Made a decision face sunny sound, I had a vision. So oh oh
okay, ready start the show, bitch. All right, this is a
very special episode. If we're crying out loud, it's a Saturday and we
have no Kaylin and we're flying by the seat of our pants. Alan is
malingering. Yeah at the ERM. Now, malingering is a good is a
pretty good word. Do you know that vocabulary word? Yes? And I
just want to tell you that I've just had the most judaic thought I have
I've ever had in my life, and I caught it in real time.
I was like, I don't want to talk about Kylin's health situation because if
it goes sideways, this is going to be so awful and sad. Because
you'll hear this, You'll be like, remember when we were all laughing and
we thought it was funny and then and then it took a turn. We
don't think it's funny. It's just what's funny is how inept Lynnette. How
Kaylin was like, you guys, I'm in the yard. We're like,
he's going to produce our show though. We have a special guest in our
studio today, and that is the one and only Teresa Strasser. I am
here to always think about the worst case scenario in every situation and prepare you
mentally for how things might go badly. You know people say about you,
Teresa, what they say she's a really good broadcaster. Oh yeah, professional.
What does that mean? It means that your voice is soothing. You
you bring it, You understand what the people want. You know how to
how to bring the drama, but also bring pull the drama from others.
I were a narrative storyteller. Thank you. You're a great writer. Thank
you an amazing writer, which is one of the reasons why you're here,
one of the many reasons. So I just want to say before because you're
not going to say it about yourself, but I want to say you probably
heard me say it that you sent me the book. I was, I
don't want to make this about me, but I was in the middle of
my own writing hell and Teresa said, could you please read the book and
possibly, you know, if you have time, like no pressure, like
give me a blurb. And I was like, yes, I will,
And then but I was writing, you know how that feels. I was
under so much pressure. But I started reading her book and I was like,
oh my god, I cannot put it down. I was crying immediately,
and then I was texting her just constantly, just going, oh my
god, how am I going to continue writing when now I have like I
have to live up to this. It's so good. It's beautiful. The
writing is gorgeous, but the story is just like I'm telling you, she
knows. This girl knows how to write emotions, yes, and make you
cry right wow, even happy tears. It's not like it's super depressing.
It's no. I thank you so much for saying that. My friend Ben
Mankowitz, who you may know from TCM, he's got a pocket square and
he introduces movies and his brother Josh Mankowitz is on Dateline. Oh yeah.
He and I worked together at TMZ for like six months and it was like
a bond that you that that for life will be yeah, because it was
so horrendous for both of us. There's nothing wrong with that show. It's
just we we shouldn't have been there, um, and we knew it immediately,
and so we're like, oh my god, we're going to get fired.
Who's gonna get fired first? How much do you make? How much
do you hear, so you you were like writing gossip. Yes, but
oh sorry. Ben was like, uh, te people are gonna think your
books really depressing. You have to like make sure that people know that it's
funny. You have to lease. People don't want something that's too griefy.
So yes, it's it's not too griefy, it's it's got baseball. It
takes place during the course of one single season of a Little League that I
watched with my dad, um after my brother died, and my dad and
I sort of accidentally turned little League into our grief group. But there's a
lot of baseball in between, so there are a lot of scenes. In
fact, my grief counselor. It sounds like I have a regular grief counselor,
but I go to her like once every month or every six months or
whenever I need great grief counseling. But I was going to her a lot
when my brother was terminal, which was for six months, so they said
he had six months to live, and he lived six months and ten days.
Six months would have been on his seven year old's birthday, so I
was really happy he didn't he didn't die on that day. Hey, Ben,
I just made it too griefy. I made it too griefy. I
fucking just did that. Sorry, never to grief. I swear it's not
all that depressing. But I was talking to her and I was telling her
about the book, and she said, oh, that's adaptive oscillation. It's
like, what's that. Well, she treats people who are grieving like she
treats really intense, awful grief situations. She's amazing at it. And she
treats a lot of kids, um and who've had like awful death situations in
their lives. And she said adaptive oscillation. For example, she tells people,
if you can go back to work, you should. If you can,
if you can, you should, because you need a break from your
grief so you can go in and out of feeling awful. And I would
say that's true of anything a divorce, something that's really like you need breaks
from thinking about it. And so I guess I naturally fell into a rhythm
in telling the story where something is intense and it's painful, and but the
but the season of baseball is a framework, and so it goes back and
forth in time. So you return to little League and me and my dad
talking shit about ten year olds and him day drinking at the at the trailer.
So it's not like Stephanie knows so like you, you may shed a
tear, but it's not like this book is unbearable, Oh my gosh.
Well, Teresa's obviously a naturally funny person, a funny writer. So there's
lots of funny scenes, there's lots of there's laugh out loud moments for sure,
thank you, And I will say there was So when you write a
book and Stephanie knows this, your publisher asks you to get blurbs, so
you have to reach out to notable people, and it's horrendous. If you're
an introvert, which I am, it's so terrifying. And so Stephanie was
like a safe, a safe person. I was like, she's going to
be my first person. And then you were so fucking nice to me,
and you were so nice about the book. And I will say that you
were on Penguin, my publisher's list of people that they wanted. There was
a list of funny female writers and I saw Stephanie Wilder Taylor. I'm like,
oh no, that because you're like gettable, highly gettable. And then
and then your blurb was so beautiful, and you know, not that many
people had seen my book when you saw it, so it felt very vulnerable
and I was so I was just so relieved that you liked it. Well,
I just want to say that I felt a lot of writing pressure to
write your blurb because I was like, here, I am like the writer
who's writing the blurb that you went to, And I'm like, what if
my blurb sucks you too. I gave you like four of them. I
was like, just pick whatever you want, or combine them, or rewrite
it, rewrite my blurb. Stephanie knows this, But Lynnette, this might
be a surprise to you. Do you know, you see blurbs like on
the cover of a book, it'll say, you know, yeah, this
is whatever, this is the best book I've ever read. Yeah, this
book isn't too griefy, yeah, ben Mankoitzum. But you have to ask
people, and a lot of that process, at least for me, when
you're a low level writer like me, you write the blurbs yourself and then
you submit them. Oh, and then somebody chooses one to take all of
the calorie burning out of it. Oh that's how I got from my first
book, I got a blurb which one on the cover and in retrospect,
I don't know if it was that helpful, but at the time, my
first book was a pregnancy, humorous pregnancy, like a collection of essays,
and the person who had the biggest book was Jenny McCarthy. Yeah, I
was explaining my Yeah, Jenny McCarthy was like the biggest blurb you could get
because she had the most successful things. That book Belly. That motherfucker still
sells, Like that book is hugely successful. So to get hers, I'm
like, I have to write a blurb that's so funny, she's gonna want
to have said it. And that's how I got her. I think it's
not it's not even that good. I mean I wrote ten and they were
all basically equal. I don't know. You're a game show writer, so
you're like, Rubens, yeah, I'll submit ten. I did. I
was like, kill nine of them. I was like, you'll kill nine.
