 01:01:34,039 --> 01:01:37,400 porn. I love that, Bro, I know I love that. No, 910 01:01:37,519 --> 01:01:38,679 let me tell you why. I don't know. Don't open that app 911 01:01:38,760 --> 01:01:43,639 that's my don't open that fucking and I don't know who it is. I 912 01:01:43,639 --> 01:01:46,599 gotta find them and make sure I unfollow them and the other Twitter because I 913 01:01:46,599 --> 01:01:50,280 got two twitters. One is like porn and then the other one is like 914 01:01:50,360 --> 01:01:53,440 my real life. I gotta go to open that, Doug. I don't 915 01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:57,880 like doing that because out of nowhere it's mid day, I'm finding, like 916 01:01:58,159 --> 01:02:00,800 the hell you got your kid? Yeah, I can't do it, dog, 917 01:02:01,159 --> 01:02:04,760 never, I gotta unfollow them. Dog, I never opened that Twitter 918 01:02:04,800 --> 01:02:07,440 aff. Bro, they're doing the most. Yeah, they're reposting. I'm 919 01:02:07,480 --> 01:02:10,840 like, oh, what they like or what they and to be heat too 920 01:02:12,440 --> 01:02:15,320 some and to be heat somes never seen porn across my time, and that 921 01:02:15,360 --> 01:02:17,760 wasn't heat man. I don't on Twitter? Is imna have to follow. 922 01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:20,679 I'm gonna have to find out who it is. It's like And it's something 923 01:02:20,719 --> 01:02:23,559 about those videos on Twitter that HD is just crazy girl squirted on the screen 924 01:02:23,639 --> 01:02:28,440 they got I jumped back on it was crystal clear. I think about opening 925 01:02:28,440 --> 01:02:30,000 it up in public. I can't do that though. I'm not opening my 926 01:02:30,039 --> 01:02:32,719 Twitter and I want to. You are a heathen bro, I want to 927 01:02:32,760 --> 01:02:37,079 open That's why I gotta unfollow them. Why are you opening your Twitter in 928 01:02:37,079 --> 01:02:38,880 public? Because I get on Twitter out of boardom and if I'm in a 929 01:02:38,920 --> 01:02:43,000 place and like, let's say I'm in line. That's what Instagram is for. 930 01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:46,760 Yeah, that's not what Twitter for. Twitter is just for opinions. 931 01:02:46,840 --> 01:02:51,599 But like, I like Twitter better than Instagram. What for sure? Nah, 932 01:02:51,840 --> 01:02:55,440 I like Instagram better than Twitter because Twitter got some stuff going on over 933 01:02:55,440 --> 01:02:59,400 there that I really ain't really even giving. The Yeah, the porn, 934 01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:01,280 the squirting. I like that. And you open up in public, that's 935 01:03:01,320 --> 01:03:05,679 the best part about don't Hey, well, not when Vine had porn. 936 01:03:06,239 --> 01:03:12,239 I never was on Vine. Never what six second porn was heat Nigga never 937 01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:15,840 did six second porn was heat bro. It was heat bro. It was 938 01:03:15,880 --> 01:03:19,880 heat. I was so mad when it took poorn off of But porn to 939 01:03:19,960 --> 01:03:22,599 me, porn to me is just I don't compare to women. The women 940 01:03:22,639 --> 01:03:27,360 that I like in real life, I don't watch them in porn, don't. 941 01:03:27,400 --> 01:03:29,719 I don't. My type in real life is not the point that I 942 01:03:29,760 --> 01:03:31,119 want now point that's a fan. That's a different world, that's a different 943 01:03:31,199 --> 01:03:34,840 like you go into a different space when you watch porn. I don't expect 944 01:03:34,840 --> 01:03:39,440 the one out I'm with or anyone to have porn is almost like reality TV 945 01:03:39,679 --> 01:03:43,920 is not real, you know what I mean? But what what what you 946 01:03:44,039 --> 01:03:45,480 like? Yeah? What you expect and yeah, you ain't gonna get that 947 01:03:45,519 --> 01:03:47,880 from no. I saw somebody say, if you want to know who they 948 01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:51,320 like, go today history. I was like, nigga that if you go 949 01:03:51,400 --> 01:03:52,480 through the my history, you'll be like, damn, this nigga is a 950 01:03:52,519 --> 01:04:00,840 creep. And but the I've never now, I don't think about I don't 951 01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:06,679 even think about sex outside of black Widow like that m at all because it 952 01:04:06,760 --> 01:04:12,599 don't bring me no money. Yeah, outside outside of pleasing my wife, 953 01:04:13,760 --> 01:04:16,000 sex does not bring me any money. And sex is a is a chore. 954 01:04:16,480 --> 01:04:19,639 It's something that me and my wife doesn't have don't have time for it 955 01:04:19,639 --> 01:04:24,239 anymore. It is one of those things that if you value, if you 956 01:04:24,320 --> 01:04:27,519 put so, if you put a lot of emphasis on sex in your relationship 957 01:04:27,880 --> 01:04:30,760 and it comes to time where y'all can't have it, you're in trouble. 