1 00:00:00,640 --> 00:00:17,920 Made a decision face sunny sound, I had a vision. So oh oh 2 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:22,280 okay, ready start the show, bitch. All right, this is a 3 00:00:22,399 --> 00:00:26,879 very special episode. If we're crying out loud, it's a Saturday and we 4 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:31,399 have no Kaylin and we're flying by the seat of our pants. Alan is 5 00:00:31,679 --> 00:00:36,799 malingering. Yeah at the ERM. Now, malingering is a good is a 6 00:00:36,799 --> 00:00:40,320 pretty good word. Do you know that vocabulary word? Yes? And I 7 00:00:40,359 --> 00:00:43,759 just want to tell you that I've just had the most judaic thought I have 8 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:47,600 I've ever had in my life, and I caught it in real time. 9 00:00:48,119 --> 00:00:51,280 I was like, I don't want to talk about Kylin's health situation because if 10 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:56,280 it goes sideways, this is going to be so awful and sad. Because 11 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,840 you'll hear this, You'll be like, remember when we were all laughing and 12 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:02,640 we thought it was funny and then and then it took a turn. We 13 00:01:02,679 --> 00:01:07,000 don't think it's funny. It's just what's funny is how inept Lynnette. How 14 00:01:07,159 --> 00:01:10,560 Kaylin was like, you guys, I'm in the yard. We're like, 15 00:01:10,799 --> 00:01:15,519 he's going to produce our show though. We have a special guest in our 16 00:01:15,599 --> 00:01:19,879 studio today, and that is the one and only Teresa Strasser. I am 17 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:26,959 here to always think about the worst case scenario in every situation and prepare you 18 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:30,200 mentally for how things might go badly. You know people say about you, 19 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:36,359 Teresa, what they say she's a really good broadcaster. Oh yeah, professional. 20 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:41,120 What does that mean? It means that your voice is soothing. You 21 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:45,439 you bring it, You understand what the people want. You know how to 22 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:49,400 how to bring the drama, but also bring pull the drama from others. 23 00:01:51,599 --> 00:01:56,159 I were a narrative storyteller. Thank you. You're a great writer. Thank 24 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:59,879 you an amazing writer, which is one of the reasons why you're here, 25 00:02:00,159 --> 00:02:02,959 one of the many reasons. So I just want to say before because you're 26 00:02:02,959 --> 00:02:06,879 not going to say it about yourself, but I want to say you probably 27 00:02:06,879 --> 00:02:10,439 heard me say it that you sent me the book. I was, I 28 00:02:10,479 --> 00:02:13,840 don't want to make this about me, but I was in the middle of 29 00:02:13,879 --> 00:02:17,840 my own writing hell and Teresa said, could you please read the book and 30 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,479 possibly, you know, if you have time, like no pressure, like 31 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:24,000 give me a blurb. And I was like, yes, I will, 32 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,919 And then but I was writing, you know how that feels. I was 33 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,680 under so much pressure. But I started reading her book and I was like, 34 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:35,280 oh my god, I cannot put it down. I was crying immediately, 35 00:02:35,319 --> 00:02:38,800 and then I was texting her just constantly, just going, oh my 36 00:02:38,879 --> 00:02:42,840 god, how am I going to continue writing when now I have like I 37 00:02:42,879 --> 00:02:46,400 have to live up to this. It's so good. It's beautiful. The 38 00:02:46,479 --> 00:02:52,159 writing is gorgeous, but the story is just like I'm telling you, she 39 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,639 knows. This girl knows how to write emotions, yes, and make you 40 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:59,800 cry right wow, even happy tears. It's not like it's super depressing. 41 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,560 It's no. I thank you so much for saying that. My friend Ben 42 00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:07,639 Mankowitz, who you may know from TCM, he's got a pocket square and 43 00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:10,759 he introduces movies and his brother Josh Mankowitz is on Dateline. Oh yeah. 44 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:15,319 He and I worked together at TMZ for like six months and it was like 45 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:20,599 a bond that you that that for life will be yeah, because it was 46 00:03:20,759 --> 00:03:23,560 so horrendous for both of us. There's nothing wrong with that show. It's 47 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:27,439 just we we shouldn't have been there, um, and we knew it immediately, 48 00:03:27,479 --> 00:03:29,840 and so we're like, oh my god, we're going to get fired. 49 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,560 Who's gonna get fired first? How much do you make? How much 50 00:03:31,599 --> 00:03:36,520 do you hear, so you you were like writing gossip. Yes, but 51 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:39,759 oh sorry. Ben was like, uh, te people are gonna think your 52 00:03:39,759 --> 00:03:43,599 books really depressing. You have to like make sure that people know that it's 53 00:03:43,639 --> 00:03:46,479 funny. You have to lease. People don't want something that's too griefy. 54 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:52,240 So yes, it's it's not too griefy, it's it's got baseball. It 55 00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:55,039 takes place during the course of one single season of a Little League that I 56 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:59,639 watched with my dad, um after my brother died, and my dad and 57 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:03,280 I sort of accidentally turned little League into our grief group. But there's a 58 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:06,759 lot of baseball in between, so there are a lot of scenes. In 59 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:12,159 fact, my grief counselor. It sounds like I have a regular grief counselor, 60 00:04:12,199 --> 00:04:14,960 but I go to her like once every month or every six months or 61 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:18,800 whenever I need great grief counseling. But I was going to her a lot 62 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:24,519 when my brother was terminal, which was for six months, so they said 63 00:04:24,519 --> 00:04:27,240 he had six months to live, and he lived six months and ten days. 64 00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:31,480 Six months would have been on his seven year old's birthday, so I 65 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:34,680 was really happy he didn't he didn't die on that day. Hey, Ben, 66 00:04:34,759 --> 00:04:38,560 I just made it too griefy. I made it too griefy. I 67 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,839 fucking just did that. Sorry, never to grief. I swear it's not 68 00:04:41,959 --> 00:04:45,360 all that depressing. But I was talking to her and I was telling her 69 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,720 about the book, and she said, oh, that's adaptive oscillation. It's 70 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:53,279 like, what's that. Well, she treats people who are grieving like she 71 00:04:53,319 --> 00:04:58,480 treats really intense, awful grief situations. She's amazing at it. And she 72 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:02,720 treats a lot of kids, um and who've had like awful death situations in 73 00:05:02,759 --> 00:05:06,720 their lives. And she said adaptive oscillation. For example, she tells people, 74 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,759 if you can go back to work, you should. If you can, 75 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:13,639 if you can, you should, because you need a break from your 76 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,800 grief so you can go in and out of feeling awful. And I would 77 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:20,600 say that's true of anything a divorce, something that's really like you need breaks 78 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:26,639 from thinking about it. And so I guess I naturally fell into a rhythm 79 00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:31,040 in telling the story where something is intense and it's painful, and but the 80 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:35,600 but the season of baseball is a framework, and so it goes back and 81 00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:40,639 forth in time. So you return to little League and me and my dad 82 00:05:40,639 --> 00:05:44,480 talking shit about ten year olds and him day drinking at the at the trailer. 83 00:05:45,759 --> 00:05:49,079 So it's not like Stephanie knows so like you, you may shed a 84 00:05:49,079 --> 00:05:54,160 tear, but it's not like this book is unbearable, Oh my gosh. 85 00:05:54,199 --> 00:05:58,560 Well, Teresa's obviously a naturally funny person, a funny writer. So there's 86 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,160 lots of funny scenes, there's lots of there's laugh out loud moments for sure, 87 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,199 thank you, And I will say there was So when you write a 88 00:06:04,199 --> 00:06:09,879 book and Stephanie knows this, your publisher asks you to get blurbs, so 89 00:06:09,959 --> 00:06:13,839 you have to reach out to notable people, and it's horrendous. If you're 90 00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:17,279 an introvert, which I am, it's so terrifying. And so Stephanie was 91 00:06:17,319 --> 00:06:19,839 like a safe, a safe person. I was like, she's going to 92 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:24,600 be my first person. And then you were so fucking nice to me, 93 00:06:24,639 --> 00:06:27,120 and you were so nice about the book. And I will say that you 94 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:30,240 were on Penguin, my publisher's list of people that they wanted. There was 95 00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:35,639 a list of funny female writers and I saw Stephanie Wilder Taylor. I'm like, 96 00:06:35,879 --> 00:06:41,560 oh no, that because you're like gettable, highly gettable. And then 97 00:06:41,639 --> 00:06:46,879 and then your blurb was so beautiful, and you know, not that many 98 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:49,120 people had seen my book when you saw it, so it felt very vulnerable 99 00:06:49,759 --> 00:06:53,160 and I was so I was just so relieved that you liked it. Well, 100 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:56,120 I just want to say that I felt a lot of writing pressure to 101 00:06:56,160 --> 00:07:00,519 write your blurb because I was like, here, I am like the writer 102 00:07:00,639 --> 00:07:01,959 who's writing the blurb that you went to, And I'm like, what if 103 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:06,079 my blurb sucks you too. I gave you like four of them. I 104 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:10,480 was like, just pick whatever you want, or combine them, or rewrite 105 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:13,600 it, rewrite my blurb. Stephanie knows this, But Lynnette, this might 106 00:07:13,639 --> 00:07:15,720 be a surprise to you. Do you know, you see blurbs like on 107 00:07:15,759 --> 00:07:18,759 the cover of a book, it'll say, you know, yeah, this 108 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:23,079 is whatever, this is the best book I've ever read. Yeah, this 109 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:28,160 book isn't too griefy, yeah, ben Mankoitzum. But you have to ask 110 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,560 people, and a lot of that process, at least for me, when 111 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:35,000 you're a low level writer like me, you write the blurbs yourself and then 112 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:41,040 you