Here's an ALT and another ALT and another alt. You gotta do this
for me, Jenny. Um. I think it was I just I read
her book, and I just I I think I absorbed her style because you've
got to write the blurb in the style of the mark. Yeah, right,
I laughed so hard. I took a ship on the table. So
close, it's so close it was. Um, I laughed my ass off,
which is great because now I don't have stretch marks. Oh like it?
Good, like it. That's great. So she goes, you know,
I'll take Yeah, makes her look witty, But it was really nice
with her actually because she didn't she didn't need you to do that, right.
Um. I got a blur from cal Ripkin Junior that was that's amazing.
That amazing. I saw that. Yeah, that's awesome. I had
to work my connection to Google. Oh is that what you did? Yeah?
Oh, I googled how to reach cal Ripkin Junior. That's how you
got him. Yeah. Well I thought you're shy, I know. But
when I'm shy in person, right, But I'm a different person when I'm
writing, and very uninhibited. When I'm right, I don't kill about fuck
what anybody thinks. When I'm in a room here, I'm like terrified to
do or say something weird or inappropriate or basic or stupid or unfunny or embarrassing.
But on the page, I don't have any of that. I'm too,
I'm a different person. Yeah, because you're great, You're a good
writer. You know, you're confident. That's amazing. So yeah, we
didn't even say the name of the book, making it home life lessons from
a season of Little League. Yes, and available now on AMA, go
to Amazon. Little Boy would be story for you about about So first blurb
I had was Molly Shannon, because I had that's a great friend of her
friend she was. It was a great quote she and she I honestly don't
know if she'd read the Galley, I don't know. But a second book,
I so Chelsea. I was friends with Chelsea. That was, by
the way, getting Chelsea. That's the blurb. Like at that point in
time and even now, but especially then, if you had a Chelsea blurb
on the cover of your book, it was a bestseller. But here's the
problem. Do you want to hear this the I want all the problem?
Yeah, So Chelsea was my friend kind of when the first book came out,
but when the second, So when the second book was coming out,
I guess we were still friends at that point and then she sort of blew
me off. But right before that, she'd she'd given me a blurb kind
of before she blew me off, and I'd asked her if I could you
if I could, if she would I could use a blurb for the cover,
and she said yes, And then I had to write myself the blurb,
which my editor, Patrick Price, he wrote me like a really funny
one and it was very much in Chelsea's voice. He's really funny. So
she approved the quote. Anyway, it goes out. The first copies of
the book have the have her quote. She contacts me and Legal like,
I don't remember I mean this. I've tried to block out the story.
But basically, she said, you can't use my quote on the cover of
the book. I never said you could use it on the cover. Nobody
ever my name is not on the cover of anybody's book but my own,
and made them reprint. Oh my god, Holy my jaw is dropping.
That's insane. It was so embarrassing because I was supposed to be friends with
her too, you know what I mean, Like why people were like my
book company was like, why is she being such an hard ass? Why
is she writtening like legal action? And I was like, I don't know.
I had a very bizarre experience that I was going to talk about more
on Patreon and when it happened, Stephanie, I really wanted to call you
because you've written a lot more books than I have, and you know this
world better. Um, I just I can't. I can't. I don't
know who to talk about it with. But maybe listen. Maybe I'll give
you the broad strokes here and then on Patreon. And that's what you call
a deep tease. Remember how you said I was a good broadcaster. Yeah,
look at me easy. But okay, wait, so before you tell
that story, let's talk about our first sponsor of the day, which is
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and then getting that bad feeling like too much energy. This is this is
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Yeah, that's nice, Jack, Oh my gosh. They have a whole
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Yes, love it. Okay, all right, tell us, yes,
all right. Teas, deep teas, deep teas. I just have
to interrupt myself to say that, Lena, I'm so fucking happy to see
you. I am just so happy to see you, happy to see you.
I know a lot's changed for you since I've seen you last, and
lots lot of change happy, happy to see you. Let's acknowledge that you
two started this show and you stud you it was you two. I was
a guest on your show. I loved it, you guys, and I
remember thinking, like these guys, I really I idolized Lynette when I was
little. I did when I was little, idolized Linnette because you were so
like you were family to us. And I've been going through old emails recently
because of stuff, and I found so many emails from us, like exchanges
with you and I about the show, about our podcast, when we had
our meeting at your house before launched. Remember that Kathy yes with Katy ever
talked to Kathy and Donnie. Hell no, they sued us. Fuck those
fuckers now, he said, it suck those fuckers. This is just such
a tea filled episode. Fuck, I'm spilling it all. But you know
I that you won't have to worry about again. There's so many right why
I'm spilling all the tea and then I will never be heard from this ship.
Yeah right, okay, that's okay, No, go ahead, it's
fine. Um yeah, no, I just I remember coming over to the
house in the Hollywood Hills. Is that how you where you would describe it.
It had the pool in the in you could see the pool through the
bar. Oh yeah, and like I'm a lowly mechanics daughter, like when
I have not seen anything like that in my life. Yeah, and Adam
was my boss. I was like, oh my god, he loved you.