958 01:04:30,159 --> 01:04:32,960 Man. I never been that person, bro, I never. I never. 959 01:04:33,119 --> 01:04:38,320 I've always been a cerebral person. So sex, of course, what 960 01:04:38,320 --> 01:04:40,360 do you mean by because I don't know. I don't really know what that 961 01:04:40,400 --> 01:04:42,719 means. So I've always been a person. I think you and I both 962 01:04:42,719 --> 01:04:45,199 have been. I think I think I could probably say you a cereal person. 963 01:04:45,239 --> 01:04:47,719 You're like you want to talk to someone and like it's more than just 964 01:04:47,760 --> 01:04:51,400 a physical aspect of it. So I've always been like that with like since 965 01:04:51,440 --> 01:04:55,800 I was younger, bro. Like that's why I've never been able to just 966 01:04:55,840 --> 01:04:59,039 been doing like one night stands and just having like a booty call. I'm 967 01:04:59,079 --> 01:05:00,920 like, yeah, I gotta get to know this person, Like yo, 968 01:05:00,960 --> 01:05:01,800 what oh No, I could do that, nah, man. I've never 969 01:05:01,880 --> 01:05:04,639 been that person. Bro. I've never just been on some booty call that's 970 01:05:04,639 --> 01:05:10,599 just my my Like, I'm just there are certain instances to where it's just 971 01:05:10,639 --> 01:05:15,840 like it's energy man. Yeah, man, but energy I gotta have. 972 01:05:15,119 --> 01:05:18,800 The energy comes from talking to him, like, damn, I can't just 973 01:05:18,840 --> 01:05:24,880 go blast you. Who What do you mean by that? What do you 974 01:05:24,920 --> 01:05:27,880 mean by what do you mean by one? Nice stands? You mean? 975 01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:30,039 You mean you mean a girl to me tonight? You mean going? So? 976 01:05:30,119 --> 01:05:34,320 Are you talking to the club or nine? I mean loud ass? 977 01:05:34,800 --> 01:05:38,920 Are you talking to the club or n Yeah, let's say you're talking how 978 01:05:38,960 --> 01:05:41,280 long? I don't know what I mean? What time you get to the 979 01:05:41,280 --> 01:05:43,239 club. Let's just say a couple say it out. Get there to nine, 980 01:05:43,239 --> 01:05:46,639 you get there to nine? Man, big into the club at nine? 981 01:05:46,800 --> 01:05:49,480 Okay? Nine, okay, let's get you get you get to nine. 982 01:05:49,559 --> 01:05:51,639 Create, create, create the scene. I get there at nine, 983 01:05:51,639 --> 01:05:54,960 you get there nine? Okay? She show ups at ten? Yeah, 984 01:05:55,239 --> 01:06:00,400 talking to ten thirty? Okay? Hookaspike closes at three three thirty. So 985 01:06:00,079 --> 01:06:03,199 you're talking the whole time? Or you talking about and if and if y'all 986 01:06:03,239 --> 01:06:05,639 talking from ten thirty? Okay? I create to create the scene. Let's 987 01:06:05,639 --> 01:06:09,679 say I talked to her from ten thirty to three thirty. That's not enough 988 01:06:09,719 --> 01:06:11,480 time to go fuck her? No, no, no, no no. 989 01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:15,679 If I fucked because we exchange good energy and we've realized we liked each other 990 01:06:16,079 --> 01:06:19,920 more than likely we're probably going to end up again. That's not the one 991 01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:25,119 I'm standing. Are you right? I don't do one understands That's what I'm 992 01:06:25,159 --> 01:06:30,039 saying. Yeah, yeah, we're doing this again. Yeah we couldn't. 993 01:06:30,079 --> 01:06:31,679 We had a good connection, you know. Boom, that's the energy. 994 01:06:31,880 --> 01:06:39,000 But just like just off some oh yeah and I'm out. And I know 995 01:06:39,079 --> 01:06:42,280 that's crazy. Bro. I've never been able to justss crazy. But there's 996 01:06:42,320 --> 01:06:45,599 people who can do that though. That's crazy. That's no way I can't 997 01:06:45,639 --> 01:06:48,719 do gross. I gotta know something about you, you know what I'm saying. 998 01:06:48,719 --> 01:06:51,679 I gotta like I don't know people who know you. I don't even 999 01:06:51,719 --> 01:06:55,360 have to do that. We just gotta have a good connection. No energy 1000 01:06:55,440 --> 01:07:00,199 gotta be great. I need to cross reference your references. I definitely need 1001 01:07:00,239 --> 01:07:01,800 to know who you know, why you know them, And I need to 1002 01:07:01,840 --> 01:07:04,079 know. I need to be able to I need to be able to hit 1003 01:07:04,360 --> 01:07:08,719 hit somebody up on my way to your crib and they do you know so 1004 01:07:08,760 --> 01:07:12,920 and so they're cool? Yep, all right, bet I need You're not 1005 01:07:12,960 --> 01:07:15,840 getting a response at three in the morning. Who not if I text you 1006 