submit them. Oh, and then somebody chooses one to take all of 113 00:07:41,079 --> 00:07:46,120 the calorie burning out of it. Oh that's how I got from my first 114 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:50,160 book, I got a blurb which one on the cover and in retrospect, 115 00:07:50,199 --> 00:07:54,600 I don't know if it was that helpful, but at the time, my 116 00:07:54,639 --> 00:07:59,480 first book was a pregnancy, humorous pregnancy, like a collection of essays, 117 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:03,480 and the person who had the biggest book was Jenny McCarthy. Yeah, I 118 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:07,800 was explaining my Yeah, Jenny McCarthy was like the biggest blurb you could get 119 00:08:07,879 --> 00:08:13,040 because she had the most successful things. That book Belly. That motherfucker still 120 00:08:13,079 --> 00:08:16,680 sells, Like that book is hugely successful. So to get hers, I'm 121 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:20,439 like, I have to write a blurb that's so funny, she's gonna want 122 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:24,240 to have said it. And that's how I got her. I think it's 123 00:08:24,279 --> 00:08:26,199 not it's not even that good. I mean I wrote ten and they were 124 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:30,319 all basically equal. I don't know. You're a game show writer, so 125 00:08:30,399 --> 00:08:33,720 you're like, Rubens, yeah, I'll submit ten. I did. I 126 00:08:33,759 --> 00:08:37,120 was like, kill nine of them. I was like, you'll kill nine. 127 00:08:37,159 --> 00:08:39,759 Here's an ALT and another ALT and another alt. You gotta do this 128 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:43,320 for me, Jenny. Um. I think it was I just I read 129 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:46,960 her book, and I just I I think I absorbed her style because you've 130 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,559 got to write the blurb in the style of the mark. Yeah, right, 131 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:52,279 I laughed so hard. I took a ship on the table. So 132 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:56,919 close, it's so close it was. Um, I laughed my ass off, 133 00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:01,679 which is great because now I don't have stretch marks. Oh like it? 134 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,320 Good, like it. That's great. So she goes, you know, 135 00:09:03,519 --> 00:09:09,279 I'll take Yeah, makes her look witty, But it was really nice 136 00:09:09,279 --> 00:09:11,559 with her actually because she didn't she didn't need you to do that, right. 137 00:09:11,879 --> 00:09:16,720 Um. I got a blur from cal Ripkin Junior that was that's amazing. 138 00:09:16,759 --> 00:09:18,840 That amazing. I saw that. Yeah, that's awesome. I had 139 00:09:18,879 --> 00:09:22,200 to work my connection to Google. Oh is that what you did? Yeah? 140 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:26,600 Oh, I googled how to reach cal Ripkin Junior. That's how you 141 00:09:26,639 --> 00:09:31,360 got him. Yeah. Well I thought you're shy, I know. But 142 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:35,240 when I'm shy in person, right, But I'm a different person when I'm 143 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:37,120 writing, and very uninhibited. When I'm right, I don't kill about fuck 144 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:41,399 what anybody thinks. When I'm in a room here, I'm like terrified to 145 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:48,519 do or say something weird or inappropriate or basic or stupid or unfunny or embarrassing. 146 00:09:48,799 --> 00:09:50,679 But on the page, I don't have any of that. I'm too, 147 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,279 I'm a different person. Yeah, because you're great, You're a good 148 00:09:52,279 --> 00:09:56,480 writer. You know, you're confident. That's amazing. So yeah, we 149 00:09:56,519 --> 00:10:01,720 didn't even say the name of the book, making it home life lessons from 150 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:05,120 a season of Little League. Yes, and available now on AMA, go 151 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:09,200 to Amazon. Little Boy would be story for you about about So first blurb 152 00:10:09,279 --> 00:10:13,279 I had was Molly Shannon, because I had that's a great friend of her 153 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:16,720 friend she was. It was a great quote she and she I honestly don't 154 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:22,759 know if she'd read the Galley, I don't know. But a second book, 155 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:26,360 I so Chelsea. I was friends with Chelsea. That was, by 156 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,879 the way, getting Chelsea. That's the blurb. Like at that point in 157 00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:33,120 time and even now, but especially then, if you had a Chelsea blurb 158 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,279 on the cover of your book, it was a bestseller. But here's the 159 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:39,320 problem. Do you want to hear this the I want all the problem? 160 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:43,159 Yeah, So Chelsea was my friend kind of when the first book came out, 161 00:10:45,159 --> 00:10:48,480 but when the second, So when the second book was coming out, 162 00:10:48,919 --> 00:10:52,480 I guess we were still friends at that point and then she sort of blew 163 00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:56,399 me off. But right before that, she'd she'd given me a blurb kind 164 00:10:56,440 --> 00:11:00,519 of before she blew me off, and I'd asked her if I could you 165 00:11:00,759 --> 00:11:03,679 if I could, if she would I could use a blurb for the cover, 166 00:11:03,799 --> 00:11:07,159 and she said yes, And then I had to write myself the blurb, 167 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:13,159 which my editor, Patrick Price, he wrote me like a really funny 168 00:11:13,159 --> 00:11:16,039 one and it was very much in Chelsea's voice. He's really funny. So 169 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:20,120 she approved the quote. Anyway, it goes out. The first copies of 170 00:11:20,159 --> 00:11:26,799 the book have the have her quote. She contacts me and Legal like, 171 00:11:26,879 --> 00:11:30,919 I don't remember I mean this. I've tried to block out the story. 172 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,240 But basically, she said, you can't use my quote on the cover of 173 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:37,399 the book. I never said you could use it on the cover. Nobody 174 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:41,639 ever my name is not on the cover of anybody's book but my own, 175 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:48,200 and made them reprint. Oh my god, Holy my jaw is dropping. 176 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:52,600 That's insane. It was so embarrassing because I was supposed to be friends with 177 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:56,559 her too, you know what I mean, Like why people were like my 178 00:11:56,639 --> 00:11:58,639 book company was like, why is she being such an hard ass? Why 179 00:11:58,679 --> 00:12:03,799 is she writtening like legal action? And I was like, I don't know. 180 00:12:03,919 --> 00:12:07,360 I had a very bizarre experience that I was going to talk about more 181 00:12:07,399 --> 00:12:11,080 on Patreon and when it happened, Stephanie, I really wanted to call you 182 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:15,399 because you've written a lot more books than I have, and you know this 183 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:20,039 world better. Um, I just I can't. I can't. I don't 184 00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:22,960 know who to talk about it with. But maybe listen. Maybe I'll give 185 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,639 you the broad strokes here and then on Patreon. And that's what you call 186 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:31,679 a deep tease. Remember how you said I was a good broadcaster. Yeah, 187 00:12:31,039 --> 00:12:35,200 look at me easy. But okay, wait, so before you tell 188 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:39,639 that story, let's talk about our first sponsor of the day, which is 189 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:43,759 Organify any I don't know if you've tried to organify, but Lanette and I 190 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:48,200 love it. If you're into, you know, just having a healthy drink 191 00:12:48,399 --> 00:12:52,919 a couple of times a day. They have different flavors and styles. Tell 192 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:56,480 us about the It's a healthy it's like a you know, energy. It 193 00:12:56,480 --> 00:13:01,159 supports rust and relaxation, healthy and immune response. It's you add it to 194 00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:07,159 you can there's different kinds. There's a red juice. Um, there's red 195 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:13,080 juices for energy, gives you natural energy. Yeah, there'sanified gold which you 196 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:16,960 can mix into a tea, can make. 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Um it's Organified O r g A NiFi dot com slash fcol and 207 00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:05,720 you'll get twenty percent off. I swear to God, we swear by this. 208 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:09,919 Yes, love it. Okay, all right, tell us, yes, 209 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:13,320 all right. Teas, deep teas, deep teas. I just have 210 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:16,679 to interrupt myself to say that, Lena, I'm so fucking happy to see 211 00:14:16,679 --> 00:14:20,960 you. I am just so happy to see you, happy to see you. 212 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:26,480 I know a lot's changed for you since I've seen you last, and 213 00:14:26,639 --> 00:14:31,480 lots lot of change happy, happy to see you. Let's acknowledge that you 214 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:35,639 two started this show and you stud you it was you two. I was 215 00:14:35,679 --> 00:14:39,120 a guest on your show. I loved it, you guys, and I 216 00:14:39,159 --> 00:14:43,200 remember thinking, like these guys, I really I idolized Lynette when I was 217 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:50,240 little. I did when I was little, idolized Linnette because you were so 218 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:54,720 like you were family to us. And I've been going through old emails recently 219 00:14:56,120 --> 00:15:01,480 because of stuff, and I found so many emails from us, like exchanges 220 00:15:01,519 --> 00:15:03,960 with you and I about the show, about our podcast, when we had 221 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:09,559 our meeting at your house before launched. Remember that Kathy yes with Katy ever 222 00:15:09,639 --> 00:15:13,960 talked to Kathy and Donnie. Hell no, they sued us. Fuck those 223 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,399 fuckers now, he said, it suck those fuckers. This is just such 224 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:22,720 a tea filled episode. Fuck, I'm spilling it all. But you know 225 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:28,480 I that you won't have to worry about again. There's so many right why 226 00:15:28,679 --> 00:15:33,039 I'm spilling all the tea and then I will never be heard from this ship. 227 00:15:33,519 --> 00:15:35,240 Yeah right, okay, that's okay, No, go ahead, it's 228 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:39,080 fine. Um yeah, no, I just I remember coming over to the 229 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:43,960 house in the Hollywood Hills. Is that how you where you would describe it. 230 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:46,159 It had the pool in the in you could see the pool through the 231 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:50,600 bar. Oh yeah, and like I'm a lowly mechanics daughter, like when 232 00:15:50,639 --> 00:15:54,360 I have not seen anything like that in my life. Yeah, and Adam 233 00:15:54,519 --> 00:15:58,759 was my