He loves you to this day. Well, last night talked to him.
He was real. Thanks, he was. He was really good to
me. I was just thinking about the day he called when Danny Bonaducci was
being removed from his post. And I've been thinking about Danny because I read
yesterday that he's having brain surgery. Oh my god, Yeah, he's had
some I've heard that that he's had some health is. Yeah, some some
like neurological things are very difficult to diagnose. And I don't think they know
what's what's wrong with him. And he, by the way, I've got
no shit to talk about him. He was really good to me. And
I also think he's an entertaining broadcaster. And I know that's not a popular
opinion with Corola fans. It is a certain flavor and it's not necessarily the
people who like what Adam does that appreciate what Danny but I enjoyed him and
he was very kind to me on a on a personal level, so like
I genuinely wish him well. But Adam called me and I got like a
stomach ache because I saw his phone number and I he that like made me
so nervous, and I was like, fuck, I gotta pick this up.
And it was just him saying, I think that you should talk more.
I think that you can pick up what Danny was doing. I don't
think we need a Danny or a Damn a Check or anybody else. I
don't need anybody else. You be my Robin. Talk more because all you
need is reps, and you'll be as good as anybody. Yes, I
remember, And it's just as one of those things that like, you know,
infiltrates your DNA on a level and you're like, okay, well he's
really successful and he never bullshits right, so if he's saying that, right,
he means it. Yeah, maybe you know, maybe I should talk
more. Yeah, And he did, and you you were great and the
fans love you definitely. Well, it's easy to love me now that I'm
gone. It's like a country song, I can miss you now that you're
gone. If I were back in two weeks, they'd be like, shut
up, you talk too much. Don't step on Adam. Leave the jokes
to Adam. But I was there, and you, like, you had
kids before I did, and I just felt like, it seems like,
I know, this isn't true always that he doesn't. It isn't always what
it appears. But to me, everything seemed easy and casual, like the
way you were with your kids, which just seemed like natural and uh,
and like you knew what you were doing and you weren't agonizing over every little
thing. Maybe you were, but it didn't look like it. Oh,
thank you, thank you. Well. I mean, when you have twins,
it's like, you know, like you just gotta jump in and do
it for the first time too, Like first time you have a child and
you have two of them, you have no choice. You got to survive.
I do. I do remember Adam being upset that you wanted to pay
for the family photos, and he, in his mind, you should be
taking the family photos of the kids. Oh. I took him to Sears.
Yeah, he was like, you're wasting all that money. It's just
take right now. Yeah, he was not. I like a wealthy person
that pinches a penny. Yes, well, he's got those pictures, by
the way, hanging in his office, So you're welcome the seous pictures.
Yeah. Yeah, that's hilarious. So read my blur of the So.
So here's something that I don't like. I don't like this fact, but
this is a fact. The men who I reached out to for blurbs were
amazingly generous. Like cal Ripken Junior is probably one of the greatest athletes that's
ever lived. He has a consecutive game streak record that will not be broken
ever. Player Right, I was gonna say, were you into baseball before
your kids? I did not. I watched my brother when he played.
He played little league, he was a he was an all star okay nearby
in Santa Monica. So I watched him, and I get really nervous watching
him. Nervous when he was at the played and nervous when he was at
first base. He was a lefty like my son Nate, which this making
at Home is about, is about, like sort of the resurrection of my
brother that happened during this season. They were born on the same day,
September twenty fourth. Wow. Ye, both lefties. And both love love
baseball and kind of like they have the same walk. It's like a genetic
thing where there's a certain kind of feel toe Gate. And like Nate who's
now thirteen, the season takes place when he was nine. When he's thinking
and he kind of looks up, it looks exactly like my brother. Oh
wow, yeah, it's got They're very similar, even though they really know
each other very well. I mean, I have like pictures of my brother
Morgan holding Nate, you know, and and and Nate. You know,
we went to visit a lot when my brother was sick, but Nate was
you know, little and whatever. But there's just like a through line genetically.
And also baseball is a weird thing because I know you guys are huge
sports fans. So I'm telling you something you already know, Stephanie, I'm
gonna blow your mind. You know, there's a lot of sports. You
got your soccer, your football, and your hockey, golf, golf,
bowling. Here's the thing. Ball sweeping the fucking nation. It is my
dad plays every day, won't shut up about it. Baseball has no clock,
so it's mathematically feasible for a baseball game to go on forever, right,
So what do they do if it's really just going on way too long?
They just well, games have been rescheduled, like a world series has
been rescheduled, like if it's raining, you start. But you know,
so it hasn't happened, but it's mathematically possible. So there's there's a feeling
that it's it's immortal, that it's connecting the you know, the living with
the dead. And that's why there's field of dreams and angels in the outfield,
because there's something about it. I'm not just saying this, but movie
rights are going to be sold to your book. It is so cinematic,
is very cinematic and touching, but a big story but also a very small
story. Do you know what I mean? Well, that's my dream.
I think Henry Winkler shaves his head, plays my dad wins an oscar.
Oh yes, girl, he's so good and he's so nice. So he
love this book. How did I get into Hell? I know it,
tweeted him. Yes, Yes, I've worked for Henry and he's a very
nice, approachable man. Don't you think it's time for him to do a
serious dramatic role. Well, he's on Barry right, Yes, yeah,
he's very good. It's comedic, comedic. Yeah, yeah, I mean,
look, you gotta have chop with be comedic. Yes, this is
your dad's kind of funny. He's very Yes, he is funny. It's
grumpy. He's Grumpy's can't tankerous. He takes chus. He drinks the Kirkland
tequila to take the edge off. He's got ear hair, nose hair.
Where's Micra? You know? I loved and then well we'll get back.
I know we're getting we're getting to blurb talk based cal Rifkin talk. But
I just wanted to say that one thing that I really appreciated about the book
is that even though your dad is still alive and was you knew would be
reading this book, she doesn't hold back like there's a lot of mixed feelings
about the dad. And I felt like I've written books and had to talk
about my relationship with like my parents, and I just love that you didn't
really hold back like you, but it was still controlled. It wasn't like
you were right. And I talk about this a lot with like writing students.