01:07:15,880 --> 01:07:19,119 at three, if you text me atybody like yo, e I met I 1007 01:07:19,119 --> 01:07:21,719 met this girl named Sheila. Now, but at ten thirty you might I 1008 01:07:21,760 --> 01:07:25,639 ain't gonna text you then, Oh then you might not. That's what I 1009 01:07:26,719 --> 01:07:30,480 might not, might not? You might not. But it also depends on 1010 01:07:30,559 --> 01:07:32,719 if I like if you, if you meet somebody and we can stop regarding 1011 01:07:32,719 --> 01:07:39,199 out of this, we're going everywhere. If you meet somebody on and in 1012 01:07:39,440 --> 01:07:45,239 person and you ask for their socials and you don't have any followers in common, 1013 01:07:45,280 --> 01:07:50,639 I'm not working with you. I know a lot of people social media. 1014 01:07:50,719 --> 01:07:55,440 I know a lot of people via the city, a lot of people. 1015 01:07:55,440 --> 01:07:58,519 If we're the same age, and that means that you went and you 1016 01:07:58,559 --> 01:08:02,920 went to school here and I don't know nobody that's following you, that's troubling. 1017 01:08:03,599 --> 01:08:06,719 I could see that, bro, I went soever. I went to 1018 01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:12,760 three different middle schools, two different grade schools, and two high schools. 1019 01:08:13,519 --> 01:08:15,720 Yeah, you should have someone in common, nigga, what um? What 1020 01:08:15,800 --> 01:08:18,680 if she's just not a social media person. I don't give a flying fuck. 1021 01:08:18,920 --> 01:08:23,399 My wife and a social media person, we have mutual friends in common. 1022 01:08:23,920 --> 01:08:26,720 Do you think it's if a person tells you they don't have social media 1023 01:08:26,880 --> 01:08:30,239 at all, is that now my wife's I got social media? Is that 1024 01:08:30,279 --> 01:08:31,520 red flag? No, she ain't got social media. No, I mean, 1025 01:08:31,560 --> 01:08:33,640 I mean, I'm just saying like, no, my wife don't have 1026 01:08:33,720 --> 01:08:36,199 it. Yeah, So it's not a red flag. I understand it. 1027 01:08:36,199 --> 01:08:41,039 I didn't never be like that's kind of cool. Sweet, sweet, she 1028 01:08:41,119 --> 01:08:46,319 didn't stalking me because because because my social media activity is a little bit different, 1029 01:08:46,439 --> 01:08:48,920 I've had you probably had to do with this, like we're having a 1030 01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:53,000 podcast. I've had to be on my phone constantly, Yeah, constantly looking 1031 01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:58,079 at content, constantly thinking about topics, constantly, emails, and just being 1032 01:08:58,159 --> 01:09:00,159 social on Instagram because you gotta it's kind of like networking. You kind of 1033 01:09:00,159 --> 01:09:03,760 gotta be in comments and liking stuff and this and that. That's why I 1034 01:09:03,760 --> 01:09:08,279 hated it. That's why I'm not Yeah, but I liked it. But 1035 01:09:08,399 --> 01:09:12,279 I also understand why my wife hated it because I was never present, you 1036 01:09:12,319 --> 01:09:15,000 know what I mean. So now I'm gonna be on my phone with that. 1037 01:09:15,279 --> 01:09:17,880 Yeah, Man, I hate I hated it, bro I hated having 1038 01:09:17,920 --> 01:09:24,960 to stay active on social media. I hate I hated that. Though I 1039 01:09:24,960 --> 01:09:27,000 hate it, you just wanted to talk. You just wanted to pot. 1040 01:09:27,520 --> 01:09:30,039 Man. Yeah, I don't want to do that. You gotta follow this 1041 01:09:30,079 --> 01:09:34,600 pot you gotta brote. That's not it. Man. Well this conversation was 1042 01:09:34,640 --> 01:09:36,880 great, Bro, this is the first. This is how many times have 1043 01:09:36,960 --> 01:09:40,800 we doing this? Two? Maybe two or three? You did on to 1044 01:09:40,880 --> 01:09:43,720 my show a couple of times. I want to have been on your show 1045 01:09:43,760 --> 01:09:46,520 once. No, Bro, we did it one time here. Actually one 1046 01:09:46,520 --> 01:09:49,319 time we did at the hotel, and then we did it here before it 1047 01:09:49,399 --> 01:09:53,119 was just me and you the uh at one time. This is a great 1048 01:09:53,159 --> 01:09:56,680 conversation. Man, we're about to get this fake love session. Then he 1049 01:09:56,840 --> 01:10:00,960 is going to play the character josh U. Man, you had met somebody 1050 01:10:00,960 --> 01:10:04,119 else though I did not. Man, I'm promised I did not. I 1051 01:10:04,159 --> 01:10:09,319 ain't been studying the wrong person at bro, just person. I changed it 1052 01:10:10,600 --> 01:10:14,960 all right, let's get it. Yeah, I changed it. But we 1053 01:10:14,960 --> 01:10:16,359 will see y'all when we see y'all. Thank y'all so much for listening to 1054 01:10:16,399 --> 01:10:18,079 Thank y'all so much for supporting out