boss. I was like, oh my god, he loved you. 234 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:02,240 He loves you to this day. Well, last night talked to him. 235 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:03,840 He was real. Thanks, he was. He was really good to 236 00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:07,919 me. I was just thinking about the day he called when Danny Bonaducci was 237 00:16:08,639 --> 00:16:12,519 being removed from his post. And I've been thinking about Danny because I read 238 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:17,440 yesterday that he's having brain surgery. Oh my god, Yeah, he's had 239 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:19,120 some I've heard that that he's had some health is. Yeah, some some 240 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:22,480 like neurological things are very difficult to diagnose. And I don't think they know 241 00:16:22,519 --> 00:16:25,720 what's what's wrong with him. And he, by the way, I've got 242 00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:27,960 no shit to talk about him. He was really good to me. And 243 00:16:29,039 --> 00:16:32,639 I also think he's an entertaining broadcaster. And I know that's not a popular 244 00:16:32,639 --> 00:16:37,120 opinion with Corola fans. It is a certain flavor and it's not necessarily the 245 00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:41,240 people who like what Adam does that appreciate what Danny but I enjoyed him and 246 00:16:41,279 --> 00:16:45,360 he was very kind to me on a on a personal level, so like 247 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:49,639 I genuinely wish him well. But Adam called me and I got like a 248 00:16:49,639 --> 00:16:52,799 stomach ache because I saw his phone number and I he that like made me 249 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:56,639 so nervous, and I was like, fuck, I gotta pick this up. 250 00:16:56,840 --> 00:17:00,240 And it was just him saying, I think that you should talk more. 251 00:17:00,799 --> 00:17:03,920 I think that you can pick up what Danny was doing. I don't 252 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:07,319 think we need a Danny or a Damn a Check or anybody else. I 253 00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:11,680 don't need anybody else. You be my Robin. Talk more because all you 254 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:15,559 need is reps, and you'll be as good as anybody. Yes, I 255 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:18,720 remember, And it's just as one of those things that like, you know, 256 00:17:18,039 --> 00:17:22,240 infiltrates your DNA on a level and you're like, okay, well he's 257 00:17:22,279 --> 00:17:26,240 really successful and he never bullshits right, so if he's saying that, right, 258 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:30,279 he means it. Yeah, maybe you know, maybe I should talk 259 00:17:30,319 --> 00:17:33,680 more. Yeah, And he did, and you you were great and the 260 00:17:33,759 --> 00:17:37,279 fans love you definitely. Well, it's easy to love me now that I'm 261 00:17:37,319 --> 00:17:41,759 gone. It's like a country song, I can miss you now that you're 262 00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:45,039 gone. If I were back in two weeks, they'd be like, shut 263 00:17:45,119 --> 00:17:47,799 up, you talk too much. Don't step on Adam. Leave the jokes 264 00:17:47,799 --> 00:17:51,799 to Adam. But I was there, and you, like, you had 265 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:53,559 kids before I did, and I just felt like, it seems like, 266 00:17:53,759 --> 00:17:57,119 I know, this isn't true always that he doesn't. It isn't always what 267 00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:03,440 it appears. But to me, everything seemed easy and casual, like the 268 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:07,000 way you were with your kids, which just seemed like natural and uh, 269 00:18:07,559 --> 00:18:11,079 and like you knew what you were doing and you weren't agonizing over every little 270 00:18:11,079 --> 00:18:11,759 thing. Maybe you were, but it didn't look like it. Oh, 271 00:18:11,839 --> 00:18:15,680 thank you, thank you. Well. I mean, when you have twins, 272 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,240 it's like, you know, like you just gotta jump in and do 273 00:18:18,319 --> 00:18:22,680 it for the first time too, Like first time you have a child and 274 00:18:22,759 --> 00:18:25,559 you have two of them, you have no choice. You got to survive. 275 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:30,559 I do. I do remember Adam being upset that you wanted to pay 276 00:18:30,599 --> 00:18:34,960 for the family photos, and he, in his mind, you should be 277 00:18:36,319 --> 00:18:38,599 taking the family photos of the kids. Oh. I took him to Sears. 278 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:42,160 Yeah, he was like, you're wasting all that money. It's just 279 00:18:42,319 --> 00:18:47,519 take right now. Yeah, he was not. I like a wealthy person 280 00:18:47,559 --> 00:18:49,599 that pinches a penny. Yes, well, he's got those pictures, by 281 00:18:49,599 --> 00:18:55,519 the way, hanging in his office, So you're welcome the seous pictures. 282 00:18:55,720 --> 00:19:00,880 Yeah. Yeah, that's hilarious. So read my blur of the So. 283 00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:03,799 So here's something that I don't like. I don't like this fact, but 284 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:08,119 this is a fact. The men who I reached out to for blurbs were 285 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:14,920 amazingly generous. Like cal Ripken Junior is probably one of the greatest athletes that's 286 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:18,200 ever lived. He has a consecutive game streak record that will not be broken 287 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:23,720 ever. Player Right, I was gonna say, were you into baseball before 288 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:29,160 your kids? I did not. I watched my brother when he played. 289 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:32,200 He played little league, he was a he was an all star okay nearby 290 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,400 in Santa Monica. So I watched him, and I get really nervous watching 291 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:38,680 him. Nervous when he was at the played and nervous when he was at 292 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:42,000 first base. He was a lefty like my son Nate, which this making 293 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:45,480 at Home is about, is about, like sort of the resurrection of my 294 00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:49,279 brother that happened during this season. They were born on the same day, 295 00:19:49,319 --> 00:19:53,759 September twenty fourth. Wow. Ye, both lefties. And both love love 296 00:19:53,839 --> 00:19:59,000 baseball and kind of like they have the same walk. It's like a genetic 297 00:19:59,039 --> 00:20:02,680 thing where there's a certain kind of feel toe Gate. And like Nate who's 298 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:06,160 now thirteen, the season takes place when he was nine. When he's thinking 299 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:07,880 and he kind of looks up, it looks exactly like my brother. Oh 300 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:12,079 wow, yeah, it's got They're very similar, even though they really know 301 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:15,519 each other very well. I mean, I have like pictures of my brother 302 00:20:15,599 --> 00:20:19,160 Morgan holding Nate, you know, and and and Nate. You know, 303 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:22,240 we went to visit a lot when my brother was sick, but Nate was 304 00:20:22,279 --> 00:20:26,319 you know, little and whatever. But there's just like a through line genetically. 305 00:20:26,839 --> 00:20:33,119 And also baseball is a weird thing because I know you guys are huge 306 00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:37,759 sports fans. So I'm telling you something you already know, Stephanie, I'm 307 00:20:37,759 --> 00:20:40,599 gonna blow your mind. You know, there's a lot of sports. You 308 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:44,200 got your soccer, your football, and your hockey, golf, golf, 309 00:20:45,039 --> 00:20:49,400 bowling. Here's the thing. Ball sweeping the fucking nation. It is my 310 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:53,240 dad plays every day, won't shut up about it. Baseball has no clock, 311 00:20:53,759 --> 00:21:00,640 so it's mathematically feasible for a baseball game to go on forever, right, 312 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,039 So what do they do if it's really just going on way too long? 313 00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:07,039 They just well, games have been rescheduled, like a world series has 314 00:21:07,079 --> 00:21:08,920 been rescheduled, like if it's raining, you start. But you know, 315 00:21:10,039 --> 00:21:14,200 so it hasn't happened, but it's mathematically possible. So there's there's a feeling 316 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:18,279 that it's it's immortal, that it's connecting the you know, the living with 317 00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:22,079 the dead. And that's why there's field of dreams and angels in the outfield, 318 00:21:22,079 --> 00:21:25,519 because there's something about it. I'm not just saying this, but movie 319 00:21:25,559 --> 00:21:27,720 rights are going to be sold to your book. It is so cinematic, 320 00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:33,200 is very cinematic and touching, but a big story but also a very small 321 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,799 story. Do you know what I mean? Well, that's my dream. 322 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:40,319 I think Henry Winkler shaves his head, plays my dad wins an oscar. 323 00:21:40,599 --> 00:21:45,079 Oh yes, girl, he's so good and he's so nice. So he 324 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,960 love this book. How did I get into Hell? I know it, 325 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:55,119 tweeted him. Yes, Yes, I've worked for Henry and he's a very 326 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,000 nice, approachable man. Don't you think it's time for him to do a 327 00:21:57,079 --> 00:22:02,000 serious dramatic role. Well, he's on Barry right, Yes, yeah, 328 00:22:02,079 --> 00:22:06,000 he's very good. It's comedic, comedic. Yeah, yeah, I mean, 329 00:22:06,039 --> 00:22:08,680 look, you gotta have chop with be comedic. Yes, this is 330 00:22:10,039 --> 00:22:12,640 your dad's kind of funny. He's very Yes, he is funny. It's 331 00:22:12,799 --> 00:22:18,599 grumpy. He's Grumpy's can't tankerous. He takes chus. He drinks the Kirkland 332 00:22:18,599 --> 00:22:22,559 tequila to take the edge off. He's got ear hair, nose hair. 333 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,680 Where's Micra? You know? I loved and then well we'll get back. 334 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:30,680 I know we're getting we're getting to blurb talk based cal Rifkin talk. But 335 00:22:30,759 --> 00:22:36,400 I just wanted to say that one thing that I really appreciated about the book 336 00:22:36,599 --> 00:22:41,720 is that even though your dad is still alive and was you knew would be 337 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:45,400 reading this book, she doesn't hold back like there's a lot of mixed feelings 338 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:51,720 about the dad. And I felt like I've written books and had to talk 339 00:22:51,759 --> 00:22:55,519 about my relationship with like my parents, and I just love that you didn't 340 00:22:55,519 --> 00:22:59,400 really hold back like you, but it was still controlled. It wasn't like 341 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,599 you were right. And I talk about this a lot with like writing students. 