You weren't writing at him, but you were writing as if he wasn't
reading it. Even though I'm sure you knew he was going to read it.
But that means that like he was going to have to like stand tough
and hear what you had to say, but also with so much love,
so you know, but with the I love when when you were talking about
almost like having your dad kind of give you the ick, like I just
I can't be around him, like I'm getting it's so uncomfortable sometimes, and
I think that's such an important thing to be honest about. Well, I
was very embarrassed a lot of times, especially when he first came to live
in Phoenix with us after my brother died, Like, well, what do
you you know? You might as well come live near us, and it's
a nice community. The book is about Arcadia Little League. Arcadia is like
a very range rover kind of place, and other people's dads belong to country
clubs. And my dad would take his bike to the game. Hey,
he does not have a car. He exclusively rides a bike. I don't
know if you guys have heard this, but Phoenix can be pretty hot.
So he'd show up there and then he wouldn't have a bike cover, but
he'd want to cover his bike to protect it. So he'd use a sheet
like a lime You could use a white sheet, but why when you got
a lime green was it a fitted sheet? Yes? Oh my god.
So it's like there's my dad's bike in the outfield where he'd lock it up
for all everyone and their range rovers and a lime green sheet over it like
Neon where you couldn't miss it. And then he would wear the LCRA and
like, you don't want to see a man who's seventy five and you see
his ball outline and then he doesn't have a lot of his teeth for real,
real, like he doesn't I'm not exaggerating. And then he shaves his
head because he doesn't want to pay for haircuts. Smart, so he's like
ball, but often like he uses to shave it, he uses the razors
from the ninety nine cents only store, of course, so there's always like
scabs, okay, and a lot of times there's blood, like a crusty
blood drip on his head right then a lot of nose hair, ear hair.
Then after my brother died, he developed blaff ro spasms, which is
like, I it's it's neurological, it's related to Parkinson's and it kind of
comes and goes, and I feel like the dust at the ball field would
really make it bad, and the spasms and his eyes would kind of like
go down to his jaw so like he'd catch your eye because he's like a
seventy five year old in lycra with his balls like a tight outline. And
then you're like you look, and when you look, you're like, oh
God, what's that guy fucking doing with his face? And he's just like
he's blinking and twitched, twitching. Yeah, and then obviously he's in clothes
from Walmart and there's a lot not that there's anything wrong with that, but
he's got the dickies and there's always like crumbs, pretzel crumbs, right,
And it wasn't like what I had in mind, you know. Like I
remember when I started working for Adam and he was so shocked because he just
thought like, well, Teresa's dad must be like an English slit professor or
something or a doctor yea, because like Jews don't live in trailer parks and
fix and fix cars, right, But but Adam likes that better though.
Yeah, I had a real blue collar upbringing, like my dad always had
the grease under his nail he had, like mechanics have a certain kind of
soap. It's like a pomisey. It's in a bucket, it's on the
you know, I could like still smell valet. Yeah. But I love
being in my dad's garage. I was real happy. I worshiped my dad
when I was little because I didn't live with him, so I always wanted
to be around him. What does he think about the book? Oh,
well, thank you for saying that it is. I think it's a pretty
fair portrayal of him. Is he ultimately is kind of the hero of the
story, which wasn't my intention. I intended for that to be me,
And how fucking great I am. Look at me getting over grief and learning
all about baseball because I really wasn't an expert. I had to learn to
speak baseball. Yeah, and then you know, maybe a half or three
quarters the way through the book, I was like, oh, if this
is the hero's journey, the heroes my dad because he's the one that travels
away from home and returns a different person, and the way that he did
and does grief, Like if you think about what he's been through, like
I can't even it's very hard for me to think of it from his perspective
and the fact of him giving me the ick. I was just thinking that
when somebody is sick, especially a long illness like cancer, there's just a
lot of awful times where you're crammed in an awful hospital room or an awful
rehab center where they send you, know, because he couldn't go home and
my sister in law couldn't take care of him. It's like he was big
and you can't like move him around and stuff. So we had to find
all these places to like warehouse him in between being an ICUs and this went
on. He was terminal for six months, but he was sick the second
time for maybe two years, and my dad quit working, was with my
brother all the time, would stay in his hotel room for literally like weeks
on end, and shower at the hospital. Yeah. So like what he
owed he repaid, Yeah, yeah, for sure. Wow. Yeah,
but it doesn't take away from the fact that he owed. And you have
resentments from being young, which you talked about in the book, and you
had some shitty things happen in your upbringing, which I know, look,
I know from having chaotic childhood. Stuff that you try to be fair,
you try to not write about stuff coming from like being that age and like
I'm so mad, and like again writing at the person, which you did
not do, but you had to give an honest portrayal of the things that
you You were still dealing with resentment. So it's really hard to just step
out of your own story and go, yeah, but he's great now and
he was great to my brother, like you've got and that's a very uninteresting
story. It's only interesting when you really cut down to the bone, like
what really was it like and why was I resent when? By the way,
speaking of having the ick, my brother and I used to text back
and forth because my dad's fucking chewing was so loud and annoying, and we'd
be in a tiny hospital room, like you know, hour after hour after
hour, my dad's sound of his chilling, and I'd be texting and be
like, it's really bad right now, Yeah, yeah, it's I And
I have all these old texts from him still in my phone of like,
how's dad is he? Because at one point my dad was reading like a
seven hundred page biography of Herbert Hoover, and so he would start talking to
you about Herbert Hoover, and it would go on for like forty five minutes,
and he would not be able to take in that you were not listening
and that you were any Herbert Hoover seven hundred pages. And I've text my
brother like his dad talking about her? Is he talking to you longer than
the actual term of Herbert Hoover? Do you wish it had never been?
Did your brother ever go, dude, I only have six months. It
feels like, hey, wait, this is making my life feel longer.