342 00:23:02,599 --> 00:23:06,200 You weren't writing at him, but you were writing as if he wasn't 343 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:10,200 reading it. Even though I'm sure you knew he was going to read it. 344 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,240 But that means that like he was going to have to like stand tough 345 00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:17,079 and hear what you had to say, but also with so much love, 346 00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:21,599 so you know, but with the I love when when you were talking about 347 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,720 almost like having your dad kind of give you the ick, like I just 348 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:30,400 I can't be around him, like I'm getting it's so uncomfortable sometimes, and 349 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:33,400 I think that's such an important thing to be honest about. Well, I 350 00:23:33,519 --> 00:23:40,400 was very embarrassed a lot of times, especially when he first came to live 351 00:23:40,519 --> 00:23:42,799 in Phoenix with us after my brother died, Like, well, what do 352 00:23:42,839 --> 00:23:48,759 you you know? You might as well come live near us, and it's 353 00:23:48,799 --> 00:23:52,279 a nice community. The book is about Arcadia Little League. Arcadia is like 354 00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:59,200 a very range rover kind of place, and other people's dads belong to country 355 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:02,799 clubs. And my dad would take his bike to the game. Hey, 356 00:24:02,839 --> 00:24:06,240 he does not have a car. He exclusively rides a bike. I don't 357 00:24:06,279 --> 00:24:07,759 know if you guys have heard this, but Phoenix can be pretty hot. 358 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,519 So he'd show up there and then he wouldn't have a bike cover, but 359 00:24:11,559 --> 00:24:15,680 he'd want to cover his bike to protect it. So he'd use a sheet 360 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:18,680 like a lime You could use a white sheet, but why when you got 361 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:22,880 a lime green was it a fitted sheet? Yes? Oh my god. 362 00:24:25,319 --> 00:24:27,920 So it's like there's my dad's bike in the outfield where he'd lock it up 363 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:33,440 for all everyone and their range rovers and a lime green sheet over it like 364 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:37,079 Neon where you couldn't miss it. And then he would wear the LCRA and 365 00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:41,839 like, you don't want to see a man who's seventy five and you see 366 00:24:41,839 --> 00:24:45,079 his ball outline and then he doesn't have a lot of his teeth for real, 367 00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:49,400 real, like he doesn't I'm not exaggerating. And then he shaves his 368 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:53,440 head because he doesn't want to pay for haircuts. Smart, so he's like 369 00:24:53,519 --> 00:24:56,799 ball, but often like he uses to shave it, he uses the razors 370 00:24:56,799 --> 00:25:00,640 from the ninety nine cents only store, of course, so there's always like 371 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:03,839 scabs, okay, and a lot of times there's blood, like a crusty 372 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,279 blood drip on his head right then a lot of nose hair, ear hair. 373 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:11,000 Then after my brother died, he developed blaff ro spasms, which is 374 00:25:11,039 --> 00:25:15,839 like, I it's it's neurological, it's related to Parkinson's and it kind of 375 00:25:15,839 --> 00:25:18,319 comes and goes, and I feel like the dust at the ball field would 376 00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:22,720 really make it bad, and the spasms and his eyes would kind of like 377 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:26,400 go down to his jaw so like he'd catch your eye because he's like a 378 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:30,880 seventy five year old in lycra with his balls like a tight outline. And 379 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,440 then you're like you look, and when you look, you're like, oh 380 00:25:33,519 --> 00:25:36,400 God, what's that guy fucking doing with his face? And he's just like 381 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:41,240 he's blinking and twitched, twitching. Yeah, and then obviously he's in clothes 382 00:25:41,319 --> 00:25:45,599 from Walmart and there's a lot not that there's anything wrong with that, but 383 00:25:45,599 --> 00:25:49,079 he's got the dickies and there's always like crumbs, pretzel crumbs, right, 384 00:25:49,759 --> 00:25:53,440 And it wasn't like what I had in mind, you know. Like I 385 00:25:53,839 --> 00:25:59,319 remember when I started working for Adam and he was so shocked because he just 386 00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:03,480 thought like, well, Teresa's dad must be like an English slit professor or 387 00:26:03,519 --> 00:26:07,720 something or a doctor yea, because like Jews don't live in trailer parks and 388 00:26:07,799 --> 00:26:12,160 fix and fix cars, right, But but Adam likes that better though. 389 00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:18,160 Yeah, I had a real blue collar upbringing, like my dad always had 390 00:26:18,799 --> 00:26:22,440 the grease under his nail he had, like mechanics have a certain kind of 391 00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,400 soap. It's like a pomisey. It's in a bucket, it's on the 392 00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:27,319 you know, I could like still smell valet. Yeah. But I love 393 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,920 being in my dad's garage. I was real happy. I worshiped my dad 394 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,319 when I was little because I didn't live with him, so I always wanted 395 00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:37,400 to be around him. What does he think about the book? Oh, 396 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:41,839 well, thank you for saying that it is. I think it's a pretty 397 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:45,079 fair portrayal of him. Is he ultimately is kind of the hero of the 398 00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:48,640 story, which wasn't my intention. I intended for that to be me, 399 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:56,119 And how fucking great I am. Look at me getting over grief and learning 400 00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:59,720 all about baseball because I really wasn't an expert. I had to learn to 401 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:03,519 speak baseball. Yeah, and then you know, maybe a half or three 402 00:27:03,599 --> 00:27:07,400 quarters the way through the book, I was like, oh, if this 403 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:11,319 is the hero's journey, the heroes my dad because he's the one that travels 404 00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:17,119 away from home and returns a different person, and the way that he did 405 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:21,119 and does grief, Like if you think about what he's been through, like 406 00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:25,079 I can't even it's very hard for me to think of it from his perspective 407 00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:26,799 and the fact of him giving me the ick. I was just thinking that 408 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:33,559 when somebody is sick, especially a long illness like cancer, there's just a 409 00:27:33,559 --> 00:27:38,599 lot of awful times where you're crammed in an awful hospital room or an awful 410 00:27:38,839 --> 00:27:41,960 rehab center where they send you, know, because he couldn't go home and 411 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:45,960 my sister in law couldn't take care of him. It's like he was big 412 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:48,839 and you can't like move him around and stuff. So we had to find 413 00:27:48,839 --> 00:27:52,319 all these places to like warehouse him in between being an ICUs and this went 414 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:56,119 on. He was terminal for six months, but he was sick the second 415 00:27:56,160 --> 00:28:02,440 time for maybe two years, and my dad quit working, was with my 416 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:07,000 brother all the time, would stay in his hotel room for literally like weeks 417 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:10,599 on end, and shower at the hospital. Yeah. So like what he 418 00:28:10,799 --> 00:28:15,480 owed he repaid, Yeah, yeah, for sure. Wow. Yeah, 419 00:28:15,519 --> 00:28:18,400 but it doesn't take away from the fact that he owed. And you have 420 00:28:18,599 --> 00:28:22,720 resentments from being young, which you talked about in the book, and you 421 00:28:22,759 --> 00:28:26,720 had some shitty things happen in your upbringing, which I know, look, 422 00:28:26,759 --> 00:28:33,640 I know from having chaotic childhood. Stuff that you try to be fair, 423 00:28:33,079 --> 00:28:37,079 you try to not write about stuff coming from like being that age and like 424 00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:41,640 I'm so mad, and like again writing at the person, which you did 425 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:45,720 not do, but you had to give an honest portrayal of the things that 426 00:28:45,799 --> 00:28:51,599 you You were still dealing with resentment. So it's really hard to just step 427 00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:52,960 out of your own story and go, yeah, but he's great now and 428 00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:56,400 he was great to my brother, like you've got and that's a very uninteresting 429 00:28:56,400 --> 00:29:02,480 story. It's only interesting when you really cut down to the bone, like 430 00:29:02,759 --> 00:29:04,880 what really was it like and why was I resent when? By the way, 431 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,400 speaking of having the ick, my brother and I used to text back 432 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:11,799 and forth because my dad's fucking chewing was so loud and annoying, and we'd 433 00:29:11,839 --> 00:29:17,240 be in a tiny hospital room, like you know, hour after hour after 434 00:29:17,359 --> 00:29:19,880 hour, my dad's sound of his chilling, and I'd be texting and be 435 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:27,440 like, it's really bad right now, Yeah, yeah, it's I And 436 00:29:27,519 --> 00:29:30,680 I have all these old texts from him still in my phone of like, 437 00:29:30,799 --> 00:29:34,519 how's dad is he? Because at one point my dad was reading like a 438 00:29:34,559 --> 00:29:38,720 seven hundred page biography of Herbert Hoover, and so he would start talking to 439 00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:42,559 you about Herbert Hoover, and it would go on for like forty five minutes, 440 00:29:42,559 --> 00:29:48,400 and he would not be able to take in that you were not listening 441 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:52,119 and that you were any Herbert Hoover seven hundred pages. And I've text my 442 00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:56,319 brother like his dad talking about her? Is he talking to you longer than 443 00:29:56,359 --> 00:30:02,279 the actual term of Herbert Hoover? Do you wish it had never been? 444 00:30:02,519 --> 00:30:04,880 Did your brother ever go, dude, I only have six months. It 445 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:07,960 feels like, hey, wait, this is making my life feel longer. 