This is great, Dad, go on, tell me more. Did he
have a second term? I think he did. I'm not good with my
presidential but I did learn a lot about baseball. In fact, there's a
lot of scenes in the book making it home life lessons from a season of
literally where where my dad take a moment and go buy the book? Yes,
thank you, it's in paperback, straight to paperback. Yes, that's
awesome. Yeah, so you learned a lot about baseball. Yeah, Like
there are things that are you have to learn, like, for example,
what is a murderer's row? Yes, I've heard about that. I'm gonna
guess. Can I guess? Please? Because I probably is it when you
have a bunch of good pictures coming up that is so close? That is
really close? Is it when the crows come and bombed. That's a good
guest, because a group of crows is a murder, right. A murderer's
row is a is a lineup that's really good, like your leadoff hitter,
you're number two, the clean up. You said pictures they throw the bars,
I meant batters. Why would think a picture? I think I feel
that I picture like, why would a murderers row? Like you have eight
pitch like the pictures are eight deep. We if you have to go to
your eighth picture, shit is gone very wrong. You do not want that.
But in Little league you sometimes do have to go pretty deep into your
bullpen. There's also a battery. That's the combination of the picture and catcher.
I didn't I didn't know what that was. The confusing thing to me
was the take sign, Like my dad go, oh, coach my husband
was coaching. Coach has a take sign. I'm like, oh, take
the pitch. Yeah, take the pitch, so swing at the pitch.
No leave The take means leave take a take like if you if you see
a kid in the batter's box, right, and a pitch comes in and
the kid doesn't swing, you'll hear a lot of good take, good take,
Are you right right? That means it's good that you didn't swing right?
Got it? That's confusing. I don't. That's like a who's on
first? What did you take his leave? You know? That's what did
you travel with the with the team? Well, that year they did do
all Stars, Nate did did all the Georgetown on the East Coast. Well,
since that season, Nate still plays. He's he's now um heading into
his he's thirteen, but next season will be his fourteen. You season,
wow, So we've done a lot of traveling with with with him, you
know, like UM Vegas, California, all over Arizona. It's probably a
horrible idea because he's a pitcher and there's a lot of um arm injuries that
happen from living in a warm climate like here in California, like pitching too
much, so you try to limit it, you know, to like seventy
five pitches. Stephanie knows that. But he's big easy. It's hard because
he's he's talented and he's a big lefty and that's what coaches like to see
and so it's hard to not use him if you have him in your bullpen.
So as parents, and it's also like, here's a here's a sort
of a deeper issue that I think pertains to any parent, whether your kid
is good at chess or baseball or in your case, volleyball or debate team,
there's a part of your ego that's like I made that, Yeah,
fucking made that, fucking human being. I'm the mother of fucking dragons.
And You've become so attached, like and I don't want to admit that to
myself because I'm not like a baseball dad where I need my kid at home
run. But but I'm like worse. I'm worse, you know, because
I love it, Yes, Like I love being Nate's mom, and then
at times when he's struggling or in a slump, I feel so like deeply
for him that it hurts way more than it should, and I worry about
it way more than I should. I what is volleyball like that? Oh?
Yeah, yeah, she was doing. I mean she just was so
into volleyball and that's all she like. She was so disciplined, she was
so I never had to go like, Okay, we gotta get up and
let's go to the tournament. She'd be like up in the morning, making
her eggs and doing her you know. So. But then when I go
to the tournament, I'd watch her and I'm like, oh my god,
that's my daughter. Like she's kicking ass. You know. It's just so
it's so fun. But then when she she had this issue with a coach
at school that just crushed her spirit and she got burned out and she'd recently
quit. She quit, Yes, that's it, but she quit. But
she's now filling her time with going to Barry's boot camp three days a week,
six am, and going to jump Lab, which is where she was
going for conditioning for volleyball and stuff. Still doing that vert training, Yes,
you can tell him an athlete, mom, Yeah yeah, vert training.
Yeah yeah. So it's just that coach. Though maybe she'll go back
to it. Well, she's going into senior year and she's just not she
does not want to play. It's the coach at high school. So she
was on the high school team and she was also on a travel club team.
So but she just quit all around, she just got burned out.
I understand. I think that's a big danger with the club sports. It's
too much. It's all year round. It's not just a seasonal. In
our day, you played during volleyball season, and then you couldn't wait for
the next year, yes to do it again. And now it's everything all
the time. Yeah, all year round. Yeah yeah. So cal Rifkin
you learn you you got him. I googled how to reach Cal's hilarious,
so I still can't believe it when I so I wrote a letter to I
found like ten email addresses and I wrote to every single one of them.
I'm like a weirdo. I locked myself in my office and I was like,
I'm I'm going to give this my best swing. I'm swinging big Daddy
hacks, only I'm swinging for the fences, like if I can get cal
Ripken Jr. Because the according to my publisher, it's women who buy books.
So even though I semi knew a baseball player who's very famous named Kirk
Gibson, he very famously hit this World Series home run and if you guys
haven't seen it, you should YouTube it, even if you don't give a
fuck about baseball. Because he had an injured two injured legs. It was
like a hamstring and a knee and he wasn't supposed to come in. It
was like at the end of his career. He was old World Series and
the skipper you know, calls him in and he cannot run. He's so
injured. He can't. He can only hit a home run because as you
know, then you can take twenty minutes to run around the bases. He
had to hit one out and he does so it's like one of the greatest
moments ever in baseball. But nobody people do not know his name unless they're
baseball fans, women who might buy my book, like it won't have meaning
to them, which it should. Everybody should know Kirk Gibson. He's like
an incredible athlete and a great guy. He raises a lot of money his
Parkinson and so he and I know him because I hosted a benefit for his
foundation in Detroit. Um so I but I would tell people like and they
go who like a lot of baseball moms, they didn't know that. But
everybody knows cal Ripken Junior because of his He also has a sports league for
kids. It's like a little league, and um, he just has a
record that won't be broken. So everybody knows his name. So that's why
I was like, I could envision it. I'm like, I see it,
I see it. I'm gonna have to manifest this like oprah. Um
when when I so I wrote, I wrote his one of the people wrote
me back and I was like, oh my got And then I wrote another
letter that I craft like. I spent longer on the second letter than I
did on like chapters of my book, Like I mean, I like wrote
it and rewrote it and honed it. And then he said, well,
Cal's traveling, let me pass this along. And I waited and waited.
In a couple of weeks later, um, we exchanged a couple more you
know things. I sent him the book and then I kind of had to
put it out of my mind. And one day I opened my email and
all it said was how's this? And then there was a blurb from Cal
Ripken that was like, you know, a couple inches long and it was
stunning, like it was beautiful, and yeah, I said, this is
a wonderful book. Um, like it basically was like something it felt like
I had written right, And then yeah, I would just I did.
I did a happy dance that was that was longer than his winning streak was.
Yeah. I immediately texted to my agent, my publisher, but is
this normal? And I'm dinna, I'm gonna confess something. And I'm not
trying to be funny, nor am I trying to be cute. Okay,
I really feel that he might take it back. I'm not I might cry
right now. I'm fine, I am dead serious. Why, It's just
the way I'm wired. Yeah, yeah, that's what I think. Your
self esteem issues? Yeah, no, Now I want to get we still
haven't this blur. So let's take a quick break because I don't know if
a lot of people know this, but they're about to find out right now.
This show is sponsored by Better Help. Speaking of getting therapy, yeah
yeah, Can I talk about my cal Ripken Junior and no bacsies fears?
Yeah, we all. I think everybody can tell just by listening to this
show that we all need therapy. All three of my kids are currently in
therapy. All three have their own therapists. Nobody even shares a therapist.
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that you went to from ys very successful. I wanted I had another vision
everybody loves a baseball movie called Sandlot. Yes, love that you're Yes,
And it's like the people who might appreciate this book, no, the movie
Sandlot. I need that name on my book cover. So and also it's
a very well written movie. And I thought like, let me hunt this
guy down. His name is David Mickey Evans, and I found his website.
It's like an abandoned amusement park, like it looks like no one's been
there in a while. Like Dusty, it's rusty stuff from twenty fifteen.
There's like my next event. It's like the crane Berries are headlining. Um,
come see Midnight Special exactly. So, but it had a contact me.
I was like, I don't know if this is going anyway where I
feel like David Mickey Evans, who wrote Sandlot, is kind of like the
writer in Field of Dreams, Like he doesn't want to be contacted. He's
not trying to be contacted, he's not making himself available, he's not updating
his website. And the last I'm like, but I'm like, look,
I got cal Ripken Junior. So obviously miracles happen. Miracles are on my
side. Angels are on my side. Maybe there's something about this story and
my brother and like grief that in loss that it's not you know that like
might help people, and you know, if I can shine a light on
that, maybe people will want to help me. And um, so I
wrote a letter and to the contact me and I'm I'm at my best when
I really believe that no one's ever reading it. So as good as my
letter was to Cal, my letter to David Mickey Evans was a masterpiece because
it's like, no one's gonna read this, And in it I said,
look, I'm on a level with you. Cal Ripken Junior blurred my book
and now I like, it's really ruined me because I'm now like so confident
that I think anything, any miracles can happen, and that is why I'm
bothering you. And then I had just it ended with this paragraph. It
was two words, blame Cal. And you know, a couple of days
passed by and I was like, oh my god, my inbox and he
goes all caps. I never ever ever respond to emails like this, and
then it said, oh but you got me with blame Cal. L ol.
Oh my god. So Cal in a way was responsible for getting David
McGibbon. So he said, I've already vetted you, so just send me
the book. And then we like started up like a friendship where he said,
yeah, he said, I really of your writing. It's like you're
sitting here talking to me. And then he said, I've also written a
grief book. Should we trade grief books? He wrote a novel or it's
kind of a memoir. It's hard to explain what it is. It's called
The King of Pacoima. And he wrote the movie Radio Flyer. Do you
remember Radio Flyer? Yes, of course, that's based on a book called
The King of Pacoima, which is about his childhood and his horrendous, abusive
stepfather who was played by Dennis Leary in the movie. And it's a great
book. Like it's a beautiful book. It's like Steinbeck, Like it's concise,
it's muscular, it's a fishing it's beautiful. It'll break your heart,
but it's not too griefy. So yeah, we kind of became friends.
No, he that's how he became a big deal, Like he wrote the
King of Pacoima and then he I think I might get this wrong because I
looked it up a while ago, but he sold the screenplay for a million
dollars and then they he wanted to direct it, and then he was removed
because he was like a rookie director and Richard Donner took over, who's like
a big guy, you know. So so it ended up being kind of
a tricky situation for him. But yeah, but that was Radio Flyer.
Radio Flyer was king of Pacoma. Wow. And the book is good.
It's beyond I don't know why I'd never heard of it. I don't know
why everyone hasn't read it. I read it. I like the title too,
isn't it great? Yeah? So I guess he's from Pecoma. So
okay, sound like a bad story. Well I'm getting to the bad part.
So so I got him by the way. I thought Doctor Drew would
be great because to talk about grief and loss and how you know, everyone
grieves differently. For us, it was baseball. For you, it could
be whatever it is. And he couldn't have been nicer than In fact,
he not only wrote me a blurb, he said, hey, um,
I'm pretty good friends with Mike Piazza. Why don't you write a letter to
Mike Piazza and some blurbs and I'll get it to him. And then he
helped me like redrafted because he said it was too long for Piazza's attention span,
so I cut it down. You know, we did not get Piazza,
but the fact that doctor Drew offered that, like everybody was so nice,
but then it was a lot harder with females. Interesting, and Stephanie
was the lone exception. She immediately in two seconds she was like, yeah,
I'll read your book. And then two days later she was like sending
me, you know, like paragraphs she liked and like giving me so much
positive reinforcement in feedback. She was the only one. I had a very
hard time. She's the only female blurbed. I wanted this, Um,
this is kind of a weird this I was not even I don't know if
this is spilling tea, but I'd be interested in your opinion. I'll get
to the want of somebody who was really really horrible. Somebody was horrible,
right, Yes, this person I don't think was horrible, but I had
a very strong reaction to it. Do you know of the writer Mary Carr?