446 00:30:08,759 --> 00:30:12,119 This is great, Dad, go on, tell me more. Did he 447 00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:15,519 have a second term? I think he did. I'm not good with my 448 00:30:15,599 --> 00:30:19,279 presidential but I did learn a lot about baseball. In fact, there's a 449 00:30:19,279 --> 00:30:23,359 lot of scenes in the book making it home life lessons from a season of 450 00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:29,319 literally where where my dad take a moment and go buy the book? Yes, 451 00:30:29,599 --> 00:30:33,319 thank you, it's in paperback, straight to paperback. Yes, that's 452 00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:37,519 awesome. Yeah, so you learned a lot about baseball. Yeah, Like 453 00:30:37,599 --> 00:30:40,440 there are things that are you have to learn, like, for example, 454 00:30:40,759 --> 00:30:44,920 what is a murderer's row? Yes, I've heard about that. I'm gonna 455 00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:48,559 guess. Can I guess? Please? Because I probably is it when you 456 00:30:48,599 --> 00:30:53,119 have a bunch of good pictures coming up that is so close? That is 457 00:30:53,279 --> 00:31:00,119 really close? Is it when the crows come and bombed. That's a good 458 00:31:00,119 --> 00:31:04,519 guest, because a group of crows is a murder, right. A murderer's 459 00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,920 row is a is a lineup that's really good, like your leadoff hitter, 460 00:31:08,279 --> 00:31:14,400 you're number two, the clean up. You said pictures they throw the bars, 461 00:31:15,359 --> 00:31:21,279 I meant batters. Why would think a picture? I think I feel 462 00:31:21,279 --> 00:31:26,400 that I picture like, why would a murderers row? Like you have eight 463 00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:29,559 pitch like the pictures are eight deep. We if you have to go to 464 00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:33,240 your eighth picture, shit is gone very wrong. You do not want that. 465 00:31:33,279 --> 00:31:37,079 But in Little league you sometimes do have to go pretty deep into your 466 00:31:37,119 --> 00:31:41,440 bullpen. There's also a battery. That's the combination of the picture and catcher. 467 00:31:41,519 --> 00:31:45,599 I didn't I didn't know what that was. The confusing thing to me 468 00:31:45,759 --> 00:31:48,839 was the take sign, Like my dad go, oh, coach my husband 469 00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:52,480 was coaching. Coach has a take sign. I'm like, oh, take 470 00:31:52,519 --> 00:31:56,200 the pitch. Yeah, take the pitch, so swing at the pitch. 471 00:31:56,440 --> 00:32:00,759 No leave The take means leave take a take like if you if you see 472 00:32:00,799 --> 00:32:04,759 a kid in the batter's box, right, and a pitch comes in and 473 00:32:04,799 --> 00:32:07,720 the kid doesn't swing, you'll hear a lot of good take, good take, 474 00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:10,599 Are you right right? That means it's good that you didn't swing right? 475 00:32:10,799 --> 00:32:14,519 Got it? That's confusing. I don't. That's like a who's on 476 00:32:14,519 --> 00:32:19,000 first? What did you take his leave? You know? That's what did 477 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:22,799 you travel with the with the team? Well, that year they did do 478 00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:28,200 all Stars, Nate did did all the Georgetown on the East Coast. Well, 479 00:32:28,319 --> 00:32:32,119 since that season, Nate still plays. He's he's now um heading into 480 00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:36,359 his he's thirteen, but next season will be his fourteen. You season, 481 00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:39,039 wow, So we've done a lot of traveling with with with him, you 482 00:32:39,079 --> 00:32:45,799 know, like UM Vegas, California, all over Arizona. It's probably a 483 00:32:45,799 --> 00:32:51,319 horrible idea because he's a pitcher and there's a lot of um arm injuries that 484 00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:54,160 happen from living in a warm climate like here in California, like pitching too 485 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:59,079 much, so you try to limit it, you know, to like seventy 486 00:32:59,079 --> 00:33:06,200 five pitches. Stephanie knows that. But he's big easy. It's hard because 487 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:09,359 he's he's talented and he's a big lefty and that's what coaches like to see 488 00:33:09,519 --> 00:33:15,599 and so it's hard to not use him if you have him in your bullpen. 489 00:33:15,759 --> 00:33:19,400 So as parents, and it's also like, here's a here's a sort 490 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,079 of a deeper issue that I think pertains to any parent, whether your kid 491 00:33:22,279 --> 00:33:28,440 is good at chess or baseball or in your case, volleyball or debate team, 492 00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:32,440 there's a part of your ego that's like I made that, Yeah, 493 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:37,559 fucking made that, fucking human being. I'm the mother of fucking dragons. 494 00:33:39,359 --> 00:33:44,920 And You've become so attached, like and I don't want to admit that to 495 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:47,200 myself because I'm not like a baseball dad where I need my kid at home 496 00:33:47,279 --> 00:33:51,799 run. But but I'm like worse. I'm worse, you know, because 497 00:33:51,799 --> 00:33:54,359 I love it, Yes, Like I love being Nate's mom, and then 498 00:33:54,359 --> 00:33:58,880 at times when he's struggling or in a slump, I feel so like deeply 499 00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:01,759 for him that it hurts way more than it should, and I worry about 500 00:34:01,759 --> 00:34:05,440 it way more than I should. I what is volleyball like that? Oh? 501 00:34:05,519 --> 00:34:08,239 Yeah, yeah, she was doing. I mean she just was so 502 00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:13,559 into volleyball and that's all she like. She was so disciplined, she was 503 00:34:13,559 --> 00:34:15,679 so I never had to go like, Okay, we gotta get up and 504 00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:19,800 let's go to the tournament. She'd be like up in the morning, making 505 00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:22,440 her eggs and doing her you know. So. But then when I go 506 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,639 to the tournament, I'd watch her and I'm like, oh my god, 507 00:34:24,679 --> 00:34:28,880 that's my daughter. Like she's kicking ass. You know. It's just so 508 00:34:29,039 --> 00:34:32,199 it's so fun. But then when she she had this issue with a coach 509 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:38,119 at school that just crushed her spirit and she got burned out and she'd recently 510 00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:42,760 quit. She quit, Yes, that's it, but she quit. But 511 00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:45,519 she's now filling her time with going to Barry's boot camp three days a week, 512 00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:50,559 six am, and going to jump Lab, which is where she was 513 00:34:50,599 --> 00:34:54,719 going for conditioning for volleyball and stuff. Still doing that vert training, Yes, 514 00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:58,599 you can tell him an athlete, mom, Yeah yeah, vert training. 515 00:34:58,679 --> 00:35:01,800 Yeah yeah. So it's just that coach. Though maybe she'll go back 516 00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:07,079 to it. Well, she's going into senior year and she's just not she 517 00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:09,079 does not want to play. It's the coach at high school. So she 518 00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:14,079 was on the high school team and she was also on a travel club team. 519 00:35:14,159 --> 00:35:16,599 So but she just quit all around, she just got burned out. 520 00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:20,840 I understand. I think that's a big danger with the club sports. It's 521 00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,599 too much. It's all year round. It's not just a seasonal. In 522 00:35:23,679 --> 00:35:28,760 our day, you played during volleyball season, and then you couldn't wait for 523 00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:31,199 the next year, yes to do it again. And now it's everything all 524 00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:36,880 the time. Yeah, all year round. Yeah yeah. So cal Rifkin 525 00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:43,599 you learn you you got him. I googled how to reach Cal's hilarious, 526 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:49,119 so I still can't believe it when I so I wrote a letter to I 527 00:35:49,119 --> 00:35:52,199 found like ten email addresses and I wrote to every single one of them. 528 00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:54,039 I'm like a weirdo. I locked myself in my office and I was like, 529 00:35:54,199 --> 00:35:59,599 I'm I'm going to give this my best swing. I'm swinging big Daddy 530 00:35:59,639 --> 00:36:01,800 hacks, only I'm swinging for the fences, like if I can get cal 531 00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:06,920 Ripken Jr. Because the according to my publisher, it's women who buy books. 532 00:36:07,599 --> 00:36:12,760 So even though I semi knew a baseball player who's very famous named Kirk 533 00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:17,239 Gibson, he very famously hit this World Series home run and if you guys 534 00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:20,280 haven't seen it, you should YouTube it, even if you don't give a 535 00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:22,639 fuck about baseball. Because he had an injured two injured legs. It was 536 00:36:22,679 --> 00:36:27,119 like a hamstring and a knee and he wasn't supposed to come in. It 537 00:36:27,159 --> 00:36:30,159 was like at the end of his career. He was old World Series and 538 00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:35,360 the skipper you know, calls him in and he cannot run. He's so 539 00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:37,119 injured. He can't. He can only hit a home run because as you 540 00:36:37,159 --> 00:36:40,159 know, then you can take twenty minutes to run around the bases. He 541 00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:45,559 had to hit one out and he does so it's like one of the greatest 542 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:49,280 moments ever in baseball. But nobody people do not know his name unless they're 543 00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:52,119 baseball fans, women who might buy my book, like it won't have meaning 544 00:36:52,119 --> 00:36:55,119 to them, which it should. Everybody should know Kirk Gibson. He's like 545 00:36:55,159 --> 00:36:59,320 an incredible athlete and a great guy. He raises a lot of money his 546 00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:02,239 Parkinson and so he and I know him because I hosted a benefit for his 547 00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:07,880 foundation in Detroit. Um so I but I would tell people like and they 548 00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:10,960 go who like a lot of baseball moms, they didn't know that. But 549 00:37:12,039 --> 00:37:15,079 everybody knows cal Ripken Junior because of his He also has a sports league for 550 00:37:15,159 --> 00:37:19,280 kids. It's like a little league, and um, he just has a 551 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:22,800 record that won't be broken. So everybody knows his name. So that's why 552 00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:24,840 I was like, I could envision it. I'm like, I see it, 553 00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:29,519 I see it. I'm gonna have to manifest this like oprah. Um 554 00:37:29,679 --> 00:37:31,760 when when I so I wrote, I wrote his one of the people wrote 555 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:35,760 me back and I was like, oh my got And then I wrote another 556 00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:38,320 letter that I craft like. I spent longer on the second letter than I 557 00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:42,079 did on like chapters of my book, Like I mean, I like wrote 558 00:37:42,119 --> 00:37:45,480 it and rewrote it and honed it. And then he said, well, 559 00:37:45,559 --> 00:37:47,960 Cal's traveling, let me pass this along. And I waited and waited. 560 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:52,039 In a couple of weeks later, um, we exchanged a couple more you 561 00:37:52,079 --> 00:37:54,920 know things. I sent him the book and then I kind of had to 562 00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:58,320 put it out of my mind. And one day I opened my email and 563 00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:02,519 all it said was how's this? And then there was a blurb from Cal 564 00:38:02,639 --> 00:38:07,199 Ripken that was like, you know, a couple inches long and it was 565 00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:12,159 stunning, like it was beautiful, and yeah, I said, this is 566 00:38:12,199 --> 00:38:16,119 a wonderful book. Um, like it basically was like something it felt like 567 00:38:16,159 --> 00:38:21,119 I had written right, And then yeah, I would just I did. 568 00:38:21,159 --> 00:38:24,400 I did a happy dance that was that was longer than his winning streak was. 569 00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:30,119 Yeah. I immediately texted to my agent, my publisher, but is 570 00:38:30,119 --> 00:38:34,440 this normal? And I'm dinna, I'm gonna confess something. And I'm not 571 00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:37,079 trying to be funny, nor am I trying to be cute. Okay, 572 00:38:37,199 --> 00:38:40,719 I really feel that he might take it back. I'm not I might cry 573 00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:45,079 right now. I'm fine, I am dead serious. Why, It's just 574 00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:50,239 the way I'm wired. Yeah, yeah, that's what I think. Your 575 00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:54,159 self esteem issues? Yeah, no, Now I want to get we still 576 00:38:54,199 --> 00:39:00,199 haven't this blur. So let's take a quick break because I don't know if 577 00:39:00,199 --> 00:39:02,440 a lot of people know this, but they're about to find out right now. 578 00:39:02,519 --> 00:39:07,880 This show is sponsored by Better Help. Speaking of getting therapy, yeah 579 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:13,000 yeah, Can I talk about my cal Ripken Junior and no bacsies fears? 580 00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:16,400 Yeah, we all. I think everybody can tell just by listening to this 581 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:22,079 show that we all need therapy. All three of my kids are currently in 582 00:39:22,159 --> 00:39:25,880 therapy. All three have their own therapists. Nobody even shares a therapist. 583 00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:31,320 We have so benefited from therapy, and you know what has been life changing, 584 00:39:31,639 --> 00:39:35,519 which is what Better Help is all about, is doing the therapy over 585 00:39:35,599 --> 00:39:38,840 Zoom. We're all forced that way during COVID, but it turns out that 586 00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:44,679 it's really a great way to get therapy because you don't have to fight traffic, 587 00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:47,800 you don't have to find parking. People get anxious just getting to their 588 00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:52,599 therapy appointment, right, I think that's actually a barrier to seeking help for 589 00:39:52,679 --> 00:39:57,119 your mental health issues. But if you can just log right on to your 590 00:39:57,199 --> 00:40:02,039 Zoom and or to your you know, online platform and get a hold of 591 00:40:02,039 --> 00:40:07,280 a great therapist. And another thing I love about Better Help is um if 592 00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:09,280 you don't care for the therapist, if you're not connecting with the therapist, 593 00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:13,920 they will give you a different therapist. Yes, no questions asks, You 594 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:17,440 just fill out a form online questionnaire brief and you get matched with the license 595 00:40:17,519 --> 00:40:22,519 therapist and you yeah, yeah, no additional charge. So if you're thinking 596 00:40:22,559 --> 00:40:25,719 of starting therapy, you really should give Better Help a try find more balance 597 00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:30,880 with Better Help. Visit betterhelp dot com slash fcol today to get ten percent 598 00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:38,039 off your first month. That's better Help Help dot com slash fcol. Yeah. 599 00:40:38,039 --> 00:40:42,239 And while we're at talking about things that improve our lives, I was 600 00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:47,800 looking at your eyelashes, okay, and thrive cosmetics have this eyelash extension. 601 00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:52,800 Use that extension. I use that. I use the Thrive Yes, the 602 00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:57,360 blue it's in the blue contrast. It's like viral. Everyone's obsessed with it. 603 00:40:57,360 --> 00:41:00,280 It's so great. And the thing that I love about it is when 604 00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:02,320 you wash it, it just comes right off like the two little tubes. 605 00:41:02,559 --> 00:41:07,119 Yes, it's the best. And warm water in a washcloth yea comes right 606 00:41:07,199 --> 00:41:12,920 off. Yes. And they also the thing that we love about Thrive Cosmetics 607 00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:19,599 is they have a mission. Um that it's the cause in cosmetics is the 608 00:41:19,679 --> 00:41:22,519 name for a reason. As part of their mission, every purchase supports organizations 609 00:41:22,559 --> 00:41:28,159 that help communities thrive, such as battling domestic abuse, homelessness, cancer, 610 00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:32,760 etc. So you have to try Thrive Cosmetics to see for yourself. Right 611 00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:37,280 now, you can get an exclusive twenty percent off your first order when you 612 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:45,400 visit Thrive Cosmetics slash thrive Sorry Thrive Cosmetics dot com slash fcol that's Thrive Cosmetics 613 00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:52,639 c A U S E M E Tics dot com slash fcol for twenty percent 614 00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:58,320 off your first order. Do it? Yeah? Okay, So the men 615 00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:04,400 that you went to from ys very successful. I wanted I had another vision 616 00:42:05,039 --> 00:42:09,400 everybody loves a baseball movie called Sandlot. Yes, love that you're Yes, 617 00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:15,159 And it's like the people who might appreciate this book, no, the movie 618 00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:20,719 Sandlot. I need that name on my book cover. So and also it's 619 00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:23,360 a very well written movie. And I thought like, let me hunt this 620 00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:28,480 guy down. His name is David Mickey Evans, and I found his website. 621 00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:30,360 It's like an abandoned amusement park, like it looks like no one's been 622 00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:37,960 there in a while. Like Dusty, it's rusty stuff from twenty fifteen. 623 00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:45,000 There's like my next event. It's like the crane Berries are headlining. Um, 624 00:42:47,639 --> 00:42:55,599 come see Midnight Special exactly. So, but it had a contact me. 625 00:42:55,960 --> 00:43:00,000 I was like, I don't know if this is going anyway where I 626 00:43:00,079 --> 00:43:04,880 feel like David Mickey Evans, who wrote Sandlot, is kind of like the 627 00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:07,480 writer in Field of Dreams, Like he doesn't want to be contacted. He's 628 00:43:07,519 --> 00:43:12,760 not trying to be contacted, he's not making himself available, he's not updating 629 00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:15,639 his website. And the last I'm like, but I'm like, look, 630 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:20,920 I got cal Ripken Junior. So obviously miracles happen. Miracles are on my 631 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:24,159 side. Angels are on my side. Maybe there's something about this story and 632 00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:31,000 my brother and like grief that in loss that it's not you know that like 633 00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:35,119 might help people, and you know, if I can shine a light on 634 00:43:35,159 --> 00:43:37,639 that, maybe people will want to help me. And um, so I 635 00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:44,880 wrote a letter and to the contact me and I'm I'm at my best when 636 00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:49,000 I really believe that no one's ever reading it. So as good as my 637 00:43:49,119 --> 00:43:54,199 letter was to Cal, my letter to David Mickey Evans was a masterpiece because 638 00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:59,719 it's like, no one's gonna read this, And in it I said, 639 00:44:00,119 --> 00:44:04,880 look, I'm on a level with you. Cal Ripken Junior blurred my book 640 00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:10,119 and now I like, it's really ruined me because I'm now like so confident 641 00:44:10,239 --> 00:44:15,679 that I think anything, any miracles can happen, and that is why I'm 642 00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:19,280 bothering you. And then I had just it ended with this paragraph. It 643 00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:22,360 was two words, blame Cal. And you know, a couple of days 644 00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:28,199 passed by and I was like, oh my god, my inbox and he 645 00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:36,320 goes all caps. I never ever ever respond to emails like this, and 646 00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:39,280 then it said, oh but you got me with blame Cal. L ol. 647 00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:46,239 Oh my god. So Cal in a way was responsible for getting David 648 00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:50,960 McGibbon. So he said, I've already vetted you, so just send me 649 00:44:51,039 --> 00:44:57,519 the book. And then we like started up like a friendship where he said, 650 00:44:57,719 --> 00:45:00,119 yeah, he said, I really of your writing. It's like you're 651 00:45:00,159 --> 00:45:04,559 sitting here talking to me. And then he said, I've also written a 652 00:45:04,599 --> 00:45:08,440 grief book. Should we trade grief books? He wrote a novel or it's 653 00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:12,960 kind of a memoir. It's hard to explain what it is. It's called 654 00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:16,159 The King of Pacoima. And he wrote the movie Radio Flyer. Do you 655 00:45:16,159 --> 00:45:21,280 remember Radio Flyer? Yes, of course, that's based on a book called 656 00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:23,800 The King of Pacoima, which is about his childhood and his horrendous, abusive 657 00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:28,679 stepfather who was played by Dennis Leary in the movie. And it's a great 658 00:45:28,719 --> 00:45:31,599 book. Like it's a beautiful book. It's like Steinbeck, Like it's concise, 659 00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:35,920 it's muscular, it's a fishing it's beautiful. It'll break your heart, 660 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:39,920 but it's not too griefy. So yeah, we kind of became friends. 661 00:45:40,199 --> 00:45:44,760 No, he that's how he became a big deal, Like he wrote the 662 00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:47,280 King of Pacoima and then he I think I might get this wrong because I 663 00:45:47,519 --> 00:45:51,559 looked it up a while ago, but he sold the screenplay for a million 664 00:45:51,559 --> 00:45:55,960 dollars and then they he wanted to direct it, and then he was removed 665 00:45:57,039 --> 00:46:00,079 because he was like a rookie director and Richard Donner took over, who's like 666 00:46:00,119 --> 00:46:02,719 a big guy, you know. So so it ended up being kind of 667 00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:07,199 a tricky situation for him. But yeah, but that was Radio Flyer. 