Of course, Oh my, okay, this is crazy, but I
have a reference to Mary Carr in my book and Drunkish, Loving and Leaving
Alcohol Out in January. I literally reference her because I have a little story
about her. But I don't I don't tell the story about her in the
book exactly, but I did an really, really really quick story. I
did this interview because I don't know if this is negative about her, but
I did. I did this interview for not sixty minutes twenty twenty and what
with Elizabeth Vargas, because yeah, but this was before she quit drinking.
So this story is before she quit drinking. Only I had quit drinking at
this point. Mary Carr famously sober, many more years sober than me.
At the time, I was like nine months sober and Mary Carr was like
twenty years sober. And she wrote a book called Lit that is about society.
Yes, that's my favorite of her books. Okay, so I kind
of boycott her now, Okay, well I can't take it away. Lit
is a great book. Well I can tell. I'll tell. I'll add
in on your story, my little Mary Carr story. But suffice it to
say that she wasn't um. She was like seemed a little bit annoyed with
me when she met me, Wait, where did you meet at at We
were both we were both being interviewed for sixty believing. Yeah, So I
met her and she she I she was not rude to me at all,
but she was like she couldn't understand why I was being in her. I
think she just didn't understand, like why I was also being interviewed as an
a I'm Mary Carr and who the fuck's this bit kind of And she was
also like there was a lot of like um like program speak, Like she
was very like, oh, you've been sober nine months? She was like,
I wasn't even able to function when I've been sober nine months. Like
I was like, I couldn't even Like she almost almost like she didn't really
believe that maybe I ever had a bad problem, Like it was kind of
like you're a faker. You're like, have you ever set yourself on fire?
And then eating cat litter to survive? Yeah? And then also I
was having a little girl crush out Elizabeth Vargas at that because so beautiful married
to at the time, she was married to Mark Khan, who I was
like in Memphis, walking in Memphis, and I was like, and she's
just so flipping pretty she is, and she's so nice, and she was
very focused on me when she and I talked about that in the book that
I'm doing my interview and she's so locked in, like and then what happened?
And then what happened, Well, it turned out very shortly after that
she checked herself into rehab for alcohol addictions. So no one likes to think
that, you know that, I know it was twelve step makes since.
I later found out that after the interviews, and I thought she and I
were just getting along famously, I was like, oh my gosh, like
does she anyway? I found out afterwards that she and Mary Carr went to
lunch, and I was like, that's horrible. I'm so glad that you
guys were having the reaction. And I was like, that's so there you
go right there. Mary Carr very famous author. I'm know her in the
same league, so they of course they had the best fucking friends. And
then I wrote a letter to Elizabeth Vargas after she got sober through the producer,
to a producer who was very close to her and who was the one
who brought me onto the show, and I and she and she and I
spoke like over email, and I was like, I'd love to like give
my support, and she's like, writer an email and I will get it
to her. And then she never wrote back. But that's okay, that's
okay because I still think she's lovely. But of course, in my mind,
I'm like, the reason she didn't write back is because she's very busy
hanging out with Mary Carr. No, that's exactly what I pictured. There's
no way. Mary carrs like, Okay, I go to this meeting,
you know, uptown two o'clock on Friday. You know what. You know
how they have those twelve step meetings at people's houses that are private for celebrities,
you know. Mary carrs like, I go to the literary one,
and yes, I think you should come with It's me to buy as Wolf.
There's just like that's a very small group. Well or is it?
Like is Annie Lamot so call them? So I think this this the story
about the person who was legitimately awful. She was awful, and it's objective
because um, my book agent is at CIA and I actually had him get
involved and he deals with a lot of like really big successful people and he
was like, I can't even believe this with the person. This is with
the person. This is with the person that I did tease that legitimately was
awful. Mary Carr was not awful. Okay, I let me be totally
clear. Yes, I had an exaggerated emotional response to Mary Carr's rejection.
Clearly, I clearly. I want to explain it to you, and I
want you to tell me how you would feel. Wait, I know that
this is on me. I know that this is on me. Okay,
we'll be the judge of that. So I had had a lot of luck
reaching out to people directly, and I thought, all right, here's what
I'm gonna do. Because CIAA who reps a lot of big people, my
agent, they reached out to people and had no luck. It's just it's
when it's a personal thing, and I'm like, here's my story. I'm
a big fan of yours, if you could support me. So I wrote
a DM to Mary Carr either on Twitter or Instagram, and I spent a
lot of time on it. And you know, I had had luck previously
with doing this, and here's what's weird. There's a way that you can
just not answer it. For example, I wrote to Amy Schumer because I
don't know. She's like a mom and she's funny. And my agent I
was like, can you please get not My publisher was like Amy Schumer would
be amazing and I'm like, yeah, you're telling me she's like twelve million.
Fought like, how am I going to say? So? Like I
wrote to her, and I wrote to Guy Osiri, who's her managers.
I'm like, well, he has one hundred thousand followers. Maybe a little
bit easy. The fact that she didn't write back to me is how I
want the world to be. That is how the universe should work. Of
course she didn't write back it. She probably will don't see it either.
That's the thing. Yes, Stephanie, you're right. This is right where
I want you. I can tell myself Amy Schumer didn't reject me or not
like my story. You can see a lot of famous people with a big
following. You could go into their They accept your message, but they might
not see it. I have like also, if you have an account like
like Arfur Crying Out Loud, Recamp has hit, they hide some of the
messages. It's you can either you give like a ton of message requests and
then you can put it in your prime, general general and like some of
them I don't even see. And I've had that happen on Facebook, Like
I had no idea that there's the message request that you don't see. Like
three years after my brother died, I was like, what's this and I
pressed I pressed it, and I'm like, condolences. Oh that was nice
of like fifty people that I didn't get back to. That was condolences,
and oh thanks for that grief shot out of nowhere that I wasn't expecting.
Now I'm in the past, like it just happened. Fuck you Zuckerberg.