668 00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:12,599 Radio Flyer was king of Pacoma. Wow. And the book is good. 669 00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:15,320 It's beyond I don't know why I'd never heard of it. I don't know 670 00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:21,800 why everyone hasn't read it. I read it. I like the title too, 671 00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:23,760 isn't it great? Yeah? So I guess he's from Pecoma. So 672 00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:27,360 okay, sound like a bad story. Well I'm getting to the bad part. 673 00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:30,280 So so I got him by the way. I thought Doctor Drew would 674 00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:32,840 be great because to talk about grief and loss and how you know, everyone 675 00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:36,360 grieves differently. For us, it was baseball. For you, it could 676 00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:38,159 be whatever it is. And he couldn't have been nicer than In fact, 677 00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:43,000 he not only wrote me a blurb, he said, hey, um, 678 00:46:43,119 --> 00:46:46,480 I'm pretty good friends with Mike Piazza. Why don't you write a letter to 679 00:46:46,639 --> 00:46:50,639 Mike Piazza and some blurbs and I'll get it to him. And then he 680 00:46:50,639 --> 00:46:53,320 helped me like redrafted because he said it was too long for Piazza's attention span, 681 00:46:53,559 --> 00:46:57,320 so I cut it down. You know, we did not get Piazza, 682 00:46:57,360 --> 00:47:01,000 but the fact that doctor Drew offered that, like everybody was so nice, 683 00:47:01,039 --> 00:47:06,199 but then it was a lot harder with females. Interesting, and Stephanie 684 00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:09,719 was the lone exception. She immediately in two seconds she was like, yeah, 685 00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:14,000 I'll read your book. And then two days later she was like sending 686 00:47:14,039 --> 00:47:17,119 me, you know, like paragraphs she liked and like giving me so much 687 00:47:17,159 --> 00:47:21,239 positive reinforcement in feedback. She was the only one. I had a very 688 00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:23,840 hard time. She's the only female blurbed. I wanted this, Um, 689 00:47:24,559 --> 00:47:28,880 this is kind of a weird this I was not even I don't know if 690 00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:32,920 this is spilling tea, but I'd be interested in your opinion. I'll get 691 00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:37,480 to the want of somebody who was really really horrible. Somebody was horrible, 692 00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:40,400 right, Yes, this person I don't think was horrible, but I had 693 00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:45,400 a very strong reaction to it. Do you know of the writer Mary Carr? 694 00:47:45,119 --> 00:47:49,599 Of course, Oh my, okay, this is crazy, but I 695 00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:53,960 have a reference to Mary Carr in my book and Drunkish, Loving and Leaving 696 00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:59,639 Alcohol Out in January. I literally reference her because I have a little story 697 00:47:59,679 --> 00:48:02,440 about her. But I don't I don't tell the story about her in the 698 00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:07,000 book exactly, but I did an really, really really quick story. I 699 00:48:07,039 --> 00:48:09,079 did this interview because I don't know if this is negative about her, but 700 00:48:09,639 --> 00:48:15,559 I did. I did this interview for not sixty minutes twenty twenty and what 701 00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:22,039 with Elizabeth Vargas, because yeah, but this was before she quit drinking. 702 00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:24,760 So this story is before she quit drinking. Only I had quit drinking at 703 00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:30,519 this point. Mary Carr famously sober, many more years sober than me. 704 00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:35,159 At the time, I was like nine months sober and Mary Carr was like 705 00:48:35,239 --> 00:48:39,039 twenty years sober. And she wrote a book called Lit that is about society. 706 00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:43,440 Yes, that's my favorite of her books. Okay, so I kind 707 00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:49,000 of boycott her now, Okay, well I can't take it away. Lit 708 00:48:49,079 --> 00:48:52,280 is a great book. Well I can tell. I'll tell. I'll add 709 00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:55,519 in on your story, my little Mary Carr story. But suffice it to 710 00:48:55,559 --> 00:49:00,960 say that she wasn't um. She was like seemed a little bit annoyed with 711 00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:04,039 me when she met me, Wait, where did you meet at at We 712 00:49:04,079 --> 00:49:09,599 were both we were both being interviewed for sixty believing. Yeah, So I 713 00:49:09,639 --> 00:49:15,599 met her and she she I she was not rude to me at all, 714 00:49:15,679 --> 00:49:17,760 but she was like she couldn't understand why I was being in her. I 715 00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:22,440 think she just didn't understand, like why I was also being interviewed as an 716 00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:25,519 a I'm Mary Carr and who the fuck's this bit kind of And she was 717 00:49:25,559 --> 00:49:32,280 also like there was a lot of like um like program speak, Like she 718 00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:37,239 was very like, oh, you've been sober nine months? She was like, 719 00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:38,960 I wasn't even able to function when I've been sober nine months. Like 720 00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:43,360 I was like, I couldn't even Like she almost almost like she didn't really 721 00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:45,760 believe that maybe I ever had a bad problem, Like it was kind of 722 00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:51,840 like you're a faker. You're like, have you ever set yourself on fire? 723 00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:54,440 And then eating cat litter to survive? Yeah? And then also I 724 00:49:54,480 --> 00:50:00,679 was having a little girl crush out Elizabeth Vargas at that because so beautiful married 725 00:50:00,679 --> 00:50:02,440 to at the time, she was married to Mark Khan, who I was 726 00:50:02,519 --> 00:50:07,599 like in Memphis, walking in Memphis, and I was like, and she's 727 00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:12,360 just so flipping pretty she is, and she's so nice, and she was 728 00:50:12,599 --> 00:50:15,199 very focused on me when she and I talked about that in the book that 729 00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:21,559 I'm doing my interview and she's so locked in, like and then what happened? 730 00:50:21,679 --> 00:50:24,880 And then what happened, Well, it turned out very shortly after that 731 00:50:25,079 --> 00:50:30,239 she checked herself into rehab for alcohol addictions. So no one likes to think 732 00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:32,440 that, you know that, I know it was twelve step makes since. 733 00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:37,199 I later found out that after the interviews, and I thought she and I 734 00:50:37,239 --> 00:50:38,920 were just getting along famously, I was like, oh my gosh, like 735 00:50:39,079 --> 00:50:43,320 does she anyway? I found out afterwards that she and Mary Carr went to 736 00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:51,360 lunch, and I was like, that's horrible. I'm so glad that you 737 00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:53,360 guys were having the reaction. And I was like, that's so there you 738 00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:58,440 go right there. Mary Carr very famous author. I'm know her in the 739 00:50:58,519 --> 00:51:06,760 same league, so they of course they had the best fucking friends. And 740 00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:09,519 then I wrote a letter to Elizabeth Vargas after she got sober through the producer, 741 00:51:10,199 --> 00:51:15,480 to a producer who was very close to her and who was the one 742 00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:17,960 who brought me onto the show, and I and she and she and I 743 00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:22,039 spoke like over email, and I was like, I'd love to like give 744 00:51:22,039 --> 00:51:24,880 my support, and she's like, writer an email and I will get it 745 00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:28,719 to her. And then she never wrote back. But that's okay, that's 746 00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:31,119 okay because I still think she's lovely. But of course, in my mind, 747 00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:35,320 I'm like, the reason she didn't write back is because she's very busy 748 00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:38,239 hanging out with Mary Carr. No, that's exactly what I pictured. There's 749 00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:43,920 no way. Mary carrs like, Okay, I go to this meeting, 750 00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:50,079 you know, uptown two o'clock on Friday. You know what. You know 751 00:51:50,119 --> 00:51:53,360 how they have those twelve step meetings at people's houses that are private for celebrities, 752 00:51:53,559 --> 00:51:58,119 you know. Mary carrs like, I go to the literary one, 753 00:51:58,519 --> 00:52:01,320 and yes, I think you should come with It's me to buy as Wolf. 754 00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:06,800 There's just like that's a very small group. Well or is it? 755 00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:14,639 Like is Annie Lamot so call them? So I think this this the story 756 00:52:14,679 --> 00:52:19,719 about the person who was legitimately awful. She was awful, and it's objective 757 00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:23,840 because um, my book agent is at CIA and I actually had him get 758 00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:29,559 involved and he deals with a lot of like really big successful people and he 759 00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:32,920 was like, I can't even believe this with the person. This is with 760 00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:37,119 the person. This is with the person that I did tease that legitimately was 761 00:52:37,119 --> 00:52:40,440 awful. Mary Carr was not awful. Okay, I let me be totally 762 00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:46,480 clear. Yes, I had an exaggerated emotional response to Mary Carr's rejection. 763 00:52:46,599 --> 00:52:52,400 Clearly, I clearly. I want to explain it to you, and I 764 00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:55,039 want you to tell me how you would feel. Wait, I know that 765 00:52:55,079 --> 00:52:58,880 this is on me. I know that this is on me. Okay, 766 00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:01,199 we'll be the judge of that. So I had had a lot of luck 767 00:53:01,239 --> 00:53:05,840 reaching out to people directly, and I thought, all right, here's what 768 00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:07,719 I'm gonna do. Because CIAA who reps a lot of big people, my 769 00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:10,360 agent, they reached out to people and had no luck. It's just it's 770 00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:15,199 when it's a personal thing, and I'm like, here's my story. I'm 771 00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:19,159 a big fan of yours, if you could support me. So I wrote 772 00:53:20,079 --> 00:53:25,039 a DM to Mary Carr either on Twitter or Instagram, and I spent a 773 00:53:25,119 --> 00:53:30,320 lot of time on it. And you know, I had had luck previously 774 00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:37,039 with doing this, and here's what's weird. There's a way that you can 775 00:53:37,079 --> 00:53:40,920 just not answer it. For example, I wrote to Amy Schumer because I 776 00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:45,199 don't know. She's like a mom and she's funny. And my agent I 777 00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:47,920 was like, can you please get not My publisher was like Amy Schumer would 778 00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:52,320 be amazing and I'm like, yeah, you're telling me she's like twelve million. 779 00:53:52,559 --> 00:53:54,360 Fought like, how am I going to say? So? Like I 780 00:53:54,360 --> 00:53:57,960 wrote to her, and I wrote to Guy Osiri, who's her managers. 781 00:53:57,960 --> 00:54:00,239 I'm like, well, he has one hundred thousand followers. Maybe a little 782 00:54:00,239 --> 00:54:02,559 bit easy. The fact that she didn't write back to me is how I 783 00:54:02,639 --> 00:54:06,480 want the world to be. That is how the universe should work. Of 784 00:54:06,679 --> 00:54:08,519 course she didn't write back it. She probably will don't see it either. 785 00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:13,119 That's the thing. Yes, Stephanie, you're right. This is right where 786 00:54:13,119 --> 00:54:17,960 I want you. I can tell myself Amy Schumer didn't reject me or not 787 00:54:19,079 --> 00:54:22,599 like my story. You can see a lot of famous people with a big 788 00:54:22,639 --> 00:54:28,360 following. You could go into their They accept your message, but they might 789 00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:30,639 not see it. I have like also, if you have an account like 790 00:54:30,639 --> 00:54:35,360 like Arfur Crying Out Loud, Recamp has hit, they hide some of the 791 00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:38,119 messages. It's you can either you give like a ton of message requests and 792 00:54:38,159 --> 00:54:43,000 then you can put it in your prime, general general and like some of 793 00:54:43,039 --> 00:54:45,679 them I don't even see. And I've had that happen on Facebook, Like 794 00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:50,559 I had no idea that there's the message request that you don't see. Like 795 00:54:50,719 --> 00:54:53,719 three years after my brother died, I was like, what's this and I 796 00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:58,440 pressed I pressed it, and I'm like, condolences. Oh that was nice 797 00:54:58,480 --> 00:55:01,840 of like fifty people that I didn't get back to. That was condolences, 798 00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:06,400 and oh thanks for that grief shot out of nowhere that I wasn't expecting. 799 00:55:06,960 --> 00:55:10,000 Now I'm in the past, like it just happened. Fuck you Zuckerberg. 800 00:55:12,199 --> 00:55:15,159 So that's happened to everybody. Okay, So but here's the thing. I 801 00:55:15,159 --> 00:55:20,239 feel that the most humane thing to do to a writer that's well beneath you 802 00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:23,480 and not as famous as you and whatever is to just simply not respond, 803 00:55:24,159 --> 00:55:30,360 right and then I can think and assume that rightfully. So of course she 804 00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:34,079 didn't see it. She has eleven million people who all think that they're her 805 00:55:34,119 --> 00:55:37,320 best friend writing her dam So in no way was I like Amy Schumer's a 806 00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:39,119 bitch. I worship her. She's amazing, and so's her manager. And 807 00:55:39,199 --> 00:55:42,960 I don't mind that neither of them got but of course they didn't get back 808 00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:47,519 to me. The weird thing that Mary Carr did is this back to you. 809 00:55:47,639 --> 00:55:52,320 I'm already cringing. This is already cringeing. Okay, Now, kids 810 00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:57,000 would say if she had responded or her assistant or something and been like, 811 00:55:57,440 --> 00:56:00,440 she doesn't do that. For example, I tried to get to Tuesdays with 812 00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:05,159 Marie Mitch and and my agent reached out to his agent and got like a 813 00:56:05,199 --> 00:56:08,800 beautiful rejection. Like it was such a beautiful rejection that I'm still feel like 814 00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:13,199 I won because it just said, that's a heck of a letter. And 815 00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:16,199 you know, Mitch hasn't advised me a long time ago to turn down all 816 00:56:16,239 --> 00:56:20,480 of these request because you know he gets so many. But like, this 817 00:56:20,559 --> 00:56:22,079 is a heck of a letter. And by the way, when the book 818 00:56:22,079 --> 00:56:25,920 comes out, send it. So it was like, really beautiful. Mary 819 00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:30,639 Carr did a weird in between and here's what she did. Here's what she 820 00:56:30,719 --> 00:56:32,880 did. Okay, So I'm waiting and I'm waiting, and I'm so nervous 821 00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:37,280 because she's Mary Carr, and I just keep checking checking, like did she 822 00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:45,159 return the message? And I did get back a response one word, no 823 00:56:45,280 --> 00:56:52,199 punctuation, no Oh god, what I felt like I had been punched in 824 00:56:52,199 --> 00:56:55,920 the stomach, because like, why would you go to the trouble of right, 825 00:56:57,039 --> 00:57:00,920 Like why not just let it? Nor just ignore me? Just ignore 826 00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:06,760 it? No, Wow, you'll always have plausible deniability, Like you know, 827 00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:09,360 she'll always have plausible deniability if you ever meet her at a party. 828 00:57:09,559 --> 00:57:14,159 But what that does is it takes you a step down the line where she 829 00:57:14,360 --> 00:57:17,239 knows I'll never meet this bitch anywhere in person I ever have to answer to 830 00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:20,760 this. I do what I want, I tell people I want. And 831 00:57:20,840 --> 00:57:23,920 she probably thinks she has really good boundaries. Do you think when she typed 832 00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:28,440 that, she was like, I, I you come to me, you 833 00:57:28,519 --> 00:57:30,599 slide into my DMS. You're gonna hear about it. Yeah, because I 834 00:57:30,639 --> 00:57:36,800 have boundaries, Okay, because I go to alan On too, stay in 835 00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:43,000 your square. Well, I just it just seemed like it was hurtful, 836 00:57:43,159 --> 00:57:46,559 but it wasn't like, yeah, it wasn't wrong, but necessary. Yeah, 837 00:57:46,559 --> 00:57:50,199 it's not necessary. But I think in her mind it was like, 838 00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:55,159 well, I'm going to respond by telling you no, but why not just 839 00:57:55,199 --> 00:57:58,679 take the time to write a couple of If you're going to take the time 840 00:57:58,679 --> 00:58:01,719 to write no and act, go into your request and go, oh, 841 00:58:01,760 --> 00:58:06,239 I'm going to answer this request with the word no. Why not say sorry, 842 00:58:06,239 --> 00:58:08,199 I don't do any blurring yes? Or how about good luck? No, 843 00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:13,119 but good luck right? That takes two seconds? More yes, or 844 00:58:13,159 --> 00:58:17,079 how about no with a period? Just like you are worth so little, 845 00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:22,039 You are so fucking nothing. You are a speck of shit on my ship. 846 00:58:22,199 --> 00:58:30,519 The only thing worse than no would have been nope, nope would have 847 00:58:30,519 --> 00:58:35,840 been because it's like that has a certain jauntiness to like Nope, nope, 848 00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:39,079 nope. And how funny that you would even think that I would possibly entertain 849 00:58:39,880 --> 00:58:45,000 Nope, nope, nope. You know what, so I want to I 850 00:58:45,079 --> 00:58:49,599 want to do a shout out to our people, and then let us end 851 00:58:49,639 --> 00:58:52,639 the show so that we because I want to record this Patreon while we're on 852 00:58:52,719 --> 00:58:55,119 the topic, and then we're keeping you for our Friday show. So more 853 00:58:55,280 --> 00:58:59,960 Teresa for the Friday show. A Little Girls, A Long Way, Stephanie. 854 00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:05,400 Oh, now now we could keep a little goes a little way. 855 00:59:05,440 --> 00:59:09,079 We want um so much more to cook. We're the opposite of no, 856 00:59:10,199 --> 00:59:19,239 oh, yes, yes uh or yes yes queens ss oh my god. 857 00:59:19,519 --> 00:59:22,159 Okay, let's say how to Ashley. She, oh, that's right. 858 00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:27,159 And Leslie accosted me outside of me did ikea again? And my children? 859 00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:31,440 Oh no, sex trafficked them. M Jacob is so growley reader rocks that 860 00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:37,079 bassinet full of Elizabeth Williamson's kids. Hero, everybody loves Hero. It's Father's 861 00:59:37,159 --> 00:59:40,119 Day. Happy Father's Day, soon, Father's Day, very very soon. 862 00:59:40,239 --> 00:59:45,639 Um Athena she's got great makeup skills and dance moves. Polly, we love 863 00:59:45,639 --> 00:59:50,360 your pancakes and your sisserp and Valerie, Oh my god, sit out of 864 00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:52,760 the park. Yep, that's right, making it how last Way is Fenway 865 00:59:52,840 --> 01:00:00,400 so yes, Fenwicks enough? Katerina checked that Molar, Gaby and Missy they're 866 01:00:00,599 --> 01:00:05,119 like still with one flip flop. Yeah, you better buy. You better 867 01:00:05,119 --> 01:00:14,800 buy Teresa's book to make up for your sassiness. Hot piece of rect Kelly 868 01:00:14,880 --> 01:00:16,800 Brandt. She's not your aunt, but she'll still take you to plan parenthood. 869 01:00:17,519 --> 01:00:22,960 Amy's a count, Aaron land Ho Alicia's time. Leslie, she's still 870 01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:28,119 coughing, Sarah Stefan, Jennifer, get up, Sandra, it's not easy 871 01:00:28,159 --> 01:00:31,559 being green. Christa, we made you want to stoop. And Stephanie's a 872 01:00:31,599 --> 01:00:36,760 stinker wrinker. Also, my friend Adam Lerner can get you a car. 873 01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:39,920 And if you get a car from my friend Adam, I have a friend 874 01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:44,280 who's a car broker. Do you know what that is? So you don't 875 01:00:44,320 --> 01:00:49,920 have to negotiate. Yes, he does everything. And if you're out of 876 01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:52,360 state, uh you, he will just send the car to you. He'll 877 01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:55,280 do all the negotiating, get the car, and it'll just roll up in 878 01:00:55,320 --> 01:01:00,000 your driveway. So nobody needs to be this is this day and age every 879 01:01:00,079 --> 01:01:04,119 people that think they have to go negotiate it. No, you don't. 880 01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:07,599 And it's if you live in California, it's free. There's no charge for 881 01:01:07,719 --> 01:01:10,199 it. The dealerships pay the charge. Anyway, give him a call or 882 01:01:10,320 --> 01:01:15,719 text him at three one zero nine nine eight seven zero for eight. He's 883 01:01:15,719 --> 01:01:19,719 helped a lot of our people already and you're gonna love talking to him. 884 01:01:19,719 --> 01:01:23,559 I'll educate you. Also, our friend Marin A has a small bakery and 885 01:01:23,639 --> 01:01:29,559 gift shop on the island of Kawai called Sugar Skull, So if anyone's ever 886 01:01:29,639 --> 01:01:32,239 vacationing there, they can check it out or like and follow their Instagram page 887 01:01:32,360 --> 01:01:37,480 at Sugar Skull eight oh eight and get fifteen percent off if you use the 888 01:01:37,480 --> 01:01:42,599 code fcol our friend Becky Barris. I don't know what today's date is, 889 01:01:42,639 --> 01:01:45,039 but it's only this is going to go up on Tuesday. Might you might 890 01:01:45,039 --> 01:01:50,920 not make the cutoff for Father's Day? Oh yeah, I think you will. 891 01:01:51,360 --> 01:01:52,719 If you get an order in by June eighth, she'll get it. 892 01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:55,280 She'll get you an order for Father's Day. Could do a T shirt, 893 01:01:55,280 --> 01:02:00,320 You could do a month on a T shirt. Yeah, just basic Becky 894 01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:02,880 dot com or find her on Facebook at basic Becky and we'll do the rest 895 01:02:02,880 --> 01:02:07,400 of them on Friday. And buy Teresa's book if you don't listen to Friday, 896 01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:15,199 which I think you will. Making it home, available on Amazon everywhere 897 01:02:14,960 --> 01:02:19,719 where is your a subtitle Life Lessons from a season of Little League. It's 898 01:02:19,760 --> 01:02:23,239 Tuesday. This is Tuesday right now in podcast world it the book drops today. 899 01:02:23,480 --> 01:02:30,400 Oh my gosh, congratulations day. Everybody go get it amazing and follow 900 01:02:30,440 --> 01:02:36,440 her on Insta Teresa Strasser No, h nice? All right, okay, 901 01:02:36,599 --> 01:02:39,440 thanks everybody, everybody. You're a parent, now, don't fuck it up 902 01:02:39,599 --> 01:02:47,079 here you go