So that's happened to everybody. Okay, So but here's the thing. I
feel that the most humane thing to do to a writer that's well beneath you
and not as famous as you and whatever is to just simply not respond,
right and then I can think and assume that rightfully. So of course she
didn't see it. She has eleven million people who all think that they're her
best friend writing her dam So in no way was I like Amy Schumer's a
bitch. I worship her. She's amazing, and so's her manager. And
I don't mind that neither of them got but of course they didn't get back
to me. The weird thing that Mary Carr did is this back to you.
I'm already cringing. This is already cringeing. Okay, Now, kids
would say if she had responded or her assistant or something and been like,
she doesn't do that. For example, I tried to get to Tuesdays with
Marie Mitch and and my agent reached out to his agent and got like a
beautiful rejection. Like it was such a beautiful rejection that I'm still feel like
I won because it just said, that's a heck of a letter. And
you know, Mitch hasn't advised me a long time ago to turn down all
of these request because you know he gets so many. But like, this
is a heck of a letter. And by the way, when the book
comes out, send it. So it was like, really beautiful. Mary
Carr did a weird in between and here's what she did. Here's what she
did. Okay, So I'm waiting and I'm waiting, and I'm so nervous
because she's Mary Carr, and I just keep checking checking, like did she
return the message? And I did get back a response one word, no
punctuation, no Oh god, what I felt like I had been punched in
the stomach, because like, why would you go to the trouble of right,
Like why not just let it? Nor just ignore me? Just ignore
it? No, Wow, you'll always have plausible deniability, Like you know,
she'll always have plausible deniability if you ever meet her at a party.
But what that does is it takes you a step down the line where she
knows I'll never meet this bitch anywhere in person I ever have to answer to
this. I do what I want, I tell people I want. And
she probably thinks she has really good boundaries. Do you think when she typed
that, she was like, I, I you come to me, you
slide into my DMS. You're gonna hear about it. Yeah, because I
have boundaries, Okay, because I go to alan On too, stay in
your square. Well, I just it just seemed like it was hurtful,
but it wasn't like, yeah, it wasn't wrong, but necessary. Yeah,
it's not necessary. But I think in her mind it was like,
well, I'm going to respond by telling you no, but why not just
take the time to write a couple of If you're going to take the time
to write no and act, go into your request and go, oh,
I'm going to answer this request with the word no. Why not say sorry,
I don't do any blurring yes? Or how about good luck? No,
but good luck right? That takes two seconds? More yes, or
how about no with a period? Just like you are worth so little,
You are so fucking nothing. You are a speck of shit on my ship.
The only thing worse than no would have been nope, nope would have
been because it's like that has a certain jauntiness to like Nope, nope,
nope. And how funny that you would even think that I would possibly entertain
Nope, nope, nope. You know what, so I want to I
want to do a shout out to our people, and then let us end
the show so that we because I want to record this Patreon while we're on
the topic, and then we're keeping you for our Friday show. So more
Teresa for the Friday show. A Little Girls, A Long Way, Stephanie.
Oh, now now we could keep a little goes a little way.
We want um so much more to cook. We're the opposite of no,
oh, yes, yes uh or yes yes queens ss oh my god.
Okay, let's say how to Ashley. She, oh, that's right.
And Leslie accosted me outside of me did ikea again? And my children?
Oh no, sex trafficked them. M Jacob is so growley reader rocks that
bassinet full of Elizabeth Williamson's kids. Hero, everybody loves Hero. It's Father's
Day. Happy Father's Day, soon, Father's Day, very very soon.
Um Athena she's got great makeup skills and dance moves. Polly, we love
your pancakes and your sisserp and Valerie, Oh my god, sit out of
the park. Yep, that's right, making it how last Way is Fenway
so yes, Fenwicks enough? Katerina checked that Molar, Gaby and Missy they're
like still with one flip flop. Yeah, you better buy. You better
buy Teresa's book to make up for your sassiness. Hot piece of rect Kelly
Brandt. She's not your aunt, but she'll still take you to plan parenthood.
Amy's a count, Aaron land Ho Alicia's time. Leslie, she's still
coughing, Sarah Stefan, Jennifer, get up, Sandra, it's not easy
being green. Christa, we made you want to stoop. And Stephanie's a
stinker wrinker. Also, my friend Adam Lerner can get you a car.
And if you get a car from my friend Adam, I have a friend
who's a car broker. Do you know what that is? So you don't
have to negotiate. Yes, he does everything. And if you're out of
state, uh you, he will just send the car to you. He'll
do all the negotiating, get the car, and it'll just roll up in
your driveway. So nobody needs to be this is this day and age every
people that think they have to go negotiate it. No, you don't.
And it's if you live in California, it's free. There's no charge for
it. The dealerships pay the charge. Anyway, give him a call or
text him at three one zero nine nine eight seven zero for eight. He's
helped a lot of our people already and you're gonna love talking to him.
I'll educate you. Also, our friend Marin A has a small bakery and
gift shop on the island of Kawai called Sugar Skull, So if anyone's ever
vacationing there, they can check it out or like and follow their Instagram page
at Sugar Skull eight oh eight and get fifteen percent off if you use the
code fcol our friend Becky Barris. I don't know what today's date is,
but it's only this is going to go up on Tuesday. Might you might
not make the cutoff for Father's Day? Oh yeah, I think you will.
If you get an order in by June eighth, she'll get it.
She'll get you an order for Father's Day. Could do a T shirt,
You could do a month on a T shirt. Yeah, just basic Becky
dot com or find her on Facebook at basic Becky and we'll do the rest
of them on Friday. And buy Teresa's book if you don't listen to Friday,
which I think you will. Making it home, available on Amazon everywhere
where is your a subtitle Life Lessons from a season of Little League. It's
Tuesday. This is Tuesday right now in podcast world it the book drops today.
Oh my gosh, congratulations day. Everybody go get it amazing and follow
her on Insta Teresa Strasser No, h nice? All right, okay,
thanks everybody, everybody. You're a parent, now, don't fuck it up
here you go